Who should be present at the matchmaking on the part of the bride. The wedding process of the bride in Islam

Today, few people observe wedding ceremonies, and in vain. The folk rite of matchmaking is very colorful and filled with fun, so it can be the highlight of a wedding. The matchmaking scenario can be completely different, it all depends on your desires and preferences.

Modern and simplified matchmaking script

Today, matchmaking has changed and simplified, it has become more modern. There are two options for the matchmaking of the groom for the bride:

• The first option is when the groom sends matchmakers (parents, relatives, godparents) to the bride's house.
• The second option is when the groom goes himself to the bride's parents and asks them for her hand. By old tradition he must ask them for blessings, and the parents, taking the icon in their hands, bless them.

A young man comes to the bride with two bouquets of flowers: one for the bride and the other for her mother. He must be beautifully and elegantly dressed, and show himself with better side and prove to everyone that he is worthy of the bride and will be her wonderful husband. The girl cannot be present during the matchmaking, as her parents can ask various delicate questions about his financial situation, living conditions, his worldview, attitude towards marriage, family, children and much more.

What should the groom do during the matchmaking?

A young man can also inquire about the dowry of his chosen one from his parents. He briefly talks about his intentions and feelings for his chosen one. He talks about how he will take care of her and protect her, how he will not let anyone offend. Talking about what's to come a good husband and father. In general, he must say everything that all parents want to hear in order to be calm about the fate of his daughter. Then the father and mother give their consent to their marriage and invite the groom's parents to set the wedding day and discuss all organizational issues.

The bride and groom go to the groom's house

It also happens that the young go to the groom's house, and he introduces them to his chosen one, and the bride gives flowers to his mother. They then ask the bride about her and her family and then give them their blessing. Matchmaking by the groom can also happen like this: the groom sends matchmakers to his future wife. Parents can act as matchmakers, he can come on the second day to accept the blessing.

To date, the scenario of the matchmaking of the bride and groom is basically one that makes it possible to discuss all wedding issues. It includes counting the number of guests, then determining where the wedding will be celebrated, what menu to order, how to decorate banqueting hall and so on.

Matchmakers from the groom came to the bride's house

Both the old and the modern scenario of the bride's matchmaking is as follows: the headman from the groom comes to the house of the bride's parents. It must be an adult representative man: father, brother, grandfather, uncle or closest relative. The groom is silent and only answers the questions of the bride's parents. Matchmaking usually begins with the words: “You have a product, we have a merchant,” they must tell their parents from the door what and for what purpose they came.

The groom's matchmakers usually praise him, telling how good and skillful he is. They talk about his occupation, education, lifestyle, wealth, and what a wonderful husband he will be for their daughter. If a matchmaker or matchmaker without complexes, then they can conduct matchmaking in a playful and joking manner, after taking funny script for the parents of the bride. You can come up with scenario options yourself or take from the Internet, magazines. You can play a scene in the form of a comedy with various contests and jokes, so in a playful way you can clarify all questions and formalities.

No matter what the scenario is, the groom must take care of the symbolic gifts for the bride's parents. Usually they give flowers or some souvenirs to remember the matchmaking. Pleasant little things can always smooth and decorate acquaintance, as well as improve communication between people. Try to diversify the matchmaking scenario so that it is fun and interesting, and most importantly, both the groom and the bride's parents will remember for life.

What to give the parents of the bride during the matchmaking

Once upon a time, gifts were not given during this ceremony, but today it is very important. If the groom does not strictly observe the ceremony of matchmaking, then he may well (like everyone else give) give a small gift. For example, the father of the bride is given good alcohol, books, a gift pen. If he is an avid fisherman, then you can give him a fishing rod, it all depends on his type of activity. The mother of the bride is given sweets, jewelry, a picture, figurines, household items. It also depends on her preferences and hobbies. The main goal of the groom is to please the bride's parents, so he must do his best.

