Causes of crying newborn how to calm. How to calm a newborn baby when he is crying

The restless sleep of children in the first months of life is perhaps the most exhausting test for parents of newborns. The child does not sleep well in a month, and at two, and at three, and there is no end in sight. How to put the child to sleep with a guarantee? Dr. Harvey reminds you that there is a soothing reflex in the first weeks and months of life - and teaches you how to use it if your baby is often crying and crying.

The calming reflex in a child of the first months of life turns on only when we accurately recreate the sensations that he experienced in the womb. There are 4 tricks that allow you to perfectly mimic the conditions in the mother's womb, here they are:

1. Swaddling.
2. The sound "SH-SH-SH" - or loud, rumbling white noise.
3. Rocking.
4. Sucking - your breast, your clean finger, bottle or pacifier.

These techniques not only appeal to children, they give them a feeling of incredible calm and serenity. Use them when the child starts to worry or when it is time for him to sleep.

The key to the soothing reflex is to find the right combination of techniques that is right for your child. So let's look at these techniques one by one.

First step: swaddling

During pregnancy, your little treasure is inside a tight ball for several months. But after birth, the sudden absence of the uterine walls that hold it back allows the baby to turn its handles like windmills, hit itself in the face... and wake up the whole house.

The diaper does not allow children to wake up after each twitch and flinch. For many children, swaddling does not have an immediate calming effect, but it does prevent them from waving their arms and hitting themselves. And after you add one or two more steps to swaddling, the baby will suddenly turn on the calming reflex and he will be able to fall asleep with a sweet dream.

Be aware that many babies resist being swaddled. They fight with the diaper and scream, they clearly do not like all this. However, the kids love it. And they'll be happy to be swaddled if we keep doing it... coupled with a few more moves done right.

Safe swaddling:

• Use a large (approximately 110 cm) square diaper or a ready-made swaddling bag.
• A baby wrapped in a diaper should only sleep on its back!
• Make sure your baby is neither hot nor cold. At a comfortable temperature, his ears are warm, not cold and not hot (and red), and his neck does not sweat.
• Swaddle only during daytime, nighttime sleep and periods of anxiety (not twenty-four hours a day!).

Does swaddling damage baby's hip joints?

Old swaddling techniques (where the legs were straightened so that the baby could not move them) could lead to the hip joint. But with the modern method of "wide" swaddling, there is no such risk, provided that you leave enough space for the hips.

The International Hip Dysplasia Institute says swaddling is safe if the baby can bend the knees and spread the hips.

If I swaddle my baby with arms, won't he be able to suck his thumb and learn to soothe himself?

While in the womb, babies suck on their thumbs because, in the limited space of their mother's belly, their hands are right next to their mouths. But after birth, the handles begin to scatter in all directions, and when the baby tries to suck his finger, they fall into the mouth, then into the nose, and sometimes into the eye!

While you're awake, you can let your little angel practice thumbsucking... but you don't want him to accidentally hit himself in his sleep and wake up. I recommend that during the daytime and at night, his sucking needs be met with a pacifier and his handles wrapped in a diaper for at least the first four months.

Can swaddling interfere with breastfeeding?

Breastfeeding is harmed by the fatigue of the mother and the cries of the baby. Therefore, the ability to calm crying baby and to improve his sleep will benefit breastfeeding and certainly will not interfere with him.

However, for the first week or two, some swaddled babies sleep so soundly that they have to be awakened every two hours during the day (and every four or five hours at night) to feed.

The second technique: "sh-sh-sh" - the sound of silence

The loud sound of "shhhh" on a small child has a calming and relaxing effect. Why? Remember that the sound they constantly heard in the womb was louder than the buzzing of the included vacuum cleaner!

So the silence in the room, which we think is necessary for rest, actually drives babies crazy. To activate the soothing reflex when a baby cries, you need a low, rumbling, hissing sound that is as loud as the baby's cry. You can simply bend over the baby’s ear and say loudly: “Sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh.”

After the child has calmed down, reduce the white noise level to about the volume of water pouring from the shower (65-70 decibels) so that the calming reflex remains on.

Just like swaddling, white noise should not be used twenty-four hours a day. Turn it on when the baby cries, as well as during daytime and nighttime sleep (set the recording in advance, in the background, before going to bed).

I recommend using CDs mobile applications and mp3 recordings with your baby's favorite white noise, and not special sound-reproducing devices. What's also great about CDs and digital recordings is that you can choose the sound that works best and adjust its volume.

How to choose sounds as close as possible to those heard by unborn children? To understand what your baby heard in the womb, try this little experiment.

Turn on the water in the bathroom at full power. Do you hear that loud, sharp, high-pitched sound? And now, when the bath is almost full, climb into it and put your head under the water. Have you noticed that the sound has become much lower and deeper?

This deep sound here is close to what babies hear in the womb. That is why the maximum effect on them is not sharp hissing sounds, but rumbling, low ones. It is these sounds that are needed so that the child sleeps better, and at the same time - you yourself!

Can white noise harm a child's hearing?

There is no evidence of any negative effect of white noise (as loud as water in the shower) on a child's hearing. Do not forget that in the womb, the baby heard much louder sounds around the clock for several months.

The main thing to remember is that white noise should be used only during periods of sleep and increased anxiety. The rest of the time, the baby's hearing should be tuned to the sounds that are usual for your home.

Third technique: motion sickness

Every evening, battalions of zombie parents get into cars and drive around the city - while diligently looking for speed bumps and hoping that this shaking will help the children fall asleep. Their children calm down only during movement. Rocking chairs, baby slings, gymnastic balls and swings for newborns are necessary tools in order to calm these little lovers of moving and shaking.

The undoubted advantage of a swing for newborns is that it gives parents a little freedom, and the children provide the calming movement that they need during daytime and nighttime sleep. But important use them correctly.

