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Tantrum child 1 year 3 months. Why tantrums occur in a child, how to deal with them and prevent them

When a baby turns one year old, a special period begins in the life of the family, which is accompanied by childish whims and hysterical seizures. The baby categorically refuses to listen to adults, stamps his feet, knocks with his fists, falls to the floor, screams furiously. This behavior often confuses parents. Some children calm down quite quickly, while others cannot cope with emotions until the age of three or more. How to deal with this problem?

What you need to know about child tantrums

It should be borne in mind that whims and tantrums are different concepts. So, the first child uses intentionally to get the desired item or permission from adults. At the same time, the child scatters things, stomps, raises his voice, cries loudly.

Hysteria happens involuntarily at the moment when the little man cannot cope with the emotions that overcome him. During a seizure, he does not just scream, but yells, injures himself, beats his head on the ground, and so on. If this condition lasts for a long time, then a convulsive syndrome occurs.

Why does a one-year-old baby behave like this? There are many reasons for this:

1. The kid craves independence. He gradually begins to realize that he is a person separate from the mother, he has individual desires and needs.
2. A child in a year cannot fully express his thoughts and emotions, since the vocabulary consists of only a few words. Therefore, he conveys information to adults in ways accessible to himself - whims.
3. Through tantrums, the child wants to force the parents to fulfill their demands.
4. Also, through such behavior, the baby can express jealousy and lack of attention to himself.
5. Sometimes whims arise due to the fact that the baby is simply overtired or feels unwell.

At such a young age, the little one still cannot regulate his emotions normally, and therefore sometimes he brings himself to seizures.

How to behave to parents

If tantrums periodically appear in the behavior of a child, an important task arises before loved ones - to teach him to express his desires in a civilized and calm way. Emotional outbursts should be responded to correctly. First, it is forbidden to get annoyed, shout at the child, get angry. It is necessary to ignore him, demonstrating his indifference to what is happening.

Secondly, it is important to establish the reasons why the baby is naughty. Thus, you can save him from many irritants in the future. However, this does not mean that you need to indulge and give in to children's whims all the time. He must understand that this behavior will not achieve anything.

Thirdly, if the tantrum has just begun, you should try to switch the attention of the crumbs to something interesting and tempting so that he forgets about his unsatisfied desires.

Fourth, some babies respond well to warm hugs and tenderness. You can hug the child to yourself, say something affectionate, encourage.

During a seizure, scolding a child does not make sense. educational activities should be postponed until the moment when the violent manifestation of feelings has passed.

There are a number of preventive measures you can try:

1. observe the regime of the day;
2. give the baby the opportunity to get rid of excess energy in the process of active games;
3. talk more with the child, explaining eternal truths - what is “good” and “bad”;
4. all relatives of the baby should adhere to the same line of behavior so as not to confuse him with inconsistency of actions;
5. for starters, moms and dads are obliged to learn to control themselves, and only then set an example for the child;
6. it is necessary to set adequate requirements for the little man, corresponding to his age, because often it is the parents who provoke whims with their ridiculous whims.

In education, it is important to use a reward system, and not to surround the baby with prohibitions from all sides. Then he will remember what good behavior will receive a nice reward.

How to deal with a child's tantrum in a year

After a tantrum, you should always talk with the baby. Although he is small, one should try to explain to him that such behavior is unacceptable either at home or in in public places. At the same time, one cannot insult his personality, it is necessary to condemn his actions.

Naturally, after one such conversation, the baby will not immediately change in better side. Parents will have to stock up on patience, calmness, composure, so that the number of tantrums gradually decreases to a minimum, and they disappear completely. If adults constantly “explode” when a child is naughty, then this will not lead to anything good.

You can't indulge in the fits of a little manipulator. If he feels that his methods are working, then at the next ban he will definitely use them again.

When no methods help to cope with the child's emotional outbursts, it is worth seeking the help of a specialist. Perhaps the baby has some kind of neurological disease, which provokes frequent seizures.

Thus, tantrums in a one-year-old baby, although they are an unpleasant phenomenon and a difficult test for parents, adults must respond correctly to them, so that over time the little man learns to cope with emotions and adequately express his own desires.

