Is it worth it to work under the supervision of a friend or relative? Is it worth it to work under a friend?

It happens that the boss and subordinate are friends. Is it good or bad? The author proves that this is extremely harmful for business and business relations. A boss and a subordinate cannot and should not be friends. What if this has already happened? Need to get along! Destroy a friendship or sacrifice a promotion for a friendship. Read!

It happens that some progressive mother will boast: “My daughter and I are friends! We do not hide anything from each other! Oh well! There is nothing to be proud of here. Vice versa. Mummy will still cry!

Even more bewildering are cases when the boss and the subordinate are friends. What a grief, such a grief!

This usually happens if, as in the song: “Two comrades served. Aha! Two friends worked together or two workers worked together and became friends. Often friendship goes far - they are friends with families.

They are friends, they are friends, and suddenly ... Bam! One of them is appointed head of the other. We've arrived!

According to the mind, this cannot be done, and if one of the friends deserves a promotion to a leadership position, then it would be right to separate the friends:

• appoint a manager to lead another department;
• transfer a subordinate friend to another department.

There are less humane, but still correct steps:

• do not appoint any of the friends as the leader;
• immediately fire a friend as soon as his friend is appointed as a manager.

However, in life everything is worse, and rarely when they choose the right decisions. Friends remain friends - one boss, the other his subordinate. From this moment on, everything rolls downhill, and when it comes down, it will break into smithereens. A merciless and shameless exploitation of friendly relations begins.

Friendship is so arranged that everything should be equal in it. As in the song: “Half for you and half for me! Aha! All in all:

• I told you the secret about myself, and you tell me your secrets;
• I helped you, and you help me;
• I asked you to do it for me, and you ask me ...

• the boss tells about the secrets of the echelons of power to a person who has neither relation nor access to this - he divulges the secret, and a subordinate friend blabs to his colleagues, and here you have a riot on the ship;
• the boss helps a subordinate friend get tasks easier or more interesting, protects them from business trips and extracurricular work, rewards them first and punishes them last;
• the boss cannot order a subordinate friend, but can only ask, and from that moment on, the boss ceases to be the boss, and if so, then the other employees of the boss no longer value anything, and shadow leaders crawl out of the dark corners like spiders.

Head of kaput!

And what does such friendship mean for a subordinate friend:

• it’s not friendly to hide from the boss’s friend what they say about him in the team, as well as employees among themselves, about secret, personal, intimate ... willy-nilly you will become a “snitch”;
• a subordinate friend will now take the first step forward, become a registered volunteer for all unpopular and extracurricular work, contrary to public opinion, vote for the inhuman decision of a boss friend;
• friendly - "I beg you!" friend of the chief will become an order, for the refusal to comply with which - execution.

This whole dramatic performance unfolds in front of the native team, neighboring teams, bosses from top to bottom, families ... The cup of patience of the nature of the state of affairs will overflow, and the drama will develop into a tragedy - friends will become friends.

It’s good if a friend’s boss finally transfers to neighbors or fires a friend of a subordinate. It’s good if a friend who is subordinate becomes completely obnoxious, stops obeying, raises a rebellion and forces him to be hung on a yardarm. Worse, if, bleeding with poison, they poison the lives of each other and their families.

I know that there will be apologists for friendship, freedom and equality who will prove with passion that friendship between a boss and a subordinate is possible, desirable, beautiful, divine ... Well, well! So say all novice alcoholics and drug addicts: “I drink every day, and nothing! I can control myself! Nothing will happen to me!" Nature is stronger than our foolish dreams.

The friendship of a boss and a subordinate is extremely harmful to business and business relationships. If this happens to you, immediately take measures to cure - they were listed above. Approximately such tone have newspaper announcements of narcologists. You can consider my phone as a "helpline".

In fact, it doesn’t matter how the spouses ended up together at the same job - whether it’s the result of an office romance, a family business, or in some other way. This phenomenon has certain pros and cons.

