Family and Society. Family concept

The dream of a marriage that is "made in heaven" is completely unrealistic; over any sustainable relationship between a man and a woman, you need to constantly work, build and rebuild, constantly updating them through mutual personal development.
Family is the most important thing in the world. If you don't have a family, consider that you have nothing. Family is the strongest bond in your life.
Johnny Depp

Family plays a huge role in the success of any person. And in most cases, she becomes the most valuable gift destiny for each of us. So what is a family, what-how is it?

What is a family: definition

A family is a group of people based on consanguinity or marriage. This is a small group whose members are connected by a common life (established order Everyday life), mutual help, obtaining sexual pleasures (for husband and wife), giving birth and raising children.

This includes: mutual support of family members; the presence of material and moral community: there are no “I” in the family, there is “we”.

The family is also defined in family law: a family is a group of persons bound by property and non-property obligations and rights arising from kinship, marriage or adoption. A “complete family” in the legal sense consists of a father, mother and child (or children). "Incomplete family" - from a father with a child (or children) or a mother with a child (or children).

A successful marriage is a building that needs to be reconstructed every day.
A. Morua

Marriage is an agreement whose terms are reviewed and reaffirmed daily.
B. Bardo

Here are the main features of the family:

1. Cohabitation;
2. the presence of common children (in most cases);
3. mutual support of family members;
4. the presence of material and moral community;
5. Mental, spiritual and emotional closeness of its members.
6. Closeness, interpersonal intimacy.
7. Duration of relationship, responsibility for each other, obligation to each other.

The main functions of the family:

1. The birth of offspring, the upbringing of children, the self-realization of parental feelings.
2. Satisfaction of sexual needs, obtaining sexual pleasure.
3. Economic benefits for family members; satisfaction of the material needs of family members, the growth of well-being of both the family and its individual members.
4. Restoration of physical and intellectual strength. It's like an aquarium where you can swim in a warm, relaxing atmosphere.
5. Satisfaction of needs for sympathy, respect, recognition, support, emotional protection, love and admiration.
6. Joint leisure activities and spiritual enrichment of each other.

Family = not Seven + I, but WE

That family is strong
Where there is no possession of the letter "I",
Where only the word "we" rules,
Where there are shared dreams.
© Mother Teresa

Married couples are of four types:

• you and I equals you;
• you and me equals me;
• you and I equals We;
• you and me equals you and me.

This is largely determined by the rules of such a game as "family" accepted between people, members of such a family.

It is worth remembering: Relationships are a choice and responsibility of both people. This is a choice - to be or not to be, and if to be, then how.

In life, it turns out that in order to get something, you have to work hard. Sometimes it’s just to ask, and sometimes it’s downright invested.

To satisfy our needs for food, for a roof over our heads, for financial security, we put in a lot of effort. And in order to satisfy their needs for love, human warmth, tenderness, care, affection, sincere, spiritual and physical proximity..? Who is responsible for ensuring that we are full, satisfied and happy? Whose responsibility is this?

Mom and dad, or maybe his or her? Adults are responsible for meeting their own needs..

And now, let's look at the "Me plus Me" family and the "We" type family - these are two different models families.

Family "I + I"

The “I + I” family is when partners live their own lives, still take care of themselves first of all and value their personal freedom. Or rather, independence. And if more honestly - then with its freedom from the other.

I respect your territory - you do not climb into my territory. Fine? Well, nice, give you a kiss, honey!

The family "I + I" is a transaction of two individuals, mutual use: you are for me, I am for you.

Usually, the I + I model is based on the belief that a man initially has his own male interests, and a woman can only be there temporarily. Or a woman needs her own (for example, a child), and a man is needed only as a source of money (status, reliability, the role of a father or other important moments for life).

Each of us needs our own, but it is more profitable for us to be together and nearby than to live separately.

One of the signs of the I + I family is the desire to have an alternate airfield: just in case.

Family type "WE"

What's happened family type "WE"? These are such relations of two people, when all participants in such relations become as if one whole.

It's not some end state. We can say that the more ideal a family or couple, the more they are WE, and not I + I + I ...

It can be thought of as a scale.

On the one hand, family members can feel absolutely “ON THEMSELVES”. This is not a very high level family. Very close to the fact that you live alone. You look at the world, make decisions only from the position of "I", not particularly considering the interests of other family members. You can not count on the support of another member of such a family.

On the other hand, you feel like a part of “WE”. You have the feeling that you are part of such a community as "FAMILY". You look at the world as part of a family, in your decisions you think about other family members, take into account their interests. You know that you can count on the support of other family members, but you yourself are ready to provide such support when needed. You seem to be all members of your family at the same time.

And between these sides there are many intermediate states.

Family is not seven I, it is WE

Divorce is out of the question, so we have two options:
either shoot or learn to negotiate

The essence of the WE family: caring for both of us, for ourselves and for you, for our couple. We were separate, but we became together, we became a couple: you become a part of me, I am a part of you. "You and I are one."

In "WE": You and I are one, an extension of each other. In the WE family there may be elements of a deal, but its basis is different: the couple lives by faith in love, in the fact that the other can take care of you as of himself.

The "WE" type of family suits few. It only suits:

• Who wants such a family? In reality, there are not very many of them.
• who believes in the possibility of such a family. Young people often believe in such a family exactly until they try to get down to business from romantic fairy tales and “la-la”.
• those who can master such a family, who have the strength of personality to build such a family.

The WE family is a much more difficult construction than the I+I family. It is really only within the power of mature people, with life experience and wisdom.

From a man, she requires the ability to be the head of the family, from a woman - readiness to support her husband's decisions. And from both - to think first of all not about their own interests, but about the interests of the family.

But if a couple or at least one in a couple cannot cope with the WE relationship, controversial and simply crooked variants of the WE relationship appear.

Family structure

The family shares such things as dreams, hopes, memories, smiles, sadness and joy. The family is a clan that is held together by the glue of love and held together by the cement of mutual respect. This is a shelter from the storm; a friendly port when the waves of life get too big and rough. This is impossible to understand if you are not a member of the family.

There are many types of families with their various organization:

• A monogamous family differs from a polygamous family in that, as a rule, it consists of two partners. While in a polygamous family, one of the spouses can have several marriage partners at once.
• Families can differ in the number of children and can be divided into several types: a childless family; one-child family (1 child); small family (1-2 children); average family (3-4 children); large family (from 5 children);
• In modern society, the nuclear family is the most common. What is a nuclear family? The nuclear family consists of one married couple with or without children. A complex family includes several generations (grandfathers, grandmothers, sisters and their husbands, brothers and their wives, nephews, etc.)
• Young family. A family can be considered young if it meets the following criteria: the age of the spouses must be from 18 to 30 years; the marriage must be entered into for the first time, and the duration life together should not exceed 3 years.
• A Swedish family is a family in which three people (two of whom are of the same sex) live together. At the same time, the relationship between partners can be different and does not always mean joint sex.

There is one very important observation. It is important that both family members clearly understand which of them is the leader in the family. It doesn't matter if it's a man or a woman, but they both understand who it is.