Causes

The older the baby, the more personal desires and interests he has. Sometimes these views diverge from what parents think. There is a clash of positions. The child sees that he cannot achieve what he wants and begins to get angry and nervous. Such tense situations provoke the appearance of hysterical states. We list the main factors influencing this:

the baby is not able to declare and express his dissatisfaction;
an attempt to draw attention to oneself;
the desire to get something you need;
overwork, hunger, lack of sleep;
a painful condition during an exacerbation of the disease or after it;
trying to become like other children or be like an adult;
the result of exorbitant guardianship and excessive severity of parents;
positive or negative actions of the child do not have a clear reaction from adults;
the system of rewards and punishments is poorly worked out;
when a child is torn away from some exciting activity;
wrong upbringing;
weak nervous system, unbalanced behavior.

Having once seen this in their baby, parents often do not know how to react and how to stop it? The only desire in the moments of attacks is that they end as soon as possible and do not start again. Parents can influence their frequency. The duration of such situations will depend on their correct and rational behavior.

Mistakes in response will lead to dragging out unpleasant moments for many years. A calm reaction to hysterical attacks, the absence of a reaction as such will reduce children's tantrums to "no" in the shortest possible time.

Difference from whims

Before starting the fight against hysterical attacks, it is necessary to distinguish between the two concepts of "hysteria" and "whim". Whims are deliberate actions aimed at obtaining the desired, impossible or forbidden. Whims appear similarly to tantrums: stomping, screaming, throwing objects. Whims are often born where there is no way to fulfill them - for example, you want to eat candy, but there are none in the house, or go for a walk, and it's raining outside.

Children's tantrums are distinguished by involuntariness. The kid cannot cope with emotions, and this splashes out in physical manifestations. So, in a hysterical state, the child tears his hair, scratches his face, cries loudly or knocks his head against the wall. It can be stated that sometimes there are even involuntary convulsions, which are called "hysterical bridge". The child in this state arches.

Seizure stages

How do children's tantrums manifest themselves? 2-3 years - the age characterized by the following stages of seizures:

Stage	Description
scream	The loud cries of the child frighten the parents. In this case, no requirements are put forward. During the beginning of the next tantrum, the baby does not see or hear anything around.
motor excitation	The main characteristics of the period: active scattering of things, stomping, kicks, hands and head against the wall, floor. The baby does not feel pain at such moments.
Sobs	The child begins to shed tears. They just flow in streams, and the whole look of the little one expresses resentment. The baby who has crossed the second stage and has not received consolation in it continues to sob for a very long time. Babies find it very difficult to cope with the emotions that have washed over them. Having received calm only at the last stage, the child will be completely exhausted, will express a desire to sleep in the daytime. Falls asleep quickly, but sleeps restlessly at night.

When hysterical, the child can fall to the floor and arch, which is especially shocking for unprepared parents.

Weak and unbalanced type nervous system the child is most susceptible to the appearance of severe seizures. At the age of up to 1 year, hysterical manifestations also occur. They are characterized by heart-rending prolonged crying. What can cause such a condition? The reason can be even a minimal mistake in care: mom did not change her wet panties, feeling thirsty or hungry, the requirement to sleep, pain from colic. For such children, constant waking up at night is characteristic. one year old baby may continue to cry for a long time, even if the causes have already been eliminated.

Tantrums in a child at 1.5-2 years old

Children at the age of one and a half throw tantrums amid emotional overstrain and fatigue. Not fully established psyche gives such results, but how older child, the more conscious are his hysterical attacks. He thus manipulates the feelings of his parents, achieving his goals.

By the age of 2, a grown-up baby already understands well how to use the words “I don’t want”, “no” and understands the meaning of the phrase “no”. Having realized the mechanism of their action, he begins to apply them in practice. The two-year-old cannot yet verbally express his protest or disagreement, so he resorts to a more expressive form - to hysterical fits.

The aggressive and unbridled behavior of a 1-2-year-old child shocks parents, they do not know what reaction will be right. The kid screams, waving his arms, lying on the floor, scratching - all these actions require an adequate response from adults. Some adults succumb to provocations and fulfill all the desires of the little one, and another part resorts to physical punishment in order to wean them from this in the future.

When hysterical, the child can become aggressive and unbridled, but parents should not panic and follow the lead of the little dictator

Correct response: what is it?

What should be the reaction to the hysterical attacks of a two-year-old? The basis is often a whim, expressed in the words “I won’t”, “give”, “I don’t want”, etc. Having failed to prevent the occurrence of a hysterical attack, discard thoughts of calming the child. Also, do not reason with him or scold him, this will only further inflame his impulse. Don't leave your child alone. It is important to keep him in sight, so the baby will not be scared, but will maintain self-confidence.

Once you give in to the baby, you risk getting a repeated repetition of this. Do not contribute to the consolidation of this skill, do not follow the lead. Having once felt that the child achieves his goal with his behavior, he will resort to this method again and again.

