Pregnancy at 17 what will happen to a guy. Teenage pregnancy - features, difficulties, prevention
I met my future husband when I finished school (grade 11). Of course, at that time it was too early to think about children - there was an institute ahead, a decent job. In general, the transition to adulthood.
I never imagined that the transition would be so short. Once I noticed that for a long time there were no so-called "critical days", but I did not attach much importance to this. Thoughts, of course, all sorts of things were spinning in my head ... you never know what?! And to go to the doctor, especially to the gynecologist, is somehow scary and unpleasant. I went to the nearest pharmacy, bought a few tests to be sure and went home to "test". Either I did something wrong, or the test got caught, but on both - "negative". I calmed down and continued my measured life: studying at the institute (in absentia), work. Having recovered a little, I decided that improper and untimely nutrition had such a detrimental effect on my kilograms. Another month passed, and relatives began to somehow look askance and say: "Are you by any chance pregnant?" To which I firmly, with my head held high, answered that I had done tests and everything was negative. When already the chest began to swell and the lower abdomen became convex and firm, there was practically no doubt.
My at that time still common-law husband said: "Only an abortion!" And I had no choice but to go to the doctor. The diagnosis, of course, was confirmed, and when the doctor asked, looking at me, still so young and "green", whether I would give birth, I answered "no", as if I had no options left. The doctor, already quite an experienced gynecologist, without dissuading me (which struck me most of all), dejectedly bowed her head, wrote down my decision on the card. When I left the office, I did not know what to do next. I was afraid to go home and tell my parents about it, I was afraid to go to work with my husband, I was afraid of an abortion... In the end, I am only 17 years old and my whole life is just beginning... Having reached the stop, throwing a pack of cigarettes out of my pocket, I made a decision. Since I am not the first and not the last to give birth in this world, it means that it is not fatal, but after an abortion there are many cases of remaining childless for life. First of all, I went to work with my husband. I couldn't imagine such a reaction. When I told him that I was pregnant, he lifted me up and kissed me hard, in the following weeks he glowed with happiness and did not walk, but flew through the air. Relatives and friends also approved and supported my decision. Of course, it was unexpected, but welcome.
And as with any new purchase, you read the instructions first of all, so I began to read a lot of literature: these are 2 well-known books by B. Spock "A Conversation with a Mother" and "A Child and Care for Him", which are worth reading, but nothing more ; this is "Popular Psychology for Parents", which, in my opinion, should be a reference book for both moms and dads, this is a subscription to the magazines "My baby and me", " Happy parents", as well as various newspapers, booklets and other publications. I was extremely interested. I think that such an amount of information is useful. I can say that I flew through the whole pregnancy - no illnesses, stretch marks and swelling of the legs. All this can be avoided, the main thing is to know Of course, my erudition helped me both during childbirth and in communicating with older and more experienced parents.
Now my sun is already 5 years old, and I am sure that in the near future he will have a sister (I really want a daughter) and a brother (most likely from an orphanage) ... But that's a completely different story ...
Discussion
I'm 17, I'm giving birth today!!! I am very happy and do not regret my choice!
09.10.2017 04:56:20, AakkkHello, I’m 17 and the pregnancy is only a week, yes, it’s not planned, but I didn’t even think about an abortion, I agree, it’s early, well, nothing, my beloved and loving guy is next to me, good parents, and I’m sure everything will be alright, albeit a hard one to get started.
06/27/2017 10:40:40 amYes-ah-ah with husbands misunderstandings
Zhanna, please explain about husbands, some kind of inconsistency turns out. And that she didn’t have an abortion, well done, the child also wants to live!
"The whole pregnancy, one might say, I flew by - no illnesses, stretch marks and swelling of the legs. All this can be avoided, the main thing is to know what to do."
Funny. Maybe you should write an article on how to avoid, for example, stretch marks? And then, you know, thousands of women in the world just can’t get rid of them, they just don’t do it. Share with the world, please.
Yes, and about diseases - in more detail. The Nobel Prize will probably be given. Well this is a revolution in medicine - how to avoid diseases!
03/07/2008 13:59:07, Katya
I didn’t understand something, how many husbands?
"My at that time still common-law husband said:" Only an abortion!
