How to raise a happy and confident child? How to properly raise a child-boy and a child-girl? How to raise a child without punishment and without screaming? Raising a child in councils. how to raise kids the right way how to raise kids right

There is no perfect method for raising children. Babies, like adults, are different. Some are calm and thoughtful, while others are active and overly curious. The third are capricious and naughty, and the fourth are closed and silent. Only the mother knows the nature of the child, and it is she who chooses the methods and tips that work and help her develop the baby. Psychologists and educators can only suggest what should not be done in order to protect the fragile child's psyche from injury.

Mom, don't swear

Physical punishment has long been out of fashion. Babies are stubborn and slow, they drop or scatter something, making their mother nervous and angry, but petty pranks are not a reason for slaps on the pope. The belt is a beautiful accessory that is not intended for raising children. As well as twigs, skipping ropes and other devices for torture.

Anger spills out in the gym or on forums for moms, where parents complain about fatigue and naughty babies. IN real life conflict situations with a child are resolved by conversations and civilized punishments:

  1. A boycott that lasts 20–30 minutes.
  2. A chair for reflection, from which it is forbidden to get up until the time is up.
  3. Deprivation of favorite toys: dinosaurs and dolls are taken from young children, phones and tablets from teenagers.

You can’t allow a child everything in the world and approve of his bad behavior, but they don’t recommend screaming for small mistakes. Toddlers with whom they speak exclusively in raised tones grow up nervous and withdrawn. It is difficult for such children to get rid of low self-esteem and fear of doing something wrong.

Moms are ordinary people, not robots, so they have breakdowns. Yelled, slapped and sent to a corner? It’s not scary if the woman then cools down, calms down and asks the baby for forgiveness for her bad behavior.

I myself

Children who can walk are able to take care of themselves or even help their mother. They try to sweep, wash the dishes, make the bed, eat and dress without their parents. Putting the right shoe on the left foot, breaking some plates and spreading rubbish all over the house, but that's okay. They learn to be independent, and the task of the mother is not to interfere, but to prompt and quietly help.

You can not protect children from domestic work. Did your son offer to wash the dishes after the family dinner so that mom could rest? Give him a sponge in his hands and show him where the sink is. Did your daughter decide to make a bookshelf? Not to forbid, but to provide boards, nails and everything necessary.

Preschoolers are able to make the bed and put away their toys, bake pies under their mother's guidance and walk the dog. Teenagers can earn money by delivering newspapers and helping retirees. And it’s not scary if a child has become independent from an early age. You need to rejoice, and not be afraid that he will not have a childhood.

Toddlers who are overprotected grow up infantile and lazy. They are in no hurry to look for work and move out from their parents, to achieve something in adulthood. Forty-year-old men and women go to the doctor by the hand with their mother, remain lonely and unhappy.

Curiosity is not a vice

How does a child get to know this world? Asking questions. He is interested in why birds fly so high, how fish live under water, and where he came from. Children's curiosity must be satisfied. Tell, show examples, conduct experiments and look for answers together. If mom or dad doesn't know how the plane works, it doesn't matter. At hand they have the Internet, smart books and the magic phrase: "Let's see together."

With a child, you can talk on any topic, even "adults", but choose your words carefully. There is no need to replace the names of the genital organs with “pestles” and “bells”. But it is enough for a five-year-old kid to know that children appear only in adults who have fallen in love and exchanged bodily fluids. Teenagers are also recommended to talk in detail about the process of fertilization, sex and other nuances.

One of the biggest mistakes parents make is brushing aside or responding aggressively to their children's questions. Gradually, the child loses interest in the world around him and realizes that mom and dad will not satisfy his need for knowledge. He ceases to trust adults, seeks support from peers or other people, to whom he will then come for advice if problems arise.

When talking to children, parents become closer. They turn into friends and mentors with whom you can share secrets and experiences, ask strange and exciting questions and not be afraid that you will be judged or misunderstood. Children should be curious, because thanks to this trait they become geniuses.

Young Talents

Moms once dreamed of becoming ballerinas or singers, and dads wanted to score penalties or knock down an opponent with one blow. Adults try to make models and football players out of children if they themselves could not master this profession. But children do not always share the interests of their parents. Sons want to dance, and daughters stubbornly study chemistry and cross indoor flowers.

It's not illegal to be different. You do not need to enroll your child in violin lessons if he likes astronomy or drawing more. Children have their own preferences, which should be considered and developed. Give them colored pencils, musical instruments, or karate uniforms. Encourage any undertakings and rejoice if the child managed to take second or third place.

And if the kid does not like to draw and beat the drum, do not be upset. Perhaps he will become a businessman or a music critic, a famous engineer, or open his own restaurant.

golden children

Pasha has a tablet, Serezha was bought a radio-controlled helicopter, and Masha was presented with gold earrings. Parents try to make their children look no worse than their neighbors, and buy expensive toys for five-year-olds and schoolchildren. You can spoil the child, but in moderation.

