How to tell a friend about love. What to do if you love a friend? nice words for husband
We've known each other for two years. We have warm friendly relations. Recently I realized that I love. Now I'm at a loss: is it possible, "for no apparent reason", to say this to a person who has been "just a friend" to me all this time? It is difficult to defeat the stereotype "the initiative comes from the man", and besides, I am afraid that friendship will suffer from this. Silence, perhaps, will lead to regrets ... A friend says: "Everything is written on your face! If he wanted to change something in your relationship, he would start a conversation himself. Apparently, you suit him only as a friend." I don't want to be naive, but what if he, like me, is just afraid of destroying the friendship? (Nadezhda, Chita, 25 years old)
Hope, Chita, 25 years old / 20.12.05
Opinions of our experts
ALYONA:
And your girlfriend, for an hour, has no views of your friend? Painfully harmful thoughts she inspires you. Maybe she can see what is written on your forehead, but you just don’t need to equate female observation with the amazing male ability not to notice even the most obvious things. There should not be a dilemma "To say or not to say?" Here it is necessary to solve the question "How to say?". I understand your fear of losing a friend by scaring him away with your confession. So, you need to show imagination, and tell him about it so that this does not happen. Actually, our rubric is not for giving practical advice. And for the exchange of views. However, I will offer one idea. Suddenly it will come in handy. ahead New Year. With whom will you and he meet him? If he is relatively free, ask him to keep you company. For example, with the words that it is customary to celebrate the New Year with people who are dear to you. Ideally, this should be a loved one. But, alas, it so happened that you do not have a person who loves you (underline this). But you do have a true friend whom you love (here this word "love" will not be too straightforward). And since there is such a sign - as you meet the New Year, so you will spend it, then you would be glad to spend it with him. But if he has more tempting offers in mind, then, of course, you will understand him ... If he refuses, consider that he really has nothing for you, or is not yet ripe. But at the same time, you will not stun him with your confession, because. an invitation to celebrate the New Year in the company of a friend whom you value and love (because in this case the word "love" can mean "love like a friend") - this is not yet a declaration of love. Well, if you can’t celebrate the New Year together for objective reasons, find another way to check his true attitude towards you. For example, in a semi-joking way, ask him to help you find a guy, but one that looks like him. "I'm a lonely girl, and I'm tired of being alone. But with a friend like you, I became very picky about men. So, one hope is that maybe you have a friend, or cousin who would look like you?" Of course, such things need to be said out of the blue, and not all of a sudden. This is all, of course, at the level of improvisation ... But we are women, and women are cunning in our blood. So, just use Don't listen to your girlfriend, she's just jealous of you.
SERGEY:
Girlfriend is talking nonsense. Very few guys can make the first move or start a relationship conversation on their own. After all, this implies that you can get a refusal, that is, a severe blow to conceit, which, as you yourself understand, is not the most desirable event for a guy. And if so, then many are silent until victorious and decide to tell the truth after many years, when everything has already burned out, families, children. But who knows if it was not a mistake? In general, of course, I am for all men, as in fairy tales or melodramas, to be smart, courageous, decisive, wise, etc., but this does not happen in life. If you understand that your feelings have become more than friendly, then say so about it. In any case, than to suffer from ignorance and suffer from innuendo, it is better to find out everything once and for all. Stop talking to him for a while. And when he, intrigued, decides to figure out what is happening, tell him everything. But not in the forehead, but streamlined. It is not necessary to declare right from the threshold: "I love you, let's get married." Better say that he has become dearer to you than just a friend, and you would not want the situation to go even further. That you stopped communicating in order to understand yourself, to think, and also, so as not to complicate the life of a dear person who, unfortunately, does not experience reciprocal feelings. In general, shift the responsibility for subsequent communication to him. There is no doubt that he will be flattered by your feelings. But what conclusions he draws - you'll see. If he himself felt something similar - now without fear of being rejected, he will open. If he gets scared and stops communicating, then so be it. But in this case, it is better if you find out about it as early as possible. After all, you can’t be “just a friend” anyway. So why pull? Good luck.
