How do kids today have fun? The best vacation for a child is the Camp! Overprotection and lack of attention

By constantly entertaining children, parents deprive them of their future.

Six months ago, a woman came to see me and asked for advice. According to her, in her family life everything seems to be fine: a complete family, a woman herself and her husband with a higher education, work in their specialty, a 12-year-old daughter studies well at a prestigious St. Petersburg gymnasium, there are good even relations between parents and a girl, there is prosperity. Live and be happy? They seem to do just that: in addition to work and study, they rest a lot and in various ways, go to museums and theaters, to clubs and restaurants, to exhibitions and all sorts of things. interesting events, go skiing, travel a lot with the whole family, but recently the mother faced a problem.

- Please advise how I can get my daughter interested in Italy?

– Interested in Italy? I asked stupidly, inwardly amazed. Italy seemed to me one of the most interesting countries in the world, if only because of the antiquity of its history. Not to mention the influence that Rome had on the entire European and world civilization.

“Well, yes,” the woman confirmed. - We are going there for the holidays with another family, we wanted to rent a car, we developed an interesting route, and my husband and I have already read a lot about it along the way (and we were very interested), but she refuses. He frankly says that it would be better if he stayed at home on the couch, played on a tablet, sat on VKontakte, chatted with friends. Doesn't want to see any sights. Doesn't want to know anything. I don’t want to drag her with me forcibly and for two weeks to see a child who, with a bored face, walks after us and waits for all this to end and it will be possible to lie down on a bed in a hotel and turn on the tablet (here I realized that this picture was already for her familiar). How can I get her interested? Surely there are some psychological methods?

I didn't remember any of those. Just to talk about what you are most interested in? Surely mother and father have already tried it.

But maybe she's just tired? I suggested. – Intense and eventful study at the gymnasium, a lot of information, responsibility, and she doesn’t want some kind of educational program even during the holidays. And if Italy is without a program, just watch and soak up the atmosphere?

- We offered just a vacation - to go and ski. She doesn't want anything, you know? That's what scares me.

“Then leave the child alone then,” I offered innocently. - Go yourself and learn from the heart, to the fullest. Leave her with her grandmother or someone else who agrees to look after her. It's her vacation, after all, let her rest the way she likes. But you will be free and will not see a single bored face.

The mother thought for a moment, then shook her head.

- You understand, we do all this for her in many ways. For her to visit, to see… Only for ourselves it is somehow strange and as if we don’t even need it. And we still see a bored face. The friends we are traveling with have two children. The girl is small, but their boy is already 15, and there is not only polite boredom, like ours, but also such a magnificent contempt for everything and everyone against the backdrop of doing nothing ... They not only do not want to know anything, they do not want to grow up at all - that's what worries.

I remembered that in fact this mother is far from the first who comes to me with this problem: we have everything, we do everything for the children, but they don’t need it. To be honest, sometimes I simply dismissed this problem against the background of all other appeals to me, as if it were non-existent or insignificant. I was definitely wrong. But after all, the parents themselves often replaced this problem with another, pushing forward computer addiction: he would only play, she would only be on the phone with her girlfriends ...

Where has your girl been?

“Greece, Türkiye, Egypt,” my mother began to bend her fingers. – Austria, Croatia, Spain, Thailand, Bulgaria, Paris – we are there New Year met, she went to London on an exchange from the gymnasium, to Germany - to the camp. We went to Finland for the weekend.

- Also Prague, our friends have an apartment there. And they went to Holland twice, but she was still very young, although she says that she remembers swans, tulips and bicycles.

“You see,” I said thoughtfully to my mother. – There is such a term “sensory deprivation”. It means...

- I know what it means.

- Fine. As you may also know, sensory deprivation often develops in children who lie in hospitals for a long time and stare at a white ceiling. In part, the brain can compensate for the lack of impressions. When I was little, we weren't generally entertained much. And not everyone had TVs. But on the other hand, we almost all saw faces, animals, and even whole pictures in the drawings on the wallpaper. And they carried nuts, colored glass and fragments of cups in their pockets. It was called "treasure". I specifically interviewed modern children a couple of years ago: most do not see and do not wear. But there are incredibly many of them, they are constantly and almost continuously entertained.

