Conversation with the gopnik. Who are the "gopniks" and how to deal with them Ways to avoid danger

(Based on the materials of the course “Psycho suppression.
The Art of Winning Tough Negotiations

Many of our actions are performed according to an integral scenario, and as a result of repeated repetitions, they become automatic: shaking hands, lighting a cigarette, getting up from a chair, etc.

When an action has passed into the category of automatic, a person is aware only of its beginning and end (for getting up from a chair: you are aware of yourself either sitting or standing; you do not have to control the tension of the muscles of the body that provide the action itself).

There are similar patterns in thinking: when a stimulus is presented to a person, you expect to receive a certain reaction in advance (for example, when you compliment a woman, you expect her to say: “Thank you”).

At the same time, at the moment of breaking the template action (that is, the action that a person perceives as continuous), the subject falls into confusion, very close to a hypnotic trance state, and takes any command literally. It is used both for treatment and for scaring away.

The main thing when breaking a pattern is not to do what is expected of you. When a gopnik sticks to your child on the street, then he has a certain “scenario” in advance - a mental template for future behavior for himself and for a potential “victim”.

At the same time, the gopnik calculated in advance how to behave if the “victim” refuses to let him smoke (“What, bitch, is it a pity ?!”). There is a template in case there is a smoke (“What are you, a bastard, giving raw?!”). Even for the most unexpected, it would seem, case - and that is a template (“Who did you send?”). Therefore, it is necessary to break all patterns of communication.

Always the driving force of offenders is the fear of their victim. This can be based on teaching the child psychological protection. An opponent equal in strength of spirit (namely spirit) can become either a friend or an enemy, but he will not be hunted down.

How to answer questions like: “Hey, come here!”. If they shout “Come here!”, you need to stop waiting. Do not answer "You yourself come here!". Have your child stand and wait for someone to approach him. They come up, they say "What's deaf?" or in this type (frostbitten, swollen). He replied: "Is there anything I can do to help?"

We are not fools. Or the situation started differently. They come up and shake hands. You should not shake hands, because a normal kid will not shake hands with the first person he meets (in prison, whose laws are sacred for gopniks, they generally don’t shake hands).

Instead, ask: "Who are you?" - there is always a right to it. Gopnik says: "I'm local here" or something else. Answer: "I don't know you." This is followed by “What do you want to say hello to the bastard?”. The answer is “I don’t know you, maybe you’re not a kid at all. Who knows you ”(here the main thing should be a hint). But you need to hint in such a way that the gopnik did not have the opportunity to blame your child for something. Instead, the gopnik must understand that his interlocutor knows the rules of the game.

Here the main task is to remain within the framework of ITS rules, to break off the gopnik with his own methods - you should not appeal to universal morality and quote the Constitution. This is the trump card of the gopniks, that they impose their rules on the victims and force them to play according to them on their own field. So you should seriously play the proposed game.

Arrival at the bazaar. If your son obviously did not come to beat, then the second part follows - “collision with a bazaar”. In any case, if he is not yet lying on the pavement, and people are talking to him, then everything is in order.

1. Gop: There are little things

Your child: Yes

Gop: Give

Your child: No

Gop: Is it a pity or are you a rat?

Your child: No to distribute or Himself a little

2. Gop: Is there a device, well, is there a carochi?

Your child: Yes

Hop: Let me see

Your child: No, go to the store and look or Phone as a phone, what to look at

3. Gop: Do you have a mobile phone?

Your child: Yes, but what do you not have?

Gop: No.

Your child: And if I find it?!

4. Gop: Hey, why are you talking like that?

Your child: As I enjoy it, I talk.

5. Gop: Who are you in life?

Your child: Boy.

Gop: Prove that you are a kid?

Your child: Let's go to the toilet, I'll prove it.

6. Gop: Let's go away.

Your child: I'm not bad here either.

The best defense is an attack. Universal answer - always works:

For what purpose are you interested?

It is important to understand and remember the main rule of the gopniks: you need a reason to attack. Aggression without a reason is chaos. Your child is waiting for a reason. As long as he doesn't give it, he's relatively safe.

Never make excuses. In all cases, you need to persistently continue your theme. In no case do not answer questions - "I respect you, but ...", "I'm not being rude, but ...". The particle "but" will be immediately regarded as a weakness. Then the phrase will follow: “What are you making excuses for? Do you feel something behind you? or something similar to it, and we will have nothing to answer it with. This is a 100% trick - it does not matter what exactly your child answers or is simply silent, everything will be turned as an attempt to either justify or be rude.

Example:

Your child: I'm not making excuses (you must agree, it sounds silly).

Gop: Justify.

Your child: Why should I justify?

Gop: Because you're making excuses.

Your child: Yes, I'm not making excuses!

Gop: What are you doing now?

Your child: I... well... yes you! I do not want to talk to you.

