Wedding posters, telegrams. Comic wedding telegrams
JOKE TELEGRAMS TO THE NEWLYWEDDED!
1. Congratulations on a good booty.
(Society of hunters)
2. Congratulations! We wish you not to be under the heel of your wife.
(Shoe workshop)
3. Congratulations! We are glad to accept in our ranks.
(Henpecked Society)
4. We open courses for dads to drive baby carriages. Driving licenses are issued after nine months.
(GAI)
5. If you suddenly have children on your way, consider them yours.
(Neighbour)
BRIDE
1. Your order has been completed, a new sample clamp has been sent. We will send the bridle later.
(Stud farm)
2. Dear ……(name of the bride)! Remember, marriage for a man is a life sentence with complete confiscation of property (salary) without severance pay. Therefore, take care of a man, like a deposit in a bank, by old age you will receive a solid percentage.
(Pravex-bank)
3. Dear wife! Don't forget your husband when you leave.
(Lost and found)
4. Feed your husband well. Don't iron against the grain. Let out once a week to run.
(Society for the Protection of Animals)
5. Dear ... .. (name of the bride)! Congratulations! Your order has been completed - you can get black gloves at any time.
(Department store)
YOUNG
1. If you need kids - no problem! Winnie the Pooh will always help. Yes Yes Yes!
(Winnie the Pooh)
2. Let the fire of your hearts burn stronger. We will not simmer!
(Firefighters)
3. We reserve 10 places!
(maternity hospital)
4. First wedding night, mentally with you.
(Neighbours)
5. Bitter! Bitterly! Bitterly!
(Distillery)
P.S. To be continued
Newlyweds, remember! A gram of understanding will replace a kilogram of validol. Dr. Aibolit rating: 44 ↓
Looking forward to the meeting. We'll be soon. Meet. Family chores 41 ↓
Dear Newlyweds We will arrive with a gift just in time period Your Stork 40 ↓
Bitterly! Bitterly! Bitterly! Distillery team 39 ↓
Dear bride, we inform you that your fiancé is preparing to launch Operation Who's the Boss? We propose to get ahead of him and start a counter operation! good advice bureau 40 ↓
Congratulations and we remind you that hot hugs on the wedding night and after are allowed at a distance of no closer than one meter from flammable objects Volunteer Fire Society 39 ↓
Husband! Don't shoot off your shoulder! Wife! Don't drink! Forestry 44 ↓
If you need kids, no problem! Winnie the Pooh will always help. Yes Yes Yes! We wish the newlyweds a good honeymoon! Society of beekeepers 37 ↓
Young! We cordially congratulate you on your arrival at the port family life! We inform you that from now on casting nets in foreign waters is regarded as poaching! Rybnadzor 40 ↓
Congratulations on your revolutionary step in life! I wish you successful multiplication of the family with the subsequent democratization of family relations. Move on to independence and self-financing! The president 41 ↓
Congratulations on your marriage! Let the feelings burn with a bright flame! firefighters 40 ↓
Congratulations to the newlyweds, happiness, joy and we wish you quickly to the hospital, we are very, very waiting for a visit! maternity hospital 40 ↓
Bridegroom, remember! If the wife breaks out - call 01! Society of firefighters 38 ↓
Comic telegrams have always been and remain in vogue. After all, a wedding is a holiday, fun, and no one will be averse to laughing at one of these telegrams dedicated to both newlyweds, or to the bride and groom separately. And to make it even more interesting, you can hold the presentation of telegrams in the form of a costumed performance: dress one of the assistants in a postman's costume and let him read with expression! And this can be preceded by the words:
While everyone here congratulated you,
You didn't hear anything
And the postman came to us,
I brought you a telegram wagon.
Hearty congratulations on your legal marriage! How many stumps are in the forest, we wish you so many sons. How many buds are on the tree, we wish you so many daughters. Society for the Conservation of Nature
We wish the young couple to live until the golden wedding. Nursing home
You feel good today, you are getting married today.
