“15 recipes for a happy relationship without cheating and betrayal. From the master of psychology" Irina Gavrilova-Dempsey

15 recipes for a happy relationship without cheating and betrayal. From the master of psychology Irina Gavrilova-Dempsey

(No ratings yet)

Title: 15 recipes for a happy relationship without cheating and betrayal. From the master of psychology
Author: Irina Gavrilova-Dempsey
Year: 2015
Genre: General psychology, Personal growth, family psychology

About the book “15 recipes for a happy relationship without cheating and betrayal. From the master of psychology" Irina Gavrilova-Dempsey

Every woman dreams of one day meeting a man who will carry her in her arms, and live with him until the end of her days in love, harmony and happiness. But often reality presents such unpleasant and sad surprises as betrayal, divorce, depression. You can almost forget about happiness here. But often the woman herself is to blame for the fact that her man leaves for another.

If you do not want this to happen in your life, you need to read the book by the famous psychologist and psychoanalyst on family relations Irina Gavrilova-Dempsey “15 recipes for a happy relationship without cheating and betrayal. From the master of psychology. The author talks in detail about what mistakes women make in their relationships, and what men need, how they react to certain situations, and why they leave.

A woman is much more emotional than a man. She needs love, she must feel needed, loved and, most importantly, the only one. You can do everything and in the end your man will go to another, or on the contrary, you can not even notice many situations, and then you will save your family. In fact, a man loves the sensations that he experiences next to his woman more than her. That is, if a woman is domineering, a man is unlikely to feel like a leader next to her, or a woman, on the contrary, constantly whines, is naughty, behaves like a child. Such a woman will not be able to support, understand, she even needs to be educated, and such a strong half of humanity, at least most of it, simply will not like it.

The book "15 recipes for a happy relationship without cheating and betrayal. From the master of psychology" reveals all the secrets of male psychology, knowing which you can better understand your soul mate, pay attention to those things that you did not even notice before, although they play a very important role in creating a strong family.

Achieving love and happiness is quite difficult. Irina Gavrilova-Dempsey shares her many years of work experience and life experience. Every woman on the path to happiness faces huge amount obstacles and disappointments. But in the end, if you do not make mistakes, you can achieve harmony in all its manifestations.

In addition, Irina Gavrilova-Dempsey in her book will help those women who are faced with the betrayal of their husbands. This is a real tragedy and a blow that many often cannot cope with. But after all, all of us deserve happiness, and it is important to take a philosophical look at the current situation, accept it, and work on our mistakes.

The book "15 recipes for a happy relationship without cheating and betrayal. From the master of psychology" will be useful to all women: those who are just planning to start a family so that they do not face problems in the future, and those who have already created it, but are afraid that the man will leave, and those who have been cheated on by their husbands in order to cope with this pain and start life anew.

On our site about books, you can download the site for free without registration or read online book“15 recipes for a happy relationship without cheating and betrayal. From the master of psychology" by Irina Gavrilova-Dempsey in epub, fb2, txt, rtf, pdf formats for iPad, iPhone, Android and Kindle. The book will give you a lot of pleasant moments and a real pleasure to read. Buy full version you can have our partner. Also, here you will find last news from the literary world, learn the biography of your favorite authors. For beginner writers there is a separate section with useful tips and recommendations, interesting articles, thanks to which you yourself can try your hand at writing.

Quotes from the book “15 recipes for a happy relationship without cheating and betrayal. From the master of psychology" Irina Gavrilova-Dempsey

It is impossible to forgive betrayal, you can forget it, oust it from memory, but the pain of betrayal will resonate dully in your heart for many years until you see something more than just betrayal in betrayal.

The people who come into your life are not random, they are a reflection of your inner parts.
It is not easy to accept this fact, because we cannot see these parts and very often we do not even feel them.
They live in the depths of the unconscious, creating our reality and attracting the right people to us.
Studying people from our lives, you can get a lot of information about yourself and about the contents of our unconscious.

Different people in different events cause you similar pain.

As the relationship progresses, you meet all the parts of yourself that you tried to hide from, that you don't like and don't accept. In the unconscious of your chosen one, his repressed parts also wake up, which neither he, nor even you, like.

When you face pain, it seems to you that the Universe wants to punish you. This is not true – the Universe wants you to think about your life and yourself.

Only when you give up the struggle with a man, from the hope of getting what you want in a relationship, through disappointment and pain, can you grow spiritually.
When you shift the focus only on yourself and find explanations for events through the prism of your participation, only then will you gain the ability for true love.
A woman, first of all, draws strength from spirituality, and if she is lucky, then this strength is transmitted by her mother, the feminine gender, and if not, then the woman will have to develop it on her own, taking lessons in relationships with a man or alone.