If the leader in the family is a man, then the family, according to some observations, is happier. Perhaps this is somehow connected with the historical distribution of roles in the family and with physiology, and specifically with the production of testosterone, the male hormone.

Family resources: their types

The husband forgives everything until the total value thanks to the wife increases rapidly.
Elena Ermolova

To meet the needs of family members, it is necessary to have certain resources.

Family resources are material, monetary and production means, opportunities, values ​​and sources of income.

There are several types of resources:

• Family traditions are the usual family norms, behaviors, customs and attitudes that are passed down from generation to generation.
• Material resources. Includes any real estate, household appliances and vehicles.
• Labor resources. They mean family members with their ability to run a household.
• Financial resources. Includes money, securities, bank accounts, etc.
• Technological resources. Repair technology, cooking technology, etc. are used.

A family can be compared to a company. Some companies have great financial and technological potential, and they are able to make a big impact on life. Being a part of such a company is very comfortable and pleasant. But we must remember that such companies were not built immediately.

But some families are like bankrupt companies. Being a part of them means eternal losses, hassle, losses and a complete lack of prospects. But, again, these companies were created that way and their bankruptcy is constantly maintained.

The psychological climate of the family

What words you will call your wife and children, they will be so for you in life. First of all, don't call them "Darlings"!
Stas Yankovsky

The psychological climate is a more or less stable emotional mood characteristic of a particular family, which arises from the mood of family members, their emotional experiences and unrest, attitudes towards each other, to other people, to work, to surrounding events. A good emotional atmosphere of the family ensures the stability of the marriage.

The psychological climate in the family determines the stability of intra-family relations. It is created and can change. Each member of the family creates this climate, and it depends on these efforts whether it will be favorable or unfavorable. And how long will the marriage last?

A favorable psychological climate is characterized by: cohesion, the possibility of comprehensive development of the personality of each, high benevolent demands of family members towards each other, a sense of security and emotional satisfaction, pride in belonging to one's family, and responsibility. In such a family, each of its members treats the rest with love, respect and trust, and to parents - also with reverence, to the weaker one - with readiness to help at any moment. Important indicators of a favorable psychological climate of the family are the desire of its members to spend their free time in the home circle, talk on topics of interest to everyone, do homework together, emphasize the dignity and good deeds of everyone. Such a climate promotes harmony, reduces the severity of emerging conflicts, relieves stress, increases the assessment of one's own social significance and the realization of the personal potential of each family member. The initial basis of a favorable family climate is marital relations. Living together requires the spouses to be ready to compromise, to be able to take into account the needs of a partner, to give in to each other, to develop in themselves such qualities as mutual respect, trust, mutual understanding.

When family members experience anxiety, emotional discomfort, alienation, in this case they speak of an unfavorable psychological climate in the family. All this prevents the family from fulfilling one of its main functions - relieving stress and fatigue, and also leads to depression, quarrels, mental tension, and a lack of positive emotions. If family members do not strive to change this situation for the better, then the very existence of the family is threatened.

family and child

The main idea and goal of family life is the upbringing of children. The main school of education is the relationship between husband and wife, father and mother.

The family plays a particularly important role in a child's life. When we grow up, we often leave the parental nest in order to establish our own lives and eventually create our own family. But by this point, we had already received from our parents everything that we needed to decide to go on an independent voyage.

Education. Looking at our parents, we learn not only to repeat the simplest actions after them, but also to interact with the outside world. As children, dad and mom teach us how to hold a fork properly or how to brush your teeth. And then, sometimes without realizing it ourselves, we learn from the example of our parents how to behave with other people: with the opposite sex, with friends, with annoying neighbors, etc.

Moral support. A person who has a family will never be alone. Of course, family relationships are different for everyone. But if you grow up in a normal, loving family You can always count on the support of your loved ones. They will console you and help you with advice, and if necessary, by deed.

Economic support. Up to a certain point, a person cannot provide for himself on his own, and all our childhood we are supported by our parents. Not only people do this, but also animals that take care of their offspring until they reach a certain age. Humans differ from animals in that this process is usually mutual. After you grow up and get on your feet, you already begin to help your parents both financially and morally and physically. As a person ages, he becomes more and more like a child who needs help with everything. It is not in vain that people say - what is old, what is small. Much of this depends on upbringing.

Family and parents

Family is the most important thing in life. You may have good days, you may have bad days, but every evening someone will be waiting for you at home.

If we talk about what the family gives parents, then the question arises of why people have children. What a family gives a person is understandable. A family is a safe haven in which you will be understood, helped and listened to. This is why most people get married and start families. But why have children? If we do not take into account the fact that reproduction is a natural process that is characteristic of all living beings and is the basis for the development and existence of a species, then we can say that the birth of children serves several purposes:

• it is a symbol of the love of two lovers who see its embodiment in children;
• this is a way to rally the family and try yourself in a new role;
• children, no matter how selfish and selfish it may sound, often serve to embody the ideas, desires and aspirations of their parents, which they themselves have not been able to realize.

The role of the family in society

Any social doctrine that tries to destroy the family is useless and, moreover, inapplicable. The family is the crystal of society.
Hugo W.

Family interests almost always destroy public interests.
Bacon Francis

The family is the oldest and most enduring institution of family relations that has existed for many centuries. What does the family give to society?

• Families transmit knowledge and traditions accumulated by previous generations. When there was no written language and all knowledge was transmitted, as they say, by word of mouth, only parents were able to pass on to their children the knowledge that they had acquired from their own experience. Those, in turn, preserved and increased this knowledge, passing it on to their children. This is how progress progressed.
• Children who grow up in healthy families are more emotionally stable and balanced, they have a very good base for further development.

Family happiness

The secret of family happiness: a woman should make it pleasant for a man to come home, and a man should make it pleasant for a woman to meet him.

To create a solid foundation in the family, you need to work on yourself and develop the necessary qualities. They will help you get through the ups and downs together. Be responsible for your happiness and remember that it is yours. There are no "I" in the family, there is only "we". So you will create a strong and happy family.

Family is like a boat in which everyone floats together.

And for a child, the family is, first of all, the environment in which the conditions of his mental, physical, intellectual and emotional development. In order for this development to take place, you must pay attention to the upbringing of the child and conduct various activities with him.

How to create your family-fortress

In the beginning, you should definitely determine for yourself what and how exactly you want to have in your family. Understand or determine for yourself what and how it will happen. You can design your family as a long term game. How to do this is described.

The basis of the relationship between a man and a woman is love. And it needs to be constantly created. You can learn to do this with ease - figure it out. Do not forget about the knowledge of the basics of sexual life.

Remember that when a woman is angry or indignant. More often than not, she just needs confirmation of your love for her. And best of all - just not give her the slightest reason for doubt.

And, although it is unpleasant, but sometimes there are betrayals. What and how to do in this case - see.

A good family is a great value. And now you know more what and how in the family.

Developing and functioning according to its own laws. It depends on society, the existing political system, economic, social and religious relations. And at the same time, the family is a relatively independent unit of society.

