The child screams and does not calm down. How to quickly calm a child during a tantrum: psychological methods

During a tantrum, the child loses his temper, and his general condition is characterized as extremely excited. Tantrums in a child are accompanied by the following signs: crying, screaming, waving movements of the legs and arms. During seizures, the baby can bite himself or nearby people, falls to the floor, there are cases of hitting his head against the wall. The baby in this state does not perceive the usual words and beliefs, reacts inadequately to speech. This period is not suitable for explanations and admonitions. A conscious impact on adults is designed to ensure that in the end he gets what he wants. Often this behavior has a positive effect.

During a tantrum, the child is characterized by an extremely unstable emotional state and is capable of inappropriate actions.

Causes

The older the baby, the more personal desires and interests he has. Sometimes these views diverge from what parents think. There is a clash of positions. The child sees that he cannot achieve what he wants and begins to get angry and nervous. Such tense situations provoke the appearance of hysterical states. We list the main factors influencing this:

• the baby is not able to declare and express his dissatisfaction;
• an attempt to draw attention to oneself;
• the desire to get something you need;
• overwork, hunger, lack of sleep;
• a painful condition during an exacerbation of the disease or after it;
• trying to become like other children or be like an adult;
• the result of exorbitant guardianship and excessive severity of parents;
• positive or negative actions of the child do not have a clear reaction from adults;
• the system of rewards and punishments is poorly worked out;
• when a child is torn away from some exciting activity;
• wrong upbringing;
• weak nervous system, unbalanced behavior.

Having once seen this in their baby, parents often do not know how to react and how to stop it? The only desire in the moments of attacks is that they end as soon as possible and do not start again. Parents can influence their frequency. The duration of such situations will depend on their correct and rational behavior.

Mistakes in response will lead to dragging out unpleasant moments for many years. A calm reaction to hysterical attacks, the absence of a reaction as such will reduce children's tantrums to "no" in the shortest possible time.

Difference from whims

Before starting the fight against hysterical attacks, it is necessary to distinguish between the two concepts of "hysteria" and "whim". Whims are deliberate actions aimed at obtaining the desired, impossible or forbidden. Whims appear similarly to tantrums: stomping, screaming, throwing objects. Whims are often born where there is no way to fulfill them - for example, you want to eat candy, but there are none in the house, or go for a walk, and it's raining outside.

Children's tantrums are distinguished by involuntariness. The kid cannot cope with emotions, and this splashes out in physical manifestations. So, in a hysterical state, the child tears his hair, scratches his face, cries loudly or knocks his head against the wall. It can be stated that sometimes there are even involuntary convulsions, which are called "hysterical bridge". The child in this state arches.

Seizure stages

How do children's tantrums manifest themselves? 2-3 years - the age characterized by the following stages of seizures:

Stage	Description
scream	The loud cries of the child frighten the parents. In this case, no requirements are put forward. During the beginning of the next tantrum, the baby does not see or hear anything around.
motor excitation	The main characteristics of the period: active scattering of things, stomping, kicks, hands and head against the wall, floor. The baby does not feel pain at such moments.
Sobs	The child begins to shed tears. They just flow in streams, and the whole look of the little one expresses resentment. The baby who has crossed the second stage and has not received consolation in it continues to sob for a very long time. Babies find it very difficult to cope with the emotions that have washed over them. Having received calm only at the last stage, the child will be completely exhausted, will express a desire to sleep in the daytime. Falls asleep quickly, but sleeps restlessly at night.

When hysterical, the child can fall to the floor and arch, which is especially shocking for unprepared parents.

Weak and unbalanced type nervous system the child is most susceptible to the appearance of severe seizures. At the age of up to 1 year, hysterical manifestations also occur. They are characterized by heart-rending prolonged crying. What can cause such a condition? The reason can be even a minimal mistake in care: mom did not change her wet panties, feeling thirsty or hungry, the requirement to sleep, pain from colic. For such children, constant waking up at night is characteristic. one year old baby may continue to cry for a long time, even if the causes have already been eliminated.

Tantrums in a child at 1.5-2 years old

Children at the age of one and a half throw tantrums amid emotional overstrain and fatigue. Not fully established psyche gives such results, but how older child, the more conscious are his hysterical attacks. He thus manipulates the feelings of his parents, achieving his goals.

By the age of 2, a grown-up baby already understands well how to use the words “I don’t want”, “no” and understands the meaning of the phrase “no”. Having realized the mechanism of their action, he begins to apply them in practice. The two-year-old cannot yet verbally express his protest or disagreement, so he resorts to a more expressive form - to hysterical fits.

The aggressive and unbridled behavior of a 1-2-year-old child shocks parents, they do not know what reaction will be right. The kid screams, waving his arms, lying on the floor, scratching - all these actions require an adequate response from adults. Some adults succumb to provocations and fulfill all the desires of the little one, and another part resorts to physical punishment in order to wean them from this in the future.

When hysterical, the child can become aggressive and unbridled, but parents should not panic and follow the lead of the little dictator

Correct response: what is it?

What should be the reaction to the hysterical attacks of a two-year-old? The basis is often a whim, expressed in the words “I won’t”, “give”, “I don’t want”, etc. Having failed to prevent the occurrence of a hysterical attack, discard thoughts of calming the child. Also, do not reason with him or scold him, this will only further inflame his impulse. Don't leave your child alone. It is important to keep him in sight, so the baby will not be scared, but will maintain self-confidence.

