Why did the girl suddenly stop talking? How to date a shy girl What to do if the girl is not sociable.
25.03.2015
At work, I like an unsociable girl. Is it worth starting a relationship and how to get around gossips?
Sergey's question
Got a new job.
The female half of the team immediately became interested in my marital status and hinted that there was an option just for me, if I was free.
The option turned out to be a girl from the accounting department, about 30 years old. Pretty, slender, but wildly clamped. By his appearance, he apparently has a complex. Although her only feature is wide cheekbones, very beautiful. But she seems to have a different opinion. Intersecting with men in the corridors, she immediately cringes and turns to the wall, trying to slip past unnoticed and pretending that she did not meet anyone. Greeting her, she, with her eyes downcast, will mutter a greeting in response, being in full face to the speaker. Behaves with men unsociable and dejectedly. In fact, she is talkative with her female colleagues, I saw this at general celebrations, but with men, a complete failure. Even if a person becomes interested in her, it is simply impossible to approach her, conversations are no more than one word of greeting, and immediately runs away into her female environment.
Tell me, is it treated or is the prognosis unfavorable?
And one more thing - I don’t want to involve someone in these matters, then the entire female audience will watch a series about our relationship.
And to be honest, I don’t really want to get into such a jungle of complexes either ... Under this, something else will be revealed .. Although, I repeat, I like the girl.
It is interesting in general how much a person buries himself alive and is afraid of everything. On what stove will fate find her, even if she is unsociable at work?
Hello, this is Lesha Doc and in this article I will answer the question of a guy who sounds like this: closed girl»
favorite girl right now, That
Click: Get a girlfriend
I will answer you personally.
My personal mail: [email protected]
(everything is free)
Here is his letter that he sent me:
Hi Lesha. Told my friends about your site. I will be brief.
Target: harmonious relationship, so that everyone is happy.
Problem: Loss of desire to communicate with a girl and, as a result, my growing indifference. We live in different cities (3 hours), I wanted to transfer to her university, but it didn’t work out this year.
I am 23, a student, I live in a hostel, I would describe myself as closed, not very talkative, I often want to be alone, rude, straightforward, inattentive. She is 19, student lives in a hostel, looks good, also closed, not talkative, an excellent student, shy (but not in sex), was a virgin before me. We've been dating for 10 months. Every weekend I come to her (or she to me) for 1-2 days, more often for 2. In the summer, we lived together for a month and a half + a trip to the sea.
My Relationship Issues:
1. Too much virtual communication, if at the beginning of the relationship it didn’t really bother me, then for the last 6 months, I’m pretty tired of it. I gradually reduce it, but still for me there is a lot of it, as a result, I began to devote less time to myself and my hobbies. Tried talking to her on the phone, but due to the peculiarities of her character, the conversation lasts 5-10 minutes, until the topics dry up, then there is silence and when you try to end the conversation from her resentment.2. Endless resentment from her for everything that is possible and for any reason, frequent accusations of "callingness", inattention, indifference, selfishness, narcissism. It's all very boring.
3. Her mother, with whom she rarely rereads, as well as stupid advice from her mother, which indirectly affects our relationship. Here I myself understand that it is unlikely that something can be done. (Mother rules in their complete family)
Her claims
1- Wants more sex. When we lived together, 2 times a day, but that was enough for me for 4 days, then once a day. And when I found a job, then in a day or two.
2-Does not finish with me. I think I've tried everything. Maybe on the strength of a couple of times finished.
3- For her, 20-30 minutes of sex is not enough (this is without foreplay)
4- Wants more tenderness from me, compliments, etc.
5- Quite often he says that I am “not a man”. It never bothered me, but it's a wake up call.
How I see the situation:
In general, she is a good girl, with the right family values, but because the mother rules the family, she opposes patriarchy, although, most likely, I am not alpha enough for her. As a result, she is quite naughty and my word is not decisive for her, and she is not obliged to listen to me.
I also think that she has too much free time and that's why she wants so much attention from me. She has free time due to the fact that she has no hobbies. I tried to solve this problem for the last 5 months: I bought puzzles, drawing kits, interested her in some courses, a gym, etc., but she doesn’t last long. Oh yes, more important point, she has no friends to hang out with (she says she doesn't need to). What if the girl is closed?
So let's take a look at this situation.