Pros - they are much less:
- Organizational side for planning family affairs. For example, it is easier to get home and to work together, to have lunch, to plan purchases, it is easier to organize the upbringing of children, to manage the household, etc.
- Disputes about whether it is good or bad if the spouses have the same profession are more likely to be resolved positively. It's rather good. When passion ends, you need to say something. In particular, you can discuss work, the case you are working on. Collaboration makes it possible to communicate on understandable topics. In general, the community of interests strengthens the family.

Recommendations for couples who work together.
- It is desirable to develop the ability to switch off from work during non-working hours. It is given, as a rule, with experience and for many - with great difficulties.
- Intersect as little as possible at work. If you have to work on joint projects, then you need to learn to give in, to seek a compromise, because, most likely, disputes will arise.
- Holidays are best spent together. Because in this way, spouses can actually take a break from work and remember that they are, first of all, a family. But evenings, weekends should be spent separately, have your hobbies, friends. This will give you the opportunity to take a break from each other.
- There are always exceptions to the rules, there are married couples who work quite successfully together at the same job and feel very good. - Probably, such couples simply cannot imagine themselves without each other.

Each person has the right to decide what to do and what to do.. Therefore, working for a relative or friend is up to you. But I will try to state my point of view.

For example, everything in this matter depends only on you or your performance. If a person is a responsible worker, then no problems should arise. And if you are a lazy person and the like, then even a stranger can lose everything.

For example, I successfully worked for more than five years with my good friend and he did not give me any indulgences, and you can earn respect with your work.

Look at the various Asian workers or Caucasians. They all get along well in one company or firm. Worth only one of big family open your own business, and here all the employees will be relatives among themselves. It is not clear why the Slavic brothers cannot do this. They would rather recruit guest workers from Central Asia than take a brother or friend.

In our society, we need to treat each other better and build relationships between relatives and loved ones. And then it is necessary to develop with childhood a sense of responsibility for themselves and their loved ones. Maybe the next generations will then become closer and be more friends.

Many of us, faced with the need to seek new job, start the search not by posting their resume on recruiting sites, but by calling friends and acquaintances. At the same time, special hope is placed, as a rule, on those who own their own business or occupy a leadership position in their company. And what a joy it is when one of them really offers us a job, and even under his command! It seems that now a career will definitely go uphill.

But is everything really so rosy?

Benefits and risks of working "under the wing" of a friend

Let's see what good and bad promises the service of friendship.

Quick employment. If the boss is your friend or buddy, then numerous stages of interviews - with the girl from HR, with the director of human resources, then with the head of the relevant department - can be skipped. It all boils down, in fact, to one short telephone conversation. In addition, you are unlikely to be given a trial period, which, you see, will have a beneficial effect on both the state of the wallet and your self-esteem.

Additional privileges. According to the old friendship, you can count on certain concessions in the work schedule, on the possibility of training at the expense of the company, on vacation at a convenient time for you, in the end, on a more convenient workplace and unlimited access to the Internet.

Insured rear. Obviously, the mistakes you made will be more tolerant: they won’t fire you for the first mistake, or even forgive a serious mistake. After all, one of the properties of friendship is to enter into the position of another.

Favorable attitude to expressed ideas and suggestions. People tend to listen more to the opinions of those who are closer to them.

But as you know, every barrel of honey has its own fly in the ointment. And working under a friend is no exception. Let's look at the possible negative consequences.

Extra work or responsibilities. Really, well, who else can the boss ask "in a friendly way" to stay late to finish urgent work? At first he will ask rarely, and then more and more often. And be prepared to do it for free, without additional reward. You are not strangers to each other, remember? And personal requests can be added to additional work responsibilities, with which the boss would hardly have turned to ordinary employees.

