Love addiction: how to overcome? How to get rid of love addiction.

Love is a wonderful feeling, but there are situations when it transforms and no longer brings pleasure. In this case, they say that there is a love addiction, which can lead to disastrous consequences, so you need to fight it.

What is love addiction?

When a person cannot imagine his life without an object of adoration, then such a state is called love addiction. Experiencing great feelings, he is ready for any sacrifice for the sake of his soul mate. The paradox lies in the fact that in most cases people do not recognize the existence of a problem and take any advice with hostility. Dependence on love causes suffering in a person, and he can get upset even over trifles that are considered normal for normal people.

Love addiction in psychology

This problem is studied in detail by specialists, and they describe several forms love addiction.

1. The loss of one's own individuality and the desire to maintain affection due to the replacement of one's psychological territory with a partner. Love addiction is a person's desire to devote his whole life to another, so he refuses friends, goals, interests, and so on. This form is characterized by masochistic tendencies.
2. Encroachment on personal boundaries, psychological territories and the individuality of a partner. There is over-control and an example is excessive jealousy.
3. Destruction of the psychological territory of a person with the use of aggression. Such love addiction can manifest itself in sadistic tendencies. There is a destruction and complete suppression of the partner's individuality.

Causes of love addiction

According to statistics, women are more subject to addictions, since they are more emotional and can completely dissolve in a partner. Dependence on love relationships can be provoked by such reasons:

1. Low self-esteem. A person who considers himself unworthy tries on the role of a victim, and he is ready to please his idol in everything.
2. Psychological inferiority. This occurs in a couple where people become dependent on each other, because they find favorable moments for themselves in a partner. As a result, they connect like Siamese twins.
3. Inexperience. Young people who fall in love for the first time succumb to a strong feeling, and in most cases it is false. By submitting to love addiction, they simply do not know that there is another kind of relationship.
4. Difficult childhood. People who have not received enough attention from their parents, or have suffered mental trauma, are at risk of those who may become addicted.
5. Fear of being alone. There are people who are ready to submit and give their lives as a sacrifice for the sake of another, just not to be left without a lover.

Love addiction - signs

In most cases, people in such relationships cannot determine the presence of a problem, but those around them will be able to identify the main symptoms without much effort.

1. from love makes you change, and a person begins to copy the interests and habits of his beloved. In addition, he stops communicating with his friends and, as it were, is protected from the events taking place around him.
2. The addict feels not from his love, as it should be, but begins to complain about life, reproaching the partner for insufficient attention. Discontent appears almost constantly.
3. Gradually developing depression is considered a clear symptom, even when longing is well in life.
4. The addict destroys relationships with family and friends by his actions and deeds, moving away from them.
5. All conversations come down to one thing - the object of admiration, and all conversations have a positive color, that is, the beloved is put in the best light.

How is love different from addiction?

Many people often confuse these two concepts, so it is worth considering the main differences.

1. When there is normal love, then lovers in separation feel normal, and when they are addicted, they suffer.
2. When figuring out how to distinguish love from addiction, it is worth noting that in the first case, partners have inner freedom, and in the second, it is absent.
3. True love inspires, gives positive emotions and helps to become happier and stronger, while addiction is destructive.
4. When between people sincere feelings, then equality is present in the couple, since lovers give each other the opportunity to develop. When there is a love addiction, then one of the partners suppresses his desires.

How does love addiction end?

Relationships in which a person suppresses himself cannot lead to any good events, because they cause pain and suffering, and both partners. A strong love addiction leads to the fact that the individual does not feel complete without a soul mate, from losing his individuality and interest in life. Breaking up a relationship can end up being tragic, as there are many reports of people committing suicide for love.

How to get rid of love addiction?

When a person realizes that his relationship is not normal, it is necessary to put an end to it in time and free yourself from the shackles. There are several ways to overcome love addiction, so you can try several of them at once. It is believed that the problem is serious, so without psychological help it is almost impossible to get out of it.

There are numerous psychological methods, which provide assistance in such situations, for example, psychoanalysis, hypnotic separation and others. Experts give advice on how to overcome love addiction to a man:

1. Good medicine, which is suitable for many, is a hobby. An activity that will distract and give positive emotions will make life more diverse and brighter.
2. Work helps to cope with mental problems. Success in the workplace, career advancement, communication with different people, all this good medicine at parting.
3. Getting rid of love addiction can be carried out with the help of sports. Physical exercise raise vitality and self-esteem, and also help to improve their appearance. An excellent option is yoga, which has a positive effect on the emotional state of a person. To waste the accumulated energy, it is recommended to dance.
4. Psychologists advise not to close in yourself and lead an active life, communicating with other people. Support in such a situation is very important.