We, I confess, were rather bored. We couldn't even dream of going to Paris. We mostly entertained ourselves. Pretty primitive, with elements of motor automatism. They spent hours banging balls against the wall, jumping on rubber bands or “jumps” drawn in chalk, throwing a jar of shoe polish filled with sand into it. Any exit "to the light" was an event. I remember how, at the age of 18, I went on a trip myself for the first time, for the first time in the dark I saw mountains with the lights of shepherd's huts burning in the height and heard the sound of a mountain river. It shocked me, I remember this moment to this day. Can you guess what would happen to me if I was offered to see Italy at the age of 12?

- Yes! My mother has three of us, I am the youngest, and my father died when I was 10 years old. In all my childhood, we only went to Sochi once. Maybe that's why I'm getting excited now. Do you think that all of them now do not have “deprivation”, but, on the contrary, there is such a “reprivation” or “over-privation”? Mom smiled. – Too many impressions, too much entertainment? Is overeating easy? Be sick? Is that why they hide?

– Yes, something like that. But not only that. In my opinion, there must be a gradient, a vector. Only then does life seem to be going right. It was worse, poorer, uninteresting, it will become better, richer, more interesting. So I grow up and find out ... So I become big and learn ... So I grow up and go, and I will see, and I will try ... What? What is so interesting, exciting, unexpected that the 15-year-old boy of your friends, who is about to become an adult, should want, should see, find out?

– Entertaining them continuously, we forever take away from them the “right future”? Is that why they don't want to grow up?

- I'm afraid so. This feeling of “breaking out of short pants”, which has been so often described in the literature and which is condemned by all fans of a “happy childhood” (including psychologists), is it really so unconstructive in a psychological sense? A clear feeling of moving forward, out of boredom, deprivation, lack of freedom, dependence, irresponsibility - is it really that bad?

– But what to do? I can't send my daughter out into the yard with a shoe polish box! She just won't meet anyone there. Everyone is skiing or sitting at home with tablets.

I do not know what to do. I just feel like there's a problem here. Learning should be interesting. Knowledge must be presented to children in a playful, exciting way. From the very beginning, the child needs to be shown everything, to explain - without fail benevolently and patiently. He needs to show the world. You need to learn everything, preferably as early as possible and in the very the best place that you can reach. At the same time, the child needs to be captivated, he should not be bored, you cannot “ignore” him, you need to deal with him, “all the best for children.” All this is good, it sounds pleasant to my ear too. When I see the modern cognitive opportunities provided to children, I still sometimes envy (“if only we had such things in childhood ...”). But I also see the other side. Children who are used to being entertained can no longer occupy themselves with anything other than cartoons or games on a tablet (but you can’t say “themselves” about these activities). Children who do not know how to overcome real difficulties (and why?), wait and fight boredom. Teenagers who want nothing at all and who are not interested in anything in the real world. early depressions. Reluctance to grow up.

What do you think about this, dear readers? Personally, here's what interests me the most: individual parent clearly has a certain degree of freedom in this matter (although, if he decides now not to be zealous with a “happy childhood”, he will obviously have to go “against the flow”). But society, public consciousness as a whole - in connection with the above, can it somehow constructively modify the concept of a “happy childhood”, or is it beyond its power?

Katerina Murashova

What parent doesn't want their child to get the most out of their childhood? That's why we try to go to the water park on the weekends instead of lying on the couch with a beer. Therefore, we squabble with the authorities for a ticket to a sports camp for an idiot, we take him to an English lesson instead of a sticky movie with Batman. It seems that you give all your best for him - karting, developing circles, museums - and he leaves the next trip and immodestly opens his mouth, they say, this zoo is green and the ice cream is also tasteless!

