Guest marriage: the pros and cons of relationships. Guest marriage

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While some are arguing which two people can be married, others are exploring the maximum allowed distance in a couple. He talks about guest marriages family psychologist Maria Samotsvetova.

Humans are the most social of all animals. The family is our very first and strongest social group. Being among relatives and being part of society is necessary for our survival, so people will always find or come up with a format that is convenient for them (or appropriate to the situation) for living together. One of these forms is a guest marriage. Let's try to figure out what it is, what are its disadvantages and advantages.

Previously, traditional marriage was based on the conditional impossibility of surviving without a husband (wife). Like it or not, like it, don't like it, and winter is coming - you need help, support, an ally and ally. A woman could not survive and raise a child without the participation of a man until the middle of the twentieth century. Maintaining a common household was a condition for survival.

Times are changing and attitudes towards marriage are changing. In the modern Western world, guest marriage is increasingly common.

The concept of "guest marriage" means this type of family relationship, when a man and a woman register relationships in the registry office, but do not live together and do not run a joint household. The issues of sexual fidelity and the upbringing of children are regulated by the spouses themselves in each family individually.

A guest marriage is a real, official union, in contrast to a civil marriage, in which partners simply live together and are not legally bound. This is not a temporary state, the partners strictly agree to live separately.

What does guest marriage mean? Often this is the second or third relationship experience for spouses. Before that, they had a long, ordinary, "full" marriage with children, loans, vacations with the mother-in-law and the gradual fading of love and passion, which ended in divorce. They “played enough” in such a marriage, they got burned and don’t believe in it anymore, now they don’t want to be so close and so united, they want more freedom and independence, they don’t want to sacrifice their desires, they don’t want to take care of children or their husband, they want to take care of yourself; I want to be more partners than spouses.

Why do people choose separation? What are its advantages? We will analyze the pros and cons of a guest marriage.

Benefits of a guest marriage

I see three main benefits (reasons) - convenience, freedom and a romantic period extended to infinity, which make this relationship almost ideal.

It is comfortable. In your apartment you are the owner: if you wanted - you scattered your socks, if you wanted - you drank beer, if you wanted - and didn’t vacuum. To share an apartment and life with someone (even if it is the most beloved and native person in the world) is difficult. It is necessary to negotiate, to yield, to show flexibility, sensitivity, to be attentive to the desires and needs of another, but not to forget about yourself. It will not work to fix life once and for all - this is a changeable system, and the set of rules is constantly being rewritten. That is, this is an eternal outflow of a resource: remember about the unwashed floor, agree on who washes it, how and with what, re-negotiate when necessary. It is much more comfortable to answer only for your needs, whims and obligations.

The guest marriage was built under the slogan "Count only on yourself!". And not in the sense of some global things, but in the most simple and ordinary - no one will take out the trash for you, no one will warm the tea.

It's independent. No need to correlate your pastime with a partner. A spouse in a guest marriage can manage her work and free time, focusing only on herself: if she wanted to, she went to yoga after work (and not to the market for potatoes), and then to the cinema (and not to cook borscht at the stove). You don’t need to ask for a party with your girlfriends, just as you don’t need to make excuses for returning home too late and drunk.

It's romantic. The spouses in a guest marriage, as it were, are at the stage of an eternal romance: dates, flowers, restaurants, weekends by the sea. In such a marriage, there is practically no “everyday life” in which so many families drowned.

Cons of guest marriage

It seems tempting, but there are pluses and minuses to a guest marriage.

It's lonely. No matter how the supporters of the guest marriage defend their freedom, no matter how they shout about independence and autonomy, the guest marriage is a lonely marriage. Yes, there is a close person, but he is far from always available. For example, because he is at yoga after work and does not answer the phone.

Intimacy is about acceptance, about knowing a partner from all sides. And in a guest marriage, the spouses know each other rather from the front, title side.

