The child is very nervous and capricious what to do. Nervous child - principles of treatment and education

Age crisis is an integral part of growing up of every child. Gradually developing, the baby is becoming more and more familiar with the world around him and his mental perception is changing. Do not take the crisis as something negative. In psychology, this term means a transition to something new, a change in the understanding of the world to a more adult one.

Several stages of childhood crises have long been identified - one year, three years, five years, seven and, finally, adolescence. All these age categories are most susceptible to changes in the psyche, and each child goes through these stages in different ways. The task of parents at the same time is to help the child overcome them.

Stages of psychological maturation

The earliest crisis in a child begins at the age of one year. It is at this time that the baby begins to actively explore the world. He is already crawling, walking and wants to learn literally every subject. The child does not yet understand that some things can be dangerous and does not distinguish them from others. He would love to play with a socket or a hot iron.

Parents should be as careful as possible during this period of a child's life. There is no need to physically punish him, because the baby does not understand why there are so many restrictions around. Calmly give the child information in the form of a game.

The best option to prevent interest in dangerous objects is to keep the child out of sight.

For your child's safety, all games must be supervised by an adult.

At the age of three, the baby is already beginning to identify himself, to understand that he is a separate, independent person.. He wants to do everything himself, including adult work. Do not prevent him from doing this, let the child be an adult for a while.

Ask him to wash the dishes, put away toys. Children of this age are willing and happy to provide any help. Try not to impose a lot of prohibitions, it is better to offer a choice, so the child will feel that he is trusted.

Five years is a very difficult stage. There are a few age features such a period:

1. Imitation of adults
2. Managing the emotionality of behavior
3. Interest in new hobbies and interests
4. Eagerness to socialize with peers
5. Rapid character formation

The child develops very quickly and it is often difficult for him to cope with this.

Symptoms and causes of the crisis

A sharp change in the behavior of the baby, his reaction to the words or actions of adults is the first and most obvious sign of the transition to a new stage of development. At this age, watching parents, the child wants to be as similar to them as possible. Probably everyone remembers how in childhood they wanted to grow up faster. But it does not work out quickly to grow up, and the child begins to get nervous and close in on himself because of this.

The baby's brain is actively developing, he already knows what it is to fantasize. Children are happy to invent imaginary friends for themselves, compose different stories. They successfully copy the behavior of mom and dad, distort their facial expressions, gait, and speech. The age of 5 years is also characterized by a love of eavesdropping and peeping; curiosity in relation to the world around grows in the child.

It is important not to miss the moment when the child closes in on himself.

Upon the onset of a crisis, the child closes, he no longer really wants to share his successes and failures with adults. The baby has different fears, ranging from fear of the dark and ending with the death of loved ones. During this period, children are extremely nervous and insecure, they are embarrassed by strangers, afraid to start communicating with them. They always think that they will not like an adult. Sometimes a child is afraid of the most ordinary things.

The behavior of the baby changes completely in the opposite direction. A previously docile child becomes uncontrollable, he does not obey, he shows aggression. Children can constantly whine, demanding something from their parents, cry, throw uncontrollable tantrums. Irritability, anger very quickly replace good mood. Experiencing a crisis, children get very tired and many parents do not know what to do to return everything to normal.

Irritability and frequent mood swings are characteristic of the age of five.

You can understand the parents who first encountered a crisis of 5 years in a child. Perplexity, even fear, is the main emotion at first. However, growing up is inevitable, and often parents, not realizing this, believe that the child is simply manipulating them. What needs to be done so that the baby comfortably overcomes a difficult stage?

Provide your child with a calm environment. In families where the parents themselves constantly swear, it will be morally difficult for the child to cope with his own internal problems. Try to bring him to the conversation, to understand what is wrong, what worries him. Many children do not immediately, but make contact and begin to trust their parents with their secrets and fears. Think about how to calm the child and offer a joint solution to the problem.

A few tips on how to behave with a child's tantrums are given by Dr. Komarovsky:

Show attention to the baby, always be interested in him, his success. Enlist him to help around the house, explaining why it is important to keep clean. A calm explanation is the best way to let the child understand what the simplest duties are for. A very good result gives a story about your own successes. Share them with your child, you can also tell about your fears.

Five years is no longer a crumb to be followed everywhere. Give the baby some freedom of action, show him that he can already be independent. If necessary, communicate with him as with an adult, children appreciate this very much. Always support him and do not scold him for mistakes. Having taken on a difficult task and failed, the kid himself will understand that he did not heed the advice in vain.