A one-time weakness of an adult can turn into a long-term problem. Beating and punishing a child is also not worth it, physical influences will not bring results, but will only aggravate the behavior of the baby. It really helps to completely ignore the children's hysteria. Seeing that his efforts are in vain and, if they do not bring desired result, the child will refuse this method of exposure.

You can gently and calmly calm him down by telling the baby how much you love him, while hugging him tightly and holding him in your arms. Try to be kinder and gentler, even if he gets very angry, screams or knocks his head. Do not hold the little one escaping from your arms by force. In a situation where the baby is hysterical because he does not want to stay with someone (with a grandmother, with a teacher), then you should leave the room as soon as possible, leaving him with an adult. Delaying the moment of parting will only lengthen the process of children's tantrums.

Tantrums in public places

It is very difficult for parents to control the process of hysterical demands in public places. It is much easier and safer for a 2-year-old child to yield in order to stop the noise and establish calm, but this opinion is extremely erroneous. The sidelong glances of others should not worry you at this moment, the most important thing is the same reaction to similar actions.

Having yielded once and calmed the scandal, you provoke a secondary repetition of the situation. The baby asks for a toy in the store - be firm in your refusal. Do not react to his trampling, indignation and discontent of any plan. Seeing the confident and unshakable behavior of parents, the child will understand that hysterical fits do not help to achieve what he wants. Remember that the baby arranges hysterical attacks in order to influence, often in public places, relying on the opinion of the public.

The best response is to wait a bit. After the attack is over, you should calm the baby, hug and gently inquire about the reason for his behavior, and also say that talking to him is much more pleasant when he is in a calm state.

Tantrums in a child of 3 years

A child at 3 years old wants to be independent and feel his adulthood and independence. The baby already has his own desires and wants to defend his rights in front of adults. Children of 3 years old are at the turn of new discoveries and begin to feel like a unique person, they can behave differently in such a difficult period (we recommend reading:). Of the main characteristics of this stage is negativism, stubbornness and self-will. Tantrums in a child of 3 years old often discourage parents. Yesterday their little one did everything with joy and pleasure, but today he does everything in defiance. Mom asks to eat soup, and the baby throws a spoon, or dad calls to him, and the child persistently ignores these requests. It seems that the main words of the three-year-old are “I don’t want”, “I won’t”.

Let's fight the tantrums

How to deal with children's tantrums? It is important when weaning the crumbs from this harmful activity not to focus on his bad deeds. Give up the desire to break his character, it will not lead to anything good. Of course, allowing the child to do whatever he wants is also unacceptable. How then to deal with this disaster? The child must understand that hysteria does not help to achieve any results. Wise grandmothers and mothers know that The best way in such cases, switch children's attention to something else, distract him. Choose interesting alternatives: watch your favorite cartoon or work out, play together. This method will not work if the baby is already in the climax of hysteria. Then the best thing is to wait.

When showing tantrums at home, clearly articulate your idea that any conversations with him will be only after he calms down. At this moment, do not pay any more attention to him and do household chores. Parents should lead by example on how to manage their emotions and stay calm. When the baby calms down, talk to him and tell him how much you love him and that his whims will not help achieve anything.

When whims happen in a crowded place, try to take or carry the child to where there will be fewer spectators. Regular tantrums in the crumbs provide for a more attentive attitude to the words that you say to the child. Avoid situations where the answer to your question might be no. You should not say categorically: “Get dressed, it’s time to go outside!” Create the illusion of choice: "Will you go in a red sweater or a blue sweater?" or “Where would you like to go, to the park or to the playground?”

Approaching the age of 4 years, the child will change - children's tantrums will subside and pass as suddenly as they appeared. The baby enters the age when there is already the ability to talk about their desires, emotions and feelings.

Sometimes a regular cartoon helps to distract a child and switch his attention.

Tantrums in a 4 year old

Often we, adults, ourselves provoke the appearance of whims and tantrums in children. Permissiveness, lack of framework and the concepts of “no” and “no” do the baby a disservice. The baby falls into the trap of parental carelessness. So, children of 4 years old perfectly feel the slack, and if the mother says “no”, it means that the grandmother can allow it. It is important for parents and all raising adults to agree and discuss what is allowed and prohibited, as well as to inform the child. After that, you should strictly adhere to the established rules. All adults should be united in their methods of education and not violate the prohibitions of others.