The latest computer won't make him happy. Yes, children enjoy luxurious gifts, but then they demand more and complain that their parents do not pay attention to them. Smartphones and jewelry won't make kids happy.

Parents should ask themselves the question, what moments from childhood do they remember? Buying a tape recorder and jeans? Or hiking in the mountains with your parents? Campfire in nature, when dad taught to fish, and mom showed how to cook a delicious fish soup or make a fire?

Children need impressions and a sense of a fairy tale. Memories of how they sculpted a snowman with their parents, received chocolates from a bunny and waited for Santa Claus. How they roasted marshmallows and slept in tents. The first time they fell off a bike, and my mother was smearing green paint on her broken knees, and my father was blowing so that it would not be hot.

Yes, sometimes children want to look no worse than their classmates, boast about fashionable phones and trips to Egypt. But if you indulge all the whims, the child will grow up spoiled and unprepared for real life, where you need to earn what you want with hard work, and not ask mom and dad.

Socialization

You can not close the child in four walls. Communicating with peers or older children, he learns the rules of behavior in a team. Develops communication skills that will be useful to him in later life. Gradually relieves shyness and finds friends.

The child does not have to be sent to kindergarten, because there are playgrounds and other mothers who will gladly go for a walk together. You can organize holidays and invite your baby's friends, take him to sections and development centers.

The child will have to join the society, where he will contact with bad and good people. From the age of 3-4, they explain to a kid that you can’t be silent or just stand and cry while he is offended. It is better to fight back hooligans or too arrogant persons who take away his toys. At the same time, they explain to the child that it is very bad to offend weak children and animals. They need protection and care. They share toys and sweets with them, help them build sand castles and solve math.

Active children easily find a common language with strangers. So that trouble does not happen to the baby, mom talks about evil uncles and aunts. They deceive children and then hurt them. Smart guys never take toys and candy from strangers, but always run home or call other adults if the bad guys try to drag them somewhere.

Preventive conversations will protect the life of the baby and teach him to be careful, because the mother will not be able to constantly watch him and protect him from everything in the world.

little adults

Children are smart and quickly learn new information. They can be serious and reasonable, they know how to plan and dream. You need to talk to a child like an adult. Ask for opinions, discuss family problems. Teach your child to take responsibility for their own actions. If he wanted a dog, and the parents gave him a puppy, then the young owner is obliged to walk and feed the animal, bathe and clean up after the pet. Does your child need a phone? Let him collect money donated for his birthday and other holidays, save and plan his budget, look for part-time jobs.

At the same time, parents cannot forbid their children to do something, using the argument: "You are still small." The child is equated either with an adult and intelligent member of the family, or with a stupid and dependent one, but he also acts accordingly.

No criticism

To whom do children tell about all the achievements? Parents. The child shares dreams and shows the first results, expecting to hear praise. Criticism kills children's dreams and aspirations, underestimates self-esteem. If adults want to raise a talented artist or a brilliant singer, they should support and admire his first inept attempts. Carefully suggest what needs to be corrected, what to learn.

Some children reveal their potential even under a hail of condemnation and criticism, but there are only a few of them. The rest just make two or three attempts, and then give up the dream, because the mother considers it bad and unrealistic.

real hero

Toddlers imitate their parents, schoolchildren and teenagers copy only some character traits. In order for a child to understand what kindness and wisdom, fortitude and striving for the best are, adults must become an example for him of all positive qualities.

Moms and dads are encouraged to develop and never stop. Don't sit on the couch waiting for something, but move forward. Demonstrate to your children that everything in the world is possible if you really want and work hard.

Small children are like soft clay, which in the right hands will turn into a beautiful vase. It depends on the parents what the child will become: confident and purposeful or frightened and infantile. Under the influence of mom and dad, his life priorities and character are formed. They, like all ordinary people, can make mistakes and experiment, but the main thing is to do it with love.

Video: how to raise a child

All new parents need to know how to properly raise a child from birth. The opinion that it is necessary to raise a baby at a time when he is already walking and talking is quite erroneous. It is on what foundation is laid in the character of a child in the period up to 1 year that his further development and perception of the world and society will depend.

Conventionally, the development of a baby in the first year of life is divided into 4 stages, each for 3 months. One can only imagine how much strength it will take for the crumbs to learn so much in just 1 year. Therefore, a huge responsibility falls on the shoulders of parents, advice from pediatricians and child psychologists will help here.

The first stage of a child's development lasts from the moment of birth until he is 3 months old. It is at this time that it is very important to help the child get used to the world around him, hygiene, to teach the first skills of communication and sensory perception.