Marriage is the beginning and core of the family. The nature of marital relations depends primarily on what motives led to the conclusion of this marriage. The impact on the family of the economic basis of society and all social life is largely carried out through motives and is mediated by them. If marriage is defined by many scientists as a socially and personally expedient stable form of sexual relations sanctioned by society, then the family is a small social group based on a single family-wide activity associated with the bonds of matrimony - parenthood - kinship.

Although the basis of the family is a married couple, there are families that live under the same roof, run the same household, raise children, but their marriage is not legally registered. There are also incomplete families where one of the parents or both parents are absent. There are nuclear families (parents and children live together) and extended families (married couple, children, parents of one of the spouses: grandfather, grandmother). So, in the current family, we see relics of past age-old family relationships and the sprouts of the future family.

As society develops, marriage and the family change. Legislators, specialists in family and marriage relations are increasingly recognizing the need for a contractual basis for marriage. Such a marriage is a voluntary union between a man and a woman, in which both parties should have the same rights. Perhaps it will be in a state of law, which Immanuel Kant dreamed about. On this occasion, he said that the ideal state of society is the rule of law and legal interstate relations that ensure universal peace. Peace must also reign in every family through observance of not only moral, but also legal norms.

The family performs a number of functions that ensure the life of society. The most important of them, according to most experts, are reproductive, educational, economic and recreational.

reproductive function

The first function (reproductive) is the reproduction of their own kind. So that the human race does not cease to exist, society does not turn into a boarding school for the elderly, the population level does not decrease, it is necessary that every Russian family have at least 2-3 children. The socio-demographic situation in Russia causes great concern for its future. The population is not only catastrophically aging, but simply dying out. Society is experiencing the heaviest pressure of political and economic problems. The impoverishment of the people, the sharp decline in living standards, the structural processes of restructuring industry and the resulting forced release of labor resources, the loss in earnings and the prestige of the profession - these and many other hardships of today's real life are a heavy burden on society and the family as its cell.

TO problems of modern society, restraining childbearing, can also be attributed to early marriages, which constitute a risk category and give half of all divorces. If in Europe the age of marriage is 28 years, in Japan it is 30-33 years, then in our country the bar is reduced to 18 years. Practically until the age of 24, young people are dependents, and, in fact, 18-year-old spouses remain dependents until the age of 40. Early marriage, with rare exceptions, does not give them the opportunity to complete their education, acquire a profession, and, accordingly, deprives them of the chance to occupy a more prestigious and highly paid position. Lack of money, problem with housing, unwanted pregnancy and childbirth - all this exacerbates the precarious situation of a young family, leading to divorce. There are alarming statistics of divorces in our country: now half of young families break up in the first year of life, two-thirds - in the first five years, in 70% of families that have not broken up after five years of life, the spouses are in a tense relationship.

The other side of the problem of fertility is illegitimate children. Now every third child in Russia is born out of wedlock, and in age group mothers at the age of 16-18 - almost half. Most of these newborns are sent directly from the hospital to baby homes, as mothers simply refuse them. And this is not the most disturbing. If 10-15 years ago the birth of a sick child was an exception to the rule, now this exception applies to a healthy child. The pathological burden is growing, primarily congenital mental retardation.

In connection with these and other difficulties, almost 20% of the interviewed spouses do not want to have children at all. Most often this occurs in families of the intelligentsia. The birth rate also varies by region. The depopulation covered almost 70 regions of Russia. Prospects for overcoming this barrier are not yet visible. The situation of working women, especially single mothers, is such that it is not easy for them to feed at least one child, and it is almost impossible for a woman who is unemployed and herself to live on unemployment benefits. In fact, families limit reproductive function to a minimum. Especially in big cities.

The management clearly understands the importance and relevance of solving this problem for modern Russian society. Therefore, helping the family is one of the key tasks.

educational function

The educational function of the family cannot be replaced by any other institution. According to Aristotle, “the family is the first type of communication” and the most important element of the state structure, where happy life should be built in accordance with virtue and marriage legislation, ensuring the birth of healthy children, prescribing ways to educate future citizens.

However, the educational role of the family is declining. We have outlined the reasons for this phenomenon. In addition, the decrease in the educational role of the family is due to the changes taking place in it. In a modern family, spouses are formally equal. But most of the worries are actually on the woman, including the upbringing of children. There are many pros and cons to this. Often there are families where children are simply left on the street, on their own or tend to do business washing cars, collecting bottles, etc., forgetting about studying at school.

Sociologists name several types of family education:

• the detocentrism of the family is expressed in the excessive adoration of their child, especially when there is one child. From such a child more often grows an egoist, a person not adapted to practical life;
• professionalism - parents shift the care of education to kindergartens, schools, colleges. In the future, a cold young man, alien to caresses for parents and elders, may grow out of such a child;
• pragmatism - all education is aimed at the formation of such qualities as being able to live, seeing, first of all, material benefits.

The objective conditions prevailing in modern Russia, propagated spiritual values, contribute to the education of this type of personality. Enforced individualism can contribute to the war of each against all.

Very extensive economic function of the family. It includes a wide range of family relations: housekeeping, budgeting, organization of consumption and leisure, etc. The importance of the family in the organization of consumption and everyday life is great. It not only satisfies, but partly forms the material needs of a person, creates and maintains certain household traditions, and provides mutual assistance in housekeeping.

Restorative function

Important for the life of every person (big or small) is recreational(recovery) function families. As it was said in Domostroy, in order to enter the family “like entering paradise”. Experts claim that good family- this is half the success in career, business, study, etc. We live in a race for the leader. It is not for nothing that the Americans say that in order to stand still, you must run fast. Everyone is running. And in order to overcome this marathon distance every day, you need to be in good shape. The form is restored and maintained in a good family. It should become a place of rest and inspiration, self-confidence, the need for relatives to create a very important feeling of psychological comfort for an enterprising person, to maintain a high vitality.

recreational function family manifests itself more effectively, the higher culture of family relations. Here we come to another aspect of the problem - the culture of family life as part of the culture (spiritual, moral, etc.) of society. In this sphere of society, as in many others, we see, if not regression, then stagnation. The general “barbarization” of morals had a very painful effect on the family. Negative tendencies in its functioning intensified. The number of divorces, destitute children is growing. In 2008, about 950,000 families broke up in Russia. More than 700 thousand children were left without one of their parents. There are extremely many reasons for this: the economic independence of women, and the impact of urbanization, and with it the growth of social anonymity, and the scientific and technological revolution, and its impact on the intensification of labor, especially associated with conveyor or highly technological production, the causes of socio-economic, cultural, ethnic, religious character.

Interpersonal relationships of spouses in the family

One of the most important indicators of the quality of a family union is the level and quality of interpersonal relationships spouses.

