How to deal with a guy who. How to behave with a man

What to do if you constantly ask yourself: what to do if I don’t know how to communicate with guys, I’m very shy? To begin with, stop being afraid of your problem and be ashamed of it in front of others. In fact, there are a lot of modest girls around who just behave in such a way that no one even knows about their character and worldview. You can also become like that, you just need to reconsider some of your manners and views.

So, you should never be afraid of guys. In general, do not be afraid of people. In fact, we humans are not that far removed from dogs. When an animal fear of our unforgettable personas is felt in someone, we begin to feel like kings, and almost subconsciously we humiliate or insult the person so that he will continue to bring us this feeling. Therefore, never allow people to express themselves and assert themselves at your expense. You are no worse than all of them, and, most likely, even better. Think about why the person doesn’t like you and wants to offend you, perhaps it’s just envy.

Always remember that young people love self-confident, but not self-confident. Therefore, just behave naturally in the company of new acquaintances. You don’t need to set yourself up for the fact that they won’t like you, that they won’t be interested in listening to you. On the contrary, communicate with them as if you know that in a couple of hours they will already be stacked at your feet or called a friend.

Each person has a strong point, his own special "trick", which helps to conquer people. For some, this is a sense of humor, for others, intelligence, and for others, kindness. It doesn't really matter which feature it is. Just think carefully about what your friends and loved ones love you most of all, for what character traits you are praised and constantly singled out for. That's exactly what they need to be used as a real weapon. Direct this quality to new acquaintances and guys, develop it, and, over time, you will realize that it has become your strong point.

The reasons why a girl asks such questions as what to do if I don’t know how to communicate with guys are very shy, most often the lack of a male upbringing, which then affected the ability to find contact with men. Many young girls who grew up in incomplete families and were raised by their mothers and grandmothers simply do not know what to talk about with guys, how to behave. They absolutely do not understand the representatives of the male sex, so they are embarrassed, afraid to say something wrong. In addition, they may have an unpleasant aftertaste in their souls from childhood and adolescence when the guys offended them and humiliated them.

All this must be forgotten once and for all. Children are cruel, and therefore do not try to understand their peers. But those days are long gone. A normal guy will never hurt a girl. If he nevertheless acts in this way, it means that such a male and a man should not be called, and, moreover, continue to communicate with him.

Normal people can always appreciate your intelligence and sense of humor. So do not forget about these qualities when you start to communicate with someone. If a girl silently looks at the floor and struggles to say at least something, even the kindest and most positive people cannot stand the long company of such a madam. People who don't know how to carry on a conversation are simply annoying because they give the impression that they don't like company and treat others with disrespect.

Therefore, try to forget about fear. Of course, at first it will not be easy, but you must gather all your will into a fist and force yourself to let go of all fears and doubts. Just be yourself, the way you are in the circle of those closest to you. Never slouch, never lower your head, in general, do not choose for yourself the role of an unfortunate victim who is just waiting for the ax to fall on her neck. Of course, you don’t have to be overly self-confident and proud, especially if this image doesn’t suit you at all. Try to be moderate in everything and adequately perceive reality. In many companies there are not very pleasant personalities who can offend with a word. But that doesn't mean that everyone else will be the same. Therefore, for starters, at least try to ignore the offender with dignity. It will take a little time, and you will learn how to beautifully and culturally fight back. You just need to believe in yourself a little. This faith will be given to you by people who will reach out, begin to communicate and be friends with you. If you manage to captivate new acquaintances with you, soon they will definitely become your friends. But for this you need not to play a role, but to be real and natural.

Also, many girls complete because of their appearance. This can be fixed too. Ugly women it doesn’t happen, it’s just that some people don’t know how to emphasize their highlights at all. To feel like yourself, try changing your wardrobe, hair and makeup. Choose a style that can hide everything that you don’t like about yourself and emphasize the positive aspects. In addition, you can go in for sports, sign up for dancing, in general, come up with an activity that will positively affect your external data and skills, and also bring joy.