You can only provoke in another person what is inside you. Until you are aware of the mechanism of your behavior and the built-in defenses, you will not be able to change the status quo.
Refuse to blame others, stop feeling like a victim of their attitude towards you. You must understand that a person does what you unconsciously provoke him to do.

Life is so arranged that desires will always exceed the possibilities of their satisfaction. Only through disappointment and pain can you come to accept reality. As long as you have the hope of getting what you want at any cost, you will be doomed to suffering.
Relationships with a man reproduce your painful lesson not passed, as an attempt through repetition to gain experience, grow inside and heal.
When your needs are not met, you tend to feel angry, almost uncontrollable anger, and you lose the ability to control feelings and emotions.
This usually happens when you are spiritually close to a man.
If the relationship is superficial, the man has not entered your soul, then you successfully manage to maintain a safe emotional distance, you manage to control yourself and your feelings.
Only as the relationship gets closer, control weakens, and negative feelings break out.
These are the feelings of a child who is indignant and hates his parents for the inattention and dislike that he feels. That's why intimacy is so scary. The inner child, not in control of his feelings, causes guilt and shame, disgust and disgust, rejection and condemnation. It's hard to accept this part and love it.
In a relationship with a man, hunger and insatiability in love, fear crawl out.
Your feelings and behavior exactly copy a little girl, which, perhaps, you don’t even remember.
For this reason, you generally remember little from your childhood.
Your needs grow as the relationship develops. Your inner child breaks out more and more strongly, and in the behavior of a man you get what you did not receive in the close relationships of your childhood.
Your man cannot meet the needs of your child. It reflects one of your repressed parts, which means it is the hero of your inner theater.
The inner child not only does not get what he wants from a man, but he also cannot find satisfaction in your inner world.
Through a relationship with a man, you can begin to get to know your repressed parts, understand them, and through understanding, become empathetic, open up the strength for forgiveness and acceptance.

Each of us is at his own stage of spiritual development, and we attract people of the appropriate level. You can put it another way: everyone has their own problems inside, and, as a rule, the man in your life will reflect them.
If you think that your man is much worse than you, weaker, dumber, you don’t understand how he could enter your life at all, then this only means that you don’t know your real self.
You have created your own image, put on a mask behind which your essence skillfully hides, first of all, from yourself. In the depths of your soul lives exactly the same part, with problems, fears, like your husband.
Your man reminds you of some repressed part of you. I know how difficult it is to see yourself in a man and his actions, because these are repressed aspects.
Women's strength lies, first of all, in the ability of a woman to love, and many others are included in this ability. feminine qualities: patience, wisdom, respect, understanding, empathy, compassion, acceptance, forgiveness, flexibility, loyalty and devotion to oneself.
Love can be born only when a woman reaches a certain level of spiritual development. Love is vibrations that are created at a high level of soul and consciousness.

If you have the conviction that love is suffering, you will suffer.
If love is a betrayal for you, you will be betrayed.
In order for something to change in a relationship, you need to realize your erroneous beliefs.
And if in a relationship with a man you suffer, experience pain, it is only because it is so written for you.
If in a relationship with a man you only want to be loved by him, then most likely he will be unable to love you for a long time. In your unconscious there is no experience of a long love with a happy ending. As soon as you feel that the person is open and ready to love you, you will unconsciously destroy this relationship.
Your fears, suspicion, anxiety will create internal tension, which will not allow you to enjoy the idyll that has arisen for a short period of time.

Download for free the book “15 recipes for a happy relationship without betrayal and betrayal. From the master of psychology" Irina Gavrilova-Dempsey

(Fragment)

In the format fb2: Download
In the format rtf: Download
In the format epub: Download
In the format txt:

Often, many women go out of their way to please, to help their household, not at all paying attention to their own person.

How to love a man

The feeling of love is so individual and intimate that it seems as if our heart does not need anyone's advice on how to love a man correctly. You just need to love as you can, as you feel. And yet I would like to focus on the subtleties that exist in the relationship between a man and a woman.

The feeling of love inspires, gives incredible emotions, a sea of ​​\u200b\u200bjoy. But why does it sometimes happen otherwise, and happiness turns into tragedies, family troubles, exhausting quarrels, bringing mental pain?

They say, Advice is easy to give, hard to follow, especially if they relate to the field of relations between men and women. Otherwise, there would be disproportionately more people happy and contented with life. However, even dozens of efficient and wise advice they are unlikely to bring the desired results if they are not passed through themselves, they are not imbued with them, they are not harmonized with the inner “I”.

If a low assessment of a man has developed in unconscious thinking, you do not feel respect for him, then any attempts to become the right wife for him will not lead to harmonious relationships and will not give a feeling of happiness.