Still, you won't get away from me.
your baby
Congratulations! We invite you to spend your wedding night in the Arctic, here the night lasts 6 months. White bears
We will try to ensure cloudless weather throughout our life, but a lot depends on you. meteorologists
You got married - and figure it out yourself! police department
Young! We cordially congratulate you on your arrival in the port of family life! We inform you that from now on casting anchors and nets in foreign waters is regarded as poaching and is condemned by law. Rybnadzor
Download all telegrams in ".jpeg" format, resol. 350 and size 2950*2094 px from rapidshare.com
More texts of telegrams for newlyweds:
Dear Newlyweds! Congratulations on the start of your honeymoon! Society of beekeepers
Dear newlyweds! I'm delayed. Get by on your own. Stork
Let's disperse the smog over your city. We will purify the water in your water supply. Health to you! Greenpeace
Congratulations on your marriage! We do not object to your feelings burning with a bright flame. Fire brigade
Bitterly! Bitterly! Bitterly! Distillery team
So that your life sparkles, and does not hiss and gurgle like soda! Director of the champagne winery
Wait in 9 months. I hug you tightly, kiss you. Stork
May there not be a single bitter day in your life. Confectionery factory workers
Dear Newlyweds! I will arrive with a gift just in time. Your stork
Dear Newlyweds! Jealousy is a great evil! Trust each other! Othello
On the wedding night, my thoughts are with you. Neighbours
We believe, we hope, we wait. maternity hospital
Booking 5 seats. Let me know if you need more. Kindergarten "Sun"
Dear spouses! Gnaw dry, not friend-friend! bakery
I wish you a sea of \u200b\u200bhappiness, live together for up to a hundred years and let 33 heroes be born. Uncle Chernomor
We ask you to learn another language - the language of family relations. University of the Foreign languages
Let your marriage be without marriage! OTC controller
(Names of young people)! Employees of the State Insurance Congratulate you on a significant date and ask you to insure yourself against hatred, sadness and boredom. GOSSTRAKH
(Names)! The employees of the electrical network advise (husband's name), if the wife is not in a good mood, do not touch her, otherwise you will get a short circuit. GORSET
(Husband's name), do not chop off your shoulder, and you (wife's name), drank, but know the measure. Forestry
Looking forward to the meeting. We'll be soon. Meet. Family chores
Young! Congratulations and we remind you that hot hugs on the wedding night and after are allowed at a distance of no closer than one meter from flammable objects. Volunteer Fire Society
Dear newlyweds! Please do not leave without work. maternity hospital
Dear (names of young people)! Congratulations and we remind you that you can buy everything for children from us, but children themselves are not yet on sale. Child's world
Newlyweds! We wish your children rich parents. Savings bank
(Names of young people)! Neither thunder nor lightning in your life together. Forecast Bureau
Congratulations on the launch of the two satellites of the Bride and Groom. We wish you a successful stratum, a safe joint flight! Astronauts, cosmonauts and other "...nauts"
Dear bride and groom! Congratulations and we would like to inform you that a 9-month course for drivers of baby strollers is starting on the territory of the Park of Culture. To avoid crowds, please book in advance. traffic police inspector
Congratulations on your revolutionary step in life! I wish you successful restructuring, accelerated multiplication of the family, followed by the democratization of family relations. Rather, move on to independence and self-financing, and your parents will be your reliable sponsors. President of Russia
1. Dear bride and groom! Congratulations! We wish you five sons-admirals and six son-in-laws-generals. Military Commissariat.
2. Dear guests! Drink for the young everything that is poured for you. We are ready to welcome you all.
Sobering-up station.
3. Dear...! Congratulations on a great loot and be warned that your maiden hunting season is over.
Hunters Union.
4. I sincerely congratulate your couple. I promise to eat porridge, attend kindergarten, learn lessons "by the tooth."
Hello! Your future son.
5. From the bottom of our hearts, congratulations... and... on your arrival at the port of Family Life. We warn you that from now on and forever the casting of anchors and nets in foreign waters will be regarded as poaching and will be strictly condemned by society.
Rybnadzor.
6. Dear ... and ...! Wait for me in 9 months, I'm leaving tomorrow.
Stork.
7. Darling...! We're sorry you didn't choose us. However, we wish you passionate love...
With love: Vasya, Dima, Kolya, Vitya, Sergey, Denis, Roman, Ivan, Stepan and others.