Gop: Oh, you're also a rude...

Breaking the situation

Gop: What, zapadlo to talk with normal boys? (in response to a question asked)

Remember - no "no", "not", and even more so "but".

Your child: You didn't answer my question.

Gop: And you on mine.

Your child: Are you going to run into lawlessness?

Gop: Are you accusing me of something?

Your child: Answer my question. Do I have the right to ask?

Pay attention - it is "to ask." "Ask" has a double meaning in the hair dryer (thieves' jargon) - they ask someone for something that will immediately be regarded as a hit-and-run - "I have the right to ask." - "What? Ask me? For what? Justify." Everything, again a dead end.

I'm interested for myself.

“I’m interested for myself” is a duty phrase-answer to the question “for what purpose are you interested?”. Everything is fine. As soon as something like that sounded, the enemy faltered - the “right kid” began to make excuses. Now the main thing is not to go too far.

I do not know you.

In no case should you continue this phrase: "And I'm not going to talk to you", "Why should I answer you", "It's none of your business." Only neutral phrases. As long as your child has not given a formal casus belli, he is in a better position.

We stop smiling, we show with all appearance that the conversation is over.

Hold positions. The cycle can be repeated in different variations. Your child should just hold on to his position, the meaning of which is - who started the conversation, he must justify the reason.

In fact, there is only one reason for this conversation, and it is worth remembering about it - provoke your child and get the moral right to attack, insult, humiliate, hit, take away.

But, of course, the “right kid” will never voice it, because then he himself will recognize himself as a lawlessness. And this is no longer according to the concepts - the right guys do not fix chaos.

Therefore, your child should ask questions that the gopnik cannot answer, but, according to his own rules, is obliged. In chess, this is called a "fork" - with one piece we attack two. The only choice left to the opponent is which piece to lose.

The fact is that it is impossible to admit that the purpose of the tackle was to run over, as you understand. Gopnik must comply with the laws of thieves' diplomacy and remain within the law. To remain silent or leave - in fact, means tacitly admitting that everything was just the way it was. And this is to sink in the eyes of your comrades and your own.

Clear victory. But no one wants to be defeated, even though such a turn of events is quite likely. Admission of defeat, of course, can be offset by insults or promises to "meet again" - this is the last attempt to provoke your child. You just need to be silent.

Don't bend. In no case should your child fulfill the petty requests of the gopnik - instead, he should demand to state the reason first or qualify it as a direct hit. What to say directly.

Gop: Give me a glass.

- …

Your child is silent, smiling. Waiting for accusations...

Gop: You're a bastard, or what?

... and goes on the counterattack.

Your child: Checking for a Loch suit? (or: - Do you want to run into me?)

Gop: I ask you like a normal kid (Gopnik makes excuses. And in front of everyone he calls your child a “normal kid.” Two points earned).

Your child: Ah. I'm sorry, i do not understand. On the.

A draw on a foreign field is a victory. If you don’t want to be defeated, then the gopnik remains -

1. Either start beating your interlocutor, which puts him into the category of offenders from the point of view of the law and into the category of lawless people from the point of view of concepts. He does not need this, because the gop just wants to rise at the expense of someone else's humiliation.

2. Either "admit" that the goal was different - to meet, chat, spend time together. That is, avoid defeat. Which is what was required. A draw on a foreign field suits us just fine.

"Fork" - he already chooses only between which option of defeat to accept. Most likely he is not a fool: - You do not know me? Well, let's get acquainted (you can shake your paws).

Don't get carried away with winning. If a fracture occurs on the battlefield, you can give the gopnik the opportunity to rehabilitate himself in his own eyes and in the eyes of the boys. This is how it should be done - otherwise the feeling of defeat will most likely lead to a new wave of aggression, which can no longer be stopped by talking.

After acquaintance, however, cycles of the same answers and questions may again follow, and the acquaintance itself was only a trick - you just need to be vigilant and in no case relax.

No matter how many such cycles there are, the task is the same - not to provide a reason.

This means:

Don't make excuses;

Do not answer questions;

Do not comply with requests;

Do not break into "high" tones - remain polite and calm;

Continue to demand an answer to your question;

Ask "uncomfortable" questions.

We smile. It is important. This is confusing, makes the attacker nervous. This makes him afraid and act cautiously - “why is he crushing his cheek? Maybe he knows what? And he himself mows like a fool ... ".

Even… If your child met complete scumbags, then you won’t have to talk for a long time. But in reality, such specimens are extremely rare - this is a mental pathology. Almost every person has a taboo on unreasonable aggression. Those. you always need a reason, even the most ridiculous or far-fetched. The thieves' concepts also speak of this.

Even if your child suffers, then, firstly, he will retain his dignity, respect in the face of friends and himself. And even enemies, which means a lot in the long run. And, secondly, both the law and concepts are on his side, and he may well demand satisfaction, having gained strength, for example, in the form of support from friends. He is no longer a sucker, but a warrior who has just lost the battle, but not the entire war.

