How newborns are cared for in orphanages. The crumbs from the baby house are washed along with dirty dishes and given chemical drinks.

It has long been no news to many that in modern Russia the family is under constant threat of negatively motivated and destructive intervention by state structures. The lawlessness perpetrated by guardianship and guardianship authorities, allegedly taking care of children, has become the topic of not only individual conversations or publications in the press - conferences are held in defense of the family, at which attempts are made, at least, to clarify the situation. At one of these events, which took place recently in St. new topic: it turns out that families with so-called "special" children, and in this regard, too, have their own special problems.

All this incomprehensible "circus"

One of them is the persistent attempts by doctors immediately after the birth of a child with obvious signs of disability to persuade his parents to abandon him. Here is one of the typical stories of women who have been subjected to such pressure. About what happened to her and her child in the hospital, where they were transferred after the birth, tells Nadezhda Pirogova:

— N.P.: I had a difficult birth. When my son Makar was born, we immediately went to intensive care and spent two weeks there. Makar's main diagnosis: hypoxic-ischemic lesion of the central nervous system. Our attending physician immediately told us that the child is heavy, he will not live long, he may die within a year. She suggested that we take Makar to the Orphanage, they say, there he will be looked after by qualified care. In principle, she did not insist, but she offered us this several times, saying that we were a young family, that we would still have children, and so on. Then Makar was transferred to the department of neurology of newborns and premature babies in another hospital. That's where the whole incomprehensible "circus" began. The head of the department tried to force us to give up the child. Almost every day she called me to her office and told me what, in her opinion, was waiting for me if I did not give up the child. She said that my husband would leave me, that all my relatives and friends would abandon me, that I would be left alone with a sick child. She said this: "You will carry a bag of bones." She also tried to convince my husband, saying that we could not cope with such a child. She good psychologist- Our condition was serious, we did not understand at all what was happening. Experts came to confirm her words. Together with my husband, on the initiative of these doctors, we went to the head of the hospital, who also urged us to abandon the child, promised to find a very good Baby House. We were seen by a neurosurgeon, a well-known specialist in St. Petersburg, we heard the same proposal from him.

What form of refusal was it? Have you been offered to temporarily or permanently abandon the child?
— N.P.: She offered a choice. She said that we can give the child away, but come to take care of him.

- When did the pressure on you end?
— N.P.: As soon as we left the hospital. Leaving the hospital, we wrote a receipt that we were taking the child under our own responsibility, that we understood the severity of his condition, that we did not medical workers that if something happens to the child, we will be held responsible. We were told that we would be checked up to the prosecutor's office. According to them, we cannot provide the child with the necessary medical care, but in the Baby House this care will be provided to him. But the only thing I had to learn was how to use a tube to feed Makar because he can't swallow. And that's it, no more special care is needed for him. And so - he can get sick, catch a cold, like any child. And it is more likely that he would have fallen ill in the Orphanage. Now Makar is two years and nine months old.

This doctor treated all mothers like that, even those whose children did not have such serious problems - just ordinary premature babies. She told these mothers: "Your child is very premature." And as an artist ... (depicts feigned drama in her voice - I. L.). She used her favorite expression “deeply premature” and immediately began to tell what supposedly awaits her mother in the future.

- In your memory, were there cases of abandonment of children?
— N.P.: There was one case of temporary refusal - it was under her pressure.

Wrong mercy

Interestingly, 15 years ago, there were frequent cases when the medical staff of the hospital deliberately concealed the severity of the diagnosis of a newborn, so as not to frighten the parents and not make them want to abandon the child before they had time to get used to it. Today we can see a completely opposite position of doctors. Reasoning like “you will give birth to another, healthy one” could be heard before, but we are talking about systematic attempts to force parents to leave a sick child in the care of the state. Perhaps we are dealing only with common special cases, with some abnormal behavior of individual doctors. But, unfortunately, here, as with the illegal actions of guardianship and guardianship authorities, in relation to, for example, low-income families, there is a danger that this may develop into a trend. The fact that the story of Nadezhda Pirogova and her son is far from the only one of its kind is confirmed by Svetlana Guseva, Chairman of the public association of mothers-carers "Mothers of the World", who herself is the mother of a special child:

