Do guys like modest girls. Why guys don't like modest and shy girls

To answer the question do guys like modest silent girls need to define the concept. Modest - what are they? Silent - how is it? If this includes a sense of proportion in everything - in emotions, behavior, cosmetics, clothing, words and manifestations of feelings, then I can definitely say yes, but not to everyone.

If here we mean downtroddenness, painful shyness, unsociableness, a monastic lifestyle, then alas, no, a guy in adolescence (and not only) is unlikely to decide on a relationship with such a girl. Here you can read in more detail.

There is a fairly widespread opinion that the so-called. sociable, overly sociable girls are more attractive to guys than modest and silent girls. Yes, this is true, if we talk about the majority, but even they do not really like the fact that too many potential rivals are hovering around them. And certainly none of them like it if such girls dress or put on tasteless shoes, maintain an absolute vacuum in their heads, and behave emphatically arrogantly and vulgarly, while also smoking like steam locomotives.

What I want to say: extremes are not welcomed by guys in either case. Therefore, there must be a certain golden mean here. If a girl is modest, from an ordinary family, her social circle is limited, and her requests do not go beyond reasonable limits, but she is quite modern, aware of everything that is interesting to her peers, and it is interesting to communicate with her, then she has every chance to please a guy.

Do guys like shy girls? We look at ourselves

Try to evaluate how friendly, sweet, polite and even graceful you are, because many of today's young men dream of just such, and “peck” at what is more accessible. This is due to not too strong self-confidence. After all, in order to communicate with a cultured and intelligent, well-mannered person, you still need to reach his level yourself.

Therefore, you should not try to copy the behavior of "popular" girls with guys. With time and experience, young men still change their tastes and preferences, and each time you should not adapt to them. In addition, as the hero of one very popular in Soviet times film “Men” said: “You don’t know one thing about us, men: why we meet with some, and marry completely different” (this is not verbatim, but it leads to reflection ).

Of course, guys are attracted by everything bright, catchy, beautiful, sparkling, they admire it, write it down in the list of their victories, and then, with a clear conscience, change such a girlfriend for a brighter one from their point of view.

Inconspicuous, modest girls begin to interest young men when they are convinced that most often, a catchy girl is a rhinestone, a fake that is easy to confuse with a diamond that they are looking for. Therefore, in the question of whether guys like modest and silent girls, you should not focus on the word “modest” and “silent”, so be it, you should not break yourself for the sake of a passing fashion.

If guys like modest girls, then why?

Many young men find in modest and pretty girls a lot of advantages: lack of conceit, exactingness to people, lack of obsession with fashionable clothes and competitions "who will seduce or prodynamize a guy faster." They appreciate modest girls and the fact that they cannot be found in tipsy companies or with a cigarette in hand, they cannot be called "Miss Glamour" or "Sex Girls". Only the most worthy, self-confident and strong in character will fall in love, but everyone respects.

However, you should not go to extremes: turn yourself into a gray mouse or be your mother's daughter all the time. A modest girl who, in addition to all her virtues, also has a feeling dignity, and the desire to have fun, and the desire to respect, love not only others, but also themselves, will make them move mountains. It is necessary to overcome shyness, as well as to develop the ability to keep up the conversation, and to protect yourself from the attacks of the "firebirds".

Everyone needs to feel like a person, individuality, read interesting books, watch no less interesting films, engage in self-education, increase the level of intelligence, regardless of whether a person is modest or not. You just don't have to focus on it. Life is much wider.

By the way, most often modest are those girls who believe that they have excess weight. You can read about how young men treat them in the article by clicking on the link.

I have a girlfriend - a good example of whether guys like modest girls - she was just like that in her youth, but this did not prevent her from being strong when required, sociable when needed, this did not prevent her from becoming wonderful mom and spouse, to realize themselves in the chosen profession. Her husband is proud of what she has achieved (he knows what it cost her) and just loves it when she blushes (still!)