• Only use swings with a retractable backrest... and a fully retractable one at that! A small child is not yet strong enough to sit. His neck may bend, making it very difficult for him to breathe. The back of the swing should drop to a horizontal position.
• Check with your doctor before using the swing. This is especially true for children with weak necks (those who are not yet a month old, premature or children with neurological problems that cause muscle weakness - what doctors call).
• Be sure to swaddle your baby and strap it in properly (don't forget to put the strap between your legs).
• Choose a high swing speed. It may seem too high to you, but believe me - it's completely safe. Motion sickness at low speed is ineffective when it is necessary to turn on the calming reflex in a child who loves movement.
• Protect your baby from uninvited guests. Jumping dogs and restless toddlers who already know how to walk can overturn the swing, so if there are any in the house, in no case leave a swinging baby unattended.

Fourth technique: sucking

But this does not mean that it is the last to be used. On the contrary, in most cases, the first thing you need to do is to hold the baby in your arms and offer him the breast.

The process of sucking and mother's milk not only give him a feeling of pleasant satiety, but also contribute to the production of endorphin (the body's natural drug), cause a surge of tryptophan (an amino acid that induces sleep) and, of course, trigger the calming reflex.

What about pacifiers? The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends putting babies to sleep with a pacifier at night. When offering a pacifier to your baby, try not to harm him. You need to do this:

• Buy clear silicone pacifiers, not yellow latex ones. Yellow latex nipples become sticky and deteriorate over time, and can also release microscopic doses of harmful chemicals.
• Never dip a pacifier in syrup or honey. This can cause a childhood - potentially fatal disease.
• Wash your pacifier with soap and water every day. Never put a pacifier in your mouth to clean it yourself. So you can accidentally infect the baby and even.
• Never hang a pacifier around your baby's neck. The rope can wrap tightly around his fingers (obstructing blood circulation) or his neck (causing the risk of strangulation).

Breastfeeding mothers often worry about: "Will the nipple interfere with breastfeeding?"

Many babies can successfully suck on anything you put in their mouths. But for some children breastfeeding so-called "nipple confusion" develops if they are given bottles or pacifiers before they are fully adjusted to the mother's breast.

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They fed, reviled the column, changed the diaper, gave a remedy for colic, massaged the tummy, applied a heating pad, shook it on the handles, offered a pacifier, sang lullabies, and your baby continues to cry? If you are convinced that the child is full, he is not cold and not hot, his tummy does not hurt, then it's time to look for other methods of calming.

website knows how difficult it is for modern parents to navigate the sea of ​​conflicting information that is full of the Internet, and therefore he has collected for you proven methods of calming babies from famous pediatricians and unknown, but smart parents.

Hamilton support

Paediatrician with 30 years of experience Robert Hamilton has developed a simple and effective method, which works best for babies up to 3 months, that is, just at the age when the baby is worried about colic. Nobody forbids using this method further, it will just be more difficult to hold it with the growing weight of the child.

The method is quite simple: you need to cross the arms of the baby on the chest, clasp your hand on top, and lift the baby with the other, placing your hand between the legs. In this position, the baby needs to be gently rocked up and down or from side to side - and he will quickly calm down. Don't believe? look video.

Harvey Karp Method

Pediatrician Harvey Karp bases his method of soothing babies on recreating for the baby the sensations it experienced in the womb. The technique includes 5 steps:

1. Swaddling, because the womb was crowded.
2. Laying the baby on his side or on his tummy on his arm.
3. The sound of "shhh" or white noise.
4. The slight up and down rocking he felt in his stomach as his mother walked.
5. Sucking is optional, but desirable.

White noise and more

When an adult turns on the sound of white noise, it is difficult for him to imagine how one can fall asleep under this. But in fact, white noise itself, and any monotonous hissing sounds really have a calming effect and help you fall asleep.

You can play the sound “shhhh” yourself or look for options in special applications: the sounds of a hair dryer, vacuum cleaner, washing machine, fan, waterfall and even trains.

Soothing foot massage

The baby goes into hysterics and cries so loudly that the neighbors below are already starting to knock on the radiator, and are you ready to cry with him? No panic! There may be very good reasons for a baby to cry. In this article, we will tell you what happens to a child who screams and how to calm him down. The main thing - do not ignore the children's tantrum, no matter what provoked it. Especially close attention should be paid to babies up to a year old: after all, they still don’t talk, so only with the help of a cry can they “tell” their mother about what worries them. If you take crying baby in your arms and console him, you will not spoil him at all.

1. The baby is hurt

Babies are often disturbed and very painful. If this is the reason for the child's hysteria, then the baby screams loudly and piercingly, blushes, knocks with his feet.

Perhaps the baby is in pain because he has - in this case, the crying will be constant, “aching”, while the child will pull everything into his mouth.

Sometimes babies develop otitis media as a complication of intrauterine infection. In this case, the children cry piercingly, non-stop, and from time to time there are desperate cries.

Solution to the problem: observe the condition of the child, attach it to the chest, wash with warm water. If the crying gets louder, call an ambulance. Perhaps the child really needs the help of a doctor, but you yourself will not be able to make a diagnosis anyway.

2. He wants to eat

A common cause of a child's tantrum is that the baby is hungry. It may seem to adults that the child should be full, because he ate just an hour ago. It’s not for nothing that pediatricians recommend “feeding on demand.” Newborn babies may want to eat again even half an hour after eating.

If the child is really hungry, he does not just cry, but also opens his mouth and pulls his arms, as if looking for a breast.

All you need to do in this situation is to feed the baby, even if it seems to you that he is full.