The answer to the question: “What to do. If I don’t know how to communicate with guys: very shy” lies directly in you. Every woman is attracted to men in some way. Someone with humor, someone with intelligence, someone with plasticity. Don't just look for correct solution and make some lady your standard. Remember that you are an individual, so your behavior must also be unique and individual. If you copy someone, you will only cause laughter and bewilderment. You should never be afraid of yourself. You are a smart, kind, peculiar, interesting person. You always have something that others, and, in particular, guys, can like. Just learn to show it without hesitation and without fear. And then, over time, it will be possible to forget about fear and embarrassment, and men will see in you a charming and self-confident girl.

A woman who goes on a date wants to be spontaneous and cheerful, to conquer a man with her open smile and sincere ease of communication. But often she begins to behave in a completely different way: she is shackled, lowers her eyes and cannot squeeze out words from herself. Can you be the master of your behavior? What are the causes of shyness and are there ways to overcome it? How to stop being shy when dealing with a status man?

Causes of stiffness

Upbringing. From childhood, girls are instilled with stereotypes of behavior that you need to be obedient and modest. Girls are told that in relations with young men one cannot show their interest in order to “value them more”. As a result, a constrained, clamped woman who cannot relax and be herself.

parent scenario. We subconsciously learn behavior from our mothers, including in relationships with men. Mothers who created families in the USSR rarely knew how to show their feminine warmth and openness. They tend to be stern and keep men at bay, and their daughters adopt this style of behavior.

Negative experience. can drag on for a long time as a negative trail, poisoning the present. It is hard for a woman to open up to a new man, having already experienced betrayal and pain once. If these moments are not worked out purposefully, they can harm your future for a long time.

Literary images. In books and movies, the characters of the main characters are often shown, allegedly conquering men's hearts. These are cold, closed, somewhere even arrogant ladies, behind whom there is a queue of admirers. Women try on these images for themselves, but in real life, such behavior is more likely to scare away a man.

Women's images and clips

Subconsciously, a woman can choose an image for herself that is completely unsuitable for a date. Such behavior cannot ignite a potential partner, you will not show him your generous creative female energy.

The clamps that carry some images in them interfere with building. No wonder they can push a man away on the first date. I will list some of these behaviors, and imagine how you would react if your interlocutor behaved this way.

The Snow Queen with all her appearance she shows that she is a person of royal blood. She has an icy heart and no emotions, her head is proudly raised, her eyes are emotionless cold.

shy girl she is afraid to show her slightest interest in her partner, she lowers her eyes, tries not to cross her eyes, to be silent more and does not show any initiative in communication.

teacher knows everything best. She looks from above, makes comments, she has her own opinion on everything, which she will definitely tell her interlocutor from a smarter position.

Businesswoman always busy. She has no time to relax, she is all in business. Immediately makes it clear to the interlocutor that it is not a bastard of a shield, and you will not fool her. It is immediately clear that not the person who will be a soft wife behind the back of a loved one.

Your boyfriend deprives herself of femininity, she is the same as the representatives of the stronger sex. In such a woman there is no tenderness and affection, she has a masculine demeanor. She does not need to be taken care of and protected.

Vest who is always ready to support and substitute her shoulder. She attracts men only by the opportunity to take on the whole heap of their negative thoughts. She has no time to care about her personal happiness, she is busy solving other people's problems.

How to stop being shy and become more open?

Come up with a new look. For example, it can be a pleasant heroine of your beloved in communication. Imagine that she is you, it may be easier for you to relax and have a pleasant casual conversation.

“Lose” the situation. If you are worried that you may be embarrassed at some moments, try to live them mentally in advance. You know your weaknesses and you can think out ways out of these situations in advance.

Practice on friends. Chat with friends by talking about topics that you want to bring up in a conversation with a man. This will be a good workout before your date and you will “fill your hand”.

Create your comfort. If you have a cozy place where you feel relaxed enough, offer to meet there. In a familiar environment, you will behave more freely.

Talk to strangers. You must understand that communication is not scary. Choose unfamiliar men who are not very attractive to you, but are in good mood. Approach them, start a conversation. For example, ask how to get to a place.