The scale of interpersonal relationships can be represented as follows:

1. domination. Treating another as a thing or a means to achieve one's goals, ignoring his interests and intentions. Open without disguise, imperative influence (from violence, suppression to imposition).
2. Manipulation. The desire to achieve one's own with an eye to the impression made. Hidden influence: provocation, deceit, intrigue, hint.
3. Rivalry. Allows recognition of the fact of impact, but the goals are usually hidden. The interests of the other are taken into account to the extent that this is dictated by the tasks of fighting him. The means are temporary tactical agreements.
4. partnership. Treating the other as an equal to be reckoned with is based on an agreement, which is both a means of unification and a means of exerting pressure.
5. commonwealth. Treating others as value in themselves. The desire for unification, joint activities to achieve similar goals.

The main instrument of interaction is no longer a contract, but consent.

In order for the family to be prosperous, the behavior of one spouse in his family role does not contradict the ideas of the other, the ideas about the marriage of a woman and a man must either be or become compatible. “Adjustment” of ideas, elimination of their possible conflict is not always done smoothly at the stage of primary role adaptation of spouses.

General motivation of the family union includes four leading motives, if you are guided in your expectations by: a household union, that is, sincerely believing that the main thing in a family is a well-established life, high earnings, a bank account that allows you to maintain a well-provided or normal (like everyone else) ) life; to a moral and psychological union, wanting to find a true friend and life partner who understands him (her) well, who is able to be near in joy and in trouble, in work; on the family-parent union, believing that the main function of the family is the birth and upbringing of children; on an intimate-personal union, seeing its main goal in inexhaustible mutual love.

It’s good if the spouses’ ideas about this coincided from the very beginning. Otherwise, conflicts in the family are inevitable, especially in acute, critical, crisis periods of family life, when often unconscious, previously unidentified contradictions in the expectations of the spouses, their mutual claims are exposed and collide.

The need for moral and psychological adaptation of spouses to each other, not felt at first by the intoxication of hot and blind love, the importance of combining, ideals, interests, value orientations, attitudes, as well as personal and characterological characteristics, remind of themselves in later life. Husband and wife should have many points of contact. The mutual agreement of husband and wife must exceed a certain average level, without which the joint life of the spouses is either short-lived or completely spoiled.

Intimate-personal adaptation consists in the achievement by the spouses of physiological and moral-psychological satisfaction with each other in intimate relationships. Rigid programming for some kind of super-intense sex life is not at all necessary.

Adaptation to family life involves the adaptation of spouses to the new status of husband and wife for them, to the roles associated with it, as well as the coordination of images of extra-family behavior, and the inclusion of spouses in the circle of mutual family ties with mother-in-law, father-in-law, mother-in-law, etc.

What is the difference between friendly families and unfriendly ones?? First of all, the degree of mutual adaptation of the spouses. In a friendly family, their needs, interests, desires and intentions gradually converge. The interests of the husband become the interests of the wife, and vice versa. In a conflict marriage, the extreme autonomy of the two selves is preserved. The needs, desires and intentions of both spouses are often opposed, and the processes of rapprochement of the two “Selves”, mutual identification of husband and wife are very slow. When the love between spouses gradually fades away, does not translate into a strong marital friendship, mutual understanding, mutual psychic support are not established, isolation and alienation are growing. Sometimes, mutual respect is often lost, there is a mismatch of aspirations in the field of household chores and negative feelings and emotions accumulate towards each other, which significantly exceed positive emotions. Sometimes it happens, especially in young couples, that a non-positive adaptation of a particular kind grows. Its essence lies in the excessive habituation of the spouses to each other and the loss of the necessary distance, modesty, forgetfulness of conjugal love.

A complicating factor may be the very difference in intellectual development, in the level of education and culture. In the first years of marriage, this is not so acutely felt due to the youth of the spouses, passionate physical love, sexual harmony and sexual satisfaction. Subsequently, this difference, if not smoothed out, will interfere. True, a marriage with a difference in intellectual development can also be strong if there is a good material and financial basis, and relations have developed with each other, both love children, etc.

Basic social functions of the family

The family as a social institution is called upon to perform the following functions.

The first function is sexual regulation

The family acts as the main social institution through which society organizes and regulates the natural sexual needs of people. Of course, there are other possibilities in society to satisfy the above-mentioned needs. In patriarchal families, premarital sexual experience is strictly prohibited (at least for women). Puritan customs associated with religious prohibitions and widespread in European culture in past centuries (remember the tragedy of J. W. Goethe's "Faust" and the suffering of the young inexperienced Gretchen), in modern society have been replaced by a new "philosophy of marriage". Today, the marriage of virgins is considered by many to be absurd, and premarital sexual relations are more than tolerated.

The second function is the reproduction of the population, which is carried out by the family.

Natural population decline must be constantly reproduced by new generations, and physically and mentally healthy children are preferred. The fulfillment of this important function, without which society would cease to exist, is entrusted mainly to the family. At the same time, it is important for society to regulate the birth rate in order to avoid population explosions or recessions.

The third function is socialization

The family is the main bearer of cultural patterns transmitted from generation to generation. It is in the family that the child joins the culture of society and its traditions, acquires knowledge about the rules of behavior in society, moral standards, the concepts of honor, kindness, and justice. It can be said that in the family the foundations for the formation of a person as a person are laid, abilities are clarified, and the choice of the profession of the future worker is carried out. The main method of family socialization is the copying of behavior patterns of adult family members by children.

The fourth function is the satisfaction of human needs for emotional, spiritual communication, love and intimate support, empathy and compassion.

Psychiatrists, sociologists, lawyers, teachers testify that people deprived of affection in the family in childhood, brought up in orphanages without a father and mother, are more likely than others to suffer from somatic diseases, mental disorders, deviant behavior. The care and love of loved ones, trusting emotional contacts with the father, mother, brothers, sisters are a vital element in the existence of everyone, a guarantee of their mental and spiritual health, optimistic mood and success in life. The support of the family is especially important in a difficult moment for a person, in life's trials and tribulations, when the whole world seems hostile to him and only the family becomes a support and helps to cope with the situation. Guilt, shame or pride in a person, as a rule, is shared by all members of his family. In all societies, the institution of the family provides, to varying degrees, the physical, economic, and psychological protection of its members.

The fifth function is economic, household

The family, as a rule, satisfies the primary needs of a person - feeds, clothes, shoes, gives a roof over his head. As a result, family members lead a common household. The family not only develops a certain way of life, a way of life, but also accumulates material goods that children inherit from their parents, and then pass on to their children, etc. The belonging of a family to a certain social stratum largely determines the fate of a person.

Development trends of the modern family

The dynamism of modern society has led to changes in such a traditional institution as the family. First, there is a trend towards a decrease in the number of marriages. Secondly, the number of divorces is increasing. Thirdly, there is a growing number of divorced women who have not remarried and women with illegitimate children. Fourthly, a lot of children are brought up without one of their parents. Fifthly, the number of people with children is noticeably decreasing and there is a further trend towards childlessness of married couples. Sixth, the family's monopoly on the regulation of adult intimate relationships is partly destroyed by the freedom of morals.