- If a woman gives birth to a child with a serious diagnosis, then the battle immediately begins. First of all, they attack a woman and offer to refuse. Usually a heavy child after birth stays in the hospital for a long time, and during this time the mother is under very strong pressure: every day she is convinced that she should send the child to a state institution. I myself am a witness: mothers are called to the office, driven to hysterics, they explain that their children are plants that require constant care, they are frightened by the cost of medicines, doctors, and criminal liability if something happens to the child. By different methods convince, deceive. The deception is that in fact our children can live at home - with good care. Yes, it's very hard for us, yes, we need social workers. But the fact that if the child dies due to natural causes, and the parents will be held responsible for this, is a lie. And doctors drive mothers into a state of shock. And often I see that if mothers succumb to their beliefs, then they refuse forever. Officially, parents are given six months to make a decision and sign documents - and the child at this time is already in the Baby House. A few of those who refused subsequently still take the child home. I know only one such mother - she went to the Baby House for six months, watched her daughter lie in bed, useless, emaciated, shot with psychotropic drugs (so as not to scream) - and decided to pick her up. Now, although this girl is in a serious condition, she has normal weight, she is smiling, lives in a family, with mom and dad. Although when this mother took her daughter away, many said to her: “Why do you suffer so much? Let him lie and look at the ceiling. In fact, it is blasphemy when such children just lie in their beds and stare at the ceiling. It is also called very interestingly - the department of mercy. But how far from mercy!

- Were you also pressured, convincing you to abandon the child?
— S. G.: When my son was given an accurate diagnosis, they immediately told me: “Do you want to pass? Forward!" Very easy. The first position of the doctor in such a situation is to offer the abandonment of the child. When I later went to the maternity hospital to pick up the documents, they were even surprised: “What, is this child at home?” And I often hear this from doctors about other children. Allegedly, such children cannot be at home for health reasons. It seems to me that doctors act as if disabled children are dangerous and cannot be in society.

Why do you think doctors need to ensure that children with severe diagnoses government agencies rather than staying with families?
— S. G.: They have a system and they don't want that system to change. The more difficult children remain in families, the sooner special institutions will stop working. I talked to a masseuse who worked for 20 years at the Baby House. She excitedly told how the medical staff feel good there, how when such institutions are closed, people lose their usual place of work. She said: “Why do such children live at home? Their place is there. It's so wonderful - gave, and live your life, work, give birth to others. So it's corporate interests. This is the support of the system, the foundations of which were laid long ago, and the workers of that system want everything to continue that way. In theory, on the contrary, it is doctors, together with mothers, who should stand up for such children so that these children do not spend their whole lives lying in bed. But while doctors believe that our children are mentally retarded and unpromising. This is a consumer attitude. Such a child is a person with his own destiny, with his own soul. And these “chambers of mercy” are a mockery of the plan of the Lord God. Mercy is when the mother of such a child has state support, and the child himself lives in society on an equal basis with the rest. Why is the overall quality of life higher in Europe? Particularly because there is a high level social security people with disabilities. Caring for such children is the reason for the development of new technical devices, new methods, new medicines. Special people develop society. And we have an erroneous attitude to the problem since ancient times: such children should be in specialized homes, and mothers should work.

- Can they try to put the same pressure on the mother later, when the child is already living at home? Can guardianship and guardianship authorities intervene here and try to take the child to a special institution?
— S. G.: Of course they can. If the doctor from the clinic decides that the mother is somehow not taking care of the child in the right way or that their house is not very clean, he can inform the guardianship authorities. And no one takes into account that the mother has depression, lack of money, personal tragedies. No one will think about it, they will simply take the child away and that's it. I must say one more thing: not so long ago, strange laws were adopted. First, when a disabled person turns 18, his mother becomes a guardian. And the state does not provide support to the guardian. Secondly, now parents must take permission from the guardianship and guardianship authorities to receive a pension for their disabled child. Thirdly, it is necessary to take permission from the same guardianship authorities to withdraw from the child's account the amount spent by the parents on the purchase of technical equipment. This suggests that the disabled child is not yours, but the state, and you are allowed to take care of him. It turns out that the child, as it were, already initially belongs to the institution. That is, a disabled child ceases to be a free citizen with the right to a family. Our bodies of guardianship and guardianship are a purely legal structure that deals with the issuance of documents. From guardianship, as such, there is nothing there.

