Does a psychologist help to get married or is it all nonsense? Gypsy fortune-telling by date of birth: you won’t get away from fate If marriage is not fate.
Beautiful, stately, smart, refined taste. Cleanliness and comfort in the house. Several foreign languages as a bonus, and one? That's why not all women can get married and start a family?
Loneliness, and there are no marriage proposals, but you really want a family and children! ? I won't delve into negative impacts from envious friends and ill-wishers. These factors of loneliness are certainly present in our lives, but not in such numbers as the ladies supposedly summarize.
What causes a woman to be lonely?
First reason- clearly expressed and written in large letters on the forehead: "I want to get married!". Men are very sensitive to such vibrations. The subconscious task of a polygamous man is to maintain freedom and at the same time continue his race. He is a hunter! And if the deer does not hide from his arrow and does not run away, but rests his forehead on the tip, then the hunter himself will throw the bow and accelerate in the opposite direction. This behavior of men is well known. If, upon meeting or after several acquaintance dates, a woman begins to actively “break through” plans for the future, and in relation to her, in particular, then something is unlikely to work out. A persistent invitation to visit and a clear demonstration of a cozy trap also does not contribute to marriage. The second reason- Willingness to appear on demand. Submission and consent of a woman to the desires of a man is very useful. But only after the march of Mendelssohn and very dosed. He may not call for a week. Reset lady calls and do not answer SMS. He lives his own life. On weekends, football may not connect with beer in a male company, or (even worse) an inaccessible “doe” has slipped away from the “hunter”, and out of boredom or resentment, he will always dial the number ready woman who will agree. Or he will come running and open his doors and invite you to the laid table. And he will relax, relieve stress and disappear again for an indefinite time. Why get married if there is a woman who is as comfortable as a toothpick and always ready for anything. And most importantly, she does not ask questions, but only tensely waits to be appreciated: how necessary she is ... at an alternate airfield. Third reason- self-sufficiency and strength of a woman's personality. Lady can do everything herself. She has a career or a business. A cool car and phrases like rubber balls from pneumatic weapons: they don’t kill, but they leave bruises. As a reminder that a man should not have his own opinion by definition. This woman will not pay attention to the fact that there were no calls and messages for a week - however, if there are any, she does not have time to twitter on abstract topics. She is oppressed by loneliness during the long Christmas holidays or a couple of times a year visiting a married friend. She has no family, and purely for social reasons, she voices "I want to get married." Such ladies can be offered a question for analysis: “Why do you need this fuss and trouble?”. The fourth reason for loneliness- availability and compliance with the desires of a man, can reject the option of marriage to the Canadian border. Acquaintance at a disco, in a club or in the company of mutual friends. The man is charming and attentive. The spark has gone! Lightning flashed! There was an attraction - it's lovely. But not a reason for maximum close contact in the rooms, bedroom or car. Desire for instant action does nothing to promote the exchange wedding rings. After 30 minutes, the man remembers that "in sorrow and joy, until death do you part," he sees a pure and modest maiden. In the best case, and in the presence of education, he will ask for a phone number. But it is unlikely to continue acquaintance in a different format.Do not make yourself an idol in the face of a fictional prince
Fifth reason- idealization of the image. A woman creates in her dreams a heroic mix of the very best male qualities. And, of course, a simple guy cannot fit into these requirements of intelligence and beauty, financial prosperity and athletic physique. A woman does not hear the voice of her heart, but tries to drown it out with reasonable arguments of a cold mind. She criticizes the naive choice of girlfriends and sums up: “I would never marry such a woman!”. Years pass, and the heroic image is covered with dust, the created idol, the invented prince on a white horse, never finds a lonely princess. The family may also be to blame for this perception, they believe, where the girl was instilled with narcissism from early childhood - she is the best and deserves the best. These causes of loneliness are rare in life in pure form. As a rule, they are mixed with each other in different proportions. But a sober look at oneself and self-correction of some character traits will allow not to program fate for loneliness, but simply to become happy wife and mom!Nowadays, more and more girls get married by the age of 25-30. I myself met my betrothed at the age of 24. I remember how hard it was to wait for your fate. What if it doesn't come true? Suddenly big and real love won't happen. It's scary to be alone. Anxiety greatly overshadows life, makes a girl nervous, spoils her character, leads to the appearance of various kinds of diseases. And this reduces the chances of attracting a worthy person. It turns out a vicious circle. I will write about the signs that say that the meeting with the future spouse is close. All stories are absolutely real: either happened to me and my friends, or taken from thematic forums.
