What does it mean when a guy has blocked you everywhere. What to do if you received a message from an ex-boyfriend? Is it worth blocking an ex?

Today, social networks are an endless source of information: about the past, about the present, about the future. Photos, statuses, tweets, likes and tags on photos. You can go unnoticed and at the same time closely monitor the lives of the people you are interested in.

Vkontakte and its Internet colleagues make a significant contribution to the relationship. But sometimes the relationship ends, and Vkontakte and Facebook still continue to work.

So to leave or not to leave friends with the former or the former? The verdict, in my opinion, is unequivocal - if you are concerned about this issue, then of course, No.

For those who doubt why, let's see what the consequences might be. From a psychological point of view.

Why would you want to leave them at all?

Did you know that about 70% of the young men and women surveyed in one study 1 continue to secretly monitor the statuses and likes of their exes? About 70%! It's not even half. And you may never know that you are being followed.

People monitor ex profiles for a variety of reasons: anxiety, jealousy, envy, depression, anger, longing and other negative emotions forced again and again to open His or Her page.

Many hope for the restoration of relations and because of this, they can see a certain hidden meaning, a secret message in the statuses and tweets.

Even if the profile is private, and its owner (or hostess) does not share anything particularly intimate, a profile photo and a list of friends, for example, can already say a lot. Some social networks allow you to see when a person was last online.

Half of those surveyed in the same study reported that they had searched social media for photos of their ex-partner being paired with a new person, or other evidence that they were in a new relationship. At the same time, those who are engaged in such surveillance of the former are convinced that this is a completely innocent and harmless activity 2 .

But really, is it really so harmless?

Consequences of surveillance: only negative

Globally, the more time you spend constantly spying on your ex, the less likely you are to quickly recover from a breakup and start a normal new relationship 3 . Regardless of whether you left your ex as a friend or not, the very fact of regularly monitoring his statuses, photos and posts is important.

👉 You are more likely to experience jealousy, anger, desire to possess and stress. At some point, you may find out that your ex has actually started a new relationship and seems to be enjoying it a lot! Then your experiences will become very strong.

👉 You spend less time on your actual here-and-now problems that require your attention.

👉 You are less involved in new relationships, which means that the likelihood of success is reduced.

👉 You still continue to spend your strength, energy and resources on the former and on his life. You can imagine it this way: you are still investing your last money in a bank that is about to fall apart, and you will not receive any interest, nor will you return your funds.

👉 Your new partner may notice that you still have not dotted all i: you comment, write statuses full of poison, visit the profile of the former, etc. Do you think it will benefit your new relationship or not?

👉 When you communicate with your ex live, it's unpleasant, you feel strong negative emotions, but you have feedback, you get at least some information and answers to your questions. By following them on social media, you have none of that. You speculate and remain one-on-one with your experiences. It is clear that there is nothing useful in the long term in this.

👉 This behavior can easily turn into an obsession. There may come a day when you cross the line of “just innocent surveillance” (although we already see that it is not so innocent) and then it will be difficult for you to get rid of addiction and anxiety.

The only possible benefit from spying on exes- is the probability that he or she at some point may post something that is too stupid or mundane, which will once again confirm the correctness for you decision about parting. But how long can you wait?

What to do next?

So, the conclusion is: it doesn’t matter if you formally remained on your friends list or not, constant monitoring of your ex (or ex) activity in social networks is what matters.

This can already negatively affect how quickly you recover and be able to move forward, how badly you will feel in the process of adapting to new conditions.

For some of us, the only way to stop following social media is to unfriend us. So do it right now: unfriend you on Facebook, Odnoklassniki, My World, Twitter, Instagram, in a word, everywhere.

• Remove all marks on photos and tags (tags).
• Delete everything joint photos from your phone and laptop (if this idea makes you very anxious, or you are used to storing everything in archives, then move the photos somewhere for storage so that they cannot easily catch your eye).
• Remove songs and playlists that remind you of this person.
• Block or remove your ex from messengers, Whatsapp, Viber, etc.
• Delete this person's contact from the address book, delete all his (her) emails.
• Tune in to the fact that you will gradually, but surely, be cleansed of past relationships.