Communicate with the male environment. Train the skill of communication with those men that you have at work or in a common company, with neighbors, friends. Kindly ask for advice, make compliments, ask for opinions.

Dating rules

By sticking to certain behaviors, you can leave a much more pleasant impression of yourself than you could in a constrained, withdrawn state. What needs to be done for this?

• Play with the man. Smile at your interlocutor - by this you show that you like him. Learn to behave gracefully and beautifully, move gracefully, radiate soft sexuality.
• Listen to what he says and ask clarifying questions - your attention shows respect and interest. Do not talk too much about yourself, be more interested in your partner.
• Create lightness in relationships - always show a man all your positive emotions without hiding them. The partner should see your sociability, goodwill and cheerfulness.
• Go on dates more often - this is a great workout for stiffness. Even if you don’t really like a man by correspondence, you can meet in a cafe and chat, this is a great practice for the future.

And in order for all of the above to be sincere, set yourself the main goal: to get great pleasure from your communication. Do not be afraid to disappoint him: this is not the only man in the whole wide world. If you fail to please each other, there will be nothing to worry about: consider him as useful experience, as a step in your improvement as an interlocutor.

How to stop being shy. Useful video:

Train, and over time you will definitely become a more sociable and interesting interlocutor, and I, Julia Lanske, an expert in selecting the ideal partner for relationships, sincerely wish you this!

anna base

Shyness is a characteristic a large number people, but its excessive manifestation does not allow many of us to live full life make new acquaintances, including with members of the opposite sex. , not experienced in romantic communication with guys, even wanting to take a step towards a young man, do not do this and do not respond to courtship. Timid women should remember that guys often think about how not to be shy of girls. Therefore, shyness should not be considered a vice, but it should not be elevated to the rank of virtue either. So it can be done black and white life watching from the side as brave girls enjoy the whole palette of colors. The problem of shyness is solvable, but delicacy is required here. First of all, you need to find out if the girl is only shy of guys or is she shy with all people?

How not to be shy of people?

There are many unsociable girls among us who are content with a long-established social circle: family members, only friend, neighbors, an individual trainer from a sports club or a tutor ... It is they who, more often than others, ask themselves the question “how not to be embarrassed by people?”

You can get rid of excessive embarrassment in front of people using the following methods:

stop delving into yourself;
think more often about your strengths and successes;
remember that people are more concerned about their own shortcomings, and they don’t care about strangers;
take into account that other people are also sometimes shy;
inspire yourself with a sense of confidence (at least 5-10 minutes a day) until it becomes habitual;
when communicating with another person, do not dwell on yourself, but delve into the conversation of the interlocutor.

After working on yourself and noticing that these methods work, you can proceed to the second stage of the fight against shyness. To do this, you need to constantly expand your social circle, making new acquaintances wherever possible: in public transport, while jogging or walking your pet, at a performance, in lines. Then even an overly closed person will begin to gradually become liberated and acquire the skills to communicate with others. unfamiliar people. This will help you stop worrying and start living normally.

Why you need to stop being ashamed of your boyfriend and how to do it?

At any moment, the calm and measured life of a young representative of the weaker sex can be interrupted, and the reason for this will be an acquaintance with a dream guy. At first, the girl is unlikely to trust him 100%, but excessive embarrassment will also not be beneficial - in this case, the relationship between young people will end without even starting.

Guys should not be shy for the following reasons:

There is a chance that the guy is shy too, and this is another obstacle in the relationship.
Most likely, the young man already has experience with girls, against which an overly timid chosen one will look at least stupid.
To not feel awkward.
If the same guy were the girl's cousin, would she be shy around him?

How to get rid of shyness in front of a guy: general tips

In order for the excitement to begin to gradually go away, one can imagine that the first acquaintance has already passed. But having begun to eradicate shyness, one should not get too carried away, because this feature is an indicator that the girl has a subtle and sensitive nature that is able to empathize and love.