Prayer for love addiction

Priests give advice to people with different types dependencies to resolve the issue faster. It is important to confess and take communion, go to services and regularly communicate with God, asking him for help. If you are interested in how to get out of love addiction with the help of faith, then it is recommended to read the prayer presented every morning and evening.

Conspiracies from love addiction

There is a powerful rite that helps to cool feelings, and it is necessary to carry it out during the waning moon, so that dependence also decreases along with the Earth's satellite. Women must use magic in women's days: Wednesday, Friday and Saturday. The practice of getting rid of love addiction involves the use of natural properties water.

1. Retire in a room to isolate yourself from external noise, that is, be sure to close the doors and windows.
2. Prepare cold water and it is better if it is spring or well, but tap fluid is also suitable in case of emergency.
3. At the next stage of the technique of getting rid of love addiction, a conspiracy over a glass of water is meant, which should be repeated three times. After that, drink half of the liquid, and wash yourself with the second part and sprinkle yourself around with it.

Affirmations for love addiction

It is believed that a person can attract events into his life, so it is important to watch your words. If you are interested in how to get rid of love addiction, then you should use affirmations, that is, positive statements. Numerous repetitions act as self-hypnosis or self-hypnosis. It is believed that the more often affirmations are repeated, the easier it will be to get rid of love addiction. It is important to say them in a positive tone. Affirmation example: “I stopped depending on (name). I control and manage my life by protecting my heart.”

Mantra to get rid of love addiction

There are special verses that can affect a person's consciousness, and they also help spiritual perfection, and they are called mantras. They are repeated, listened to and meditated upon. For those who are interested in how to overcome love addiction, it is recommended not only to pronounce mantras, but also to use spiritual practices. It is better to repeat the presented text 108 times every day on the waning moon. It is important to chant the mantra as you exhale.

Movies about love addiction

There are many movies that use the theme of love obsession. The most popular films about love addiction can be distinguished:

1. "Lolita". The movie is based on the famous novel and tells about the crazy love of a man for a young girl.
2. "Fear". The story tells about a young girl who falls in love for the first time, unaware that her chosen one is a zealous and tough owner.
3. "Fan". This film tells about the life of a guy in whose class new girl who falls in love with him and after a while she becomes obsessed with him.

Books about love addiction

1. "Gone with the Wind" M. Mitchell. A well-known classic that describes Scarlet's love for Ashley. She realizes too late that the habit of love has long supplanted the feeling itself.
2. The Great Gatsby F. S. Fitzgerald. Love dependence on a person is also read in this work. Main character became a rich and powerful man, but fell in love with a girl who turned out to be a dummy. As a result, an inexplicable love addiction led him to death.
3. "Letter from a Stranger" Ts. Stefan. This book describes the story of a woman in love who decided to write a letter to her object of adoration, and the text took up as many as 30 pages. She doesn't know if the feelings are mutual.

Typical situations are considered by the director of the Vladimir dating agency "I and you", psychologist, consultant on interpersonal relationships Elena Kuznetsova.

“The emotional decline in a woman turns out to be much longer, because she manages to fall in love with a man completely, since he suits her on all fronts. Women worry longer and leave longer, because they no longer even love just a partner, but also their feelings for him, ”Kuznetsova comments on the situation.

The psychologist recommends that ladies at the initial stage of a relationship learn more about the everyday preferences of their lover: what kind of food he likes, shirts, what color he wears, etc. All this knowledge in the future will help to keep a man near him.

“If a woman is smart, she should seize the moment while a man is in love with her. She must find out what a man likes, what he appreciates. During this period, the partner gives the young lady the whole alignment, everything that is possible and impossible, he is “naked” in front of her. And when a man begins to cool down emotionally, and must offer the gentleman his complete favorite set: here are pies for you, but striped socks. And dumplings - also from the list. The lady must do everything to ", - states Elena Kuznetsova.

Overcoming love addiction

The stronger the dependence on a lover or beloved, the more. It is impossible to say exactly how long it takes people to recover. For everyone - the process is individual, but the general advice for everyone is as follows.