Once you give in to the baby, you risk getting a repeated repetition of this. Do not contribute to the consolidation of this skill, do not follow the lead. Having once felt that the child achieves his goal with his behavior, he will resort to this method again and again.

A one-time weakness of an adult can turn into a long-term problem. Beating and punishing a child is also not worth it, physical influences will not bring results, but will only aggravate the behavior of the baby. It really helps to completely ignore the children's hysteria. Seeing that his efforts are in vain and, if they do not bring desired result, the child will refuse this method of exposure.

You can gently and calmly calm him down by telling the baby how much you love him, while hugging him tightly and holding him in your arms. Try to be kinder and gentler, even if he gets very angry, screams or knocks his head. Do not hold the little one escaping from your arms by force. In a situation where the baby is hysterical because he does not want to stay with someone (with a grandmother, with a teacher), then you should leave the room as soon as possible, leaving him with an adult. Delaying the moment of parting will only lengthen the process of children's tantrums.

Tantrums in public places

It is very difficult for parents to control the process of hysterical demands in in public places. It is much easier and safer for a 2-year-old child to yield in order to stop the noise and establish calm, but this opinion is extremely erroneous. The sidelong glances of others should not worry you at this moment, the most important thing is the same reaction to similar actions.

Having yielded once and calmed the scandal, you provoke a secondary repetition of the situation. The baby asks for a toy in the store - be firm in your refusal. Do not react to his trampling, indignation and discontent of any plan. Seeing the confident and unshakable behavior of parents, the child will understand that hysterical fits do not help to achieve what he wants. Remember that the baby arranges hysterical attacks in order to influence, often in public places, relying on the opinion of the public.

The best response is to wait a bit. After the attack is over, you should calm the baby, hug and gently inquire about the reason for his behavior, and also say that talking to him is much more pleasant when he is in a calm state.

Tantrums in a child of 3 years

A child at 3 years old wants to be independent and feel his adulthood and independence. The baby already has his own desires and wants to defend his rights in front of adults. Children of 3 years old are at the turn of new discoveries and begin to feel like a unique person, they can behave differently in such a difficult period (we recommend reading:). Of the main characteristics of this stage is negativism, stubbornness and self-will. Tantrums in a child of 3 years old often discourage parents. Yesterday their little one did everything with joy and pleasure, but today he does everything in defiance. Mom asks to eat soup, and the baby throws a spoon, or dad calls to him, and the child persistently ignores these requests. It seems that the main words of the three-year-old are “I don’t want”, “I won’t”.

Let's fight the tantrums

How to deal with children's tantrums? It is important when weaning the crumbs from this harmful activity not to focus on his bad deeds. Give up the desire to break his character, it will not lead to anything good. Of course, allowing the child to do whatever he wants is also unacceptable. How then to deal with this disaster? The child must understand that hysteria does not help to achieve any results. Wise grandmothers and mothers know that The best way in such cases - to switch children's attention to something else, to divert it. Choose interesting alternatives: watch your favorite cartoon or work out, play together. This method will not work if the baby is already in the climax of hysteria. Then the best thing is to wait.

When showing tantrums at home, clearly articulate your idea that any conversations with him will be only after he calms down. At this moment, do not pay any more attention to him and do household chores. Parents should lead by example on how to manage their emotions and stay calm. When the baby calms down, talk to him and tell him how much you love him and that his whims will not help achieve anything.

When whims happen in a crowded place, try to take or carry the child to where there will be fewer spectators. Regular tantrums in the crumbs provide for a more attentive attitude to the words that you say to the child. Avoid situations where the answer to your question might be no. You should not say categorically: “Get dressed, it’s time to go outside!” Create the illusion of choice: "Will you go in a red sweater or a blue sweater?" or “Where would you like to go, to the park or to the playground?”

Approaching the age of 4 years, the child will change - children's tantrums will subside and pass as suddenly as they appeared. The baby enters the age when there is already the ability to talk about their desires, emotions and feelings.

Sometimes a regular cartoon helps to distract a child and switch his attention.

Tantrums in a 4 year old

Often we, adults, ourselves provoke the appearance of whims and tantrums in children. Permissiveness, lack of framework and the concepts of “no” and “no” do the baby a disservice. The baby falls into the trap of parental carelessness. So, children of 4 years old perfectly feel the slack, and if the mother says “no”, it means that the grandmother can allow it. It is important for parents and all raising adults to agree and discuss what is allowed and prohibited, as well as to inform the child. After that, you should strictly adhere to the established rules. All adults should be united in their methods of education and not violate the prohibitions of others.

Komarovsky argues that frequent childhood whims and tantrums may indicate the presence of diseases of the nervous system. You should seek help from a neurologist or psychologist if:

• in the presence of a frequent manifestation of hysterical situations, as well as their aggressiveness;
• there is a violation or interruption of breathing during attacks, the child loses consciousness;
• tantrums continue after 5-6 years of age;
• the baby beats or scratches himself, others;
• tantrums appear at night in combination with nightmares, fears and frequent mood swings;
• after an attack, the child has vomiting, shortness of breath, lethargy and fatigue.

When doctors state the absence of any diseases, one should look for the cause in family relationships. The immediate environment of the baby can also have a great influence on the occurrence of hysterical attacks.

Prevention

How to deal with child tantrums? It is important for parents to catch the moment close to the attack. Perhaps the baby purses his lips, sniffs or sobs slightly. Noticing such characteristic signs, try to switch the baby to something interesting.

