Best friends can be more important than relationships. "Together it's fun to walk across the open spaces" or why do we need friends? Is it good to have friends
Parents should understand well: it depends on them what future their child will have. And it's not about gifts, clothes or educational institution. Much more important is what moral and spiritual values they can bring up in their child. After all, it is they who will become that guiding star that will not let their crumbs get lost in the future.
An important point in raising a child is to provide information about friendship. After all, social relationships are an integral part of life. Agree, it's hard to imagine happy child who is completely devoid of communication with others. Therefore, it is necessary to teach your child from an early age how to properly build relationships with others. And proverbs about a friend are perfect for this purpose.
Why are children lonely?
It is very easy to make friends in kindergarten, because during this period, most children do not pay attention to clothes, social status, age, and so on. But with the transition to school, everything changes dramatically.
Quite different laws reign here, and those who are not familiar with them quickly find themselves among the “losers”. Such children are like white crows, useless and uninteresting to anyone. But worse is that over time they become an easy target for those who want to raise their own by humiliating others.
Subsequently, the driven child becomes withdrawn, he begins to have problems with his studies, and faith in people fades from day to day. How to avoid it? It is best to teach the child these unwritten laws of society from the very beginning, so that when he gets into a new team, he can easily join it. And help in this, no matter how trite it may sound, the usual proverbs about friends.
Why should you use proverbs?
So, the problem of closed children is that they do not know how to behave correctly in this or that situation. Therefore, it is necessary from an early age to explain to the child elementary ones that are based on mutual respect and trust.
Proverbs about a friend can be an ideal means to achieve this goal. There are several reasons for this:
Basic Laws of Friendship
Now let's talk about friendship itself and about the principles on which it is based. But you need to understand that if most of what has been said seems like a simple truth to an adult, then for a child it is a dark forest. Therefore, each incomprehensible moment needs to be well explained to him, and only then move on to the next one.
So, let's start with the basics of friendship, namely trust. After all, who can be friends with someone who cannot be relied upon? What proverbs about a friend can be used as an example?
- "One for all, and all for one" - ideal for children of any age, as it is easily perceived.
- "There are no friends - look, found - take care."
- Also a good example would be the proverb " old friend more expensive than the new two.
Why is it so important to have friends?
During training, it is likely that the child will ask a provocative question: “Why do we need friends at all?” It is very important at this moment not to get confused and give a clear answer, so that the baby understands everything correctly.
All the same proverbs about a friend can help with this. For example:
- "What one has with difficulty, then with friends with laughter."
- "Even the fastest bee alone can't make much honey."
- "You can't tie a knot with one hand."
- "A friendly herd and an evil wolf is not terrible."
In principle, there are many such examples. But the essence is the same for everyone - it is impossible to live happily without friends. And in order for the meaning of the above to better reach the mind of the child, use the images of characters from his favorite cartoons as an additional example. After all, such visualization will greatly facilitate the process of raising your child.
There is no good, bad, good. There is no cute, beautiful, evil. There are only two types of people, no more: your person and the person not yours. Anton Pavlovich Chekhov
A friend is one soul living in two bodies. Aristotle
Friendship doubles the joys and cuts the sorrows in half. Francis Bacon
In modern society, partners change too often and few lovers stay together forever. True friendship is becoming more and more important. She is selfless, does not judge and does not demand anything in return. Friends make us happier, more balanced and even able to replace the family. Friends can be more important than a relationship with a loved one. Especially if the love is not real, which lives for 3-4 years or less, after which it is replaced by a feeling of boredom and doom.
“Today you will stay with me,” says Alice and takes her friend by the hand. Ekaterina is standing with things at the door to Alice's apartment. Soon after, she is already sitting with a cup of tea and no longer feels completely lost. “Everything will be fine,” Alice says, and Ekaterina cannot help but believe her friend.
Good friends are priceless. And, as a rule, they find the right words at the right time. We feel stronger, happier and can be ourselves in their presence. They are aware of our quirks, most often they know what we are thinking, and they laugh at even our worst jokes. Friends are a balm for the soul! And they prolong our lives, studies have shown. Real friendship- such a valuable gift that it can often be considered more important than relationships.
The person you trust
A true friend doesn't overwhelm you, but helps you feel needed, confident, and happy about your successes.
A friend is pleasant to you, you trust him; he is there when you need him. This is a short description of a friend. Although this is not the love that a romantic couple has, it is also a kind of love.
Loyalty, honesty, and openness are three characteristics a good friend should have. All these features build trust and evoke friendly feelings.
How to find friends
You need to look for similar people - the more you have in common, the less difficulties arise in mutual understanding. The friend knows what you are talking about, and there is no need to explain everything in detail.
If you meet a person who fascinates you, but in all other respects is not like you, then there is a danger that this charm will quickly pass. The similarity, although it may seem boring at first glance, manifests itself as a much more viable basis for friendship. Those who are similar to each other are much better suited to each other.
How important are friends
If you freely share your thoughts and feelings with a friend, then your friend is a real one.