Of course, there is no guarantee that you will immediately feel better, but there is a guarantee that you will have a little more time :) And you will remain free for the sake of your own health and future.

1 Lyndon, A., Bonds-Raacke, J., & Cratty, A. D. (2011). College students’ Facebook stalking of ex-partners. Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, Online First, DOI: 10.1089/cyber.2010.0588.
2 Bowe G. Reading romance: the impact Facebook rituals can have on a romantic relationship. Journal of Comparative Research in Anthropology and Sociology 2010; 1:61–77.
3 Marshall, T. (2012). Facebook surveillance of former romantic partners: Associations with postbreakup recovery and personal growth. Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, 15, 1-6

What to do if a girl ignores?
Hello! This is Irina. And today I will answer the question: what should I do if my girlfriend ignores me?
First, I would like to emphasize that this is not a tragedy. It's not "all gone!". This is not a reason to panic, which is what I always say. (In general, no situation is a reason to panic. There are no hopeless situations, there are exits that we do not like.)

Secondly, in the first step of my main course, it is clearly stated that after the letter that you write to her, you should wait.
Moreover, I understand that in your head the answer to your sentimental letter, which you prepared, tried, did, should be immediate. And it doesn’t matter if the girl is offended by you, does she want to take revenge, what are her feelings? You are waiting for an answer, right, today or tomorrow, or even immediately in a minute. This is not entirely correct.
You need to understand that a girl needs time, that she can survive it, live it. And perhaps it is worth learning to wait, as I said, and I say and I will say that the concept of time is different for all of us. And do not think, if she did not answer immediately, then there is no chance that everything was lost. This is wrong.
In addition, I have a special course "What to do if a girl ignores." I go over it step by step and talk about it in detail. If it's really that bad, if your palms are sweating and you're shaking, and you're really running on the ceiling, then you should take this special course. He's really helpful.
And it is especially useful for those who, after two or three days of waiting, think that it is impossible to return something.
The third point that I would like to voice, I will include in this question: “she blocked me everywhere.” VKontakte blocked, in Odnoklassniki - it doesn’t matter. This is the end!
Well, firstly, if you don’t feel anything for a person, then it’s quite obvious that you won’t block him anywhere. The saying “Out of sight, out of mind” was not invented by me. If a girl does this, then it is quite obvious that she still has feelings for you, and she is afraid of them. There is a fight going on. The struggle between ego and pride and between feelings.
If you don’t feel anything for a person, then you can easily meet him on the street, talk about the weather and you won’t need to delete him on all social networks, let alone block him. Well, just because it's unnecessary. So what am I talking about now? Blocking you on a social network is more a reason for joy than for grief.
And one more thing that I wanted to touch on, since we are talking about blocking and ignoring - most likely, she has a grudge and she wants to take revenge a little. Give her that time. But give this time not for revenge. No need to knock on her door, call and write, but give her time to go crazy. Because giving her a reason to tickle her ego is something I never recommend. But to give time to go crazy, if you see that a person is ignoring, it is quite appropriate to take a short pause.
And here is the most popular question: "If I put her on pause when she ignores me, she will find someone." Or "She has a new suitor, and she will be with him now." This is a very common MISTAKE! For some reason, you think, dear men, that if you tickle her ego, peck her SMS, call, knock on all social networks (despite the fact that she is taking revenge on you at that time), that this will somehow alienate her from other men. That it will somehow bring her closer to you. And that you are in such a simple way to control the situation.

It's an illusion! This is the same illusion as when we need to solve some problem, instead of sitting down and thinking about how, we start running around the ceiling. And it seems that we are doing something, but in fact we are not doing anything. That's the illusion to get rid of.
So I always cite as an example a student who remembered that he had an exam tomorrow, began frantically flipping through all the books, and began to read and read, not understanding absolutely what he was reading, just absorbing the letters. And with the top he goes to the exam: “I taught; I studied; I taught, ”then he pulls out a ticket, knows nothing and is surprised - after all, he taught! Here is the same situation. No need to think that if "I taught - I called - I wrote - I fingered her - I tickled her ego - I did not give her time" and that is why she will not be happy with another.
You don't have to think so. In fact, this is the biggest and most basic misconception!
Good luck. I believe that you will succeed. And I would like you to believe in yourself and in your strength.