Svetlana:
And your girlfriend, for an hour, has no views of your friend? Painfully harmful thoughts she inspires you. Maybe she can see what is written on your forehead, but you just don’t need to equate female observation with the amazing male ability not to notice even the most obvious things. There should not be a dilemma "To say or not to say?" Here it is necessary to solve the question "How to say?". I understand your fear of losing a friend by scaring him away with your confession. So, you need to show imagination, and tell him about it so that this does not happen. In fact, our rubric is not for giving practical advice. And for the exchange of views. However, I will offer one idea. Suddenly it will come in handy. Ahead of the New Year. With whom will you and he meet him? If he is relatively free, ask him to keep you company. For example, with the words that it is customary to celebrate the New Year with people who are dear to you. Ideally, this should be a loved one. But, alas, it so happened that you do not have a person who loves you (underline this). But on the other hand, you have a real friend whom you love (here this word "love" will not be too straightforward). And since there is such a sign - as you meet the New Year, so you will spend it, then you would be glad to spend it with him. But if he has more tempting offers in mind, then, of course, you will understand him ... If he refuses, consider that he really has nothing for you, or is not yet ripe. But at the same time, you will not stun him with your confession, because. an invitation to celebrate the New Year in the company of a friend whom you value and love (because in this case the word "love" can mean "love like a friend") - this is not yet a declaration of love. Well, if you can’t celebrate the New Year together for objective reasons, find another way to check his true attitude towards you. For example, in a semi-joking way, ask him to help you find a guy, but one that looks like him. "I'm a lonely girl, and I'm tired of loneliness. But with a friend like you, I became very picky about men. So, one hope is that maybe you have a friend, or a cousin who would be looks like you?" Of course, such things need to be said to the place, and not suddenly. This is all, of course, at the level of improvisation ... But we are women, and women are cunning in our blood. So, just use your natural gift. Don't listen to your friend. She's just jealous of you.Alexander:
Girlfriend is talking nonsense. Very few guys can make the first move or start a relationship conversation on their own. After all, this implies that you can get a refusal, that is, a severe blow to conceit, which, as you yourself understand, is not the most desirable event for a guy. And if so, then many are silent until victorious and decide to tell the truth after many years, when everything has already burned out, families, children. But who knows if it was not a mistake? In general, of course, I am for all men, as in fairy tales or melodramas, to be smart, courageous, decisive, wise, etc., but this does not happen in life. If you understand that your feelings have become more than friendly, then say so about it. In any case, than to suffer from ignorance and suffer from innuendo, it is better to find out everything once and for all. Stop talking to him for a while. And when he, intrigued, decides to figure out what is happening, tell him everything. But not in the forehead, but streamlined. It is not necessary to declare right from the threshold: "I love you, let's get married." Better say that he has become dearer to you than just a friend, and you would not want the situation to go even further. That you stopped communicating in order to understand yourself, to think, and also, so as not to complicate the life of a dear person who, unfortunately, does not experience reciprocal feelings. In general, shift the responsibility for subsequent communication to him. There is no doubt that he will be flattered by your feelings. But what conclusions he draws - you'll see. If he himself felt something similar - now without fear of being rejected, he will open. If he gets scared and stops communicating, then so be it. But in this case, it is better if you find out about it as early as possible. After all, you can’t be “just a friend” anyway. So why pull? Good luck. To find the answer to your question, use the form -And the body, because when a person loves, albeit unrequited, only the most positive emotions live in his heart. But there comes a moment when you get bored with unrequited love, you want to touch a person, hug him and kiss him. This is where it comes up great amount questions girls ask. How can I tell him that I love him, what should I do to attract his attention? And in general, is it normal to confess your love first?
A bit of history
For modern girls it can be a problem when a guy needs to open up his feelings. And this is normal, because our society has been living under a patriarchal foundation for many centuries, when it is the man who occupies the dominant place in the family and society. Labor and social trends have changed somewhat today, and many new paths are open to women. But the sphere of personal life is undergoing changes quite difficult, very slowly and reluctantly transforming. Therefore, today public opinion still says that primacy in relationships is the lot of men. And it is very difficult for girls to cross this invisible threshold, which is often fraught with condemnation from others.