The guest marriage was built under the slogan "Count only on yourself!". And not in the sense of some global things, such as buying an apartment, but in the most simple and mundane - no one will take out the trash for you, no one will warm the tea if you get caught in the rain, no one will fix a leaking toilet, no one will repark the car for you . All responsibility rests solely on your shoulders. Yes, you can ask the guest husband for help, but it will not be the same when you come home from work, and help has already been provided without any requests or reminders.

It's distant. A guest marriage is definitely not about intimacy, because intimacy is about acceptance, about knowing a partner from all sides. And in a guest marriage, the spouses know each other rather from the front, title side, there is not enough time to study all the facets.

It is not profitable. Like it or not, a purse worked by two is usually thicker than a purse worked by one.

Who is a guest marriage suitable for?

Guest marriage is best for people who are focused on their careers... and their egos.

Such a marriage can be chosen by people who are afraid of intimacy: what closer people the more vulnerable they are. Guest marriage is very safe - there is nothing to quarrel about.

Any joint activity of two people requires flexibility, the ability to negotiate, give in, divide, or insist on their own. Marriage is a partnership. Not all people succeed, and then a guest marriage is their option.

In matters of matrimony, it is necessary to rely on your feelings: how pleasant it is for me, how convenient it is for me, how useful it is for me, how normal it is for me personally.

Guest marriage cannot be called unequivocally bad or good - you need to try. For some people it fits better, for others it doesn't fit at all. For example, it will be difficult for an anxious and distrustful woman not to suspect her guest husband of infidelity (although, I fully admit that such a woman will regularly check her husband’s phone even in an ordinary marriage). But for a closed and secretive artist, everyday life will be a burden - the need to travel for groceries or work under the roar of pots in the kitchen.

My personal opinion is that in matters of matrimony (and in all other matters too) it is necessary to rely on your feelings: how pleasant it is for me, how convenient it is for me, how useful it is for me, how normal it is for me personally. If you carefully assessed and thought, you came to the conclusion that the guest marriage is yours, then go!

Each of us has our own individual characteristics, we have our own history of relationships, baggage from parental families. Sometimes a combination of these factors prevents close relationships, living together or a happy life, and you don’t want to be alone. An alternative and a way out for such people can be a guest marriage.

Increasingly, relations between the sexes are acquiring bizarre forms, far from the classical understanding of marriage. One of these novelties is a guest marriage. What kind of relationship is this - a guest marriage, its pros and cons, caring for children in a guest marriage, and whether there is any point in such a relationship at a distance, read in our article.

Guest marriage, what kind of relationship is this

In fact, a guest marriage or in a smart wayextraterritorial, they call this type of relationship when the spouses live in different territories and lead a household isolated from each other. Do not confuse a guest marriage with a long-distance relationship, because in the second case everything is very shaky, while in a guest marriage the relationship has already been established and everything is clear and understandable between two people.

So, what kind of relationship in a guest marriage expect the spouseswhat are the pros and cons of guest marriage:

• Of course, these are different houses or apartments for life.
• This is a separate budget, in which one spouse may not even know the income of the other.
• With such a marriage, people do not meet on a schedule, but only when both want to communicate.
• Between meetings, husband and wife are free from each other.
• Relationships in a guest marriage involve mutual fidelity. Despite the seeming freedom, this marriage still imposes certain obligations.
• Relationship freshness. Thanks to relatively rare meetings, feelings do not become boring, but romance remains.
• But it is worth remembering that everyday difficulties will have to be solved independently. Of course, a guest marriage does not exclude help, but it does not oblige the spouses to participate in each other's everyday problems.

This type of marriage is chosen by those who do not want to get bogged down in the daily routine of dirty socks and the notorious borscht. Spouses in a guest marriage believe that feelings are one thing, and life is completely different, and these two concepts should not be confused. Indeed, in such families, sex happens by mutual agreement, and not by obligatory duty. Romance here does not stop with the appearance of a stamp in passports, but on the contrary, it can acquire even greater depth and tenderness.