Try to leave immediately after. A change of scenery is favorable because in a new place nothing will remind you of the minutes spent together. In addition, new impressions and emotions will help drive out sad thoughts.

Another option is to completely go to work. In this case, you will also not have time for tragic reflections.

Don't forget the gym. Work up a sweat. Physical activity will help you lose negative energy and relax.

Helpful information

Elena Kuznetsova, Director of the Vladimir dating agency "Me and You", family psychologist. Phone 8-920-909-62-35. Call on weekdays from 11:00 to 19:00.

It is important to properly organize your leisure time. Try to keep your brain working all the time, so in your free time, read books (but reading should really fascinate you) and watch movies. Just do not opt ​​for melodramas and romance novels, where "everything is about me." It is better to give preference to thrillers, action films, films where there is "action".

It is better to forget about the “wedge by wedge” option. This way to forget with the help of a new hobby is not very good, because psychologically people are often not ready for a new relationship right away. We continue to love and remember one person and look for his traits in another. And when the comparison is not in favor of a new partner, we are only annoyed, and no “recovery” occurs. The situation often only gets worse.

If you want to suggest your topics related to interpersonal relationships, write to the editorial office of AiF-Vladimir: [email protected].

…When he's not around, I just can't breathe! I don't know what to do, all my thoughts are occupied with him and only him! Sometimes, when we see each other, I seem to be on top of bliss, I am overwhelmed with feelings, this is a delight! But I don't have enough of it!

I throw tantrums, yeah He leaves again - everything repeats again, I feel bad, it’s hard, I shake sometimes, I can’t sleep normally. And all life is like a swing, up and down. I'm very tired….

... When she is near - I just have a surge of strength, a fountain of enthusiasm, I can do anything, I'm ready to move mountains! But as soon as - weakness, apathy, lethargy, do not want anything. I think about her all the time. And even when I know that we won't see each other today, I continue fantasize how nice it would be if we spent this evening together ...

And sometimes, when she is around, it suddenly seems to me that the feelings have passed, and I even begin to feel disgust for her. And I feel sick, unable live a full life. And at the same time - not ready to give it up ....

Most often, this is how the confessions of those who suffer from love addiction sound. What is it based on?

Any addiction is formed when something is sorely lacking. As a rule, a person lives without it for years, but vaguely understands that something is wrong, that he is deprived of something important. And then this important thing suddenly comes, and the person rushes into this experience with all his might, feeling that this is it - what he has been deprived of for so long. And if dependence arises from relationships, it does not occur to a person to think about how adequate they are.

After all, relationships are not alcohol, not drugs, they are not condemned by society, relationships are not food in huge quantities and no one will judge you for overweight. Relationships are not a game in an underground casino, they are considered normal in themselves, and therefore love addiction is often suspected only when the situation really takes a very sad and painful turn.

Love addiction. signs

1. The absence of one's own life, the complete devaluation of one's own interests, the constant focus on the partner, the inability to be alone with oneself in a calm state, constant thoughts and fantasies about the object.
2. Relationships don't develop. As a rule, they revolve around several scenarios, which are always repeated with variations, even if people live together.
3. The increase in tolerance, that is, the "dose" of attention that used to suit, ceases to suit, you always want more, and this thirst is no longer satisfied, even if the attraction was mutual at first. “Together is bad, apart is bad” is the state that addicts often come to.
4. The appearance (or exacerbation) of such symptoms: weakness, increased anxiety, depression, or vice versa, poorly controlled and constant emotional arousal, tension, poor sleep, mood swings, exacerbation of chronic diseases.

Let's deal with each group of signs of love addiction in order.

Emptiness inside

As a rule, at first the dose of the drug seems to be sufficient, acceptable. And then it begins to inevitably grow, forcing the addict to use more and more each time.

And the saddest thing about this is that if at first the drug gives at least some satisfaction, an increase in mood, delight and joy, then, with an increase in the dose, the drug becomes what is necessary to just live normally, or live at least somehow. .

More than once I heard confessions of addicts in the spirit of “I needed to drink / inject, etc. just to get up and start functioning.”

Sometimes this is exactly what happens in a relationship of love addiction. First - joy, delight, euphoria. Then resentment, claims, tears and threats. And the need, “that he/she just be/a in order to somehow live”.

Naturally, over the years, for example, such relationships accumulate a huge sense of dissatisfaction. Because a person has already discovered for himself the fact that there is a certain emptiness inside him that needs to be filled. Whether he fully realized it or not is not so important. It is important that filling it with a partner gets worse and worse over time.