Mistakes. There are two possible strategic mistakes here:

Fear will take over and the child will break down, starting to mutter something inarticulate and will readily give everything that is “asked” from him;

He will feel on horseback and decide to develop success by exceeding the allowable dose of collision - most likely, in this case he will be beaten.

To teach your child to speak effectively in such stressful situations, I recommend that you periodically work out such communication with him at home. This will allow your son to remember the correct speech patterns and not forget them in "combat conditions".

Check passed. If your child does not make a mistake, and his “opponent” does not leave the battlefield himself, then he may sincerely want to continue communication.

This is often the case - if the test for “boyishness” is passed, you become not only an equal, but also a respected equal. In crowds of gopniks, there are usually one or two "real" boys, the rest are sticky. The leader always knows this and, in general, he is not interested in them - these are his miserable copies.

Therefore, your son, quite honestly and sincerely, may want to be friends.

Choosing it. If not, then no. They patted each other on the shoulder, and even embraced in a brotherly way. The market is over, consumption.

The favorite technique of hooligans is based on exerting rough mental pressure on a weaker opponent with their aggressive behavior, which often turns into direct physical impact.

What is important for such characters? Creating entertainment for yourself in the form of humiliating the weaker and building the image of a hero in the eyes of your friends.

The victim's reaction to such bullying, which is within the framework of the bully's scenario, makes his actions win-win. This scenario can be conditionally expressed as follows: “If this goat gets cold feet and runs away, then everyone will see how scary I am” (and this is one of the features of the image of the hero in the understanding of the bully). “If he jumps on me, then I will break off his horns, and everyone will see how cool I am” (the second trait of the hero). “If he breaks off my horns, then my bruises and scars will be my military orders, testifying to my resistance and indifference to pain” (another stroke in the desired image).

Let me remind you that the bully scenario already includes the possibility of physical harm. But the secondary (psychological) utility of the bumps and bruises he receives far outweighs the physical damage and pain he experiences. Therefore, a primitive scuffle does not have any educational effect on the bully.

How should a bully be properly punished?

He needs to inflict such physical damage in which there will be no secondary utility for him. The best option punishment that goes beyond the scenario of a bully - public spanking. Can you imagine what it would be like for a hefty blockhead when, in the presence of his friends, his pants are pulled down and flogged with rods? First, it hurts. Secondly, it's embarrassing. Thirdly, you won’t be particularly proud of the scars on your ass in front of your friends.

If such a bully is wound up in the classroom or in the yard, who terrorizes the entire district, then the best thing your child can do is to organize several victims of such a bully and arrange for him the “spanking” described above, or better, a series of similar events.

At the same time, the bully should each time clearly explain that if you try to catch you one by one, the group spanking will invariably repeat itself, in a much more severe form.

Also, for the time being, while the bully is bitterly defeated, it's best for your kids to stay close to each other. When the acute period is over, the bully will most likely switch to other victims who are unable to fight back together.

It should be noted that in nature, group baiting by weak animals of their strong enemy is quite common. Any zoologist can tell a lot real stories like some harmless birds, united in a flock of furious furies, drove a formidable predator from their nests. And, what is most interesting, usually a predator does not even try to snap at such a mobbing, but, with his tail between his legs, he simply tries to get out as quickly as possible. Apparently, the personal and species experience of such predators indicates that they have no protection from group persecution.

But there is a hidden danger here: once you feel your strength in the group, your child may be tempted to start crushing weaker children. Your parenting is extremely important here.