You can overcome shyness in front of a young man in stages, in four steps:

First of all, a young lady needs to think about how she would like to see herself next to a guy; what traits would she give main character if I wrote a novel about myself?
Having decided on the image, it is necessary to find out what is required to implement the plan? Perhaps these are neat low-heeled shoes, thanks to which their owner will not feel like a “giraffe”. Or maybe it's a stylish hairstyle that can give a girl self-confidence? The list of options for getting rid of shyness in front of a guy is endless, so this issue should be approached depending on your circumstances.
And what about the act that our heroine previously seemed completely fantastic? For example, you can, without waiting for the initiative from the guy, invite him for a walk, and during the walk you can also offer to taste the pie, which is baked by the girl herself according to the grandmother's recipe. The young man is unlikely to refuse such an offer, because the guys are still those lovers of sweets!
Following the first three points, the girl will become much more confident in herself. And then, calling on the help of fantasy, he will begin to experiment. If thoughts are occupied with new ideas, and time is their implementation, then there will be no time to be shy!

How can a girl overcome shyness in front of a guy she likes at different stages of relationship development

How to stop being shy about a guy if the girl doesn't know him yet?
In this case, it is worth taking a closer look at where he most often happens. For example, this is a sociable person whom the entire university knows as an indispensable participant in various events and sports competitions. Perhaps he is a permanent leader of the holidays or a local bard. In a word, the guy you like is the pride of the university.

But what about the girl? She considers herself ordinary, gray, inconspicuous. In this case, she has no choice but to prove herself in something, “sparkle”, so much so that she educational institution noticed by many, including the activist he liked. You can enroll in a university KVN team, a creative circle (theatre, dance, etc.), and if you have musical talents and skills, you can join an ensemble. It often happens that former school quiet girls reveal their inner potential by 100% in universities. When choosing an occupation for herself, a girl should strive to be as close as possible to the chosen guy, but at the same time not take on a job that is too tough for her. Indeed, in order to attract the attention of others, you need to do something, if not “excellent”, then at least “good”. "Recipe for shyness" will bring the desired effect if it is supplemented with the following "remedies": witty jokes; an increase in the circle of friends and acquaintances from a common environment with the object of adoration; radiant smile, irresistible appearance and other "female things". And one more thing: in no case should you doubt yourself, and then the girl will be able to suppress her shyness in front of the guy and even get to know him!

If a young man is hyperactive, then he may like a meek quiet. But in order for him to notice the timid admirer, she will have to make a lot of efforts and even "jump out of herself."

How to stop being shy about a guy at the very beginning of a relationship with him?
Here we must try to find “common points” as early as possible, that is, common topics for conversation and hobbies, and then the candy-bouquet period will not be overshadowed by stiffness of thoughts and actions. An awkward pause at the beginning of a relationship with a guy can be filled with a story interesting history. If by behavior young man it is noticeable that he is also shy (perhaps, for his part, he wants to understand how not to be shy of girls), then you can invite him to visit his favorite place. This will undoubtedly bring the couple closer, the girl will stop worrying and begin to live a full life, giving joy to the chosen one and receiving it in return.

How to overcome shyness in front of a guy who has already managed to please, but the girl just met him?
In order for the acquaintance to be long, the girl must like him in communication. If, when meeting with a young man she likes, she will “crumple” phrases and timidly look away, then such a couple most likely has no future. The fair sex should think in advance: what will she ask the guy she recently met (for example, what is his opinion about yesterday's TV show?); what he will ask for (maybe you need help moving the stands); where he will invite (to an action, an exhibition, a disco, etc.).

How to stop being ashamed of your body in front of a guy?

It also happens that everything goes as it should: the girl confidently communicates with the object of adoration, the relationship of young people develops. But here, as luck would have it, the problem begins to “gnaw” at her, how to stop being ashamed of your body in front of a guy? Prior to this, the young lady skillfully hid figure flaws under her clothes: a bulging tummy was covered with spacious tunics; small breasts were “supplemented” with bra foam; cellulite hips were hidden in the folds of a long skirt.