Distract the child's attention by showing the view from the window or changing the room with an interesting toy. This technique is relevant at the very beginning of a child's tantrum. With the active development of an attack, this method will not give results. To prevent hysterical conditions, Dr. Komarovsky gives the following advice:

• Compliance with the regime of rest and daily routine.
• Avoid overwork.
• Respect the child's right to personal time, to allow him to play for his own pleasure.
• Naming your child's feelings. For example, say: “You are hurt that your toy was taken away from you” or “You are angry because your mother did not give you candy.” This will teach your child to talk about their feelings and verbalize them. Gradually he will learn to control them. Once the boundaries are set, make it clear that they are not allowed to be violated. For example, a baby screams in a bus, you explain: “I understand that you are angry with me, but screaming on a bus is unacceptable.”
• Don't help your child do things he can do on his own (take off his pants or walk down stairs).
• Give the child the opportunity to choose, for example, in which jacket to go outside, or which playground to go for a walk.
• Assuming no choice, express it like this: "Let's go to the clinic."
• When the baby starts crying, distract him by asking him to find some object or show where something is.

Children's crying can bring even the most calm and balanced mother to a nervous breakdown. The diaper is dry, and the tummy is soft and not swollen? The newborn has recently had dinner, but is it too early for the teeth? Baby normal temperature, no rashes and other strange symptoms? There are no reasons for crying, but the baby screams and enters? How to calm a child's tantrum and not go crazy?

0 to 3 months

Why do babies cry when they are a few weeks old? Maybe they're just scared or upset. Parents who are tired of constant lack of sleep and long motion sickness are advised to try the method of the American doctor Harvey Karp.

First, the restless baby is wrapped in a diaper or sheet. Hands are tied to the body. The fabric should slightly squeeze the body of the newborn. Tight swaddling is associated in the baby with the mother's womb, where it was cramped, but calm and warm. The light in the room is dimmed to recreate a cozy atmosphere, and the baby is laid next to him.

If the diaper was not enough, the wrapped baby is turned over on its side. The forearm is placed under the head, the tummy is clasped with the palm of your hand. The baby should lean forward a little. The child, who was laid on the barrel, quickly calms down, because in this position he slept in the mother's womb. And the palm, with which the parent supports the newborn, slightly presses on the intestines, relieving colic and discomfort.

If the baby continues to whimper softly, he needs to be rocked. Mom or dad presses a tiny back to his body, supporting his head with his palm. The child lies on his side, leaning on his forearm, and the second hand supports him from below, so that the baby does not accidentally slip out of his arms.

Standing still or walking slowly around the room, you need to rock the newborn to the sides, as if in a cradle. The amplitude is small, the movements are smooth and careful. The swaying reminds the baby of the shaking that he felt in his mother's stomach when the pregnant woman walked or just tossed and turned in bed.

The fetus, which lives in the uterus, constantly hears how food is digested in the intestines of a woman. Muffled sounds that resemble white noise reach the baby in the womb. Even capricious and restless babies fall asleep when their mother begins to rock them and hiss. First, she makes a loud "Shhh" to shout down crying newborn. When the baby calms down, the voice becomes quieter.

The baby is silent, but is not going to sleep yet? Babies under 3-6 months have a strong sucking reflex. In order not to start a second hysteria, the baby is offered a breast or a pacifier to a quiet baby. While the newborn's mouth is busy, he is silent, and the mother can take a break from screaming.

The technique works if the baby is not more than 3-4 months old. Sometimes swaddling and motion sickness is enough. If the baby is not in the mood, it is recommended to use all five techniques at the same time.

A few reasons and tricks

Newly made parents cannot read the thoughts of a little man, so they miss some details. A tantrum in a baby can begin due to a wrinkle in the sheet or a slipped blanket, a mattress that is too hard, or an imperceptible irritation on the skin.

The screaming baby is advised to get out of the crib and undress. Check the diapers, remove the diaper and let the baby lie down for 10-15 minutes without a diaper.

Carefully inspect the skin between the legs and buttocks, as well as the armpits and back. If mom finds redness, you need to treat the area with chamomile decoction or boiled water, and then apply powder or light baby cream with vitamins. Irritation is accompanied by itching and burning, because of which the baby cannot sleep. Children's cosmetics will relieve unpleasant symptoms and calm the child.

Sometimes the child cries from hunger. He stretches out his hands to his mother, shouts demandingly and insistently. Babies grow quickly, and their appetite increases, so do not be surprised if 30–40 minutes after a hearty dinner, the baby asks for her mother's breast again. And having received what you want and satisfying your hunger, the child will calm down and fall asleep.

Young children have poor thermoregulation, so they wake up in the middle of the night from cold or heat and begin to resent. If the air temperature has risen, and the back and nose of the baby are hot, you need to take off his panties or replace the blanket with a sheet. Newborns with a cool nose bridge and tummy are dressed in long-sleeved overalls or covered with a blanket.

4 to 10-12 months

Children, like adults, have nightmares. Did the baby have a tantrum in the middle of the night? Perhaps he dreamed that his mother had run out of milk, or his parents had gone and left him alone. A screaming child needs to be picked up, shaken and calmed. Sing him a song, tell a story. Mom's voice distracts the baby from bad visions and lulls.

Babies who are 3-4 months old like to sleep and sit in a sling. The baby clings to the body of the parent, listens to her heartbeat. The elastic cocoon is tight and warm, cozy and safe. In the afternoon, mothers put on a sling, put a child in it and go out for a walk. Some toddlers love the noise of cars and busy streets. These sounds stop the tantrum and lull the baby to sleep.