1. Find flowers.
If you suddenly get flowers in your hands, perhaps this is more than a pleasant surprise. There is such a sign that finding flowers is for marriage. Here is one great story:
“Last year, lilacs bloomed in our yard, it was, in my opinion, the end of May. Such a beautiful tree stood, walking with the dog, I always admired it, but it was somehow embarrassing to tear off a branch, it seemed like a common property of the yard. And once again, Senya and I came closer, I think, at least I can smell the lilacs. And what do you think, right under the tree there were 3 evenly broken, fresh, fluffy branches, of course, I picked them up, wondering how great my wish came true, and went home, all happy. I bring lilacs, and my mother says: “Well, you will get married soon.” Allegedly, on TV they talked about such a sign that finding flowers is for marriage. I didn't get too carried away because spinster under forty years old, with two loans. What kind of lilac will help here! Not a single man was in sight. Well, here is the result, after those twigs everything started spinning and spinning in my personal life, a man appeared and on February 16, 2013 I got married. So find flowers - for marriage! Maybe soon there will be three of us, like those branches.
2. A plucked branch will bloom for Christmas (old fortune-telling)
This is an old fortune teller. On a certain day (December 6, on the eve of the feast of St. Catherine, or on Epiphany), the girls went to someone else's garden, where they secretly broke off a cherry branch. She had to be brought home and put into the water. And then we watched what would happen. It was believed that the girl would get married within a year if the leaves appeared on the branch by Christmas. If the leaves appear later (after Christmas), this means that you will have to wait, but the groom will definitely come. If flowers appear in addition to leaves, this means that the girl will not only get married this year, but will also have time to become a mother. If there are no leaves at all, marriage is not expected in the near future. If the leaves do not have time to appear, but are "on the way", the wedding is likely by the end of the year.
I'm sure you can bring home any branch of the tree you like and see what happens. One should not take such divinations too seriously, although they can be surprisingly accurate. On my wedding day, my mother, when we stopped at my father-in-law's house on the way, broke off a small offshoot of a houseplant they liked. She remembered about him 3 days later, when he was already quite wilted. And yet I decided to plant it. “If it takes root, the daughter’s marriage will work out,” she thought, and was frightened by such thoughts. As a result, the stunted leaf grew into such a lush half-meter bush that it had to be planted outside. There was little room for him on the windowsill. We have been together for 15 years, we have 3 wonderful children.
“Fortune-telling about cherries is correct, verified on myself. Only it needs to be broken out (cut off with scissors) at Epiphany, January 19th. We pour water from the tap and put it in a vase and wait. Blooms - to marry within a year. I had so much fun for 10 years - it doesn’t bloom even burst. Maximum kidneys swell and all. And then she blossomed with flowers, but not one. I think that's it, yeah, now. Already December has come, where to wait further, and then a chance meeting, called up from the summer, though ... Since December, together. Civil marriage. She's shocked how it happened. In January, it broke again and the flowers bloomed again. In March, they gave me a ring. I won’t guess this year, so everything is clear.”
3. Dreams with dead ancestors.
The meeting with the betrothed and the wedding determine what our future life and destiny, the life and destiny of our children will be like. Important turning points often seem to cast a shadow. We can foresee imminent change. Sometimes premonitions hidden from our awareness manifest themselves in the form of prophetic dreams. On one of the forums I read this story:
“A year before I met my husband, I dreamed about my grandfather. In a dream, he came to visit me with his mother, whom I only know from photographs. They whispered about something, then my grandfather twisted and turned me in all directions, examined me appraisingly, and he and my great-grandmother began to comb my hair and weave braids. And in parting they gave a comb and a belt. When I told my mother, she immediately said: “To the wedding!” And it did come true."