See you on my course. Bye!
Irina Mirova.

What to do, if girl ignores you? main reason why a girl can block and ignore you is that she is just afraid that if she communicates with you, she will get into a relationship with you. And she is out of harm's way, like an alcoholic, for example, hides from herself, he wants to stop drinking, and asks that there be no alcohol at home. So her behavior is in a sense very reasonable for her in this moment. In this case, it just makes sense to continue to communicate with her. She hides, and you continue to communicate with her anyway, because this means that you are some kind of temptation for her. In this case, it makes sense to continue communication with her.

And there is another case, something that happens only in men in the head. So, the girl is specifically ignoring you, but why?. It may seem to you that she is doing so well that she blocked you, she has been with another man for a long time and she has a different life, and she blocked you so that you do not interfere with her. This is wrong. If she really is doing well in life, it makes no sense for her to block you. If this is not the first thing she has a strong negative for you and is trying to return it, to take revenge on you. And not the second, that she is simply afraid of you, then there are almost no other options here. The only third option, it’s only in men’s heads, that maybe she wants to portray it, she wants to get into this fantasy that everything is so good with me that I blocked you. But think for yourself, what kind of nonsense? Are you doing so well that you blocked your ex-girlfriend on VKontakte? If everything is fine with you, you will not block your ex-girlfriend on VKontakte, it will be strange. Therefore, you need to understand that if she is offended and this is her kind of revenge, she is trying to hurt you, then it makes sense to wait, get to another contact, and she will continue to take revenge on you, but verbally, because it is very difficult to keep this offense, aggression in itself. She needs to be returned, I really want, I want ... to annoy another person, that is, she will contact you herself or you can substitute yourself for this contact.

Secondly, this means that she may be afraid that you will communicate with her, and she will break loose, which means that everything is going well. You need to push a little, continue to communicate with her anyway. I suggest that any blocking and ignoring be ignored. But how to more accurately resolve such a situation, when a girl is specifically trying to ignore you for one or another reason, what exactly to say, specifically to direct it, I wrote a separate course for this, it also takes about an hour. There I tell you in detail what to do in this situation, how to work with her psychology and how to direct relationships in the right direction so that she stops getting angry, stops ignoring, stops reacting positively to you. Instead, she started playing more positive games with you, like falling for your flirtations. And gradually you can lead her to sexual contact in general.

Danila Delichev

Something reminded me of my own book "Internet Psychology" and I decided to publish an excerpt from it. It seems to be topical, it does not become obsolete, the topic is eternal :-)

As you understand from the title, the text is primarily addressed to the fair sex.

You must have broken up at least once in your life. You had a man, and now he's gone! If you have been talking to him for a long time, then, of course, you are used to him. We got used to his appearance, behavior (I almost said habits), to the daily routine, his attitude and other physical manifestations. But at one point, you, or maybe he, decided to disperse. You had long conversations, a showdown, maybe there was a swearing or, God forbid, a scandal. All this exhausts the nerves, girlfriends come to the rescue to discuss “how bad he is!”.

Sometimes it helps to make sure that he is really a villain. True, the pod-ruzhka in this case will not help. It is unlikely that she will convince you that he is so bad. In such a situation, mom can help with something, it all depends on her attitude towards this very thing. young man. And in something she can interfere if he did not like her. Even if she liked him, this may interfere with your decision. Here the principle works rather - solve your problems yourself, because no matter how social a woman is, no one will understand you except yourself.

