What do older people regret? What old people regret What old people regret
Notes from volunteer Anna Anikina from the Nursing Home: " For several years I helped lonely old people. I can say with confidence that my hierarchy of life values after communicating with dying old people has changed radically. Much of what seemed to be the main thing in life has faded into the background and third plans. What do grandparents most often regret?
They gave birth to too few children
“I now regret so much that we didn’t give birth to a brother or sister to our daughter then. We lived in a communal apartment, five of us in the same room with my parents. And I thought - well, where is another child, where? And this one sleeps in the corner on a chest, because there is nowhere to even put a crib. And then my husband was allocated an apartment through the service line. And then another, bigger one. But the age was no longer the one to give birth. “Now I’m thinking: well, that’s why I didn’t even give birth to five? After all, everything was: a good, reliable husband, a breadwinner, a “stone wall”. The work was kindergarten, school, circles ... Everyone would be raised, raised to their feet, arranged in life. And we just lived like everyone else: everyone has one child, and let us have one.” “I saw how my husband was babysitting a puppy, and I thought - but these are unspent fatherly feelings in him. His love would be enough for ten, and I gave birth to him only one ... "
They worked too hard
The second point is often connected with the first - many grandmothers recall that in their youth they had abortions for fear of losing their jobs, qualifications, and experience. In old age, looking back at the life they have lived, they simply can’t figure out why they held on to this job - often unskilled, unprestigious, boring, hard, low-paid. “I worked as a storekeeper. All the time on the nerves - suddenly they find a shortage, they write me down, then - a court, a prison. And now I think: why did you work? My husband had a good salary. But everyone just worked, and so did I.” “Thirty years I worked in a chemical laboratory. By the age of fifty, there was no health left - she lost her teeth, her stomach was sick, gynecology. And why, you ask? Today my pension is three thousand rubles, not even enough for medicines.
They traveled too little
Among the best memories of the majority of older people are trips, hikes, trips. “I remember how we went to Baikal as students. What an unearthly beauty there! "We are on whole month went on a cruise on a motor ship along the Volga to Astrakhan. What happiness it was! We were on excursions in different historical cities, sunbathing, swimming. Look, I still have pictures!” “I remember how we came to friends in Georgia. What kind of meat did the Georgians treat us to! Their meat was not at all the same as ours, from the store, frozen. It was fresh meat! They also treated us to homemade wine, khachapuri, fruits from their own garden.” “We decided to go to Leningrad for the weekend. At that time, we still had the twenty-first Volga car. Seven hours driving. In the morning we sat down to have breakfast at Petrodvorets on the shore of the Gulf of Finland. And then the fountains started working!” “There were cheap air tickets in the Soviet Union. Why didn't I then go to the Far East, to Sakhalin, to Kamchatka? Now I will never see these lands again.
They had too little contact with friends, children, parents
“How I would like to see my mom now, kiss her, talk to her! And my mother has not been with us for twenty years. I know that when I am gone, my daughter will miss me the same way, she will miss me the same way. But how to explain it to her now? She so rarely comes!” "My best friend from his youth - Vasily Petrovich Morozov - lives two metro stations from us. But for several years we have been talking only on the phone. For two disabled old people, even two metro stations are an insurmountable distance. And what holidays we used to have! Wives baked pies, thirty people gathered at the table. The songs were always sung by our loved ones. We should have met more often, not only on holidays!” “I gave birth to Sashenka and sent her to a nursery at two months. Then - a kindergarten, a school with an after-school program ... In the summer - a pioneer camp. One evening I come home and understand that a stranger lives there, a fifteen-year-old man completely unfamiliar to me.
They bought too many unnecessary things
“Do you see, daughter, the carpet is hanging on the wall? Thirty years ago, they signed up for him in the queue. When the carpets were given, my husband was on a business trip, I alone dragged him on my hump from Leninsky Prospekt to the Three Stations, and then by train to Pushkino. And who needs this carpet today? Unless for homeless people instead of bedding. “You see, in our buffet there is a German porcelain service for twelve people. And we never even ate or drank from it. ABOUT! Let's take a cup and a saucer from there and drink tea from them, finally. And choose the most beautiful rosettes for jam. “We were crazy about these things, we bought, got them, tried ... But they don’t even make life more comfortable - on the contrary, they interfere. Well, why did we buy this polished "wall"? They spoiled all childhood for children - “do not touch”, “do not scratch”. And it would be better if there was the simplest wardrobe here, knocked together from boards, but the children could play, draw, climb! “I bought Finnish boots for my entire salary. Then for a whole month we ate only potatoes, which my grandmother brought from the village. And for what? Did someone once begin to respect me more, treat me better because I have Finnish boots, while others don’t?