Rabbits and boas: Their weapons are our fear.
Our fear is that we do not know the rules by which “that” world operates. But we certainly respect them. Because these are the rules of the strong - concepts. We respect the world of the strong, the world of thieves and authorities. But direct access there is closed, a complete set of concepts is not available to a mere mortal. We certainly accept them, but we do not know their principles and norms. This is where the dog is buried. We accept the rules of the game without knowing them. Naturally, a more or less “bad” freak, even being a frail income, knowing a couple of “gadgets”, will beat you in two counts. Because you agreed to play by his rules. And a person who voluntarily agreed to play by the rules that he does not know is called a sucker.
Who are the gopniks.
The word, as it should be understood, comes from the well-known “gop-stop” - which on a hair dryer means robbery or robbery, i.e. open possession of material values. Robbery - with weapons, robbery - without.
Gopniks are not exactly criminals. They follow a thin line - at first they “run into” the victim with a “bazaar”, probe it, cause fear, confusion. Moreover, this is done without a direct threat of violence - from the outside it will seem that the gopnik is politeness itself, and you, on the contrary, are a nervous, unbalanced, or even completely aggressive type. As a result of such a raid, the victim, as a rule, gives up his property himself - usually small money, mobile phones, watches. Although this is not the main thing for a gopnik - he may not take anything from you. He needs to feel superior. Make you afraid of him.
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Everything is often on the verge of a “joke”, a conversation “according to concepts”, so then when disassembling you can always say - he gave it to me himself. Which is often confirmed by the victim herself:
- Well, yes, I gave them myself ...
- Why?
- I don't know...
Did they threaten you? Did they say they would beat you, take them away?
No, they didn't threaten. Well, there ..., well, they said who such a person is in life ...
"Then why did you give it to them?"
- Don't know…
If you are in the police, then the opera begins to get nervous, or even go berserk, and, in the end, tries to get rid of you. There are no legal grounds. If the disassembly is among the lads, then you get the status of a sucker. And getting from a sucker is a sacred thing for a gopnik. He's a kid, you suck. Conceptually, he is right. The conversation is over.
How to answer questions like: “Hey, come here!”
This is a direct invitation to war - ie. the war is already on. Psychological. The main thing is not to be afraid and not to rush to approach, even if you are clearly inferior in strength. You don't have to openly show off your coolness, though. Whoever starts, he must justify his actions. Therefore, if you are only probed in this way, then you need to translate the “conversation” into a different direction.
So, according to the situation - stop or turn, in a word, express some interest. Don't come.
- Hey, come here, I said!
Answers like “come here yourself” are not good, you understand, unless you are a boxing champion.
Stand.
They come to you. Scary.
- Can't you hear? (frostbitten, swollen...)
Do not pay attention, freeze, like, further:
- Can I help you?
We are not fools
If your “conversation” did not start with a direct provocation like the one described above, then usually the gopnik will extend his hand to you at a meeting - he greets you like a kid. This obliges you to be moderately polite, to answer the first questions. What he is seeking. This is one of the gopnik's main tricks - after such a gesture " good will” he gets the right to “fairly” be indignant at the fact that you, for example, do not want to communicate with him. Plus, he immediately creates an alibi for himself - “I drove up to him like a kid, shook him with claws. Was it like that!?” - “Well, yes ...” - “And people saw it. And then he began to build show-offs for me ... ”. 1:0 in favor of gopa. We break off at the very beginning. It is very difficult to endure - a look and an outstretched hand to you. The patterns of politeness are etched deep into us. The hand stretches. We hold on. We look in the face. We smile.
- Who are you?
I know that this is difficult, especially if your opponent is clearly stronger than you or there is a crowd behind him. But you HAVE THE RIGHT TO THIS. The right kid will not shake hands with the first person he meets, without first knowing who is in front of him. In prison, they don’t shake hands at all, for example - and the rules of a prison for a gopnik are sacred. And you are not obliged to reap the first paw that comes across. “Or maybe you're not a kid at all - who knows you” - you hint. But you hint in such a way that he has no right to accuse you of something. And besides, he suspects that you know the rules of the game. Your main task is to remain within the framework of ITS rules, to break off the gopnik with his own methods - you should not appeal to universal morality and quote the Constitution. This is the gopnik's trump card, that he imposes his rules on you and makes you play according to them on your own field. So that's what we do - we play with a serious look in the proposed game.
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Gopnikov should be distinguished from thieves or other representatives of the criminal world. If they immediately try to beat you up without saying a word, then these are not gopniks. If your bag was stolen or your wallet was pulled out, these are not gopniks either. Most often, their actions do not even contain elements of a crime, since the victims themselves give phones or money. In the case when the police come to the rescue, they simply give the object and say phrases like “why didn’t you come up yourself?”.

As a rule, gopniks know perfectly well what to put pressure on and how to make the victim feel guilty and obligated. Moreover, they are obliged to follow certain rules or "concepts", so they will do everything so that their actions are not misunderstood. You can take advantage of this if you understand a few basic rules. However, there are exceptions everywhere, so the text below will be devoted only to the “correct” gopniks.

If you are a representative of the beautiful half of humanity, then you have every right to simply ignore the gopniks and go on about your business. They can only stand in your way, but they simply do not have the right to grab or not let go. Then you can only run or call for help. It is better for girls not to talk to these representatives of the criminal world at all. You can just say that you hurry to your husband and go about your business.

The stronger sex in this situation was less fortunate, since ignoring is considered disrespectful and “according to concepts” can be punished by force. Of course, if you have the opportunity, it's better to just run away, as gopniks rarely pursue their victims. But if they catch up with you, then the retribution can be stronger. So try not to catch the eye of these representatives of the criminal world at all.

Do not shake hands with gopniks. When they meet, they will definitely extend their palm to you. So, "according to concepts" you can not shake hands with a stranger if you do not know him. Thus, you show that the conversation has not started and they cannot “ask” you for unanswered questions. So say, "I don't know you."

In no case should you make excuses, as this is a direct path to your humiliation. Remember that any of your words they will be able to interpret in a way convenient for them. At worst, just "turn on the fool"; at best, ask counter questions.