3. He's overtired

Adults often think that a baby simply cannot get tired (it would seem, well, why can a newborn child get tired). However, newborn children are often overworked, because everything around them is new and unknown - people, sounds, movements. If a child is awake for only an hour, and has already begun to yawn, close his eyes, whimper, then cry loudly and monotonously, he is clearly tired.

What to do in such a situation: take the baby in your arms. The warmth of your body and the familiar beating of your heart will remind the child of how he lived in his mother's belly, this will calm him down. Ventilate the room to let fresh air in - the baby will be able to breathe deeper, more oxygen will begin to flow to the brain. If the TV is on, turn it off. Keep your child quiet and sing a lullaby.

4. The child is bored

Also, often the cause of children's tears is ordinary boredom. With his crying, the baby tries to inform his parents that he has become lonely, bored and sad, he is tired of just lying and looking at the wall or rattles. In such cases, crying is intermittent: the baby periodically calms down, as if waiting for the mother to come up now, and then begins to “call” her again. If the child is not paid attention for a long time, he begins to cry very loudly and continuously.

To calm the baby in this case is simple: take him in your arms and walk around the house, tell something, entertain.

5. He feels uncomfortable

If the baby lies in a wet or overfilled diaper, of course, he will start screaming, because he is uncomfortable. An uncomfortable seam on a baby's undershirt, an uncomfortable position in a crib or a stroller, even a crumb under the clothes that pricks delicate skin can cause hysteria in a child.

Solution to the problem: check, try to change the position - put the baby on the tummy, vilify vertically.

Anna Sergeevna Fedyaeva, neonatologist, employee of the Department of Pathology of Newborns and Premature Babies at the Children's City Clinical Hospital No. 1 in Nizhny Novgorod, tells how to assess the causes of a baby's anxiety. When to see a doctor:

The child, while still in the womb, establishes a strong relationship with the mother. emotional connection, which helps him catch any change in her mood.

That is why the newborn is extremely sensitive to the mother's condition. A crying baby may become additionally nervous when he realizes that the mother is worried, confused, feeling helpless or annoyed.

Pediatricians strongly advise approaching a crying baby in an even mood. If this is not possible (not every woman can remain calm in such an environment), it is better to ask for help from a husband or other close relative who exudes confidence.

Unlike older children, a newborn will never scream unless absolutely necessary. Infant crying always has some reason, even if it does not lie on the surface.

The cries and tears of a baby should not be ignored. Contrary to some beliefs, such crying is not good for the lungs or temperament.

On the contrary, the incessant roar can shake the nervous system of the crumbs and undermine his confidence in the world around him. Another undesirable consequence of prolonged screaming is a hernia of the navel.

Before you figure out how to soothe a crying baby, you need to identify the source of children's tears. Experts identify several main reasons:

Initially, mothers still do not know how to establish by the nature of crying what exactly the little one wants. But after a while different types children's cry become distinguishable, since the volume, duration and intonation in each case will differ significantly from each other.

How to understand the cause of the screams?

Usually the child cries because he is hungry, feels pain with colic, or something (or someone) scared him. In such cases, the newborn will cry very loudly, angrily and without ceasing.

Certain characteristics and signs will help determine which of the above factors is worrying the baby at the moment.

1. A hungry baby cries quite loudly, intensely and for a long time. If you do not immediately approach him, then he will begin to choke. And after taking on the handles, he will immediately begin to look for the nipple.
2. If pain is the cause of a child's cry, then plaintive notes can be heard in it. If the pain syndrome is sudden or sharp, the child will cry loudly and very loudly.
3. Is fear the reason for crying? Then the baby screams hysterically, starting abruptly and ending just as suddenly. Usually, when he sees his mother and feels the warmth of her body, he quickly calms down.

In other situations, the child begins to call his parents with calling cries, that is, in this way he tries to draw their attention to his problem. The baby cries a little, then stops to assess the parent's reaction.

If the mother or father ignores the children's demands, then the cries will be repeated again and again at different time intervals. Usually the child does not calm down until the source of discomfort is removed.

If it is not yet possible to determine the cause by the nature of crying, trust the logical conclusions. With a well-established diet, you can already guess when the baby is hungry, and in what situations it just got bored.

The five-step system includes the following techniques, which are probably familiar to many mothers.

1. Tight swaddling. The child, “shackled” in the arms and legs, feels the same tightness as in the uterus. This helps to return him to a sense of security and, therefore, calm him down.
2. "White noise". Many newborns fall asleep well under the monotonous hum of household units. Such sounds copy the noise of the working organs of the mother's body. You can turn on the hair dryer or hiss over the child's ear yourself.
3. Side position. Babies usually sleep better on their back, but they calm down faster on their side or tummy when their face looks down a little. You need to put the crumbs on your knees sideways, supporting the head.
4. Careful motion sickness. Lay the baby down so that his head rests on your palms and his face looks down. You need to shake the baby rhythmically, gently and not very sharply. This is reminiscent of the feeling that arose when the mother walked.
5. Sucking. Satisfying the sucking reflex is another effective technique. A newborn is given either a breast, or a pacifier, or even his clean finger.

Harvey Karp talks about how to soothe a baby under 3 months old, including in the video "Your Happy Baby". On the example of several babies, the author demonstrates the effectiveness of the five-step system.

How to calm a crying baby older than 3 months?

Karp's five-step technique really helps, but these techniques are already ineffective in relation to older children. To calm, for example, a 6-month-old baby, you need to distract him, and not swaddle, and use other methods.

Another useful tip is to make the environment of the children's room more comfortable. Some sensitive children get tired of bright lights or too many bright objects.

Calming baby before bed

Many mothers complain that it is extremely difficult to calm the baby before going to bed. The main reason for children crying in the evening is banal overwork.

Judge for yourself, during the day the child learns a lot of new information, meets with various acquaintances or strangers. There are many events, and the nervous system does not always cope with their processing.