They weren't interested in spiritual matters
“I didn’t even know a single prayer. Now I pray as much as I can. At least the most in simple terms: "Lord have mercy!" Prayer is such a joy." “You know, all my life I was somehow afraid of believers. I was especially always afraid that they would secretly teach my faith to my children, tell them that there is a God. My children are baptized, but I never talked about God with them - you yourself understand, then anything could happen. And now I understand - the believers had a life, they had something important, which for me then passed by.
They learned too little
“Well, why didn’t I go to college, limited myself to only a technical school? After all, she could easily get a higher education. And everyone said: where are you, already twenty-five years old, come on, work, tie up with schoolchildren. “And what prevented me from learning German well? After all, how many years I lived in Germany with my military husband, but I only remember “auf Wiedersehen”. “How little I read books! All business, business. You see what a huge library we have, and most of these books I have never even opened. I don't know what's under the covers.
Each of us has our own priorities in life. Very often, in the pursuit of imaginary values, we lose sight of the main thing ...
Notes from volunteer Anna Anikina from the Nursing Home: For several years I helped lonely old people. I can say with confidence that my hierarchy of life values after communicating with dying old people has changed radically. Much of what seemed to be the main thing in life has faded into the background and third plans. This is what grandparents most often regret.
They gave birth to too few children
“I now regret so much that we didn’t give birth to a brother or sister to our daughter then. We lived in a communal apartment, five of us in the same room with my parents. And I thought - well, where is another child, where? And this one sleeps in the corner on a chest, because there is nowhere to even put a crib. And then my husband was allocated an apartment through the service line. And then another, bigger one. But the age was no longer the one to give birth.
“Now I’m thinking: well, that’s why I didn’t even give birth to five? After all, everything was: a good, reliable husband, a breadwinner, a “stone wall”. There was work, a kindergarten, a school, circles ... Everyone would be raised, raised to their feet, arranged in life. And we just lived like everyone else: everyone has one child, and let us have one.”
“I saw how my husband was babysitting a puppy, and I thought - but these are unspent fatherly feelings in him. His love would be enough for ten, and I gave birth to him only one ... "
They worked too hard
The second point is often connected with the first - many grandmothers recall that in their youth they had abortions for fear of losing their jobs, qualifications, and experience. In, looking back at their lives, they simply cannot put their minds to why they held on to this job - often unskilled, unprestigious, boring, heavy, low-paid.
“I worked as a storekeeper. All the time on the nerves - suddenly they find a shortage, they write me down, then - a court, a prison. And now I think: why did you work? My husband had a good salary. But everyone just worked, and so did I.”
“Thirty years I worked in a chemical laboratory. By the age of fifty, there was no health left - she lost her teeth, her stomach was sick, gynecology. And why, you ask? Today my pension is three thousand rubles, not even enough for medicines.
They traveled too little
Among the best memories of the majority of older people are trips, hikes, trips.
“I remember how we went to Baikal as students. What an unearthly beauty there!
“We went on a cruise on a boat down the Volga to Astrakhan for a whole month. What happiness it was! We were on excursions in different historical cities, sunbathing, swimming. Look, I still have pictures!”
“I remember how we came to friends in Georgia. What kind of meat did the Georgians treat us to! Their meat was not at all the same as ours, from the store, frozen. It was fresh meat! They also treated us to homemade wine, khachapuri, fruits from their own garden.”
“We decided to go to Leningrad for the weekend. At that time, we still had the twenty-first Volga car. Seven hours driving. In the morning we sat down to have breakfast at Petrodvorets on the shore of the Gulf of Finland. And then the fountains started working!”
“There were cheap air tickets in the Soviet Union. Why didn't I then go to the Far East, to Sakhalin, to Kamchatka? Now I will never see these lands again.
They had too little contact with friends, children, parents
“How I would like to see my mom now, kiss her, talk to her! And my mother has not been with us for twenty years. I know that when I am gone, my daughter will miss me the same way, she will miss me the same way. But how to explain it to her now? She so rarely comes!”