G core marriage: is there any point in a relationship at a distance

Such family life is not suitable for everyone. Many men and women want to see their partner much more often than a couple of times a week. It is important for them to fall asleep and wake up together, cook family dinners, and then watch TV shows, embracing on the couch.

But there are those for whom such relationships are ideal. This is especially true for creative people who are completely immersed in the process. Workaholics often no longer have the strength for a family in the classical sense of the word.

Questions, what kind of relationship is this - "guest marriage" - will not arise for those who believe that everyday routine can kill the strongest feelings. For such people, the quality of the relationship is more important than their time equivalent. Such a family is suitable for those who have already been in a standard marriage and for some reason do not want to repeat that experience.

There can be many reasons, but there is, of course, a sense in long-distance relationships with a guest marriage.

How to give birth and raise children in a guest marriage

The main thing to do is to agree “on the shore”. Before you have children, discuss as fully as possible with your spouse the process of raising, caring for and providing financial support for the child. If the couple reaches agreement on this issue and strictly follows the agreements, then there will be no problems with children in a guest marriage.

For example, a child can live half a week with mom and the other half with dad. The family spends weekends and holidays together, travels, communicates and enjoys the time spent together.

Sick leave due to a baby’s illness can be alternated, or chipped in for a nanny. At the most difficult time maternity leave- the father takes on the function of supporting both his baby and his wife until she can go to work. Or the pope can go on maternity leave for several months himself, because it is quite possible by law, and in many European countries it is also often practiced.

In our fast-paced time, this phenomenon is becoming more and more popular and in some cases convenient. It differs from ordinary and civil (or correspondence) in that spouses live separately for various reasons and do not run a joint household, but most often people formalize their relationship.

What is it - a tribute to fashion or the creation of comfortable living for both in today's dynamic world? If two people love each other, but live in different cities, have a good, promising job that they don’t want to lose, then for them this type of marriage becomes a way out.

Also in this case, there is no housing issue, which for many is a stumbling block.

This type of relationship is acceptable for people who marry in adulthood.

A man and a woman are mature, accomplished individuals, active, with established habits and a way of life. But it is no longer easy to adapt to another person, to change habits. There will be no quarrels over an open tube of toothpaste and scattered things. The husband will not see his wife in an old dressing gown. Spouses do not have time to get bored with each other, do not constantly collide in the kitchen, in the bathroom.

You can meet on weekends, each meeting will bring pleasure. Vacation together. There is an incentive to take care of yourself, to keep yourself in good shape.

"Pros" of a guest marriage
The advantages of a guest marriage include the absence of a routine of household chores. This type of relationship is very suitable for business ladies who devote a lot of time to work and who do not have the strength to do household chores after that, etc.

One business lady says: I can't imagine afterwork to cook dinner for her husband and put things in order in the apartment! It's all not for me. I'd rather relax after work, chat with my friends on the phone, take care of myself. And at the weekend, refreshed and prettier to meet with him. And no showdowns and claims about the trash can not taken out on time».

Well, this point of view is quite understandable. It's no secret that everyday problems kill romance in a relationship. And if the spouses come periodically to visit each other, each visit is filled with the expectation of pleasant moments, a holiday. If the spouses have a rich imagination, you can turn every date into an adventure. Joint walks, trips to the theater will bring a lot of pleasure. are regarded not as a forced marital duty, but as a true pleasure.

Even a telephone conversation with a loved one can be more romantic than a face-to-face meeting. You can tell in a languid voice that you just got out of the bathroom and you are wearing a light transparent peignoir. Husband's imagination will immediately play out ....

Guest marriage is quite suitable for people with choleric temperament. It happens that people love each other very much, but they cannot live together all the time: because of the quick temper, quarrels, reproaches, scandals begin. Or there are situations that the constant presence of a husband or wife causes irritation. No matter what temperament he has, sometimes, even if the husband sits quietly in an armchair with a newspaper, his presence can be unnerving. So a guest marriage in this case is the ideal way out.