If the baby screams and cries in the evenings for no apparent reason, most likely he is very tired. It is adults who can fall asleep from fatigue, while the child is overexcited and, on the contrary, refuses to fall asleep and cries.

If your child does not want to calm down before falling asleep in the evening, you should:

• refuse excessive activity;
• ventilate the room and bring moisture to optimal levels;
• shake the child a little on the handles;
• lay down and provide a pacifier.

Achieving sound sleep allows you to perform a certain sequence of actions. For example, a mother feeds a child, bathes in water at the optimum temperature, puts her in a crib, reads a book or sings a lullaby. Usually the baby quickly falls asleep after this ritual.

It is important to understand that the issue of calming the newborn needs to be addressed individually. For one child, motion sickness is suitable, for another - swaddling, the third is calmed only by dancing.

The task of parents is to study the preferences of their child and choose the most appropriate method. However, it should be remembered that the baby has the right to cry, thus protesting against various "inconveniences". Well, mom needs to be there, showing her love.

A newborn baby does not yet know how to communicate, and so far he can only declare any change in his condition by crying.

Of course, the mother first of all needs to learn to understand her baby. None of the babies scream just like that. But it happens that the baby cries for no apparent reason, and the parents no longer know how to calm him down.

• Mom or another person caring for the baby needs to pull himself together, calm down. You can temporarily transfer the child to another family member.
• Find out why the baby is crying.
• Eliminate the cause of the anxiety.

Peace of Mind for Mom, Peace of Mind for Baby

Children infancy very sensitive to the mood of adults. The baby can be nervous when he feels that his mother is restless. Therefore, it is impossible to calm the child, being in a state of stress.

A baby's cry can be long and exhausting. Not every mother will be able to remain calm in such a situation. In this case, you can resort to the help of loved ones and ask one of the relatives to replace the mother.

And mom will have time to rest and gather strength. It is very important to remain calm, noticing that a tantrum has begun in a baby. A baby can only be reassured by someone who radiates calmness and confidence.

Why do babies cry

A baby never cries for no reason. Even if at first glance the essence of the problem is unclear. There are several main reasons why a baby cries:

• Hunger.
• Cold or heat.
• Feeling of discomfort.
• Fear.
• Boredom.
• Overwork.

If it is not clear what specifically caused the crying, you can try to eliminate each one in turn.

How to deal with baby crying

The baby cries when he wants to eat. Even if he has recently eaten, it is likely that something distracted him, and the baby looked up from food before he was full. The baby may swallow air during feeding and experience a false sense of fullness. When excess air burps, the place in the stomach will be freed up, and the baby will again feel hungry. In any case, it will be useful to offer the child to eat.

The body of young children has difficulty maintaining a constant body temperature. Any changes in ambient temperature are hard to perceive by the baby. Mom must examine and touch the child.

If the top of the baby's back is hot to the touch, the baby is overheated. If it is cold, and at the same time the child tries to move a little, he is cold. Next, you need to create comfortable conditions for the baby - either warm him up, or undress him, or replace clothes with lighter ones.

When dressing a child, it is important to choose things that are comfortable for the baby. Any fasteners located on the back or on the tummy, when the baby already knows how to roll over, can cause him discomfort. Sloppy seams, tight elastic bands - all this will not go unnoticed by the baby. Perhaps he cries because of the discomfort caused by clothing.

Any sharp sounds or bright lights can scare the baby. If the mother noticed something like this, it is necessary, first of all, to eliminate the source of fear of the baby.

Perhaps the child is crying because he is bored. The kid is tired of being alone, he requires the attention of an adult. At first, the baby begins to groan softly, giving signals. If they are left without attention and the mother does not come soon, the child may begin to become hysterical. Do not delay and wait for the child to scream. It is advisable to approach him when he is just starting to act up.

Overwork is a common cause of whims. Tantrums happen at the end of the day when the child is tired. His day was long and eventful, he got a lot of new impressions. Nervous system, not coping, gets rid of stress in this way. For children, an established regimen is important, timely going to bed, the correct alternation of activity and rest. Children who live according to the regime are more calm and self-confident.

Crying can be caused by pain

All these reasons are taken into account provided that the child is healthy. If none of the methods helps to calm the baby, perhaps something hurts him.

There are some physiological conditions that are not associated with the disease: indigestion, infantile colic. These conditions cause discomfort and pain in the child. It is advisable for mom to examine the baby: whether his tummy is swollen, whether there is a rumbling.

If the child is breastfed, it is advisable for the mother to monitor her diet. Perhaps the baby reacts to certain foods.

If colic is the cause of concern, the baby can be offered fennel-based tea, which has a calming and digestive effect. Sometimes the child may refuse to take the medicine. Then a nursing mother can include this tea in her diet. Chamomile tea is good for digestion. Before using any means, you should consult your doctor about the methods, duration of administration and dosage.

With colic, it is also important to establish feeding, make sure that the baby takes the breast correctly, does not swallow air when feeding from a bottle, does not overeat and burps excess air in time.

If redness, a rash is noticed on the baby’s body, he has a fever, he spits up profusely, refuses food, while screaming heart-rendingly, you should see a doctor or call an ambulance as soon as possible. Perhaps the reason for crying is in the disease, and the baby needs treatment.

0 to 3 months

For infants, there are several ways in which they can be easily soothed. The baby, living in the womb, is used to certain conditions. The memory of this state is preserved for up to three months. Some actions will remind the baby of his intrauterine life. This will give him a sense of confidence and calmness.

What are some ways to help your little one calm down?

• Swaddling.
• wiggle.
• Monotonous hiss.
• Side laying.
• Sucking on a pacifier or breast.