And I can immediately say that creating relationships at a distance - this is the wrong way, which always leads to a quick or long, but parting, and if you turn on the logic, it immediately becomes clear why.
As a result, all communication with a girl becomes boring, insipid and stereotyped. And if you have time to correspond only in the evening or the next day, then you yourself will already forget, what happened to you that day or talk about it super concisely.
Secondly, there is no touching with the girl for a long time and the girl automatically, whether you like it or not, begins to move away from you, because she understands that you are now far away and meet you in a week. All this, on the psychological level, strongly affects the development of relations, since there is no development at a distance.
Thirdly, you cannot help the girl in any way, since you do not see what is happening to her and what she is doing. If a girl is offended, then at a distance, you will not be able to somehow calm her down, because you are far away and you can't hug her. Or the girl has heavy things that she needs to move, again, you won’t succeed, and she will ask for another man who will be nearby.
But it's still exacerbated by the fact that the girl is closed and she has inadequate parents who give her inadequate advice and she listens to them. In this situation, you are generally helpless, because at a distance, you cannot control anything and cannot process all the nonsense that her parents just stuffed into her head. And the girl's isolation strengthens her closeness, that is, she does not tell you much and will never tell you because of her character.
So, what should you do if the girl is closed?
In this situation, and even more so at a distance, you can’t do anything, sooner or later the parents will find our girlfriend a boy who lives nearby (the neighbor’s son), who will satisfy her in everything, including sex. And the girl will forget about you.
If you want to seriously upgrade your masculine qualities and thanks to this, find yourself a girly girl for a serious relationship, then take my updated distance course via Skype (version 3.0).
And you will find a feminine girl in training in any case, since in almost every city I know girls, who are following me(I also have a women's project). As a result, all these girls tell me almost the same thing: “Lesh, if the guy passes the training, then you can give him my number”
In other words, there is already a beautiful and feminine girl in your city, which gladly will have a first date with you because she trusts me. Those. the girl knows that my student will be a pumped-up guy in terms of men, and there are practically no such men now.
Click: Apply for a distance course via Skype (version 3.0)
By the way, if you want your favorite girl right now, That
Click: Get a girlfriend
If you have a question for me, then write, I I will answer you personally. In the topic of girls, I have been giving advice for 9 years, the experience is huge. (all confidential). Copy from here to yourself my mail below and write.
My personal mail: [email protected]
(everything is free)
What the guys say about the articles:
“Lesha, from the moment I started reading your articles, I have changed my life a lot. If you apply your advice, then not only relationships with girls change, but in general the whole life. Now I live like a MAN, and the girls feel it))”
Egor, Moscow
“Thank you so much, Lesha!!! The advice from your articles is useful, they change their own psychology and attitude towards the world and towards girls. Now everything in my life has changed dramatically. Thankful to you!"
Maxim, Ukraine
“Alex, thank you so much for what you do. You help people find each other, while breaking all the stereotypes of the behavior of guys with girls. After your advice, it becomes easier to communicate with girls and live in general. It turns out that everything is simple!)
If sociable - will write the first and will not see any subdex in this. Otherwise, the girls are sure that this is not very good and supposedly you need to always show pride and inaccessibility. But in vain ... Probably so many chances passed by :)
You know, yes, they don’t suit me like that, I also hate it when they reproach me for my silence. Excessive chatter also destroys sympathy, so I can't stand chatter.
They are always hanging out somewhere, you can pull out such figs on a date.
Be kind, love life and the whole world is insubstantial. Don't do nasty things, don't say stupid things. Get out of your comfort zone and start talking to strangers. Gradually it will become easier and easier. And appreciate real, sincere and decent people. And be friends with them. Inner beauty also enhances the outer. Love for the world is reflected in the attitude towards oneself. You begin to love yourself, work on yourself positively, create and take care of yourself.
If you go through the negative, through the fear of undesirable consequences, then the person stops doing something as soon as the undesirable consequences become less acute. She followed herself, a guy appeared - she stopped. He swore, quit smoking, turned away a little - lit a cigarette. This is all forced, a person does not really change, he only adapts to the conditions. And he himself experiences inconvenience and lies to others.
You can go through willpower. But this big stress and not everyone has it, this willpower)
Creative tension, creative realization of oneself and harmony with the world is the best way.