What should be on the table during the matchmaking

Particular attention should be paid to snacks and dishes that are on the table. Of course, it is not at all necessary to set the table, but it will be ugly and inhospitable not to invite guests to the table, especially if they have come from a distant road and want to rest and eat. The presence of alcohol on the table is also not necessary, but, as a rule, alcohol relaxes and brings together.

Wedding traditions

The courtship of the groom, in which he visits the house of his beloved, came from us from ancient times. Previously, special attention was paid to traditions, but today who wants to, he observes. But many people are superstitious and follow the custom of their ancestors. October 14 (the feast of the Intercession of the Holy Virgin) is considered the most favorable day for matchmaking, 3.5,7,9 were also considered favorable dates, and the days of the week: Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday. Going to the girl to woo, the elders or the groom were silent all the way, and left the house when the sun went down, so as not to jinx it. When the matchmaker was going to go to the bride, they threw a bast shoe in his back, and the matchmaking process itself was carried out standing up so that marriage would come faster.

The headman begins the conversation with a story about who they are and where they came from, what obstacles they overcame along the way and why they came. You can tell something in the form of a fairy tale, they say, a hero has been growing in our family for twenty years, handsome, brave, courageous, hardworking. And then one day he dreamed of a red maiden of incredible beauty. And he sees in a dream that she lives here, so show your red maiden. You can also say that life without her is not sweet to him, since then he has not slept, has not eaten, and everyone dreams about her. The scenario can be different, there are a huge number of options.

And the matchmaker from the bride's side answers: we have a girl - red and not one, but several, and one is more beautiful than the other. And they take out one girl (a man in disguise), and then another, a third, and the groom and his matchmakers keep repeating: not that one, not that one. And then the real bride is taken out, the matchmakers begin to check her. To do this, they have a script according to which they begin to ask different questions and check what kind of hostess she is, whether she is kind, sincere, honest, economic and much more. The girl will pass an easy test and they will begin to praise her, then she will be given poems and songs.

And then everyone goes to the table to get to know each other better and discuss all the issues of the wedding. Then the matchmakers from the bride's side begin to check the groom: whether he is suitable for her husband. They ask you to hammer in a nail, bring water and much more. For each matchmaking there is a different scenario, which includes: poems, songs, stories, jokes and much more.

Matchmaking is an ancient rite, the purpose of which is to ask for the hand of a girl from her close relatives. Most often, these are the parents of the girl. In the role of matchmakers from a man, his parents, godparents, uncles, older brothers or grandfathers can act. Sometimes close friends of the groom take part in the matchmaking.

In contact with

In Rus', before the matchmaking, there was a family council in the groom's house, after which matchmakers were sent to the bride. They came to the house with songs and dances, jokes and jokes, and only in this way could the girl find out that they wanted to marry her.

Today, rituals no longer have the same importance with which they were treated before. However, even now, matchmaking is a sign of respect for the bride's parents, because the whole life of the young will depend on what kind of relationship will be established initially between relatives.

How does marriage work

• if the father and mother were not opposed to giving their daughter to the groom, then they regaled the guests with a pie, and often met them with a loaf.
  A joint meal meant that soon there would be an engagement.
• if they wanted to refuse the guy, then they returned the whole loaf to him.
• the most successful day for matchmaking is Pokrov (October 14).
• marriage is not accepted on Wednesday, Friday or the 13th day of the month.
• negotiations were carried out standing, as if on the move, so that the marriage would happen as soon as possible.
• on the way to the bride's house, they kept silence, and went out after sunset, fearing the evil eye.

There are no clear rules for conducting matchmaking by the groom, but it can take place in two versions: the first, when only matchmakers come from the groom, the second, when the groom also participates in the ceremony. The parents of the bride are pleased with the attention of the groom, it is customary to give them small gifts. It is obligatory for the groom to bring flowers to the mother of the bride and the girl herself. It is customary to give father expensive cigars, tobacco or alcohol. If he doesn't have any bad habits, it is better to clarify the gift options with your beloved. And she may well ask her father directly. It will not be considered shameful.