Advice should be aimed at helping a woman, first of all, to understand herself., to determine the existing shortcomings and complexes, to fully realize the feminine essence and perception of men. However, we must not forget that relationships depend, of course, on the internal state of each of the partners, the feeling of comfort or, conversely, discomfort.

The desire of a man to be near a woman and do the maximum possible for her, for the family is due to how much he feels like a man, being next to his soul mate. A similar state of a man depends on how the partner positions herself. Only feeling like a wise woman, she sees a man in her partner. But we are responsible for what is happening inside us, and we take care of our deep state, mood, only we ourselves.

In this regard, you should first reflect on us, women, and then take apart the second half of humanity and delve into the topic of why and how they love and what psychologists mean by the phrase: how to love a man.

12 main rules of a wise woman

1. Relations with a man should not be transformed into continuous duties, you should not deprive yourself of the elements of joy.

Having taken on a huge amount of work with overtime, and then all the household chores and everyday problems, a woman cannot feel happy in such a marathon. Regular overwork, constant lack of sleep cause energy depletion. And in this state it is a priori impossible to have any good mood nor joy. As a result, the negative spills out on loved ones, in particular, on a man.

2. Be sure to listen to yourself and your desires.

Often, many women go out of their way to please, to help their household, not at all paying attention to their own person. When it is a joy and brings satisfaction, energizing, great! But such actions often give a different result: caring for others is exhausting and tiring T.

There is only one recipe in this case - to remember and take care of yourself. How to do it? To begin with, relieve yourself of some of the responsibilities, redistributing them among all family members. The second step is to learn to refuse, saying a decisive “no”, and also to determine the boundaries of personal space both in the real and in the inner world.

3. Do not be obsessive in love, do not burden your partner with it, but do not demand constant attention and care from a man.

A woman should be wise, having an inner world filled with calmness, balance, harmony. The fear that has settled to be unnecessary, to remain lonely, the rejection of life without the presence of a man will play a cruel joke with you. In addition to your will, you will complicate, worsen relations, and therefore spoil your own being.

The formula for proper love for a man is based on partnership. You can’t get lost, lose yourself in a relationship, trying to become inseparable from your partner, encroaching on his personal space, and on your own too. Any woman needs, like air, to have her own interesting life. You should not sacrifice your favorite hobbies, refuse to communicate, move away from friends, focusing exclusively on a man, as on the most important object in life, forgetting about everything in the world and about himself, in particular.

4. Learn to take care of yourself internal state and enjoy doing homework.

For example, if you are working on cooking, then tune in in such a way that this procedure gives you joy, and is not a duty aimed at bungling something up, and the family does not remain hungry.

You definitely need to learn to experience pleasant emotions from any work that you do. Be sure to carve out some time for yourself in the morning to sit down with a cup of morning coffee or tea, savoring which will set you up positively for the day ahead.

5. Don't hold a grudge. Proper communication is a whole science, owning it, a person becomes successful.

Relationships with men are no exception. Therefore, you need to learn this wisdom. Of course, it is very difficult to restrain your emotions when you have been offended, insulted, upset.

It is necessary to strive so that your inner world is always normal, you cannot accumulate and hide grievances, past pain in it. They need to be dealt with in time and released. Necessary also get rid of the snares of negative attitudes, they so often interfere with enjoying and enjoying life. If you manage to get rid of them, then you will gain the ability to control yourself and your words.

When a woman is offended, she hurts, she tries to get rid of these painful sensations, clinging to the living and causing pain to a man. And he makes an irreparable mistake, since further mutual understanding becomes impossible.

The correct communication with a man will be your message about your feelings. You need to say: "I'm terribly angry," "I'm furious," or "I feel offended." After that, be sure to explain the cause of this condition and offer a way out that is acceptable to you.

This approach preserves the manhood of your half., while accusations against him always have a negative impact on a man and lead to a more serious aggravation of relations and mutual insults. Defend your point of view, your interests, desires should be peaceful and correct.

6. In a conversation with a man, be sure to control your facial expressions and intonations in your voice.

In addition to verbal communication, there is also a meaningful language of facial expressions and gestures. Sometimes he is so eloquent that he can tell much more than phrases, and convey to the partner that real attitude towards him that is hidden deep inside you. Often we can’t even imagine what lies inside us and that these deep feelings are far from always positive.

The bottom line is that you are deluded into thinking that you are building your relationship with a certain man. In fact, you build them based on the attitudes that are learned in the family where you grew up. They are absorbed from the mother, formed on the basis of how she treated her spouse, and in general to men.

7. In communication with a man, maximum openness is assumed without omissions and hints of feelings, desires, since men do not understand women's insinuations.

Often complexes do not allow a woman to ask for something. She is convinced that a man is obliged to guess about her aspirations and desires. But self-confident and wise women do not speak in blunt terms, but directly state their desires., and they do it right, because even the Gospel says: “Ask, and it will be given to you ...”

