Obsessive fan: what to do? Obsessive admirer: “Go away, disappear, dissolve... The man found out how to get rid of the admirer.
Macho
As a rule, this is an aging subject with ceramic teeth and a flabby belly hanging from a belt. He has achieved a lot, has seen this life without embellishment, knows everything about women, and that is why you should reciprocate his feelings. Right here and now.
Valeria Protasova
Reading time: 7 minutes
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Indeed, signs of attention from the opposite sex are considered pleasant for every woman. We love it when men give us gifts and compliments. But there are also situations when such attention becomes very intrusive.
How to get rid of an annoying boyfriend? How to react to gifts, courtship, signs of attention from a fan that you liked so much at first?
1. Deny him everything
Don’t try to hide behind kindness when you are overcome by a feeling of fear of refusal. The kindness instilled in girls from childhood is very often used shamelessly and brazenly by men.
Men may evaluate women's behavior inappropriately. Sometimes they believe that behind ordinary politeness there is a call for sexual entertainment.
An annoying boyfriend needs to immediately show what is for you it doesn't mean anything at all . It is very necessary to refuse correctly , without rude actions. Because it’s already difficult for him if he has sincere, real feelings for you. Therefore, try to smooth out phrases that are unpleasant for him as much as possible.
2. Friendship in exchange for love
It is very often effective friendship proposal method in exchange for a declaration of love.
For men, it immediately becomes clear that you are not at all interested in him as a sexual partner, and then he will be able to switch his attention to another girl.
3. Introduce him to his girlfriend
Another suitable option to get rid of an annoying admirer is his meeting your friend . Don’t tell her about your personal opinion about him, let them get to know each other themselves and form a personal opinion about each other. If a guy is really good, there is no need to throw such good things around left and right. Look around, most likely, among your friends (classmates, classmates, neighbors) there will be pretty, but ownerless young ladies who only do what they dream of a prince on a white horse. Arranging their acquaintance will not be difficult. Let your friend “accidentally” end up in the same restaurant as you. Or, for example, he rides a bicycle in a park area, where you spend time with him.
4. Let's go shopping together
The most effective way to get rid of an annoying fan is in your behavior.
Take it to supermarkets and boutiques. Such joint shopping You can drag it out for a long time so that the very procedure of going shopping with you is as painful as possible for the guy.
5. Show your emotions
You need to become extremely emotional girl . Express your disappointment or indignation at the slightest trifle, emotionally discuss people passing by. If a nail breaks, then you can throw a tantrum with sobs. A bad haircut or terrible weather is also a reason to get on the nerves of an annoying fan. Men are afraid of super emotional girls.
6. Be chatty!
It is necessary to develop talkativeness in yourself, which annoys everyone, especially males.
Tell your boyfriend in full detail about what has happened to you in the last few years. At the same time, do not let him say a word. As a result, your hours-long story may take on an obsessive form. This will very successfully push away an annoying boyfriend.
7. Become a naughty lady
Pretend to be capricious lady . Every time, make a wish that can certainly come true. As soon as you get what you wanted, tell the guy that this is no longer necessary for you, and present new whims. Men in such situations begin to feel like a mat on which you wiped your feet.
8. Be bolderchange your image!
If your boyfriend said that he is annoyed by some color in his clothes, be sure to buy yourself thing of this color . If your crush can't stand brightly colored blondes, lighten your hair color or buy a wig and wear bright makeup - men don't like that. The main thing here is not to overdo it, otherwise people around you may think something wrong.
9. Pinvite you to visit your mother
You can also call your boyfriend to visit mom . Her role can be played by a family friend or a respectable colleague. The main thing is the presence of acting skills. She should show your admirer all the delights of communicating with your future mother-in-law. And spouses can live with her. Therefore, he will most likely run away!
10. More criticism of him
To get rid of an annoying admirer, you need constantly criticize him – this can really hurt a man’s pride. Whatever he does, say that you don't like it and... Constantly impose your opinion on the guy and criticize the boyfriend’s words on every significant and insignificant issue. In general, show with all your appearance that his opinion does not matter to you.
Using the above tips, you can very quickly verify their incredible efficiency– Your annoying admirer will quickly run away, and for a long time will be afraid of ever meeting you again in his life.
All women enjoy being liked by others, being an object of admiration, and accepting signs of attention, be it politely holding the door or expensive gifts. However, sometimes completely unnecessary and untimely courtship comes into our lives, and most importantly, from the wrong person.
Who are we dealing with?
A man who wants to please a woman usually shows persistence to one degree or another, because he is a hunter, a conqueror. This behavior is due to nature; it has been supported and fueled by social and cultural norms for centuries. So, just a couple of hundred years ago it was simply indecent for a girl to accept a marriage proposal the first or even the second time. So the gentlemen had to take their lovers by storm more than once. However, in most cases, especially in our time, having not received what he expected, a man quickly loses interest and switches to another more supportive lady.