“My best friend since youth - Vasily Petrovich Morozov - lives two metro stations from us. But for several years we have been talking only on the phone. For two disabled old people, even two metro stations are an insurmountable distance. And what holidays we used to have! Wives baked pies, thirty people gathered at the table. The songs were always sung by our loved ones. We should have met more often, not only on holidays!”
“I gave birth to Sashenka and sent her to a nursery at two months. Then - a kindergarten, a school with an after-school program ... In the summer - a pioneer camp. One evening I come home and understand that a stranger lives there, a fifteen-year-old man completely unfamiliar to me.
They bought too many unnecessary things
“Do you see, daughter, the carpet is hanging on the wall? Thirty years ago, they signed up for him in the queue. When the carpets were given, my husband was on a business trip, I alone dragged him on my hump from Leninsky Prospekt to the Three Stations, and then by train to Pushkino. And who needs this carpet today? Unless for homeless people instead of bedding.
“You see, in our buffet there is a German porcelain service for twelve people. And we never even ate or drank from it. ABOUT! Let's take a cup and a saucer from there and drink tea from them, finally. And choose the most beautiful rosettes for jam.
“We were crazy about these things, we bought, got them, tried ... But they don’t even make life more comfortable - on the contrary, they interfere. Well, why did we buy this polished "wall"? They spoiled all childhood for children - “do not touch”, “do not scratch”. And it would be better if there was the simplest wardrobe here, knocked together from boards, but the children could play, draw, climb!
“I bought Finnish boots for my entire salary. Then for a whole month we ate only potatoes, which my grandmother brought from the village. And for what? Did someone once begin to respect me more, treat me better because I have Finnish boots, while others don’t?
They weren't interested in spiritual matters
“I didn’t even know a single prayer. Now I pray as much as I can. At least in the simplest words: “Lord, have mercy!” Prayer is such a joy."
“You know, all my life I was somehow afraid of believers. I was especially always afraid that they would secretly teach my faith to my children, tell them that there is a God. My children are baptized, but I never talked about God with them - you yourself understand, then anything could happen. And now I understand - the believers had a life, they had something important, which for me then passed by.
They learned too little
“Well, why didn’t I go to college, limited myself to only a technical school? After all, she could easily get a higher education. And everyone said: where are you, already twenty-five years old, come on, work, tie up with schoolchildren.
“And what prevented me from learning German well? After all, how many years I lived in Germany with my military husband, but I only remember “auf Wiedersehen”.
“How little I read books! All business yes business. You see what a huge library we have, and most of these books I have never even opened. I don't know what's under the covers.
What old people regret. Notes of volunteer Anna Anikina from the Nursing Home.
For several years I helped lonely old people. I can say with confidence that my hierarchy of life values after communicating with dying old people has changed radically. Much of what seemed to be the main thing in life has faded into the background and third plans.
They gave birth to too few children
“I now regret so much that we didn’t give birth to a brother or sister to our daughter then. We lived in a communal apartment, five of us in the same room with my parents. And I thought - well, where is another child, where? And this one sleeps in the corner on a chest, because there is nowhere to even put a crib. And then my husband was allocated an apartment through the service line. And then another, bigger one. But the age was no longer the one to give birth.
“Now I’m thinking: well, that’s why I didn’t even give birth to five? After all, everything was: a good, reliable husband, a breadwinner, a “stone wall”. There was work, a kindergarten, a school, circles ... Everyone would have been raised, raised to their feet, arranged in life. And we just lived like everyone else: everyone has one child, and let us have one.”
They worked too hard
The second point is often connected with the first - many grandmothers recall that in their youth they had abortions for fear of losing their jobs, qualifications, and experience. In old age, looking back at the life they have lived, they simply can’t figure out why they held on to this job - often unskilled, unprestigious, boring, hard, low-paid.
“I worked as a storekeeper. All the time on the nerves - suddenly they find a shortage, they write me down, then - a court, a prison. And now I think: why did you work? My husband had a good salary. But everyone just worked, and so did I.”
They traveled too little
“We went on a cruise on a boat down the Volga to Astrakhan for a whole month. What happiness it was! We were on excursions in different historical cities, sunbathing, swimming. Look, I still have pictures!”
“There were cheap air tickets in the Soviet Union. Why didn't I then go to the Far East, to Sakhalin, to Kamchatka? Now I will never see these lands again.