So, you are at a crossroads. What should be done? A wonderful way is to take a piece of paper and a pen and write down all the pluses that were on the left, and all the minuses on the right. And simply, without embellishment and, most importantly, so that no one sees this, write down for yourself all the arguments “for” and “against” (burn after writing!). If you outweigh the positives, you may not want any parting, and what happened was a sudden impulse and a rash act. To break up, there should be no doubt that you do not need him. There should be more negatives! What are the ways to achieve the preponderance of the negative and look at the "problem" from the other side? Weigh what seems positive to you and think, is it really so?

This is where other people's examples can play a useful role, and you will find out that for someone what seems positive to you is not at all positive.

Of course, you have a diary on the Internet, or a page in social network, or e-mail, ICQ, Skype, etc. Men are amazing creatures and it rarely happens that he disappears completely and immediately, deciding for himself: “Do I need it?” Before and after making a decision, it is better to turn off the man from all means of communication so as not to confuse your thoughts. After all, if there was a conflict, then, probably, it was not from scratch.

How to do it? Block him on VKontakte, FB and other social networks, remove him from the list of friends (and it is better to remove all his friends and everything that can somehow remind of him). Think about it, maybe it's worth deleting all the joint photos so as not to “punch through” nostalgia?

Cruel? But is it possible to cut off a dog's tail piece by piece? Well, she doesn't have to suffer so much. If you cut off a little, maybe it will be easier for her (and you)? The ideal option is to delete all reminders, shared photo albums, block all phone numbers and Internet contacts. And you will understand that it has become easier. But there is a reverse option: constantly respond to his messages, look at his gifts and photos. This will only lead to the fact that you will be tossed between YES and NO. And for a woman, this is unacceptable. “I DON’T KNOW” is the worst answer! With this answer, take again a sheet of paper with the positive and negative aspects of your communication. If it turns out that NO, it is better to say NO to yourself. And if YES, then say YES to yourself - in any case, the unknown is the worst.

It should be understood that if you wanted children from this man, then your body “adapted” to this purely physically. You dreamed about the thought of children and made plans (maybe he didn’t know about it), most likely, this moment most of all influences the notorious DON’T KNOW. You say to yourself: “How can this be? I wanted children from him, but he…” Here, again, a sheet of paper with “for” and “against” will help. You will be surprised: “And I wanted children from him? He doesn’t deserve it, I was wrong, I deserve better!” Then what upsets you? Absolutely no! To summarize, weigh everything YES / NO / DON'T KNOW! Determine YES or NO simply by the parameters. If NO, turn off all contacts and delete all shared photos and any reminders. If YES, go ahead and try to rectify the situation. If I DON'T KNOW - try not to have this DON'T KNOW. You told yourself NO! Hooray - congratulations, because if you said YES to yourself, then talking about a cure for ex-men becomes irrelevant. Now answer this question. Can you be alone for a while, or is loneliness scary for you? This could take a long time! It would be logical to take a break and not rush "in all serious" (I'm not at all about what you thought ☺). But you can also have fun: go somewhere. This, however, is addictive, but it’s not for me to decide ... If the separation occurred on his initiative, you need to raise your self-esteem. For example, register on a dating site. But you should always remember that along with raising your self-esteem, you can also get negative there. And if, again, there is more of this negativity, is it worth being there? It’s unlikely to find someone right away, but miracles do happen. Stumbling into new failures, you should not be upset. After all, only you know what kind of man you need.

In no case should you impose the features of an “old man” on others - you will never find anything like it, and if you don’t find it, you will only be even more upset. You have to accept a man for who he is. Any memories of the former with a man will either make him despondent or furious and cause conflicts that cause only disappointment. Suppose you come across an “understanding” man. But it is worth limiting any memories of another man with him, otherwise it will cause a habit and will continue to cause negativity in a man, even if he is completely understanding

In any case, it is worth remembering that absolutely everything in life passes, and even if you cannot cope with the current problem in life, it is only a matter of time before you cope with it.

Most the best medicine this is a "shift" of attention to anything, to an occupation, to relatives, but better to another man. Even if temporarily.

Many guys don't know what to do if a girl ignores, doesn't respond to messages, doesn't pick up the phone, and doesn't call herself. There are many reasons for this, we will analyze only the most basic reasons why a girl ignores you.