You have grown wiser
be my wife?
u menja bila podruzhka, italja. inogda lubila menja shlopnutj po zadnice, pri tom 4to u nee muzhik estj. karo4e govorja oni prosto obshiteljnije i poproshe. ne nadumivaj sebe ni4ego
Well, different girls There is
there are those who cannot be shut up, but there are those who will not even say a word
Now some dude will probably come running in the commentary and express his damn important opinion, like there can be no friendship between men and women. In fact, it might well be. This is not a friend zone when she uses the other, but quite a friendship for herself: one will help out the other, listen, give money when necessary. The main condition for this: the girl should not stand. However, .
Personally, I have a couple of female friends with whom I can talk about general topics and just have a good time. I don't have them. It's not that they are ugly, a few of them are quite good, it's that for me they do not fit into the concept of a "female being" at all. I don't see them as such. In fact, I realized this recently when, in front of me, my friend's wife and at the same time my girlfriend stripped down to her bra to put on a sweater. She wasn't shy about me, and I didn't feel anything when she took off her T-shirt—a body in a bra, nothing more. And then suddenly the realization came: she is a woman, she has boobs. And that's it!
Since you are her man, you must be her first and best friend. Such is life, otherwise you will not last together, kittens! And then you suddenly discover that she has enough male friends. And these are not veterans of the friend zone at all, just dudes with whom she communicates. With some surprise, you find that your girlfriend's number of male friends exceeds the number of girlfriends, this may make you a little wary.
"Friend"
You realize that your girlfriend has a little more than a ton of same-sex friends with you. If there are girls in her environment, then they are somehow not enough. She does not sit in coffee shops with her friends, discussing cosmetics and clothes, she can watch the World Cup with you and her friends in a bar with a beer. And she does it quite often. Why is this happening?
1. Your girlfriend grew up as a tomboy. She climbed trees, knew how to shoot from a slingshot, fought, played Sega, went to the football or martial arts section and communicated mainly with guys since childhood. You immediately understand that the girl had a similar childhood when you realize that she always finds a common language with your friends, actively communicates with them, and does not make eyes left and right.
2. She quarreled with all her girlfriends
3. She has typical male interests. It is not surprising that she has so many male friends if she is seriously involved in sports, extreme sports, Star Wars fanatics or plays or ordinary games. These are the interests that have historically been most close to men, created specifically by men for men.
4. There were a lot more boys in her family. She grew up under the strong influence of her father, who did not have a soul in her and raised a tomboy. She has several older brothers. Their interests were hers, so it's no surprise that she's basically a bro girl.
Why does she need male friends?
What does the female want from communication with these dudes? What do they have in common? Keep it cool man, girls want a boyfriend for two reasons.
She can ask them for advice
Even the boys do not fully understand the nature of men, so they need an outside opinion. At the beginning of a relationship, a girl may ask her friends if you are the right person in order to get a normal male point of view. If a guy is not interested in her, he will give a really worthwhile answer that will outdo any advice from his girlfriends, because he will be really impartial. For this, girls need boyfriends, we give quality advice! It's probably because guys are cooler than chicks.
They have similar interests
Films with Al Pacino, paintball, anime, archery, sports. In any stupidest hobby, there is always a like-minded person with whom you can discuss creativity, and how to pump bitsukha correctly. Personally, I constantly see female athletes in the gym discussing new exercise methods and achievements in the supplement industry with dudes. Nothing surprising, count up, even no one wants to fuck anyone! They just talk.
Urgent measures
If you are not satisfied with the huge number of dudes hanging around your lady, remember one fact: the likelihood that she will stop communicating with them at your first request is extremely small.
Get more information to understand who all these people are. Ask her how they met, how long they've been friends, and what connects them. Make friends with them to get more new friends and understand that they are not going to take it away from you.
Let them know that you are a dude of the same circle as her, because if you ever offend your girlfriend with something or (pah-pah) hit her, you may well be on the lookout in a dark alley and poured in on the first number.
Try to figure out which of these guys might have been her love interest in the past or even managed to get to her body. This will give you a huge tactical advantage and help you understand where to expect trouble.
Spy get out
There are dudes who, with their whole appearance, are trying to show that they are "just friends." They can be veterans of the friend zone, lovers and an amazing type of people who love to destroy alliances. These guys are probing the ground under your feet, waiting, and then they may try to recapture your “prey”. It is unpleasant to realize that under certain circumstances it can get to the body of your passion. How to define a threat?