The extreme stage of love addiction

Being in a state of love addiction is forced to constantly control the partner. After all, a very large amount of emotions, something important and necessary, is somewhere outside, in a partner who, nevertheless, has his own free choice.

And, accordingly, the addict is always haunted by the fear of losing a partner, through this - the loss of what is important and necessary, emotions and states that create a sense of life. And the companions of such a situation for the addict are always anxiety, constant tension, fears, painful experiences, melancholy, depression or constant nervous excitement.

If all this is translated into the language of chemistry, then in such a situation a person has an increased secretion of adrenaline, which, in general, is intended for experiencing and reacting in acute life situations, to confront danger, to accelerate in a time pressure situation.

But to be constantly "on edge" - this situation is not provided by the body. And a chemical imbalance in one leads to the fact that other departments begin to suffer. nervous system, the hormonal background habitual for a person gets off.

And since satisfaction in such relationships becomes less and less over the years, endorphins are practically not produced, peace does not occur, and instead of compensating for stress, exhaustion sets in, which, in turn, weakens all body systems, in particular, immunity important for a person.

Love addiction - what to do?

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Love addiction is when a person is dependent on feelings, another person, and I experience suffering from this, and cannot and does not know how to get out.

Also, after another success, many people try to find their love again. And these two options do not pass without a trace. Many are dissatisfied with calm feelings. Man needs suffering and sharp sensations. And when chasing these sensations, a person can miss the real feeling.

Who is to blame for this?

Yes, we are to blame.

You need to stop in time and not torment yourself with suffering, it can simply end in psychological disorders. After all, you still cannot reanimate love without the reciprocity of a partner.

Otherwise, you become dependent on your loved one. Not only women, but also men fall into such dependence, but more often, women fall into it.
And women begin to show activity, turning into obsession, afraid to be left without a loved one.

You constantly call, follow the man and this manifestation of feelings further alienate the man from you. And this leads to the fact that the man avoids meetings, does not answer calls.

At the same time, the woman begins to feel even more distant and begins to lose control over her behavior and actions. And the woman is lost and can no longer find solutions on her own and continues to make even more mistakes.

And if a woman still seeks the return of a man, in the end she grows cold. A woman, having gone through this struggle for a man, begins to understand that he is not at all perfect and is no different from many other men. The feeling of the ideality of a man disappears in a woman and cooling begins.

How to get rid of love addiction?

Breaking free from love addiction can be very difficult. A woman must understand that this is just a “disease” that you need to get rid of and be sure to get rid of it as soon as possible until you get stuck in it. You can turn to specialists, only he will be able to tell you how to get rid of your love addiction.

1. You need to feel like a free person.

2. In no case do not drown in drugs and alcohol. Such relief is temporary, and if you can forget your loved one at the same time, then addiction to alcohol and drugs turns into an addiction that you can no longer get rid of.

3. Try to get rid of all things that remind you of loved one. Do not leave even expensive things. It's a pity to throw it away, give it to someone. Everything, photos, letters, gifts, all this will only cause great pain.

4. Try writing a letter of gratitude to your loved one for the years spent together. The letter does not need to ask for forgiveness, but simply to thank and say goodbye.

5. Do not try to look for a reason to meet and call. Try not to meet in the company of acquaintances. It is better to refuse them under any pretext.

6. Don't have heartbreaking conversations with your girlfriends. It is unlikely that you will see help from friends, they can harm you. At least the fact that they convey all your words in a distorted form.

7. The best decision, it's a vacation.

8. Engage in increasing self-esteem, remember the movie The most charming and attractive. No need to communicate with those who always complain about life and are only engaged in criticism.

9. No need to pay attention to the opinions of other people. Everyone is different and you can never please everyone.

10. Do not think about the past, go to your goals. Everything is already in the past. Try to think more of yourself.

11. Change in appearance works effectively, look into your closets and try to change your wardrobe. Do not buy what your (former) loved one liked, you need to choose what you have been dreaming about for a long time.

12. Fill up all your free time. Read, study the computer, if you have a hobby, start doing it. Start painting, sign up for a pool, embroider, start learning languages, do yoga, music, dance, etc.

13. It helps well when you state all your feelings in a notebook, so you will see how you change. You can record your feelings on audio or video. You will be surprised by the result.