You need to seriously approach the choice of clothes for the future groom. Preference should be given to a strict suit. This will impress the girl's relatives and add seriousness to the intentions. In the case of the participation of matchmakers in folk costumes, the groom must also match.

Both ancient and modern options matchmaking by the groom implies that the matchmakers are talking. The groom must remain silent and answer the questions of the bride's parents. By tradition, matchmaking begins with the words: “We have goods, you have a merchant ...”, that is, guests from the threshold report the purpose of their arrival. When they have already entered the house, the matchmakers praise the groom, talk about his qualities, education, skills, successes and prosperity. Then the bride's parents talk about her. A young man is asked questions about his plans for life, for a bride, about his attitude towards children, religion, if this is a critical issue. Very often such topics are discussed that the bride and groom did not even touch. And if all is well, the matchmaking ends with a positive decision of the parents.

Then they already agree on the bride, when the bride and her parents come to the groom's house. And there is already a discussion of issues directly related to the wedding day: budget, guests, date and much more.

If you still want the matchmaking to be in a folk style, then do not forget that matchmakers should be incendiary, talkative and without complexes, so that the tradition does not turn into a boring duty. Everything can go according to this scenario:

Today, matchmaking remains only a tribute to tradition. But after all, this rite is very important from the point of view that it allows you to clarify many issues in advance. Indeed, at this moment, the elders seem to share their experience with the young, finding out those details that the young may not even think about due to their age. And much better if living together will begin with the consent of all parties.

Wedding chores are always pleasant. However, a wedding is always preceded by an engagement. It is now that this custom has not been given so much attention, as a rule, the newlyweds simply inform their relatives that they are going to formalize the relationship. But earlier, the matchmaking of the bride was one of the most important ceremonies, moreover, incredibly beautiful. Some couples keep the tradition today. Do you want to know more about the ancient rite, what has changed in it and how to conduct matchmaking today? Then - read on!

long tradition

Many, out of inexperience, believe that during courtship, customs are made, a ring is presented. Not at all. Today, the ceremony of matchmaking is perceived as the acquaintance of parents by the bride and groom. This ceremony in the modern sense is a very responsible event, for which the parties are preparing in advance: future fathers and mothers-in-law buy formal dresses, and fathers-in-law and mothers-in-law set plentiful tables.

But before, everything was completely different. Not only the groom's relatives gathered for the matchmaking ceremony. For this action, matchmakers were hired, it was on their shoulders that important negotiations fell, for example, matchmakers discussed what size of dowry the bride would have.

As a rule, the appearance of matchmakers was unpredictable, no one can predict this event in advance. It was believed that the effect of spontaneity would not allow the bride's family to hide their household, or, conversely, embellish it, and at the same time, the future bride.

And one more very important nuance. The decision about the upcoming wedding (whether it will be or not) was made not by the young (as it is happening now), but by their relatives.

Traditional script

Once upon a time, the scenario of the bride's matchmaking meant that the matchmakers visited the potential bride's family several times. Moreover, making a decision about the upcoming wedding immediately after the first visit was considered a sign of bad taste. It is not surprising. The bride must "keep the mark" after all! Yes, and relatives for matchmaking from the side of the bride could not give the “goods” to the first person they met. However, there was a high probability that after the first visit, in case of refusal, the matchmakers would no longer return.

To prevent this from happening, the daughter's parents asked for time to think, consult with other relatives, and find out more about the groom.

If everything went as it should, the matchmakers returned again after a few days. If the verdict was positive, they discussed the date of the wedding, expenses, dowry and "compensation". After negotiations, future relatives (mother-in-law with father-in-law) were invited to visit to see where and how their beloved daughter would now live. Only after that the groom could meet with his wife.

engagement tradition

After the matchmaking, which could take more than one day, an engagement was organized. It was during the engagement that the bride and groom officially promised each other, a ring was presented, the young people exchanged oaths in front of the altar and witnesses that the wedding would certainly take place according to mutual desire.

Today, engagement is a completely different act. For some, this is the moment of presenting a ring to a girl, for others - an announcement of an upcoming wedding, for others - family gatherings during which the parents of the future spouses officially meet. And for some, the engagement is considered the day when an application is submitted to the registry office. But in any case, the engagement is considered the first step to the preparatory wedding events.