1. He constantly invites her to concerts, to the theater or invites her to do something together that she loves.
It's like you don't exist. He buys at last moment two tickets and invites ONLY her to go somewhere she likes. And he does it so often that it seems like HE is caring for her, not you.
2. He takes her to expensive restaurants or cooks elaborate meals for her.
Usually, a refrigerator is quite suitable for a girl friend, in which she can find everything she likes, heat it up and eat it on her own. But then she is met by a three-course dinner, a cake and excellent wine from some kosher year. Oh you little bastard!
3. He often calls her somewhere together
Without you, without a group of friends, just her and him. It looks like a date!
4. He gossips about you
Gossip is a thing unworthy of a man. But this bitch says the meanest things about you. Sometimes in the spirit: “Marinochka, and Vanya said that you have gained a lot of weight in Lately!" If you realize that this dude is definitely slandering you, you need to do something.
Who is this?
You know that her friends are Roma, Dima, Kolya and this long-haired horseradish, but then suddenly you find out that she had dinner with a new acquaintance Petya, whom you found out about right now.
You have the right to be suspicious, because, to be honest, men are not very interested in female friends, we are more interested in women, and we have friends. Here, you must admit, when you meet a beautiful interesting girl with similar interests, you are much more interested in her becoming your girlfriend or mistress, and not a friend. Girls do the same: when they meet an interesting guy, they consider him as a guy, and they see him as a friend only when he is not attracted to him. It's an axiom!
Once you figure out this fucking nasty thing, you have to find out when they became friends and why they became friends. Make sure you can see him, if he has a girlfriend, and make sure that the above signs in their relationship with your girlfriend are absent. But most importantly: make sure he knows about you.
Like it or not, you can't stop a girl from making new friends. But if you really want...
1. A good example. Ask her how she will feel if some Katya appears in your life, with whom you will go to theaters and exhibitions together, and then sit nicely in a coffee shop with an eclair. If she tells you that she will not care, know that either you are not dear to her, or she is lying, or she is windy. Girls are much more worried about this alignment, because they do not understand why girl friends are needed: people in a couple can do the same thing without outside help that guys do with girl friends. Think about this double standard.
2. Honesty is cool. Tell her that it's not cool for you to see some new dude hanging around her, tell her that you're not happy with the situation. Just remember that girls, like animals, are more interested in the tone of speech than in its content: the more accusatory your speech is, the more likely it is that this “just friend” will become more attractive to her than you are a tyrant and accuser .
3. Tell her that you want to meet him. It's like killing two birds with one stone (even three!). You are interested in her friends, you show this bitch who's daddy in the house, and you look at the reaction of the girl. If she starts to play up, you know what to do!
4. Delimit. If a person is more interested in another person than in you, this is always shown by a change in behavior. Only a complete chump will not notice this. She has become more secretive, they call her at night and you even know who. Tell her about it. Separate yourself from "friend" and expect that she can confess everything to you. It's an extremely painful procedure, man, to realize that this guy is not just a guy, and she did not immediately admit it to you like a normal person, but she will make you better, more experienced and wiser.
Either way, friends are always a problem. Regardless of gender. If they accept you, everything will be fine. If you don't accept it, everything will be bad. How more serious relationship, the greater the priority towards amorous affairs, and not friendship. Especially in women. Friends fade into the background, and then they can disappear from our lives altogether. Here is such a crap.
Building romantic relationships always inspires, charges with optimism and faith in a brighter future. During this period, men want to perform feats, to be as useful and enterprising as possible. They strive to surprise the girls as much as possible, do not let them get bored.
But sometimes things change. Many young people are faced with a common situation when a girl abruptly stopped communicating. Such behavior in some cases is perceived as the termination of all relationships. In fact, this assumption is not always true. Before sounding the alarm, you need to thoroughly understand the situation.
Causes
Why does a girl so suddenly decide to end communication? Usually there are reasons for this. In fact, visible reasons are needed for communication between two people to stop. Of course, it is very unpleasant to realize that there is little communication with the person who is of interest. Consider the most common reasons why girls stop talking to guys.