Trying to calm the child, you can alternately use all the techniques. Careful swaddling reminds the baby of his stay in the womb in the last months of pregnancy, when he no longer had enough space for free movement. When the mother moved, the baby experienced swaying throughout the pregnancy.

Monotonous hissing is the sounds that reach the baby: maternal breathing, food moving through the esophagus. The position on the side with legs tucked in resembles an intrauterine position. Sucking is one of the first reflexes that wake up in a child. While still inside the mother, the child actively begins to suck her thumb. Then this skill helps him get food from his mother's breast or with the help of a pacifier.

From 3 months to 1 year

Methods that work for babies under 3 months old are no longer suitable for older children. From three months old, the baby is interested in the world around him with might and main, this can be used for his benefit. The easiest way to save a baby from a tantrum is to abruptly switch his attention to another subject.

First of all, it is necessary to eliminate the causes of crying. But if it came to hysteria and the baby does not want to calm down, you can suddenly interest him in something. Mom, watching the baby, will definitely notice what objects, sounds or situations can capture his attention. For example, a baby fascinates how the light burns.

At moments of crying attacks, you can bring the baby to the included lamp, which he will examine with curiosity.

These situations are individual. There is no universal recipe. All children have their preferences. For the mother, the main thing, studying the interests of the baby, is to offer him at the right time something that will distract him.

Before bedtime

It will be easier to calm the baby before bedtime by following a ritual that will symbolize the baby that it's time to sleep. Soothing baths can be one of the ritual items. Warm baths taken at night help to relax and tune in to sleep.

You can take baths with soothing herbs. Melissa, chamomile, sage, valerian, motherwort are suitable for children. Dry herb tea is pre-brewed and added to the water before taking a bath. Herbal tea, absorbed through the skin, has a relaxing effect. Baths with infusion to improve sleep must be used in a course.

Excessive use of the infusion can cause the opposite effect, before any use of medicinal herbs, you should consult your doctor.

On sale there is a special children's collection - herbal tea that helps the baby calm down before going to bed. In pharmacies, children's drops of natural or synthetic origin, which have a hypnotic effect, are common.

Before using herbs, medicinal tea, drops that have a hypnotic effect, you should consult a specialist. All these drugs can not be prescribed independently. Any of them has contraindications, side effects and must be dosed correctly.

After the bath, the child should be put to bed immediately. It is necessary to lay the baby at night no earlier than three hours after daytime sleep.

A crying baby is always trying to signal a problem. The first thing parents should do is to understand the situation, find out the reason why the baby is crying. Perhaps, after the elimination of the cause, the hysteria will immediately stop.

Some babies, due to their temperament, find it difficult to calm down. They are active during the day and hardly go to sleep. A certain ritual can help mothers, symbolizing the baby that the night has come and it's time to fall asleep. Soothing baths taken before bed can become part of such a ritual.

When all else fails, pharmacies offer a large selection of remedies, such as soothing teas, drops, and other medications. Do not forget that any medicine must be prescribed by a doctor. And even harmless herbal tea can cause the opposite effect or allergy. Therefore, any medicine can be used only after consulting a specialist.

grudnichky.ru

Whims, crying, hysteria, screaming - from time to time this happens to every child. Only for someone this condition becomes a habit and becomes a constant nightmare for parents, while for someone all this happens extremely rarely. In such situations, loving and caring parents are ready to give everything, if only it all ended as quickly as possible.

Some useful tips, how to calm a child, will help parents navigate the problem and quickly restore peace and tranquility in the house, in the soul of the baby and in their heart. The measures taken will largely depend on the cause of the concern.

Hysterics

Children's hysteria is the strongest emotional outburst in a child, an attack after negative internal experiences: irritation, anger, despair, aggression. It is accompanied by loud crying and heart-rending screams. The little tyrant can arch back (the pose is called the hysterical bridge). At this moment, the baby has poor motor control, can hit the floor or wall with his head, while almost not feeling pain. Parents at such moments are advised to calm the raging child in the following ways.

1. Ignore him, don't pay any attention to him. Hysteria is designed for the presence of spectators who will persuade, regret or even scold - it is very important for a child to become the center of attention at such moments. As soon as he realizes that his "number" does not work, the meaning of the hysteria will disappear by itself.
2. Distract him to something completely extraneous, while feigning surprise or fear. Show him something unusual, bright, tell him about something exciting and curious.
3. If tantrums happen regularly, try to understand what is causing them: toys, food, your behavior. By eliminating the factor that provokes tantrums from the child’s life (do not go to the toy store with him, for example), you will stop these “concerts”.
4. Smile and hug the child, whispering a few gentle words into his ear.
5. Take him away from the place where the tantrum happened. The farther away from the cause of such a state, the more it will weaken.

Each child is very individual, and only parents can find a certain approach to him that allows him to cope with a hysterical state. But one Golden Rule at the same time, it should always work: do not raise your voice at him in such a situation - this will only increase the hysteria.

Colic

Infant colic is a behavioral syndrome in babies aged 2 weeks to 4 months. Characterized by bouts of prolonged, intense crying. They appear most often in the evening for no apparent reason. The child begins to cry a lot, tightens his legs, the tummy tenses up and becomes swollen. At such moments, you do not need to grab a first aid kit or call a doctor. A child with colic can be easily soothed on their own.

1. Take him in your arms and start rocking, lulling.
2. Sing him a lullaby.
3. Walk with him in a sling.
4. Wrap your baby in a soft, warm blanket.
5. Give him a light massage of the back, hips, tummy.
6. If he likes to bathe, dip him in a tub filled with warm water.
7. Lay the baby face down in your arms and walk like that.
8. Distract and soothe the baby with some rhythmic, methodical sound: turn on soft music, turn on the vacuum cleaner, dishwasher or washing machine.