They bought too many unnecessary things
“Do you see, daughter, the carpet is hanging on the wall? Thirty years ago, they signed up for him in the queue. When the carpets were given, my husband was on a business trip, I alone dragged him on my hump from Leninsky Prospekt to the Three Stations, and then by train to Pushkino. And who needs this carpet today? Unless for homeless people instead of bedding.
“You see, in our buffet there is a German porcelain service for twelve people. And we never even ate or drank from it. ABOUT! Let's take a cup and a saucer from there and drink tea from them, finally. And choose the most beautiful rosettes for jam.
They had too little contact with friends, children, parents
“How I would like to see my mom now, kiss her, talk to her! And my mother has not been with us for twenty years. I know that when I am gone, my daughter will miss me the same way, she will miss me the same way. But how to explain it to her now? She so rarely comes!”
“I gave birth to Sashenka and sent her to a nursery at two months. Then - a kindergarten, a school with an after-school program ... In the summer - a pioneer camp. One evening I come home and understand that a stranger lives there, a fifteen-year-old man completely unfamiliar to me.
They learned too little
“Well, why didn’t I go to college, limited myself to only a technical school? After all, she could easily get a higher education. And everyone said: where are you, already twenty-five years old, come on, work, tie up with schoolchildren.
“And what prevented me from learning German well? After all, how many years I lived in Germany with my military husband, but I only remember “auf Wiedersehen”.
For several years I helped lonely old people. I can say with confidence that my hierarchy of life values after communicating with dying old people has changed radically. Much of what seemed to be the main thing in life has faded into the background and third plans.
- They gave birth to too few children
“I now regret so much that we didn’t give birth to a brother or sister to our daughter then. We lived in a communal apartment, five of us in the same room with my parents. And I thought - well, where is another child, where? And this one sleeps in the corner on a chest, because there is nowhere to even put a crib. And then my husband was allocated an apartment through the service line. And then another, bigger one. But the age was no longer the one to give birth.
“Now I’m thinking: well, that’s why I didn’t even give birth to five? After all, everything was: a good, reliable husband, a breadwinner, a “stone wall”. There was work, a kindergarten, a school, circles ... Everyone would be raised, raised to their feet, arranged in life. And we just lived like everyone else: everyone has one child, and let us have one.”
- They worked too hard
The second point is often connected with the first - many grandmothers recall that in their youth they had abortions for fear of losing their jobs, qualifications, and experience. In old age, looking back at the life they have lived, they simply can’t figure out why they held on to this job - often unskilled, unprestigious, boring, hard, low-paid.
“I worked as a storekeeper. All the time on the nerves - suddenly they find a shortage, they write me down, then - a court, a prison. And now I think: why did you work? My husband had a good salary. But everyone just worked, and so did I.”
- They traveled too little
“We went on a cruise on a boat down the Volga to Astrakhan for a whole month. What happiness it was! We were on excursions in different historical cities, sunbathing, swimming. Look, I still have pictures!”
“There were cheap air tickets in the Soviet Union. Why didn't I then go to the Far East, to Sakhalin, to Kamchatka? Now I will never see these lands again.
- They bought too many unnecessary things
“Do you see, daughter, the carpet is hanging on the wall? Thirty years ago, they signed up for him in the queue. When the carpets were given, my husband was on a business trip, I alone dragged him on my hump from Leninsky Prospekt to the Three Stations, and then by train to Pushkino. And who needs this carpet today? Unless for homeless people instead of bedding.
“You see, in our buffet there is a German porcelain service for twelve people. And we never even ate or drank from it. ABOUT! Let's take a cup and a saucer from there and drink tea from them, finally. And choose the most beautiful rosettes for jam.
- They had too little contact with friends, children, parents
“How I would like to see my mom now, kiss her, talk to her! And my mother has not been with us for twenty years. I know that when I am gone, my daughter will miss me the same way, she will miss me the same way. But how to explain it to her now? She so rarely comes!”
“I gave birth to Sashenka and sent her to a nursery at two months. Then - a kindergarten, a school with an after-school program ... In the summer - a pioneer camp. One evening I come home and understand that a stranger lives there, a fifteen-year-old man completely unfamiliar to me.
- They learned too little
“Well, why didn’t I go to college, limited myself to only a technical school? After all, she could easily get a higher education. And everyone said: where are you, already twenty-five years old, come on, work, tie up with schoolchildren.