The tradition of modernity

Most of the centuries-old rituals, unfortunately, have sunk into oblivion. However, the ceremony of matchmaking occurs today. True, matchmaking scenarios are different, they have become more modern. So, if you want to have a wedding according to all the traditions, to find out how the matchmaking of the bride goes, listen to our advice.

Modern matchmaking involves a certain preparatory stage. IN different countries rituals acquire local flavor, have their own differences.

Lucky dates for marriage

So, first of all, decide on the day and date. It is believed that unsuitable days for wooing are Wednesday and Friday. In addition, you cannot send matchmakers to the bride on the 13th. The most suitable and successful numbers are 3, 5, 7, 9.

Today they do not use special ceremonial items. Previously, this action could not do without a towel (it was embroidered in a special way, with certain patterns), special dishes. Also, the ceremony took place according to the script - the speeches and actions of all relatives were prepared in advance. The girl was silent all the time while the matchmaking was going on, quietly raking the ashes from the stove. She had no right to turn to the matchmakers. Today, the girl simply does not leave her room.

Before the ceremony, the groom certainly prepares two bouquets. Flowers have their own symbolism, so it is better to find out about it in advance. So, if a girl is young, it is not customary to give her lush, rich bouquets. It is better to do with roses of delicate shades. For the mother of the bride, a bouquet should express honor, respect, admiration.

Script Example

So, you thought and guessed for a long time and nevertheless decided to arrange a matchmaking according to all traditions. To make it fun and not boring, you should plan everything in advance and even rehearse. By the way, the main character in the matchmaking is the matchmaker from the young. Don’t take just anyone for this role, the matchmaker should have a tongue, not have complexes, otherwise - write wasted.

All actions during matchmaking are accompanied by certain words. Of course, they can be very different. But the essence comes down to one thing. Here is what the participants of this action should say.

Start of the show

So, act out the situation. The guests are waiting at the house of the matchmakers, the latter are arriving. The bride at this time is waiting in her room, and does not show herself to anyone. The guests are delighted in chorus: “They are coming! Matchmakers are coming! At this time, the girls present can sing a folk song about love, the main thing is that it be positive and kind, with a happy ending. A variety of ditties are also appropriate.

At the meeting, the matchmaker from the side of the groom greets everyone: grandparents, aunts, uncles, brothers and sisters. He says that the path was not close, that it took a long time to get there. But they overcame all the difficulties, because they arrived with a very important mission - they say, there are clear falcon they, who had a wondrous dream, in it appeared to the falcon a red-haired maiden, a beautiful firebird. Since then, the falcon has not eaten or slept, everything is thinking about her. And the relatives of the falcon decided to find his betrothed, asked for help from a magic staff, and he brought the matchmakers to this house. Naturally, all words are pronounced in a playful, comic form.

After such a stormy introduction and greeting, the bride's matchmaker comes into play. Again, in a joking manner, he says that he has no idea who he is talking about, that there are many beautiful red girls in the house.

There is no limit to the surprise of the matchmaker on the part of the groom, she asks permission to take everyone at once, to which the groom objects: “No, I don’t need everyone, my soul yearns for one!” The matchmaker of the groom, in confirmation of his words, echoes: “Yes! Any swan will not suit our falcon ”and suggests that the guy himself start looking for his only one. After the consent of the girl's parents, he enters the house and takes his bride out.

The groom's matchmaker enthusiastically exclaims: “Of course, she is beautiful, blush, slender. No wonder the falcon spent so much time drying over it. But we have prepared some tests for the swan.” A matchmaker scatters change on the floor or on the ground. The test begins, during which the girl must show that she is not lazy and can bend down to collect coins. The girl puts the coins in her pocket, and if someone asks for money, she refuses. The matchmaker immediately notices: “Economical! But I have one more question: how much buckwheat do you put in borsch - a spoon or a glass? The girl replies: “And I put meat in borscht!”. Everyone nods their heads in approval.