Friends are very important. Not only for communication: a friend accepts you for who you are. Friendship is something unconditional. The friend does not judge. He is listening. Even if you do the wrong thing when your friend would do otherwise, it won't change anything in the friendship. Friendship will survive.
True friendship will endure any test.
Under certain circumstances, friendship can endure more trials than love. In partnership, we do not have such equal expectations in relationships as we do in friendship. In the relationship within the couple in love, which ended in parting, the most important thing did not develop - friendship.
Expectations in friendship and love
In a love relationship, partners must put in more effort and sacrifice something. We do not expect, for example, that friends will make us happy - and in relationships within a couple, this, unfortunately, is not uncommon. At the same time, we put a lot of effort into maintaining a relationship with a romantic partner, and friendship is hardly given so much attention.
Meanwhile friendly relations also needs to be protected. However, in a different way than a relationship in a pair. There are friendships that last for decades, and people see each other only a couple of times a year. For friends, the frequency of contacts is less important than intimacy. It is important that friends meet disinterestedly and this is a connection that can always be restored.
Friends can replace family
A true friend will make time for you no matter what; he always delivers what he promises.
If a person loses a partner in a relationship, he needs good friends, so you should not give up your friends for a partner. Even if the partner does not like your friend or vice versa. Even if it is difficult, you should continue to maintain friendly relations. And for this it is absolutely not necessary to sit three of us at the same table.
Thus, friends become more and more important. So much more so that they can - most definitely - replace family ties. After all, in a small family, we don't have much of a choice of who to choose. In a large family there have always been those who are closer to the rest of the person and whom he could choose for himself as a confidant.
Friendships today often replace missing family structures. Women talk for hours over a cup of tea or coffee; men communicate over a glass of beer. It's not just a cliché. Male friendship satisfies male needs, and female friendship satisfies the needs of women.
The needs of women and men. Differences
Men love not so much to communicate as to do something together. This does not mean that they do not talk to each other, but common activities are in the foreground. For women, conversation and emotional exchange are much more important.
Men behave differently in conflict situations. They just speak their mind and things get better again. In addition, they are less vindictive than women. If they compete with each other, then, rather, at a professional level. Women are often in personal competition.
How to talk about sensitive topics
Whether it is male or female friendship, from time to time there is a need to talk about this or that sensitive topic. In this case, it is better to ask questions and talk about yourself. After all, the question is not a criticism, but rather an interest. If you cannot understand, for example, the motive for your friend's choice of a partner, then you can ask: "What do you see in this person that is special that I do not see?"
It is common to think that love relationships are a matter that has nothing to do with friends. In reality, this is not so. It is better that your girlfriend talks openly with you also on this topic, if possible, expresses her doubts. Perhaps she notices something that you do not pay attention to.
Are there topics that should not be interfered with? Forbidden zones are always something destructive. It's all about how you talk about it. Who, if not the best friend, will tell you the truth?
It is absolutely not necessary to be of the same opinion with a friend. But if you know each other well, you will definitely be able to convey your thoughts. Good friends always understand how to communicate with each other. And even if a friend rebukes you for a mistake, then in such a conversation there are rarely so deep wounds that the friendship breaks up.
Why Friendship Breaks Down
What are the most common reasons why friendships fall apart? Most often this happens due to a breach of trust. If the foundations of friendship are violated or a friend behaves not loyally. If something happens that you cannot understand, and at the same time there is no way to talk about what happened.
Sometimes friends just go in their development in different directions. The reasons for the end of a friendship are very similar to the reasons for breaking up a love relationship within a couple. After all, friendship is also a relationship based on friendly love.
Is there a recipe for friendship for life
There really is no such recipe. A sense of sympathy and emotional closeness allows you to accept any changes in a friend. And these feelings - in happy cases - can last a lifetime.
Alexandra LAPSHINA, especially for Lady Chef.Ru
Alexandra Kovyazina | 18 August 2016
Youth newspaper
In the modern world, teenagers consider themselves lonely, having close friends and loving parents. Today I will try to explain why the current generation has such thoughts and prove that you are not alone.
Do you often think: "They don't understand me"? Do you often refuse to share news from your family with your loved ones? Everyday life? Maybe you tell your friends: “Yes, it’s clear that I’m fat and ugly!”, And when they try to convince you otherwise, the very first phrase is “He / she is just trying to deceive me.”
As a teenager, I can say that I have encountered such a problem more than once, this is quite normal for this age.
Very often people appear in our life who change it for the better, but at one point this person simply stops communicating or leaves our life after a quarrel that happened, in general, because of a trifle, but you understand that this is your friendship is over. Sometimes it is so difficult to realize that this person is no longer your friend, that in difficult moments of life you want to call him / her and ask for advice, and you are already dialing a painfully familiar number, when suddenly such thoughts appear in your head: “We stopped communicating , it is unlikely that he / she will answer”, “Will he / she be glad to hear my voice and even want to talk to me?”. Questions like this usually numb us, if they don't force us to just turn off the phone and get out of the situation ourselves. It is necessary to overcome these fears and call or at least write to her / him. If you have already written or called, to which they answered: “Sorry, but I don’t want to this moment talk to you. ”, then you are afraid to remind yourself for obvious reasons. But if you didn’t even bother to try, then there’s no point in worrying either, who knows, maybe your friend is also worried because of the circumstances and doesn’t know how to explain why it happened or just doesn’t know how to apologize to you for what he did error. Well, if you are guilty of something, do not be afraid to admit it. good friends always need to cherish and appreciate your friendship.