Modern women have equal business opportunities with men, which, of course, is progressive. But this trend inevitably changes the nature of relationships in the family. In particular, the child's dependence on the parents is expected to be kept to a minimum. Early maturation and the emergence of “fledgling” children into life provide an opportunity for parents to devote more time and attention to each other, which also affects the nature of interpersonal relations between generations.

In industrialized societies, caring for the health of the elderly, the disabled has become the function of medical institutions, special homes for the elderly, although family members today still decide whether to seek help from doctors, agree to an operation or under their own responsibility. the patient is discharged, etc. Life insurance, unemployment benefits and funds for social security partly take on the economic and economic function of the family, partly supporting people in economically unstable times. Thus, the family loses some of its inherent functions, exercising only some of them (for example, the function of emotional support for family members).

What is the future of the family? Do the changes in family life that we observe mean that the family has reached a state of deep disintegration and this process is irreversible? Quite often, experts express the point of view that the traditional family has become a thing of the past and its revival is not expected. However, there is another, more justified position. Over the millennia of the existence of the family as a social institution, it has undergone numerous changes, its functions and forms of marriage have changed and continue to change. However, the family, as a small unit of society, will always occupy a special place among the social institutions that govern reproduction, socialization, and the regulation of intimate relationships. Of course, the functions of the family will change, the number of family forms will increase, and probably the increase in families where couples lead a life together without entering into official marriage.

Thus, family can be regarded as a small group and a special socio-cultural institution that binds individuals with a common life and mutual moral responsibility. The family is the oldest and most widespread of the small social groups. Its foundations are common life and economy, mutual assistance, spiritual communication. The family is the foundation of society, since it is it that forms the basic qualities of a person and introduces him into the world of social relations.

To live in marriage ... all your life is a big, incomparable work. Spiritual work, tension. This requires a huge spiritual culture, spiritual preparation, a school of wisdom.

V. A. Sukhomlinsky

The family as the primary cell of society and the socio-cultural sphere of man

Family- the primary cell of society, living according to the laws of system-functional sufficiency, where the subjects are united by a set of interpersonal relations formed in joint activity, manifested in love, affection, intimacy.

The outstanding sociologist P. A. Sorokin considered the issue of family structure to be much more important than the issue of forms of government. Analyzing family types different peoples, from the point of view of the educational mechanism, he identified three main types of family:

• 1) family patriarchal educating the younger generations to live in a community or commune. Here, the whole way of family education crushes any individuality, personal initiative, demands "not to stick out", to live like everyone else, "as expected"; act, think, believe according to custom and rely not on oneself, one's knowledge, labor, energy and will, but on the "community", on the "world", on the "commune". The life of an individual in this type of family is completely regulated. From the bosom of such a family come individuals without will, without initiative, accustomed to behaving in everything according to the general norm;
• 2) false individualistic family. With all its way of life, it teaches young generations to rely not on themselves, not on the community, but on the state. Accordingly, all education here is conducted in relation to official programs. The main thing is to pass the official exam, get a diploma and "quietly and smoothly swing" as an official. Under such a system, neither initiative nor submission to authority, which takes place in the first type of family, is brought up in people, and people turn out to be unstable, lacking initiative - "paper formalists", as P. A. Sorokin characterizes them. Accordingly, a society that has this type of family is unstable, bureaucratic, with centralization, an extensive amount of government intervention, with a swollen state apparatus and absorption of the individual by the state. A person relies on the state for everything and believes that almost nothing depends on his efforts;
• 3) individualistic family. Her way of life from an early age tames young generations to rely only on themselves, their knowledge, will and energy. Here they teach children what they really need in life (and not what the community or the state requires). Space is given to personal initiative, the development of individuality. From an early age, children are recognized with rights that are inseparable from the fulfillment of duties. Strong, enterprising, energetic people come out of such a family. According to Sorokin, peoples with similar type families, "victors of other nations." This type of family is represented in the Anglo-Saxon and Scandinavian countries.

Russian family, the scientist believes, occupies the middle line between the patriarchal and false individualistic families. The younger generations were brought up in it either as future officials of the state, or as "community members", members of the "world", who were obliged to resemble him in everything and reckon with him. There was no room for individuality and personal initiative. These conclusions of Pitirim Sorokin were made by him in 1923, but, as we are constantly convinced, little has changed since then, although a certain dynamics of movement towards an individualistic type of family can still be traced. Today we can highlight some of the most characteristic features and development trends of the modern family.

Firstly, the process of disintegration of the family - selection young married family (the so-called families without grandparents). Objectively, the process of disaggregation of the family can be assessed as positive, since this trend ensures the strengthening of the young family as an independent team. The difficulties experienced strengthen friendship, solidarity, teach to share joys and troubles. However, at first, a young family experiences difficulties: domestic disorder, financial problems, etc.

Secondly, there is a decrease in the size of the family, a decrease in the birth rate. The reasons for the decline in the birth rate are varied and complex: the employment of parents; insufficient supply preschool institutions; an increase in the material costs of raising a child; heavy workload of a mother; unfavorable housing, living conditions of the family, etc. The reduction in the birth rate puts forward a new pedagogical problem - the study and development of methods of education in a small family.

Third, the number of divorces is increasing. It must be borne in mind that divorce is not always a bad thing, since the source of negative impact on the child's psyche. The largest number divorces (up to 95%) are accounted for by married couples in the first year of marriage. This is due to the unpreparedness of the spouses for family life, the unsettled life of a young family.

Fourth, there is an increase in the number of families with one child. Such a family puts the child in a difficult position in terms of communication, gaining experience in collective activities. In a one-child family, the child does not have mentors - older brothers and sisters. The child becomes the center of the family, which will give him all the affection, attention, care. Often this has Negative consequences when there is a loss by parents of the pedagogical norm in meeting the desires and needs of the child.

The main functions of the family are:

A) generative (reproductive) function, due to the need to continue the human race, which is not only a biological need, but also of great economic importance for the preservation of the population. A family without children is spiritually defective. On the scale of society, for the simple reproduction of the population, it is necessary that for every two people of the opposite sex there should be at least two children. Given the fact that not all women and men marry and start families, it is desirable that most families have three children. However, unfortunately, so far only a few families perform this "public function".

The performance of the generative function of the family is influenced by the quality of public health, the level of development of health care in the country, etc. According to experts, 10–15% of the adult population are unable to have children for health reasons due to adverse environmental impacts on them, an unhealthy lifestyle, diseases, malnutrition, etc.;

• b) function of primary socialization of children (educational). It is due to the fact that born children carry only the makings, prerequisites, signs of a "reasonable person." In order for the child to gradually enter society, so that his inclinations appear, it is necessary to communicate and work in the family as the primary social unit. The family affects the socialization of children not just by the fact of its existence, but by a favorable moral and psychological climate, healthy relationships between all its members. It is in the family that the foundation is laid for the moral experience of the child, his ideas about good and evil, honest and dishonorable, good and bad, the foundations of the mental, moral and physical appearance of the future citizen of modern society;
• V) economic and household function. Historically, the family has always been the main economic unit of society. The profound socio-economic changes that are taking place in Russian society are reactivating those aspects of the economic and household functions that were almost removed by the previous development. The accumulation of property, the acquisition of property and the problems of its inheritance increase the role of the family in economic relations;
• G) hedonic function, which is also called function of healthy sexual relations, connection

is associated with the presence in a person of a general biological sexual need, the satisfaction of which is just as important as the need for food, housing, etc. Superficial attitude to physical intimacy, irregular sexual relations with casual partners outside the family not only deprive physical love of its psychological richness and depth, but also entail sad criminal or medical consequences;

e) recreational and psychotherapeutic function family is explained by the fact that this social institution is a sphere of absolute security, absolute acceptance of a person, regardless of his talents, success in life, financial situation, etc. A healthy, non-conflict family is a reliable support, the best refuge where a person can hide from all adversity.