In the first weeks of life, the baby does not need anything other than satisfaction of hunger, good health and good sleep. However, then there comes a moment when, in addition to basic desires, the child begins to look around, studying and observing. It is important from this moment to teach him to contemplate everything with his head held high, for which you need to turn him over on his stomach, even if this causes protest. Over time, this will become a good habit.

Particular attention must be paid to hygiene. Already from the cradle, you need to teach your baby to wash every morning. Even a simple diaper change will gradually accustom the child to cleanliness, and over time, he himself will show that the time has come for hygiene procedures.

Be sure to include in the development and education of young children. To do this, all procedures should be accompanied by gentle conversations, singing songs. Each of your actions needs to be voiced, commented on, told what exactly is happening to him right now. A smile in a conversation will lay the foundations of a culture of communication and make a child happier.

Do not forget that it is from birth that you need to accustom the baby to independence. To do this, you need to teach him to be alone in the crib for some time, cooing and playing with his first toys. Hanging carousels are perfect for this, which both entertain and develop the child's visual and sensory skills.

Second stage of development

When the baby reaches 3 months, the second stage of development begins. At this stage, babies begin to learn in depth to talk, communicate, distinguish things around them. It is very difficult for them to do this on their own, so it is on the shoulders of mom and dad that the responsibility for such an important period of growth and education falls.

It is very important at this time to include music for the child, especially classical music and children's songs. In addition, you need to pay the baby's attention to the sounds of the surrounding nature, while accompanying all this with comments.

It is necessary to talk with the baby as often as possible, especially during active play. Be sure to include toys in the form of animals, while trying to involve him in the game Who says what. Already at such a young age, children begin to distinguish colors, shapes, materials by touch. In addition, they actively begin to study their body, so it is very important to pronounce the names of body parts during the daily developmental massage. Do not forget that all conversations with the baby should be conducted in a gentle and affectionate tone.

Don't forget the importance physical development in children 3-6 months. At the beginning of this period, all babies already hold their heads tightly, try to concentrate their attention on some object and try to grab it and hold it tightly. But a strong desire to learn everything new makes the baby rise, try to sit down in order to see as much space as possible around him. They increasingly demand attention to themselves, ask for hands, it is already much more difficult for them to lie in one place for a long time.

An important place at this stage of development of children is occupied by toys. Balls, soft cubes with multi-colored pictures, rubber squeakers will help parents to bring up tactile, sensory and auditory reactions in the baby. And teethers will help to cope with the discomfort caused by the appearance of the first teeth.

Growing up after reaching half a year

Methods for raising children of six months of age are radically moving into an active phase. At this age, babies begin to sit down, learn to crawl, try to get up and even walk. Very often it is at this stage, if they do not know the rules of raising young children.

It seems to adults that the safety of the crumbs is the most important priority, while forgetting that encouraging curiosity, exploratory manifestations is no less important.

Constant bans will put the baby in a dead end. It would be more correct to allow him to fully explore everything around him, but to remove all dangerous objects out of reach. Cabinets and shelves should be filled with toys, and not locked and constantly walking for a child, repeating the words of prohibitions.

It's time to start potty training your offspring, sitting him down after sleeping, feeding, walking. Over time, it will become clear to him what they want from him, and it is quite possible that soon he himself will begin to give signs of natural needs.

Hygiene rules during this period begin to include the mandatory washing of hands before eating, after the street. In addition, the formation of a culture of cleanliness at this age is possible through teaching brushing teeth. To do this, in our time, there are special toothbrushes that are put on the finger and, at the same time as cleaning, perfectly massage the gums.

Since the baby is already sitting up and most parents are starting to introduce supplemental food, bibs should be used. At the same time, it is necessary to verbally pronounce the negative aspects of dirty clothes and the positive aspects of cleanliness and neatness.

Also very important at this age play activity- with its help the child learns the world. Relevant games are patty and cuckoo, the study of parts of the face. You need to start by studying them on your favorite toy, and then searching on your own face. Games with toys will become more difficult: it's time to explain to the baby that the ball can roll, the wheels of the car are spinning. It will be interesting for him to receive as a gift a musical entertainment center, toys from different material and size. Bathing toys will be of particular interest.

Period from 9 months to 1 year

Features of the upbringing of young children, especially when they are almost 1 year old, are primarily in physical development. Toddlers are already starting to walk, holding on to objects or mother's hand, they may be able to get up from a sitting position. Although very often after the baby has begun to crawl, he loses interest in walking on his feet. In this case, it is the responsibility of the parents to push him to the desire to stand and walk. Toys that need to be held with both hands will help in this, the need to reach them from a standing position.

Closer to the age of one, children actively respond to conversations with adults. Games with other children of the same age have a positive effect on their mental development.