Actions "forbidden"

Often parents, faced with a crisis in a child, immediately begin to introduce a lot of taboos and restrictions, scream, get upset, take offense. Under no circumstances should this be done. It is difficult in some situations to maintain self-control, but it is still easier for an adult than for a child with little experience. With the correct reaction of adults to whims and tantrums, the crisis will not drag on for a long time.

You don’t need to show your child your own aggression and anger at his actions, get lost and panic during a tantrum. React calmly, sit down and just wait until the child calms down. Having lost a violently tuned spectator, children quickly come to their senses. After that, you can talk together and figure out the cause of the whims.

Remember, if you behave as aggressively as the baby, his behavior will only get worse.

Do not control the child everywhere and everywhere, try to overpower yourself and stop teaching him . good option will together come up with a duty that from now on will be performed only by a child. For example, watering flowers. Explain that if they are not watered, they will wither. Buying a pet is also a huge contribution to the development of independence in children.

The nervous system in a child, especially under 5 years old, is still too weak. Therefore, do not be surprised if the baby begins to act up for no apparent reason, startle at the appearance of any source of noise, his chin is shaking. And it turns out to be very difficult to calm him down. What could be the reason for such a reaction? How to treat and strengthen the child's nervous system?

In children and adults, the characteristics of the nervous and cardiovascular systems are completely different. The regulation of the nervous pathways up to 3-5 years is still immature, weak and imperfect, but it is an anatomical and physiological feature of his body, which explains why they quickly get bored even with their favorite pastime, game, it is extremely difficult for them to sit in one place during the same monotonous classes. This is how the neuropsychic development of children differs.

From about 6 months, the child already becomes a person, before that, children basically still identify themselves with their mother. Communicating with the baby and raising him, parents must take into account the characteristics and type nervous system a small person and, of course, the anatomical and physiological characteristics of your child.

Sanguine children are always on the move, they are full of strength and energy, cheerful and easily switch from any activity that this moment were doing something else. Phlegmatic people are distinguished by efficiency and calmness, but they are too slow. Cholerics are energetic, but it is difficult for them to control themselves. They are also difficult to calm down. Melancholic children are shy and modest, offended by even the slightest criticism from the outside.

The nervous system of a child always begins its development long before his birth. Even at the 5th month of his intrauterine life, it is strengthened due to enveloping the nerve fiber with myelin (another name is myelination).

Myelination of nerve fibers in different parts of the brain occurs in different periods in a regular manner and serves as an indicator of the beginning of the functioning of the nerve fiber. At the time of birth, the myelination of fibers is not yet complete, because not all parts of the brain can still fully function. Gradually, the process of development takes place in absolutely every department, thanks to which connections are established between different centers. Similar the way it goes formation and regulation of children's intelligence. The kid begins to recognize the faces and objects around him, understands their purpose, although the immaturity of the system is still clearly visible. Myelinization of the fibers of the hemispheric system is considered completed as early as the 8th month of intrauterine development of the fetus, after which it occurs for many years in individual fibers.

Therefore, not only the myelination of nerve fibers, but also the regulation and development of the mental state and the anatomical and physiological characteristics of the child and his nervous system take place in the course of his life.

Diseases

Doctors say that it is impossible to name a single childhood disease with the absence of physiological features and changes in the work of the heart or central nervous system. Such a statement especially applies to children under 5 years of age, and the younger the child, the more peculiar the manifestation of reactions from the vessels and the central nervous system.

Such reactions include respiratory and circulatory disorders, facial muscle amimia, skin itching, chin shaking, and other physiological symptoms indicating brain tissue damage. Diseases of the central nervous system are very different, and each has its own characteristics. To treat her immaturity, respectively, they also need to be different. And remember: in no case should you self-medicate!