8. Dear...! When you have children, think that they are yours.
Neighbour.
9. Dear mother-in-law! If you want (bride's name) to be always married to heaven, give your son-in-law monthly $100 each.
Mother-in-law with experience.
10. Congratulations to the couple in love and wish that their love always sparkles and plays like champagne, and never fizzes or gurgles like soda.
Director of the factory of sparkling wines.
11. Dear newlyweds! Congratulations and we wish you to keep your mother-in-law and mother-in-law like a rose: in a dark place, neck-deep in ice-cold water.
Union of gardeners.
12. Team kindergarten"Solnyshko" congratulates the newlyweds on the family's birthday, wishes happiness, health, love and, as wedding gift, reserves eleven places for the future football team "Dynamo ...".
13. Dear ... and ...! Congratulations on your marriage and we warn you that hot kisses on your wedding night are allowed at least 1 meter from ... objects that are quickly engaged.
Volunteer Union of Firefighters.
14. Dear fiance! Congratulations on a successful catch.
Union of Fishermen.
16. We wish the newlyweds that a whole birch grove will grow from two birch trees.
Lespromkhoz.
17. Dear newlyweds, we welcome and inform you that the wheelchair driving courses are postponed indefinitely due to the lack of passengers.
DOSAAF.
18. Dear ... and ...! Congratulations on your upcoming honeymoon. We want it to be endless.
Beekeeping Department.
19. Dear ... and ...! Congratulations on your legal marriage. We wish happiness and warn the groom: if the bride is kidnapped, the police will not help.
State Department of the Interior.
20. My dear and beloved ...! I am sending you this telegram from the station, soon my train will be on the way, and I will leave you forever. Remember how we rejoiced together, what unforgettable happy days it was, how we loved each other. Remember how you promised that you would be faithful to me for the rest of your life. But now it's not like that. Next to you, she is young, very attractive, in wedding dress. So be happy with her, love her and never leave as you left me. AND last request- never forget me.
I kiss you firmly, your bachelor's freedom.
We ask you to learn another language - the language of family relations.
University of the Foreign languages
* * *
Congratulations! I can't come, I'll be in nine months!
Stork
* * *
We express our sincere condolences to dear (wife's name) in connection with the loss of her surname.
Passport Office
Big discounts: up to 80% on wedding goods and 55% on delivery!
... (name of spouse)!
Congratulations! Be happy! Please return my photos.
Forgotten bachelor life
* * *
... (name of spouse)!
When entering into marriage, give up childishness, So that children go with a sign of quality.
Department of technical control
* * *
Congratulations on the launch of the two satellites of the Bride and Groom. We wish you a successful stratum, a safe joint flight!
ASTRONAUTS, COSMONAUTS AND OTHER "...NAUTS"
***
Dear newlyweds! I'm delayed. Get by on your own.
STORK.
* * *
Dear Newlyweds! I will arrive with a gift just in time.
STORK
* * *
Dear bride! Remember, marriage for a man is a life sentence with complete confiscation of property (salary) without severance pay. Therefore, take care of a man, like a deposit in a bank, by old age you will receive a solid percentage.
BANK
* * *
bride.
We bring to your attention that your husband is preparing to launch the operation "Who is the boss in the house?"
BUREAU OF GOOD TIPS
* * *
Groom!
The wife is not a mitten. You can’t throw it off your hand, but you can’t throw it over the fence.
LOST AND FOUND
* * *
Newlyweds.
If you need kids, no problem!
Winnie the Pooh will always help. Yes Yes Yes!
WINNIE THE POOH
* * *
We advise and remind: if the husband's money is easily accessible to the wife, then do not forget that it is safe and profitable to keep them in a bank, but not a glass one!
CHIEF BANKER OF RUSSIA
* * *
Newlyweds.
Kindergarten is like a swarm of bees
Hello cordial sends his
We all want you, young people, to wish
Don't forget to get in line.
KINDERGARTEN
* * *
We are booking 10 seats.
Kindergarten "SOLNYSHKO"
* * *
Future spouses!
So that your life sparkles, and does not hiss and gurgle like soda!