Ambiguous attitude of the team. Get ready for the fact that colleagues who are aware of your "special" relationship with the boss will meet you, to put it mildly, wary. They will perceive nothing but a mishandled Cossack and keep aloof. It is extremely difficult to become your own in such a situation. And some enterprising comrades may, on the contrary, seek communication with you, but with the sole purpose that you put in a good word for them in front of the boss.

Additional stress in case of reprimand. Getting scolded by an ordinary boss or from your friend is not the same thing at all. In the second case, the stress is much stronger, because the bitterness of personal resentment is added to the blow to professional pride.

Salary delay. Please note that if your company has better times, you will be the first to delay your salary. Indeed, according to the chief, you, as a friend, are simply obliged to enter into a position and courageously endure all difficulties, no matter how long they last. At the same time, the common phrase is this: “Be patient, my friend, you see what is happening with us now ...”

“When my former classmate offered me to head the credit department in his bank, I was in seventh heaven. Still: it’s so easy to take and take the position of chief, to become right hand successful businessman! But after a few months, there was no trace of my delight. A friend regularly threw overtime work, "forgetting" to pay for it. Apparently, he thought that I should do everything “out of friendship”. He said that times are difficult now, and we are partners without five minutes, so we will sort out all the cases and I will have a month's vacation and a bonus in the amount of a six-month salary. Needless to say, the promised X-day never came, despite the fact that the bank's business was on the mend. In general, when they began to lure me to another bank, I did not think for a long time and left.

Arina,
financial consultant, Moscow

By the way, the boss who decides to hire a friend or buddy must also be aware that he may encounter a number of psychological inconveniences. In particular, it is morally much more difficult to make a remark or point out shortcomings to “one’s own” employee than to a person hired “according to an ad”. What can we say about mental torment, if it becomes clear that a friend, for one reason or another, cannot cope and we must part with him as an employee ...

“My friend was in a very difficult life situation when I took her to my accounting department. And it began ... She treated her duties carelessly, was regularly late, or even did not come to work at all. The reasons were always different: either she felt unwell, then the plumber had to come during the day, then the cat had to be taken to the veterinarian ... Especially often all her misunderstandings occurred during the reporting periods. And all the time she asked to enter into her position. The result is sad - I no longer have a girlfriend, very often we quarreled with her at work. Since then, I swore to work not only with friends, even with acquaintances. ”

Maria,
chief accountant, Omsk

Precautionary measures

However, friendship will not interfere with work (rather, on the contrary), if you learn to draw a clear line between personal and work relationships.

TIP 1. Maintain subordination. As soon as you stepped over the threshold of the office, forget that the boss is your good friend Tolik. Within the walls of the office, he is for you - Anatoly Petrovich. If other employees refer to him as "you", then you should do the same. Do not allow yourself any familiarity and familiarity in relation to the boss, even face to face. You will be doing him a huge favor by doing this.

TIP 2. Do not advertise your friendly relations with the boss. So you will avoid various manifestations of hostility from colleagues - from whispering behind your back to open hostility. And it's probably needless to say that under no circumstances should you divulge any facts about your boss friend's personal life. However, the opposite is also true. You should not tell your boss friend anything about other colleagues, as they say, for the sake of jokes. This is justified only in the case when someone from the team starts something that can harm the boss and his company.

TIP 3. Take responsibility for your responsibilities. You have come to work. And the best thing you can do, being subordinate to your friend, is to contribute to the prosperity of the common cause and increase your own professionalism.

“I think so: if a person uses friendships to get some benefit for himself at work (it doesn’t matter if he is a boss or a subordinate), then sooner or later such relationships will come to an end. It all depends on the degree of arrogance of one and the long-suffering of the other. Collaboration - as a catalyst, allows you to determine how reliable the person you consider your friend is. If the friends did not happen to work together, the desire of one of them to use the other for their own purposes would still manifest itself in some other situation. Perhaps much more critical. A real friendship, I'm sure, is only for the benefit of joint work. Because everyone gives all the best, not wanting to let down loved one. Even if some misunderstandings arise, friends will simply talk frankly and remove the problems that have arisen.

