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Is it easy to be a true friend. Who is a True Friend? Which friends should be avoided

Friendship is one of the most beautiful forms of human relationships. People close to you in spirit make your life more interesting, fuller. They will come to the rescue in difficult times or give good advice.

However, among the people whom you consider your friends, there may be persons who are not entirely sincere and honest towards you. Such individuals use others for their own purposes. In addition, you yourself may be mistaken about how close your relationship with this or that person is.

To understand the situation, first of all you need to define "friendship" for yourself. Think about what you expect from people close to you. Pick a few qualities that real friends should have. Try to describe the relationship that exists between friends.

Friend list

Now see if the reality around you matches your idea of friendship. If among your acquaintances there is a person whose portrait fits the description of a friend, analyze your relationship with him.

Remember if this person supported you in a difficult or incomprehensible situation, whether he stood on your side if necessary. Think about how much this individual is interested in you, asking about what is happening in your life.

Figure out if you share your innermost thoughts with your friend, if you share any ideas with each other. People who don't have any common ground at all are unlikely to be friends. So think about whether you have common hobbies, interests, tastes, goals or principles.

A true friend

Remember that a true friend will not criticize you just like that. They deliberately try to lower the self-esteem of others and, due to this, only individuals who are negatively disposed towards you assert themselves.

At the same time, a true comrade will frankly answer your question regarding your new hairstyle or clothes. If you are interested in his opinion, be sure: he will not lie. You can rely on such a person. After all, a real friend appreciates truthfulness in a relationship quite highly.

Determine how interesting you are together, how often you see each other. Without maintaining a relationship, people can move away from each other. And then yesterday's friend becomes just an acquaintance.

Consider if there were times when your friend neglected your company for the sake of someone else. There is a separate category of people who keep so-called friends in reserve. And if something more interesting turns up for them, they throw their comrades without a twinge of conscience. Stay away from such manipulators if you don't want to be taken advantage of.

Those who can support you in difficult times, share joy and bitterness?

How to choose the right friends?

First you need to understand your surroundings. You must have many friends. Select among them those with whom you really enjoy talking. Pay attention to personal qualities: kindness, respect for elders, culture of behavior and others that are important to you.

Common interests are the key to strong friendship. True friends will always find topics to talk about, but at the initial stage, you should have something in common that will interest both of you.

You should not choose friends based on external factors. Financial position, status, physical shell are absolutely not important when choosing a friend. The soul is what plays an important role. You must see a reflection of yourself in a person, feel it.

What does true friend mean?

Lack of friends leads to loneliness, deep depression, and further health problems. Being a true friend is hard work. It is not enough just to sit at the same desk, attend lectures and spend free time together. Psychologists managed to identify some laws of friendship:

What kind of friends should be avoided?

Often life shows that the best friend is a true friend. This is a reliable support and support in life. Everyone has the right to choose friends at their discretion, but still there are some tips voiced by experts from the field of psychology. Beware:

For everyone, the answer to the question of what a true friend means sounds different. But hardly anyone wants to have a person nearby who will cause only trouble, rejoice at your defeats. Such people not only do not deserve to be called friends, but the title of friend is not for them.

Do opposites attract?

Many are interested in the question of whether there is friendship between the opposite sex or is it a myth. Yet psychologists agree that such real friends are more attracted sexually than emotionally.

A man is a representative of the stronger sex, a woman always seeks protection in him and subconsciously sees him as the head of her family. Therefore, such friendship often goes beyond and develops into a love relationship. It has been proven that heterosexual friendship mainly occurs when one of the partners already has feelings that he carefully tries to hide.

Emotionally, a man is very different from a woman. For him, the representative of the weaker sex is prey. Sometimes the friends themselves are not aware of the surging feelings, but everything turns out unexpectedly, against the backdrop of jealousy.

Of course, there are also exceptions. Sometimes such friendship withstands all obstacles, distances and becomes only stronger from this.

If in life you were lucky enough to meet people who are ready to support you in any situation, who share sorrows and joys with you, you should know that these are real friends who need to be valued and cherished.

We deal with friendship throughout our lives. Since childhood, we spend time with those whom we consider friends. Are they really friends? In childhood, we consider everyone with whom we communicate as comrades, but as we grow older, they become less and less. Why is this happening? Friends - what kind of people are they? Why do they play such an important role in our lives?

What are friends?

Unfortunately, the modern world dictates rules regarding not only behavior in society, but also communication with the closest people. But are we really surrounded by faces worthy of being called true friends?

Friends are those with whom we share our joys and sorrows, ups and downs. These are those who know a lot about us, but do not tell anyone.