“Not everyone wants to have a disabled person at home”

The organizers of the conference "Family - the presumption of innocence" tried to invite some doctors to the meeting: the invitations for them were given to the Commissioner for Children's Rights in St. Petersburg, Svetlana Agapitova. However, none of the three of them was present at ITAR-TASS. In fairness, I met with the head of the department of neurology of newborns and premature babies of one of the city's children's hospitals in her office and asked a few questions on a topic of interest to us.

- Do socially arranged women often refuse chronically ill children?
- Sometimes more often, sometimes less often - not every year there are many children with severe neurological problems. But if such children appear, they are rarely taken home. Not everyone wants to have a disabled person at home. Including quite socially arranged women. Refuse, for example, from children with Down syndrome. And children with Down syndrome are the same children as any others, they just need a different approach. I have one such child at the department today - he is even without a heart defect, and they still refused him.

- In any case, can you or your colleagues recommend a woman to abandon a child?
- Never. Moreover, I am a categorical opponent of any failures. The child must live in a family. Even if he is seriously ill, his family must take care of him.

- Often those who advise a woman to abandon a child say to her: "You will give birth to another, healthy one." How would you comment on this?
- And where is the guarantee that the next child will be healthy?

- If they refuse, is it more often temporary or permanent?
- There are very decent people who experience psychological trauma and do not immediately accept the situation. If people have already made the decision to abandon the child, I suggest that they write a refusal for six months. We need to give parents a chance to rethink something. A sick child lives in the Baby House, and his parents live at home. I think that this is wrong, but this is my opinion, I do not impose it on anyone.

- Do parents often take their children from the Baby House after a temporary refusal?
- Rarely taken. But I know a lot of people who, having written a temporary, and then a complete rejection of their child, still participated in his life.

Disabled children and their parents are among the most vulnerable members of our society, which means that not only state structures, but also society itself, that is, ordinary citizens, should pay close attention to them. This material is not a journalistic investigation, but an occasion to reflect on a clearly existing problem. Let the reader decide for himself whose statements deserve more credibility here. It must be said that the very proposal to parents to abandon the child (no matter how intrusive it may be) is not punishable either criminally or administratively, so that the material interest of parents can be safely excluded.

Igor LUNEV

A good friend told me about this branch. Department in the hospital. The children are there. Children-refuseniks, who are taken from numerous baby houses with the onset of the first cold weather. I went. I didn’t know why, I didn’t know what awaited me there. I imagined, of course, because I heard what kind of children were lying there, but I could not know what I would see there ...

... We met with a friend at the metro station "Geroiv Dnipra", got into a minibus. A few minutes, and here we are in front of the children's clinical hospital. We rise to the second floor, and suddenly fear seizes me. It's scary for some reason, I don't want to go there. My friend is a parishioner of one of the charismatic churches in Kyiv, she is a frequent visitor to this hospital.
“We don’t do anything special, we just communicate with these children, we hold them in our arms,” she explains to me the purpose of our visit.

Vaguely somehow ... "We hold on our hands." For what? What is there to hold in your hands? Is it so important?
A friend reads my mind, smiles:
- You do not understand. They have everything. The Americans help a lot, ours.
- What churches?
- Charismatic, what else? - the interlocutor looks uncomprehendingly.

It's clear. Charismatics. Those who are called "sectarians". Those who should be "feared", since no other thoughts are born in their vile sectarian heads, except for thoughts about how to empty the pockets of gullible parishioners. Interestingly, are such “sectarians” also taking care of children, probably out of selfish motives? Well, probably, they want to sell unfortunate children for organs.

I swallow an unasked question about the Orthodox churches whose leader is now somewhere far abroad on another "visit". I understand that “with humility” smiling at the camera is much more important than actually throwing off the gilded clothes and sinking to the sinful earth. And help those whom he called sinless. It is much easier to call those who help these unfortunate children “sectarians” than to cross the threshold of such an institution AT LEAST ONCE.“Things” are serious for the “man of God”, what can I say, well, God be his judge ...