Straight and no frills
If a girl is worried about the question "how to tell him that I love him", you just have to dare and say everything to your beloved in the eyes. There can be many situations for this, but the main thing is that the couple is left alone. It can be at a disco, socializing at recess, or going home together. It is necessary to start a conversation on a topic not far from love and smoothly go to the main phrase. You should be prepared for the fact that a guy can react differently to this, because such a phrase from a girlfriend, classmate or unfamiliar girl can be just a shock. You should not insist on an answer when the time comes, the guy will say everything.
How can I tell him that I love him? An easier, but no less effective way can be a message to your loved one. To do this, you can simply send the guy an SMS, write a letter or a short note. The main thing is to make sure that the written message gets to the addressee. So you can reveal all your feelings and not be afraid, as in live communication, that at the most important moment your voice will tremble or your hands will sweat. A great option could be Valentine's Day, when everyone sends valentine confessions to each other.
Telephone
How can I tell him that I love him? Another way for girls is to just call on the mobile and open their feelings. This is somewhat heavier than a written message, but much easier than live communication, since you can hide a share of excitement over the phone. In addition, there is no need to look a person in the eye, and this greatly facilitates communication. By calling a guy, you can start a conversation on distant topics and already smoothly move on to the main thing, or you can simply say directly: “I want to tell you“ I love you ”. And wait for a reaction from the interlocutor.
Responses
What can you expect from a guy who got an unexpected confession? At first, everyone will have the same reaction - shock, then events can develop in different ways. There are three main situations. The first is when a guy does not like a girl, and he does not intend to start any relationship with her. The second - the guy likes the girl, but he is not sure that he wants to start dating right away. Here, a temporary friendship would be an excellent way out, so that young people can take a closer look at each other. The third option, the most anticipated by the girls, is that the guy experiences the same feelings, he simply did not dare to say so. But do not immediately press on young man and ask a hundred times: "Did I hear you wrong?" This can annoy a loved one and the phrase will immediately follow: "If you said" I love, "it means I love you, why are you pestering?"
Hello my good ones!
Let's help Masha today, who has this situation:
Advise!
I have a friend who we have been friends with since childhood.
He is very sweet, very cool, and I know almost everything about him!
But recently he started walking with my classmate and .... She doesn't seem to care about him!
I had a strange feeling similar to jealousy .... Of course I knew that he was
I am not indifferent to ... ... before.
Why was I such a fool!
Even my friends told me about it
But he did not dare to approach me
And I recently realized that I love him!
Behind him my classmates fall
Although some of his views I notice
He often visits me
and this summer he asked if I love him
but at that time I was listening to music and there was a song about love and I sang
and he looks like this and asks - is it true?
And I'm like - uh, I listened to music
And he is like - yes ... that is, nothing?
And I - is there anything?
And he is nothing
And I'm exactly
AND …. I didn't want to ruin our friendship
although it was always interesting ... what would happen if at least one of us had the courage
but what should I do?
Mash, I think that you first need to decide: do you really love him or did a sense of ownership awaken in you and you began to be jealous of him? It is very difficult to answer this question, but without it in any way. Think about what you want more: for him to be your boyfriend or for him NOT to date other girls?
If jealousy wins, then it is better to leave everything as it is. It is unlikely that you will succeed. Yes, you can achieve it, but you will quickly lose interest. You just didn't want him to be with someone else.
If your feelings for him are sincere and you truly love him, then start acting:
- Make sure he likes you. Yes, he loved you, but this does not mean that he is in love with you now. See how he treats you and his girlfriend. He behaves emphatically in a friendly way, or he cares about you and behaves as before (when you were told that he loves you). By the way, if your friends said that he likes you, you can ask them now. Confidence that he loves you will help you to be more confident in yourself and decide on my 3 advice (see below)
- Flirt a little with him(I wrote how to do this in the article "") and look at his reaction. Perhaps even hint that you like him (not necessarily with words, you can show it with gestures, looks, etc.). These actions can push him to take a decisive step :).
- Talk to him about your feelings. Yes, it is very difficult and it is not easy to decide on it. But it is this conversation that will help put everything in its place. But before you do this, be sure to decide for yourself what is more important to you: your friendship or your feelings for him. After all, there will be no turning back and your friendship may end there!
And what can you advise Masha?
