I'm afraid of the teacher, what should I do? The child does not want to go to school, he is afraid of the teacher: what to do? The women's magazine "100 Worlds" will give you several reasons why you should not be afraid of a teacher.
Hello. I am a teacher at a school. Maybe it's funny, I'm afraid of children. I have been a class teacher for a year now. My class gives me the most problems. They are aggressive towards all teachers and towards me too. They allow themselves to talk in a rude way, to mimic. They have brought me to tears many times. If we go somewhere, then on the bus they make a lot of noise, do not respond to comments. I wanted to give them up. Then she kind of changed her mind. These children are 11 years old, and I am over 20, how can I be afraid of them. Can't find another job. How to work with these children if they practically do not obey. Their parents don't help. Children constantly try to humiliate the teacher. I feel fear not of all classes, but only of my own.
Rate:
Vera, age: 25/22.06.2014
Responses:Your situation is very close to me - I work as a teacher at a university. I want to say that this problem can be solved, but you will need to make certain efforts, primarily aimed at increasing self-esteem and the ability to be above the circumstances in which you are. As soon as you manage to cope with this, you will feel relief both in communicating with children and with other people with whom you have not always been able to communicate. Then it's up to the small - there are always opinion leaders in the class, usually from 1 to 3 people - create a situation in which you will be able to defeat your rivals with the help of humor, so to speak, show them who is in charge in the audience, and what you will have to do this periodically , and then find a group of like-minded people and try to become their friend using informal communication - for example, during a hike / excursion. Gradually, you will be able to cope with this, but for now try not to show them your weaknesses - in time, you will succeed
Sniper, age: 30 / 06/24/2014
Vera! It's so cool - your profession! Unfortunately, there is no 100% recipe. Children bring both experienced teachers and young ones this way. At the same time, they often love teachers, not realizing how hard their behavior is for the teacher. Also, children are selfish and not sensitive towards their parents and each other, although there are exceptions. In addition, there are features of the so-called collective consciousness of children when they behave worse than each individually. Therefore, the advice is this: get enlightened all the time, read books, articles, etc. on this topic. After all, they find a way to teach both juvenile delinquents and mentally inadequate children, you have to learn a lot theoretically. Understanding often removes part of the problem, for example, a little boy pulls for braid a girl, and young man gives flowers. But both are signs of sympathy. It is important for you to understand what a child of 11 years old is like in a team. In addition, it is important to find experienced teachers for live communication, not necessarily from your school, but those who can suggest something. You should also probably understand that they will not behave well in principle, but there is a range of acceptable noise, clearly define the framework in which you tolerate, and from which you take action. Think carefully about the measures, whether this is a call from the director, parents, etc. But the framework in which you defined noise and antics as tolerable - endure, they will not sit still and silent anyway: the school in which discipline was lost at the general educational level, why wring your nerves because they are not like in black and white Soviet films? Be sure to celebrate all the small victories: the knowledge they acquired, a lesson well spent, those few people who respect you and enriched themselves in some way. There is a phrase about Christians: we testify to the truth, and do not seek its triumph. You cannot give a 100% result, but you can give even a little and not many, but this will ultimately turn out to be the most important, since we are talking about the formation of personalities. Many people remember the words of their teachers all their lives, some words spoken in time, remarks, even an encouraging look. But a child is unlikely to come to thank, children are shy in this, they may not even realize it themselves, but the grain will be laid. Now parents often do not take care of their children, so children, children of the Internet and TV are like that, but the more important it is for them to communicate with normal cultured people.
Marfa, age: 35 / 06/24/2014
Sveta, age: 26/24.06.2014
Hello colleague Vera! Oh how I understand you. I have been in the profession for 7.5 years, only I have a college and curatorship. But our supervision is not much different from your classroom management. Or rather, just age. I have already released 3 groups, there are 2 more ahead. But I'm quitting. With "their" children is always more difficult. So I love them, and they are good, but there are too many things in common between us: cleaning the territory, raising money, absenteeism, grades, behavior, and so on and so forth. And all this, as you know, has to be done with great mental and physical effort. You must do all the things that are required of you as a class teacher, and at the same time it is necessary not to spoil relations with children and their parents. It's hard on present stage our education: there are many factors, I won’t list them, you cook in this kitchen yourself. With "foreign" children, this is not the case, and the attitude to everything is simpler. What can I advise: over time, it will become easier for you and you will learn to be a leader 100%. But decide for yourself: do you want this experience of life? If yes, then you need to work on your character: and you will become really stronger, you will develop from all sides)) our work greatly develops our character. If you do not need it, then it is better to write a refusal "for health reasons." Because the teacher's emotional burnout threatens with serious illnesses, and you are alone at home. No wonder we have a vacation of 56 days. Without desire it is better not to work with people. If we endure, gritting our teeth, we lose our health, if we are tolerated, then our character has changed to disgust and we have no place with children. I have developed myself (but the reason is not in the children and not in curatorship), I am changing my place of work to a calmer one, but I remain in pedagogy, I love this business =)
Hello, I have this problem.