Why is it so? You try, create new impressions, but the child is always dissatisfied, ruffling and capricious from scratch? Either he does not appreciate parental efforts, or the adults themselves have missed something behind the endless attempts to entertain ...

Communication with the child: is there contact?

Sad as it may seem, but modern parents have long lost contact with their offspring - they stopped talking heart to heart, spending time repairing sockets, as well as simply being interested in the inner world. Work, business trips… it’s much easier to pay off a child by giving another cool gadget or taking them to Disneyland. "Have fun gold! Run, buy lollipops, just don’t touch me, I’m tired ... ”Thousands of toys allow you to practically not intersect with noisy“ bark beetles ”, besides, there is always cover from their whining: “Dad works hard to make you feel good!”

What does a child need? Not money, not toys, and certainly not golden cage. The child wants to be able to be close to mom and dad, share his thoughts and dreams, hug them when it's bad, get their support. He wants his mother to kiss his wound when it hurts, for his father to answer stupid questions about children and cabbage, for him to be taught to be the same adult and strong. That is why, at every opportunity, he irritates adults so much with his "why" and "let's play."

By and large, he does not need entertainment and ice cream, he wants to keep in touch with his parents, to be able to share his experiences. And when this does not happen, another adult appears who feels the lack of something important, does not believe in the kindness of people and does not know how to maintain full-fledged relationships. Another unfortunate who is trying to plug a hole inside with high achievements, social success, shocking or smart thoughts.

generation of selfish

From the outside, it may seem that a parent who indulges a child in everything is an example true love, However, it is not. Instead of satisfying the child's real needs for love and acceptance, he listens to his whims and petty pleasures, growing an egoist. Such a child from childhood gets used to the fact that the adult world revolves around his highness, and grows up with the feeling that everyone owes him something. Parents - an apartment and status, society - a good social package, a husband - diamonds, a child - high marks and obedience. It turns out that he unnecessarily concentrates on external attributes instead of their content.

To avoid such a distortion of personality, you need to focus on other things. Not just give your daughter expensive toys, but invite her to bake a cake together and decorate it however she wants. Not just send your son to an expensive camp, but go camping together, teach him how to put up a tent and cook porridge over a fire. There should be communication, full-fledged joint interaction, and not "here's a candy for you, goodbye."

A child is happy when he has the opportunity to be close to his parents, no matter what they do together - wash clothes, repair the table or cook an omelette for breakfast. Yes, it is easier to put on a cartoon, but it will not be of such value for him as ordinary chatter nearby. At the same time, you do not need to concentrate all your attention on the child, go about your daily activities and let the “bark beetle” just be around, the effect will surprise you! The child will become calmer, more self-confident, will quickly grasp new knowledge and get sick less often.

The key to a happy childhood is happy parents

What is the problem with most families with children? Adults try so hard to make children feel good that they forget about themselves and their “wants”. The decision to rest is made in favor of the children, the weekends are spent in the way that would be best for the children, and even repairs in the house are done for small ones. But therein lies the trick! What do kids want? They want to see mom and dad happy, and not languishing from hopelessness and boredom. Therefore, it is foolish to give up your interests, to sacrifice your desires so that others feel good, this does not work.

Do you want to go mountain hiking? So go there with your kids. Seeing how your eyes burn, the children will be much more satisfied with such a vacation. Do not worry about the fact that something is not for their age, it is better to live difficult, but interesting, than to drive yourself into frames for the sake of a child. Soon the children will grow up, they will have their own interests and plans, from that moment you will provide them with personal space. In the meantime, do not deny them the desire to be near you.

Children do not need sacrifices, they need full and happy parents happy with life. Do not drive yourself into a corner, otherwise in the future you will torture your child with insults in the style of “I spent best years ungrateful puppy. Live for yourself and connect your offspring to this game. Be an example for them!

2017-09-25

Have you ever noticed that over the past 10 years our yards have become empty? Modern children prefer to spend their leisure time sitting at a computer or other gadget, and this makes them a little sad.

