The wife is irresponsible. Types of men with whom you should not enter into a serious relationship

Today, more and more often there is a problem when men do not work, do not provide for their women, or, simply put, do not show themselves as the stronger sex.

The scariest thing is that this problem manifests itself all over the world. So what's the deal? So, you should definitely read this article if:

• Despite the long time that you are together, he still does not propose;
• Your man has been unemployed for a long time and is not even going to look for a job;
• He always presses on pity, and you yourself solve various problems.

Where can I find the reason, or why is this happening?

You may not believe it, but it is the representatives of the fair sex who are to blame for this. The fact is that by nature women are stronger than men. And what kind of man is next to a woman shows what kind of influence she has on him.

No wonder they say that behind strong man stands a strong woman.

If the man next to you has lost his job and even the desire to work, if he gradually turns into a loser who does not care and is not interested in anything, then it's time to reconsider your attitude towards yourself.

What nuances in relationships adversely affect men?

• On an energetic level, a woman “eats” a man when she gives him money.. In this case, the outcome may not be good. Two outcomes are possible:
  • Or your man will turn into an avenger who will always be a disgruntled brute and will humiliate you in all sorts of ways.
  • Or he will turn into a child who needs to be supported and delighted with toys.

Hence the conclusion: don't give money to a man. It doesn't matter if it's a husband, father or brother. This will not help him. A man must earn, look for a way, an opportunity. It is in this case that he will become responsible for his actions and for you.

Remember that giving a man money, you begin to show aggression, claims against him appear. And all this accumulates and soon leads to a break in relations.

• The second reason - when a woman cannot accept a gift or some kind of material benefit from a man. When a woman, instead of happily accepting a gift and thereby revealing great opportunities for a man’s success and aspirations, she begins to talk about the fact that the thing is expensive, that it was not worth spending money, and all that sort of thing. You may not believe it, but because of this, a man loses the desire to strive for something more, to give you something more worthwhile and to please you. The fact is that when a man pleases his woman, it raises him in his own eyes. So if you do not know how to accept gifts, work on yourself.

But there is another extreme here: when everything is small and small for a woman. This has nothing to do with what we talked about above. The insatiability of a woman very quickly devastates a man.

• The next reason for the infantilism of a man is a pity. Pitying the man, the woman humiliates him, shows that he is weak, which subsequently leads to the fact that the man ceases to believe in himself. And here there is one pattern: the stronger the pity, the weaker the man. Remember, no man likes it when a woman takes pity on him. And if he likes it and he complains about life all the time, looking for a shoulder to cry on, then this sure sign that he became infantile.

How to find a balance?

At first glance, it is very difficult to refuse a man who asks you for money. However, it is necessary to realize that if you give him money all the time and “help out”, then when he gets out of the hole and gets on his feet, if, of course, he gets up, he will leave you.

Why? But because he will find the one who did not see him so miserable, weak, to the one who did not humiliate him by giving money. So you need to properly assess the situation. And when he wants money from you, it is better to refuse him, saying that you believe and respect him too much to give money.

It is important to remember that respect is not the last thing in a relationship. And if you start to take responsibility, then the man goes to the side. If a woman becomes a vest where a man can cry, then from the stronger sex he turns into something infantile, weak. And no woman can respect such a man.

So first of all ask yourself a question. Why do I have such a relationship? Maybe you have turned from a wife, from a partner, from a woman into a mother, a savior, a vest? Are you satisfied with this role? Be honest with yourself.

Remember, a man and a woman should complement each other. But you shouldn't cross the line. It did not bring happiness to anyone, and it cannot bring happiness. Stay in your role, be a woman who should be courted by a man.

A man with whom it is impossible to build normal happy family , betrays itself in the first months of dating, if you look closely. Having found in the chosen one clear signs of one of the following 9 types of men, you should not hope that he will change and trust his self-promotion and promises. This man is not just “not perfect” or has “flaws”, but is generally not capable of normal relationships. With him, only disappointment and pain awaits ... Do you need it?

What should alert a man

1. Signs of a windy romantic or swindler

You didn’t have time to get to know each other, but he already confesses his love and makes an offer? Romantic! But think for yourself: a person who understands what family and responsibility are, or that relationships are deep intimacy, will propose to a practically unknown girl under the influence of sudden charm? Such frivolity is rather characteristic of an immature, infantile man. This is also how scammers behave, hoping to “swindle” you as soon as possible, which is also not easier.