Particular zeal can be shown by a boyfriend who pursues a purely “sports” interest - to conquer a new peak, win another game, break the ice of another girl. There are those who really experience a huge range of emotions and experiences called falling in love or even love. However, only people of little intelligence or simply ill-mannered behave tactlessly and intrusively. An intelligent person, no matter how emotional he may be, will certainly see that his advances are unpleasant. He will try not to pester the object of his admiration any longer, or at least keep his attentions within the bounds of decency.
Since it is not always clear who is who, it is better to make it a rule to never lead anyone by the nose. If you are not interested in a man, the best thing to do would be to honestly and openly tell him about it. Don't give false hope, don't waste your time and respect other people's.
Minimum attention
If the gentleman is not in the mood to give up, then the only thing you can do is not to feed his passion: avoid communication, keep conversations to a minimum, and do not accept gifts. Usually there is no point in explaining that you have a boyfriend, fiancé, husband (real or fictional). Providing such information to an annoying boyfriend does not guarantee an easy and quick resolution of the situation. The presence of a rival often only adds fuel to the fire, even if your beloved man kicks this arrogant upstart.
Lovers are amazing manipulators! They will feign pity, feign illness, fake accidents, demonstrate suicidal behavior, telling you and others how unbearably painful their love experiences are. An overly enthusiastic man suffers from incredible mood swings and inconsistent actions.
Sometimes an annoying gentleman doesn’t care what emotions he stirs up - compassion, anger, grief - as long as you pay attention to him. In addition, if you are angry or upset, then this is an excellent reason for another attack on your personal living space. After all, now he simply has to make amends. Therefore, you just need to not give such a would-be suitor various kinds of “clues.”
No explanation needed
There is a formula that works well for such situations: when a woman wants to refuse, she says “no”; when a woman wants to be persuaded, she explains why not.
Typically, representatives of the fairer sex show more kindness and sympathy than men. Other people's suffering (even fictional ones) rarely leaves sensitive women's hearts indifferent. On this basis, I want to reason with the admirer, encourage him, support him with friendly advice, justify his refusal, in the hope that this will “cure” him. But a smart person will understand everything himself, and a stupid person’s arguments will only add enthusiasm. Don't explain why you don't want a relationship. A truly passionate person will most likely try to remove obstacles: quarrel with your boyfriend or husband, please your parents (even without your knowledge), change religion, build muscles, grow a beard, earn more money, or get a prestigious job.
For example, the frequent and harmless argument “I don’t have any time” is absolutely ineffective. By citing a busy schedule that supposedly interferes with your personal life, you risk dooming yourself to meetings during your lunch break or between classes. An understanding and caring admirer will bring you your favorite coffee and fresh buns, and will volunteer to meet you and accompany you home after finishing your daily routine. All this is very nice and pleases one’s vanity, but in reality it seriously interferes. You have to spend hours listening to other people's pleasantries, answering dozens of unnecessary phone calls and messages every day.
Attention from men is not always pleasant. Sometimes fans can be downright intrusive. If on your way you meet a man who is absolutely uninteresting to you, but is also very persistent, it will be useful to learn how to ward off such a suitor.
Rules of conduct with an obsessive boyfriend
All annoying fans, regardless of age, social status and level of education, behave approximately the same. As a rule, such admirers go beyond the scope of classical courtship without receiving the woman’s favorable disposition. Thus, they claim that they will commit suicide, ignore words of refusal, shower the object of their love with expensive gifts, and sometimes even stalk the woman. Sound familiar? All these are signs of a bothersome boyfriend who should be said goodbye to as soon as possible. Otherwise, his mania will go so far that you will not be able to cope with him alone.
It is very important from the very beginning to take the right position and behave correctly with such a gentleman. You can get rid of an annoying admirer only through methodical and consistent actions. You can’t first give a man hope for intimacy, and then be surprised that he doesn’t lag behind you.
- So, the first rule: repeat “no” over and over again and never say “maybe.” Sometimes men simply prefer not to hear a refusal, they take words that are convenient for them out of context and distort them so as to turn the situation in their direction. One “maybe” against the background of a thousand “no” sounds like “yes” to them. Be patient and confident in your decision. No means no.
- The second rule for dealing with an assertive gentleman: do not believe his threats. Some men say that they will commit suicide if refused, or die of boredom. Don't give in to provocations. Either teenagers with an unstable psyche or truly mentally ill people are capable of attempting suicide from unrequited love. The usual sympathy of one adult for another cannot lead to such tragic consequences.
- Third rule: do not accept gifts or any help from him. A man will regard any of these gestures as sympathy and a signal for further communication. Politely reject gifts and all offers from an obsessive boyfriend. And under no circumstances should you turn to him for help or advice. Having made it clear to a man at least once that you need him, you will never be able to dissuade him of this.