Yuri,
entrepreneur, Vladimir

In any case, if a friend or girlfriend invites you to their job, carefully consider their offer. After all, not only potential work is on the scales, but also long-term a good relationship. And the risk of losing both is quite high.

Maria Markovich on whether it is worth working with friends

Almost all of us have bosom friends with whom we have been friends for many years. As children we went to kindergarten or walked in the same yard, then went to school together, copying each other's homework and playing at breaks, thought about the future together and prepared for the entrance exams to the institute. Now everyone has grown up, unlearned, become professionals, and everyone has gone his own way: someone works as an ordinary specialist in a pharmacy, and someone is actively moving up the career ladder in a large pharmaceutical company. Of course, friendship has not gone away - all friends also meet on the weekends, go to visit each other and celebrate holidays together. And at one fine moment, a more professionally successful comrade offers another to work with him or in his subordination. Is it worth it to accept such a tempting offer?

Friendship and work: pro and contra (for and against)

According to Natalia Golovanova, Head of the Research Center of the Superjob.ru portal (Moscow), “At first glance, working with loved ones is very good, because who, if not them, can be entrusted with corporate secrets and a new project. In addition, it is easier and more familiar to communicate with them. But, as it turns out, cooperation with friends and relatives is far from cloudless, and most of our fellow citizens prefer to adhere to the proven rule: "Friendship is friendship, and service is service."

According to a survey conducted by the Research Center of the Superjob.ru portal in 2011, more than half of Russians (61%) would not want to work in the same company as their relatives. Another 55% would not agree to work under the supervision of a relative boss, and 53% would not hire a relative if they were bosses themselves. Among the main reasons why the majority of respondents do not want to see close people in their work environment are the fear of conflicts, the desire to separate personal and professional life, as well as uncertainty about the professional competence of relatives. In addition, many respondents who have been in a similar situation have "burned themselves" and do not want to repeat the bad experience.

Working with friends seems to Russians a more attractive option than working with relatives: 34% of respondents agree to work under a friend, and 39% agree to take a friend under their command. However, there are some nuances here as well. For example, respondents say that they would agree to work under a friend only for a large salary or if a friend occupies a high position: “If he pays very well, then I will agree”; “I would work if there is something to learn and a big shot friend.”

52% and 43% of respondents, respectively, do not want to work in submission to friends and be their bosses. The reasons here are the same as in the case of relatives - fear of spoiling relationships and fear for one's own reputation in the company if a friend commits an incorrect act or fails an important project: “I don’t like to be friends and manage at the same time”; "I don't want to lose my friends"; “It is very unpleasant to work in submission to a friend”; “In business, there are business relationships, but there is no friendship. Tested by experience,” say the respondents.

Solid pluses

Working together with a friend is a chance to communicate even more and more often, not only in an informal setting, but also throughout the working day. Given that other bonuses may come with it.

Firstly, a friend can offer a place vacated in his company to his friend, and not to some unknown applicant. At the same time, a lot is already known about a friend - his work experience, level of professionalism and personal qualities. In addition, there will be no need to spend time searching for the right employee by placing ads on websites and in newspapers, as well as paying money to recruitment agencies. And in the future, there is a chance to hope and count on the fact that an interesting business trip or a highly paid project will be offered to a friend.

Igor (28 years old): “I now work for friends who are bosses, but we were originally colleagues and met at work. They were friends from school, and I became friends with them later, when I went to work. After another 5 years, the guys opened their own company and dragged many employees from the old company there, including me. Everything is fine, everyone continues to be friends.