Even if he does not turn out to be a marriage swindler, all the same, at the slightest difficulty, he will just as easily give up his intentions, and in general he hardly imagines what serious relationship, twisted in . He is not ready to deal with difficulties. Such men usually easily make many promises and take on many obligations, trying to impress and assure of their reliability.

But really reliable people very rarely make promises, carefully weighing first whether they can really keep them. And often they do not promise, but they do.

2. Signs of an alcoholic (aka gamer or other drug addict)

It's not that he will miss a bottle of beer after work or sometimes play a "shooter", although this should alert, but about dependencies with all the consequences. People with a certain psychological type (dependent personality disorder) have a tendency to drug addiction, with which it is unrealistic to build a normal family. Even if such a person does not use, he prefers to get away from problems instead of solving them, and is also fundamentally not responsible for his actions.

During the candy-bouquet period, you may not know that he likes to drink or hangs in games for days. How to determine such a tendency? Listen to how and what he says. Such a man often talks about himself in the passive voice or uses impersonal turns of speech, such as: “It so happened”, “I was brought”, “I was forced”, “I was not lucky” - that is, he always finds the cause of what happens to him and what he does, not in himself, but in something or someone else. This is a future (or already real) alcoholic or, at least, an infantile person who will have to babysit.

Even if at the same time he extols, singing her "divine" qualities, supposedly inaccessible to a man, he still does not recognize her as a person, categorically refusing her "male" compensation. This will manifest itself more clearly as soon as he considers that some woman does not reach the standards of the “goddess” - she immediately becomes a “goat”, unworthy of a human relationship.

A man who despises women in principle, considers them “second class” and is able to be rude to them, will eventually treat you the same way, no matter how much he assured at first that you are “special” and not like those “goats”. Naturally, you can immediately say goodbye to a man if he let slip about how he hit (pushed, threatened, humiliated - and thus put in place) one of your exes if you don't want to walk around with bruises.

Everything that a man accuses the former of will then be addressed to you!

5. Signs of boor

Ham is a person who is not able to respect others: their interests, opinions, personal space. Such a person always does not respect himself - and this is not cured. Forcing a boor to make an exception for you personally will not work. Worse, rudeness over the course of life will turn into outright rudeness, up to the use of force, especially with children. During courtship, he can be gallant and helpful. But this courtesy is ostentatious, and not born of sincere attention, and in trifles he will still give himself away.

Beware if a man: is late without warning, “forgets” your requests and warnings, does not look after his appearance, stretches his arms and climbs to kiss when you don’t feel like it, laughing overcoming your weak resistance - such a man is often convinced that female "no" is "yes" and act in accordance with this "truth".

But the easiest way to recognize a boor in relationships with other people. If he throws dust in your eyes, then he will not stand on ceremony with others. See how he behaves with taxi drivers, waiters, in line, how he talks with his friends, and especially with those with whom he is in conflict. It is in conflict that boor manifests itself in all its glory! A person who respects himself and others will never cross certain boundaries - he will not insult, humiliate, be rude ... The boor keeps himself within the limits, only while everything is fine and when circumstances force him.

6. Signs of a domestic tyrant

Does a man like to talk about “a woman should”? Speaks: “I need a woman such and such and such and such and you are just the right fit”? It’s too obvious here that such a person is not capable of building relationships - he needs a servant and a cook and someone to command ... Perhaps he will even do what a man “should” do, but he is not interested in either you, as a person, or your feelings and interests. And you won't be interested. Are you ready for this?

It happens that at first the tyrant disguises himself. He emphatically respects your freedom and choice, while avoiding expressing his desires and preferences. This should be a concern. If a person really respects the other, he assumes the same respect for himself in him - and not only asks about your desires, but also voices his own in order to come to a mutual agreement, and will not play around, trying to shift responsibility.

A normal person is not afraid of conflicts of interest, being able to resolve conflicts without going beyond mutual respect. The tyrant, at first, can avoid any conflicts, knowing behind himself that he will not be able to hide his essence at the same time. Instead, he will expect (even demand in the depths of his soul) that those close to him "guess" about his needs, and take offense at the slow-witted, accusing them of inattention and indifference.

He can say: “As you say!”, “Everything is for you”, because he does not believe in the possibility that it is possible to agree on taking into account the interests of both. He has an “either-or” scheme: “win-lose”. Sooner or later, the poles will change - and you will need "everything for him", he will try to "win" at your expense.