4. Strangles brownie
People say that the brownie drives out of the house. This is how very unpleasant experiences are explained when a girl experiences sensations while half asleep:
“At night, I lie on my back and, as it were, in some kind of half-asleep, but I do not sleep. I feel that some kind of heaviness is leaning on my chest and as if a stream of warm air is blowing on me. I try to get up, but I can’t, my arms and legs don’t move either, like I’m paralyzed. I hear that my mother is snoring behind the wall, and I try to call her, but I can’t. I scream inside, but no sound comes out of my mouth. And most importantly, I'm not scared too much. No, it's scary, of course, but not so terrifying. And then the first thing that came to my mind was to say: “Lord, help me!” All. Everything was released immediately. I open my eyes, no one.
“It was January 19 at the Baptism of Christ in 1999. That's when I was SO SCARY. I sleep, my sister and dad sleep in their rooms at home. Our corridor is letter G, at the end is my room. Suddenly I wake up, it’s dark, I opened my eyes, I was lying straight on my back, suddenly I hear from the very beginning of the corridor, approaching my room, someone sweeps with a broom. My first thought: “Has Grandma come to help Mom again? Did you go crazy sweeping at night? And then I understand: this cannot be, and in general the grandmother is at home !!! And the noise is getting closer. I want to scream “Grandma”, but like a fish I open my mouth, but there is no voice. I yell with all my strength, but there is no voice. Then someone jumped on me and crushed me. There was a feeling of numbness. I can't make any movement. This lasted for 15-20 seconds, let go. I turn my head towards the door, and there is like an aura or a soul. An oval, as white as a mist, as tall as a man. I watched this for a second, then I jumped up, turned on the light, ran to my dad and for some reason said: “The brownie came to me.” And my mother’s friend said: “Your daughter was swept out of the house, she will get married, leave you.” Surprisingly, it all worked out that way. Soon I met my future husband, and we began to live separately.
Personally, more than once I heard the stories of my friends about such incomprehensible and frightening nightly incidents. One of them was already under 30, home-work, as usual. There were no signs of change in fate. Here, apparently, the kind Grandfather decided to help, he scared a little. A friend somehow immediately realized that water does not flow under a lying stone, you need to start looking for a husband. Posted ads on a dating site. The betrothed was immediately found. Married after 3 months happy marriage, remarkable children, already grow up.
Divination by date of birth: find out how your fate will turn out
Numerology- an ancient mystical science that studies the energy of numbers and its impact on human life. Anyone who is interested in this knowledge can conduct fortune-telling by date of birth for the future, adding up the numbers that form the date. So you can find out about your destiny, about love compatibility, about the marriage prepared for you and the number of children.
All calculations are very simple, even a first grader can handle them.
Destiny Number Calculation
To start mastering the principles of numerology, let's do a simple divination by date of birth and year of birth, which will show the number of your destiny. Let's consider this calculation in detail on a conditional example.
Let's say you were born on October 30, 1990. Write your date of birth in a similar format: 10/30/1990.
Now add up all the numbers you see. 3+0+1+0+1+9+9+0 = 23.
If you get a two-digit number, keep adding the visible numbers until you get a result from 1 to 9. In the example, 2+3 = 5.
This is your destiny number, which determines the basis of your personality. Other numbers present in your date of birth describe character traits that are less pronounced.
In our example, these are the numbers 1,3,9, and 2 is weakly expressed. The qualities inherent in the numbers that are not in the calculation are not inherent in you from birth, they can be acquired only by long and hard work on yourself.
Destiny Number Values
1. The number of bright personalities. You are a born leader and know how to lead people. Easily become the soul of the company and win sympathy. Higher powers allowed you to pass a lot of energy through yourself, take care of this gift. Without understanding that all people on earth are equal and deserve love, it's easy to catch a "star fever" and start pushing people away with inflated self-esteem.
2. The number of people with a gentle character. You do not like conflicts, preferring to yield in disputes, adjusting to the interlocutor. Family and friends appreciate you, and you are always happy to help them, but self-serving people can easily use you for their own purposes. You rarely change something in your life, more often you adapt to circumstances that do not suit you. You are attracted to spirituality and love children.
3. The number of optimists. In everything you see first of all the positive side. You have a lot of energy that you use to improve your destiny and help others. You prefer to take responsibility and be an activist in any area of life.