Any attacks in the style of "who are you in life?" you can retort with the phrase “and for what purpose are you?”. It is “interested” and not “ask”, otherwise you may be misunderstood. If they answer “I’m interested for myself,” you can repeat again that you don’t know him.

Do not show your weaknesses, do not answer "uncomfortable questions." As soon as you feel that the gopniks are weakening the attacks, you can safely say that you need to go. Do not say goodbye and answer the questions "where" or "why".

Of course, there can be a great many situations. Most importantly, do not give a reason to seem weak spiritually. Remember that just like that no one will hit you and the thing will not be taken away, since this will be considered “lawlessness”, which is severely punished in their circles.

Black knitted hat, dark sport jacket, loose pants (also, as a rule, of a sporty look), sneakers ... This trend, expressed in the language of numerous glossy publications, is relevant among a certain category of the population, will probably always remain. The legislators of fashion trends in clothing will never be able to introduce any special changes into it. At most, the letter "Y" will appear on the black back, and the eagle with wings from Armani will replace the adidas shamrock. Five psychologists and a former prisoner explained how to behave if you ran into adherents of such a fashion on the street, but it’s no longer possible to retreat.

Andrey Zberovsky, director of the Andrey Zberovsky Family Psychological Center, Krasnoyarsk:
I was a boxer in my youth and fought a lot on the streets, so I know all this. It is necessary, firstly, to behave as confidently as possible - not to retreat and turn around. Second: do not allow yourself to be surrounded - do not let anyone behind your back. And the third, if you see that you can’t do it, don’t be afraid to grab everything that comes to hand: a stick, a bottle, etc.

Beat first. People are always afraid of those who act unexpectedly and show that they are ready to go to the end. I've had dozens of fights on the streets and I didn't lose if I followed these rules.

You don't have to talk. If you strike up a conversation, you will automatically lose. They have already calculated all the moves in advance and are ready for any development of the scenario. You are not. Better to be silent and say nothing.

And another tip: call on your mobile or pretend to be talking to someone. You can say: "I'm already coming." Or clarify the number of the nearest house - for example, you saw house number 36 near the company and loudly “specify” on the phone: “What is your number? 36 or 38? Come on, I'm already there." So that those who get in your way have an understanding: you are not alone, they can come to your aid and they are not far away.

Igor Lyakh, head of the psychotherapeutic department of the Insight clinic:
If you have noticed a company from afar, it is better to go the other way. The majority in this situation is destroyed by false pride: they say, I am young and strong ... If you run well, run. It is better to run away than to deal with the painful consequences later.

If conflict is inevitable and there is little strength, there are a few rules: remember that life is always more precious than anything. Secondly, the illusion of our own omnipotence is destroying us. Feel free to take out the phone, start talking to someone, call the police.

Gopniks don't always attack. But if it does happen, don't hesitate to call for help. And it is better to have minimal training in protecting the head and other vulnerable parts of the body.

It is necessary to behave simply and naturally. Without provocation and aggression. But there is no need to show fear either. It is better to answer with simple answers. You have the right not to answer if something is not clear. And you don’t have to promise anything, and don’t say anything that would be regarded as a lie or an attempt to humiliate the interlocutor ... Aggression is provoked by a pronounced fear and submission, or an initial provocation.

Igor Poperechny, director of the Center for Medical Sexology and Psychotherapy:
“Experienced people are“ fighters ”, I talked with such people, they recommend talking calmly, raising your hands and lightly touching the hands with whom you are talking. It takes the pressure off and shows that you are not afraid. But no sudden movements. On the other hand, no apologetic tone so they don't feel the power. In extreme cases, run to the store and call relatives or the police from there.

Many gopniks start a discussion in order to distract. It's like dogs guarding sheep in Asia. There always attacks the one that is behind. Sometimes you are spoken to so that someone comes behind you and hits you on the head.

I once had a case when I was surrounded by five people. I took out a small knife, showed it and said: “I don’t care what happens to me - you can kill me. But with a knife, I'll cut someone's artery or vein and they'll die. You won't have time to finish me off until I kill someone. Choose which one of you wants to die. And they fell behind.

In general, it is better to run. I have a police officer friend who, when he asked to take him to the section where he would learn to fight, took his son to the running section. It was a wise decision.

Alexander Butskikh, director of the Center for Psychotherapy of Dr. Butskikh:
We need to kill the leader immediately. Figure out who is the leader and destroy him. (Laughs) The second option is to quickly run away. This is a healthier option for the body. As the samurai say: a fight not allowed is a fight won.

One of my acquaintances, he was such a former bandit-athlete, he said: “They are like animals. Everyone feels it." Gopniks “read” you on a non-verbal level: what a person feels, what emotions come from him ... If they feel the victim, it will be difficult.