7. Signs of an eternal bachelor

Is your chosen one the “soul of the company”? These men are very attractive - they have charm, a sense of humor, etc. They have many friends and many ideas for how to have fun. There is nothing wrong with the fact that a person knows how to relax. It’s bad when he lives only for the sake of entertainment and communication with friends. He is not interested in work, study, career growth ... and family too.

What is he talking about, what is he proud of? If all conversations are built around entertainment, friends and hobbies, he has no business plans, and he has the highest rating for something: “high” is a bad sign. Such a man is very jealous of his "freedom". He may be carried away by you, but he will still keep you at a distance, and you yourself will see that relationships with you in his life take ... - eleventh place. You may be able to marry him, promising that you will not mind his friends and hobbies. But do you need it?

You will have to have fun with him and take in his friends, which can be a lot of fun until the kids come along. Family is not entertainment, it will be boring and hard for him, and he will always strive to run away to friends while you flop around with a child in your arms, solving all the problems yourself. And even if he is at home, he will still find something to have fun with (will hang in in social networks, for example), - and you won’t get through ... Even if such a person doesn’t escape from the “bonds of marriage”, then you will still really be alone with a living husband.

8. Signs of a womanizer

“You are the most beautiful of all the girls I have met!”- such a recognition betrays his passion for "collecting" girls. The womanizer is popular with women, he knows how to beautifully, “professionally” look after, while deep down he has a low opinion of women, and believes that anyone can be seduced. And usually he has "all the women are whores."

He wants wins, not relationships. And after defeating you, he will get bored. And if you hear arguments from the series: “All men are polygamous” and “We change only with the body - and this does not mean anything, the main thing is not with the soul”, then everything is clear with him: he will not miss the chance to “change the body”: ) Unreasonable jealousy can become an unpleasant surprise from such a man - after all, it is natural for a person to judge by himself.

9. Signs of a jealous person

Jealous to know, I think, the easiest way. The trouble is that women are initially flattered by his possessiveness - it seems to them that this is love, that they are so distinguished from others. Although in fact, jealousy speaks of his deep self-doubt. But something else is worse - a jealous man does not trust a woman and does not respect her. He does not consider her capable of choosing and being true to her choice. It is impossible to build a normal relationship without trust, not to mention the fact that a jealous person is simply dangerous.

A jealous man treats a woman as his property, an inanimate object. At first, this manifests itself romantically: “I won’t give you to anyone!”, “You are mine and only mine!”, “I don’t want anyone to stare at your beauty, except for me - wear this skirt only at home.” It can “carefully” fasten the top button on your blouse in front of people ... And when jealousy takes on menacing forms, it is already difficult to get rid of a jealous person.

How not to make a mistake in a man?

Everything turns out somehow hopelessly - there are only moral freaks around ... Normal, worthy men meet at all? - Of course, they meet - and not infrequently! Even some of the above signs may not be a “diagnosis” - it is necessary to take into account the age and family in which the man grew up.

For example, sociability at the age of 16-20 does not necessarily mean that a young man will live for the sake of entertainment - these are just features of age. Deliberate rudeness can be just bravado, a clumsy display of "masculinity", which will also pass. Drinking alcohol and playing games does not necessarily indicate a tendency to alcoholism, but may simply be a tribute to the company - it is not the fact of drinking that is important here, but the personality and the degree of involvement. Let's talk about alcoholism subscribe to updates…

Of course, it is worth looking at his father and his relationship with his mother. There is a chance that a man who grew up without a father will a good husband and father, if his relationship with his mother is good (healthy!) - such boys already know how to build normal relationships with a woman, and having suffered without a dad, they are unlikely to leave their child. But if a boy grew up with an unworthy father, then the probability that he will reproduce his model of family relations and life position is almost 100%, no matter how much he says that he does not understand and condemn his father's behavior.

And vice versa, if his father is a worthy and decent person and his mother is happy with him, then there is hope that some negative signs that you notice in a man will disappear without a trace in the future. But if you find obvious signs of the above types in the chosen one, and especially several at once, then you should not hope for changes!

Many negative signs are interconnected and follow one from the other, that is, they can be combined in one person. Jonah often happens alcoholic. Misogynist or jealous more often - home tyrant. The ideology of the latter type is well stated, for example, in the book. Looking through it, you will unmistakably recognize men with whom it will also not be possible to create a happy family - adherents of this teaching.

However, it is useless to try to understand men and memorize the signs of the unworthy without solving your problems. Who and why do we choose? If your personal life is unsuccessful all the time, you only come across the heroes of this article, and you don’t even believe that there are others, but you hope to heal them with your “love” or just humbly endure, considering this a “female share”, then the problem is with you themselves. But this is fixable - I recommend, for example, to read the book and start sweeping out the "cockroaches" that lead to unhealthy relationships.