The toys are getting more complex. Folding pyramids will help to understand the difference between colors, sizes, develop fine motor skills hands, tactile sensations. Unexpected finds cause joy, and the child begins to understand and desire surprises, as in the case of playing with nesting dolls.

The kid is already ready to perceive such words as impossible, bad and good. It is important to point out to the child those things that are forbidden, to encourage good behavior. You need to teach your child to love by example. the world, animals and other children. In the case when children fight, you need to strictly explain that this is bad, you can’t do this. The main thing in this case is the persistence and obligatory reaction of the child to the words of adults.

Proper upbringing of children from birth is an important basis for the further development of a full-fledged member of society. Home

Does a child need expensive toys? Do you need soup? Is it enough for three circles and two sports sections or do you need more? Is it easier to teach him to fold things? How to properly raise children so that they grow up to be happy, rich and versatile personalities? Victoria Romanova answers questions from parents.

Myth #1. A child needs to eat a lot in order to grow.

In fact, the one who eats a lot grows the fastest in breadth, not up. Especially with a sedentary lifestyle. It used to be impossible to keep a child at home. Children were constantly in a hurry to go somewhere: to the circle, to the music school, the sports section, and just to the yard. And now they mostly sit at home, buried in electronic toys, and constantly snack on harmful chips, soda, chocolate bars. Naturally, biological rhythms are disturbed, which is simply dangerous for health.

How to properly raise children in a society of hyperconsumption? First of all, remember that a child who overeats constantly experiences discomfort, heaviness in the stomach. He wants to lie down, he becomes lethargic and lack of initiative. And this immediately affects his health and behavior.

In order for a child to grow and develop properly, it is necessary that he receive a maximum of useful substances and a minimum of ballast from food. Breakfast should be energy-intensive, rich in quickly digestible carbohydrates. A hot lunch should contain a balanced amount of protein, vitamins and trace elements necessary for a growing body. And finally, dinner should be light, not overloading the stomach, easily digestible. Compliance with a balanced diet is considered one of the main points in the difficult science of how to properly raise children.

Myth #2. For normal development, the child needs the best toys.

Many parents believe that children need the most expensive and colorful toys: mind-blowing dollhouses that are only slightly inferior in price to real ones; baby dolls, who, just looking, will start talking; electronic cars, which Schumacher himself dreamed of as a child ... And much more that his parents themselves did not have.

This is fundamentally wrong.

The abundance of toys narrows the scope of children's imagination and does not stimulate the development of creative abilities!

Remember, in childhood we made toys literally from nothing - ropes, cones, paper clips. But was it fun to play?

Our student Alina told how she accidentally abandoned bright, non-educational toys: “Our daughter was a long-awaited child, and therefore, after the birth, we spoiled her without measure. My husband has very wealthy parents who raised three children, and I never doubted for a moment that they know how to raise children properly. Therefore, our princess received the most wonderful toys that a girl can have. And, it would seem, she should have been ahead of her peers in development, but at the age of 4 she still refused to talk ... And then His Majesty Chance intervened. I ended up in the hospital, my husband was planning an important business trip , and his parents went on vacation. Therefore, the daughter was hastily taken to the village to my aunt, who had no idea how to raise children properly. The baby lived there for a month, and when we took her away, we could not believe that this was our girl. She spoke 1000 words per minute, about everything.And instead of toys in the village she had only a sandbox, pebbles and an old rag doll.But her daughter did not want to part with her, the nondescript doll became her favorite toy. And expensive Barbies gather dust on the shelves. It was the lack of "completed" toys that pushed my daughter to such a leap in speech development, because the aunt did not try to occupy the child with "ready-made" toys, but offered to stick sand cakes or lay out a cat from pebbles. My daughter liked it so much that she constantly reported on her achievements and began to talk a lot and well..

Myth #3. A child should live better than his parents

Many parents invest their last money in the education of their children, buy them expensive clothes sent on overseas trips. And they believe that this will make the child absolutely happy. But in reality, this does not always lead to the expected result. For a child to become successful, his parents must be successful and happy. After all, children are miniature copies of us.

If you do not develop, do not have any hobbies and do not communicate with interesting people, the child will grow up the same.

Our student had a similar situation, which she shared once at one of the seminars.

Svetlana K.: "How to raise children correctly? Do everything possible so that they do not need anything! That's what I once thought. Therefore, I worked from morning to evening, moonlighting wherever possible in order to be able to buy her branded items, expensive gadgets. But closer to adolescence, my daughter was changed. She began to study poorly, be rude, we quarreled almost every day. Once she even said that she would leave home if I didn’t buy her a new phone ... She was only interested in the material side of life - things, things, things. And then I realized that I myself talk all the time and think only about money. That year I decided to try myself in a new capacity - I became the representative of the Academy in our city. I was fascinated by the business, I always talked with different people, with interesting Introduced my daughter to them, and she "thawed out." A couple of times she even helped me distribute flyers of our seminars, and then she plunged into volunteering - she began to look after horses at one stable and learned to ride. Recently she won regional competitions, for everything prize bought apples and carrots for their wards. I am very proud of her and always tell our new students about her.".