Friends are people who are close to us not because of, but because of friendship. We call comrades those whom we trust and with whom we feel comfortable. These are those who will not quit in difficult times and, in spite of everything, will be there.

Main types

There are several such types, so let's determine which one your friend belongs to.

Look around and see what type your best friend is.

How to identify a real friend?

Best friends are those people who have the following qualities:

Holiday

Friendship was the reason for the creation of an international holiday. Friends Day is a great occasion to remind loved ones of their importance in our lives. Of course, the date is unofficial, and few people know about it, but perhaps the situation will soon change for the better.

Friends Day is celebrated on June 9th. Do not forget to congratulate your close comrades on this day. Even though the festival is unofficial for now, it is an occasion to please each other once again.

Now you know how to distinguish it from the whole mass of friends. Just remember that there are never many friends, or rather, it happens, but whether they are all real is a question. It is very difficult for one to go through life, so it is important that comrades be present in it. They will always support and help you if needed. If you have a person who has all of the above qualities, he is your best friend and communicates with you not for his own benefit. Appreciate it and cherish it.

Hello dear readers of my blog! The topic of friendship is as old as the world. Sometimes we wonder - how to check a friend for friendship? Who will really always be there? A close and dear person nearby can greatly help in a difficult situation. How not to lose a true friend and recognize a snake warmed in the heart?

Interrogation with predilection

The first thing you should think about is who do you call a true friend? What is for you. There are people for whom it will be enough just to be sure that you can call at any time. Others are waiting for obedience. Everyone finds people for certain purposes. Why do you need a friend?

How do you distinguish acquaintances, friends, buddies? Is there anything in common between them? What do you value in people? How does an acquaintance become a friend? And then a friend? Or do you immediately find a person who from the first meeting becomes the closest and dearest?

Realizing that there is friendship for you, you appreciate in people, you, and who is just another acquaintance who will not rush after you into a fiery flame.

Deal with this issue for yourself, before proceeding to some kind of active actions and checks.

life situations

Before you look for ways to check your friend, think about whether you really need it. Remember that life itself throws up different stories, in which people manifest themselves from different sides.

They say a friend in need is a friend. But I can tell you that in addition to trouble, loved ones are tested by happiness. A friend of mine was a completely ordinary person, worked in an office for eight hours, drove a car on credit, and had a couple of three friends. One fine day, he wrote an application for the phone and after a while he became a fairly wealthy person.

So here are his so-called, to joke with him and express their disdain in every possible way. It all started happening because of their envy. They failed to achieve what my friend came to. And envy of success ruined their friendship.

You don't have to come up with any tests and checks yourself. This can only spoil the relationship with a really good person. This approach shows you, and relationships cannot be good until people trust each other.

Watch your friends in life, if you have suspicions, just wait, and fate itself will show you the true face of your surroundings.

Who am I?

Think about yourself. Start analyzing your own qualities. Would you call yourself a good friend? After all, if you are not such a person, then how can you find loyal and decent people in your environment?

When you yourself can be a friend, ready, attentively listening to the problems of others - then you can safely count on a similar attitude towards yourself.

You should stop looking for flaws in your friends. Don't think about what hasn't happened yet. Why don't you trust your friends? Maybe it's really about you? Are you ready to give more than take?

Remember that you attract people to yourself. And the environment that you now have is your doing. Checking today's friend won't help you avoid running into an unholy friend next time.

Remember that trust is very important in friendship. You can only ruin a good relationship with your checks. Be a good friend yourself and then you will be surrounded by kind and sincere people. I offer a book to help. "About tasty and healthy relationships" which will teach you to surround yourself with good people and tell you how to protect yourself from unhealthy relationships.

Remember that friendship is a mutual process. You yourself have to work hard to achieve a complete understanding with another person. Friendship is not just a fun and enjoyable pastime. This is support, care, respect and much more. Appreciate the people you can call friends.

To understand the situation, first of all, you need to determine for yourself the very meaning of the word “friendship”. Think about what you expect from people close to you. Pick a few qualities that real friends should have. Try to describe the relationship that exists between friends.

Friend list

Now see if the reality around you matches your idea of friendship. If among your acquaintances there is a person whose portrait fits the description of a friend, analyze your relationship with him.

A true friend

Talking to students

"Is it easy to be a true friend"

Equipment: stickers, ball (or some other item)

1. Acquaintance

energizer- Exercise "What I love to do and what I would like to learn"

“You have been studying together at school for a long time. Each of you - interesting person, an interesting personality, everyone contributes to the affairs of the class, to intra-class relationships. As you pass the ball (or any other object such as a pen) to each other, state your name and tell us a little about what each of you likes to do and what you are best at. And say the same about what you would like to learn. (this must be done very quickly).