1. Grab and pull

Rules

The game requires two teams, preferably at least 5 people in each. Two teams line up opposite each other in an even row, a line is drawn between them. The essence of the game was to grab and drag a member of the opposing team to your side, without stepping over the drawn line into the territory of the opponents. The game was considered over when only one player remained on one of the sides.

2. Swing on a lamppost

This game was a favorite activity of children in the post-war period in the second half of the 40s.

Rules

All you need to build a swing is a simple Street light on two shades and a strong rope. The two ends of the rope were thrown over the holder of the ceiling, tied around it, and the loop hanging below served as a fun swing for the children.

3. hide and seek


All children, until the early 2000s, played this game in a crowd, hiding in the yard behind bushes, cars, and in other places accessible to the imagination. The game is incredibly simple, so you can play it anywhere.

Rules

To begin with, with the help of any counting rhyme, they choose water or a catcher, to whom it is closer. After that, the selected catcher becomes facing some wall, tree, etc. and starts the countdown: “One-two-three-four-five, I’m going to look. Ready or not, here I come". During this time, the rest of the players must hide. The task of the catcher is to find everyone and be the first to “catch” them at the place where the report began, i.e. the catcher runs in a race with the found participant to the indicated place and, upon reaching the goal, shouts: “Knock-knock Vova (name of the found participant)”, but if the found participant ran first, he shouts: “Knock-knock for himself”. Whoever the catcher "catch" last, he takes his place.

4. edible-inedible


A fun ball game that focuses on the attention of the participants.

Rules

All participants stand in a row or sit on a bench. The chosen leader begins to throw a ball to each of them with the name of different food or non-edible items. The participant to whom the ball is addressed must catch it when calling edible product with the word "edible", and if an item is named that is not suitable for food, then the ball must be hit back to the leader with the word "inedible". The host can throw the ball to the participants without respecting the order of the players, as well as increase the speed and pace of the throws to confuse them. The one who did the action incorrectly is considered the loser and takes the place of the leader, and the leader goes to his place.

5. salochki


This is the simplest but exciting game, it is also called catch-up, kvach or "catching". In general, it has only up to 40 variants of names.

Rules

With the help of a counter, a catch is indicated, which is trying to catch up with the participants running away from it in different directions. Usually the boundaries where you can reach are indicated. If the catch caught up with someone and touched him, then he becomes a runaway, and the one who could not escape becomes a catch.

6. Sif

This game resembles a variant of tagging, but only the catcher, who is also a “sif”, should not touch the fleeing participant with his hand, but throw some light object, most often dirty or smelly, to him. To do this, use a rag or twisted rope, and if you play on the beach, you can throw wet sand. Whoever the catcher hit, he becomes the new "Sif".

7. Classics


One of the oldest games, it has been played by boys since the middle of the 19th century, at first it was considered a purely boyish game. This game came to Russia by the end of the same century.

Rules

On an asphalted platform, 10 squares are drawn with chalk in a rectangular field, which ends with a semicircle, called “fire”, “cauldron” or “water” by different children. There are also several options for marking the field, but the essence of the game does not change from this. For the game, a pebble is taken, which is thrown to the first square to begin with, after which the player begins to jump alternately, then on one foot, then on the other, then on two, while pushing the pebble behind him. When the player reaches the last square, he needs to turn around 180 degrees in a jump and "jump" everything in the reverse order. During the jumps, you can not step on the marking lines or confuse the order of the legs, otherwise you will have to give way to another player and then start all over again.

8. beat out


During the game, you can be well charged with the ball, but this not only does not stop the players, but even more provokes them. The game is very simple and apart from the ball and an unlimited number of players, nothing else is needed.