4. The number of rebels. Your mission is to break what does not lead to good and good, to rid other people of what is unnecessary and obsolete. Being a “revolutionary” in life is your essence, and no one has the right to reproach you for it. If you feel that your intervention will help in some situation, do not hesitate to get down to business. But remember about self-control, such a gift can develop into a desire to contradict any rules.
5. Number of experimenters. Your creative nature immediately distinguishes you from a series of banal people who live only for work and family. You love traveling, learning new things, experimenting with looks and clothes. Everything that you undertake, goes well in your hands easily and quickly. However, you are easily discouraged when, for some reason, your life becomes banal. Only a new idea can bring you back to your usual state.
6. Number of choleric people. In your nature - defiant behavior and a tendency to tantrums. Remember that everything that the higher powers endow us with, they do for some purpose, a secret for people. Live in peace with your character, accept and love yourself for who you are. The people who are meant for you will always be there, if you lost someone because of your character, then it was meant to be.
7. The number of philosophers. You like to reflect on how life works. It will be easy for you to realize yourself in any work related to mental work. However, it can be difficult for you to relate to people, as your mind outweighs your feelings. Read books on psychology to better understand others and make it easier to connect with them.
8. Number of singles. You are prone to introversion, isolation and coldness. You have a need to create your own little world, subordinate only to you. However, deep down you need warmth and support from other people. You are destined to find a few good friends with whom you will be comfortable, but an active social life is not for you.
9. Number of leaders. You were born to rule other people. You are hardworking and love to be an organizer, you look to the future and confidently go towards your goals, achieving success in any business. Having the right to judge other people, you tend to objectivity and impartiality, the principle of "to each according to his deserts."
Calculation for relationships
Having mastered the methodology for calculating the number of fate, you can conduct fortune-telling for compatibility by date of birth. To do this, under a plausible pretext, find out the date of birth of your chosen one, the exact year is especially important, because it happens that young men add years to themselves, and girls become younger. Knowing both dates of birth, you can calculate compatibility for a couple. Let's look at this again with an example.
Let's say that girl with a date of birth of 10/30/1990 met a guy with a date of birth of 07/19/1996. Add together the numbers from both dates: 3+0+1+0+1+9+9+0+1+9+0+7+1+9+9+6=65
Favorable numbers for Serious relationships are 2, 3, 5, 6, 10, 14, 17, 19, 21. It may be worth breaking up with a partner if you get 9, 12, 13, 15, 16, 18 and 22. The future of couples with numbers 1, 4, 7, 8, 11, 14, 22 are completely in your hands.
Interpretation
1. Love is war. Partners will always compete because everyone wants to be the leader in the relationship. It is very difficult for such a couple to find harmony.
2. The perfect couple. You fit together like two halves of one whole. Such couples often live up to a golden wedding, maintaining love and tenderness for many years.
3. Ideal lovers. You are well suited to each other in bed, and your union is based on romance.
4. Relationships are unstable and may fall apart due to the influence of outsiders. However, they can also lead to the creation of a family - everything is in your hands. Listen to your partner, respect him, look for more interests in order to save the union.
5. Patriarchy. Relations are similar to those described in Domostroy. Constant jealousy on the part of a man, a desire to take control. Frequent scandals. Decide, do you need it?
6. Misalliance. Partners are not the same. Sometimes it can be seen outwardly - a man or woman is several decades older. But more often it is a union of people who have completely different ideas about life. People say about such couples “opposites attract”. The karmic goal of this connection is the mutual development of two souls, teaching a different point of view, acquiring new experience.
7. Strong family. These relationships are built on mutual understanding and respect. But there is a danger of losing love, at first a strong feeling will turn into a habit over the years, marriage will be based on children and common life. Unfortunately, many people live like this.
8. Companions. Such a union rests on the common hobbies of a man and a woman. They might be colleagues, or love to travel, or meet at a stamp collecting club meeting. Partners support each other, and both strive to develop in their occupation.
9. Partners. Unfortunately, love in this pair will be short-lived. But a common cause can unite you as friends for years to come.
10. Individuality. This union will not work out to the end. At the energy level, a man and a woman will not merge into a single whole, each will remain with their own goals and objectives. In the eyes of secular society, such a family will be complete, but many, subconsciously feeling karmic incompatibility, continue to look for a partner for themselves, which leads to betrayal.