What to do with crying baby, if it's two in the morning, and there is no strength to rock him? Turn on your TV or computer. Switch to a channel that broadcasts cartoons or commercials. The main thing is that the picture is bright and juicy, and the characters are constantly moving. The baby's attention will switch to the screen, and he will calm down. Yes, it’s bad to teach a baby to watch TV, but mom’s health is more important.

You can distract the child with a bright package or wrapping paper. Hang it over the crib and rustle, let the baby touch and crush it.

Dancing calms the baby. Mom takes him in her arms and waltzes around the room, singing softly. Swings up and down and to the sides, slowly twists and gently throws into the air. The attention of the baby switches to strange movements. He becomes cheerful, and the child forgets why he was crying. As soon as the baby becomes silent, he is given a pacifier or a bottle of formula to prevent a second tantrum.

Children during a tantrum open their mouths wide and gasp for air. It enters the stomach and intestines, causing colic. If the baby screams for more than 5 minutes and cannot stop, they lift him up with a “column” and help him burp.

Does the child often cry without objective reasons? Perhaps he lacks attention. Yes, an exhausted mother wants to fall on the sofa and lie in silence for at least 30-40 minutes, but the baby needs affection and care.

With a screaming baby, you can lie on the bed and talk. Read a fairy tale or come up with your own, tell him a poem or just talk about life. Babies do not understand what mom is talking about, but her voice works better than any sedative pills.

From 2 years to 3-4

Parents sigh with relief when the child's colic disappears and all teeth erupt, but you can't relax. Two-year-olds throw tantrums because:

• do not want to eat or are hungry;
• mother did not give candy;
• did not like the overalls;
• they are tired but cannot sleep;
• do not want to go outside or return home.

The kid who has Bad mood will find a thousand reasons to throw a tantrum. Mom's left eye twitches, and her hands themselves reach for the fifth point of the crybaby, but you need to remain calm. How to stop sobs and screams?

Let's cry later
The parent kneels down, looks the child in the eyes and offers to calm down, because the sun will soon set, and if you don’t hurry, it will become dark. And at night, the children sleep, no one rides on a swing or carousel. After all, you can cry in the evening, if you really want to. Children usually agree and calm down, but the adult must fulfill the promise and go outside with the baby.

sleeping dad
Does the child scream loudly and choke on tears? Mom hugs him by the shoulders and says that the baby has the right to cry, but you need to do it quieter, because dad is sleeping in the next room. He is very tired or ill, so the parent cannot be woken up. Children try not to upset the adult and stop screaming, and then completely calm down.

Fast reaction

The kid was offended by something or did not get what he wanted, and now the first tears appear in his eyes? Mom stops the tantrum before it starts, offering:

• see what the cat is doing;
• go count the leaves on the trees;
• turn on your favorite cartoons;
• check who was rustling in the closet.

Speak quickly and sharply, preventing the child from crying. Children's attention switch to more interesting things, and mom will not have to listen to offended cries.

bad item
Did the baby crash into the table or hit the sofa? The object that hurt the baby needs to be punished. Slap or tap with a stick, and then come to my mother so that she kisses the injured finger or pen, and it's all gone.

Reasons for concern

Baby crying while feeding? It is possible that the mucous membranes of the throat or mouth are inflamed in the newborn, the nose or ears hurt. Does your baby scream when you pee? It is advised to check the kidneys and ureter, exclude inflammation and pyelonephritis. Baby crying during bowel movements? Parents go to the pediatrician and examine the rectum for cracks, otherwise the child develops fear of bowel movements, and psychological constipation occurs.

Children scream because they are tired or have had enough sleep during the day, and at night they want to communicate with their parents. They cry because of unfamiliar surroundings or strangers. Parents are not always able to understand why the baby is outraged, and the two-year-old suddenly fell to the floor and threw a tantrum. Most importantly, never leave. screaming child alone with pain and resentment. It is better to hug him, press him and protect him from everything in the world.

Video: how to calm a crying baby

“A loud cry is a child's attempt
escape from the oppressive reality
after long hours during which he
trying to get used to it"
(T. Berry Brazelton)