DIRECTOR OF THE PLANT OF CHAMPAGNE WINES.
* * *
Young! Congratulations and we remind you that hot hugs on the wedding night and after are allowed at a distance of no closer than one meter from quickly flammable objects.
VOLUNTARY FIRE SOCIETY
* * *
Prudent wife!
If you want your husband to spend time only with you, then make sure that he does not find such pleasant pleasure and tenderness anywhere else.
WELLWISHER
* * *
Groom.
Take care of the dress again. And a wife from a young age.
HOUSE OF LIFE
* * *
If you find your husband in a ditch with his head towards the house - do not scold him: he was on the right track.
FRIENDS OF THE HUSBAND
* * *
We wish the young couple to live until the golden wedding.
NURSING HOME
* * *
(groom's name) and (bride's name)!
We wish you happiness, friends!
From now on you are one together!
To keep your head from spinning
And the mind was always in place!
FRIENDS AT WORK
* * *
Groom. Married himself - help another.
FRIENDS ARE BASCH.
* * *
We wish you a sea of \u200b\u200bhappiness, live together for up to a hundred years and let 33 heroes be born.
UNCLE CHERNOMOR
* * *
Now a collar will be put on you!
Bug.
* * *
(Groom's name)!
Go straight ahead! Looking left can lead to family disaster!
STSI INSPECTOR.
* * *
Dear bride and groom! Congratulations and we would like to inform you that a 9-month course for drivers of baby strollers is starting on the territory of the Park of Culture. To avoid crowds, please book in advance.
STSI INSPECTOR
* * *
We ask you to learn another language - the language of family relations.
UNIVERSITY OF THE FOREIGN LANGUAGES
* * *
Young wife.
Blankets, undershirts,
Dolls, nipples and pots
Waiting for a long time already mom
Be good, hurry up!
STORE TEAM DETSKY MIR
* * *
Your order has been completed, a new sample clamp has been sent. We will send the bridle later.
STUD FARM
* * *
Let your marriage be without marriage!
QC inspector
* * *
Guests.
Let everyone be drunk and cheerful
Eat and drink wisely!
So that you are crowded at the table,
It was spacious under the table!
DISTILLERY
* * *
Bitterly! Bitterly! Bitterly!
DISTILLERY
* * *
Bride. Please tell me your husband's measurements. We'll send you a collar.
STORE 1000 THINGS
* * *
To be below the grass
To be quieter than water
To not go without asking
And he told me where he was.
MIA
* * *
Groom.
Congratulations to the newlyweds on their legal marriage. We wish happiness and warn the groom in advance: if the bride is kidnapped, the police are powerless.
MIA
* * *
(Groom's name)!
A wife is not a mistress - she can be loved when she is an old woman.
MINISTRY OF WELFARE.
* * *
Newly Fiancé!
When you look for a shoe for your future wife, choose one that has a wider heel and a lighter sole!
HUSBANDS WITH EXPERIENCE
* * *
For 2005, three places are booked in the nursery in New York! Don't ruin our plan.
MAYOR OF NEW YORK
* * *
Groom.
Congratulations! We wish you not to be under the heel of your wife.
SHOE WORKSHOP
* * *
Dear... , your custom heel design has been completed.
SHOE FACTORY
* * *
Groom. Traitor of the way back!
SOCIETY
* * *
Groom. Congratulations on a good loot! We inform you that the hunting season for brides is over.
SOCIETY OF HUNTERS.
* * *
Groom. Congratulations on a good loot!
SOCIETY OF HUNTERS
* * *
Bride. Feed your husband well. Don't iron against the grain. Let out once a week to run.
ANIMAL PROTECTION SOCIETY.
* * *
Groom.
Congratulations. We are glad to accept in our ranks.
SOCIETY UNDER HEEL
* * *
Dear Newlyweds! Congratulations on the start of your honeymoon!
SOCIETY OF BEEKEEPERS
* * *
Share your experience on how to catch in your networks.
SOCIETY "Old Maidens"
* * *
Bride. Share your experience on how to catch in your networks.
THE SOCIETY OF OLD VIRGINS.
* * *
Bride. Congratulations! We are sorry and very disappointed.