2. Exit to the problem. Today we will talk about how easy it is to be a true friend.

Tell me, what do you think is the most important word in the title of our conversation?

Children should highlight the words "friend" and "real" (or friendship, real).

Friend, comrade, buddy - are these words the same in meaning? (children's answers). How is your friend different from those whom we call friends, comrades? (children's answers). It is known that friends can be permanent or temporary. Temporary friends we call pals.

Let's emphasize the word "real". If there is a real friend, then there is a fake one. So who can we call a true friend? Tell me, how many of you have such a friend about whom you can say: "This is my real friend"? I see you have your hands up. And who can answer my question, by what signs do you determine what exists between you real friendship?

Exercise"My real friend."

One girl shared with me that she has no real friends. Let's help her find a true friend. You probably know that newspapers often publish ads under the heading "I want to meet you." Let's guys help this girl and make an announcement on her behalf "I'm looking for a true friend."

Students are invited in groups (or each individually) to write on stickers the qualities that a friend needs. While the children are writing, it is necessary to draw a silhouette of a little man on the board, on which the stickers will be glued. Get a kind of portrait of a true friend.

Joint discussion of the results, it is important to draw the attention of children to those qualities that are necessary for true friendship - indifference to each other, willingness to take part in each other's fate, devotion, mutual understanding, willingness to sacrifice something for the sake of a friend, etc.

Now let's discuss this situation. Imagine that two guys study at a certain school, let's call them Vanya and Tanya. They are considered true friends. But what an unfortunate event happened. Vanya really liked the model of the car that Tolya's classmate brought to school. At recess, while all the children were having breakfast, without permission, Vanya put this typewriter in his briefcase. Only Tanya saw it. Tolya discovered the loss and began to cry. The teacher saw this and asked the children to return the typewriter. But everyone was silent, and Vanya was also silent. And then Tanya announced that Vanya had taken the car and that he needed to be punished.

What do you guys think - is this a friendly act? (Students express their attitude to the girl's act).

Now imagine yourself in Tanya's place and make suggestions why she did this and could she have done differently? Children make guesses.

What qualities of character would she have to show then? Do you think they are necessary for true friendship. And which of them is inherent in false, fake friendship? (In which case, refer to the diagram of a real friend). It is necessary to bring the children to the conclusion that it would be best if Tanya convinced Vanya to confess his act. Tanya had to help Vanya, her friend, to endure a difficult time, not to turn away from him. Lead the children to the conclusion that loyalty, devotion - necessary qualities for a true friend, but honesty is also a must between friends.

3. Summing up. You know that in every language there are many proverbs invented by people and accumulated over the centuries. These proverbs reflect the thoughts of people, their knowledge and feelings. There are proverbs dedicated to true friendship.

Game "Finish the proverb"(Can be done on request)

One for all and all for one
- old friend…. better than the new two
- Friend is known in trouble

Money can't buy friendship....

Look for no friend, but found ... .. take care

Friendship with an ax .... you won't break it.

4. Reflection.

And at the end of our conversation, I suggest that you make a sculpture dedicated to friendship, to show how you imagine friendship. And each of you will be a part of this sculpture.

The students go out and make a sculpture.

Pay attention, guys, how everyone represents friendship (holding hands).
Love your friends, take care of your friendship! And remember that a true friend will always understand and support if you need to make a difficult conclusion.

If you are wondering if your friend is real, then there is already a crack in the relationship. To understand why he's motivated to be friends with you, start by observing what he says and does, and how he makes you feel. Just follow this instruction - and you will soon find out the truth.

Steps

Part 1

Pay attention to what your friend says

See if your friend supports you. A true friend should help you feel needed, confident, and enjoy life. If a friend suppresses you, makes you consider yourself worthless, and it seems that you won’t get a kind word from him, even when you really need his support, then this is not your true friend. If you want to know if your friend is a good one, consider whether his comments are uplifting.

See if he compliments you. If a friend sincerely admires everything from your new clothes to your achievements at work, then this good friend. If you can't remember the last time you heard him praise you, you may be in trouble.
See if your friend tries to cheer you up. If he supports you before an exam, an interview, or even a first date, then he is a true friend. If you cannot count on his help, even when it is really needed, you may be in trouble.
See if your friend is rooting for you. A friend doesn't have to constantly cheer you up, but a good friend should be your biggest cheerleader and should help you succeed in whatever you do.