But the requests must be sincere. And you should always be ready to refuse, but at the same time, do not let yourself gnaw on doubts about the possibility of not fulfilling your request. And be patient, you need to educate it in yourself, because you can’t count on the agility from a man in fulfilling your desire. Each individual processes information differently. One will need a couple of days to comprehend and implement your request, the other will have to wait several months for the result.

Therefore, they expressed their request - and immediately forgot. But if this archive is important to you, then you can draw up your desire on a piece of paper and attach it in a conspicuous place. This will become a kind of reminder.

Self-confident women practically do not allow the possibility of refusal, but still, if they encounter such a circumstance, then they are not too upset about this. In any case, they do not regard this case as if they are not loved. Sincere requests addressed to a man make him feel his need, and, therefore, give confidence and strengthen the condition of a man.

8. The ability to be grateful, the ability to sincerely express gratitude and rejoice at the right actions of a man, and not focus on shortcomings - this is another principle that explains how to love a man correctly.

Living together under the same roof often leads to the fact that a man begins to be considered by a partner as her property, everything he does is taken for granted. As a result such important words like "thank you" or "thank you" drop out of the lexicon. But even if they are pronounced, they often become just on duty, but they should sound sincerely, from the bottom of their hearts.

How easy it is for us to thank other people, sometimes unfamiliar, for any service, and so we are stingy with words of gratitude for our man.

9. Do not paint in a negative way to the mother and girlfriends of your man, creating a negative image.

First of all, you yourself in this case do not appear in the very at its best because it was your choice. Other side of the coin: you form a negative characterization of your partner, set your loved ones against him. Therefore, if a crack appears in your relationship with a man, you are unlikely to find the necessary support if you want not to lose them. Most likely, they will convince you of the opposite, arguing that he is not worth you, he is not a match for you. So there is no need to take dirty linen out of the hut.

10. Find out the language of love that your partner understands.

For example, your efforts to restore perfect order in the apartment will be perceived by your spouse in a completely different way than you expected. It's important to him that you cook his favorite meal for dinner, but you didn't because you've been cleaning and he feels unwanted. Conversely, the other will not pay attention to a new tasty dish, but will notice that you have not washed his shirt.

It is impossible, and it is not necessary to be perfect in everything, it is quite enough to understand for yourself what your partner especially acutely feels your care and love for. This is the wisdom of a woman.

11. Respect is a must good relations so respect your man.

This feeling, unlike spiritual intimacy, is based on real successes and achievements. They can be in any area and do not necessarily come down to the material aspect. Every person has some traits for which he can be respected. It can be kindness, accuracy, practicality and much more. But the main thing is that a woman sees them and appreciates them.. From this it is clear that respect for a partner is expressed in not violating his personal space and fulfilling his desires.

It should be noted that men are very sensitive to pressure, in the event of an onslaught and pressure, their reaction is stubbornness. That's why a wise woman will never push, press on a partner. Why, if you can formulate and express your desires respectfully and correctly, giving a choice to a man.

12. And the last of the 12 rules of a wise woman says: discard all doubts and believe in your beloved man, in his talent, in his abilities.

To believe means to see in a person his potentialities. If you cannot find any talent or simply do not believe that a man is able to realize himself, then it is better not to link your fate with him, he is simply not yours. And you didn’t see his talents just because your visual acuity is different.

And now I will summarize and answer the question, Why should a woman take care of herself first?. The answer lies on the surface: but because a man is very sensitive to the mood and condition of a woman though he tries not to show it.

Almost everything that a man does, he does for a woman, his family. AND his desire to see his soul mate in a joyful and happy state becomes quite understandable. If a woman is constantly depressed, tired and nervous, then this is transformed into information: "I am a bad husband", "She is unhappy with me." And it is unlikely that someone will take pleasure in feeling unable to make the woman they love happy.

And how often do women make an unforgivable mistake, defiantly showing their displeasure and naively believing that this will make a man think and change his behavior. As a result, they get a completely different effect: the spouse closes in on himself.

Hence the conclusion follows that in search of a recipe for solving the problem - how to love a man correctly, a woman simply has to pay attention not only to her appearance, but also to take care of her inner world. Only by living in harmony with yourself, you can create a harmonious relationship with a man.published

There are many different subtleties and secrets in relationships and communication with each other.

Today I want to write about one little secret in a relationship.

It would seem that we can talk about so much and about everything and often do not think about whether we can really talk about our nature and our true desires.

The ability to talk about the present is the one little secret in a relationship that I would like to talk to you about.

Very often, a woman, having parted with a man, does not herself realize how she causes suffering to herself by her own actions.

One of the main problems of people is the inability to communicate in direct phrases, the inability to speak honestly and directly about their desires.