If it seems that he deceived you, pretended to be a "prince", and then turned out to be a "monster" - it seems. No one pretends - a person always reveals himself with better side when falling in love. And we all tend to unconsciously demonstrate qualities that are directly opposite to shortcomings. But that's why we turn a blind eye to the "bells", joyfully believing in the initial demonstration and immediately starting to dream of a family and children - a good question. Most often because, and the personality of a man is of little interest.

© Nadezhda Dyachenko

Irresponsibility manifests itself in various areas of life and is formed under the weight of circumstances. A colleague is late for a meeting every time, a child loses books, a pencil case or a wallet, a sister forgot about her parents' anniversary. The surrounding people suffer from a disregard attitude loved one or an employee. Stupid people blame others for troubles, they are similar in behavior to children. How does irresponsibility manifest itself? How to behave with an irresponsible person: demand to take up the mind or regret?

What is irresponsibility?

Stupidity is formed during a person's life. It does not belong to heredity, so stop sorting out relatives if you got a husband-child. Inaction, unwillingness to work on oneself form spitting. This is a clear position of a person who has made such a choice or has been imposed such behavior.

What is irresponsibility in life? This is the inability of a person to restrain the assigned obligations in relation to children, family, colleagues. The behavior of such a person is reduced to letting go of the situation, in the hope that the problems will be resolved without his participation. It turns out that the stupidity of a person leads to evasion of direct duties and turns into unpleasant consequences. At the same time, such a person requires that other people fulfill obligations.

The destructive power of spitting extends to the spheres of life. A person does not participate in important processes, does not make fateful decisions. As a result, the quality of life of a person and those around him deteriorates. Under the stupid behavior are people who want to escape from the harsh reality, incapable of their own laziness.

Cause of irresponsibility

Such qualities characterize the personality of a person, determine the character. Disregard is not a pattern of behavior that is imitated and copied. It is formed as a result of improper parenting. This is the main reason for irresponsibility. Psychologists note that a disregard attitude appears in children, where the main violin was played by the mother. In doing so, the following behaviors were used:

1. mother hen. Does not allow the child to take a step on his own. She knows with whom to be friends, where to go to study, whom to choose as life partners. The stupidity grows like a snowball. As a result, the boy becomes a weak-willed person or. The girl stays old maid or unhappy in marriage because she is unable to make an informed choice.
2. Mother investigator or dictator. Brings up a child in excessive severity. The slightest offense is punished. As a result, the child decides to do nothing in order to avoid being punished with a belt or standing in a corner. Mom controls the child, requires the fulfillment of tasks. Children humble themselves and get used to living and acting according to parental orders.
3. Mom is a supporter. Does not pay attention to the upbringing of the child, without explaining or analyzing actions. This attitude is passed on from generation to generation. The child, seeing the stupidity of the parents, copies and transfers the disregarding behavior to life.

But do not blame all the troubles on the parents. A person is exposed to external circumstances and internal experiences. Based on the results, he concludes that it is better to remain in the shadows than to make difficult decisions. Reasons for neglect include:

1. Lack of awareness. A person does not see the connection between actions and consequences. Performing actions or not straining, he does not see his guilt in what happened. Such people are inattentive and careless.
2. Feeling of fear. Occurs in people who have burned themselves by taking on voluminous obligations. For example, the head of a business that went bankrupt. As a result, disappointment came and a clear belief formed that it was better to be a careless person.
3. A loss . Difficult circumstances, the loss of a loved one, health problems lead to apathy. A person is disappointed, tired of fighting for life, loses interest in others. Decides to go with the flow and doesn't care about anything. Similar sensations arise as a result of the abuse of alcohol or drugs.

The reasons for stupidity do not make such behavior correct and justified. Any person can hide his head in the sand, but not everyone can fight for happiness. Disregard and inaction leads to the degradation of the personality, disorder in life.

The problem of irresponsibility

People who are not responsible for actions are not devoid of intelligence. They fantasize with ideas and have fun with them. But, the fun ends as soon as you face serious problems. A stupid person will shift the decision to another person, and then also accuse him of wrong actions.