Thank you for your attention.
Our expert - family psychologist and Head of the Assistance Center Anna Khnykina.
Maya Milic, AiF.ru: Why do some people have many friends, while others have few?
Anna Khnykina: It depends on how much a person wants and knows how to make friends.
— And what affects our ability to make friends?
- The need for contact with others is very strongly influenced, and this need is different. Also an important role is played by trust in the world as a whole, the experience of the past life of each individual. It is important in which family a person lived, whether or not he went to kindergarten, whether he was active at school, whether he went in for sports, in what class he studied - what kind of environment was there. All life experiences, including contact with society, affect our ability to make friends.
— Why is friendship important to a person? So why are we friends?
“Friend is the root of the word “other”. Now, if “family” is “seven selves”, then “friend” is “another me”. This is a reflection of me as I am not. Friendship is a reflection of oneself in society. We surround ourselves with different people who, to varying degrees, are similar to us or to “anti-us”, which is the other side of the same coin, close to us. We look at friends and understand what we ourselves are.
Friendship is different, and does not mean at all that if one person spends more time with you, then he is a better friend than everyone else.
— How many true friends can a person have? One, two or more?
- Friends in a deep sense, it is customary to call people very close to us, and many people still believe that there can not be many “true friends”. I would probably agree. Very close contact requires an investment of time, attention, and so on. In addition, a very open, trusting relationship is quite emotional, and this is also an investment.
If an adult person, in addition to his wife and children, has 100 more friends with whom he will maintain these relations, he simply will not be enough for everyone - there is a limited amount of time in the day, and a person has a limited amount of mental strength ...
Some 99th friend will miss you forever... The normal perception of friendship with 100 friends at the same time, perhaps, can be considered in adolescence. This property of age is to have 100 friends. And consider them all real. And you should not dissuade your child that not all these people are his friends, it will not work!
— Is it okay to have friends for different purposes? Roughly speaking, to have fun with some, to be sad with others?
- I'm still sure that the friendship that we are talking about, "exclusively real", does not imply goals. With people very close to us, we can share joys and difficulties. It is important here, rather, that any person will share joy with you with pleasure, but you won’t go to anyone with sadness, you need someone special who is ready to share this, who will understand you correctly and will not betray, for example, with the words: “ Well, what are you doing like that again, for the umpteenth time you couldn’t?!?!.
— They say love lasts 3 years. How long can friendship last?— If we are talking about Love and Friendship as high social values, then these are enduring things. What the hell, without turning around?
It was passion, unencumbered by anything. As the saying goes: "Loved, parted." It's the same with friendship. Close people are therefore close - they feel each other, they can understand, they can hear from each other what they will not accept from someone else. It is through closeness that trust and mutual understanding come about. Friendship, like love, can last forever. While both want it and cherish the relationship.
- How to understand when it is no longer worth grabbing a friend? When did this relationship just come to its logical end?
- When contact between people disappears, it means that something has broken. Is there anything else you can do if you have common interests. But if your interests diverged dramatically, you can keep in mind your common past.
The point here is that at different age periods we face different tasks, and we need different support. We ourselves grow internally throughout our lives, and of course, we need a “different reflection” at different periods of life. If you really appreciate what was between you, then when you feel that you have “outgrown” this relationship, you can communicate for a long time and receive pleasant emotions from each other, just remembering what happened between you.
All this is possible only when your relationship is not overloaded with expectations. When we reduce the distance between each other, there is good ground for expectations: we are too frank, we made promises, I gave in to him, he cannot refuse me, which means I can count on something. That's when categoricalness, obligation appears here, we have expectations, and with them something that we can share, weigh, evaluate ... This is where weeds begin to grow in relationships that can kill them in the future.
— Is it worth it to be philosophical about friendship, because everything ends?
- And how else can we relate to what is irrevocably gone? Memory is absolutely our personal territory, and how we keep our relations in it depends only on us.
— How to understand the difference between friendship and just friendship?
- "Just a friendly relationship" is simpler, clearer and less painful for everyone. It's about boundaries: with a friend there is no danger of dissolving and imbued with expectations.
In the social, public-living format that is still familiar to us, the word “friend” means a greater degree of closeness than “friend”. This person, your friend, you can trust and tell more.
— They say spouses should be not only lovers and partners, but also friends. Do you agree with this?
- In marriage, you just need to be friends. How to make friends in marriage? Yes, just like out of wedlock. There is probably only one advice: be careful with your expectations. There is exactly the same friendship as everywhere between people. It’s just that when she’s not married, marriage turns into that very routine that loses all meaning over time ...