And
"The first thing I went to my husband at work. I could not imagine such a reaction. When I told him that I was pregnant, he picked me up and kissed me hard"
Zhannochka, this is a very instructive story for most. After all, many only after graduating from school, not being married, will find out that they are pregnant and go for an abortion. They do not understand what happiness it is to hold this little ball for the first time, how to rejoice when a baby performs his first feats ... I think that your story is an example for many ... I wish you great happiness and healthy babies! Love each other!!! :)
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Unfortunately, early adulthood is fraught with non-childish problems.
One of the most serious is an unplanned pregnancy.
Girls are often in a hurry to grow up. Try on mom's shoes and dresses, paint lips with lipstick older sister, conduct "ladies'" conversations and stare at respectable men ... More than a million girls a year find themselves in an "interesting position" before they celebrate their 18th birthday, and only 15% of them give birth.
Daughters-mothers
The fruits of the sexual revolution around the world taste bad - since the 60s, the number of teenage pregnancies in Europe and the United States has only grown. At the beginning of the 21st century, through the joint efforts of psychologists, doctors and teachers, it was possible to somewhat reduce the number of young mothers, but it is still too early to talk about victory in this “war”. In Russia, 30 out of 1,000 girls give birth before they turn 19, and every year 40,000 girls under the age of 17 terminate their pregnancy, 3,000 of them under the age of 14. According to the research institute. Semashko, at least 40% of high school students are sexually active at the age of 15.5, and only 18% of them use contraception.
In girls aged 14-17, early conception is often the result of ignorance and youthful carelessness. According to US sociologists, 22% of pregnancies occur in the first month after the onset of sexual activity.
In girls under 14, the most common cause of pregnancy is rape or seduction by an adult, more often a relative or neighbor. So, 9-year-old Ilda Trujillo from Peru gave birth to cousin. The youngest mother in Russia, 11-year-old Valya Isaeva, was seduced by a 17-year-old boy to whom Valentina's grandmother rented a room. And 6-year-old Liza from Ukraine got pregnant... from her own grandfather!
All parents would like to think that their daughters have not matured yet, but, alas, since the beginning of puberty, no one is immune from unpleasant surprises.
To give birth or not to give birth?
Teenage pregnancy has its own characteristics and specific problems. Young girls are more fertile than adult women, their reproductive system is still intact, conception occurs quickly, sometimes eggs are released even before the first menstruation. A 17-18-year-old mother whose menarche began at 10-11 years old, and conception occurred in the first months of sexual activity, is likely to give birth to a healthy and strong baby. In particular, if he eats well, he will exclude alcohol, nicotine and dangerous entertainment.
But the teenager's body itself is not quite ready for pregnancy - the pelvic bones have not yet expanded enough, the hormonal background has not stabilized, body growth has not been completed. Underage mothers have a high risk of miscarriage, toxicosis, maternal and child mortality - girls under 15 are twice as likely to die during pregnancy or childbirth than adults. Of the less dangerous complications, anemia, insufficient weight gain, premature birth, low weight, hypoxia and birth trauma in newborns.
Young mothers are often not very responsible about their health, do not take vitamins, do not undergo examinations, drink alcohol, smoke and eat improperly. For a schoolgirl, pregnancy means serious problems with learning, home schooling or night school a few years later. Yes, and material problems should not be discounted.
Abortion in a nulliparous girl leads to serious consequences. Possible complications include bleeding, perforation of the uterus, adhesions in the ovaries and tubes, infertility, and blood poisoning. The psychological consequences of an early abortion, especially those carried out against the wishes of a young mother, remain for life. However, if conceived as a result of incest or rape, maintaining a pregnancy can lead to severe mental illness or suicide.
Deciding whether to keep early pregnancy or interrupt it, whether to leave the unborn child in the family or give it up for adoption, as is practiced in the United States, should be taken taking into account all possible factors. Consultations with the gynecologist, the psychologist, the social pedagogue are necessary. The opinion of the future mother must also be taken into account - you should not inflict additional trauma on the girl's psyche, forcing her to give birth or terminate the pregnancy.
Ambulance
When a schoolgirl tells her parents that she is pregnant, it is always shocking. However, parents do not have time for emotions - the daughter needs help.