You see, it is, in fact, very important - to take them in your arms. Cuddle. They are deprived of maternal warmth, but any psychologist and pediatrician will tell you how important such warmth is. They are always alone. They are not needed by anyone in the whole world ...

We are changing. On the shoulders - a white robe, on the feet - the change of shoes brought with them. I wash my hands thoroughly. We go along the corridor. Metal-plastic door. Chamber in four rooms. Small stand-alone branch. Metal-plastic windows and doors (gifts from sectarians), cribs, toys (also gifts from sectarians), pretty curtains, good wallpapers (again sectarian intrigues), imported creams and medicines (there were some sectarians here too). We are going…

They are each in their own bed. In one room - four, in the other two - one at a time, in the fourth there is no one.
- Soon there will be a lot of them. The cold will come - and they will start to bring. Colds, p. Soon there will be many ... - my friend states bleakly.

The first thing you stumble over as soon as you cross the threshold of the ward is your gaze. A very close look of the girl lying in the center. She swings steadily from side to side, but as soon as she sees us, she freezes. Smiling. Tongue sticking out, eyes wide open. A girl wearing diapers makes an inarticulate sound, as if laughing or even mocking. She looks about four months old, but the expression on her face is completely unusual for children of this age. I can't stand this look. He is absolutely sane. Bad look. Heavy, boring.

I read the paper attached above the girl’s bed and turn my head in surprise to my companion:
- Is there a typo here?
A friend is reading.
- No, not a typo. There used to be a girl like that here.
I'm shocked. The fact is that a girl with a heavy look - two and a half years. She weighs about five kilograms. Parents are alcoholics with more than a decade of "experience".

On the second bed, clasping his head in his arms and turning over on his stomach, lies a boy. He doesn't even cry, he moans.
- Vodyanka. He's already done two.
The boy's head is huge, with blue veins.

The third is quite, at first glance, a healthy baby. At first I don't understand what's wrong with him. Beautiful, clear eyes, rosy cheeks.
- Down's disease, - my companion explains, and I, peering, notice the characteristic features. They are not very pronounced, not like fourth child who sleeps hoarsely exhaling air.

The fourth one is very small, tiny. The face with a Mongoloid slit of the eyes is puffy, inanimate. The arms are tied to the body.
Why are your hands tied? I ask.
He's trying to scratch his face, his eyes. Here is the nurse and connects.
Indeed, the entire face of the baby is scratched.
- You need to lubricate ... Give me the cream, please.
I take the cream standing right here on the shelf. I submit.
- Well, well, quietly, baby, - a friend cradles a terminally ill baby, gently lubricates his cheeks with cream.

The boy's mother took birth control pills, but came, and he was born the way he was born. Seeing the baby, the parents disowned him.

I go into the next room, from which I hear a faint cry. There is a boy on the bed, and as soon as I look at him, I understand why he was abandoned. Around the eye birthmark Red. This is how a puppy with a defect was rejected. Didn't like the coloring. The boy is very sick. The air whistles out of his lungs, his face is tormented…

In the fourth room is a boy whose "defect" is invisible at first glance. Lying, wheezing, crying. All children, if they do not sleep, then cry. It becomes unbearably hard for me.

My friend picks up little patients and talks to them. Children, once in their arms, calm down. They move their heads, not focusing their eyes, mumble something weakly.
“Help me, please,” my companion asks.
I shake my head
- Not no…

I can't take the baby in my arms. For some reason I'm afraid to even touch it. A five-kilogram girl with a strange expression on her face bores me with her eyes, laughs.
- Listen, did you see her look? Don't you think she's very strange? I ask quietly.
The girl looks me in the eyes with complete understanding. Not on the chin, not on the hands, but right in the eyes. Laughs hoarsely.

My friend nods.
- Of course I saw it.
She leans towards the girl, smiles at her. She doesn't take her eyes off me. Shows small, uneven teeth in a grin.
- I saw such a look in the movie "The Exorcist".
My companion looks at me attentively, nods:
- In it sits the one you said about. But it's not her fault...
As if in a fog, I look around.

The baby with dropsy groans softly, clasping his big head with his hands. The tiny doomed with Down's disease shudders, tries to move, but his hands are tied, and he just cries bitterly, staring at one point. It becomes unbearably hard for me, and I leave the ward ...