A drooping head, drooping shoulders, lack of energy in gait, facial expressions, gestures… These are all signs of a gamma male (not a leader. — IK). The eyes should not run or be lowered, the voice should not be timid.

Talking loudly, shouting back, looking intently into the eyes - you should not. This will be seen as a challenge. And the challenge can be accepted, and you will have to answer.

Do not rush to approach the shout. Even if you are clearly inferior in strength. Although it is not necessary to openly demonstrate your coolness. Whoever starts, he must justify his actions.

Do not greet. In prison, they don’t shake hands at all, and the order of the prison for the gopnik is sacred. You don't have to press the first paw that comes along. “Or maybe you’re not a kid at all - who knows you?” - you hint ... He suspects that you know the rules of the game. The main task is to stay within its rules.

Do not make excuses. In no case do not answer questions - "I respect you, but ...", "I'm not being rude, but ...". Your "but" will be immediately regarded as a weakness. If the phrase follows further: “And what are you making excuses for? Do you feel something?"

Smile. It is important. This is confusing, makes the attacker nervous. This makes him fearful and act cautiously: “Why is he crushing his forehead? Maybe he knows what? And he himself mows down like a fool.

If you met complete scumbags, then you won’t have to talk for a long time. But in reality, such specimens are extremely rare - this is a mental pathology. Almost every person has a taboo on unreasonable aggression. That is, you always need a reason, even the most ridiculous or far-fetched.

At the end, Vitaly remarked: “The main rule is not to turn around. Either don't start at all, or once you start, don't give up. Remember Russian fairy tales: don't look back. Who turned around - lost.

Perhaps the most unpleasant situation on the street is when a group of young and strong guys surrounds and asks in an extremely friendly way to give the phone and money. The paradox of the jewelry gop-stop is that in most cases the victim gives everything herself, without threats from the "boys", without beatings and very quietly. How to talk with gopniks if you have already found yourself in such an unpleasant situation? Is it possible at all to oppose these people and save not only their property, but also the feeling of dignity? At first glance, the advice is quite contradictory, but even in them one can isolate a reasonable strategy suitable for application. To begin with, it is worth understanding what kind of phenomenon you have to fight and how to distinguish gopniks from banal robbers or hooligans.

Who are these gopniks?

You should not call everyone who encroaches on your property gopniks. By and large, these are not just aggressive youth, but the so-called right guys. Gopniks have their own set of rules and unwritten laws and do not respect lawlessness, this is what makes it possible to get out of the situation. The rules are not violated by those who do not want to lose authority in the eyes of the "boys", therefore, you need to put the gopnik in a position where he can no longer encroach on your property and physical health without the risk of being branded as a bespredelschik.

How to talk to gopniks if there is no chance to avoid conversation at all? In this, the advice circulated on the Web is absolutely in solidarity: the main parameter that should be observed is in oneself. A demonstrative conviction that you are in your right will solve the problem about half the time. At the same time, it is desirable to hold back and not slide into direct aggression, which will only lead to a fight. However, if you really believe that you will prevail in a brawl, no one can forbid you to defend your immunity by force.

Complicated gop-stop rules

In most cases, the gopniks try to do without direct violence, in which case law enforcement agencies will have fewer reasons for dissatisfaction, and their reputation will not suffer. The ideal hop-stop is a gentle but deliberate pressure on the victim to give away all the material possessions she has. The infliction of physical injuries of varying severity aggravates the article, according to which, in case of capture, it will be possible to attract "boys", so they try to stay within the framework of such an article as extortion.

Theoretically, this is a kind of subculture - gopniks are different from ordinary people appearance, behavior, life values ​​and special vocabulary. But other subcultures try not to come into conflict with law enforcement by the method of the absence of illegal actions, and not by successful maneuvering and the principle of "not caught - not a thief."

It should be noted that gopniks usually go to another area of ​​the city to hunt for other people's property, so there is less risk of meeting acquaintances, potential witnesses who will remember both the first and last name, and even how the possible person involved in the criminal case went to school. “Do not shit where you live” is a fairly simple and widespread rule that not only gopniks, but also other criminal elements try to adhere to.

If your neighbors are gopniks, this is not a cause for concern. Of course, such a neighborhood is inconvenient and sometimes noisy, but the average Kolyan in tracksuit may turn out to be a pretty good guy, who, in which case, will “fit in” for your person against visiting “boys”. Good-neighborly relations are not alien to gopniks, on the contrary, many of them tremblingly appreciate a good attitude towards themselves. There are cases when a group of gopniks helped push a stalled car or in some other way rescued those in trouble. Of course, it should be borne in mind that isolated cases cannot be considered the rule, another company may not be so peaceful.

How to talk with gopniks in terms of concepts?