11. Fragile relationships. You and your partner are suitable for each other and in time you can start a family. However, such a marriage is unstable to external circumstances and can easily fall apart due to damage to relationships or domestic problems. Knowing this, be tolerant of your spouse, choose dialogue instead of quarrel.
12. Union of egoists. Both partners are not inclined to give in to each other and compromise even in small things. As a rule, these relationships do not last long.
13. The need for sacrifice. These couples are connected by true love, but sooner or later a moment arises when one of the partners must sacrifice something important in order to preserve the union. For example, a man will work 12 hours a day so that there is enough money for children, or a woman will be forced to move to her husband's city, leaving her parents and friends behind.
14. Unfavorable number. The couple will be breaking up soon.
15. Stormy passions. A couple are waiting for hot quarrels and reconciliation, how long this will last depends on the patience of both. Lies. One of the partners is hiding something. These can be children from a previous marriage, infidelity, facts about their past. Insincerity leaves a crack in the couple's energy field, so the union is easily destroyed by outside influence. But it is better not to develop these relations at the very beginning.
16. An affair. One partner is not serious about the other. Even if it comes to marriage, it will soon fall apart. But such couples are well compatible in bed.
17. Loneliness. Couples are unable to complement each other in order to become one. Everyone notices that something is missing in the relationship, and people soon disperse.
18. Matriarchy. In a relationship main woman, it is she who makes all the major decisions, and the future of the union depends on her desire. With excessive pressure, a man either becomes henpecked, or begins to lead a double life, releasing his personality outside the family hearth.
19. Movement. Partners will push each other to develop and explore the world together. The future of the relationship is entirely in their hands.
20. Family nest. Tender and long relationship. In such marriages, many children are born, and the spouses remain together until old age.
21. Exam. A couple will face many difficulties at the stage of getting to know each other and grinding to each other. But partners will overcome all conflicts and external circumstances, the marriage will be strong and long.
22. Unpredictability. Fate will test this couple all the time. If your partner is really dear to you, get ready for life like a powder keg.
When I get married?
Surely, after the previous fortune-telling, this question interested you. Again, numerology will help. We will conduct fortune-telling for marriage by date of birth.
Your destiny number will come in handy again. Find it in the list below and see what numbers of the year it corresponds to.
1.
1,4,5,7
2.
1,5,6,8
3.
3,6,7,9
4.
1,4,7,8
5.
2,5,7,9
6.
1,3,6,9
7.
1,2,4,8
8.
1,2,6,8
9.
2,3,6,7
The number of the year is calculated simply, for example 2017=2+0+1+7 = 10 = 1. Find 1 in the right half of the list above. This means that women with fate numbers 1,2,4,6,7,8 can get married this year.
Here are the numbers calculated for the next ten years
2017 = 1
2018 = 2
2019 = 3
2020 = 4
2021 = 5
2022 = 6
2023 = 7
2024 = 8
2025 = 9
2026 = 1
That is, a woman with a destiny number of 5 is most likely to get married in 2017 or 2021. Compare lists, find favorable years for yourself, but remember that everything is in your hands.
You will not be sent an invitation to your own wedding if you sit within four walls and do not meet men.,
How many children will there be?
And numerology knows the answer to this question. Divination by date of birth for future motherhood is very simple. Count all your brothers and sisters, both relatives and half-siblings, and even adopted ones. Add them to your destiny number.
Let's say a girl with a destiny number of 5 has a paternal half-brother and an adopted sister. Then 5+2=7. If you get more than 10, add the numbers again.
Find the number you got in the list:
1.
as much as you can save. If you wish, you can even become a mother of many children, but trials await you during pregnancy and in the first years of a baby's life. Therefore, if you want many children, you should take care of your health now.
2.
one child. Don't be discouraged if you want more. In this case, you will have to show the higher powers that you will be a good mother - choose worthy man, solve material issues in the family, raise the first child in love and care.
3.
as much as you want, but not immediately. Perhaps you are waiting for a long search for a suitable father, or the need for treatment, or other circumstances will prevent you from having children. All tests are sent for the good, for your development, you will definitely become a mother when you come to this.