No one has yet solved the figure problem by wearing a "burqa" and "timidly hiding a fat body in the rocks". It requires an integrated approach that includes diet, exercise and self-esteem. The last item the girl needs to do first of all, because the young man will not wait until she loses weight and pumps up.

To get rid of complexes, a girl can remember the first days of meeting a guy. After all, he consciously chose her and did not make any comments about her figure, even seeing a number of shortcomings (unfortunately, you cannot completely hide them under clothes).

What if you watch your friends? For example, Irina is an immense plump, but what a charming, witty, smiling and with a sparkle in her eyes! Because of the guys and there is no release. And Valentina, having a chiseled figure and an antique face, is always “on rear positions”, because it is arrogant, boring and “empty”. Thanks to such observations, you can develop a line of your own behavior and not be tormented by how to stop being ashamed of your body in front of a guy.

Shyness is the main obstacle to success of any kind, and even more so when it comes to relationships between the sexes. Do not be afraid to say a word, for fear of seeming awkward. Any embarrassment can be turned into a joke and laugh together. It is important not to deprive yourself of the pleasure of spending time with the guy you like. To achieve what you want, you need to suppress shyness and take at least a small step towards your dream. Many sayings also speak of the same: “An attempt is not torture”; “To be afraid of a wolf - do not go into the forest!”; “He who does not take risks does not drink champagne”, etc.

December 25, 2013, 14:41

Shyness is inherent in many people, its excessive manifestation causes a lot of inconvenience in communicating with people. Shyness prevents you from living a full life, making acquaintances, especially with the opposite sex. This quality can limit the possibilities of a person. Develop many negative properties: self-doubt, weak character, dependence on someone else's opinion. These people are very easy to manipulate. Since they are afraid to defend their opinion in front of more confident people, it is easy for them to impose their opinion. They are afraid of communicating with people, putting off an important conversation or making decisions.

Shy girls don't know how to talk to guys. For this reason, a girl may be afraid to reciprocate the guy she likes. She wants to take a step forward, but does not. She is afraid to do something wrong, to seem awkward or stupid girl. Before you decide how to stop being shy with guys, you need to identify the reason that caused the shyness.

Reasons for shyness

The main reason for shyness is low self-esteem. Most often, guys are shy, girls who are not sure of their attractiveness. There are also times when girls consider themselves not smart enough. They realize that men pay attention not only to the appearance of a woman, but also to the level of intelligence.

Very often, self-doubt arises in childhood. Its appearance is facilitated by the wrong influence of the family and teachers. If adults demanded too much, often put the child in an awkward position, this can lead to isolation, which eventually develops into a habit. And in the future, in situations that the girl was shy in childhood, she is shy in adulthood.

Also, the cause of self-doubt may be that during the period when the girl had her first interest in the opposite sex, she was ignored or teased.

Signs of shyness

• Girls who are shy often sweat and blush when they talk. Their movements are strange and illogical, which causes awkward situations.
• Shy people usually don't make eye contact when talking. All their thoughts are concentrated on their actions and conversation. It constantly seems to them that they are behaving incorrectly and saying something wrong. When talking with men, girls are always trying to understand what the interlocutor thinks about them.
• Attentiveness and ability to remember are significantly reduced. A girl can often lose the essence of the conversation and interest in it.

The attitude of others to shyness

To a shy person, it may seem that from the outside he looks like a polite and sympathetic person. He never disturbs others for no reason, does not allow himself unnecessary actions, thereby making an exceptionally positive impression on people. But in reality it turns out to be the opposite. Other people take excessive timidity for manifestations of weakness, and form the wrong thing about a person. best opinion. Quite often, they simply use insecure people to their advantage, as they cannot stand up for themselves and allow such treatment. Don't count your weaknesses as strengths. Shyness is a disadvantage that needs to be eliminated.

How to stop being shy about men

Many girls are concerned about the question "how not to be shy about guys." The fight against shyness must begin with an increase in self-esteem. You need to understand in what situations constraint makes itself felt the most. To do this, you need to communicate with the opposite sex. The experience of communication will help not only to identify weaknesses, but also help to learn how to overcome them.