Common advice that comes across on the Web: try to pass for your own, use the same vocabulary, they will not touch your own. Alas, mimicry lovers will have to be disappointed: only boys who decide to play gopniks and scare a gullible passerby will be deceived. Real "boys" who have been moving in criminal circles for more than a day will quickly recognize your disguise, and the situation can seriously worsen - not everyone will be able to "play around" in such a way as to pass for a gopnik. But learning the thug language can be useful. Firstly, it is entertaining in itself, and secondly, if you meet gopniks, this will help to avoid misunderstanding. On the other hand, most of the expressions from the boys' dictionary are clear to us intuitively: it is unlikely good man called a "rat" or some other unpleasant word.

What are the mysterious "concepts" according to which the gopniks choose a victim? Part of the answer lies in the very name of the victim - suffered. This is a person who tolerates the wrong attitude towards himself, therefore, allows him to be treated like that. Hence it follows universal instruction how to talk with gopniks: first of all, you need to stop conforming to the appearance of the ideal victim. This will solve about fifty percent of the problems. So, the two main points are self-confidence and categorical rejection

The right guys value respect in their address, it is the phrase “he does not respect us, is rude to us” that can become a signal to attack and justify any aggression against the victim. Indeed, how not to kick someone who did not show proper respect? From a psychological point of view, it’s even easier not to lose control over the situation - as soon as emotions and fear overwhelm you, you can consider the battle lost. Controlling intonation and expressions will help you stay calm.

"Without a sucker and life is bad"

Suffered and sucker - not quite the same thing, but the result is usually the same. The difference between these two kinds of victims lies in the fact that she endured, respectively, endures everything, and a sucker is a simple-minded person to the point of stupidity. At the same time, it is worth noting that the slang of the gopniks is not the truth, but rather an excuse for their own actions, which is based on the accusation of the victim, because she is allegedly to blame for her misfortunes. This is often voiced to the police when it comes time to file charges. Defenders of law and order find themselves in a difficult position when it turns out that no one beat the victim, did not demand to give money and a phone. An elegant, correct gop-stop is arranged in such a way that the victim, in confusion, gives everything herself.

It is worth knowing that gopniks never approach the first person they meet on the street, they carefully choose the victim. There are even spotters in large groups who follow citizens who withdraw large amounts of money from ATMs, tell accomplices exactly how the object is dressed, in which direction he went, where he put the money. Outwardly insecure people fall into a zone of increased risk, especially if they walk alone. Any rules of conduct with gopniks begin with the point "not to be a victim." If you see that a suspicious person is watching you, try to leave the potentially dangerous place as soon as possible and let him know that you saw him. A careful look is enough - you "copied" it, this is a potential risk for the whole group, suddenly you will have time to call and call for help.

"Gop stop - we came up from around the corner"

The "boys" themselves highlight the main mistakes of their victims, do not ignore the information "from the other side of the barricades", the words of the gopniks may seem offensive, but there is some truth in them. Some of the victims have the opportunity to see the danger from afar, if the gopniks just sit in a crowd and drink beer - usually they behave quite noisily, do not hide. If you have caught just such a company, just walking past on your business, most likely, you really attract attention to yourself with an emphasized frightened or ingenuous look. Walking at dusk, lighting your way with the latest iPhone model, is also not the best strategy.

If, as in the famous song, you were approached from behind a corner, this means that you were chosen as a victim in advance and you did not notice it. You should not give the initiative to the aggressors, although not everyone has the talent to seize the initiative. If you have a gift for rhetoric, this will help to "talk" opponents, but if not, then feel free to flee. There are many other potential victims wandering around, the likelihood of your persecution is not as great as it seems.

We have to admit that sometimes it is better to give everything that is required and leave. Of course, this is humiliating, annoying, and there is a risk that a convenient victim will now be met regularly and with open arms, turning into a "cash cow". Some prefer to go into open confrontation so as not to hurt their pride. We have to admit that this is a personal choice of each person, and only he is responsible for this choice.

Self-righteousness as a weapon

Any conversation with gopniks begins with an attempt to get your attention. For example, they may call with the phrase “there is a conversation” or even the banal “listen, come here.” If you do not have the opportunity to get away from communication that you do not need, you should not obey and approach - many do this automatically, but according to the logic of the "boys", by this you demonstrate submission. The first rule: who needs it, he will do it himself. Thus, you shift the focus of submission from yourself to the interlocutor. The universal answer to any question of a gopnik: "I don't know you." That's right - he requires your attention, therefore, he must introduce himself, approach, literally report on the legitimacy of his appeal. You are on your own territory and within your rights.

After that, the aggressor will be forced to either comply with your requirements, or go on lawlessness and be the first to show aggression, which is not held in high esteem among normal "boys". It is important that if you are not able to organically switch to his language and masterfully "boat on a hair dryer", it is better not to try. A real gopnik will quickly see through your attempt to "change suit" and use it against you. For example, he can accuse you of disrespect, of trying to deceive, thereby pulling control over himself, and you will again have to get out. If the intended victim behaves calmly and with dignity, the "boys" may suspect that the wrong one was attacked. Indeed, you never know what, suddenly an intelligent-looking person has a gun in his pocket or his dad is a crime boss? Nothing is certain right now.