"Oh, purity, where have you gone?" These lines involuntarily come to mind when I watch modern girls.

Yes, attitudes have changed. Natasha Rostova, Tatyana Larina, Masha Mironova, Asya are forgotten. They were ruthlessly replaced by socialites, glamorous beauties and outrageous girls. To stand out from the crowd, to draw attention to yourself - this is the main need of modern girls. The only question is what?

There's someone in that much! Everything is used: obscene behavior, demonstration of a naked body, scandalous situations. All this is gaining cheap popularity. Instead of modesty and good manners, young ladies are now cultivating sex appeal, licentiousness, vulgarity and permissiveness.

No one thinks about what kind of wives, mothers will turn out from such girls, what example they will set for their own children. In my opinion, children and family do not fit into their lifestyle at all. Beautifully burning your own life is much more important than motherhood and family values.

Why am I concerned about this issue? Because I see how some of my students become victims of the media, which actively promote and impose these disgusting stereotypes on adolescents with a still fragile psyche and an unformed worldview.

And, in fact, the girls are not to blame for this, because in the nature of any teenager there is a desire to imitate. So they take an example from these immoral girls, mistakenly believing that this is exactly what an ideal woman should be.

What do my students think about girlish modesty? Fortunately, among my students there are those who are convinced that such qualities as modesty, purity, dignity are simply necessary for modern girls. Judge for yourself!

Opinion of 8th grader Markov Sergey:

“Before, girls went to school in a dress with an apron, did not allow themselves anything extra in clothes, did not expose their bodies, dressed modestly and tastefully, did not use makeup and did not even pierce their ears! And now modern girls very loose, which does not correspond to the rules of etiquette. When they meet, they kiss each other, use foul language, some even fight with the boys. I think that a girl should be modest, should be able to behave with dignity and should not smoke yet, because she is a future mother. I believe that if girls do not think about their own behavior right now, then over time it will become normal for them, which can lead to very unpleasant consequences.

The opinion of eighth grader Boyko Tanya:

“Many teenagers don't know the true meaning of modesty. They do not distinguish a modest person from a timid and shy quiet person. But in reality, modesty is, first of all, good breeding, restraint and lack of boastfulness. Unfortunately, these qualities are almost forgotten today ... Parties, smoking, alcohol, foul language, scandalous looseness and vulgarity - this is an advertised lifestyle for young ladies. And what girl would not strive to become so fashionable? So it turns out that modest women are inferior to those who hang themselves around the neck of guys, therefore lovely girls remain in the background. I believe that the younger generation should be more restrained not only in clothes, but also in their desires and actions. Every girl should try to keep her femininity and purity. Young ladies should have such qualities as pride and honor, have their own opinion and be a mystery in the eyes of the opposite sex. After all, a girl is of interest only when she is unavailable, and a vulgar and uninhibited one is unlikely to seriously interest a young man.

The opinion of the eighth grader Nastya Zaitseva:

“In my opinion, girlish modesty began to disappear from the time of perestroika and the emergence of market relations in our country, when the media passed into private hands and the former censorship was lost. If earlier there were no commercials on TV and there was a very high level of censorship, now there are bed scenes, advertising of alcohol, nicotine, such humorous programs as “Women's League”, “Our Russia”, “Comedy Club” on TV during the daytime , "Comedy Wumen" and others, has become the norm. All these factors influence the consciousness of adolescents, the formation of their preferences and interests. Thus, teenage girls believe that being on a par with boys (drinking, smoking), wearing rather open and revealing things, thus attracting the attention of young men, is cool, because, in their opinion, they like the opposite sex more. But I think they are wrong! In my opinion, boys are attracted to more modest and feminine girls to create a family. And those girls that I spoke about above are needed, first of all, in order to have fun.

3 FALSE ABOUT GIRL MODESTY:

1. All modest women are “gray mice”, timid, shy and inconspicuous.

Not necessarily! Modest is, first of all, well-mannered and restrained. At the same time, she can lead an active lifestyle and have her own opinion.