You can also manage your free time as you see fit. And you do not have to worry about the fact that he is late at work or meets with friends and promised to come after an hour, but he is still gone.

Many men like this look. They sometimes get very tired at work, they want to throw their things anywhere, leave dirty dishes until tomorrow, and without fear of running into a scandal about it. Periodic meetings with a loved one give an incentive to always be in shape and feel attractive and active. Such dates are filled with warmth and harmony. And, with everything, there remains a share of freedom that they value so much.

Some couples choose this type of relationship for themselves at the very beginning. married life. The reasons may be different: the solution of the housing issue, the features of work. Establishing a period of "grinding to each other", getting used to, arranging a joint life. Many of them regard guest marriage as a temporary phenomenon and plan to start living together and having children later.

"Cons" of a guest marriage
The downside of such a relationship is the lack of home, warmth. There is no sense of unity of the spouses, mutual support in difficult situations. There is no shoulder to lean on in times of need. If you had a bad day, you will not be able to complain to your husband right away when you come home, you will not be able to feel his loving embrace.

A telephone conversation in this case will not give much psychological warmth. There may be a feeling of loneliness.
Sometimes people take such a step in order to revive feelings, take a break from family worries.

« Let's live separately”- such a phrase may sound like a signal that people are fed up with each other and want to understand if there are still feelings for each other.

“When life becomes easy, you can afford to live separately”

Svetlana

Lives in a guest marriage for three years

For me, a guest marriage is when a man and a woman have serious intentions, serious relationship but they don't live together permanently. They do not meet every evening and do not part every morning, but do it in free mode. It is important for me that I have the opportunity to be alone, to spend time in isolation. When you live together, this is not possible.

Usually we meet in my apartment, my husband Sergey comes once in the middle of the week, we also do some common things on the weekend: we go to the country house, make purchases, relax. We also go on vacation together, and during the holidays it’s not at all stressful to be together, because everyday problems disappear, you can live carefree in a hotel.

We have been living in a guest marriage for three years, but our relationship has a long history. We were friends for 20 years, then fate blew us apart, then Sergey began to look for me, found me, and since then we began to live together. More precisely, in a guest marriage. Apparently, this happened because we were already adults, we had experience behind us. It is easy to converge and start a joint household in youth. At our age, you need to be more attentive to the other person and his space - largely because you already value your space yourself. True, Sergei seeks to shorten our distance, wants to live together, but for now I am on the defensive.

In our case, a guest marriage does not imply an open relationship. I don't want that at all, and neither does my husband. Again, due to our age, we have enough of each other.

I think guest marriages have started popping up because people are always looking to get through tough times together. Perhaps, when life becomes easier and additional housing resources appear, one can afford to live separately.

In our family, no one gives money to anyone, but some financial questions we decide together. If Sergey has any problems, I can help him, although this, of course, rarely happens - more often he helps me. We also make joint purchases, and we are also going to someday live together. We will do this when the children grow up, when the house that Sergey is building and in which we plan to live in old age is ready.

We do not have common children, but I have four of them, and my husband also has four. They are already old enough, so everyone understands well. They see that he is fine with me, and I - with him, so no one protests. But our children almost do not communicate with each other, only sometimes they intersect in the country - they have some kind of parallel life. We are friends with each other's parents, we go to their dachas.

For my children, Sergey is my mother's friend. They often criticize me for the fact that I am not always affectionate with him, and sometimes I can be strict. They are on his side, because they see how good it is with him, they notice that he tries and loves me.

"No marriage implies freedom in sexual relations"

Laima Irbis

Free, was in a guest marriage

In my case, the guest marriage happened due to the fact that I changed my country of residence. One weekend my husband and I spent in Riga, the next - in Moscow, and that's how we traveled to each other. The relationship continued for two years.