Myth number 4. A child should have a carefree happy childhood

Of course, it is a natural desire to save your child from all the difficulties that come his way. And an ordinary mother considers all household issues as difficulties - cleaning, cooking, buying groceries. Children grown in greenhouse conditions are absolutely not ready for adulthood. They cannot serve themselves elementarily - sew on a button, fry an egg, clean up their room.

How to properly raise children? Enter a set of responsibilities for the child. Let it be simple household things - make a bed, put away toys, pour cat food. You can give points for this, with which he can buy what he wants. Then the child will remember from childhood that nothing is given for nothing. Small deeds are the foundation of future character.

The more skills your child has, the more successful he will be in adulthood. And more responsible!

There is a phrase: if you want a happy future for your child, give him a difficult childhood. No, you don’t have to force him to wash in the hole and butcher the carcass of a cow, but to teach him to be useful is priceless!

Myth number 5. Children don't understand

The mistake that many parents make is to swear and sort things out in front of the child. He's small, he still won't understand or remember anything. But modern science has proven the exact opposite. Toddlers who are not yet a year old perceive 90% of the information, and we, adults, only 5%.

Moreover, the child equally "absorbs" both good and bad. If you are annoyed, offended, angry, scandalous, screaming, always dissatisfied with everything, you lay in the child those character traits that you yourself will not like. In a couple of years, your baby will be a complete critic.

Will such a child be happy? Can he become successful, rich, loved? Will he (if it is a boy) be an enviable groom? Of course not! How to properly raise children? To lay in it the right emotions and aspirations as early as childhood!

From birth, children learn everything unusual around them, begin to repeat movements, facial expressions, actions, words after adults. They discover more and more knowledge about the world, about life, they strive to learn something.

By nature, every child has a desire to develop. But what exactly can make a child truly happy, reveal all his talents, skills that were given to him at the very beginning of his journey? Where to look for the answer to this question? And how to develop and educate a child correctly?

How to raise a child right

In our family replenishment - a boy was born. Here he is already taking his first steps, uncertainly rearranging his legs, but wants to keep up with his mother. She is always ready to help him on occasion, to keep him from falling at the right moment! And then she begins to pronounce the first words, and mother smiles with tenderness, brushing away a stubborn tear from her eyes that breaks out from such an unprecedented joy. For the first time to hear how your own baby says this word: “Mom..aa!”

As parents, we strive to teach our children necessary things. Among the variety of proposed methods of education, I want to find a universal one. To raise your child to be a happy person. But until that moment, when he is confident to go through life on his own, he needs to be guided, developed and educated. The closest people, parents, are ready to provide him with protection from external threats, support at the right time, surround him with care, attention and love, create the necessary conditions for his life. But how can this be achieved?

It happens that it doesn't work. The child may be hysterical, not hear the arguments, the advice of the parents. Do often what he pleases. And then there comes a moment when mom or dad wonders why this happens? What was missing in education. How to fix the situation to

And then each parent wants to get an answer to his specific question, to solve his particular case. But they all have something in common - the desire to find an understanding of why it doesn’t work, and to find out how it is to raise a child correctly?

The thing is, it's just a process of development. Children can misbehave, disobey, express aggression and act up. But this process is controlled by adults. To raise an ideal person, you need to know a number of systemic rules on how to develop a child.

It is important to teach him this from an early age. Then he will be able to develop correctly, realizing his developed talents and skills in adulthood. Learn to enjoy life, enjoy every day you live.

The article was written using the materials of the training on systems-vector psychology Yuri Burlan.

All parents, when they first find out that they will have a baby, begin to figure out how their child will grow up, what he will do. When a child is born, grows up and does not justify the hopes of mom and dad, it seems that a feeling of deep disappointment comes to everyone - both to parents and to the baby. To prevent this from happening to you and your child, we will tell you in this article how to raise a happy child, and from this you yourself experience moral satisfaction.

When it comes to raising a child in your family, wise grandmothers and mothers will certainly immediately begin to show activity. They want to teach you how to properly communicate and develop a child who is seen much less often than you.