Bread is an essential attribute of matchmaking

After the test, the time comes for the main question: does the girl agree to marry young man? As a sign of consent, she must cut the bread into 4 equal parts. And treat each of them to those present: the first two parts - he presents, bowing, to the groom's parents, the second - to his own.

After that, the groom’s matchmaker “marks” the bride so that no one else will take her away before the wedding. With the words: “We will mark with a little thing,” they give the bride a ring. After that, the woman notes that the groom's turn has come to show himself in business. The guy is given a hammer with nails and he drives a carnation into the threshold of the house. After the “work”, the groom gives gifts to the future mother-in-law and father-in-law: “The father-in-law is given a hammer so that there is sense in the relationship, and the mother-in-law gives a chocolate bar so that the wedding is smooth.”

Simplified version of marriage

There is another, more simplified scenario, for those who do not like to overly theatricalize their actions. After a stormy meeting, the groom enters the house, gives flowers, gifts to the chosen one and her parents. By the way, it will be very original if the groom steps over the threshold with a loaf in his hands - after all, a tribute to tradition.

Table gatherings are held under the auspices of praising the bride, and everyone praises her: parents, girlfriends, relatives: oh yes, smart girl, oh yes, beauty!

Hearing all the praising of the bride, the groom completely melts! Now is the time to confess your feelings to the young. By the way, it is very original if it is done in poetic form.

The tradition of matchmaking came to us from our ancestors. This is a very interesting and unusual pre-wedding ceremony, which has many rules. On it, the families of the young get to know each other and agree on a wedding.

For everything to go well, you should plan the event in advance. It can be modern, with lots of cool ideas. Or traditional. It all depends on the personal preferences of each family. You can watch a video that will tell you how best to cope with the upcoming task. It is customary to conduct matchmaking at home, in a family setting.

Make a menu, the table should be rich. Prepare a variety of dishes so that the groom's relatives enjoy the treat. Traditionally, it is customary to meet matchmakers with a loaf and salt. For creating Have a good mood you can turn on the music and organize dances. Modern script in this regard, it does not differ from that adopted by our ancestors.

According to tradition, the groom should give a bouquet of flowers to the bride and her mother. Big and expensive gifts the bride’s family should not do it, it’s enough to limit yourself to fruits and sweets. The groom's family should traditionally cook the loaf. But if you want to please future relatives, here is a list possible gifts for woman:

• Silk scarf or warm shawl.
• Expensive perfume. But you should not give preference to this gift if you do not know about the preferences of the person to whom you plan to give it.
• Book. This could be a collector's edition that will delight the lover of literature.
• Home decor: figurine, vase, photo frame.

What suits a man:

• Wine, elite cognac and other alcoholic drinks.
• If a person smokes, buy expensive cigarettes for him.
• Home tools.
• Technique.
• Accessory for the car.

Gifts should be practical. You should not spend big money if you are not absolutely sure that your present will please a person.

dowry

Accepted at the wedding agree on the amount. In Rus', dowry collection traditionally began long before the wedding. It usually includes dishes, towels, bed linen. Can buy household appliances if the budget allows. These items will be useful to the bride and groom in their future life together.

A properly drawn up script guarantees a successful celebration and brings a lot of pleasant emotions, which is why it is so important to pay attention to it. Here are the main stages of the event.

1. Matchmakers arrive at the bride's house. They are greeted with songs and ditties.
2. Relatives get to know each other. The groom gives the brought gifts and treats the parents of his betrothed with a loaf.
3. After the acquaintance, the guests are invited to the laid table.
4. The bride comes out to the guests, whose parents describe her positive qualities, praising their daughter in every possible way.
5. At this stage, it is customary for the groom to confess his feelings to the bride and give her a ring.
6. If the bride's parents agree to the marriage, then the matchmaking can be completed with fireworks and dancing.

The arrival of the matchmakers agreed in advance by both parties. There are good and bad days. Numbers 3, 5, 7 and 9 bring happiness and good luck. Try to invite guests on one of these days. It is undesirable to conduct matchmaking on Maslenitsa. Also try to avoid the thirteenth number.