We broke up due to the fact that we began to see each other more often. I like guest relations because there is an opportunity to preserve personal territory, and when more encroachments began on it than usual, I became uncomfortable. I tried to return it all to its original position, but it did not work - he required more communication than I could give. I got used to the fact that I have my own space, my own time, my own personal life.

Perhaps if we lived in the same city, everything would be different. Probably, we would have moved in together faster and parted too soon. But I was not ready to return back to Russia for the sake of these relations, and there were no reasons for this besides them.

No marriage presupposes freedom in sexual relations. If people are together, then they are together, and in other cases it is simply not necessary to call this relationship a marriage. Anything but that big word.

The institution of marriage this moment twisted and wobbled. People do not seek relationships, they think more about a career, especially in large cities. And those who are family-oriented are few. And even family people resort to different options that make their life easier. Relationships need to be dealt with, and the rhythm of the city dictates a certain style that takes time, effort and resources. There is no desire to overcome all this either, because the guidelines have shifted. And the guest format is popular because it doesn't require a lot of time.

I cannot single out the obvious disadvantages of a guest marriage, because my relationship always ended at the moment when the person tried to carve out more space for himself in my life, and there was no longer enough oxygen for two. Therefore, the format of a guest marriage suits me.

Probably the only thing that in my case will contradict the guest form of communication is children. Ideally, parents should be together, they should show their children that they love each other and love them too. But while I have no children, it's hard for me to judge. And joint purchases, for example, are not a reason to immediately move in, even if it is real estate. We lived in three countries, everywhere we had some kind of apartment.

If people hinder each other in development, they should not be together. Two is not one plus one, it is more. They must do something together, motivate each other to develop, produce some kind of mutual exchange that would push them to move on. If this does not happen and one partner pulls the other back, then people are simply not suitable for each other.

"For some, a guest marriage is a real way to save a family"

Andrey Egorov

Decided to live in a guest marriage because of the child, but changed his mind

I was planning a guest marriage when we had a baby. It seemed to me that the only way out of this situation, when we are exhausted and I physically cannot combine work with solving family issues, would be to live separately. At the same time, a nanny will help my wife (I was against the presence of a nanny in the apartment where I live), and she herself will live in an apartment near the work that I will rent for her with the child. I will also give money for life - as a responsible man. My wife came to the conclusion that it would be better for us, because for me this is the only way to keep all the work that I am busy with. And in times of crisis, they are really important.

I sat down and dashed off in LJ in fifteen minutes. I did not expect such a reaction to him, but I read the comments with interest, but they did not at all affect my further decision.

In the end, we changed our minds. We decided to live together, but move to a more spacious apartment, where I will have my own office and where there will be a nanny who, like my beloved child, will not interfere with my work. I love my wife too. We have the phrase "together forever" engraved on our rings - I'm sure it will be so. Moreover, we have already seen a lot in this life together, we buried our closest ones together. Therefore, the remarks in the comments “weakling” or “how about in sorrow” only amused me. A child is not at all sorrow. These are joys. But he certainly interferes with work when there is as much of it as I have.

By the way, my wife herself suggested leaving in this way - for the sake of me and the preservation of our relationship. And I just agreed. She changed her mind later, offering a new option.

We never ask relatives and friends about anything. Doubt they can give useful advice or come up with something better than ourselves. It's not that we have such high self-esteem, we just have a wealth of experience in dealing with all possible situations.

I think guest marriage is not cowardice. For some, this is a real way to save a family when there is such a factor as Small child. Not all women are capable of being good mothers, not all men are capable of being excellent fathers. But we have a different situation. We realized that we cannot live without each other. I guess if we were apart, we would get back together in a week. We are drawn to each other.