• Cm.: Lodkina T.V. The system of activity of the family social teacher. M., 1997. S. 13.
• Cm.: Sorokin P. A. Things that are often forgotten Sorokin P. A. Sociology of the revolution. Moscow, 2005, pp. 433–435.

Married couples are often formed due to mutual attraction to each other, Great love or love. At these moments, people do not think about whether they have any common hobby. But it is so important to have common interests and family affairs, because if love is not nourished by anything else and does not even have common topics for conversation, then sooner or later this state of affairs will inevitably lead to divorce.

What is the purpose of the family?

Unfortunately, in our time, the science of the family and how to build it correctly has been forgotten. Therefore, there are so many family unions in modern society that seem prosperous and successful in appearance. But if you delve a little further, it turns out that happiness is not present in them.

In our age, the modern family already has an established stereotype of family life, which for many seems to be the norm. This is when a husband comes tired after a hard day's work and immediately sits down to watch TV or play at the computer. At this time, his wife is engaged in housekeeping or some other business in the kitchen, and the children play with their toys. Many will say that idyll and harmony reign in this union, but, apparently, they do not have common goals and family interests. They do not have joint emotions and empathy, so over time they are more and more moving away from each other.

When people get married and go on an interesting journey called they must clearly understand what their common goals are, so that later they can go to them together. Until they are outlined, a person will not understand what qualities his soulmate should be endowed with.

A modern family should not forget that common goals will become a guarantee of long-term happiness and mutual understanding.

What goals are considered a guarantee of a happy family

It is widely believed that the purpose of the family should be the birth and upbringing of good and healthy children. This, of course, is also important. But what will happen to this marriage when the children grow up and leave to build their own way? Everything, the goal of all life will be achieved, and nothing in common will remain. Therefore, it is simply necessary for spouses to have other common interests and family affairs, in addition to children.

It is believed that a marriage between two people is a kind of school of love. And if the family truly appreciates and respects each other, then the relationship over the years only becomes stronger. So the real purpose married life is the attainment of perfect love.

The main goal of each spouse should be constant care for their soul mate and the task of making easier life each other. If all these rules and parting words are followed and not forgotten about them, then it is possible to achieve trust, harmony and happiness between them.

Shared hobbies and shared leisure

According to the statistics that American scientists have deduced, every second man in the world spends his free time watching any TV shows. But why not watch them with your wife? After all, you can choose any program that both will like, or download a movie, which is very easy to do in our age of the Internet. Even such a joint pastime can become a link that binds a family and gives new topic for conversations and discussions. For example, you can make it your every Friday to arrange such joint viewings with popcorn and various other goodies.

Leisure

Common interests and family affairs can be found outside the walls of the house. Well, if it is connected with some physical activity, as scientists have proven that a passive lifestyle affects not only a person’s health, but also his psyche. Suppose you can come up with the following active common affairs and interests of the family. Examples:

Joint outdoor recreation.

1. Walking tour with a break for a snack.

   Participation in any active sports.

   A real hike with a tent and overnight in the forest.

For this type of recreation, large expenses are not needed at all, but only the desire and desire to spend time together.

Common interests of parents and child

The role of the family in the life of a child is undoubtedly very important. In order not to miss the moment during the growing up of the child and always remain a friend to him, you need to have mutual business with him, of course, for spending time together.

It is not at all difficult to find common causes and interests of the family. The surrounding world, if you look at it only with different eyes, can suggest a lot of ideas for this. For example, if the child is older and can take care of a pet, you should get a common family pet and walk together when time permits. At such moments, there is an opportunity in a relaxed atmosphere to discuss with your child any of his problems and what may be bothering him.

Parents can learn, if they don't already know how, roller skating or skiing, and then have so much fun with the whole family. A good tradition can be a morning run or an evening yoga class. Yes, anything, the main thing is to be together.

Favorable climate in the family

When a child grows up in a family, it is very important what family climate reigns in it. From parents, the child receives preparation for further life in society. Therefore, it cannot be denied that the role of the family performs an important function in shaping his personality.

A child, like a sponge, absorbs what is happening within the walls of his house, and then he transfers all these foundations and rules into his adult life. If it is customary for parents to have common interests and family affairs, then in the future their child will also act in their marriage, having learned this from early childhood. When children grow up where it is customary to communicate in a friendly and gentle manner, then over time they will certainly build their style of communication with other people in the same way.

Only one conclusion can be drawn from this - in order to raise a good and successful child, it is necessary that the family has a healthy moral and emotional microclimate.

Spiritual Aspects of Family Life

An important role in the harmonious relationship of a married couple is played by spiritual intimacy, which after years can be irretrievably lost, unless you constantly work on its presence in life. To do this, you can choose a joint spiritual hobby, such as dancing. After all, there is nothing better and more pleasant than circling in a pair with your loved one.

Now it is not uncommon to come across a situation where already elderly spouses enroll in dance classes in order to give their relationship some zest and novelty. Many psychologists have approved such a joint pastime, since the dance allows you to penetrate deeper into the personal space of your soul mate.

What is the relationship between family and society?

From time immemorial, the family has been considered the main unit of society. It is entrusted with many functions, the most important is the continuation of the family. Therefore, all civilization and social relations begin with the family.

As a person treats his loved ones, so he will treat other people. If betrayal and swearing reign in the house, then the person who is brought up in this will eventually think that it is possible to do the same with people who are completely strangers to him.

Therefore, one should never forget very much simple thing Relationships depend primarily on what people are willing to do for them themselves.

9* class

social science

Topic 4. Person in the family

Society in miniature

The multifaceted interactions of people form a human society. Each of us has our own social microenvironment, a circle of people with whom we communicate more or less constantly, study, make friends, work, relax, have fun. But the starting point here is your family. Now you in the family of your parents comprehend the basics of human existence. In it, each of us goes through his first school of socialization, that is, the formation of a person, familiarization with culture, knowledge of other people in all the complexity of their interpersonal relationships. Felix Adler, an American educator, said well about this: “The family is a society in miniature, on the integrity of which the security of the entire large human society depends.”

IN socially A family is an association of people based on marriage or consanguinity, connected by a common life, mutual moral responsibility and mutual assistance. The official recognition of the family begins with the registration of marriage. Marriage is a social form of relationship between a man and a woman. Sex life is regulated in society through marriage. Spousal and parental rights and obligations are established.