2. Being modest in our time is unfashionable.

In fact, modesty, honor, dignity are not subject to categories, there is no fashion for them. They determine women's destiny, they stand at the origins and completion.

3. Modest girls are not interested in modern guys.

But no! Many guys think that modest girls are something fossilized, something like antiques buried in the ground. Whoever finds it first will get rich.

So, what is unacceptable in the behavior of a modest girl?

10 THINGS A MODEST GIRL NEVER ALLOWS:

1. Wear excessively open and short clothes demonstrating their "charms".

2. Use bright, defiant makeup.

3. Attract the attention of guys with obscene behavior, run after boys, hang on their necks, jump on their knees, hug and kiss everyone in a row.

4. Post your own photos on the Internet with the image of your beloved half-naked and vulgar poses.

5. To be rude, rude, insult, use obscene language and skip a strong word, and also allow young men to do this in their presence.

6. Constantly brag and persistently demonstrate their merits.

7. Disrespectful to adults: parents, teachers and just older ones.

8. Smoking and drinking alcohol.

9. Scandal, arrange fights and brawls.

10. Disregard etiquette.

The question arises: who is to blame for the fact that girlish modesty is forgotten by many today?

• 1. Parents who have not raised these qualities in their daughters.
• 2. Mass media that create negative images of women.

What to do?

1. Listen to the opinions and advice of adults.

2. Do not mindlessly copy the immoral style of behavior advertised by the media.

3. Learn good manners. Conduct yourself according to etiquette.

4. Remember that the advice of friends may not always be correct. The best adviser is conscience.

And finally, I would like to quote the words of the wife of the last Russian Tsar Nicholas II, Tsarina Alexandra Feodorovna, who was an exemplary wife and mother: “Purity of thoughts and purity of soul is what really ennobles. Without purity, it is impossible to imagine true femininity. Even in the midst of this world, steeped in sins and vices, it is possible to preserve this holy purity.”

Ten or fifteen years ago, modesty was considered an unconditional virtue. “Modesty adorns a girl,” they said then, but there were always girls, and men too, who retorted: “When there are no more jewelry.” In the modern world, the opinion has strengthened that modesty, on the contrary, can only interfere with the achievement of one's goals. So is modesty a plus for a girl?

Reasons why guys like modest girls

There is an opinion that a modest and shy girl will make an ideal wife. First of all, the modest woman does not like to attract everyone's attention to herself, thus she will not provoke outbreaks of jealousy in her young man. In addition, it is believed that modest representatives of the fair sex prefer unhurried evenings to going to the club and noisy gatherings until the morning. home environment with reading a book and baking a cake. Serious people can't help but like it young man home-oriented.

Shy women are indifferent to shopping - this rather controversial thesis is put forward by men who find modest girls very attractive. In addition to saving money, which the windy beauty will certainly lower on dresses, shoes, stockings, the shy girl will also devote all her free time to something more useful - studying, working, arranging life, finally.

The decisive argument in choosing a life partner, which is made between more and less modest girls, is the fact that often modest women remain virgins for a long time. Thus, it is highly likely that you will be the first and only man with your chosen one, which, of course, cannot but flatter male pride.

Reasons why guys don't like modest girls

Many self-sufficient men are not interested in girls who are overly modest, shy and insecure. Such girls are not able to take the initiative in any matter, and even in those cases when it comes from a man, they only blush, turn pale and turn away. This is especially acute in intimate relationships, at least when they are just beginning.

Often a young man wants not only to be sure that his girlfriend is the best, but also to receive confirmation of this from others. It may be pleasant for a young man to see that attention is paid to his girlfriend, they stop looking at her; and some envy from his own friends really raises his self-esteem. Of course, a catchy and self-confident girl attracts the attention of others to a much greater extent than a modest quiet one.

In fact, there is no single correct answer to the question of which girl is more attractive - modest or relaxed. Each person has their own preferences based on a particular life experience. It is important to remember that all people have a "half" - the same person who is ideal in all respects. It is only important not to miss the moment when you meet this particular person.