4.
two, a boy and a girl. Ideal option, right?
5.
high chance of having twins. Or you will have at least two children, either gender.
6.
several children from different fathers. Try to grow them with the same amount of warmth and attention to each.
7.
having children is not your priority. You will become childfree or give birth to one late child. This is your path and no one has the right to condemn you, everyone has their own karma. If you want to change fate, read about the number 2.
8.
you are destined to become a foster mother. You can have as many native children as you like, your duty is to give warmth not only to your baby. This does not have to be implemented by adoption, you can, for example, become a second mother to your nephews, or choose a job related to children - a teacher, a nanny, an instructor in a playground.
9.
two children of either gender.
Conclusion
- Remember that numerology tells you about a destiny that was destined before birth. But our destiny is half the sum of what is given to us, and half of our conscious actions performed day by day.
- A person's life is not spelled out like a book, from the title to the epilogue. The destiny destined for you before birth is a plan for a future masterpiece, a script, a list of chapters, in which the Creator easily makes adjustments as it is written. Everything depends on your business.
Hello dear readers of Samprosvetbulletin!
“The psychologist didn’t help me get married, although maybe just an inept specialist got caught. I do not believe in this psychology and despaired of marriage. I read your blog, I like it, but so far nothing has changed, ”- Olga wrote to me.
Also, my attention was drawn by my despair to the comment to the article "" from Inna, who is sure that a psychologist cannot help to get married.
Similar questions come to me from other readers.
“I am unlucky in love, and what will a psychologist do? I have no fetters, I am successful, I have a career, full of interests, charming, I have so many friends, young people go crazy, but as soon as I enter, they begin to fall apart after a fairly short time. And I have the same unfortunate girlfriends, beautiful, successful, just a miracle. And the uninteresting, not very pretty girlfriends managed to get married and are happy. Natasha writes.
Indeed, I come across in consultations that some clients who are disappointed in love draw erroneous conclusions.
Erroneous Beliefs
1. There is a fate, if you are not destined to get married, then no psychologists will help
We analyzed in detail how our understanding of fate affects our personal life →.
Self-fulfilling prophecy
And now I want to dwell on the phenomenon of self-fulfilling prophecy, which was described by sociologist Robert Merton back in 1948 and confirmed by experiments.
The fact is that our expectations, beliefs are reflected in our actions, reactions and interpretations of the behavior of others. A false definition of a situation causes a new behavior that changes reality so that the erroneous concept begins to come true. If we are convinced of the correctness of some information, then we involuntarily behave in such a way that it receives confirmation.
For example, if we expect bad things, then our expectations are manifested in behavior. Directly or indirectly, we provoke a certain situation by our actions. And our “prophecies” are starting to come true.
As a psychologist, I have to deal with this phenomenon all the time. For example, a client comes and begins to tell that everything is bad, there are few men, over forty and there is no hope of getting married, unlucky, bad fate or, as some say, karma, because mother, grandmother, great-grandmother were not lucky ... And indeed, these beliefs are gradually embodied in reality, introducing the unfortunate into even greater despair. At the same time, other women with similar conditions and from the same regions marry successfully even after 50!
The phenomenon of self-fulfilling prophecies can be both harmful and beneficial. You can program yourself to fail, or you can program yourself to succeed. After all, believing in success is half the battle. Only those who do not give up achieve what they want!
I know very well that there are difficult circumstances when you just have to survive, endure lack of opportunities, inappropriate environments, from which it is difficult to get out and it is difficult to spread your wings and convince yourself that finding happiness is real. And this is where psychology comes to the rescue, offering proven methods of overcoming difficulties, increasing one's potential, developing abilities, and achieving goals in any conditions.
2. The psychologist is useless, and psychology is complete nonsense that does not help!
Usually, this is said by those who have not tried to use psychological knowledge or have done it incorrectly and inconsistently. Psychology is not magic, and a psychologist is not a magician, here, as in sports, methodicalness, constancy and gradualness are important.
For example, if you only work with positive thinking, without taking other steps towards achieving the goal, then little will change. Or if you think positively, actively get acquainted, but do not correct the behavioral errors that block your opportunities, then there will be no result. Or apply knowledge for a couple of days, and then say, no, this is nonsense, it means not understanding that everything needs time to develop and it is necessary to make efforts for some time.