If colic becomes a frequent visitor, be sure to tell the pediatrician leading your baby about it. He will make a diagnosis and give recommendations. It is useless to shake, pump strongly, shout nervously at the baby: this will only increase his anxiety and crying.

Before bedtime

Very many children of all ages begin to be capricious before going to bed, which upsets, and often annoys parents. The nightly "concerts" exhaust everyone in the house, and in the morning everyone wakes up with a headache and a wild desire to sleep more. There are a few simple things you can do to calm your baby down before bed.

How to calm babies up to a year:

1. Change your diaper.
2. Do a tummy massage.
3. Humidify the room.
4. Ventilate the room.
5. Talk to your baby in a calm voice.
6. Try not to show him your annoyance.
7. Between daytime and nighttime sleep, the gap should be at least 4 hours.
8. Bathe your baby in a warm bath.

How to calm an older child:

1. Sit with him for 10 minutes, tell him a story.
2. Let him take a toy to bed.
3. Talk to him in a calm tone, find out the cause of anxiety and fears.
4. Give a soothing baby tea.
5. Promise something if he tries to fall asleep faster: a weekend walk, a trip to grandma, a favorite dish, etc.

In the evening, after work and a hard day, everyone at home is exhausted and wants one thing - silence. The whims of a child of any age at this time are perceived with hostility, embittered and irritated. Parents must understand that screaming, anger, punishment will not solve the problem, but will only aggravate the situation.

Teeth are being cut

Teething is another test for any parent. When sharp teeth cut through the soft and delicate tissue of the gums, the child experiences pain, because of this, he begins to heart-rendingly and continuously cry, scream, refuses to eat and sleep. The task of calming the baby in such a situation becomes the goal of all households. It turns out it's not that hard.

1. Wrap your finger with clean gauze (bandage), without pressure, lightly, very gently scratch the swollen gum with it.
2. Chill the gel teething ring in the refrigerator and give it to your baby.
3. A chilled piece of cucumber, carrot, apple, rye bread cracker will also help relieve tension from inflamed gums.
4. At temperatures above 38 ° C, give the baby an antipyretic baby remedy.
5. Special preparations ("Kalgel", "Dentinoks-N") will have an anesthetic, soothing effect, relieving pain and eliminating itching.

Be sure to report your child's worries to the doctor, who will give appropriate recommendations, examine the oral cavity, and check if everything is in order.

Hyperactivity

Hyperactivity of a child is a condition in which his activity and excitability exceed the age norm. At the same time, he may not cry or become hysterical, but he will not sit in one place, will not listen to the requests and orders of his parents, will spin like a weed, chat about his own, grab everything in a row, refuse to eat and sleep. Calming a hyperactive child is very difficult, but possible.

1. Read and teach poetry with him: such children often have a phenomenal memory.
2. He can be carried away by changing, mobile, mobile toys: a radio-controlled car, nesting dolls, clocks with arrows, etc.
3. Engage in crafts with him: cut, shear, sculpt, design. Find something for him to enjoy.

If you know the reason why the child behaves tensely and nervously, cries and throws tantrums, you can quickly calm him down, guided by the above recommendations. There is no need to think that such a state will pass by itself and can be safely ignored. So you can greatly harm the physical and mental health of your own baby, which will subsequently affect his development and his relationship with you. No child's cry should be ignored by parents.

And do not forget that crying is always replaced by a smile!

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The baby is crying. His face turned red and swollen, tears flow from his eyes ... A picture familiar to every parent. But what to do in such a situation? How to calm a child?

Below are the 5 most common cases of baby crying and a number of effective and simple ways quickly comfort the baby during his tantrum. This is especially important when the baby burst into tears on the street, in a clinic or in another public place.

Case 1: tantrum

Let's get the concepts straight.

A tantrum is a picture loud cry, the purpose of which is to attract attention. That is, the hysteria is designed for the presence of the viewer. At the same time, the baby feels fine, nothing hurts him, he is full, healthy, but he wanted to show off. Tantrums occur, as a rule, when a toddler tries to beg something from a parent (a sweet, a toy) or when a child tries to manipulate an adult.

Hysteria is accompanied by:

• back arching;
• involuntary sudden movements;
• head tossing.

Trying to influence the child with persuasion and strict words in this case is useless.

3 ways to calm a child in hysterics

1. Prevent!

   Tantrums don't happen in a vacuum. Until the moment when the baby falls to the floor and rolls his legs, bursting into tears at the same time, a series of events will occur. For example, a child may beg for a toy and only after a few refusals go into hysterics. Don't let this happen. Distract the baby. Show something interesting so that he stops acting up.

2. Ignore.

   If the tantrum has already begun, the best thing to do is ignore it. Pretend you're interested in something else. Hysteria requires a viewer, but if there is none, then it gradually subsides. In addition, the baby, when he sees that you have found something interesting, will stop crying himself and show curiosity.

3. Prepare ahead of time.

   Try to understand what causes tantrums. Is your child missing toys? Does he like sweets too much? Or did you just spoil him a lot? Whatever the cause, try to eradicate it. Tell your child how much you love him often, praise him for his achievements, play and work with him. Show that there are many interesting things in the world besides sweets and toys.

Case 2: whims

Whims can be for various reasons, so you should first find out the reason. If it lies not in the poor health of the child, but in more harmless things, you can begin to act.

6 ways to calm a cranky child

• Method one: skip past the ears

Do not enter into an argument with the child, proving that he is wrong. Moreover, do not scold the baby, do not reproach for bad behavior. It is better to pretend that you are busy, and even better - switch the attention of the baby himself to something else.

1. “Oh, look! The bird has flown!
2. "Look what big car gone!”
3. “See, that cloud looks like a dog!”