A woman, and men too, are afraid to speak directly about their feelings, preferring to fence fences in communication, hinting or trying to get what they want in a roundabout way.

Such ambiguous situations are created not only because a person is shy or does not know how to talk about real desires and needs, but often because a person himself does not fully understand his feelings and desires.

Sociability should not be confused with the ability to talk about the present, about what deeply touches and excites.

For some reason, talking about your feelings, the very thought makes many people feel ashamed. Most likely, they were often shamed in childhood, and the spontaneous manifestation of feelings was the object of condemnation and censure.

The child begins to understand for himself to be natural - this is shameful and subject to condemnation.

Faced with betrayal or separation, a woman is afraid, embarrassed, ashamed to tell a man about her love, that she misses him and has no idea how she will live without him.
There is no need to be afraid to talk about it and this is not a sign of lack of pride.

A woman creates ambiguous situations and then she herself begins to suffer in conjectures, but did her husband really fall out of love with her or did she do something wrong.

A woman does not need to be ashamed of her feelings and needs to tell her husband about them, about her feelings and desire to be together, and if after that the husband still prefers to leave, then at least you don’t lose anything from this, and even more so pride.

Pride is knowing your virtues and appreciating them. To be humiliated is to forget about them. You can talk about your love with dignity, and not like a beggar asks for food.

To have pride is to say once or maximum twice about your love and your desires, and then with dignity to let go and retire.

If he was going to leave, then it is, after all, his choice. But your soul, in case of revealing your feelings, will be calm from the knowledge that you have done everything to save the relationship and your husband.

In this matter, you do not need to go too far and impose yourself on a man, you do not need to talk about your love several times.

For such words, one direct explanation and expression of one's desires is enough.

Yes, it hurts to hear in response to your confession: I don't love you anymore! Or stumble upon a cold wall of silence and indifference.

At the same time, you should always remember: How others treat us is their karma, how we react to it is our karma.

Of course, it hurts to lose someone with whom you have lived for several or many years, but this pain will not be less if you provoke a man to show love to you with hints, blackmail and your game.

If a man loves, then he will not leave, if he wants to maintain a relationship with you, but he has accumulated grievances and claims against you, he will still find a way to tell you about it.
If it was his grievances and feelings of complete misunderstanding on your part that led to the breakup, then by confessing and speaking out your desire to be with him, you will help him start talking about his grievances.

After frank confessions and a conversation with him, if there is a chance to save the relationship, I would even say to continue on a new round. As a rule, after a breakup of relationships and an experienced internal separation, if the relationship has the ability to continue, then they really go to a completely new and different level.

A lot of people do not know how to communicate directly, to speak openly about their feelings.

Inside each sits a deep confidence that the other must feel and understand what you need.

Isn't this an atavism from a distant childhood, when a mother really should be sensitive enough to a child and, by his inarticulate sounds, understand what the child wants. Whether he wants to eat or drink, or maybe he just wants his mother to hug him and press him to her.
This belief sits in our heads and for many, love is the ability to feel another person.

Together with you, we must understand that a man or a woman is not attuned to the maternal wave and they may completely lack such a perception of a person. It is much easier for a woman to feel another person, this function is laid down by nature itself, men are completely different, they do not understand hints, they do not understand double messages. On the contrary, they are very annoyed by such behavior.

Do not be afraid to even tell a departing man about all your feelings and thoughts - this is the essence of a little secret in a relationship.

Even if he does not understand, even if he remains indifferent and he does not need it.
You do it, first of all, for yourself.

After a frank conversation, you will feel a little better. You will no longer suffer in conjectures and doubts. Everything will become clear to you and if love is gone, then let it go after going through the pain of loss, separation and parting.

Learn to talk about your true desires in small things. Learn to understand yourself and your desires. Be open with people and don't be frivolous in communication and relationships.

A woman, of course, attracts men with her mystery, but walking through the labyrinths in order to achieve her goals and desires is not a feminine mystery that can be attractive to men.

As soon as you learn how to voice your desires and needs, learn how to talk about your feelings, you will learn a little secret in a relationship that will open the door for you to a qualitatively different communication and a qualitatively different world.

Love to you, goodness and peace.

Irina Anatolyevna Gavrilova-Dempsey

15 recipes for a happy relationship without cheating and betrayal. From the master of psychology

© Gavrilova-Dempsey I., 2015

© LLC AST Publishing House, 2015

* * *

I have already read a dozen books about women's happiness. And it's not that I feel unhappy, but I always want more. To my surprise and joy, Irina's book turned out to be head and shoulders above similar literature. From the first lines you understand that the author's soul is invested in the book - everything is said so soulfully, so clearly and deeply.

Vasilisa, Moscow

This book made me rethink my relationship with my husband. It turns out that exactly what I did not pay attention to is almost the most important thing in family life. Thanks to Irina's invaluable advice, she managed to save her family and resurrect her old feelings again.