See if he listens to you. A good friend should take the time to listen to what you have to say. In a true friendship, both should share their thoughts and get a response. If you find that your friend is constantly talking about his own problems, but gets bored and distracted as soon as it's your turn, then you may have bad friend. Here are some signs that your friend is not good at listening:
See how a friend interacts with you. Communication plays a key role in any relationship, especially friendships. If you are on the same wavelength, then you should be sincere in your thoughts and feelings and maintain an open and honest dialogue. Here are a few ways to see if you and your friend are really interacting with each other:
- If you feel that you can freely share your thoughts and feelings with a friend, if your friend knows what is happening in your life, and you are comfortable talking honestly with him about it, then you really have a good relationship. If you're afraid to tell a friend about your true feelings because they might disapprove or get angry, then you're out of touch.
- If you think you know what your friend is thinking and feeling, then you have a close connection. If from time to time your friend surprises you with his statements or shares his feelings with anyone but you, then there are problems in your relationship.
- If you find it possible to have a serious conversation with your friend when it seems to you that he is behaving inappropriately, then you have a close connection. If you and your friend can calmly say, “I was really offended that you didn’t come to yesterday’s party,” and discuss it, then you have a strong friendship. Friendships can't be perfect, and it's important to clear up any misunderstandings from time to time.
- If you silently swallow hurt feelings from your friend because you think that he will overreact to your remarks or not pay attention to them, then there are problems in your relationship.
Consider if your friend is being honest with you. Honesty is one of the cornerstones of true friendship. If your friend is honest and open with you, then there is nothing to worry about. If he lies, it does not matter, in small things or in a big way, - about true friendship out of the question.
See if your friend gossips too much. If your so-called friend is still that gossip, then it is likely that in your absence he gossips about you. Of course, everyone loves to occasionally kick the bones of acquaintances, but if it seems to you that your friend constantly gossips and says nasty things about other people, then your “friend” may be doing the same behind your back. Here are some signs that your friend may be secretly spreading rumors about you:
- If your friend starts talking about someone as soon as that person turns away, then they are probably a bad friend.
- If your friend regularly talks about the people he calls his closest friends, then he might be talking about you too.
- If your friend constantly speaks badly about those who are not around, then this is a bad sign.
- If you know that your friend has been gossiping or saying mean things about you, especially if this has happened more than once, then this is not a real friend.
Part 2
Pay attention to what your friend is doing
1. See if he tries to make time to communicate with you. A true friend will make time for you no matter what. Of course, we live in a hurry and sometimes we don’t even have time to eat or sleep, let alone communicate with friends, but a true friend will always give you some time, especially if you really need it. Here's how to tell if your friend is really going out of their way to spend some time with you:
  - If a friend regularly arranges phone calls or meetings with you for lunch or dinner and always fulfills the promise, then you have a good friend.
  - If a friend seems at all does not give you time, constantly complains about the “frantic pace” of life and expects that you will adapt to his schedule every time, which means that there are problems in your relationship.
  - If your friend spends a lot of time with his significant other and his other friends, but not with you, then you are the last person he is interested in.
  - There may be a very stressful period in your friend's life, and that's okay. But if a friend is constantly too busy to meet with you, then, most likely, he just does not spend precious time with you.
2. See if your friendship is equal. In an ideal friendship, both put in an equal amount of effort to maintain the relationship, whether it be socializing, finding time to meet up, or just helping each other out in small or big ways on a daily basis. If you do everything possible for friendship, then your friend should also make reciprocal steps. Here's how to tell if you're both equally working on your friendship:
  - See if both of you show your affection for each other. Not everyone likes to hug, but if you hugged your friend, he should also hug you back and from time to time hug you on his own initiative.
  - If it seems to you that you support each other approximately equally, then you have a strong friendship. Although one of you may not be better times, in general, you should encourage each other in the same way. If it seems to you that you are constantly making efforts to brighten up your friend's life, but you are not getting anything in return, then there are problems in your relationship.
  - If you both help each other equally, then you have a true friendship. Perhaps you were taking notes for your friend when he broke his arm, and he, in gratitude, treated you to dinner, invited you to the movies, or got tickets to a concert of your favorite band. Whatever you do for your friend, make sure they help you too.
  - If you both care about meeting more often, talking on the phone, and generally being together, then you have a real friendship. If it seems to you that you are the first to propose a meeting and call, and a friend never takes the initiative to meet with you, then there are problems in your relationship.