A newborn baby still does not know how to talk and cannot tell how he feels, what he wants. Sometimes it takes time to understand the baby, get used to the new role of a parent and learn to feel what to do when he cries inconsolably (and sometimes screams piercingly). It is almost impossible to keep calm and not panic when a child (such a beloved, dear, long-awaited) starts crying. “I can endure anything, but not this crying, it breaks my heart, I feel completely helpless,” many parents say. “Let the child scream and fall asleep” is barbaric advice, and completely meaningless, because the child never cries for no reason.
Calmness is absolutely essential if you want to determine why the baby is crying and how to calm him down. When my first daughter had an attack of colic for the first time, it seems that I tried everything in the world, finally, completely distraught and exhausted, I rushed to a neighbor to ask her to hold the baby while I called an ambulance (although I was sure that these were simple colic , she cried for so long that common sense and confidence left me). Suddenly, in “calm” hands, the daughter stopped crying and dozed off. This method helped me many times when I realized that fatigue, irritation and anxiety are transmitted to the child and paused. It takes some time to calm down and regain “the ability to think soberly”, and sometimes figure out what else can be done. Having transferred the child into someone's calm and reliable hands, it is best to leave the room for a few minutes so as not to hear crying. And think.
What should you think about if the baby is crying?
Firstly, think that you are not alone, all children cry. More or less, long hours at night, little by little in the evenings if something bothers them, if they are bored, etc. Until the only way for them to “express” is to cry. With a variety of overtones and intensity, they express their needs. When you learn to remain calm and study your child a little, you will be able to understand this “language”.
Sometimes it helps to calm down by calling your mother, an experienced friend or a familiar doctor who will support you with advice or just console you.
Secondly, you must rule out “acute” causes of crying (trauma, difficulty breathing, etc.). As a rule, serious diseases are accompanied by other symptoms. Observe the child if he has a fever, he refuses to breastfeed, is too lethargic or vice versa, active, he has skin rashes, redness around the umbilical wound, the fontanel is tense at rest, etc., or just something it tells you that something is wrong with the child, do not hesitate - consult a doctor. Even if there are no visible reasons, and the child screams or squeals incessantly, call and describe the situation (for example, 03), they will definitely come to you or give recommendations.
Third, try to determine what caused your child's crying (not counting the "acute" and, thank God, rare cases). For example, American pediatrician T. Berry Brazelton describes six types of crying in a newborn: crying caused by pain, hunger, boredom, colic, discomfort, relaxing crying at the end of the day.
If you can’t understand the reason for crying right away, exclude them one by one: feed the baby (even if he recently ate, he may have swallowed air instead of milk, fell asleep too quickly and didn’t eat), change the diaper (diaper), change clothes, etc.
It is very useful to keep a diary, write down there important points that happen to the baby, including what exactly soothes him best. Also, if you think he is crying too much, write down how many minutes, at what time, he cried, which comforted him. Then, after analyzing, it will be easier for you to convince yourself that he does not cry “all days (or nights) without a break”, but only sometimes “on business” or if something hurts him. Record also what exactly you ate to understand what foods cause him allergies or stomach discomfort.
Try to get enough sleep (go to bed with the baby during the day, maybe more than once) so that you can be calm and attentive when he cries. Fatigue and irritation make it difficult to quickly navigate.
The most common, most "obtrusive" causes of crying in the first year of life: teeth and stomach.
The stomach is the most painful topic for a newborn, because his intestines are still very immature. The child tightens his legs, the tummy is tense or swollen, he may have colic. Usually, colic begins in the second or third week of a child's life, reaches a peak by six weeks, and can last until the third or fourth month. Attacks, as a rule, occur at the same time of day, they are difficult to clearly diagnose, they are not considered a disease. It is also possible that the baby has accumulated a lot of gas in the intestines, and this is what causes him pain.
How can you help?
“Do gymnastics” - legs to the stomach, hold them, then straighten them. Make a massage - without too much pressure, massage the tummy, be sure to clockwise (in the direction of the intestine itself). To attach something warm to the stomach, for example, a diaper ironed with an iron, you can simply press the baby with your tummy to your warm body (put it on your chest or stomach). The gas tube helps a lot. It is desirable that it be of the appropriate size (for a newborn), with a smooth edge. (Once we mistakenly “washed” the tube along with the diaper, it became much softer from this). The tip should be lubricated with oil or petroleum jelly and gently inserted into the opening of the rectum (you can move it a little), repeat the procedure. We used the gas tube up to 6 months if it was necessary to empty the intestines in case of suspicion that the baby's full stomach prevents her from relaxing and falling asleep.
Against "gaziki" you can give your child dill water, children's tea with fennel, espumizan or plantex. If you are breastfeeding, cut cabbage and grapes from your diet.
Feeling discomfort in the gums can begin long before teething itself. So by three months, stock up on a special baby gel for cutting teeth, rings that can be pre-cooled in the refrigerator. You can scratch your baby's gums with your finger (clean, of course). For this purpose, you can purchase a special fingertip with pimples. A cracker (drying) helps well, some children like pickles (of course, when the child himself can hold them and procrastinate). My eldest daughter was very fond of the toothbrush (apparently, she massaged her itchy gums with a hard bristle).
What else can cause pain or discomfort to a child:
He is wet;
His diaper was crumpled;
He has a cold bed;
He has diaper rash;
He has thrush;
He is hot or cold;
He does not like some kind of clothes (rubbing, squeezing, hurting, etc.), perhaps an uncomfortable fastener;
He scratched himself (perhaps even damaged his cornea if he scratched his eye);
Hair tourniquet (someone's hair was tightly wrapped around the finger);
He is disturbed by light or noise;
He has a runny nose (if this makes sucking difficult, the nose must be freed, then vasoconstrictor drops for babies should be dripped so that the baby can eat calmly);
He is overexcited (too busy day, guests, etc.), some teas, food or alcohol on your menu can also be exciting;
He is lonely or bored;
How can you comfort a child?
Give the baby a breast (or a pacifier);
Lay naked on your stomach;
Carry it in your arms, in a sling or kangaroo;
Sing him a lullaby;
Take to bed;
Put it on your left chest so that he can hear your heartbeat;
Attach to the other breast (many babies, oddly enough, have a “favorite breast”);
Take it vertically;
Put on beautiful music, for example, children love Mozart, Schubert, Vivaldi. Unaccompanied folk singing or operatic arias fascinate some newborns - they like singing voices; children respect jazz (for example, Gershwin), and waltzes soothe;
Turn on a hair dryer, vacuum cleaner or other noisy, vibrating object;
Rock with him in a rocking chair;
Go to another room or outside;
Bathe the child in warm water;
Many children are good at calming down or falling asleep in the car, you can take it for a ride in the car;
Show him or give him a toy that vibrates and makes sounds;
Start a music carousel or music box;
Ride him in a stroller, shake him in a cradle or on a swing;
Invite him to suck his (cleanly washed) finger;
Read to him your favorite poems loudly, rocking rhythmically;
Offer a bottle of water (the child may not suck on it, but a new object that looks so much like a breast may distract him);
Blow in his face (on his forehead);
Rattle with a bunch of keys or other ringing and rattling objects;
Turn on the water (the sound of water has a calming effect);
Use aromatherapy (the smell of chamomile, mint or sandalwood can be soothing);
Make a massage (stroke the child);
If speak about folk tradition, I must say that in the old days it was forbidden to discuss problems with a crying, sleepy, sick child, to call him poor, unhappy, sick, etc., to scold. Only singing was allowed. Modern psychologists explain this by the fact that in such a “special”, “borderline” state, each carelessly spoken word can be imprinted in the child’s subconscious especially clearly and be the cause of many problems when he grows up. Be careful in your words and remarks while the baby is crying.
When the child cries, is naughty, wash his face with cool water (wiping your hand three times) and wipe it with your hem ( folk remedy from the evil eye, etc.), you can read a prayer or say: “Like water from a goose, like water from a swan, so with ... - thinness”;
If you suspect your child is bored while awake:
Talk to your child, comment on your actions, read poetry, sing songs;
Show toys, bells, figurines, etc., first directly in front of the baby's eyes at a distance of 30-60 cm, then move slowly to the right or left, prompting the child to turn his head or follow the object with his eyes.
The same can be done with sounding objects (a tambourine, a bell, wooden spoons, rustling paper, etc. will do).
Put objects different to the touch into the handle (alternately in the left and right) of the child, you can make special bags, fill them with cereals, sand, etc., or cut out pieces of fabric of different textures, fur.
Do "Magpie", open the handle.
Do massage and gymnastics.
Stimulate the reflexes of the newborn.
Arrange a “picture gallery” for him, bring him to a window, pictures or objects on your walls, show images of objects on cards (or words) according to the Glen Domain method) Newborns really like contrasting objects such as a chessboard or target.
Communicate with the child from the first minutes of life and it will be easier for you to understand his needs.