Olga, Stavropol

This is how it is customary for us: to solve a problem when it already exists. I used to do exactly the same, and as a result, so many deceived hopes and expectations! Then she said a firm "no" to herself suffering, picked up wonderful book and began to read. How well everything is said, every word! I am delighted!

Inna, Krasnodar

Finding a good book is not easy. This one is the most helpful! If you want to get rid of suffering and worries because of men, you will not find a better "textbook"!

Valentina, Tver

Oh, if I had come across this book 20 years ago, there would probably not have been three marriages behind my back and disappointments in men. But Irina gave hope to feel happy again. Thank you.

Anna, Saratov

Thanks

I would like to express my deep gratitude to my dear husband Michael Dempsey for always inspiring me and helping me in my work.

To my amazing son, Denis Gavrilov, who supports me and shows genuine interest in everything I do.

To my analyst, Sokolov S.E., for helping me pass my karmic lessons.

I thank my brother Pergaev Vitaly and his wife Pergaev Roza for being in my life.

I would like to thank my friends Olesya Landry, Elena Ivasenko, Elena Titova, Marina Nikulova for their help, love and kindness.

Dedicated to my beloved mother Tamara Grigorieva and my amazing father Anatoly Grigoriev

Introduction

God! Give me reason and peace of mind

Accept what I can't change

The courage to change what I can

And the wisdom to distinguish one from the other.

We fail to find joy and peace in life, often because we are trying to change what we cannot change. And we often give up and do nothing where we can change something.

A woman has a huge power that can change and transform the space around her.

This power of transformation is in our depths, so it is very important to take care of our inner state.

Each of us has our own story and our own path, but this is what unites us all.

From time immemorial we have been striving for happiness, it is very important for us to realize ourselves in love. Every woman wants to be loved and the only one for her husband. But the path to love is not easy. A woman meets many fears and doubts on this road. And how important it is sometimes to get advice, knowledge, hint, support, help in order to have the strength to move on.

This book is about love, about how to come to it, and about the obstacles that are encountered on the way to love and happiness, which bring great joy to the life of each of us. But often internal fears and unresolved problems turn the joy of love into suffering and everyday quarrels, showdowns and mutual recriminations.

Where there is love, there is often betrayal, this book will help you survive the betrayal and become happy again. I will share not only my 15 years of experience, but also, of course, mine personal experience. This book will help you find feminine wisdom, peace and harmony.

To be a wise woman, you must first learn to love yourself and take care of yourself.

If you want to bind a man to you, try not to be attached to him. It is paradoxical, but you need to keep a man by letting go.

The ability to let go is a luxury that comes with self-love. If harmony and order reign within you, and you know why you live on this Earth, then next to a man you will become even more beautiful and happier.

A man, oddly enough, loves not a woman, but his condition next to her. His love depends on HOW he feels next to the chosen one.

If he feels like a MAN next to you, he will try to do everything in his power. It is very important for him to be the BEST in your eyes. And with such a MAN you will feel like a real WOMAN.

A woman is waiting for a meeting with such a man, forgetting that first you need to accept a woman in yourself, first in the face of your mother. Only after that a man will come into your life whom you can love, and most importantly, respect. When you are in conflict with your mother, you are in conflict with your feminine nature. Seeing the MAN in your man is your responsibility. If deep in the unconscious you do not respect a man, and in your inner world he is already devalued, then no matter how hard you try to be happy, you will not succeed. And you will blame your husband for your misfortunes, asking yourself questions: why do the same situations regularly come into my life? Why do relationships with men develop according to a repeating scenario?

Nothing will change until you realize your contribution to all your own suffering and to everything that happens in your relationship.

Karmic lessons come into your life not to punish, but to show mistakes, give you the opportunity to correct them, receive healing and find the strength in yourself to change what you can change. And you can only change yourself.

Until you understand your lessons, your constant companions in different guises, until then you will live in suffering.

Often women do not understand the deep meaning of their suffering.

Faced with the betrayal and betrayal of their husband, they spend a lot of time fighting a rival in the hope of getting the man back, and after that they live for many years with resentment and anger at their husband. Resentment does not let go, even if he remained in the family.

The woman does not understand husband is her karmic teacher.

It is impossible to forgive betrayal, you can forget it, oust it from memory, but the pain of betrayal will resonate dully in your heart for many years until you see something more than just betrayal in betrayal.

In the process of understanding and mastering this lesson, you will change your attitude to what happened, you will see in your family life the recurring drama of your childhood. And only then, having understood and realized that there is no one to blame or everyone is to blame, you will find the strength in yourself for understanding and real forgiveness, which will lead you not only to healing, but also to spiritual growth and internal changes. To a different perception of the world, relationships and yourself.