First of all, the girl should be taken to the antenatal clinic, have an ultrasound scan, take tests and be examined - teenage sex often leads to STDs, moreover, a chance ectopic pregnancy quite large when young. A psychologist's consultation will also be useful, the young mother is most likely scared and excited. Then you should talk heart to heart with your daughter, in a calm atmosphere, without threats and reproaches. Specify whether the pregnancy is the result of violence or seduction, whether you need to contact the police. If the child's father is a teenager of the same age, talk to his parents too. And only then make a decision.
Termination of a teenager's pregnancy is best done as early as possible, in the best medical facility that the family can afford. Artificial childbirth on later dates extremely dangerous for the health and psyche of the girl. After the procedure, regular observation by a gynecologist, long rest and long work with a psychologist are necessary.
Pregnancy in a teenage girl, sadly, is the responsibility of her parents. You will have to control everything, from nutrition and taking vitamins to visits to the doctor. The support of the mother and close relatives, heart-to-heart talks, joint walks and gatherings are needed. If the family decided to leave the child, the girl will need courses for young mothers, training in caring for the baby, breastfeeding, household. The issue of education is solved individually. Well if future mom will have time to master a profession with the help of which he will be able to support himself and the baby. Marriage between teenagers, especially if both love each other and are ready to work for the good of the family, is also not the worst way out. There are times when such unions last for life.
I want cucumbers!
And yet, teenage pregnancy is one of those problems that is much easier to prevent than to solve. Even the most strict upbringing may not keep little Juliet from fatal mistakes, therefore, with girls entering puberty, one must talk not only about chastity and reasonable behavior, but also about contraception (parents who stubbornly avoid talking about sex should know that it is unreasonable to hope that the daughter will patiently wait exclusively for the prince on a white horse, who will shower her with roses). By the time of menarche, the girl should know where babies come from and how to prevent unplanned conception. Develop her prejudices that allegedly “there are no children from the first time”, “interrupted act protects”, etc. Tell about methods of emergency contraception and protection from STDs. Look for a teenage gynecologist - they will tell the doctor what they will keep silent about to their parents. It is good if condoms, contraceptive paste and pregnancy tests will be available at home (for example, in the first-aid kit) from now on. It is very important that a girl in a critical situation can discuss the problem with her parents without fear, and not take advantage of the barbaric advice of her girlfriends and not go for a criminal abortion.
Teenage girl pregnancy signs
1. An unreasonable delay in menstruation or a sharp decrease in discharge.
2. Breast augmentation, pain in the chest or lower abdomen.
3. Frequent urination.
4. Drowsiness, lethargy, constant fatigue.
5. Morning sickness and vomiting, aversion to strong odors.
6. Severely increased or decreased appetite, unexplained change in eating habits.
7. Weight gain, belly enlargement.
8. Brown spots on the face.
9. Edema on the face, hands and feet.
10. Sudden mood swings, tearfulness, irritability.
Sometimes in a girl, such symptoms can speak not only about pregnancy, but also about certain diseases - anemia, gastritis, kidney disease. A suggestible, nervous adolescent who has had sexual intercourse may develop a false pregnancy - a psychosomatic condition in which a woman has external signs of " interesting position", although conception did not occur.
Be attentive to girls during puberty, be sure to consult with doctors if your daughter's condition is apprehensive. Children are the flowers of life, let them bloom in time!
Is early childbirth a reward or a punishment? We talked to young mothers and found out what difficulties they have to face in life, whether it is possible to combine personal interests with a small child ... and how to tell a guy that he will be a father while he plays Dota.
Marita Bondarenko, 23 years old. Daughter Marta - 1 year 7 months
“When I got pregnant, I was 20 years old. I remember how I went to the toilet to do a pregnancy test, and my boyfriend at that moment was playing on the computer. I did not expect a positive result at all, especially since then I did the test almost every month. I leave the toilet, I say to my future husband: “I am pregnant. There are two stripes here. He did not believe me, and then, probably, only by my face and tone he realized that I was not joking. He jumped up, started hugging me, calling his mother - he says excitedly into the phone: “Soon you will become a grandmother!”
My toxicosis began immediately and lasted for almost the entire pregnancy. In general, it was difficult for me: I practically never went home, everything was in hospitals and in hospitals. My husband came to see me every day, whether it was weekdays or weekends.