• Poliomyelitis - occurs under the influence of a filtering virus that enters the body orally. Among the sources of infection are sewage and food, including milk. Antibiotics can't treat poliomyelitis, they don't work on it. This disease is characterized by elevated body temperature, a variety of signs of intoxication and various autonomic disorders - itching, dermographism of the skin and excessive sweating. First of all, this virus negatively affects blood circulation and respiration.
• Meningococcal meningitis, caused by meningococcus, usually occurs in children younger than 1 to 2 years of age. The virus is unstable and therefore usually external environment under the influence of various factors quickly dies. The pathogen enters the body through the nasopharynx and spreads extremely quickly to the entire body. With the onset of the disease, there is a sharp jump in temperature, hemorrhagic rashes appear, causing itching of the skin, which cannot be soothed.
• Purulent secondary meningitis - occurs most often in children under 5 years of age. This disease develops rapidly after purulent otitis media, with a sharp rise in the patient's body temperature, anxiety in children, headache, itching is possible. It is dangerous due to the possibility of the virus penetrating into the membranes of the brain.
• Acute serous lymphocytic meningitis is distinguished by the instant development of its symptoms. Body temperature literally in minutes rises to 39-40 degrees. The patient feels a severe headache, which cannot be soothed even by pills, vomiting occurs and a short-term loss of consciousness of the child. But internal organs disease is not affected.
• Acute encephalitis - appears in a child in the event of the development of an appropriate infection. The virus has a negative effect on the walls of blood vessels, causing disturbances in the functioning of the heart and other physiological disorders. The disease is quite severe. At the same time, the patient's body temperature rises, there is a loss of consciousness, vomiting, itching, as well as convulsions, delirium and other mental symptoms.

Any suspicion of any of the above diseases is a reason to urgently call a doctor, after reassuring the child.

The defeat of the system before birth and after

In addition to viral diseases, the diagnosis of “lesion of the central nervous system in newborns” is relatively often made. It is possible to detect it at any time: both during the intrauterine development of the fetus, and at the time of childbirth. Its main causes are considered to be birth trauma, hypoxia, intrauterine infections, malformations, chromosomal pathologies and heredity. The first assessment of the maturity of the system, mental state and anatomical and physiological features is made immediately after the birth of the baby.

Such a child is easily excitable, often crying for no reason when he is nervous, his chin is shaking, sometimes he suffers from skin itching, strabismus, head tilting, muscle tone and other physiological symptoms of a mental disorder are observed. During tantrums, the child is almost impossible to calm down.

We strengthen the nerves

There is a whole range of strengthening methods. It is a long, but quite effective process, aimed at both calming the baby and general improvement of his emotional, mental and nervous state. And above all, try to surround the child with calm and balanced people who are ready to instantly come to his aid.

We evoke positive emotions

The first thing to start with is to learn to control and regulate children's emotions and its anatomical, physiological and nervous state. There are a number of exercises that develop the muscles of the child and soothe him. For example, a baby helps riding a ball. It is advisable that both parents be near the baby during the exercises. It is the joint actions of the parents that give their child self-confidence, which in the future will only have a positive effect on determining his place in society.

Relaxing massage

The next point of the complex is a massage using various oils that prevent itching of the skin. A massage session can only be carried out by a highly qualified specialist who is well acquainted with the methods of influencing the anatomical and psychological state and physiological processes in the human body. Quiet and calm music, especially the works of Mozart, has a beneficial effect on the child's psyche. The duration of one such massage session should be about 30 minutes. Depending on the mental state, nervous and vascular system, the child is prescribed in different cases from 10 to 15 massage sessions. The assessment of his mental state is made by the doctor individually.

Proper nutrition

Proper nutrition of children, especially those under 5 years old, is one of the main ways to strengthen the nervous and vascular systems of a child. It is important to exclude sweet and carbonated drinks, flavorings and dyes, semi-finished products from the baby's diet, whose quality often leaves much to be desired. But be sure to use eggs, fatty fish, butter, oatmeal, beans, berries, dairy and sour-milk products, lean beef.

Taking vitamins and minerals

Strengthening the nervous, vascular and other systems and normal anatomical, physiological and mental state the body is greatly facilitated by the intake of vitamins. Vitaminization is especially relevant in the season of colds, when the physiological forces of the body are at the limit. From a lack of vitamins in the body, memory, mood, and the general condition of the body worsen. That is why the regulation of the amount of vitamins and minerals in the body is so important.

For example, calcium deficiency negatively affects the general condition. The child has hyperreactivity, nervous tics, convulsions, and skin itching are possible.

Physical activity

Regulation of the cardiovascular and nervous systems, myelination of nerve fibers are associated with physical exercise. They bring the body into tone and help improve mood, general and anatomical and physiological development of the brain, thereby significantly reducing the risk of developing various ailments of the nervous and cardiovascular systems. Swimming and yoga are best for older children.

Daily regime

Since childhood, we have been told about the importance of observing the daily routine - and not in vain. Mode is extremely important for children. Take care of the full sleep of the child, which has a significant impact on the nervous and cardiovascular systems. Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day. Also, daily walks in the fresh air contribute to the saturation of the body with oxygen, which is necessary in the anatomical and physiological development.

Every parent should be aware that the neuropsychic development of the child largely depends on him.