How to refuse correctly
You need to be able to refuse a boyfriend. It is not recommended to do this rudely - you don’t want to hurt an already suffering heart and be branded as an unprecedented boor? Saying an irrevocable “no” must be done very carefully. To get rid of an annoying admirer, you must be extremely polite, sincere and sensitive, but at the same time firm. Don't try to get away from an unpleasant conversation, hoping that everything will somehow be resolved on its own. Clench your will into a fist and clearly explain to the man in love that you cannot have a future together. Tell only the truth, even if it is bitter. Tell him directly that he is not your type, that you have someone else, that you do not want to commit yourself to a serious relationship. Whatever the reason, name it. The person who loves you, even if you don't need him, deserves to know the truth.
If a man turns out to be more persistent than you thought, and no decent measures help, you have one more option - to play. Find out what female character traits your admirer cannot stand, and be sure to show them the next time you meet. Be capricious, ask stupid questions, make fun of him in front of others. Just keep in mind that after such behavior, it is unlikely that anyone else who is among your mutual acquaintances will be interested in you.
How to act in critical situations
Unfortunately, it is not always possible to get rid of a boyfriend with simple conversations. There are men who, in pursuit of the object of their passion, are ready to do anything - up to persecution and even attack. In this case, take care of your own safety.
If a man calls you several times a day, although you asked him not to do this, bombards your mailbox with letters, keeps watch near your home, work and other places where you go, feel free to seek protection from law enforcement agencies. Do not hesitate to bother them about such a seemingly ridiculous reason. History knows cases when lovers and rejected men in a state of passion committed serious crimes.
When we get another fan, we have no idea what it might lead to. Maybe he will become our permanent boyfriend, or even husband, or maybe in a week or two we will simply break up... But sometimes everything can be much more dramatic, and the admirer turns into a stalker. How to identify this danger “in the bud”? ANDhow to protect yourself from it?
The first sign. "Love at first sight
If a guy showers you with compliments at the first meeting, this is in the order of things. But if he begins to confess his love to you, a girl he barely knows, and even makes some plans for a future together, for example, immediately offers to move in together and live together, this should alert you.
Most representatives of the stronger sex are cautious at the beginning of communication, fearing problems and unrequited feelings. If he goes ahead, then if something happens it will be difficult to get rid of him.
Sign two. He had a great love, but she rejected him
If he constantly talks about his former lover, whose feelings he persistently sought, but despite this, she did not want to be with him, “did not appreciate, did not understand,” then this is most likely for a reason.
Perhaps he was only thinking about his own desires, and not about the desires of his ex-girlfriend. Most likely, in the case of you, he will behave in exactly the same way.
Sign three. He constantly demands your attention
He calls you every now and then, bombards you with messages, writes to you via email and social networks every ten minutes. Psychologists say that if a man likes a woman, he usually gets in touch with her within the first 24 hours after meeting her.
But if you just broke up and he's already wondering if you miss him and has sent a hundred text messages, that's a warning sign.
By the way, if you do not answer letters, calls or messages, such a fan begins to get nervous, tries to get in touch with you, finds out what happened...
It is best to tell him that you are currently very busy and cannot communicate intensively. If, despite this, he continues to attack with calls and text messages, then it is better to stay away from such a suitor.
Sign four. He's trying to get pity
He threatens: “If you refuse to meet with me, I will get drunk (optionally, I will commit a crime or commit suicide).” Of course, you may think that this is a joke, but, as practice shows, such people’s promises often do not diverge from deeds and he can actually do something to force you to be with him.
An easier option is when a new acquaintance begins to burden you with his problems - he is sick, he has difficult family circumstances, troubles at work, and so on... Of course, he wants you to immediately rush to save him. This is just an attempt to manipulate you.
Sign five. He behaves aggressively
As soon as you don’t answer a call or SMS, are a little late for a date, or don’t show up at home on time, he starts a whole interrogation, trying to find out where and with whom you were. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been dating or whether there is any relationship between you at all.
Annoying fans are not at all as harmless as they seem at first glance. At a minimum, communicating with them will be uncomfortable for you, and at a maximum, you are risking your health and even your life, since a pathological personality can behave unpredictably.
How to get rid of such a pursuer before trouble happens?
First of all, ignore it. Trying to sort things out with him is a waste of time. No matter how much you tell him that he is not suitable for you, this will only inflame him even more...
You should also not ask one of your friends or relatives to talk to him - all this will mean that he is somehow present in your life. And some people just need suffering - it brings them pleasure.
At the beginning of communication with any potential gentleman, it is better to follow certain safety rules. Don't tell him where you live, study or work, what places you often visit - in any case, don't give exact addresses... If he knows where to find you, your life can turn into real hell.
If the above-described signs appear, add the “maniac’s” number to your phone’s blacklist or simply drop his calls. Block his email address so he can't write to you, and do the same on social networks.
If he does write to you - from other addresses and accounts, for example, do not respond under any circumstances. In the absence of feedback, he will most likely rush to search for a new victim and leave you alone.