It is also important to know what to do when your girlfriend started to ignore you, what are the tips and techniques to prevent this and return the old love and relationship. You can easily fix everything and improve your personal life if you carefully read this article “Why a girl ignores you” and put the tips into practice.

So, let's analyze the situation when a girl does not want to communicate with you and avoids and ignores you in every possible way.

The reason for this behavior may be unwillingness to enter into a relationship with you or just a closer connection. In this case, the girl can be compared, for example, with an alcoholic who is trying in every possible way to stop drinking, and therefore does not want alcohol to be present in his house.

In principle, such behavior for the girl herself is correct and quite reasonable, because in this way, perhaps, she trying to make you fall in love or somehow more interested, but not rejected. And this only means that you should not give up, because if she does not say in person that she does not want to keep in touch with you at all, then it would be more logical to continue communicating with her and gradually approach the next stage in the development of relations .

Also, sometimes the whole essence of the problem lies precisely in male head. Let's say ex girlfriend ignores you, moreover, it seems to you that everything is fine in her personal life, which means that you are immediately visited by thoughts that she has long had a new young man. Especially often a man thinks so if a girl, for example, has blocked him on a social network. We hasten to inform you that in such a situation, these are just your guesses, which are often incorrect. Judge for yourself: if everything got better in your life after breaking up with a girl, then what's the point of blocking her? That's right, it makes no sense! The same happens with girls.

Her attitude towards you can only be explained by the fact that she trying to hurt you so that you at least think a little about the fact that you can completely lose it. And if you are reading this article, it means that you, on the contrary, want to return it, right? Therefore, in this case, you just need to wait a while until her aggression towards you decreases somewhat, and then gradually resume relations. In addition, if a girl wants this, she will certainly go to meet you.

You should also not forget that if you offended a girl with something, then perhaps she just waiting for you to take the first step towards reconciliation. After all, you must admit that if the fault of parting lies entirely with you, then the apology should be on your part, and not on her.

If you do not know what to do when a girl ignores, then just take care of yourself, why waste time on those girls who are not interested in you. Mind your own business, then there will be that girl who herself will be interested in you. The main thing is not to be disappointed in girls, they are all different and you just need to listen to your soul, not emotions

And now the last, and perhaps the most important tip. If the girl has already definitely decided that she will not continue the relationship with you, and there are good reasons for that, then for the man in this case there is only one way out - fall out of love. Yes, even if it is not easy and hard, but still you should not torture yourself in the hope that everything will work out. She made her choice, which means you need to gradually come to terms with it and start living from scratch. To torment yourself in an attempt to return your beloved is not the most the best option. Therefore, just put yourself in order, tune in to good thoughts and go ahead in search of your one and only!

Appreciate life and your precious time, do not waste it on those who do not need you, as you will not have time for those who really care about and need you. Appreciate those who are close to you, love and respect them, do not lose the ability to be kind to people, continue to meet girls and do not be afraid to fall in love, this is very pleasant and interesting.

If a girl ignores - a different vision of the problem - the opinion of a pick-up artist

Not all guys can easily endure ignoring a girl. Only experienced seducers who have met more than a dozen rejections can continue to act with the same confidence and further, showing perseverance towards this or other girls. Such immunity does not develop in one month.

But on the other hand, we can influence the very reasons for ignoring, and also begin to behave more attractively in order to arouse her interest. Now I will tell you what to do if a girl ignores.

But first of all, I would like to make sure that you are aware of your mistakes (which led to such a "result").

Why girls ignore guys

The main (and only) reason girls ignore is lack of interest.

Beautiful myths about great male perseverance, in which a man seeks a girl for years, and then they "live happily ever after", have long been dispelled. And those who continue to believe this are just wasting their time.

You need to understand that if there is no interest at the very beginning, then you are to blame for this, and not a small number of dates or her mood. And perseverance has nothing to do with it either.