The family and marriage originated in primitive society. Historically, the first was the consanguineous family. She put an end to disorderly sexual relations between a man and a woman. It prohibited sexual intercourse between generations, parents and children. This family was replaced by a group family in which sexual contacts were already excluded between intrauterine brothers and sisters. Thus, in such a family, incest was limited, which did not give full-fledged offspring.

The tendency to narrow the circle of sexual partners in the family, which originated in the conditions of matriarchy, led to the emergence of a pair family in which one man lives with one woman. But during the period of the tribal system, such a family often broke up, since it was not yet an economic unit, it was difficult for it to maintain a household. The main economic unit in this period was the clan.

With the decomposition of the tribal system, the first stable form of a monogamous (single-married) family arises - a large patriarchal family headed by a father. This was due to changing economic conditions. The development of cattle breeding, pottery, the manufacture of more advanced tools contributed to the growth of wealth, which began to accumulate in an individual family. Since these activities were mainly carried out by men, their role in the family began to increase. Inheritance begins to be carried out through the paternal line, the dissolution of marriage becomes the privilege of the husband.

IN
a large patriarchal family lived several younger generations with their families. They cultivated fields together, had a common income, etc. Having arisen on an economic basis, a large patriarchal family becomes an independent production unit of society. The patriarchal family in its various forms was preserved among many peoples even under feudalism. In Polissya, such family communities, or, as they were called, courtyards, existed as early as the 16th-18th centuries.

The monogamous family under the tribal system was not yet the fruit of individual sexual love. It was based on economic conditions. Marriages in it were arranged.

In the Middle Ages, with the development of moral and spiritual values, a chivalrous attitude towards a woman appeared - romantic love. For the sake of the Beautiful Lady, the knight was ready to make the greatest sacrifices and deeds. Although, worshiping the lady of the heart, the knight nevertheless did not condescend to recognize in her a person equal to himself. Romantic love often arose not in marriage, but outside of it.

Industrialization, which began in modern times, destroyed the connection between the family and production, characteristic of the Middle Ages. Most families already consisted of spouses and their children. The woman, due to production necessity, was largely freed from the household and involved in professional, socio-political and cultural life. She became economically, socially and spiritually independent and already had the right to choose a spouse. Marriage has evolved from an economic union into a moral and legal union based on love and personal choice.

Why do people, society, the state need a family? As the primary unit of society, the family performs important functions. First of all, it provides for the needs of men and women in marriage, in motherhood and fatherhood, in the upbringing of children. In addition to the function of reproduction of the human race, household activities are carried out in the family. Here children go through the first stages of socialization, master their native language, join the culture, learn the norms of behavior in society, its customs and traditions.

Depending on family ties, there are Various types families. The most common type is the simple, or nuclear, family. It consists of a married couple with children who are not yet married. If one of the children in the family is married himself, then a large, or complex, family is formed. It may include three or more generations living together and connected by a common household.

Bonds of Hymen

Hymen, the Greek and Roman god of marriage, flies on his snow-white wings ahead of the wedding processions. The flame of his marriage torch burns brightly. During the wedding, choirs of girls call and pray to Hymen to bless the marriage of the young and send joy into their lives.

“Bitter!” - they shout at weddings to young people and ask them to sweeten. These very young ones are told, as it were, that in case of any grief in their long married life, there is this sure remedy.

It is bad when conflicts begin in the family from the first days. And they are often associated with the irresponsible attitude of young people to its creation. Therefore, the most important point that precedes the union of two hearts is the choice of a husband (wife). Before concluding this union, it is necessary to find out: how sincere and pure are your feelings? Is your marriage based on love, calculation, or simply: “To endure - fall in love”? These are not simple questions, because the depth of intimate experiences will depend on them. In a marriage for love, intimate life will be great happiness. And if it is based on calculation or frivolity - it will become a simple, sometimes unpleasant, duty Sexual disharmony is a frequent, if not the main, cause of adultery and divorce.

When entering into a marriage, one should also learn about such negative habits as drinking alcohol and smoking. After all, drunkenness of spouses is one of the main sources of conflict in the family. And what harm does smoking and drinking by the mother do to future offspring!

Marriage is not only a joyful, but also a responsible event. Children are brought up in the family. There is mutual assistance. Leisure and recreation are jointly organized. Housekeeping is also shared. The family is an economically independent unit of society. Lovers should remember all this.

Family life is filled with joy and bliss when a husband sees his beloved as feminine, charming, kind, sincere, natural, sensitive. And the wife constantly feels the presence in the house of a strong and caring man who is honest, disinterested, fair.

Family morals

Relations between a young family and their parents are no less important for strengthening marriage ties. You should carefully consider the morals, the orders of the family in which you enter. Think about how best to “fit in” with them, maybe sometimes it’s worth offering something from the customs and traditions of your family. It is also necessary to take into account the psychological characteristics of older people, especially the elderly. With age, it is more and more difficult for people to change their views This is where the eternal problem of "fathers and children" arises. "Fathers" cannot "keep up" with life as quickly as "children". But the older generation has a lot to learn. This is his life experience. It is based on eternal, universal values ​​- love for work, for the Motherland, for children, tolerance, generosity. In any family, parents have always paid the main attention to teaching children various labor skills. They raised intolerance for slovenliness, contempt for lies. Parents also taught children honesty, justice, kindness. These spiritual values ​​\u200b\u200bshould be the foundation of your family.

The strength of the family also depends on the nature of family leisure activities. Spending time together does not mean: "Be only with me", "Not one step away from me." Sometimes some of you will want to be alone, to think. Your life partner may have slightly different interests and hobbies. Get to know them. This will help you get to know each other better. Do not refuse, if possible, your wife (husband) to spend leisure time together. For frequent refusals can gradually turn into a habit, and you will not notice how your interests and outlook on life diverge and a crack will appear in family relationships.

1. The family is the primary unit of society.

2. A happy marriage and the strength of a family are based on love, equality, respect for each other, assimilation of the life experience of the older generation.
Monogamy is monogamy.

A habit is a custom, a way of social life.

Custom - generally accepted order, traditionally established rules of social behavior.

Bonds are things that bind, connect.

Criminals, alcoholics, religious fanatics, "materialists", egoists are completely unsuitable for creating a normal family life. Vices destroy in a person one after another his positive qualities. A religious fanatic devotes himself entirely to serving God, for people, including those closest to him, it does not remain.

"Veshchist" concentrates all his thoughts on material wealth. People for him are only tools, tools, using which he accumulates prestigious things.

The union of two accumulators cannot be called matrimony. Marriage and family have a completely different purpose.

The egoist is close in spirit to the "thing". He is not capable of taking care of others, cooperating with others in the common interests of the family. Family roles are inaccessible to him. In any of them, he can only be a consumer, only a taker. (N. G. Yurkevich.)

What's happened family roles? Why, according to the psychologist, are egoists, alcoholics, "things", etc., unable to fulfill them?

