Leave unnecessary people in the old year. How to leave old grudges in the past year

"The bad will remain in the old year, and the good will come in the new!" Such a toast is often heard at the set table on the most important night of the year. Easy to say, but not so easy to implement.

Often we carry a heavy load of conflicts and quarrels with us from year to year. But you can still leave the past in the past. We have selected 9 useful techniques that will help you say goodbye to absolutely all grievances.

In a relationship

Comfort in personal life for a woman is the key to success in everything else. But how difficult it is not to be offended by a man, to take it easier on his words and deeds and forget everything that hurt the soul. "Keep in yourself" claims is also harmful. What can be done?

1. Make peace first. A good technique for those who quarreled right before the holiday. On the one hand, it’s terribly stupid to put up just for the sake of celebrating New Year together, on the other hand, it’s more stupid than waiting for him to meet halfway himself you can’t imagine.

How it works. Being at a distance from the offender, going into experiences and plunging into sadness, we fall into the power of fantasies, fears, pride and conjectures. In fact, it could be anything. He did not want to offend you, he meant something completely different, did not understand you or does not realize that your feelings were hurt. In addition, often men do not know how to put up, they do not know how to approach, but they will gladly accept forgiveness. To forgive, it is important to know that the other person is also going through a conflict.

2. Speak out. We are more afraid of spoiling relationships with our loved ones than with others. Therefore, in many cases we do not even voice unpleasant feelings. Such resentment does not seem strong, but it is very difficult to eradicate it.

How it works. On the principle of "lighten the soul." It is important not to get an answer, not to disrupt the evil and not to take revenge, causing similar emotions to spite the offender. The main thing is to talk about your feelings. Talk about what you are experiencing pain, bitterness, disappointment, sadness. The effect is paradoxical - your attitude towards a person changes for the better.

3. Regret. Whatever a man hurts you with criticism, inattention or ridicule in the end, all this has nothing to do with you personally, but with his habitual reactions to habitual stimuli. We know that all this comes from childhood.

How it works. In this case, a technique will help, during which you imagine your man not as an adult and strong, as now, but as a small child. In your imagination, you need to take this baby in your arms, console and reassure. The formidable figure of the offender, against which you are powerless, decreases and ceases to cause anger and anger.

in friendship

In many cases, close circle influences us more than family. We choose friends ourselves, so often they understand us better, but they also know our weaknesses better. The betrayal of a friend is perceived more sharply, it can deprive us of normal communication for a long time and even change our attitude towards ourselves. You shouldn't let things like that go by your own.

1. Wish you happiness. It sounds outrageous when it comes to the person whom you consider to have benefited from the situation at a time when you lost. Why on earth, for example, be happy for a friend who stole a man from you? But if you look from a distance, a person decides on such actions only when he feels deprived.

How it works. Louise Hay, author and best-selling author of self-help psychological books, suggests that in this exercise, imagine the abuser on stage and mentally bestow on him a happy situation and joys. After that, you need to “get up” on the stage yourself and also recharge with happiness. Happy people do not harm each other, for them there is no point in resentment.

2. Mentally take revenge. This is similar to the famous Japanese clerks' exercise of venting their anger on the effigy of the boss. Conditional "punishment" of the offender provides relief. By imagining exactly what you wish for the "traitor", you can calm down.

How it works. When resentment exists in the form of sad thoughts, it is blurred, elusive, and difficult to destroy. Anger is a more specific feeling, this meaning is conveyed by the sayings "it is better to be angry than offended" and "they carry water on the offended." In addition, we often feel guilty for wanting evil. Having tried to "deal with" the enemy mentally, we can make sure that we are not so angry with him.

3. Defeat the pain. Resentment sits in us like a splinter it is almost imperceptible, but still not part of a healthy body. And every time, accidentally touching the injured place, we suffer and run away from these sensations. What to do? Remove carefully.

How it works. Try to restore to the smallest detail all the experiences about this. Having felt all the most unpleasant, just imagine how, overcoming the fear of pain, you take out the insult, like a foreign object, and throw it away. It is important to catch relief immediately after you get rid of these feelings. You are healthy and this sadness will not return again.

In family

Connections with parents and elders, adults who are authoritative for us, are not realized so strongly. Therefore, children's grievances go away more slowly, but it is very important to say goodbye to them. New Year family celebration, but the triumph is often overshadowed by the echoes of old conflicts and dissatisfaction with each other.