When a small child is born, the family changes, a man must accept a new reality. The woman ceases to be only his. Now she is a woman and a mother. The super-responsible man tries to make sure that he can provide the woman and mother with money in any case. It is rather courage and sacrifice to deprive yourself of them in order to work for them. But it's hard to explain this to people. In addition, my beloved wife did not allow me to accomplish this feat. A woman is wiser than a man in certain things.

“A Russian woman has a problem - when she is doing well, she starts to feel that this is wrong”

Lives in a guest marriage at a great distance

In my case, a guest marriage is a long-distance relationship that we were able to formalize according to religious prescriptions. Since I am a Muslim, I basically cannot enter into relationships with men without entering into a religious marriage with them. But officially, according to secular laws, our relationship is not registered.

My husband lives in the USA and I live in Russia. Now living in different countries for us it is an obstacle, not a conscious choice. But we have come to understand that we will have to live like this for a while.

It is still difficult to plan the future due to all sorts of technical issues - it is very difficult to organize a move with a bunch of children, visas, jobs and other things. Perhaps if I was 20 years old and I really wanted to get married in order to constantly be close to a person, I would probably beat my head against the wall with indignation. But I was married for 13 years, divorced a year ago, and now I have begun to value my personal time and space. Each of us is minding our own business, and time will tell if we can connect. As a last resort, we think about living with each other for seasons.

I have three children, and I also take care of my brother, that is, I actually raise four children. My husband expresses a sincere desire to help, and he assumes the presence of so many people in his life, on his territory. But all this is expensive, so he, as a man who wants to take full responsibility, must prepare for this.

We met him on a site where people helped each other learn languages. Even before he arrived in Russia, we realized that we were captured by each other. When we met, everything immediately became clear. I informed him that in order for us to enter into a relationship, he must convert to Islam and perform a religious ceremony of marriage. He agreed without hesitation.

My mother, unfortunately, did not find this relationship, and my father is terribly afraid that my husband will take us all across the ocean, and this is his worst experience. In general, this seems strange to dad, but there is no negative. When my husband came, we went to dad to get acquainted, both of them were interested. I think dad likes that her husband is far away. He always says: "You go, but just come back."

But it was much more difficult for my husband. He was the first to come to me, and his relatives in America were worried: Russian, Muslim, many children. Dad told him quite honestly at a family dinner that if he was taken hostage, he would not pay a ransom. At work, the guys played a prank on him - they dragged a mannequin with torn off legs. And his grandmother called him to visit to say goodbye for the last time. In general, they sincerely said goodbye to him as if he was leaving forever.

By the way, now I have an excellent relationship with his grandmother - we constantly communicate with her on Facebook, and she is delighted that she now has a friend in Russia. His whole family are absolutely wonderful people, I went to meet them, and now we are friends on the Internet. I was received very sincerely and openly.

A second marriage was implied in any case, because a woman should not raise children alone. Something bad happened to my children's dad. good story- he ceased to observe Islam as it should be, he began to drink. The children saw everything, and after the divorce middle child said: "Mom, well, you should get married, you should be happy." I think that the children are quite satisfied that the husband is somewhere far away, because it would probably be difficult for them, too, to immediately accept someone else's uncle. One child really wants adventures and trips, he dreams of moving to another country, and the older child, for example, does not want to change anything. When my husband was here, they tried to talk to him, they taught him Russian with great pleasure.

According to Sharia, a guest marriage is quite acceptable. Very often, people who are married live in different houses, even if these houses are located in the same city. Although, of course, the traditional society will condemn. Any traditional society believes that marriage is when the family is under one roof.

When you are apart, every meeting is a holiday, a vacation, which means that you push into the background both work and unnecessary meetings. Of course, it's bright and cool. I try to just enjoy what I have - it's allowed, it's normal.

It seems to me that a Russian woman has one problem - when she is doing very well, she begins to feel that this is wrong, that it should not be so good. You will laugh a lot - you will cry. So I think, can everything be so cool?