The purpose of writing this book was my great desire to help you change your outlook on some life events, to help you understand what problems you need to solve. To help come to love and happiness, to peace of mind and harmony.

Karmic life lessons

In a relationship with a man, a woman goes through her karmic lessons:

1. There are no random people.

2. Loving and needing love are two different things.

3. How beliefs affect relationships.

4. Love for a man begins with love for yourself.

There are no random people in our life

Despite the experiences, the woman has an amazing opportunity to be healed. Over the years of my work, I have listened to many different women's stories. And, unfortunately, always sad, filled with pain and suffering.

Happy women don't come to me... They rarely go to psychologists at all - happiness is not customary to "treat".

You know that we have consciousness, and there is something unconscious, and the scripts for your relationships already exist in the depths of this unconscious. When you meet a man, you are only replaying a relationship record that was made as a child.

The unconscious is a huge part of the psyche, access to which is closed to consciousness.

The conscious lives its own life, the unconscious lives its own. The actions and motives of the unconscious are unknown to us, but they no less affect our lives and relationships. We do not notice this influence, but we feel it.

Have you noticed that very often your conscious desires cannot be realized in any way?

becomes attached to a man, he loses interest in her.

Why is it so widely believed that men like Snow Queens?

In fact, there are many reasons for such an opinion.

Let's imagine the following situation:

The weather is terribly hot. You are terribly thirsty. And here in front of you is a cool wide lake, with seductive clear water. But here's the problem: you were told that terrible huge predatory fish live there that can bite you.

You can no longer endure the terrible heat and thirst, the desire to swim and cool off is stronger. You carefully enter the delightful, refreshing water surface, carefully looking around. Not seeing the source of the threat, you start to swim. And then a small fry touches your skin! You start to panic and frantically try to fight off an invisible enemy.

Was there a real reason for your fear? Yes and no.

The cause of the panic that arose was not a lone fry that accidentally hit you. The real reason was the information received earlier.

How can you draw a parallel between a beautiful lake and love? I think we can conclude the following: you are afraid love and relationships before they even exist. There has long been a belief in the subconscious that if you open up to feelings, you will lose a man’s interest in you. This belief did not appear at all as a result of unsuccessful relationships, they are only a consequence of it. And the fear of love originated in childhood, in relationships with parents.

The result of subconscious belief is that you attract the appropriate men to you, or you yourself push relationship to such a result.

The more you open up to a man, get used to him, the more sensitively you perceive manifestations of love from the chosen one. This way you get into the weak spots of your subconscious. I.

Starting to open up to the world of feelings, to trust a man, you become vulnerable, since the sensitive side of your personality is your weakness. And we treat our weaknesses with increased attention and react sharply to them.

Having noticed that after the appearance of interest on your part, the man changed his behavior and habits, became less ardent in expressing his feelings, it seems to you that the reality has changed - he has become more indifferent, because you experience reciprocal feelings. You react to the slightest irritant from outside as the beginning of a global catastrophe.

What is really happening?

You should start with the man's attitude towards you. He is interested in you as a woman, and focuses all his attention and energy on attracting you. When he feels a response from you, the appearance of warm feelings, he relaxes, being confident in your attitude towards him. Now he can devote some time to other aspects of his life - work, family, friends. You begin to feel that his concentrated attention is now scattered to other things, and you think that you are the reason for this.

We can assume the second option - he was afraid of the possibility Serious relationships. This suggests that your man has not yet experienced serious feelings, or experienced, but was disappointed in them and is afraid of repetition. In such a situation, he closes himself in order to think about the situation, and you think about his indifference to you.

There may be other reasons as well. It's just not worth looking for the right reason in such a situation.

The psychology of relationships can be compared to the change of time in a day: you go to bed with pleasure and wake up with no less pleasure, full of strength, energy and plans for the coming day. You are not upset that you have to go to bed after dark. So it is in love: periods of passion, emotionality, ardor, are replaced by tenderness, calmness, rest.

During changes in the atmosphere in a relationship, the main thing is confidence.

A woman who is confident in herself is confident in a relationship. Often, during a change in the atmosphere in a relationship, a woman first of all thinks about her guilt. She tries with all her might to make a man pleasant and comfortable, but she always associates changes in his mood and behavior with herself. In her love and devotion, she forgets that the chosen one can come from work to bad mood due to fatigue or temporary failure in business.

If you were self-confident, you would not pay attention to many details that do not carry seriousness, it would be easier to perceive the behavior of a man. Attaching importance to trifles, you are offended, and this gives rise to serious problems against the background of misunderstanding of each other. Capturing every intonation in your voice, every change in facial expression, word, action, you come up with something that doesn't really exist.

Opposite situations are not excluded, when a woman is so immersed in herself that she does not notice anything around - for example, that a man has really “burned out” and no longer has warm feelings for her.