1. Change the script. Including the script of the holiday. Any claims or other behavior of parents offend us because of the inability to solve everything on our own. This is the memory of childhood relationships, when we did not really have this right. Now there is, so we are offended by ourselves.

How it works. Write two behavior plans. Plan A how everything usually happens, how the participants in quarrels behave (you, your parents, brothers and sisters), plan B how you would like. This will help you break the pattern and start changing your role. The roles of other characters will change in fact. There will be no room for resentment here.

2. Find your benefit. Relationships are associated with trust, but life corrects these beliefs. It is difficult for us to allow ourselves to bargain with relatives, to make a deal with them, although we easily do this in love or at work. From the family, we expect understanding a priori. At the same time consider your interests this is normal for any relationship.

How it works. If it's to your advantage not to be offended, don't be offended. Does resentment torment you? What will you get if you choose to forgive? Freedom, the joy of communication, closeness with family. Benefits can be both material and moral. Forgive in order to get help, praise and attention? Why not.

3. Forgive just like that. The idea of ​​forgiveness as such is inherent in the nature of any living being, therefore animals and children do not hold anger for long in their souls and quickly return to pure feelings of love and affection. So it helps to forgive and religious feeling just letting go of the past.

How it works. Dealing with old troubles is painful, difficult, and energy intensive. In any case, this is no longer the case. By letting go of the situation, you start from scratch and a clean slate. Even if the abuser remains at the mercy of his emotions, your mood can inspire him too.

My dear and wonderful friends, I congratulate you on the Old New Year. May all bad things remain in the past, may all good and magical things happen to you in the new year. I wish you all peace and happiness, strong love and good luck, good miracles and great hopes, high successes and excellent health.

My dear friends, I congratulate you on the Old New Year. I wish you to leave everything bad and unnecessary in the past, step into the new year with great luck and a wonderful mood. I wish you good and happiness, great success and wonderful desires, amazing ideas and great happiness.

Dear friends, I congratulate you on the Old New Year. I wish you to leave all the bad things behind, and take your own in the new year. inner strength, confidence and focus. And let there be a bag with luck, health and perseverance under the tree, then you, dear ones, will certainly be able to achieve everything you want in the coming year. Good luck, friends, love and prosperity!

Friends, I congratulate you on the Old New Year and I want to wish everyone to get rid of sad memories and all sorts of mistakes, as if from a heavy and unnecessary burden. I wish everyone to start a new path to their successes and victories, and may everyone, in pursuit of their dreams, not forget about happiness, joy, friendship and love in the new year.

My beloved, good and faithful friends, I congratulate you on the Old New Year. May all bad weather and sorrows remain in the past, may incredible love and kind joy, great happiness and great success, great luck and brave fun await you ahead.

My dear and dear friends, let the Old New Year step on the threshold in a big way, let all the past become cunning, this year will bring us good luck and happiness. May our hearts become kinder, may there be no joy of limit and end. I wish everyone bright smiles and great miracles.

The Old New Year is a great occasion to congratulate you again, my beloved friends, on the holiday! I want to wish our company to be the same friendly and cheerful for decades! I wish all of us to love and be loved passionately, I wish you a romantic personal life and great success in our hard work! Let the sun rise and set, it rains, snows, hail, and our friendship does not weaken, but only grows stronger and grows!

Believing in New Year's signs is not as reckless as it might seem. Often there are much more logical things behind them than we used to think. relax.by offers for the first time to consider the rational side of New Year's signs.

Perhaps the most popular sign is “How you celebrate the New Year, so you will spend it.” There are many more similar signs, for example, “To ensure the well-being of the New Year, he should arrange a joyful, friendly meeting,” etc. They all say that your own mood is the key to the productivity of the coming season. If you are in such bright holiday, like the New Year, you have lost your mood, faith in the future, quarrel with loved ones or do not want to be positive, it is unlikely that you will be able to gain strength and accomplish all your plans in the coming year. Therefore, take this sign very seriously. Think in advance where you will spend the holiday, and do not forget to leave all the bad things in the past year. If you can’t find joy in any way, apply your own chosen principle regarding this day. Take a break and celebrate every New Year in a different country, do what you really like on the night of December 31 to January 1: watch a series or a sports match. Don't let yourself lose the most important thing you have under the tree - your presence of mind. Otherwise, where would such signs come from? “Before the New Year, you can’t take dirty linen out of the hut, otherwise there will be no home well-being for a whole year”, “If the first day of the year is merry, then the whole year will be like that”, “If guests are on New Year’s, then guests are all year”, “If in the first day of the New Year to do hard work, the whole year will pass without rest "...