Secondly, a friend can help his friend quickly join the team, talk about the basic rules of corporate ethics and help understand how work processes work. Agree that getting used to a new place is much easier when there is a good friend nearby who is ready to support you and come to the rescue if you have any questions. And for the friend-boss himself, this will be a great advantage: it is much easier to ask a psychologically acquaintance for any service or favor than an employee with whom you are not on friendly terms.

Daria (34 years old): “For almost 2 years, my girlfriend was my subordinate (deputy, to be exact). This did not affect the friendship in any way, but at work it also gave pluses: I calmly left things for my friend if I had to go on vacation or go on a business trip. If my girlfriends or friends offered me to work for them in submission, then the answer would depend heavily on the specific person. Because I will work with some, and definitely not with others. ”

Third A friend is always an ally. He can present a friend in front of colleagues and senior management in the best light, and also advise on how best to behave if the management is not happy with the work.

Irina (25 years old): “I worked in a company CEO which was mine close girlfriend. It was great, because, on the one hand, she is an excellent leader, on the other hand, I always kept a businesslike tone and subordination when it came to work. That is, I could drink coffee with her in the morning in her office and go to dinner together, but at the same time I clearly followed all the instructions and orders and never enjoyed friendship. I would even say that, on the contrary, I tried to be the most exemplary employee so as not to set my friend up. Therefore, there were no problems between us. Although from the rest of the team, of course, the attitude was at first biased: I caught dissatisfied looks on myself when I came from the office of a friend-boss - apparently, colleagues thought that we were chasing tea there, although we discussed work issues. And when, in response to a question from one of the employees in our office about how much work experience I had, I said that this was my first job, she quipped: “Of course, it’s easy to make a career when you have a boss friend.” But then it passed. I think it is possible to work with friends, but only if both understand where friendship ends and business begins.

but on the other hand

However, the situation may not always be so ideal, and in reality, in addition to pluses, there are also minuses.

Firstly there is a risk of conflicts. Suppose the boss praised his friend, and, as it turned out in practice, he does not cope with his duties at all or makes too many mistakes that he has to redo everything. Or a friend-subordinate, mindful of friendship with the boss, behaves arrogantly and puts himself above other employees.

Mutual misunderstandings can also lead to conflicts. For example, a friend-subordinate begins to believe that a friend-boss does not pay him much extra and at the same time demands too much from him. “Could have done me a favour, or given me a bonus, after all, we are friends…” such employees often think with resentment. It is much worse when such dissatisfaction begins to affect the quality of the work performed, and the employee begins to act according to the principle “as I am paid, so I work.”

The friend-boss, in turn, may adhere to the point of view that the subordinate is his good friend, therefore, he can fulfill many duties out of the kindness of his soul, “not for service, but for friendship.” Or he will try to add additional work functions, and the friend-subordinate will not have the courage to refuse or it will be uncomfortable to be indignant.

Dmitry (34 years old): “I worked for 6 years under the guidance of a man whom I considered my friend for several years before. The friendship came to an end rather quickly, because it turned out that the hierarchy is more important. Only I didn’t realize it right away and was very worried - how could he do this to me, we are friends! For example, once I suggested one effective, in my opinion, way out of a difficult working situation, to which a friend reacted sharply, saying that he was the boss here and would make all decisions himself. After that incident, I never wanted to take the initiative again. When I left the company, he didn't even say goodbye. Although, we must give him his due, he always treated me well, promoted me both in position and in salary, but the warmth and trust in the relationship disappeared. It is difficult to work with friends even on an equal footing, because it may turn out that as a professional your friend is not at all what you imagined, and you can not work together and ruin the relationship.

Secondly friendships can affect work efficiency. Frequent joint tea parties and conversations on abstract topics can take not only a significant part of the working time, but also cause discontent among other colleagues.