You need to understand the fact that not only you can be shy. A guy can also suffer from self-doubt. Also, most likely the guy before you met other girls, and he can compare you. An insecure girl will not make a good impression.

How to stop being shy about the guy you like? Try to imagine in his place good friend. Would you also feel embarrassed? Imagine that your chosen one is not looking for flaws, but has already seen advantages in you. In this case, there will be no need to worry.

How to stop being ashamed of your boyfriend

In order to overcome shyness, you need to force yourself to do what you are shy. No need to pretend and try to be different, just to please people. Do what brings you joy. Feel free to implement any ideas that come to mind. For example, cook a dish that you have long wanted, but did not dare, or draw a picture.

Take a personal development class. A qualified specialist will help to cope with complexes and overcome constraint. It is important to remember that this is your life, and only you can decide what to spend your time on. Many girls are concerned about the question "How to stop being shy about the guy you are dating." Sometimes the constraint of the opposite sex goes away on its own with age. But if you are not ready to wait, following the tips will help solve the problem.

Practical advice: how to stop being shy about a guy

• When communicating with a guy, talk about your emotions more often. For example, you can say "I really like you, when I look at you, it takes my breath away." Such a recognition will definitely not leave him indifferent, and it will become easier for you to communicate.
• So that your chosen one is not bored with you, take the initiative. For example, suggest going to the theatre, cinema, or a simple walk in the park. Be sure to prepare, think about what you will wear, what makeup you will do, what you will talk about. Consider how to avoid embarrassing moments.
• Find out what the young person is interested in, this will help you choose neutral topics for conversation. Perhaps it will be music, sports or computers. Talking about casual topics can help relieve stress.
• Think of activities you could do together. For example, sign up for ballroom dancing. The most important thing is that both partners like classes. This will help overcome embarrassment, since it is common for a passionate person to forget about complexes.
• Sign up for Gym. Physical exercise help relieve stress. In addition, over time, the figure will become taut, which will undoubtedly add self-confidence.
• Visit a beauty salon regularly. Usually shy girls ignore this advice, preferring to remain gray and inconspicuous girls. In order to feel truly beautiful, you need to force yourself to go to a beauty salon. No need to regret the money spent on yourself. After all, beautiful woman much less likely to be insecure.

How to stop being shy in bed

First of all, stop focusing on your shortcomings. Many people don't like something about their appearance. The most common cause of embarrassment in bed is dissatisfaction with appearance. Either love your body the way it is or change. Go in for sports, start eating right, change your lifestyle. To change your body you need time and money, hard work on yourself. But the effort is worth the results, because it's much better to be confident because you actually look good.

If you don't know how to behave in bed, read books and watch movies. Then put the knowledge into practice and ask the man how he likes and what he would like. There is nothing to worry about, he will tell and show everything. Shy girls usually wait for a man to take the initiative. They lack the courage to even take the first step. The manifestation of the initiative does not at all indicate promiscuity, but shows the man that you are ready for sex and want it. Relax and you will feel desired, which will undoubtedly give self-confidence.

Shyness is inherent in many people, and, as a rule, the owners of this character trait suffer because of it. Is it possible to get rid of this quality and is it always harmful?

What is embarrassment

So, to begin with, let's define what the word "restraint" means. We are talking about a character trait that is characterized by timidity, awkwardness and indecision at the moment of communicating with other people.

Most often, shy girls try to avoid eye contact and dialogue with strangers, and it often doesn't matter if it's about guys or members of the same sex. Also, do not expect spontaneity in actions or conversations from a shy girl or woman. Usually they have to carefully control what they say, so as not to blurt out something that may seem stupid to others.

Of course, the fact that a person is shy can be determined, if not at first glance, then after the first remarks. The biggest fear of a shy girl is to seem ridiculous, stupid or inappropriate. Of course, this trait imposes a certain barrier in communicating with other people, so the owners of a shy character usually try to fight their indecision or silently suffer because of it. As a result, if you do not overcome shyness in time in certain situations, then this can leave a negative imprint not only on your personal life, but also on your professional fulfillment.