…- It's nothing. This is fine. It's hard the first time. I couldn't stand even twenty minutes when I first came here. Nothing ... - my friend reassures me.

We walk along the corridor to the exit from the hospital. It feels like a roller has gone through the brain. No thoughts, no words. Emptiness. Before my eyes are the faces of these children, doomed to a slow extinction. I listen to stories about babies lying here in the spring. Someone was born at seven months, and even in a family not created to have children, someone was born without stopping using, they tried unsuccessfully to get rid of someone, which led to irreversible changes in the fetus ...

And now, when I write these lines, I see the face of a little girl with the gaze of the devil, who was placed in her by those who gave her life. Those who spit it out into this life, as they spit out the lost taste chewing gum. No regret, no thought. I hear the groaning and crying of these little people, not guilty of anything, sinless and holy for what they have to go through. Saints in that they are already passing. And every minute of them is torment, and every day of them is torture. But they are alive.

They live and every minute of their painful life, with their distorted bodies, with their pain, they demonstrate what thoughtlessness leads to. What is the result of human stupidity and bestiality. Irreversibility has long covered these babies, and they are crying softly in the dark, alone in the whole world. Innocent tiny citizens of Ukraine. Deprived of everything, even the future, sinless children of vice. Toddlers with scary meaningful looks that are hard to endure...

Mom is the most important and main word for a little man who has just been born. He still remembers her voice, the beating of her heart, the warmth and bliss that he felt in the womb of his mother. But what to hide, for every woman the birth of a baby is the main way to know what happiness is.

But, unfortunately, not every woman feels the need for motherhood. For some, both the word itself and what stands behind it are alien. There are women who are not touched by small plump cheeks and tiny baby fists. And as a result, newly-made mothers write a refusal from their own children, or even worse - they simply disappear without a trace, leaving their crumbs, helpless and lonely, to the mercy of fate. And what about the fate of children-refuseniks? Nobody is interested in this fact.

So, how do children live in Baby Houses?

The very first home for an abandoned child becomes an ordinary ward in a maternity hospital, where those who are left without a mother are taken and identified. When the baby gets stronger, he will probably be assigned to some hospital. Medical personnel will look after him there.

In such hospital wards, abandoned cubs can live for months and even years. Places in orphanages are often not enough, so simple children's hospitals serve as a kind of shelter for children. In such institutions, educators and nannies are not provided. Therefore, little attention is paid to children, there is not enough time for them, let alone love. There is no one to walk, play, develop with them. There they are on their own. After all, if you did not find a place in your own native family, with mom-dad, with grandparents, then who will need you in a regular hospital? Many children in their entire little life have never even been on the street. In the wards, refuseniks are deprived of full-fledged communication, and this often threatens them with a developmental lag, both psychologically and physically. Even children who are healthy from birth, being rejected by their relatives, can get health problems in the process of further “hospital” care for them. It is very convenient for the attendants when the children are imprisoned in their own beds, do not run, do not scream, do not make noise. Above those who are trying to climb, they pull a special net ...

IN Lately volunteer movement has spread. Volunteers are happy to visit such institutions, bring gifts to the kids, play and walk with them. This is at least some kind of joy for little people, but still this is not enough.

If the child is lucky, he ends up in an orphanage or a Baby House. There begins a completely different, regime, life. But even there, every child is for himself. In orphanages, there is a strict daily routine: getting up at 7 in the morning, exercising, having breakfast, and so on. 6-7 people in each ward, depending on the conditions orphanage. The whole life of the child is subject to control and regime. Some will say it's useful. But for any kid, this is, first of all, wild stress.

The food in orphanages is not always tasty, and various delicacies are available only on holidays, and even then, if you're lucky. And there is no need to talk about the deficiency of vitamins and nutrients ... Therefore, children constantly experience a feeling of hunger. This feeling can negatively affect their psyche, for example, provoke theft. Steal - to eat.

In addition to all this, the boundaries of personal space are violated in children. Refuseniks are always in plain sight, with

outsiders take a shower, go to the toilet, change clothes ... And gradually the child ceases to feel a sense of shame and embarrassment.