Ekaterina (31 years old): “We hired a girl who was a friend of our other employee - she recommended her. We constantly saw that they either chatted about something that was not related to work, then they ran to the smoking room every half hour, then they went to the lunch break for an hour and a half instead of the prescribed hour. Of course, we tried to hint at the situation in a good way, to which we received an answer from them - better follow your duties, and we will solve our problems ourselves. Everything would be fine, but work began to suffer. Therefore, another colleague and I went to our supervisor and asked to solve this problem. The boss no longer stood on ceremony, but harshly expressed her claims. And the girls still then took offense at us and talked through their teeth.

Third may leak personal information. For example, a boss friend does not want to talk about his personal life or the illness of his relative, and a subordinate friend “in confidence” tells all the details to other employees who were not in the know. Such an act is not only humanly unpleasant and can lead to discord in relations with a friend, but unnecessary details can put the boss in a bad light.

Maria (age 37): “My friend, who got me a job at the company where she held the position of deputy director, went through a difficult divorce. The rest of the staff could not understand the reasons for her depressive mood until I blabbed one day. A friend found out about this, and we "became friends." Of course, she didn’t offer me to quit, but our relationship became too strained, and it was hard to endure psychologically. So I soon decided to change my job. Unfortunately, we never reconciled with my girlfriend and no longer communicate. ”

Friendship vs work

So is it worth it to work with friends? Ivan Tyutyunji, head of the press serviceheadhunter(Moscow), believes: “It is possible, but it is always more difficult than with previously unfamiliar colleagues. The whole subtlety is that already existing friends in the work can refer to the previously built system of relationships. For example, “We have always done this to you before,” but in business this often does not work. People will always have an internal conflict: on the one hand, hiring a friend means getting a reliable person and always having a good interlocutor nearby who is comfortable with. On the other hand, if a friend is a subordinate, then this can cause conflict and the collapse of friendly relations. Young businessmen often take friends into business. If the business is successful, then the friendship usually falls apart. There is no universal recipe."

Many experienced entrepreneurs have a different opinion: never work with friends unless you want to lose them. As practice shows, more than one true friendship was ruined when two friends started working together, especially if the field of activity is connected with business and big money. “Friendship is friendship, but money is apart,” says a well-known proverb. And it is material values ​​that often in the first place become a stumbling block and a cause of discord.

So is it possible to maintain friendly relations? According to Ivana Tyutyunji, “it all depends on the friend himself - how ready he is to work on general terms. If you share the basic principles of the relationship "boss-subordinate" at work, then the conflict may not arise. If the views are different, then it’s better not to work together.” If you are ready to make concessions, know how to separate personal and work relationships and are always open to discussing conflict situations, then it makes no sense to refuse to work with good friend.

— before hiring a friend, carefully discuss all the conditions of work "ashore". It is advisable to draw up an agreement in advance, in which it is necessary to prescribe the rights and obligations of the employee, his areas of responsibility, criteria for good work and other details in order to refer to this in case of disputes;

— Treat your co-worker the same way you treat other employees without making exceptions for anyone - this will help maintain a favorable atmosphere in the team, since other employees will see that the rules are the same for everyone and concessions are not made to anyone, even friends;

- in case of difficulties in work matters be sure to go out with a friend-subordinate for a frank conversation and discuss the situation together thinking of ways to solve the problem.

— strictly separate friendship and work. If in ordinary life your boss friend treats you well, but in a work environment he suddenly becomes demanding, shows rigidity and adherence to principles, do not be offended. Most likely, the leader is trying to maintain subordination and avoid conflicts in the team;

— do not show too openly to other colleagues your friendship with the boss. During the working day, communicate with him officially and only on professional issues, and leave informal communication for your free time - for the evening or weekend. And even if you have been accustomed to calling each other Tanya and Manya and “you” for more than a dozen years, then in a working environment you should forget about such familiarity, addressing the manager more officially - by name and patronymic and “You”

— Don't expect a condescending attitude from your boss friend. If something doesn’t work out for you or you don’t have time, this is not a reason to hope that a friend will turn a blind eye to your mistakes and excuses. It's best to be direct about your concerns.