SOCIETY OF OLD MAIDS
* * *
Dear Newlyweds! Jealousy is a great evil! Trust each other!
OTHELLO
* * *
To sleep peacefully at night, teach your child to say dad.
GIRLFRIENDS
* * *
Dear fiance.
That time is over
You will not come to us again.
Maybe at a wedding
The last time you drink!
GIRLFRIEND FROM THE DELI
* * *
Young.
Let the fire of your hearts burn stronger.
We will not simmer!
FIRE ENGINEERS AND EMERCOM
* * *
Let the heat of the heart not go out, but do not make us a fire!
FIRE ENGINEERS AND EMERCOM
* * *
Brought a million notes.
Congratulations! We invite you to spend your wedding night in the Arctic, here the night lasts 6 months.
POLAR EXPLORERS
* * *
Newlyweds.
Congratulations on your revolutionary step in life! I wish you successful restructuring, accelerated multiplication of the family, followed by the democratization of family relations. Rather, move on to independence and self-financing, and your parents will be your reliable sponsors.
PRESIDENT OF RUSSIA
* * *
Dear newlyweds,
I'm sorry last time
After visiting your city for a couple of days,
I didn't have to stay with you!
And now I can't get away
From serious, responsible affairs,
Instead of a "summit" in Okinawa
I'd rather sing at the wedding!
Well, there - a conversation with your mother-in-law,
I drank vodka with a witness,
And mushrooms, under the marinade,
I would cut down with the guards!
Discotheques, drinking speeches
The President is not alien yet,
And I wish the Bride and Groom
Save love forever!
Dear bride and groom,
To help everyone forever and at once,
I publish on the occasion of the wedding,
The most important decree in (April)!
PRESIDENT OF RUSSIA
* * *
Congratulations on your honeymoon!
BEEKEEPERS OF RUSSIA
* * *
Spouses Ivanov.
An application for divorce from Lyudmila Ivanova and Mikhail Ivanov is not accepted.
ZAX EMPLOYEES
* * *
May there not be a single bitter day in your life.
CONFECTIONERY FACTORY EMPLOYEES
* * *
Bride. Be for your husband not only cake, but also bread. However, remember that man is not fed with bread alone.
WORKERS OF CAFE (RESTAURANT)
* * *
Congratulations to the newlyweds, we wish you happiness and joy.
We are waiting for the Bride to visit our exemplary maternity hospital.
Maternity hospital
* * *
The place is booked. Looking forward to meeting you.
Maternity hospital
* * *
We believe, we hope, we wait.
Maternity hospital
* * *
Young! We cordially congratulate you on your arrival in the port of family life! We inform you that from now on casting anchors and nets in foreign waters is regarded as poaching and is condemned by law.
RYBINSPECTOR
* * *
Groom!
If you suddenly have children on your way, consider them your own!
NEIGHBOUR.
* * *
On the wedding night, my thoughts are with you.
NEIGHBOURS
* * *
Groom, bride and the whole honest company. Drink, have fun, just don't get to us!
MIA EMPLOYEE
* * *
Strive to please your mother-in-law, it is easier to please your wife.
HAPPY HUSBANDS.
* * *
My favorite! Yesterday I found out that you are getting married. It's a pity! Well, all the best to you! For many years we lived with you in peace and friendship, enjoyed each other. Are you fed up with me and you cheated on me? I'm sorry you met someone else. She is better, kinder, more beautiful than me! Well, goodbye forever! Happiness to you, love. I take comfort in the fact that I have a lot of your brother left.
Goodbye.
YOUR SIMPLE LIFE
* * *
Dear bride, we express our heartfelt gratitude to you for your promptness in freeing us from long-boring persecution. With sincere envy.
THIRTEEN PURE DE»
* * *
Dear BRIDE! Congratulations! Your order has been completed - you can get iron gloves at any time.
DEPARTMENT STORE
* * *
Live happily without quarrels and deceptions. Love each other and signature:
KHAZANOV.
* * *
Groom. If you want your wife to be an angel, create heaven for her.
CRAP.
* * *
Bride. Love your husband, be happy. But if after 17 years you want to change married life for 17 moments of spring - urgently inform.
STIRLITS.