I am in the 10th grade, I study average, not an excellent student (good student).
But I'm not good at math, and we have a math teacher at school who constantly asks me questions and calls me to the blackboard. In short, he constantly finds fault with me because of every little thing. she has nothing to do with our Losers from the class, but she constantly torments me.
To be honest, I'm even afraid of her.
Tell me how to overcome the fear of her?
Thank you!
Oleg, Odessa, 16 years old
Child psychologist's response:
Hello Oleg.
In order to overcome the fear of a math teacher, you first need to prepare well for the lesson at least once, learn the topic perfectly. It is necessary to make sure that you are ready to answer the teacher's question not from time to time, but are constantly in a state of "combat readiness". Let me tell you a short episode from my life. My mathematics teacher, explaining to us the next rule or theorem, always said that we should hang or put in front of our eyes “this” rule, written and designed on a sheet of thick paper. "Starting tomorrow, during the week, I will selectively visit your home and check the performance of my memorization system," she said. I must say that our teacher did not differ in special loyalty, she could “pin up” a student in a lesson, say a “tough” phrase, and only those students who did not follow the set rules were afraid and did not like her. And, having received education in two of the best universities, I am still grateful to my teacher for her rigor, the ability to find the right teaching methods. Oleg, that is why I recommend that you just study well, complete assignments, go to additional electives, and, I am sure, your fear will disappear by itself. But even if the relationship with the teacher does not improve exactly the way you would like, in any case, your self-esteem will increase, and you will no longer be afraid to wait for a math lesson. Good luck!
Sincerely, Victoria Fadeeva.
Christina
Hello, my name is Christina. I have such a story, I can not communicate normally with teachers. That is, when I come up to talk about a topic, or read a report, etc., then I start shaking and chewing words. I don’t understand what’s the matter, I’m also afraid to approach some teachers! And because of this, I may not be allowed to take the exam! Even though my friends say, just come, the teacher is cool. I just can not!
Hello Christina. Your fear of communicating with teachers can be caused by various reasons. For example, some unpleasant situation related to communication with teachers that happened to you in early childhood. Or some kind of punishment that you received from the person who commanded or led you.
Considering that you are a rather tough leader with your strong convictions, how it should be right, perhaps your soul protests from any attempt to control you. And the teacher, no matter how you look at it, is perceived as a person who teaches, manages, commands. And you have enough ambition to feel uncomfortable if something suddenly goes wrong as you expected. Or, for example, you will not get the grade that you planned.
Often a person is afraid of the one with whom he interacts vertically (that is, the boss-subordinate, teacher-student), if in childhood they were too strict relationship in family. Think about how your mom and dad treated you. And how did you feel in their presence, as a child, and when they, perhaps, commanded you. If you still have any grudges against your parents in your soul, try to forgive them.
Explore the subject in depth
Another reason for the fear of teachers is insufficient knowledge of the subject. Teach well, be confident in your knowledge, and it will be easier for you to communicate with teachers. You can try small. Approach the teacher on some issue with a friend. Let her ask something, and you are present at the same time. If the teacher himself adequately responds to this, then a friend will have a normal dialogue with him. You, seeing this, will understand and feel that you should not be afraid. Nothing bad is happening.
Rehearse and rhetoric
Cultivate self-confidence. By any means available to you. Meditate. Sing. Communicate more. Work on yourself. And you will succeed if you really want it.
Author, fate has given you a great chance to change, get stronger internally, gain experience and confidence, and possibly deal with the “teenager” in yourself, since children are teachers for us. I myself work with teenagers, orphanage, and these are very complex teenagers, many with criminal inclinations. Now many children have become adults, have already given birth to children, and we continue to communicate, it's great. I dreamed of working with them, but I was also afraid at first. The green one came right after uni and immediately rushed “into the pool with her head” - not at ordinary children, but at children with children. center adolescence who have already learned the wrong side of life. What could be offered to them? I then? Now, having life experience, I can give something. But I just took and fell in love with them, and they felt it - and fell in love in return. Not all. But this is normal.)) This is life. The manager told me: “If you learn to work with teenagers, you will have no problems with adults.” Here I will give some advice from my practice of working with teenagers (although I am a teacher-psychologist, but this is close), maybe it will help you too.
1. First, change your perception. Before you are people with different destinies, different life stories, problems and joys. Fate has entrusted you with the honor of being their teacher, an escort on a short stretch of the road, giving them something that will help them later in life, putting your contribution into the piggy bank. And you are lucky - you can learn a lot from them. It's an honor, albeit a difficult one.
2. Get ready for mistakes right away. Who among us does not make mistakes? Even the pros have those moments. Learn from mistakes, but don't get hung up.
3. If there are “difficult” teenagers in your class (and where they are not)), then do not perceive them as those with whom it is difficult, but perceive them as those who are difficult (for a reason, they are like that)
4. Be honest with teenagers. Nobody likes fake. For example, if you don’t know the answer to a question, say so (we don’t have to know everything), assure that you look at the information and say so.