Natalya Kulakova

Adults use words and facial expressions to express their emotions, but a baby that has just been born does not yet know how to talk and can announce any changes in its condition by screaming or crying. Mom must learn to understand by the nature of the "sound signals" what worries her baby, and help him cope with an unpleasant situation. Today site for moms site will give a few useful advice how to calm a newborn baby, based on the cause of his anxiety.

How to proceed first?

As soon as the baby began to whimper, the mother should clearly know what to do in this situation:

1. Take it easy. Experienced mothers of many children can easily cope with this task, but if you have your first child, you will have to quickly learn to pull yourself together. This is not always easy, because some children cry all the time, and this condition exhausts both the child and everyone around him. If there is a husband or other family members nearby, give the baby temporarily into their hands, leave the room and catch your breath. Have you calmed down? Now your task is to help the baby return to a calm state.
2. Find out the reason for crying. There can be quite a few factors that cause dissatisfaction with the baby. They must be eliminated in stages, one by one, until you get to the cause, which has become an irritant for the child.
3. Eliminate the cause of concern. If you learn to recognize the state of the baby by the nature of his behavior and crying, you will find a couple of universal ways to calm baby.

Never disregard any manifestation of anxiety on the part of the baby, hoping that "maybe he will calm down." Infants do not cry and do not scream from scratch: such a manifestation of emotions signals the presence of discomfort - hunger, heat, wet diapers, pain, etc. You, as a parent, are obliged to understand your child, no matter how difficult it may seem at first.

Causes of anxiety in newborns

There are several main reasons why infants behave restlessly:

1. Hunger.
2. Air has accumulated in the tummy.
3. Overfilled diaper or wet diaper.
4. Hypothermia or overheating.
5. Discomfort from wrinkles in clothes and diapers.
6. Colic.
7. Overexcitement or overwork.
8. Feeling of fear.
9. Pain caused by disease or vaccination.

As you can see, the crumbs have enough reasons to be worried.

How to soothe the baby?

And now on the site, we will analyze each of the reasons in order and find out how to eliminate them.

1. The child may get hungry. Our Soviet-style grandmothers will say that a child needs to be breastfed after a certain period of time, but modern pediatricians recommend feeding a newborn at his first request. If the baby suddenly whimpered, perhaps he just wants to eat. In this case, give him the breast, while making sure that he takes it correctly. All children at the age of 1 month constantly need maternal warmth and attention, so the nipple is a kind of way to understand that mom is nearby. Even if the child at this moment is not very hungry.
2. After feeding, the child swallows part of the air with milk. And if he does not spit it up in time, this can be a cause for concern. So, how in this case to calm the crying month old baby? After you have fed your baby, take him upright in your arms with his chin on your shoulder and lightly tap him on the back. The air will come out and the child will immediately calm down.
3. Discomfort from feeling damp. The diaper should be changed every 4 hours and after each bowel movement. Diapers will have to be changed several times more often, so as soon as you hear that the baby is grunting, check if he is wet.
4. He is stuffy or cold. Overheating is harmful to the newborn in the same way as hypothermia, due to the immaturity of the heat exchange system. Therefore, check if his room is not too stuffy or cool, and also if he has a lot of clothes on. Do not dress your child in synthetic clothing and air out the room more often.
5. Buttons on clothes or creases in diapers can cause discomfort to the baby. Use only soft diapers natural materials and without spools, and dress children under 1 month in vests without buttons. Change your baby's clothes and swaddle and rock him a little to calm him down. Sometimes, swaddling with handles can help subdue even the most active screamers: the snug fit of the fabric is associated with tightness in the womb.
6. The child is overexcited and does not want to sleep. This happens when there are guests at home. The emotions received by the child during communication do not allow him to sleep peacefully, and whims may begin.