“And what prevented me from learning German well? After all, how many years I lived in Germany with my military husband, but I only remember “auf Wiedersehen”.
- They weren't interested in spiritual matters
“You know, all my life I was somehow afraid of believers. I was especially always afraid that they would secretly teach my faith to my children, tell them that there is a God. My children are baptized, but I never talked about God with them - you yourself understand, then anything could happen. And now I understand - the believers had a life, they had something important, which for me then passed by.
1. They had too few children.
“You know, Anechka, I’m so sorry now that we didn’t give birth to a brother or sister to our daughter then. We lived in a communal apartment, five of us in the same room with my parents. And I thought - well, where is another child, where? And this one sleeps in the corner on a chest, because there is nowhere to even put a crib. And then my husband was allocated an apartment through the service line. And then another, bigger one. But the age was no longer the one to give birth.
“Now I’m thinking: well, that’s why I didn’t even give birth to five? After all, everything was there: a good, reliable husband, a breadwinner, a “stone wall”. There was work, a kindergarten, a school, circles ... Everyone would be raised, raised to their feet, arranged in life. And we just lived like everyone else: everyone has one child, and let us have one.”
“I saw how my husband was babysitting a puppy, and I thought - but these are unspent fatherly feelings in him. His love would be enough for ten, and I gave birth to him only one ... "
2. They worked too hard to the detriment of the family.
“I worked as a storekeeper. All the time on the nerves - suddenly they find a shortage, they write me down, then - a court, a prison. And now I think: why did you work? My husband had a good salary. But everyone just worked, and so did I.”
“Thirty years I worked in a chemical laboratory. By the age of fifty, there was no health left - she lost her teeth, her stomach was sick, gynecology. And why, you ask? Today my pension is 3,000 roubles, not even enough for medicines.”
In old age, looking back at the life they have lived, many people simply cannot figure out why they held on to this job - often unskilled, unprestigious, boring, hard, low-paid.
3. They traveled too little.
Among the best memories of the majority of older people are trips, hikes, trips.
“I remember how we went to Baikal as students. What an unearthly beauty there!”
“We went on a cruise on a boat down the Volga to Astrakhan for a whole month. What happiness it was! We were on excursions in different historical cities, sunbathing, swimming. Look, I still have pictures!”
“We decided to go to Leningrad for the weekend. At that time, we still had the twenty-first Volga car. Seven hours driving. In the morning we sat down to have breakfast at Petrodvorets on the shore of the Gulf of Finland. And then the fountains started working!”
4. They bought too many unnecessary things.
“You see, in our buffet there is a German porcelain service for twelve people. And we never even ate or drank from it. ABOUT! Let's take a cup and a saucer from there and drink tea from them, finally. And choose the most beautiful rosettes for jam.
“We were crazy about these things, we bought, got them, tried ... But they don’t even make life more comfortable - on the contrary, they interfere. Well, why did we buy this polished “wall”? They spoiled all childhood for children - “do not touch”, “do not scratch”. And it would be better if there was the simplest wardrobe here, knocked together from boards, but the children could play, draw, climb!”
“I bought Finnish boots for my entire salary. Then for a whole month we ate only potatoes, which my grandmother brought from the village. And for what? Did someone once begin to respect me more, treat me better because I have Finnish boots, while others do not?”
5. They had too little contact with friends, children, parents.
“How I would like to see my mom now, kiss her, talk to her! And my mother has not been with us for twenty years. I know that when I am gone, my daughter will miss me the same way, she will miss me the same way. But how to explain it to her now? She so rarely comes!”
“I gave birth to Sashenka and sent her to a nursery at two months. Then - a kindergarten, a school with an after-school program ... In the summer - a pioneer camp. One evening I come home and understand that a stranger, a fifteen-year-old man completely unknown to me, lives there.
6. They studied too little.
“How little I read books! All business yes business. You see what a huge library we have, and most of these books I have never even opened. I don't know what's under the covers."
7. They were not interested in spiritual matters and did not seek faith.
“You know, all my life I was somehow afraid of believers. I was especially always afraid that they would secretly teach my faith to my children, tell them that there is a God. My children are baptized, but I never spoke about God with them - you yourself understand, then anything could happen. And now I understand that the believers had a life, they had something important, which for me then passed by.”