Komarovsky argues that frequent childhood whims and tantrums may indicate the presence of diseases of the nervous system. You should seek help from a neurologist or psychologist if:

in the presence of a frequent manifestation of hysterical situations, as well as their aggressiveness;
there is a violation or interruption of breathing during attacks, the child loses consciousness;
tantrums continue after 5-6 years of age;
the baby beats or scratches himself, others;
tantrums appear at night in combination with nightmares, fears and frequent mood swings;
after an attack, the child has vomiting, shortness of breath, lethargy and fatigue.

When doctors state the absence of any diseases, one should look for the cause in family relationships. The immediate environment of the baby can also have a great influence on the occurrence of hysterical attacks.

Prevention

How to deal with child tantrums? It is important for parents to catch the moment close to the attack. Perhaps the baby purses his lips, sniffs or sobs slightly. Noticing such characteristic signs, try to switch the baby to something interesting.

Distract the attention of the child by showing the view from the window or changing the room by taking interesting toy. This technique is relevant at the very beginning of a child's tantrum. With the active development of an attack, this method will not give results. To prevent hysterical conditions, Dr. Komarovsky gives the following advice:

Compliance with the regime of rest and daily routine.
Avoid overwork.
Respect the child's right to personal time, to allow him to play for his own pleasure.
Naming your child's feelings. For example, say: “You are hurt that your toy was taken away from you” or “You are angry because your mother did not give you candy.” This will teach your child to talk about their feelings and verbalize them. Gradually he will learn to control them. Once the boundaries are set, make it clear that they are not allowed to be violated. For example, a baby screams in a bus, you explain: “I understand that you are angry with me, but screaming on a bus is unacceptable.”
Don't help your child do things he can do on his own (take off his pants or walk down stairs).
Give the child the opportunity to choose, for example, in which jacket to go outside, or which playground to go for a walk.
Assuming no choice, express it like this: "Let's go to the clinic."
When the baby starts crying, distract him by asking him to find some object or show where something is.

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Children act up quite often, but our role is to be wise parents, so we must understand and distinguish between a child’s simple disagreement with your actions or an emotional breakdown called a whim. In each such situation, parents must understand how to respond to a particular situation.

At this age, children are not able to act on purpose and use tantrum to demand, but you should not turn a blind eye to this. Manifestations must be prevented before they occur.

That is, if you notice that the child is changing "in the face", take him in your arms and talk to him calmly, do everything to distract him. At an older age, such tantrums can be used by a child in order to get what they want.

Age of first tantrums

Not often parents can boast that their children did not have tantrums at all. According to scientists, about 90% of parents experience tantrums in children from one to three years old.

Most often, the first tantrums begin at a year and a half. The peak of capriciousness and stubbornness is considered to be 2.5 - 3 years, the so-called "crisis" period of three years. During a crisis period, tantrums can occur up to 10-15 times a day, for almost any reason. At the age of four, such behavior is considered rare, the child is able to express his feelings and emotions in words.

Causes of tantrums in children

Tantrums in a baby after a year are a combination of anger and indignation, which he cannot express in any other way. The manifestation can be expressed in stamping feet, throwing various objects, biting, etc. A tantrum can also be used by a baby in order to get a favorite toy.

Thus, children of absolutely all parents act, only the age of manifestation can be different. Important point is how you will be exposed to these manifestations. If you give in, then be sure that the tantrums will continue, and soon it will only happen.

The main thing is to let the child understand that nothing can be achieved by tantrums.

Tantrums in a child 1.5 years old: what to do

Of course, it is very difficult to remain calm in such a situation, but you should not succumb to provocation. Do everything to ensure that the baby understands that his actions will not lead to anything.

Do not think that punishment will be able to calm the baby. This is absolutely not true. It can give rise to an even greater hysteria, only the reason will be that the child is hurt and unpleasant. You will not be able to endure for a long time and will succumb. Be more restrained, a calm conversation will give a greater impact.

Tantrums in a child of 1.5 years in public places

Not all parents are able to withstand a tantrum in a public place. It is easier to give in and give what you want, "if only you would stop screaming." But this way is dangerous.

Try not to pay attention to the judgmental looks of strangers. If you give in now just to avoid a public scandal, be prepared for the fact that you will have to do the same in the future.

You refused to buy new toy don't back down right away. Let the child be indignant, stomp their feet and express dissatisfaction. If you confidently declare your decision, the child will understand that he will not achieve anything by hysteria.

Tantrums in public places are usually designed not so much for mom as for the audience. Be careful when involving others in this process. Better to do without their help and just wait out the outbreak. Screaming when no one is paying attention is not at all interesting.

Video materials on the topic of the article

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