Immediately in such cases, you need to abstract from everything that you hear, unless, of course, you personally asked for advice from your relatives. The point is that there is no general principle right upbringing. For each child, parents must find individual approach. What can be applied to one child, in relation to another - is categorically impossible. It is more logical to follow the advice of professional psychologists who understand exactly how to raise a child so that he grows up confident, intelligent, happy and sociable:

  1. You should always have a calm environment in your home. All family members should take care of each other and love. In such a harmonious and gentle atmosphere, it will be easier for a child to open up and show the essence that nature has in him.
  2. Each parent must carefully, first of all, monitor not the behavior of the child, but their own, because the baby only reflects how you behave.
  3. Become a personal example for the child - eat right, play sports, do not swear, do not use foul language in front of children, do not gossip. It is important to always be in good mood so that the child accepts your behavior as the norm and behaves in the same way.
  4. Never rush into making decisions about how to respond to a child's behavior. There are cases when a cry or indifference can enslave the baby. To prevent this from happening, look carefully at what your child is doing, what he requires of you.
  5. Do not demand anything from the child - you can only ask him. For some kids, it is very difficult to understand what is wanted from them. If the baby did not do what you wanted from him, this is not a tragedy, but a manifestation of character and his temperament, which you must reckon with.

  1. You must teach your child to take care of himself. But you need to learn personal example. Always look good, do not allow violations of the daily routine. It should become the norm for the baby that at a certain period of the day you need to do important things, and at other times it is permissible to have fun in order to relax.
  2. Your child must know the limits of what is permitted in behavior, and you must also limit yourself to them so that the child gets used to the fact that there are things that cannot be done under any pretext.
  3. It is very important that you perceive your child as he is, and not try to remake him, focusing on someone else's child. No one knows how to raise someone else's child, what methods his parents use to make him right and good. The task of every mother is to help the child to reveal his own advantages over other children, to develop precisely his talents.
  4. Be consistent in your actions. If you promise, do it; if you say, keep your word. Otherwise, the kid will understand that everything that his parents tell him is not important, because at any moment they can be made to change their mind.
  5. Never reproach your child for anything - you reproduced him into the world not so that he becomes a burden for you, but in order to have a continuation of himself. Your task is to love, care for and provide for your child, these are the foundations of a happy childhood for every child.

On the World Wide Web, you can find many books on how to raise a child. They will be given helpful tips, but this does not mean that all of them are applicable in relation to your baby.

You should be guided in actions exclusively by the individual characteristics of your crumbs. That's when he grows up wonderful person, with a good heart, open mind and many perspectives.

How to raise a child with self-confidence?

Self-confidence is one of the main qualities that every person should have. It helps us achieve our goals, defend our own point of view and at the same time always live in harmony with ourselves. Some mothers and fathers think that if they praise their child all the time, then his self-esteem will only increase from this. But only sometimes it can rise to such an extent that the child grows up as a narcissistic egoist who does not know how to listen and respect other people's opinions.

We will share with you some tips on how to raise a child so that he grows up self-confident, but not narcissistic:

  1. Do not praise your child in a judgmental way. If you tell him that he is the smartest, most beautiful, then when it turns out that he is not really like that (they will tell him about it, he will understand it himself), then he will begin to have a split personality. He will begin to worry very much because he does not correspond to the words of his mother, who herself only believes in what she says. The child must adequately treat himself, objectively.
  2. Praise your child only for the result of his work and for good deeds. But always leave him a lead so he doesn't think his great behavior is the limit to his development.
  3. Do not influence your child, but guide him. You should not discuss the baby, his personal character traits with someone. You should discuss with the child the situation in which something did not work out for him. For example, if he got a bad mark at school, you don’t have to scold him right away for it, it’s better to indicate what needs to be done so that this doesn’t happen again.

  1. Do not insult your child for being clumsy in some way. Better encourage once again. This will instill in him the confidence that it is possible to make mistakes, the main thing is to correct in time, to draw conclusions so that the mistakes do not happen again.
  2. Give your child the right to make choices. You don't have to tell him. You can ask him, and he will decide for himself whether to answer your request or not. As a rule, children feel that their parents need his help because they respect him, appreciate him, and treat him as an equal member of the family. If this is the case for you, then the baby will never refuse to fulfill a request that will be addressed to him.
  3. Teach your child independence. Let him come to you not to ask permission to do something, let him ask for your advice. He will learn to listen to you, but at the same time he will make his own decisions.
  4. When discussing a family issue, be sure to ask the child's opinion. He must know that nothing will be decided for him, that his point of view has the same weight as the opinion of dad and mom. In general, talk to your child more often different topics. Answer his questions clearly and truthfully.
  5. Do not try to pay off the child. Some parents, due to the fact that they do not pay enough attention to their child, buy him expensive branded items. But by this they lower the self-esteem of their child. True happiness cannot be material. Sooner or later, the baby will understand this anyway and point out to you that you did not pay enough attention to him.

  1. Thank your child for what he does for you. If he hears that you appreciate his actions, he will feel more confident about this. The child will understand that he has a feeling dignity respected by those closest to him.
  2. You can not expose the baby to overprotection. He must fall, knock down his knees, eat cold ice cream and wallow in the sand, because this is a normal process of adapting a child to the world around him. If you deprive him of all this, he will not know how to behave if something happens to him that you have not controlled, and this is a direct consequence of self-doubt.