Matchmakers should be greeted cordially so that they feel the comfort and hospitality of your home. The bride comes out to the guests only after they sit down at the table. Relatives should praise her. It would be appropriate to make a toast to the happiness of the young. As a rule, it is said by the oldest and most respected member of the family. The toast can be prepared in advance so as not to get lost at the event.

In turn, the groom must prepare a speech, in which he confesses his love for the bride and demonstrates his feelings. After recognition, he must solemnly ask for the hand of his chosen one from her parents. Having received a blessing from the elders, the matchmakers lead the young to the center of the room and join their hands. The groom puts a ring on the bride's finger. It is believed that it should be decorated gem. If you believe in the energy that stones possess, then first read about their properties. Try to choose a light and not very bulky stone.

Matchmaking in the Kuban is noisy and fun. It does not differ from the holiday in other regions of Russia. But it is worth considering the traditions of each nation, which may differ from each other. The modern scenario may differ from the traditional one. The most important thing is to have fun and be glad for the happiness of the young.

Matchmaking by the bride, what to say to relatives, what to ask the groom's family? Let's answer this question. Do not ask too many questions, this can confuse the young man and his family.

Write down possible topics for conversation in the script in advance. This is necessary so that there are no awkward pauses at the table. Below is a list of topics and questions that can be covered:

• future plans;
• the groom's thoughts about what an ideal marriage should be;
• Favorite leisure activities: hobbies and hobbies.

Avoid talking about financial and personal matters. Remember that the conversation must take place in open, friendly atmosphere.

The groom's side can also talk to the bride. During the conversation, she should behave quietly and modestly. You can not interrupt the elders and raise intonation. On this day, it is important to make a good impression on future relatives.

Competitions for guests

We wrote above that the scenario can be very unusual. Some families arrange funny contests, which we will discuss below.

1. To hold this competition, you should write in advance on small pieces of paper the various activities that the husband and wife will do after the wedding. For example: swimming with dolphins, drawing on the pavement, going to the solarium together. The guests take turns taking them out and discussing the answers together. The more unusual they are, the more fun the competition will be. Show your imagination!
2. Guests should remember and sing wedding songs. The winner can prepare a small present in advance. Music brings people together and lifts the mood.
3. Please your parents, organize a competition for them. Find out in advance the history of their acquaintance and ask questions related to it. This will set all guests in a romantic mood and create an atmosphere of love and warmth.

Folk omens

Not only in ancient Rus' people believed in omens. We very often pay attention to various signs and try to interpret their meaning. Below we give the main signs associated with the tradition of matchmaking.

• If you meet a man early in the morning, this is a sign that the matchmaking will be successful.
• The distribution of alms to the needy is encouraged by the people. If you want to receive God's blessing, give money or food to those in need.
• If a spoon or fork falls on the day of the matchmaking, then your guests are in a hurry to your house.

Even before discussing the celebration itself, the bride and groom decide whether to arrange a traditional Russian matchmaking or a Western one. However, more and more often, the bride and groom give preference to long-standing Russian customs and rituals designed to protect the young family from adversity. Whether the groom should woo or whether it is an outdated custom and the consent of the bride is enough is a moot point. Matchmaking is not always arranged for the sake of traditions and protection from evil spirits, it is also a veiled acquaintance of the relatives of the bride and groom, as well as great way have fun.

Of course, the observance of absolutely all Russian traditions in our time is impossible, so the bride and groom can choose some of them, the most pleasant and cheerful. From those rituals that seem absurd, it is quite possible to refuse. For example, it used to be customary for a girl to meet the matchmakers silently, sitting by the stove, with her back to the guests, and the matchmakers, entering the house, slammed the doors three times. Looking for a stove and slamming doors in the house of the bride's parents these days doesn't seem like a good idea. The simpler and more fun the matchmaking is, the better.