5. Keep promises Children remember everything)))
6. Do not flirt with them, do not bribe (especially teenage boys). You are no match for them, but older, keep your distance, boundaries.
7. Accept being talked about behind your back. Teenage boys your legs, girls make-up and clothes or whatever))))) This is normal. We ourselves discuss others.
8. Try to be one step ahead of them, surprise them with something. You have talents, it can attract attention. Enjoy modern means information, modern ways to convey information to teenagers - this can be a presentation on a computer, and not a dry story)))
9. Remember that a teenager is a little man with his own fears and complexes, needs. And the main need is the need for communication, to be accepted. And by the way, they do not oppose adults, as we think, they want to communicate, only the position must be taken correctly - an older friend.
10. Don't try to be what you are not. They will feel it and take revenge)))) Be yourself, use those talents that you have.
11. Don't try to please everyone in the class. This is impossible. You also don't like all the people in life))
12. You will be checked "for lice." Turn on humor)))) Do not get personal, do not get into an empty argument.
13. Try to find something good in everyone and sincerely give compliments sometimes. Be interested in their interests, ask them.
14. Remember your school teachers, teachers at the university. Who is closer to you? There were good teachers from whom you can take an example. I remember one of my literature teachers. She was mature, extravagant. She came out to get acquainted with us and said: “So, I have such shortcomings - firstly, I speak loudly, ....” This honesty won us over.
15. Review films about school and teenagers, better than ours, Soviet ones. There are a lot of good things there))
16. Remember, even good teachers there are mistakes, there are no 100% victories - every time a struggle, only life will show whether it was a mistake. A lot can be fixed. Apologize to a teenager.
Believe me, everything comes with experience. Teenagers will help you deal with the “teenager” in you, and you will help them become adults. Good luck, everything will work out))
It so happened that I was late for the first, introductory, lesson at the university. And I didn’t hear the dean’s welcoming phrases that the main thing is knowledge that will eventually be useful to all students, that we are all heroes and wise men, if only because we entered and were awarded a great opportunity to study at the university. I missed all this. Unfortunately. The first lecture I attended was philosophy. The teacher, who immediately received an unflattering nickname, from the very first phrase began to intimidate freshmen with stories about retaking exams 15 times, about the possible shameful departure of the dumb-headed from this "worthy old university." Everyone was scared, but I was the most. Firstly, others had a good impression of the introductory lecture, and secondly, for some reason, while still at school, I decided to graduate with honors. Therefore, my plans did not include a departure from the university. Then many more teachers evoked incredible fear and awe in me. And a Georgian physicist, who from memory with a funny accent told all the textbooks known to students and no one (!) managed to catch him on a mistake, although everyone just dreamed about it. And an old chemist, with the air of a real bartender, turning over the flasks for the correct mixing of the ingredients, which seemed to be one wrong move - and no one will ever leave the audience. And a silent teacher of law, listening for a long time to the answers of students, not interrupting and nodding his head in agreement, and then suddenly saying sympathetically: “This, of course, is an interesting idea, but it only draws on a deuce.” I still don’t know why it was “for a deuce” and whether he listened to me at all, since I always read the answer from the textbook, the author of which he was.
According to statistics, unfortunately, every second student at least once during the period of study raises the question “What to do? I'm afraid of the teacher! The problem is really terrible, given that the main thing in learning is not the teacher, but the subject and knowledge of this subject. Psychologists recommend in such cases to learn how to find a compromise - try to speak the same language with the teacher. How to do it? We offer several recommendations:
1. Find and analyze the root cause of your fear. Are you afraid of losing the respect of society, having received a "slap" from the teacher? Do not live up to the expectations of parents? Get "failed" in the exam? Simulate the situation. What happens if the worst happens: a quarrel with parents, retaking an exam, six months without a scholarship. But the world will not collapse and life will not stop. The main thing is to mentally prepare and come to terms with any outcome. Then calmly think about how you can change the situation.
2. Imagine yourself in the teacher's place. He is the same person as you, he just represents life values a little differently - try to understand him. Try to find out his interests, hobbies. Having found a common topic with the teacher, it will be easier for you to understand him as an ordinary person.
3. Don't be afraid to get a bad grade. The essence of life is not in the "five" or "two", but in the "truth" and "untruth". The main thing is to be able to prove that you know the value of your knowledge.
4. If you are terribly afraid of a teacher, try to present him in a funny way. For example, soapy, or in the form of a baby doll.
5. In any case, stay confident - this is the basis of everything. Without learning a lesson, do not make a tragedy out of this, but find a way out - honestly warn the teacher, realizing that you can get a well-deserved deuce for this. Always keep the opportunity to change the situation in your favor.
Studying at the university was not in vain for me. I understood the main thing: if you learn to negotiate with the most intractable person, you will learn to negotiate with everyone. People who have NOT LEARNED not to be afraid of exams, teachers, tough questions will be afraid of everything and always - the boss, parents, tax, in the end, life itself. Therefore, in educational institutions First of all, learn to "NOT BE AFRAID".