Bathing before going to bed, light massage, rocking in the crib or stroller, evening walk, chest at night, a pacifier, a pleasant melody or a pleasant monotonous sound, hissing, rocking, a lullaby, a mobile above the crib with funny little animals and pleasant music - ways to soothe before sleep of an infant, mass. The same methods can be applied when the baby is overworked, when daytime sleep was not enough. And in order to prevent repeated whims of the baby at night, it is necessary to establish a daily routine.

1. Sometimes babies left alone in the room can get scared. Usually this happens when the mother, having safely put the baby to sleep, goes to do household chores. The child, waking up and finding no one nearby, begins to worry. To prevent whimpering from turning into screaming and crying, you should quickly return to the room and shake the crib or take the baby in your arms. Especially in this need small children up to 1 month.

And a couple more useful tips. Babies from birth to 3 months calm down faster from techniques that remind them of intrauterine life: sucking, rocking, hissing, laying on their side in the fetal position and swaddling. And starting from three months, babies are already able to switch their attention from one object to another and look at it for a long time. colored paper, air balloons, rattles, bright pictures in the book will help him distract himself, and soon he will forget why he started this whole concert.

How to help a child with colic?

Colic is the most common cause of intense hysterical crying, when the child characteristically draws his legs, and his tummy becomes hard and swollen. Usually observed daily in the evening, and many mothers spread their arms, not knowing how to calm a month-old baby. There are several proven ways to reduce the pain caused by the immaturity of the GI tract of a newborn:

1. Lay it on your back and with closed fingers, gently, controlling the force of pressure, begin to massage the tummy clockwise, avoiding the liver and navel.
2. Warm a clean diaper or blanket on the batteries and attach the warm side to the tummy.
3. Put your baby in a sling, baring your stomach and him, and walk around the room, singing a lullaby. You can hiss softly next to a month old baby's ear - this is a little unusual, but this approach can remind him of the sounds of the mother's blood flow and breathing when he was still in her stomach.

If no conservative methods have helped, and you do not know how to calm and lull a newborn baby, you can seek help from a pediatrician who will prescribe drugs that are safe for the baby from excessive gas formation: Espumizan in the form of a suspension, Plantex or fennel-based tea.

And you should definitely reconsider your diet: it is possible that the child reacts to certain foods that are best excluded for a while.

How to calm the baby if he is sick?

If the above reasons are excluded one after another, but the crying does not stop, you should pay attention to whether there are any additional symptoms indicating the onset of the disease: fever, inflamed mucous membranes, rash on the face or body. There are three things that most often cause concern:

1. Cutting teeth. The pain in the gums can be relieved by a cooled soft gel ring, as well as special painkillers to relieve itching, which are allowed at this age: Calgel or Dentinox-N. It is necessary to wrap a clean finger with sterile gauze and apply a little on the inflamed gums.
2. Hysterical incessant crying is characteristic of otitis media, when the remnants breast milk or mixtures enter the ear canals and cause in the ear inflammatory processes. The pain in this case is so severe that small children refuse to breastfeed, because. the process of sucking causes them an attack of pain. Try pressing your finger on the tragus: if the child jerked his head back and screamed, this is a serious reason to urgently see a doctor. To relieve pain, Nurofen children's syrup can be given according to the dosage indicated on the package.
3. The period after vaccination is often accompanied by pain, hyperemia and swelling can be observed at the injection site, which affects the well-being of the infant. To help him cope with the pain, you can give him Nurofen and Fenistil antihistamine drops the day before the vaccination and the day after it.

Remember, all drugs and doses are prescribed strictly by a pediatrician: independence in these matters is not welcome.

Often mothers, in despair that they cannot cope with daily children's tantrums, begin to look for the cause in themselves. You don’t need to do this: sooner or later you will definitely learn to understand your baby.

Ekaterina Rakitina

Dr. Dietrich Bonhoeffer Klinikum, Germany

Reading time: 7 minutes

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Article last updated: 04/25/2019

Crying is the only way newborns communicate with their parents. Yes, prolonged crying of a baby affects the mood and psychological state of adults, however, its main reason is simply an attempt to make it clear that something does not suit the baby. How to find out the cause of crying and soothe a newborn baby?

What can cause a baby to cry?

To answer the question "how to calm crying baby”, you need to find out the reason for his crying:

• Hunger This is the most common cause of crying in babies. If the baby is constantly crying, pay attention to whether he is gaining weight well.
• Thirst- Babies who are on artificial feeding, often thirsty, so such children need to be offered more often boiled water in a bottle.
• Colic is another common reason for newborn crying. Gas formation and pain in the tummy, uncomfortable sensations - all this makes many babies cry.
• Wet diaper It is also a common cause of baby crying. Check if it's time to change your diaper.
• External stimuli- if the baby is cold or, conversely, too hot, he is disturbed by loud conversations and extraneous sounds - this can cause a serious feeling of discomfort in the newborn.
• severe fatigue- because of her, the baby cannot calm down and fall asleep, so she cries. To prevent such situations from recurring, try to adhere to the daily routine and put the child to bed on schedule.
• Protest- often children cry a lot in protest when they don’t like something. These may be necessary hygiene and other procedures, for example, cleaning the nose, changing clothes, etc. Since you can’t do without it, the baby will have to be patient. After the end of procedures that are unpleasant for the baby, it is worth caressing and reassuring him.
• Teething- one of the reasons for the crying of a child aged 4-5 months and older. Accompanying symptoms are profuse salivation, redness and swelling of the gums, the child tries to gnaw on any objects that come into his hands. To relieve these symptoms, you can massage your teething gums while washing your hands thoroughly. You can use by special means, gels and ointments, which are sold in assortment in all pharmacies.