How to marry the groom's parents

According to the rules, the groom's parents must be present at the matchmaking. This does not mean that they must necessarily be matchmakers. Previously, professional matchmakers were hired for this. They, being subtle psychologists, skillfully conducted a conversation with the bride's parents.

• If, nevertheless, the groom’s parents play the role of matchmakers, then at the entrance to the house they must say the classic “You have goods, we have a merchant” and praise the groom in every possible way. This matchmaking item is optional, but it can be quite fun. The times when the owners could refuse matchmakers, disgracing them to the whole village, are long gone. Matchmakers actively praise the groom, and the bride's parents jokingly belittle his dignity. In such a comic form, the meeting of matchmakers takes place, and the bride, in the absence of a stove, may well be hiding in her room.
• After the matchmakers convinced the bride's parents that it would be better not to find the groom, the guests were invited to the table, and negotiations began. So, the dignity of the bride, the cost of the wedding were discussed. Nowadays, roles can be assigned. For example, the groom's parents are looking for and , and the bride's parents are looking for and .
• In the past, matchmaking was more magnificent than a wedding. Now this is no longer relevant, since the bulk of the guests come precisely to the wedding. Therefore, it is not necessary to excel in treats or lead everyone to a restaurant. It will be enough if the owners feed the matchmakers so that they are full and satisfied.
• The groom's parents can bring an embroidered in a special way towel, if you wish. But modern matchmaking does not lose its charm even without a towel.
• If the matchmakers and the groom's parents nevertheless decided to observe the rite of slamming doors, they should be careful in this matter. It will be somewhat unpleasant if guests damage an expensive front door or slopes. This is a purely symbolic gesture designed to deceive evil spirits. The first time they slam the door lightly, the second - a little harder, and then they come in.

• The groom's parents should be more correct when "examining" the bride. Previously, such an inspection could reach the point of absurdity, but now it needs to be turned into a joke. To belittle the dignity of the bride, thereby knocking down the price of the ransom, must be extremely careful so that the future wife does not remember later on every anniversary how the matchmakers offended her. You can, for example, ask: “Does the girl know how to sew and wash, is she a good housewife? Her hands are so white and well-groomed. And in any case, do not mention the defects in appearance - crooked teeth, too thin, etc.

Is it possible to get married without the groom's parents

There are times when the groom's parents cannot be present at the matchmaking for one reason or another. If they are alive, healthy and live nearby, but for some reason could not come, after the matchmaking, the bride and groom can visit them.

Often, young suitors resort to the help of matchmakers, while men over 30 prefer to do everything on their own. If, nevertheless, the groom comes alone, he must independently think over all his steps.

• The groom must buy flowers before the matchmaking and be responsible in choosing a bouquet. should be gentle, but magnificent, and the bouquet for the future mother-in-law should be modest, but refined. In order not to offend anyone, you should not make this contrast too strong. For example, it would be indecent to arrive with a huge bouquet of tea roses for the bride and three tulips for her mother.
• Any relatives or even friends can be matchmakers, but the groom himself can make a speech in front of the bride's parents. In this case, he must think it over in advance. The groom needs to remember that his task is not to tell how he loves the bride, but to praise himself beloved so that the girl's parents want to accept such a son-in-law.
• Previously, even the most enviable groom could not get final consent to matchmaking. The bride's parents could choose a worthy husband for their daughter for years. But now this is a symbolic ritual, so the groom can calm down and come up with something sweet and a little fun instead of pathos.
• The first rule of good matchmaking is that the groom should not drink alcohol "for the sake of comfort" even before he arrives at the house of the bride's parents. Even if relations with the girl's parents have long been established and turned into friendly ones, you should not spoil the holiday with such troubles.

• In addition to flowers, the groom can buy a bottle of champagne or good wine, as well as treats (sweets, a heart-shaped cake, etc.). For the sake of observing traditions, champagne is not immediately shown, since purely theoretically there is a possibility of refusal. The groom should not be too obvious to show confidence that he will be accepted.
• Do not forget about

Clap your eyelashes and take off go. Your eyelashes are gorgeous and long.