A very true sign "If you put on something new for the New Year, then the year will be successful", "On New Year's Eve with a new thing - walk around in new clothes for a whole year." Shopping is a great way to relieve stress, and when choosing gifts for loved ones, do not forget about yourself. Be sure to wear New Year's celebration new underwear, and possibly everything else.

New Year's signs do not recommend us to save on: "Loaf and salt on the New Year's table - to well-being", "Food and drinks should be in abundance on the New Year's table, then there will be prosperity in the family all year." Here we apply the law that one who knows how to relax can work well and earn money. Do not limit yourself to pleasant pleasure, let the sign "The last glass on New Year's Eve bring good luck to those who drink it" will come into your hands. Do not be afraid of stereotypes and be sure to cook the traditional Olivier for the New Year. And do not forget about the smell of tangerines, which we associate with childhood. In addition, there is such a sign: “A minute before the chiming clock, you need to take a tangerine (orange), peel it and put it under the Christmas tree. If you have time, then the year will be very happy.”

Folk wisdom contains many New Year's signs about money: “You should not pay debts on this day - otherwise you will pay off all year”, “You can’t lend money on New Year’s so that you don’t be in debt all next year”, “Who has New Year if his pockets are empty, he will spend the whole year in need. We don’t know how our ancestors argued such advice, but in modern economic conditions New year's night may be characterized by instability in rates and quotes, which begins to be minimized only a week after the holidays. Therefore, do not rush to implement cash transactions in the New Year, wait until the new financial period comes and you can solve all issues with a clear head.

In ancient times, people believed that on the New Year they become vulnerable to evil spirits and evil spirits. Therefore, they tried to drive them away with a noisy holiday, and with any other sounds. It was even considered as follows: “If someone sneezes on this day, then to their well-being, the whole year will be happy.”

Today is New Year's Eve, perhaps the only one when, on the contrary, neither neighbors nor the police frighten us. You can scream and rejoice! Therefore, use this opportunity - blow up firecrackers, shout "Hurrah!", Loudly open champagne and clink glasses. Maybe this will really allow you to drive away all evil spirits from your home!

Photo source:
copypast.ru
simmama.ru

It's time to look back at the past year and decide what you want to leave there forever...

December 31st is just around the corner. It's time to look back at the outgoing year and decide what you want to leave there forever.

Hint: anything that keeps your happiness from being complete.

Although sometimes life seems difficult, there is so much to do, and time and energy are running out, it is tedious to try to control your emotions. Stress won't help.

And if in more detail, then this list will help you clear your mind of mental “trash” and find harmony.

©theessentialyoublog

You will need to get rid of thoughts that:

They slow down and limit your growth.

Full of guilt and keep you from doing what you really love.

They make you think you're not okay. The universe needs you just like that.

They open new doors for you. Uncertainty is not always negative, give it a chance and get out of your comfort zone.

They only bring regret. Often, a share of healthy indifference will not hurt.

They push you to step on the throat of your song. Be sure to try to fulfill your dreams.

They make you worry because they are programming you to do what you want to avoid.

Shift responsibility for your life to someone else. Either humble yourself, or act - in any case, others are not responsible for you.

They force you to do everything personally. Share the burden with others and take care of yourself, at least a little.

They turn the world into a struggle of exclusively black and white, because there are so many beautiful colors between them. Become less judgmental and learn to enjoy this diversity.

They drag you into the past. Release it and boldly step into the future.

It raises doubts about whether you are in the right place. At that. It is better to ask yourself the question - where do you want to go from here.

They whisper that you, compared to the rest, are just a pathetic loser. Now you are exactly where you need to be, so instead of wasting your energy on comparisons, engage in self-development.

Do not allow to forgive relatives and former. Anger hurts you first of all. Remember the good things that once connected you, and wish them happiness.

Too ambitious. There is a risk of breaking. You've done your best, so now enjoy your well-deserved rest.

They need to know everything in advance. The element of surprise sometimes does not hurt.