3. See if your friend sticks to his word. An unreliable person cannot be a good friend. If your friend never fulfills his promise, sets you up, or completely forgets about your joint plans, then you cannot rely on him. Of course, everyone makes mistakes from time to time, but if your friend never does what he says, then he does not value your time and your company. Here's how to know if your friend is an untrustworthy person:
  - If your friend often lets you down, it means that he is an unreliable person, and it is better not to deal with him.
  - If you constantly feel that your friend is irresponsible and does not make an effort to keep his promises, then he is an unreliable person.
  - If your friend constantly lets you down, even in things that are important to you, then you have a problem. If he is in last moment refusing to go to the movies with you can be annoying, but if he sets you up on a double date or when you expect him to give you a lift to a big basketball game, then you're in serious trouble.
4. Consider if your friend has other reasons to be friends with you. Looking at relationships from the outside is very difficult, but necessary. Take the time to think about why your friend might hold onto you if they don't value you as a person and don't enjoy being with you. Here are some common reasons why a fake friend might have latched on to you:
  - Popularity. If you are more successful than your friend, and he latched on to you to enter your circle, then you are in trouble.
  - Wealth. Rest assured: having rich friends is great. So a person has the opportunity to do what he would never allow himself. If friends are only with you for money, they will disappear as soon as you stop spending your money on them.
  - Convenience. Your “friend” can communicate with you because you regularly give him a ride in a car or let him write off.
  - Boredom. Your friend may be chatting with you simply because he has nothing else to do. You will be able to understand this when he leaves you, finding a new friend, new company or even beloved (beloved).
  - Pay attention to whether a friend is fueling their own self-esteem with your help. Yes, friends should encourage and support each other, but everything is fine in moderation. If a friend is too intrusive, it is worth considering. If a friend spends time with you just to boost his ego and make himself feel better, he's probably taking advantage of you.
Part 3
Pay attention to how your friend makes you feel.
1. See if it helps you feel good about yourself. A friend should be there no matter what and, of course, should give you confidence in yourself and your decisions. A friend doesn't have to agree with everything you do, but your friendship should contribute to making you generally feel good about yourself as a person. Here's how to know if your friend is positively impacting your self-esteem:
  - If you come back from a meeting with a friend, you feel cheerful and inspired, or just chuckle, remembering how you fooled around together, then friendship is beneficial to you. If every time you say goodbye to a friend, you feel like you made a mistake, upset your friend, and generally got worse, then you have a problem.
  - If a friend criticizes you to please his ego, then you have a problem. If a friend humiliates you by snidely commenting on your appearance, figure or score, then this is not a real friend.
  - If a friend approves of your bold and right decisions or empathizes when you do something wrong, then you have a good friend. When you make mistakes, a true friend should support you even more, not make you worse.
2. See if it helps you feel important. If talking to a “friend” makes you feel insecure that you are important to him, then you have a problem. Of course, a friend does not need to shower you with false compliments, but a true friend should always make you feel important, needed, and even indispensable. Here's how to tell if it's helping you feel needed:
  - See if he expresses gratitude, if he thanks you for your help, and if he truly appreciates everything you do for him. A true friend is always grateful for help; a bad friend doesn't express gratitude because he takes it for granted.
  - See if your judgments and opinions matter to him. If a friend truly values you and considers you an important part of his life, then from time to time he will turn to you for advice and ask for your opinion. If your friend doesn't care what you think about anything, whether it's what movie to watch this weekend or his decision to find a new roommate, then there's a problem in your relationship.
  - See if your friend truly enjoys your presence. If when you show up at a social event, a friend hugs you and says he's glad you came, then he's a good friend. If, when you appear, a friend reluctantly greets you or does not pay attention to you, communicating with more “cool” acquaintances, then you have problems.
3. Think about whether you are happy to spend time with your friend. It is important. Friendship is needed in order not to feel lonely and enjoy the world around you even more, it should not complicate your life. If you're more fun being alone than with your friend, then you're in trouble. Here are some signs that talking to a friend is weighing you down:
  - If you are not in a hurry to see your friend, because when they meet, all he does is talk about himself and think that you should run after him, then you have problems.
  - If you do not want to see a friend when you are in the company of your other friends, relatives or your soulmate, because he cannot find a common language with anyone, then you have problems.
  - If you don't enjoy spending time with your friend because being with them doesn't inspire, excite, or engage you, then there's something wrong with your relationship.
  - A black streak can begin in the life of every person. It may not be fun for you to spend time with your friend when he is going through a bad breakup, but if it seems to you that a friend is constantly suffering and you can’t go about your own life because all you do is try to bring him to his senses, then you have something to think about. You are a friend, not a vest in which you can endlessly cry.