A psychologist will be really useless for you if you think that he will wave a magic wand and you will get married.
Psychologist action plan how to get married
I would like to bring to fruition a plan that we somehow drew up with one of my clients, who for a long time could not meet her lover and get married.
1) Create the right attitude and develop your own program of action to attract the desired partner. Material for work: → Master class "Attraction methods that helped me attract a loved one into my life".
2) Test your mistakes in the past and correct them. Material for work: → Training “7 Mistakes that prevent you from getting married. A quick test of problem areas. Fix it, check it, get married."
3) Correctly choose candidates and test them for "suitability" in the first hours of acquaintance. Material for work: → Training "What does a man need to make him want to marry you".
4) Learn how to properly communicate and behave with the opposite sex. Our manner of communication and behavior can reinforce the feelings that have arisen and develop the relationship further, or they can, on the contrary, force the partner to close. Material for work: → Training "How to communicate with a man, 5 secret buttons that every woman should know" .
By the way, I once went through this plan myself and very successfully. Consistent use of the above materials really helps.
I recently received a letter from a client of mine who went through this plan.
On the other hand, in my club Samprosvet, there are participants who for the second year cannot go through one training program and deal with their situation. We communicate nicely in consultations and online classes, there is an understanding of what is happening, but no real cases. There are always excuses: I’ll start on Monday, I’m not in the mood, it’s hard to try new things, I work, I get tired, I don’t have time, and so on.
It is not enough to know, it is necessary to apply it in practice, every day to move in small steps towards the goal. Sometimes there are periods of laziness and stagnation, I myself have to deal with this when I don’t feel like writing articles, answering letters, playing sports, learning new things. But then you overcome laziness and you feel better.
3. There are simply more women than men, someone must be left without a partner.
Expand your search area
I agree that there are regions where, according to statistics, there are more women of a certain age than representatives of the stronger sex. But let's try to go beyond the boundaries of our region, city, region and look at the whole world. If you live in a place where there is a shortage of gentlemen, why not expand your search area?
Don't sit back, passively waiting to be noticed and selected. Make yourself as visible as possible more candidates, give them a chance to notice you. Use dating sites, marriage agencies, ask your friends to introduce you to new people.
The power of a smile
So one of my clients met her future husband at the airport. I gave her the task of smiling at young people and if a conversation arises, say that I saw them in a dream today ...
A pleasant stranger was waiting for the plane in the opposite direction and sat in her field of vision. Starting to look at him and smile when their eyes met, she did not expect that this handsome guy would come up to her and ask: “do we know each other?”.
The prepared phrase about sleep came in handy. A conversation began and new acquaintances exchanged phone numbers, boarded different planes, and endless communication began on wats'up, then frequent meetings and, as a result, a wedding.
Later, my client told him that she did not see him in a dream, but did as the psychologist advised her. Since then, her chosen one sends greetings to me. In fact future husband also immediately drew attention to her, but did not dare to approach and get acquainted, but her smile gave him courage.
4. It is foolish to hope that one day the right person will appear if this has not happened for many years.
If you are convinced that there is no person in the whole world who would suit you and could love you, you will never meet anyone.
I have a friend, a successful and quite attractive gentleman who, after a divorce, has been single for a long time. Friends appear, but then disappear somewhere. From time to time, he calls me and asks me to introduce him to someone, adding at the same time: “although probably a suitable person for me simply does not exist.” In principle, he does nothing to change the situation, he is afraid to take risks and make efforts. And there are many such people.
Having experienced pain and disappointment, we are often afraid of getting burned, we do not want to take risks. To avoid new relationships, we overestimate the requirements for a partner and block new acquaintances with passivity and arrogance. It's easier to give excuses for your loneliness: there is no suitable partner and that's it.
And finally, the answer to the question: do psychologists help to get married. From my practice, I realized that the main thing - desire change your reality. No psychologists will help if you do not take concrete steps to improve the situation. Psychology is just a convenient tool for achieving results. But this tool needs your desire and will.
Good luck and see you soon on the pages of Samprosvetbulletin!