Superiority moral and physical

Of course, if the phrase “I don’t know you” worked and the conversation proceeds with mutual respect, then the round can be considered won. Often such a conversation ends with a handshake and farewell, perhaps a joint smoke break. The gopniks feel their strong personality unmistakably and try not to go into the reasons for such confidence, because you can suddenly dig up something that the “senior comrades” will hurt very much.

But aggression should be shown only if you are really confident in your physical superiority. In a fight, gopniks do not follow the rules of the sport, and there is a risk of getting corny on the head with a brick from behind. In this case, you will also be accused of assault. If you cannot translate gopnik slang into normal language, then you can easily recognize the intonation. At the slightest threat of physical violence, it is worthwhile to outline the prospects for this direction of events directly and as calmly as possible. For example, to clarify that you will certainly record the beatings and no later than an hour later the whole company will be interrogated by an investigator in the police station on duty. The "boys" categorically do not like to contact law enforcement agencies. In addition, this promise automatically removes the “terpily” label from you - you are not going to endure and be silent, so you should not be contacted.

Ignore with far calculation

What to do if you are a completely unsportsmanlike person, and you don’t exude moral self-confidence? A timid character in itself is not a disadvantage, it is just a feature of the psyche. However, non-conflict does not make you a victim, just in this case it is better to choose other defense mechanisms. What to do if unpleasant slang expressions are already flying in your direction, from which you want to pull your head into your shoulders?

You should not show fear and squint in the direction of the gopniks. Even if you feel like running away as fast as you can, try to just pick up your pace and absently drop "sorry, I'm in a hurry." This is fairly neutral, but you don't have to stop and see if your phrase made the right impression. You are in a hurry, so it is better to really evacuate from a potentially dangerous place as quickly as possible. Any public transport, a large shopping center, any organization will do. The likelihood that you will be chased or will lie in wait around the corner for the rest of the century is negligible.

If these are not gopniks, but lawless people

Unfortunately, sometimes you have to meet not with gopniks who have at least some rules, but with ordinary bandits or hooligans, whose name is lawlessness. They do not follow any rules, they cannot be "talked", although at the same time they use the language of gopniks and may even try to disguise themselves as them. Most likely, the lawless people are actually the former correct "boys" who quarreled with their entourage precisely because they do not follow the rules, do not respect the authorities. You can also fall out of the social circle as a result of an unsuccessful attempt to intercept power in the group.

In this case, it is not themselves who do not respect the lawless people. Surprisingly, there are cases when it was the gopniks who protected civilians from punks. It is possible that this is a mere coincidence, but again, to allow lawlessness on your territory, to allow strangers to “pinch” their personal patience, is shameful for the boys. The main way to determine that in front of you are not boys, but lawless people, is open aggression without trying to shift the blame on the victim. If it is possible to call for help or flee, it is better to do it right away, without waiting for the start of a fight. We have to take into account that not everyone is able to physically resist the bandits.

Even if you are a master of sports in martial arts, it is better to avoid a fight. This fits perfectly into the philosophy of karate and any style of martial arts, and will also minimize material and physical losses on your part.

Ways to avoid danger

It cannot be said that those offered with gopniks and hooligans are one hundred percent universal and effective, but they can significantly reduce the degree of risk.

You should not defiantly “shine” with a fat wallet or an expensive phone, even if you want to impress a girl. When moving along the streets, especially in a relatively disadvantaged area, it is better to carefully look around, and not withdraw into yourself. Then there is a chance to notice a suspicious group in advance, change the route, go to the other side of the road, or at least wait for fellow travelers. Attacks on lone bystanders are much more common than attacks on groups of several people.

If a fight is unavoidable and the aggressors clearly set out to inflict physical injuries of varying severity on you, then try to protect your back so that no one can sneak up behind you. Experts in street fights advise to attack the leader, in most cases the rest simply scatter, but it is worth remembering that each case is individual.

Proper flight or tactical retreat should be carried out in the direction of any crowded or at least illuminated object. Not bad if there is a bank branch nearby, even at night. Do not hesitate to loudly tell the hooligans that they are being filmed by a bank camera, suddenly they forgot about the habit of serious institutions to install video cameras.

If, in the process of self-defense, you seriously injured someone or damaged someone else's property, for example, you broke the glass of an expensive foreign car, then there is a risk of remaining guilty. It is a shame to realize that our legislation is imperfect, but that is why many experts recommend not to wait for the arrival of the police, especially if you are sure that you have remained unrecognized and no one remembers you. The chance to prove your innocence, unfortunately, is quite small.