I want to stop being shy, what should I do?

Find out the reasons for your embarrassment

The first step is to determine where this character trait came from. It is important to note that very rarely shyness turns out to be a quality acquired by a person in adulthood - usually shyness begins to manifest itself in character already in childhood. This usually happens because of the wrong influence of the family, teachers. If a child often finds himself in an uncomfortable position in front of others because of his parents (public reprimands, punishments, etc.), then he begins to withdraw into himself, and this gradually becomes a habit.

A child who is forced to face the inflated demands of a mother or father always feels not "good" or right enough. Simply put, it seems to him that he is worse than others, so this affects his behavior.

Also, shyness often affects children from not quite prosperous families. As a rule, they try to avoid talking about relatives, they are afraid that someone will find out that not everything is good in their house, and gradually withdraw into themselves. If it is not customary in the family to show tenderness and love (hugs, sweet words, kisses), then this in a certain way forms the character of the child. Without a positive example before his eyes from an early age, he himself does not know how to demonstrate his feelings.

Accept yourself, your appearance and your body

In adulthood, childhood reasons for shyness are usually forgotten, replaced by completely different ones. A person who is often immersed in himself is accustomed to treating himself with prejudice. Girls usually start looking for flaws in their own appearance, and usually successfully find them. We can talk about completely biased qualities that other people seem quite attractive. “Realizing” that their appearance is far from ideal, girls try to communicate less with people around them, fearing that they will notice their “defect”. From the outside, it seems stupid and funny, but for a shy person, this is a real drama.

Believe in yourself - down with complexes and fears

If you are a shy girl, then, for sure, you have already managed to identify all your weakest sides. Undoubtedly, you have fixed each of your shortcomings, and always remember it in your subconscious. Now it's time to overcome your complexes, and start acting in a completely different direction. To begin with, determine your most advantageous sides - in appearance, character, skills. Even if now it seems to you that you don’t see any positive aspects, it simply means that you thought badly and are clearly missing something.

Finally discovering the virtues in yourself, try to focus on them. Realize that because of your shyness, you are depriving yourself of many of the joys of life. Sometimes shyness can lead to completely ridiculous and absurd situations. For example, a girl has some problems with her teeth, but she does not go to the dentist, being embarrassed by him and fearing that he will scold her for a neglected situation. This problem grows over time like a snowball - it's getting scarier to go to the doctor, and communication with others is rather constrained - suddenly they will notice this shortcoming. If you are faced with a similar situation, then take action immediately. Imagine how you will feel when your problem is solved? Now set yourself up for the fact that sooner or later you will have to take up the solution to the problem, and the sooner this happens, the sooner it will be left behind. Even if you have to go through a few unpleasant minutes, it’s better to do it as quickly as possible, “shoot back” to leave the problem behind, and not live it daily. Believe me, the worst expectations are very rarely justified, and sometimes a shy person who has finally decided to do something, then is surprised that he was afraid to do it before.

Many shy people who have to overcome themselves in something (speak to the public, call a stranger, make a toast at a large table, etc.) have mastered a kind of “trick”. So, if you have to do something that instills fear in you, then imagine that it is not you who is doing it, but someone else. That's right: for a few minutes, or as long as it takes, imagine that you are a completely different person.

Changing your demeanor in front of people who already know you well is often more difficult than making a first impression so that a new interlocutor does not suspect that you are shy. Try this game. Everyone knows you how shy girl? Do an experiment. When you have to make contact with a stranger, try to behave differently than usual. Going to a meeting, just forget about your indecision, do not give it the slightest chance to manifest itself - throw yourself a kind of challenge.

Watch other people more, stop focusing solely on yourself. As a result, you will probably notice that there are still no ideal people - everyone has some flaws. However, many of their owners do not pay attention to this and enjoy life.