And everything will pass unnoticed to you. You won't even notice it.

Love is a wonderful feeling! It inspires, inspires, gives joy, improves mood and colors life in bright colors. But sometimes it happens that it does not bring any pleasure, life turns into hell and torment. In this case there is no place for love, there is only love dependence. This condition is long and difficult. In terms of strength, it can be compared with drug or alcohol addiction. Such a feeling hurts and mercilessly. How to learn to live full life without the one whose heart has chosen a different path?

Signs of love addiction

Love addiction in men is much less common than in women. As a rule, it is the woman who literally becomes a victim of addiction.

If a woman loses her "I", neglects her daily activities or hobbies, then it is quite possible to conclude that she has a love addiction. How to overcome this difficult state? This main question now not only for the woman herself, but also for her close circle.

Love addiction is entirely inherent, as mentioned earlier, to women with low self-esteem. The praise of colleagues, superiors, success in career affairs - all this is a breath of clean air for such a woman.

Successful completion of the project, work delivered ahead of schedule, a compliment from the customer - a way out of a spiritual crisis. Work is really capable of treating many mental ailments.

Communication

There is nothing scarier than when the world starts to narrow down to a small space where there is a couple of people who find it very difficult to figure out their relationship.

It must be remembered that communication with your family, friends and just acquaintances, even with work colleagues, is another valuable medicine. Sometimes a friend, mother, sister can play the role of the best psychotherapist who can help a woman who is exhausted and tormenting herself with advice, find the strength to fight and live on.

Nowadays, there are many tricks that can quickly get out of a state of love addiction and make you indifferent to a person for whom, it would seem, feelings will never run out.

Getting rid of love addiction can be carried out by such proven methods:

• psychoanalysis;
• gestalt therapy;
• hypnotic detachment;
• neurolinguistic programming.

Often these techniques help in the question of how to get rid of love addiction, significantly reducing suffering after a certain number of sessions. With the help of psychologists, a woman begins to treat the object of her unhappy love much more calmly, and sometimes she completely erases him from her heart.

Unfortunately, these procedures do not have a positive result in all cases. Alas, many women simply believe that all the proposed methods have been exhausted and have no result.

It is important to educate a free person, not dependent on any circumstances. Such an attitude can include drawing, going to a concert and theater, painting, tourism and many other hobbies! Just one weekend trip with loved ones to nature or going to a concert can cause a storm of positive emotions. And then there will be no time or energy left to thoughtlessly shed tears just because the beloved never called or wrote, although he promised to do so.

Love addiction is a complete set of unhealthy reactions: wild affection, oaths and promises, hostility and rejection, panic, breakdowns, tantrums, possibly reunion, then again a painful break, and so on ad infinitum.

Say no to the past!

The partner, who depends on the relationship and has already become their victim, begins to suffer, alarming signs appear. As a result, this anxiety gives rise to dissatisfaction with oneself, a feeling of emptiness and uselessness appears, which may well cause depression and even provoke thoughts of suicide.

A victim of love addiction can aggravate her condition herself if she actively pursues her former partner, trying not to move away from him, but on the contrary, more and more imbued with the news of his life in any way.

Very Negative consequences may carry the news that the former partner has a new passion. In this case, the feeling of emptiness can only intensify, a feeling of guilt appears. In such cases, as a rule, events will repeat in a circle until the victim of love tries to pull himself together and start living on.

Important rule

There is one Golden Rule: you should not start a new relationship immediately after the previous ones were broken, those that were the most painful. After all, in this way you can transfer love addiction to a new person. A break is needed. Fascinating activities, as mentioned above, are sports, dancing, yoga! Anything to heal the soul.

Only after she is completely freed from previous grievances and disappointments, then when a person can realize what happened and put everything in order in his head and heart, you can start a new path. Towards something bright and bright, towards a new love, where there will no longer be a place for tears and insults, sorrows and sorrows, where there will never again be a place for such an ailment as love addiction, the signs of which, unfortunately, always manifest themselves very clearly.

The world is beautiful!

But there is no need to bring yourself to such a state when even the work of psychologists can cost a lot of work. It is better to look around and understand that the world is wonderful. It has a lot of interesting and entertaining. Realizing this, a woman will immediately notice how life will give her pleasant gifts. It is important to remember that relationships will bring happiness and satisfaction only when they are built on mutual respect and mutual desire to be together. And people who have chosen a different path should not be kept. They need to let go and focus on your life.