Rules

Knockouts are selected (they can also be called bouncers) at will or with the help of the same counting rhyme. There can be one or two people on each side, the remaining players become the center. The task was to get the ball into the players jumping away from it, i.e. knock them out. Players being knocked out are allowed to catch the ball, but they must not let it go to the ground, as then the player will be considered "knocked out". The last player must try to dodge the ball as many times as his age, and if he succeeds, the dodgeballs do not change. The game continues until all players are eliminated. After that, the first and last knocked out become knockouts.

9.rubber band


Favorite girl's game of the 60-90s of the twentieth century. Most often, a long knitted elastic band was used for the game. And the owner of a special elastic and high-quality elastic band was considered a “major” at that time, since such an elastic band was in short supply.

Rules

Two players pull the elastic between themselves, the third player starts to jump. There are different levels in the game, depending on the height of the elastic band from the floor, in the ankle area it was considered the easiest, and each time it rose higher and higher, the number of levels is not limited, the main thing is that the player can jump. There were also many techniques with which the player had to complete the most levels.

10. jump rope


Jumping rope was one of the favorite activities of the kids.

Rules

I had to jump rope different styles, which were determined by difficulty levels, increasing the speed. It was possible to play both alone, setting the pace on their own, and several participants who held the rope and increased the speed of the jumping player.

11. Cossack robbers


Another cult game that was played by more than one generation of guys. They say that the game originated in the 16th century under real Cossacks, when they had to fight off frequent raids of various enemies.

Rules

Depending on the region, the rules may have differed, but the essence of the game remains the same. To play, you need two teams, respectively - "Cossacks" and "Robbers". A “battlefield” is designated, beyond which it is impossible to go during the game, chieftains and leaders in teams are selected. The Cossacks determine the place of headquarters and equip the "dungeon", and the robbers come up with passwords, among which only one can be correct, the rest are obviously false. After all the preparations, the robbers scatter and hide, leaving hint marks for the Cossacks, and the Cossacks must look for them. In the game, the Cossacks are trying to catch all the robbers, and the robbers are trying to capture the headquarters of the Cossacks.

12. Hot potato


Favorite game for kids who grew up in the 70s, 80s and 90s.

Rules

Children stand in a circle and throw the ball (hot potato) to each other, those who dropped the ball or did not have time to quickly hit it and hesitated, squat in the center of the circle (cauldron) and in this position try to catch the ball flying over them. The remaining participants can say to those sitting in the "cauldron": "Cook, cook potatoes, but don't jump out." If the participant in the center of the circle manages to catch the ball, then all the “boiling potatoes in the cauldron” are released, and the one who missed the ball sits in the center in their place, and the game continues ad infinitum.

13.Square


Basically, the game was boyish, but sometimes especially active and athletic girls joined. 90s era game for 4 players.

Rules

To play, you need a ball or a sox (most often, for its manufacture, they took the bow of the sock, sewed it together, after filling it with sand, flour or some kind of cereal). Then a huge square was drawn on the asphalt, which was divided into four more equal parts. In each square there is a player who must throw the ball or sox to each other exclusively with their feet, while they cannot miss it on the ground and go beyond their squares. The one who missed the ball or went out of the square is out of the game.

14. Elephant


A game requiring physical strength, so it was played by older children.

Rules

According to the rules, it is necessary to divide into two teams "Elephant" and "Riders". Children from the “Elephant” group stand, bending over one after another, firmly pressing their shoulder to the thigh in front of the one standing in front, clasping him with both hands. The “Riders” must jump in turn onto the back of the “Elephant” as close to the head as possible. The essence of the task is that the "Elephant" endured the "Riders" on the back, and the "Riders" must stay on it.

15. Goat or frog


This game has been popular with kids for a very long time.

Rules

To play, you need to choose a flat, blank wall on which lines are drawn in height, indicating levels. Each player must throw the ball against the wall not lower than a given mark, and when he, hitting the wall, flies off, the throwing participant must jump over it before hitting the ground. The one who did not jump over receives the letter “K-o-z-e-l” or “J-a-b-k-a” as a punishment in turn, the names may vary depending on the region.