Keep in mind that trying to raise a child under the age of 1 year with self-confidence is pointless, because his main task during this period of time is to grow and develop.

It is also pointless to try to start such education when the child is already more than 10 years old. Begin education in this regard when your child is 3 years old.

How to raise a successful child?

Successful people are not born, but made. In the process of becoming such a person, the activity of parents plays an important role. They should help the child to master some skills, instill in him an understanding of the importance of the institution of the family in life and the presence of good friends nearby.

We share with you tips on how to raise a successful child:

  1. Get started with your baby as soon as possible. Schools are very popular now early development where classes are held with children from birth. Of course, it is not necessary to try to teach a child to count and read right from the age of 1 month. It is best to start doing this when the baby is 2.5 - 3 years old.
  2. Don't let your child get bored. All classes that you conduct with him must be presented to him in game form, because it is the game for the baby - best form knowledge.

  1. If your baby is not getting something, you should not ignore his emotions. Be sure to communicate with the baby in a calm intonation, without ambition, explain that nothing can be achieved without mistakes.
  2. Do not constantly tell your child that he is small - this is the main rule of how to educate the character of a child. In order for him to grow up independent and responsible, treat him like an adult, so that he understands that his opinion is important, that his “I” is respected in the family. Otherwise, he will grow up as an obedient hired worker, but he will never want to occupy a leadership position.
  3. Be sure to do difficult disciplines with your child together. If you teach mathematics, teach him some rules, it is important for the child to feel that you want to sincerely help him.
  4. Try to prevent the child from doing what he wants less. If he's interested in the TV remote, give it to him. Let him press the buttons, figure out what kind of object it is. You help him figure out how the remote works and what it is for.
  5. Pay more attention to the development of the child's imagination. It is imagination that helps children in adulthood to cope with the difficulties that arise on their own. To do this, be sure to develop the baby creatively - let him draw, dance, sing, play musical instruments.
  6. Teach your child to be mindful of their desires and dreams. They don't have to be fantastic. This will help the child learn from childhood that dreams can come true if you go to them, setting a goal.
  7. Do not give electronic gadgets to your baby too often. Let them perceive these things as toys, and not as ways of knowing the world. Inspire your child that the best way to understand many sciences is a book. Read with him, discuss what you read.
  8. Develop your child's oratory skills. From childhood, he must learn to clearly and clearly formulate his thoughts and desires.
  9. Address your baby by name. Do not abuse diminutive words. When the baby grows up, goes to school, they will address him there exclusively by name, which the baby must love, respect and hear him in order to do what the teachers require of him.

  1. Make a "Wall of Achievement" in the child's room. Hang there all his diplomas, commendations, drawings drawn by him and much more. When the child looks at them, he will begin to strive to do something else to replenish his piggy bank of achievements.
  2. Do not impose friends on your child. You may not like them, but the baby must decide for himself whether to communicate with such children who walk with him in the yard or not. If you instill in him the right values, then, thanks to them, he will quickly understand who can be his friend and who is not. Allow your baby to arrange gatherings with friends at home. You will figure out how he knows how to adapt in society, how other children perceive him.
  3. Choosing for a child educational institution, pay attention to the level of development of the children who study in it. If you do not want the baby to fall under the bad influence of children from dysfunctional families at an age when his psyche is being formed, then do not give him to regular school or kindergarten. Choose an institution where the baby can feel comfortable and will have the opportunity to fully develop.
  4. If your baby was born with special needs, don't dwell on it. He must understand that his peculiarity should not prevent him from living a full life. It is impossible for the whole world to revolve around this feature. Learning to survive in a society with some kind of flaw is difficult, but not a problem if you present yourself correctly.

Please note that all of the above rules may not apply to all children in a row. If you are raising 2 children, then each of them will need to choose their own approach, taking into account their type of temperament and nervous system.

Features of raising boys and girls

When raising a child, it is necessary to take into account not only his temperament, but also gender. Of course, any child needs to be loved, cared for and trusted. Only boys and girls need all this to varying degrees, because they have absolutely different physiological and psychological needs.