Attachment is one of the most common relationship problems.

Sometimes it happens - it is vital for a person to be with another person. An affectionate person acts as a psychological vampire - he just needs constant nourishment, which is the second person. Thanks to the constant feeding of the partner’s emotions, a good mood and a comfortable psychological state of the first person are maintained.

Such relationships gradually deplete the second person, leading to chronic fatigue. The partner seeks to leave the relationship for a while, move away, restore his energy state. Giving yourself to a loved one, feeding him with your emotions, you lose yourself as a person, turning into a shadow.

An affectionate person always arouses in those around him a desire to take care of him, to help. He most often evokes an association with a child who constantly needs to be protected and directed on the true path. But not everyone knows how to establish contact with children, and constant attention wears out over time.

If a man understands that his chosen one vitally needs his attention and love, in the first minutes he is afraid that she will not be able to overcome her immoderate desire. Especially if a woman not only needs help and support, but demands to give herself continuously.

A man is afraid of a great responsibility, which they suddenly try to impose on him against his will. Small child who tries to keep his mother in all possible ways, not allowing her to devote time to herself or other household members, is able to temporarily get bored with her own mother. The adult situation a man and capricious woman nothing better.

The affection and dependence of an adult woman expresses her inner child who demands to constantly give him love, but does not know how to give it to others. This is similar to the desire of a baby to look good in the eyes of his mother in order to get her for it. Love and attention.

By becoming attached to a man, you become more sensitive to yourself, acutely perceiving the slightest change in your attitude towards yourself. The perception of reality is distorted through a prism childhood experience. Being offended by the lack of attention to yourself, making accusations towards a man, you make him want to move away from you. He does not want only to give you love, attention and understanding. He also wants to be loved, understood and respected for his personal boundaries. But the "woman-child" cannot give it to him. And receiving constant claims increases his guilt, there is a feeling that he is not good enough for his woman.

The world of feelings is always hard for men. In a situation where he cannot understand any feelings, he emotionally closes down, takes a break.

Sometimes the “woman-child” is aware of her inner affectionate child, so she tries with all her might to hide it. This happens unconsciously, which looks like the opposite behavior to an affectionate child, which leads to the usual male reaction - moving away from you.

Sometimes a “woman-child” meets a “man-child”. In such a situation, the partner will experience the same feelings as you yourself - fear of relationships, flight from responsibility and seriousness. Relationships of this kind are like children's games of catch-up - the first catches up with the second, then they change roles and everything starts all over again. Partners simply do not know what to do if they stop running. They are afraid to really get close, they do not know how to make contact with each other, although they feel the need to do so.

Relationships require confidence and patience.

Faced with male coldness, detachment, a woman will need all her self-confidence and patience to wait out this period calmly. It is necessary to be prepared in advance for such periods and learn to experience such emotional pauses calmly. Of course, it is quite difficult to do this - men and women equally sensitively experience moments of coolness in relationships, the detachment of a loved one.

Many people in relationships are like houseplants - they are sensitive to environmental conditions, temperature levels. But if you want to grow a sustainable perennial tree from a small indoor flower, you need to learn to temper your feelings, to reduce your sensitivity to changes in the environment, which are expressed in emotional experiences.

Periods of coolness in warm feelings are a natural occurrence. A woman sensitively experiences even a temporary absence of contact with her beloved man, for example, when he leaves for work. At such moments, she just needs to remember that she does not need to depend on the relationship emotionally. Instead of worries about a temporary separation, you can take care of yourself, your favorite thing, and when you meet again, experience the joy of the closeness of your loved one.

Regulate the evenness of relations with the help of distances from each other. Leave for a few hours calmly, so that you can meet again soon.

To reduce your sensitivity, you must fully experience the pain. This does not mean that you need to live through a serious loss - stop worrying if your spouse could not call from work during the day, was late without warning, and similar trifles. Realizing that such situations occur independently of you, you will begin to realize your partner’s personal space, learn to calmly accept his fatigue from work and the desire to relax for an hour or two, closing himself in a room alone.

Partners are not props for each other. Life is a multifaceted thing: sometimes you need to help each other, sometimes you need to go on your own, but together.

Find harmony in yourself - and harmony in relationships will be provided to you. Learn to concentrate on a man, but at the same time do not forget about your business, yourself. Let him feel that in love you are his support, but this does not make you soft and comfortable in every situation.

In relationships, keep your feminine nature, balance your sides - strength and weakness, courage and shyness, confidence and doubtfulness - everything should be balanced.

Do you want to understand why men lose interest when you become attached to them? They are like karmic teachers, they want to make you understand yourself, understand the true meaning of your behavior and its consequences.

With love,
Irina Gavrilova Dempsey
www.irinagavrilovadempsey.ru