Header - lure - zastavlka

The most important thing a child needs is love and understanding. In the modern age high technology people really lack living measured communication. Therefore, it is very important to communicate with children, such interaction is effective at the time of the game. Let's imagine that the weather has made its own adjustments to the daily schedule, and you are left alone with the baby. Game ideas can come in handy if you organize children's holiday or evening.

Joint activities with children - better pastime

Ideas for joint activities must be recorded, for some reason, at the most necessary moment, all ideas do not come to mind, and children are not used to waiting and preparing for a game for a long time.

Games for the little ones

Fun for older kids

Very interesting option for children role playing, where you can entertain each other by changing roles with children, play school, hospital, veterinary clinic, atelier, shop. Inventory can always be found in the household. For such entertainment games are easy, at ease, for a long time.

joint crafts

If you have the skills to make crafts, you can make a real puppet theater or a puppet with hinges together with children, for making you will need the simplest materials at hand, such a toy is easy to transform and develop. If the next day the weather has not changed, you know how to entertain the baby.

Crafts from pasta and cereals - make a competition, who will come up with the best

If you have a lot cardboard boxes, then you can do the design of the house. It will be interesting for both girls and boys. Creative thought has no boundaries, you can build your own multi-storey building, develop a layout of rooms and an interior. If you still have building materials after repair, then it would be nice to find a use for them, especially since you won’t need a lot of them to equip a toy house.

This activity is very interesting, you can paste wallpaper on the walls, draw pictures, sew curtains, make small dolls.

Water activities

If you do not have lighting, then you can try to make an original candle based on cardboard and a flashlight. Make a cylinder out of cardboard, apply a pattern on the side surface with a hole punch or needle. Different paintings can shine on the walls of the apartment. In such an environment, you can try to organize a shadow theater, children are always very mesmerized.

A homemade bottle feeder will be a source of pride

If the child loves animals and birds, then you can try to make a bird feeder with him. It is desirable that dad participate in this. Such a house can be hung in the yard or park, every time you walk you can pour seeds, grains of bread crumbs into the feeder. In this way, you will develop a sense of compassion in your child.

If you are in the kitchen, you can make paintings and crafts from cereals and pasta. For creativity, you will need a board with a layer of plasticine, on it you can depict the plot of a fairy tale or a story you have invented. From pasta, you can make a set of beads and a bracelet. If food coloring or paints are at hand, then color the crafts in different colors. The kid will be delighted, so the whole exhibition is organized.

If you have a balcony, then you can arrange a launch soap bubbles. This activity captivates not only children, but also adults. Just try to keep the wind away from the neighboring balconies. No one wants to wash soap stains from glass.

Ice crafts are very easy to make.

An interesting direction of creativity is work based on ice. Mono collect flowering and green plants on the street, form a composition, pour water, add a little food coloring for a rich color. Of course, the lifetime of such a work is limited, but you can take a picture of the craft as a keepsake.

The refrigerator can freeze water in balloons with the addition of food coloring. When the mixture is frozen, just cut the balls. As a result, you get multi-colored ice balls.

Make snowflakes for the Christmas tree with your child

Approaching new year holidays you can decorate the apartment, make snowflakes and lanterns. Often, winter weather does not always make us happy, so it's time to start creating comfort on the eve of the New Year holidays. You can find many instructions for making crafts. The child is very pleased to see the fruits of his creativity at home.

Give your child a magnifying glass - he will find something for himself

If you are fond of yoga, then you can conduct classes with your child at home, such exercises will not cause inconvenience to the neighbors, but you will be busy with physical activity. On the Internet and through children's channels, you can find a whole course of classes for children. You will be a great example for your child.

If you know how to play a musical instrument, then it's time to teach your child this. Perhaps the first sounds of the house will not be melodious, but an example of a beautiful game will arouse interest in the child. The kid will ask to enroll him in a music school.

Board games - great way spend time

At home, you can entertain your child with board games, intellectual development always respected. Using your game as an example, you will teach your child tricks; while playing with peers, this will increase the chance of success.