Maternal instinct I have appeared only during pregnancy. But sometimes I was very scared, especially I was afraid of the birth itself. In general, when I dreamed of adulthood as a child, I could not really imagine either my own wedding or how I would live with my husband. I didn't even know anything about childcare. Frankly, I thought that everything was much simpler: I had never even heard of all sorts of colic and gaziki! I also had postpartum depression: I was nervous, tearful, and lashed out at my husband.
And her husband, when Marta was born, was constantly touched by her. True, at first he was afraid to take her in his arms. She will cry at night - he jumps up, runs up to the bed, but cannot pick it up - he is afraid. Calls us "my girls".
Before pregnancy, I managed to unlearn to be an accountant and a savings bank controller, now I am finishing my second education. But, to be honest, motherhood still forces a woman to make certain sacrifices, no matter how selfish it may sound. Nevertheless, I always wanted a family like my parents: so that in good relations- and for life. So we're going to strive for that."
Alexandra Alpatova, 24 years old. Daughter Christina, 5 months
“I managed to get a higher education, and when my boyfriend and I found out that I was pregnant, I had no doubts about the child. We were both very happy! Girlfriends who gave birth assured me: “Everyone has their own pain threshold! Do not worry!" Well, I decided in advance not to worry in vain about how everything will go. Pregnancy and childbirth passed without complications. Surprises began after - sleepless nights came in our lives. Now my husband and I live in a civil marriage - he works, and although there is not much money, and the child benefit is scanty, but there is enough for the three of us to live. What is my advice to new mothers? Do not be nervous in advance! And don't be nervous at all!"
Evgenia Adamova, 26, pregnant with her second child, gave birth to her first at 18
“I got pregnant for the first time at 17. Of course, I was scared, and first of all I was afraid that I would not be able to give the child everything necessary at such a young age. It's not about the material: thank God, at that time we already had an apartment and enough money. But I was afraid that I had too little experience to raise a child well. But over time, I realized how wrong I was.
Both my then-boyfriend and my mother received the news of the child wonderfully. We coped with all difficulties together. I read books, prepared for childbirth, tried not to worry. However, my pregnancy was very difficult. Once I noticed that the baby did not move for a long time, and I went to the doctors. It was evening, and I was told that the ultrasound could only be done the next day. They decided to check the fetal heartbeat, after which they told me that the child had died in the womb and that an operation should be performed in the morning. Can you imagine my reaction? She cried all night, she suffered. In the morning I had an ultrasound scan - it turned out that everything is in order, my daughter is alive. Since then, I have been very wary of medical recommendations. Despite the fact that we are no longer together with the father of our first child, we managed to maintain an excellent relationship. With his daughter Karina - she is now 7 years old - he is on excellent terms, often spends time with her, takes her to him, gives gifts, makes friends. My husband Sasha, from whom I am expecting my second child, also gets along well with him.
Now I am extremely happy that soon I will have a son from my beloved man. My husband is my support and pride, he cares a lot about us. True, now he serves in special forces in Krasnodar: he signed a contract, and soon our whole family will move there. The difference of 7 years between my children also makes me very happy. My daughter is like a friend to me, she is very understanding and loving. I think they will have a great relationship with their brother.
Of course, after I gave birth, I had to give up a lot. I finished only 9 classes of school. Naturally, further study at that time was out of the question. After that, I went to work, but so far I have not filled the gap with education. I think I still have everything ahead of me. I began to see my friends less often, to go out somewhere - this is normal. I don't think I've made any sacrifice: real friends won't stop talking to you knowing you're busy having a baby. Rather, they themselves will come to visit, and we will spend time together. By the way, now my daughter has perfectly joined the company of my friends - and they are very informal - and gets along well with them. Now we are looking forward to the birth of our son Dmitry. The name - it seems to me, very strong and "punching" - was chosen by the husband.
I'm just now beginning to think about the fears of young mothers. Believe me, everything they are afraid of is such a trifle! Many run for an abortion, thinking they don't have enough money. Or they take the life of a baby just because there is nowhere to live with a husband, and someone doesn’t even have a husband ... Now I’m even scared to think about it. Nothing to be afraid of, really! I fully realized this only when Karinochka grew up. Everything will be fine! The main thing is to live without fears, and then you will be able to give your children more than you could ever imagine!”
Photo: personal archive, Ksenia Maltz