Various flavors
When people have opposite ideas about life, it becomes incredibly difficult for them to understand each other. Sometimes it feels like you're talking to a stranger. Different tastes often give rise to open conflicts in which there can be no winners. To create a lasting union, it is necessary that two people look in the same direction, have common judgments and ideas about life. Otherwise, the struggle will begin. Constant quarrels incredibly exhaust partners, do not allow them to enjoy each other's company.
Real employment
In some cases, a girl will begin to communicate less with a guy than before, due to her workload or study. If a young man knows that his sweet girlfriend has a session or a quarterly report, do not be offended. No need to demand increased attention to yourself, so you can only cause genuine irritation on her part. If her employment is real, it means that she really cannot devote enough time for solitary interaction right now.
From young man It takes quite a bit of tact and patience to understand this. When it comes to taking tests and exams, many students forget to eat on time, and not to spend many hours with the person they like. Employment is not forever. We must try to accept it as an inevitability and wait a bit.
Loss of interest
In some cases, the girl suddenly stops communicating with the guy. He texts her tenderly on her cell phone, hoping to get a response. She openly ignores any messages, as if they had absolutely nothing to do with her. When a guy walks past her in the hallway educational institution, the young lady pretends not to notice him. Why is this happening? What's the matter here?
As sad as it is, we have to admit the obvious. The girl is not interested, she does not want to continue communication. Due to certain circumstances, not every representative of the fair sex can say out loud everything that she really thinks. Many are afraid to offend, seem impolite, or simply do not want to tell the truth until a certain moment.
Resentment
This reason is quite serious and often takes place in life. A girl can be offended for any reason: the guy did not fulfill his promise, did not do something, did not live up to expectations. There is a category of people who experience negative emotions for any reason. If a girl is one of them, she becomes extremely difficult to please. It must be remembered that resentment is a powerful weapon for manipulation.
With the help of this tool, many of the fair sex strive to realize their desires. Some succeed because men cannot stand women's tears, pouting lips and generally displeased facial expressions. If a girl stopped communicating because of resentment, you need to find out what exactly upset her so much. Perhaps there is still a way to remedy the situation?
Intention to part
Sometimes it also happens that the girls pull to the last, not announcing the guy about their intention to end all relations with him. Silence of this kind acts as a kind of defensive reaction that does not allow timely detection of an existing problem. The girl continues to pretend to be an inaccessible person, and the young man is lost in conjecture, not knowing what can actually be done. We must think not about why the girl does not want to see me, but to face the truth. Sometimes it can be very painful to do this due to lack of experience in such situations.
What to do
In solving any problem, specific steps are required. If nothing is done, the situation will never be resolved. Very often, a guy is afraid to find out the truth, because he does not want to be disappointed. It must be remembered that it is better not to deceive yourself. The illusion will have to be parted with sooner or later. What can be done if the girl is actually not behaving very nicely? Let's try to figure it out.
Intimate talk
This is the first thing to do when things start to get out of hand. The conversation is needed in order to clarify the alarming moment. In some cases, it really helps to immerse yourself in the problem for a while, to find a painful point in order to try to solve difficulties in interaction. It is best to directly ask the girl what she does not like in communication. So there is a chance to save the relationship, to give them the opportunity to develop further. A moment of confidential conversation allows you to talk frankly about simple and complex things.
Care and attention
Girls love it when they show genuine interest. If a young man is so busy that he does not have time to take a walk with his chosen one, once again does not give a bouquet of flowers, does not take him to a movie or cafe, then is it any wonder that a dear friend is offended? No one wants to feel forgotten and unwanted. Girls in such cases begin to suffer. They just need care and attention. The more a young man tries for his chosen one, the more he wins her.
Bug fix
If during the conversation it turns out that the guy offended the girl with something, you must definitely try to make amends. There are a great many ways for this purpose. Correcting the mistake will help restore trust within the couple, and will certainly reduce emotional stress. Only for this it is necessary to know what is the reason for the girl's discontent.
Thus, if a dear friend has stopped responding to signs of attention, this is not a reason to despair. It is necessary to carefully review the relationship and, of course, analyze your own actions. It should be noted that in some cases the fair sex refuses to interact with young people for no apparent reason. They simply do not want to explain themselves and therefore ignore all attempts at rapprochement. That's why you always need to understand if it's worth fighting. And when it is really necessary, it is necessary to act decisively and persistently.