Forced to cycle on financial problems. Think of a strategy for how to solve them, and direct your mind in a positive direction.

Full of craving for approval. You are unique and without the praise of any other person.

They push to change a person, even if he does not need it. Better take care of yourself, often this is not only more productive, but also inspires others to follow a good example.

Filled with self-hatred. Each of us has not only disadvantages, but also advantages. You deserve your own love regardless of your appearance or anything else.

Even if you are an ultra decent person, not prone to hoarding, before the new year it does not hurt to conduct an audit so as not to drag anything superfluous into a brighter future, be it things, thoughts or emotions.

1. If, then, perhaps, they could not resist and remembered not only the good. If not, now is the right time. Remember what mistakes you made, what ridiculous situations happened to you.

If the situation has already been worked out, it will not bring you unpleasant emotions. And if not, it's time to work it out and not drag these mistakes and failures into the future.

So, write on paper (this is important!) list of mistakes and failures, problems and troubles. Analyze each situation: how it could have been prevented, what you personally could have done to make the situation more favorable.

Replace the image of an unpleasant moment with a positive one and play it in your head several times until you believe that it happened. So you remove the emotional charge, and get a fixed algorithm of actions for the next time, if this happens to you.

Thank the situation for the lesson and let it go. For a symbolic end, burn the list, blow it in the wind, or flush it down the toilet. In extreme cases, give it to the office "crocodile" or send it to the electronic trash, if you are too lazy to pick up a pen.

2. Look what remains unfinished in the list of tasks for the current year. What else can be done? Russian people tend to overthrow mountains in a limited time. Use the moment to explode your own productivity.

3. Review the list of tasks for long-term tails. Those things that are rewritten from year to year, but not done, require special attention. It is useful to look through them and figure out exactly why they do not go into the category of done (you can use my mini-book). Perhaps they can be crossed out and forgotten without harm. Or do it in the near future, having dealt with the reasons for the downtime.

4. I think that most of my readers have already figured out piles of things, if any . Nevertheless, even the most decent people may not notice how outdated something is in the cycle of affairs. Look at your material possessions with fresh eyes. It's time to get rid of:

• broken (for example, repair);
• irrelevant and unnecessary: ​​old-fashioned dresses, obscenely worn underwear, dusty appliances;
• unclaimed (new trousers that you have not worn even once in 4 years);
• unloved: that which takes up space in vain, despite the fact that it does not give you joy (of course, you should not throw out the unloved and necessary).
• Disassemble books, magazines, documents, guidebooks, instructions and warranty cards from non-existent equipment.
• Dispose of broken pens, dried refills, used batteries, lone keys, and so on in the trash or better places.
• If possible, get rid of everything that has unpleasant memories.

5. Disassemble your electronic treasures:

• Unsubscribe from newsletters that you never read. If it's a pity, make a list of "good unsubscribes" to return to when you have time and mood to read (actually, never, but let's pretend).
• Delete temporary files on the desktop and in downloads.
• Organize your photos:
  • remove duplicates and similar pictures;
  • send poor quality footage to the trash;
  • say goodbye to photos that cause you negative emotions;
  • wave the pen to the pictures where they came out unsuccessfully;
  • structure the rest for easy reference.
• Demolish programs that you never use. Clean the archives from obsolete boot files.

6. Scan your relationship. Make a list of your moral hooks with other people: insults, omissions, moral and material debts, broken promises. Try to complete what you promised (or at least confirm your obligations and return dates), resolve omissions, apologize for the offenses you have caused and forgive for what you received.

If a conversation with real person impossible, throw out your emotions on paper / in electronic text. You can send this to the addressee only if it improves relations. In most cases, it is enough to write a letter of resentment, throwing out all your negative emotions, thoughts and expectations, burn and close this topic. You can put an end to it by washing away the remnants of resentment in your soul and rewarding yourself with something pleasant.

7. Review your automatisms, obsolete installations. What actions of yours do not bring you benefit, joy, result? What do you do simply because it is accepted or used to? These can be destructive activities such as drinking, smoking, and yelling at loved ones. Or just extra movements that do not affect the result, how to get strawberries out of the jam during the cooking process so that they do not fall apart.

What do you want to leave in the past year? Fold and send to the archive.

Thank you, …, thank you for your service and lessons! Goodbye!