Ready to look you in the eye on the best day of summer - August 3, at the Afisha Picnic. The Cure, Pusha-T, Basta, Gruppa Skryptonite, Mura Masa, Eighteen - and this is just the beginning.

Lover, mistress - attractive, mysterious, romantic. A legal wife or husband is boring, monotonous, but dignified. And if you combine these different roles into one, they say, create a “guest marriage”?

Spouses and lovers are like two poles. Combining into one whole, it would seem, such different roles, we get a guest marriage. IN Lately with such a phenomenon as a guest marriage or "spouses - lovers" is becoming more and more common. What is this new round of relations or is it time to sound the alarm?

Together, but separately, or what is a guest marriage

What is a guest marriage? For some, this is a perversion, while for others it is an indicator of a high level of relationship. And in fact? Let's go to Wikipedia!

Guest marriage - a marriage registered in the relevant state authorities, in which the spouses live separately and do not run a common household.

But in reality?
Many people think they have common child, sometimes a newly-made dad comes, sometimes throws money, or buys some kind of toy, and sometimes stays for the night, so, according to old memory, these are spouses-lovers. No, it's not!
A guest marriage is considered to be a marriage formalized in accordance with all laws in the registry office. Spouses can even build a summer house together, buy a refrigerator or a sofa, but live in separate apartments. But they don't have other families! They live apart, but spend together family holidays, go to visit together and even have children. Children can live with their father and mother, communicate with grandparents. Spouses do not even think of having lovers, they love each other dearly.

Benefits of a guest marriage

Do you need modern man? , fidelity go somewhere in the background. Women in the modern world are self-sufficient, and without men they can cope. In addition, quite often one hears: “The family broke up from domestic problems ...” Perhaps a guest marriage is a way out of this situation? No need to think: "? How ? And most importantly, you don’t even have to think about who should be the first man or woman in the family? Yes, and all household problems are minimized!
Every meeting is a joy! Missed each other! Either a romantic dinner by candlelight, or going to a restaurant, or visiting friends. Not life, but a fairy tale!
All problems for everyone in their apartment remain. But, if trouble unexpectedly knocked on the house, there is a loved one who you can turn to and he will come to the rescue.
At first glance, there are solid pluses: you don’t need to change your habits, adapt, and sex is not the notorious marital duty. And complete independence!

Cons of guest marriage

Such a seemingly perfect marriage has its downsides. Which?
The first, of course, is public opinion. Not everyone understands such relationships, and sooner or later, conversations and hints from relatives and girlfriends can spoil marital relations.
Not the last place is occupied by such a minus as uncertainty. There is no firm certainty that a loved one will always come to the rescue.
And most importantly, children, children must communicate with their father and mother. And in a guest marriage, children, as a rule, live with their mother, and the main worries fall on her shoulders.
But regardless of who the children live with, sooner or later a situation may arise when one of the spouses, the one who is raising the children, will simply explode. Guest marriage may cease to exist.

The opinion of psychologists about guest marriage

Psychologists believe that a guest marriage will be successful if:

• Both spouses are financially secure: they have a decent income.
• Both spouses have their own separate housing.
• Both spouses adhere to the same views in raising children.
• A career for spouses is higher than family relationships.
• Neither spouse has a desire to command the other.

A guest marriage will fail if:

• Huge age difference between spouses.
• Spouses belong to different social circles.
• Financial dependence of one of the spouses.
• Neither spouse has their own home.
• Serious illness of one of the spouses.

Making a choice
Each person has the right to choose what kind of marriage he should live, and generally marry or not. Old Eastern wisdom says:
“The beauty of marriage is that the person you love is always with you, and the main disadvantage of marriage is that the person you love is always with you.”

In marriage, whatever it may be, everything is possible, it is like a long voyage, during which strong storms occur, and calm swimming, the main thing is to respect, love each other, be able to negotiate, and, of course, not to betray.
“Find a partner you like, think carefully about this step and do not miss the time,” says another oriental wisdom.

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