Usually unattractive behavior of guys looks like this:

• When they meet, they behave unattractively. Seeing a lack of interest, they show persistence, which often develops into neediness in the style of "Well, give me a number!". Of course, few people say this, but the general mental message has just such an essence.
• Immediately after meeting, they show uncertainty. For example, they write: “It was nice to meet you. Vasya" - by giving their name at the end, they show the uncertainty that she remembered them. Or to the question “who is this?”, They simply answer with the name: “Vasya”. This is also not the best move - it would be more interesting if they wrote, for example: “ best guy in your life".
• When a girl loses interest (and she is guaranteed to start losing it because of the mistakes they make), they show neediness and insecurity even more, flooding her with text messages and calls. They also flicker before her eyes, try to catch her eye, and so on. This leads to the final loss of attraction.
• If they have some kind of relationship with a girl, and they make mistakes, then this leads to betrayal, the phrases “let's remain friends” and even greater indifference.

What to do if a girl ignores

First of all, you need to understand what your mistakes were. From the above list, was there something that was present in your behavior too? Or maybe there was nothing from this list, but you still intuitively felt that you made similar mistakes somewhere?

If you manage to overcome her ignorance by applying some technique, then this will not change much: leaving the roots of the problems with you, you will soon again face a loss of attraction and another period called "total ignore".

Correcting your own mistakes every time - is this a relationship? Hardly.

It is much more effective to immediately correct the flaws in the behavior that prevent you from starting to seduce normally. In some cases, it makes no sense to focus on one girl (with whom you have not even had a relationship), but it is better to switch to others, developing your skills.

Remember this!

However, I will still tell you about the methods of resisting ignoring.

What to do if a girl ignores: 3 steps

Method number 1. Counter ignoring

Works on the principle "I don't care!". :)
If you understand that she has lost interest in you, although you yourself are confident in your kindness, sensitivity, sense of humor and other useful qualities, then you begin to behave in the same way as she does.

She walks by and does not say hello, pretending not to notice you? Do the same and you too! Passing by her, do not say hello, and pretend that she is not there at all (look not at her, but in another place straight ahead).

For the first time, she just thinks. In the second, he will begin to worry and doubt his own attractiveness. In the third, she will understand that she was behaving incorrectly and will try to do something to get your attention.

An important point: if she starts to say hello herself, then it is advisable for you to just say hello with a little feigned friendliness (!) And move on.

Because in 95% of cases, the first actions of a girl are just a test of how much you are “introduced” to external circumstances and are able to “keep up the mark”.

Works almost always. But it works especially well when at the very beginning the girl communicated with you normally, and only then began to ignore.

The method is based on the so-called "swing", when in one period of time you treat her well, take the initiative, make you laugh, and so on. And in the other, you behave very coldly (as if she is your friend who tries to borrow money from you every day :)), you do not initiate communication and respond without enthusiasm to her attempts to start it.

What I mean?

In general, “closer-further” is a natural female strategy, thanks to which they manage to tie guys to themselves and send them to an alternate airfield. And they have their own idea of ​​when to do "closer", and when - "further" (in relation to you, of course).

It will be better if you do “further” when, according to its logic, it should be “closer”. When she realizes that the time for “next” has not yet come, but you are acting indifferent, then she begins to think. Think long and painfully, trying to understand what is the reason.

This is in your hands with us. ;)

However, at the very beginning, you still have to do “next” precisely in response to ignoring it. And only then, when interest returns a little, will you start playing your game.

Method number 3. Friendly banter

It can be used both at the very beginning (ignoring during or after dating), and during dates.

It works to increase your attractiveness (a guy who can easily make fun of a girl is considered confident, choosing, and also charming).

You can joke about anything: starting with her appearance (you can invent non-existent flaws: “Your nose moves so cool when you talk! Look - again! :)”), ending with behavior.

The main thing in banter is your confidence that you have the right to joke with her. If you do not have this confidence, then it is better to use the two previous methods. Otherwise, she will perceive this as a pathetic attempt to get her attention.

These simple 3 tricks almost always work. But remember: it is pointless to do something if the girl ignores, until you understand what real attraction means and how it is formed. Otherwise, you will always be ignored and correct your own mistakes.