The problem of irresponsibility lies in the fact that a person with a disregard for life degrades, does not strive for financial well-being. At the same time, in the circumstances, he blames the state, relatives, fate, but is not ready to answer for life. Stupidity leads to the following consequences:

1. Loneliness and. An irresponsible person hopes for fate, waiting for luck in love. The meeting of the second half involves actions, courtship, decisions, communication, acquaintances.
2. Bad education. The culprit of low-quality education is the state. At the same time, a stupid person is picky in universities. Studying is seen exclusively in elite and expensive educational institutions.
3. Low income. A careless person complains about a job that is not prestigious. Attempts to change professions are not made, because actions are limited by education, which is not there.

These problems are connected living conditions. If you didn’t get the parental apartment, then it’s hard. A stupid person wanders around the corners, continuing to blame other people for an unfinished life.

Irresponsibility of men

The modern generation lives for its own sake, not looking back at other people and not participating in their lives and problems. An irresponsible attitude is transferred not only to strangers, but also to relatives. As a result, callous and soulless personalities are formed, following only their own whims and desires.

If we consider the disregard for life by gender, then the irresponsibility of men is more common. Women are consciously approaching work, family. and selfishness of men. As a result, the woman is left alone, continuing to be responsible for the child. Today, in every third family, a child grows up without a father, who at the same time does not help financially and does not participate in the life of a son or daughter.

The situation is due to the irresponsible attitude of men. Such people postpone things for later or do not start tasks at all. But, the child cannot stop in development and wait until dad grows up, begins to be interested in his life, and bear financial responsibility.

First of all, determine where irresponsibility has come from in your life. What influenced its formation? Parenting, health problems. Next, realize. This is the acceptance of assigned obligations, an analysis of the actions performed. Next, form a new quality in yourself.

How to deal with irresponsibility?

Deciding to fight irresponsibility is the first step on the road to adulthood. To achieve the result, purchase developing literature. Read books on psychology, read books on motivation, take an interest in literature on social maturation. The result will not keep you waiting long. Through time, . Notice that the people around you are respectful, listen to advice.

Irresponsible man

Irresponsible man. People who live healthy and fulfilling lives are attractive to others. Marriage is not a means to improve life. And you are unlikely to want to become, for example, the eternal savior of your companion. Why do you need such a scenario?

She complained that irresponsible men were poisoning women's lives. But in my opinion, the reason was Trisha herself - it was her behavior that attracted irresponsible partners to her.

It usually went like this: Trisha met a young man, she liked him, and she went on a date with him. Trisha was beautiful - no wonder the guy immediately lost his head. I must say, Trisha's opinion of herself was completely determined by the attitude of men towards her. If they ran after her, if they sought her out, she felt at her best. The attention and admiration of men gave her strength to live. Having received a dose of adoration from another fan and realizing that she was desirable, Trisha immediately took his attitude towards herself as true love. She did not realize how unfounded and hasty her conclusions were. She instantly approached the chosen one, crossing all conceivable boundaries. In the depths of her soul, Trisha felt that she was falling in love too quickly, but the intensity of passions and a feeling of complete happiness clouded her mind.

This went on for several months. Then the picture changed. The guy slowly moved away, called not so often, and justified his inattention by being busy and other excuses. Trisha was sad - she felt abandoned and unnecessary. At first she sulked, and then proceeded to a decisive showdown. Trisha's friend regarded her actions as an attempt to control his life, and in response, indignantly lashed out at her. Trisha, afraid of losing her boyfriend, retreated. There was nothing more for her to do. She suffered.

Soon the denouement came: the guy left completely, telling the unfortunate girlfriend that she was a great girl, but he really did not love her. How many times has Trisha heard those words! As a result, she came to the conclusion that men simply do not want to take any responsibility.

I saw this unhealthy pattern of behavior clearly. Also, I knew it was easy to change. My task was to convey to Trisha the idea that the failures that haunt her in her personal life are not accidental. I needed her to understand: her tragedies are not evil fate, which plays a helpless and powerless girl. No, she herself directs each of her tragedies, and plays the main role in it. If Trisha could become aware of her tendency to conform to a man, to cling to him with all her might, she would be able to build boundaries in a relationship. Then Trisha would stop smothering her partners with her attitude.

Trisha longed to merge with a person who had weak boundaries. Naturally, she attracted men without borders like a magnet. They behaved accordingly: at first they were a strong hero, and then they moved away in order to get rid of the control and suppression from the woman. If Trisha had followed a sober and meaningful line of behavior, then the result would have been different. Moreover, men of a different plan would begin to show interest in her. If a person has built the boundaries of personal space, people are drawn to him, who also have everything in order with the boundaries.

I can't explain how attraction is born between two people seeing each other for the first time.