7 Effective Ways to Calm Your Baby

When responding to the cry of a baby, do not be afraid to spoil the baby, because in the first months after birth, his crying is not a whim, but a message about a problem.

Attempts to "educate" a newborn, ignoring crying, can only lead to its strengthening, and this has a bad effect on the health of the child and his parents.



How to quickly calm a crying newborn:

1. Comfortable conditions- make sure that the baby has a dry diaper, is not dressed too lightly and is not too bundled up. If the back of the head is very warm, remove excess clothing from it; if the skin on the back of the head is too cool, it is necessary to dress the child warmer. Make sure your baby is wearing comfortable clothing or a diaper.
2. motion sickness- the most effective way to calm the baby. Uniform and smooth swaying soothe him, recalling the time spent in his mother's tummy. Rocking beds or children's electronic swings are suitable for motion sickness, or you can do this while holding the newborn in your arms.
3. Walk- so that the child relaxes and falls asleep, you can go out with him for a walk. From the movement of the stroller and the sounds of the street, many children quickly calm down and fall asleep. As alternative you can ride a newborn in a car.
4. Sucking- an infant who is breastfed can be attached to the breast. In active children, the sucking process is well developed, it helps to calm down many babies. If the baby is full or is fed mixtures, then you can offer him to suck on a pacifier.
5. swaddling- very effective method soothing emotional kids. Swaddling a newborn, it becomes crowded, as in the last weeks before birth, this allows the baby to calm down and fall asleep. Swaddling should be tight so that the child cannot freely move his arms and legs.
6. Change of position- if the baby is on his back, you can put him on the palm with his tummy down, while his head is conveniently placed on the elbow. On the tummy, pain they will subside from colic, and the warmth of mother's or father's hands will provide the child with a feeling of comfort and pleasant warmth.
7. background noise- some muffled unobtrusive sounds also help to calm the baby and help him fall asleep. This fact is explained by the memory of the sensations of the child inside the mother's tummy. To this end, you can remember what sounds most often surrounded a pregnant woman. You can quietly turn on the music or TV show that you were listening to future mom. Some newborns sleep well if they hear work noises in the background. household appliances, hoods or radio. Hissing or hissing imitates the sounds of physiological processes occurring in the mother's body during pregnancy. To calm the baby, you can play the sound "shhhh" in his ear - if he cries a lot, you need to do this loudly enough for him to hear this sound.

You should pick up the baby as often as possible, and not just when crying. Otherwise, he will understand this tendency and will often cry a lot, attracting the attention of his parents.

Here are the recommendations of our moms with experience, who share their tips on how to quickly calm the baby. If you already have your own practiced technique - share it in the comments, we will definitely add it to this list:

1. Too bright harsh light can irritate the child, you should dim the lighting. During the day, putting the baby to bed, it is worth closing the windows with thick curtains;
2. It will be useful for the baby to snuggle up to the mother, to hear her voice. Newborns calm down well when they hear their mother's heartbeat;
3. You need to talk to your child. If the mother needs to be distracted and leave him for a while, you should constantly talk with the baby;
4. Make sure the child is not hungry or thirsty. In the event that he continues to cry during feeding, he may have inflammation of the middle ear or irritation of the mucous membrane in the mouth;
5. Soothing massage. Body contact and massage promote relaxation. Many babies love mother's touch. You can slowly, smoothly stroke along the torso, back, legs and arms. It is advisable to massage the tummy clockwise, this will save the baby from discomfort and colic. For the same purposes, you can make a "bicycle" with the legs of a child;
6. Bathing in warm water. This procedure will help the baby relax, relieve anxiety. To soothe it, you can also wipe your face with water at room temperature;
7. regurgitation of air. When the baby cries, air is swallowed, as a result of which the baby begins to cry even more, capturing even more air. In this case, he needs to provide a vertical position in which he can burp excess air. It also needs to be repeated every time after feeding the baby;
8. Toddler distraction. For children older than 3 months of age, attention switching may become relevant. For this purpose it will be useful interesting toy, funny items bright colors, help older children. In extreme cases, you can briefly turn on the cartoon, changing bright pictures will distract him. But this is an exception, TV little child look too early.

How to distract a child?

Each mother can find her own individual way to distract the child from crying. Here are the most popular ways:

• You can bring it to the window, thereby giving a look at what is happening on the street. He can watch passers-by or cars.
• Some kids react to different intonations of their parents. You can tell your baby a fairy tale or a poem using this technique.
• You can let your child touch small bags with various fillers. Grains, sand, pebbles or fragrant herbs (mint, chamomile, sandalwood) are suitable for filling.
• To distract the baby, other relatives can pick him up.
• Some babies are well distracted by sounds - it can be a rattle, a rubber toy, rustling paper, a knock on the door, etc.