Social skills still need to be trained - it will do you good! If you are afraid to communicate with people, then this is the first thing you should start doing. In order not to injure yourself, learn this skill gradually. So, pick up the phone - you have to talk with a stranger. Before that, you can “set up” and “talk” yourself by talking with a friend or other close person. Now it's time to call, for example, a fitness center. Ask the administrator if they have gift certificates, and what is the cost of an individual training session with a trainer. If you are shy, then, for sure, this conversation will seem quite exciting to you, but after finishing it, you will feel better. Do these experiments every day until you have no barriers left in front of you. Gradually, these skills will be transferred to real life in live communication.

How to stop being shy about a guy

which you really like

Many girls are familiar with the feeling of constraint at the moment of communication with a young man for whom they feel sympathy. Usually this behavior is caused by one factor: the girl is afraid to look stupid in front of a young man. If you are also afraid that the guy you like will seem not witty enough, and therefore avoid communicating with him, then you are making a big mistake. Just be yourself. A rare guy considers the skills of a good storyteller to be the main advantage in the opposite sex. If the guy has already begun to pay attention to you, and you have the opportunity to communicate with him, then you managed to interest him according to completely different criteria.

Who do you meet

I'm embarrassed to eat and drink in front of him.

There are frequent cases when girls cannot overcome shyness and start eating or drinking in front of a young man. There may be several reasons for this. Perhaps you think that the sight of you eating food is not aesthetically pleasing, and it will be unpleasant for a guy to watch this. It is possible that it seems to you that you are “loudly” swallowing, chewing your food inaccurately. It may also be that you are afraid that at the moment when you start to absorb your dessert or a more serious dish, the guy will ask you some question, and you will not be able to immediately and clearly answer.

If you are familiar with such fears, then it is advisable to get them out of your head as soon as possible. You may not know this, but most guys love to watch a girl eat, and people with a good appetite make them more sympathetic than those who are always on diets or for some other reason avoid having dinner together or a simple snack. You can also be sure that almost all people eat the same way, and if you do not behave very ugly, then you are unlikely to surprise a young man with something. By refusing to share a meal, you can even offend him. Realize that sooner or later the day will come when you will have to chew food in his presence, and this does not require months of preparation - start at any next appropriate moment so that the guy does not start to consider you strange. The more you attach importance to such a simple physiological process, the harder it will be for you to decide on it.

I'm embarrassed to undress in front of a guy

When a couple enters a new phase of a relationship intimacy), then certain problems may arise on the part of the girl, which may have affected you. Girls are afraid to be completely naked in front of their partners, or do it only in pitch darkness, fearing that their lover will be disappointed when he sees their nakedness. The most interesting thing is that this fear is completely unjustified. The guy already imagines what you look like, and you won’t be able to surprise him with something. If you think that your hips are too wide, then no matter what skirts you wear to disguise them, the guy has already managed to examine or “feel” them. The same can apply to the waist, legs or chest. Although the last aspect can be somewhat more difficult. Some girls with small breasts consider this a disadvantage and wear bras that add volume in the right places. If you do the same, then it is possible that the guy in the end can really be surprised. You should realize that you still cannot hide the truth, and it is quite possible that what seems to you a disadvantage will cause completely different emotions in your partner. In order not to make a sudden opening, put on a less voluminous bra for each new meeting, gradually reaching your true size. Most likely, the guy will not notice anything, or the size of your chest was not a special secret for him, despite all the tricks.

Is shyness always bad?

It is important to understand that shyness is not a bad quality in every situation. By the way, this feature very rarely repels the people around, but rather touches, unlike vulgarity, licentiousness, tactlessness and arrogance. As a rule, shy people are deprived of all these unpleasant qualities. We also note that many older people and guys who are not looking for entertainment for one night consider shyness not a disadvantage, but an advantage for a girl, and sometimes they even specifically look for a life partner with just such a feature. This trait is usually disliked only by complete opposites - arrogant people who are “many everywhere”. Ordinary people are sympathetic to such a quality, realizing that it is in no way capable of harming them personally, unlike many other unpleasant character traits that are inherent in some people.