All your friends have been in a relationship for a long time, get married, have children, and you don’t even really meet anyone and wonder what’s wrong with me, why can't i get married? At first it did not bother me much, but the years go by, and nothing changes. You stop enjoying life and get upset every time another friend reports that she has been proposed. The situation can drag on for a long time, so even in 30-35 years things will not get off the ground.
Why can't a woman get married?
What is the reason? Why can't a woman get married??
And the reason is very simple. And it’s not that you don’t engage in self-development or somehow behave in a wrong way. Or so obsessed with the thought of marriage that you can’t think about anything else. It's not about that. More precisely, not quite in this. The reason is that thoughts are material, and you send the wrong request to the Universe, and it does not respond in the way you need. From year to year you think “I want a husband and children, children and a husband, a family” - no specifics! What husband? Who should be the husband? First of all, it should be the person you love. Even not who loves you is already the second. The very first message to the Universe - I want to fall in love, fall in love, meet a loved one, marry .... And here is the stop. These are 2 different goals. Because you can fall in love with a person who does not marry you, or, conversely, marry a person who is not very beloved. The universe is confused and does not know what task to perform. Moreover, you are so obsessed with the fact that the task has long been the same - to get married. There are no words about love - of course, this is a matter of course, but it should not be so. There must be a correctly formulated, complete thought. And with your “I want to get married”, the Universe sends you faceless potential good husbands, which you don't even notice, because there are no features in them that could attract you. They just pass you by in droves, just like your years. And you still send the same request and pour from empty to empty.
Stop! Your main desire should be to fall passionately in love. Dot. Throw all thoughts out of your head, open your eyes and "chakras", open up to the world and meet the person to whom you will be drawn. When you meet, start a relationship - no thoughts about marriage and any future in general should be in your head. Everything in turn. Your girlfriends also did not receive an offer out of the blue from the first person they met - at first there was an acquaintance and falling in love. You also need to go through this mandatory step. Thoughts of marriage and family are premature without him. Even if you are 35 years old. If you try to jump over this stage in your head, you will never succeed.
Why can't a pretty girl get married?
Causes, why can't a pretty girl get married, lie approximately in the same plane as in relation to other girls. Of course, it can be argued that the beautiful have more demands and they spend time waiting for the prince, but this is only one of the reasons and not the main one.
The second reason: beauty is nothing if you do not know how to present it correctly. For real beautiful girls that disarm at first sight are very few. But beauty is not just about looks. This is also the knowledge of how to “frame” this appearance. Great amount beautiful actresses are lonely or unhappy in love because their beauty is "empty".
The third reason: beauty and attractiveness are two different things. You can be beautiful like a Madonna from images, but you will only be admired from afar. Men are attracted to sexuality. Do not confuse with depravity! And a virgin can be sexy.
The fourth reason: everything in a woman loses value, including beauty, when she is conquered or really wants to achieve a man.
Read more about the influence of a beautiful appearance on happiness in your personal life.
Why do some people not get married?
And yet it happens that not everyone manages to build family happiness. There are a number of other reasons why do some people not get married at all. Oddly enough, the main one is a hidden reluctance to actually be married. Everyone who wanted to get married, all sooner or later there. Think about this phrase literally. When the main thing is the stamp in the passport, then the rest is secondary - the appearance, age, "quality" of a man. Therefore, “getting married is not a problem” - there is such a saying. But in the mind of many women it is not so. They just don't want a marriage like this. This key moment. There is an internal substitution - I want to get married, but at the same time I do not want for those who are nearby. First, meet right person. It's not always easy. Some people need one thing, some people need something else. Until the puzzle is assembled according to all the necessary parameters, there will be no picture. But waiting can disappoint, depress and lead to the thought that there is no such person for me. And even worse - to throw in extremes and build relationships with completely inappropriate, which leaves pain and despair in the soul. They, in turn, reduce the chances, because a person is more focused on internal experiences than on the ability to discern a potential partner.
Remember the stories about how women quickly got married after they relaxed and said “not destiny, but oh well.” How they fell in love with each other literally immediately after they decided that this would not happen in their lives. The main thing is not to get hung up on age. And then many write - I'm already 37! So what? What does it affect? The fact that infantiles who “love” a young body under 20 will disappear. So this is even a plus!