- Modesty will allow you to give way to a man, since you will be able to step aside and not climb ahead of him. And even more so, to give advice when you are not asked for it.

- Modesty will emphasize all your virtues: kindness, naturalness, sincerity, softness and beauty and, of course, femininity.

- And it will be a good amulet and protection from envy and various negativity.

Women's modesty is very beautiful. She conquers and disposes to herself.

Such qualities as naturalness, upbringing, responsiveness, goodwill and tact are closely related to modesty.

This is a very feminine quality that makes a woman harmonious and very attractive to the opposite sex. Developing this quality, it will become easier for you to live - more harmony, kindness and love will appear in your life.

Other feminine qualities we develop in the lessons of the Women's School. All the details .

Tatyana Dzutseva.

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Do you like a girl, but she is very shy, and you do not know how to approach to melt her heart? You do not know for sure if she likes you, perhaps the girl is too nervous and afraid to make the first move, so she does not flirt with you. If you like a modest girl, there are several ways to get close to her and convince her to open up to you so that she starts treating you more than just a friend or buddy.

Steps

How to get close to a shy girl

Start a conversation. Start a conversation on a neutral topic - most likely, the girl will be scared if you are too persistent. Introduce yourself if this is your first time chatting. You can say that you noticed that she is doing something interesting, and you want to compliment her or help her.

• Say something completely normal: “Hi, my name is Misha. I see you every day in the library. What are you reading?" or “You did great! Why did you decide to take this topic? By the way, my name is Sasha.
1. • For more detailed answers, it's best to ask questions that begin with "how" or "why."
   • Pay attention to her interests. If you start chatting, you will need to arrange a date with her preferences in mind.

2. Start to be interested in the same thing as her. Find out what she likes. From your favorite movies and hobbies to your favorite sports, let it open up for you. During the conversation, you need to ask her questions so that she talks about herself, and also share your interests and hobbies with her. Think about what you have in common and talk about it. Understand that at first she may be shy and respond to you in short phrases. However, if you are persistent and give her enough time, chances are she will get used to you and be more interested in you.

   • One way to talk to a girl about shared interests is to say, “Oh, I really liked Finding Dory too! It was so interesting to watch the characters. What moment did you like the most?
   • If you study in one educational institution You can ask her to help you with your homework. This will give you the opportunity to spend more time together.

3. Don't rush things. Patience is the main thing when flirting with a modest girl. You need to make her feel comfortable with you. Be friendly, ask questions, share information about yourself with each other, show interest in it. If at first she feels comfortable just saying hello to you, wait a week. Next week, ask her how her day went. Gradually communicate more and more.

4. Start spending more time together. Find several reasons to be around her (for example, you can sit next to her for lunch, sit next to her in class, or work together on the same project. If you know that she goes to the gym in the morning, sign up there at the same time to talk a little with her, or at least just say hello.You need to constantly be present in her life.

   • Be careful, do not overdo it when visiting places where she happens. You just need to try to make friends with her, choose a few places where you can spend time together (several times a week) to be near and close to her.

5. Suggest an activity that both of you are interested in. This way you can spend more time together, and you can also get to know each other better and start building relationships. Suggest something simple. For example, you can have lunch together at recess or go to the movies with the company (if you see that she is more comfortable in the company).

   • No need to try to arrange a date or anything like that. All you have to do is find a way to get to know each other. A date can scare and embarrass a girl, so first she will need to “warm up” - get to know a person with whom she could go on a date.

How to flirt with body language

Be patient. If the girl is modest and shy, chances are she needs proof that you take her seriously. Therefore, you need to behave in such a way that she does not doubt your sympathy for her.

• If you said hello to her yesterday, say hello today. If you smiled at her when you met her on the way to the cafeteria, smile at her again so she doesn't think you're just being polite. Try to make eye contact with her several times a day. The girl will understand correctly your signs of attention if you repeat them several times.