There are a lot of kids in the Baby Houses. Not all of them are refusers. There are also those whose parents were deprived of their rights for failure to fulfill their duties to them or for other reasons. But no matter what the child lives there, they all dream of only one thing - to have their own family, their own home, mom and dad, live in their own room with their personal belongings, spend free time with loving parents, visit kind grandparents, be happy.

Every child should have a mother. After all, it is mothers who are responsible for how the next generation will grow up, what future awaits our whole country and our whole world.

How do newborn refuseniks live in a baby house?

If it reassures you, then more often newborns are taken directly from the hospital. The adoption procedure may not be completed yet, but guardianship authorities often allow you to pick up a newborn before the papers are ready.

I asked myself the same question after my son was born. How so? No one will give them their warmth, hugs, kiss? Compared with the carefree childhood of my son, abandoned children seem incredibly close - miserable and useless ...

But unfortunately, in order for the baby to be unnecessary, it is not necessary to give him to an orphanage. Let me tell you a story that shocked me to the core. My son was then 5 months old and we were admitted to the hospital with a diagnosis of obstructive bronchitis. There was another mother with a baby in the ward with us. Our children were born on the same day - a funny coincidence. Only now the mother girl herself was still a child, she was only 17, and instead of dealing with a child, she either sat on VKontakte, or chatted on the phone, or did manicures / pedicures. So you know, the boy seemed to understand that this cuckoo did not need him. He didn't cry. Only squeaks softly, she will shout at him. Once again she will squeak - she will look at her watch - ah, you need to be fed! Go for a mixture of reconnaissance.

This is the first mother in my life who deliberately did not even try to breastfeed her baby, worrying about her shape. For me, who fought for GW with all my might, it was just blasphemy…

She put her baby to sleep, covering her head with a blanket. Considering that it is very hot in the ward, my son and I covered ourselves with a sheet, and she covered her baby with a wadded blanket with her head - so that she would not wake up crying at night! My heart was just breaking ... She won’t kiss, she won’t hug, she won’t even take her baby in her arms ... I just wanted to tell her - if you don’t need it, then give it to those who will not have a soul in nm! Doesn't he deserve at least a modicum of attention?

Almost 2 years have passed since then, and I still can’t forget this baby and his quiet, quiet crying, as if he understood everything and was afraid to wake his worthless mother ...

After giving birth, I had to lie down with my newborn daughter in the neonatal department of the hospital. Some time there are also abandoned kids. Right from the maternity hospital, a baby migrated with me, who gave birth to 13 summer girl Gypsy. The child was born at 36 weeks and the girl had a congenital clubfoot due to oligohydramnios in a young mother. The mother-in-law persuaded the girl to run away from the hospital. They were talking about something in their own language and the mother ran away, leaving a cup of hot tea on the table.

Of course, there was no one to look after the child, permanent diaper rash formed on the skin. The mothers who were with him in the ward looked after the child, that is, I and another mother after a cesarean with a girl born at 29 weeks. It was necessary to change the diaper and hold the bottle, but we have our own. The child was not immediately transferred to the Baby House, because she had to be treated first. As far as I know, the aunt of the woman in labor nevertheless took the child at 7 months.

I don’t know how it is in Russia, I’ll tell you about Ukraine - we have a queue for such children, and when the baby is abandoned, then the mother has two months to change her mind. At this time, the baby is in the children's department of the hospital. If the mother has not changed her mind, then potential adoptive parents are offered to come to the hospital to take care of the baby. All this is done under the supervision of medical staff. And a woman who is ready to become a mother will replace a completely biological mother - in 1-2 visits she will learn to feed, bathe, remove diaper rash, drive the medical staff. The doctor sees that MOM has come and the baby has found a family. They can even give him under guardianship - this is done very quickly, and the baby is waiting for a court decision already in his own family.

Now, about sick children - you know how scary it is when there is silence in the orphanage in the department where babies are 6-10 months old. There is no sniffling, their gurgling... They give a sound when something hurts. It’s just that with all this uniformity, the kids are accustomed to the fact that once every 4 hours he will eat, at the same time they buy him ... And the nannies take them in their arms, and talk, and love. But in their life, the nanny is the center of the universe, the most expected person, and in normal families such a center is the baby himself, around whom the whole world is spinning. So it's really very creepy to see such high-pitched, not interested in anything at the wrong time and silent kids.