Marriage and Family Code of the Republic of Belarus (with amendments and additions as of January 1, 1998)

Article 16 Marriage age established from the age of 18. In some exceptional cases, the executive committees of village, district, city councils of people's deputies may reduce the established age of marriage ...

Article 18. The rights and obligations of spouses arise from the time of marriage registration in the state civil registry offices (ZAGS).

WE LISTEN

Marriage is the first stage of human society.

Dependence on family life makes a person more moral.

A. S. Pushkin

To marry means to halve your rights and double your responsibilities.

A. Schopenhauer

Any marriage based on one personal good cannot but be a cause of contention.

L. N. Tolstoy

To live in marriage... is a great, incomparable work, spiritual work, stress. This requires a huge spiritual culture, spiritual preparation, a school of wisdom.

V. A. Sukhomlinsky

Nature, having created people as they are, gave them great consolation from many evils, endowing them with family and homeland.

W. Foscalo

Interests of the family and society

full-blooded family life starts from the birth of a child. Children are a source of happiness and inspiration. Children come with additional rights and responsibilities. The spouses change in many ways, as well as relationships. Selfless love for children helps parents get rid of selfish attitudes that are inevitable at first. Parental love enriches conjugal love. The emotional atmosphere in the family becomes richer. Children cement the family in every way. They strengthen her connection with society.

At all times, the reproduction of generations was the main task of the family. It is no coincidence that all peoples have their own customs, rituals associated with the birth of a child. But in recent decades in many countries there has been a clear trend towards a decrease in the birth rate. In Belarus, the problem of fertility also exists. This may adversely affect the development of the economy, culture, science, etc.

It has been calculated that if all families were one-child, the rapid extinction of the population of Belarus would become inevitable, since one child restores the number of parents only by half. If all families had only two children, then in the future, in 300 years, less than 1% of the current population of the country would remain. This happens because not every girl gets married, not every becomes a mother, just as not every young man becomes a husband and not every husband becomes a father. Therefore, in order to avoid demographic problems, a family focused on three children is desirable.

In a one-child family, difficulties arise with the formation of the child's personality. The only child in the family is lonely. He has been deprived of contact with his brothers and sisters since childhood. Therefore, it often becomes selfish, spoiled, conflict.

It has also been found that families with two or more children have fewer divorces.

Life in love

In a family, a person first meets love. This is parental love for children, children for parents, husband and wife for each other, children for each other. Love in the broadest sense of the word is the foundation on which the strongest of human associations, the family, rests. It is the family that teaches a person to live in love.

Parental love for children is a prototype of the love of elders for younger ones. A child is the fruit of love, that is why it is so dear and valuable. He grows, matures, over time he becomes a full-blooded citizen, father, mother. But his parents, nevertheless, still make sure that he is healthy and lives happily.

The love of children for their parents is an example of the relationship of the younger to the older. The child imagines the parents as something great, big, extremely important and valuable, which should be handled gently so as not to cause suffering or anxiety. This is how well-bred children treat their parents when they grow up.

The love of children among themselves is love for an equal. Its foundations are also laid in the family.

The love of a husband for his wife and of a wife for her husband is a form of relationship between persons of different sexes. It is more complex than any other love. Sexual love arises at the moment of the onset of the physiological maturity of a person. In sexual love, as in other kinds of love, there is an element of ideal, sublime imagination. Remember Tatyana Larina's flared feeling for Eugene Onegin:

T
You almost entered, I instantly recognized, All stunned, blazed And in my thoughts I said: here he is! Isn't it true, I heard you: You spoke to me in silence, When I helped the poor...

What is idealized by a lover in another person? One likes the eyes in him, their color; to another - the color of the hair, their length; the third - a graceful gait, a smile, etc. The ardent imagination of a lover elevates external beauty to the rank of ideal.

At the same time, marriage would be fragile if the main thing in choosing a family partner was his external attractiveness. There is another element that tightly binds the couple. This is the soulful, spiritual world of those who love, giving each of them the opportunity to open up in mutual unity - to experience the joy of life, enjoy complete mutual understanding, experience feelings of empathy and compassion that fill their hearts with a feeling of kindness and tenderness. Quite rightly, the Indian scripture "Peach Branches" says:

Attractions of souls breed friendship. The inclinations of the mind breed respect. The desires of the body give rise to desire. The union of the three drives produces love.

Parents, adults, children

The American psychologist Eric Berne drew attention to the fact that in the family each of us forms three internal spiritual states (cores) of a single "I". He designated them as Parent (P), Adult (B) and Child (P).

A parent is a complex of moral norms, beliefs, life principles, traditions and prejudices received by people not only from parents, but also from distant ancestors. The parental core of the personality ensures the upbringing of children. It teaches them to experience the joy of work, to adhere to the commandments “do not kill”, “do not steal”, etc. Thus, having matured, a person seeks to evaluate the surrounding reality in the same way as his parents did. This part of one's own "I" is the most conservative in a person. Remember that a Parent lives in each of us. He influences our behavior, as a rule, positively. However, knowing about some conservatism of this part of the "I", blindly follow the old ideas about life is not worth it, because you will not be able to correctly assess the events of today.

The adult state in our "I" is the ability of a person to receive, store and process information based on his life experience. This is the ability to analyze the situation, be independent of the Parent's prejudices, be able to make his own choice and independently find a way out of difficult situations. "has nothing to do with your age. Bold actions of children on fires are known; children compose music, write poetry, etc.

The state of the Child in our "I" is the ability to think, feel, react to events in the same way as we did in childhood, at the age of 2 to 6 years - impulsively and sincerely. Without such a "childish" quality, a person loses immediacy feelings, warmth, the charm of surprise and turns into a robot. How sometimes an adult wants to play snowballs, get a gift from Santa Claus!

P
The process of interaction - between all three parts of the "I" - allows each of us to find the best way out of conflict situations, create opportunities for joyful communication. If the interaction between the parts of the "I" of each of the communicating is carried out in the form of parallel vectors, communication is pleasant and joyful nature

And vice versa, if communication between parts of the "I" is carried out in the form of angular and cross vectors, then it is of a conflicting nature. For example, if a Parent asks you as an Adult: "Please go to the pharmacy for medicine" and you answer : "Well, I'm going now," then there will be no conflict, since you answered him as an Adult Parent. But if you answered his request as a Child: "I have no time. I want to play with friends," then, of course, arose would be a conflict situation.

Conclusion. 1. Full-blooded family life begins with the birth of a child. 2. Love in the broad sense of the word is the foundation on which the strongest of the associations (unions) of people, the family, rests. 3. Knowing yourself through the formation in the family of internal spiritual states (cores) of a single "I" (Parent, Adult, Child) teaches you how to communicate with people.

A rite is a set of established customs, actions in which some religious ideas or everyday traditions are embodied.

The prototype is the desired ideal of relationships between people.

Disrespect for ancestors is the first sign of immorality. A. S. Pushkin

The guilt of the ancestors is redeemed by the descendants. Curtius