Use any tricks so that the baby is distracted from whims and crying and becomes interested in something else.

• Method two: compromise

Do not rush to calm the baby right away. Requests like "don't cry!" and "calm down!" they will only provoke the little one even more, and the whim can turn into a tantrum. It is better to ask the baby to cry more quietly. For example, so as not to wake up the neighbors or so as not to interfere with dad's work. By doing this, you give the baby permission to cry, and the permitted things are no longer as interesting as the forbidden ones.

• Method three: speak up!

Speak! A lot, fast and energetic. At the same time, do not pay attention to the whims of the child, as if he does not cry at all, but listens to you attentively all the time. Surprisingly, little children really quickly become silent and begin to listen.

• Method four: laughter from whims

Try to make the baby laugh. Tickle him, sing a perky song or play with a toy by changing your voice in a funny way.

You can come up with a special rite. For example, blow on your baby's face to supposedly dry her tears.

• Method five: pills for whims

This trick is suitable for children over 3 years old. As soon as the baby begins to grumble and cry, offer her a "tasty pill." Candy, marmalade or other can act in its role. favorite child delicacy. But be warned that if the "pill" does not work, you will no longer offer such treatment.

• Method six: love

The most powerful weapon against children's tears is, of course, love. Hug your baby, hold it to your chest and sincerely say how much you love him. Love the child and don't forget to show it in both verbal and non-verbal ways.

Case 3: Pain

Does the baby cut his teeth, does his tummy hurt, or did he fall and skin his knee? It doesn't matter what provoked pain, the child is unlikely to be able to cope with them as an adult and, most likely, burst into tears. You need to console him, but you should act very delicately at this time.

3 ways to comfort your baby in pain

1. Do not swear!

   Never ever! - do not express your irritation and anger in front of a child who has something in pain. Now the baby is vulnerable and defenseless. He needs your help, support and love. If you break down on him or swear, then at best you will bring the crumbs to hysterics. In the worst case, such an attitude is fraught with psychological problems the baby in the future.

2. Press on the affected area of ​​the hand.

   It's no secret that people can heal with their hands. It is not in vain that when something hurts, we unconsciously touch this place with our fingers or the whole palm.

   Stroke the baby in a sore spot, saying sweet words. Imagine that your palm radiates strong healing energy, and the child's pain will subside.

3. Caress.

   In mother's arms, any pain recedes very quickly, and insults are forgotten. Do not skimp on tenderness, kiss the baby and speak to him. Say that he is the best, tell a story, sing a song. Simple human communication is often more effective than cunning psychological tricks.

The baby is crying from colic: what to do?

• Warm the diaper on the radiator and attach it to the baby's tummy.
• Hold the baby close to you and carry it in your arms.
• Pour warm water into the baby bath and bathe the baby - the spasms weaken in the heat.
• Fennel tea and chamomile help with colic, but it's best to check with your doctor before using herbs.

Occasion 4: before bed

Many babies start crying at bedtime and at night. There can be many reasons for this:

• the baby is overexcited and does not want to sleep;
• the baby, on the contrary, is too tired;
• the room is too hot and stuffy;
• the child is afraid to be alone at night.

But you never know what alarmed the baby. The main thing is to figure out how to calm him down.

4 ways to calm your baby before bed

1. Atmosphere

   Create an atmosphere of comfort and peace in the children's bedroom. Turn on pleasant music, ventilate the room, buy a night light. By the way, the nightlight is very important detail children's room interior. It not only creates a pleasant twilight, but also soothes the child, letting him know that he is safe.

2. Ritual before bed

   To avoid whims and set the baby to sleep, come up with a ritual. It can be an evening fairy tale, a warm bath with herbs, a glass of milk with honey - one thing or all together. The child, having got used to the fact that after this or that action you need to go to bed, will no longer resist and cry.

3. be patient

   Let your baby sleep peacefully. Do not rush him, do not rush to leave and leave the crumbs alone in a dark room. Hold his hand until he falls asleep, or lie in the same bed with him. Let the baby feel protected.

4. saving light

   Leave the door to the nursery ajar so that the baby can see the light pouring from the corridor and hear the voices of the parents. It soothes children and helps them fall asleep quickly at night.

Case 5: Hyperactivity

Hyperactive kids are not uncommon these days. Often, out of desperation, parents go to doctors and ask them for advice on how to calm a hyperactive child. Unfortunately, pediatricians most often prescribe drugs. It can be light tranquilizers - "Fezam", "Tazepam" and others. Of course, you should not give such drugs to children, but what to do when the baby arranges noisy games and no less noisy tantrums?

It is better to approach the solution of the problem from the point of view of psychology. Use the games and techniques below.

5 ways to calm a hyperactive child

1. remote control for baby

   Take an old TV remote and play a game with your baby. As soon as the child starts making noise, pretend to turn the volume down. The kid must follow the command.

2. Napkin

   Explain to the child the essence of the game: you throw a napkin, and while it falls, the baby is free to do what he wants - scream, laugh, run, but as soon as the napkin touches the floor, the child will have to shut up and behave quietly.

3. Whale

   Invite your child to play whale. He will be a whale that slowly sinks under the water (in this case, the water is, of course, imaginary), swims slowly, slowly looking for something “at the bottom”.

4. Silent games

   Give the kid a task - let him assemble the puzzle, circle the drawings drawn with dots, color the coloring book. Any game that requires focus and patience will do. Of course, promise a reward.

5. Repetition

   The essence of the game: the child must repeat after you all the movements and actions. Start with loud games and sudden movements, but gradually slow down. A child who repeats after you will also gradually calm down.

How to calm a newborn?

The crying of a baby is a separate issue. As a rule, the tantrums of children under one year old do not have a psychological basis and are associated solely with the inability of the baby to talk about his needs in a different way. But how to calm a crying baby under the age of one? Luckily, it's pretty easy.