We will share with you the basic principles that should be followed in the process of raising a daughter and son:

  1. How to raise a child-boy:
  • If you give the boy some task, do not tell him exactly what he must do so that he can think of it on his own.
  • It is pointless to argue with the boy for a long time. If you punish him, then your speech should be short, but understandable. Let the child learn to think about his behavior and behave like a man.
  • Keep in mind that the boy will not sit in one place for a long time, doing some kind of educational task, because he will quickly become mentally exhausted.
  • Boys in early age can be bullies who never obey their parents. But as they grow older, they become calmer and more obedient.
  • Boys who have reached the age of 5 need to be developed, revealing to them the basics of the exact sciences.
  • Do not force your 7-year-old son to share his experiences with you. If he wants to, he will tell.
  • Do not scold your son for aggressiveness, which can begin to manifest in him from 2.5 years old. This is a normal phenomenon in the process of psychological and physical development of the child.
  • The father should be more involved in the upbringing of the son than the mother. This is especially true for children under the age of 5. It is the father who instills in his son a love for sports, physical labor, the ability to work and achieve goals.
  • Trust your son in everything so that an inner core develops in him. Do not run after him to wipe his snot or put on a hat, do not defend when he quarrels with someone, create difficulties for him so that he learns to cope with them on his own.
  • Don't help your son with anything. Especially when he reaches 6 years old. By this age, he should understand that he must help his parents and everyone who needs his help.
  • Show your son what he can achieve in life, tell him that you believe that he will cope with everything. Your son should become a man in childhood - grow up not as a pet with horns, but as a courageous person with wings, with which he will protect his relatives and friends from troubles.
  • Praise your son only on the merits. Do not criticize him if something did not work out. The boy must grow up and know that he needs to achieve everything, work out, get it with his own work. If he thinks that he already has talent, future, beauty, then he will not have an incentive to act.

  1. How to raise children-girls:
  • If you give a task to your daughter, then first clearly demonstrate how it needs to be done so that everything works out right.
  • If you want to punish your daughter, then you first need to specifically explain to her what she did wrong, and only after that announce what she will be deprived of for her misconduct.
  • A girl should not be allowed to have fun for a long time, because she can be emotionally exhausted, and after that she will not undertake to do a single thing.
  • Girls can be obedient only at an early age, and in the course of growing up, change their character for the worse.
  • Girls who have reached the age of 5 need to be developed, revealing to them the basics of the humanities.
  • Do not turn away from your 7-year-old daughter if he wants to tell you some burning story from his life. It is important for a girl to speak out and consult.
  • In the upbringing of a daughter, the personality of the mother plays an important role, which becomes an example for the girl in everything. Mom should teach her daughter to do housework, be beautiful, be able to do needlework, cook food.
  • A girl should be surrounded by care from birth, so that she knows that she must grow up not strong woman but loving and tender. Try to protect and protect her from everything superfluous, do not charge her with many responsibilities, do not force her to do anything. The baby must learn to treat herself like a jewel - after all, this is the best protection for her. Then she will never allow herself to be offended by anyone in her adult life, because she will know the price of her dignity.
  • Praise your daughter more often without worrying that she might be arrogant. That won't happen. On the contrary, she will begin to strive for you to praise her, and she will also do everything for this. But you are not guided by this, but simply by the fact that you have given birth to beauty in this world. Believe me, your pride in your daughter will not help her in life. A girl should grow up and know that everyone should love her not because she is an excellent student, but simply because she was born.

But we note that even if you are raising 3 children, and they are all of the same sex, then the above principles will need to be adjusted to their psychological characteristics.

How to raise children without punishment and screams?

Many parents mistakenly believe that if they do not punish their children, they will think that everything in this life is permissible for them. On the contrary, this method of raising a child without shouting and punishing allows the baby to develop better, make mistakes and cope with them on their own. If you punish a child, then let him know that he cannot control his own behavior, that only adults should do this. All the same, the baby will not learn something if you punish him, on the contrary, he will become stubborn, vindictive and cruel. Instead of sitting in a corner and thinking about the consequences of his bad behavior, he will think about how to get revenge on the one who punished him.

Instead of punishing your child, try changing parenting tactics. Remember that when the child grows up, you will lose all authority in his eyes, and he will still begin to show his essence. What to do to show the baby that you are not happy with his behavior:

  1. Very strictly, but without shouting, tell him that such a child's behavior is unacceptable for your family.
  2. Encourage your child to deal with the consequences of their behavior on their own. I spilled something, which means I have to take it and wipe it up. He will hysteria, but if you do not respond to his tantrum, he will do everything. Show patience and wisdom.
  3. Tell your child that you suffer a lot when he behaves like this. It is possible that this will force him to change his behavior.
  4. Do not say that you will punish the child in such and such a way if he does something bad.
  5. Instead of standing in the corner for a long time, ask the child to go to his room to think about his behavior. He should be there alone for exactly as many minutes as his age.

Raising a child is a daily work that is beyond the power of many modern parents. But you can always fix things. Show to your children everything that you want them and other people to show to you personally. Do not believe stereotypes, do not listen to intrusive advice. Be attentive to the child, love him, trust him and be friends with him. Then you will grow up a kind, happy and successful person.

Video: "Features of education according to the type of child's temperament"



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