1. "White noise"

   Monotonous hissing sounds remind babies of the sound of blood flowing in the mother's womb. That is why most children of the first months of life quickly fall asleep at the sound of running water (for example, a waterfall), the noise of an untuned radio and the hiss of their parents.

2. motion sickness

   This method is also suitable for children from birth to 6-7 months. Rocking soothes and relaxes the baby, bringing back memories of intrauterine life.

3. Embrace

   It is often enough just to hug the baby tightly, whisper a few gentle comforting words to him to calm the child.

4. Sucking

   Babies relax best at their mother's breasts; artificial babies can be offered an alternative - a pacifier.

5. Breath
   An older child can be asked to "breathe with a nose." In this case, the mother herself needs to set an example and take a few deep breaths. The thing is that small children are terrible “repeaters”, and your child will probably immediately calm down and begin to repeat after you.

Conclusion

Despite the many tips on how to soothe a baby when he cries, The best way- Love. Do not be angry and forgive the baby for all his whims. And remember that if the baby is too spoiled, this is most of all your fault.

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Hello, today we will talk about children's tantrums. Almost every parent faced this, but only a few coped. We will talk about their causes and what parents need to do in order to stop the child's tantrum in a matter of minutes.

Psychologist, founder of the First Children's Academy and the School of Professional Parents, business coach and mother of four (for two with her husband) children, Marina Romanenko talks about the true causes of a baby's tantrum and how to stop a child's tantrum in 2 minutes at any age.

What is hysteria? Causes

I don't think you need to look in a reference book to understand the definition of a tantrum. All parents have experienced when their children begin to cry loudly, fall to the floor and do not hear a single reasonable argument, and this can be called hysteria, and it happens in very different ages: both in a year, and in 2, and in 10 years. And the reasons for tantrums, as a rule, (now I’ll tell my parents what I don’t want to hear) is when we ignore them. And when the children once, perhaps, approached us, the second or third, they asked us something or looked, or pulled us, but we did not react to them, they choose the ways that we will have to respond and, as a rule, - it is crying, falling, something that we simply have to respond to.

At what age do tantrums start?

You may be faced with the fact that your child’s tantrum will even begin literally before the year, but the peak, if you take all the children in the world, is one and a half to two years. This is the moment when they do it often, with pleasure and effectively. And it is very important to understand how to respond to this correctly, so that in a matter of minutes it is easy to localize it and change the child’s behavior so that he does not have to resort to this all the time.

We also read: 2 types of tantrums in children (hysterics of the upper and lower brain) and the correct reaction of parents

What to do to stop the tantrum?

There is a simple, universal algorithm that will work with any age that will allow you to stop your child's tantrum in less than 2 minutes. It consists of only five items.

1. "React" After you hear the baby crying, quickly turn your head to the side where he is crying. Talking is prohibited.
2. “Join” If he is right in front of your feet, then lower yourself to him or if he is a few steps away, approach him. Talking is prohibited.
3. "Analysis of the situation" Look at the expression on your child's face. He may cry for various reasons. He can be angry, in despair that he can’t get through to you in any way, upset about something, you consider this emotion from his face and ask him - “Are you upset? You're angry? Did something go wrong for you?" And this will be such a “bridge” that will allow your child to either nod in response to you, or disagree with you, but you have already turned it on. And if you did, go to the next point - the fourth.
4. "Deep analysis of the situation" And here you need to understand the reason - what happened?! You may think one thing, but the child's mind may be completely different. Just ask, “What happened? Tell. I want to know, I want to help, or tell me what you want." And children begin to interact with you. It is very important here not to evaluate what they say, not to criticize and not to try to immediately give advice that they need to do something differently. Just listen. Just ask the next question - "Anything else?" When your child speaks out, go to step five.
5. "Answer the child" You may not agree that he asked you for a candy, a lollipop, I don’t know, an iPhone, because everyone in the class bought it. If you do not agree with him, tell them honestly - “I do not plan to do this to you, I understand you, but I do not plan to. That's why, that's why, that's why. I'm sorry." If you agree, then say - “My God, thank you for telling me, now I understand exactly what I should do. Come on, let's go, let's do it."

We also read: How to deal with child tantrums: advice from a psychologist

How to understand a child who cannot speak?

There is one very important point. So, if the child is not talking yet and he is having a tantrum, try to offer him options for answers - “Do you want this?” Specifically show, do not ask, but point to some object, food or what he wants. "Either this, or this - show me." And even Small child one year old will begin to show what he wants, and you will understand him more. As soon as you started, he responded to you, which means that you included him in the conversation. Our physiology is so arranged that the hysteria will subside as soon as you enter into a dialogue with your child.

We also read: 5 good reasons baby tantrums

How to prevent hysteria?

And you know, the last thing I want to say is how to prevent a child from becoming hysterical at all. There is only one way to prevent a child from having a tantrum, and that is to never ignore it. This does not mean that all of your time should be devoted to the child. It just means that if you hear him and can react to him, react immediately, because you don't know how important it is to him. THAT, for him, inside, according to his scale of importance values, what he wants to address or say to you. If he doesn't hear back from you once, twice, or three times, he'll choose a way that you still have to respond to. Therefore, react from the very beginning, and tantrums, as such, will pass altogether. You will forget what it is.

Or maybe you just don't care?

Many books advise parents not to pay attention to the behavior of children when they fall into a tantrum or cry, with the idea that if you react, then this will continue. But let's be honest, let's just think logically: if you, an adult, really really want something, and you are ignored again and again, you will turn the world upside down to get what you want. And your kids do the same. So the only way is to start responding to them quickly and never ignore them.

We also read: Children's tantrum in the store - how to react to parents

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