Be good parents- not an easy task. Very often you can hear from moms and dads complaints that their children have become uncontrollable, capricious and sometimes even aggressive. But nothing but love was invested in them. What kind of metamorphoses periodically happen to growing personalities? These age transition periods are called crises, and one of the most difficult is the crisis of 7 years.

The specifics of the transitional age of the younger student

During the crisis period, the child behaves in a mannered, feigned manner.

Throughout life, a person experiences five crises:

• at 1 year (occurs due to a misunderstanding by adults of words, facial expressions and gestures);
• at 3 years old (the conflict of highlighting one's "I" in relations with adults who do not always accept the baby's desire to be independent);
• at the age of 7 (occurs against the background of the beginning of a new stage of socialization - admission to the first grade and awareness of oneself as a person);
• at 17 years old (due to the need to self-determine after a carefree and familiar school life);
• at the age of 30 (associated with summing up the intermediate results of life, analysis of achievements and defeats).

Each of these periods deserves the attention and participation of loved ones, but at the age of seven this is especially important. According to psychologists, a child at the age of 6-7 years old has his social "I". Therefore, the baby will have to build new relationships with new people: classmates, teachers. And now he needs to receive a positive assessment of his actions, which he needs, not only from loving family members, but also from strangers.

Features of the development of children 6–7 years old

The game remains the leading activity for younger students

With the achievement of school age, the child experiences a powerful restructuring of the whole organism, which is associated with the intensive development of the peripheral nervous system, musculoskeletal system, cardiovascular and endocrine systems. This causes special mobility and activity of babies, but at the same time, emotional overstrain and fatigue.

Also at this age appears the new kind activities - study. And if earlier the game was the leading activity, now the kid wants to feel like an adult - go to school faster. Although the game has not yet left his life, therefore, the education of younger students, as a rule, relies on this type of activity, that is, on the experience of children. At the same time, one should not forget that the nature of memory in a six- or seven-year-old toddler is involuntary. Therefore than brighter image of this or that concept, the easier it is for the baby to remember it. But it is still difficult for him to concentrate on one thing. And against the background of these contradictions of development, a crisis of seven years arises.

The main signs of the crisis period

Disobedience and aggression are key signs of a 7 year crisis

It is almost impossible not to notice the onset of the transitional stage, because it is most clearly manifested in behavior. The main features of the transitional stage are:

• mannerisms in public, in the family, attempts to imitate the elders (relatives, movie characters, books);
• antics (most often directed at the closest);
• the appearance of restraint (a child at the age of 7 loses his ability to involuntarily - directly - react to certain events, now the baby comprehends everything that happens around him);
• periodic ignoring the requests or instructions of elders, disobedience;
• unreasonable bouts of anger (freaks out, breaks toys, screams) or, conversely, withdrawal into oneself;
• differentiation of one's "I" into public and internal;
• the need for recognition by surrounding adults of the significance of the individual.

It often happens that parents from this entire list pay attention only to disobedience: after all, in this way the usual hierarchy of adult-child relationships is violated, the baby becomes “uncomfortable”. However, this is a misconception about the significance of this manifestation of the crisis. Much more important is that a small person in this period needs understanding and care. And in this regard, it is better for parents to leave their dissatisfaction and try to help their child.

How to make contact with the baby?

Do not punish the child, always try to negotiate

Yuri Entin: “What kind of children are these days, really, there is no justice for them, We are wasting our health, But they don’t give a damn about it ...”

In order for the crisis age of seven to pass as painlessly as possible, adults should somewhat reconsider their relationship with the child. Psychologists advise paying special attention to a number of points:

1. Allow yourself to be independent. Of course, each member of the family has a certain range of responsibilities, and the child can perform them on an equal basis with adults. grown up junior school student he will quite cope, for example, with caring for a pet (he will feed a parrot, walk a dog, etc.) So he will feel that he is the same adult, that a certain side of family life depends on him. At the same time, sometimes remind the child that the main ones in the house are mom and dad, whom no one can replace. To make sure the baby is clearly convinced of this, arrange the day in reverse - parents will become children, and children will become parents.
2. Recognize the right of the child to the mood. The kid, like any adult, is defeated by emotional swings. He, like mom or dad, can have a day when everything falls out of his hands, he wants to be alone and even cry. In this case, do not bother to show emotions, and after a while talk about this situation, find out the reason for such a decline. Surely, this is a reaction to someone's unkind word or a problem at school, with a teacher or classmates.
3. Negotiate. 7 years is the age when the baby already perfectly understands the value of promises. He remembers what was promised to him as well as what he promised himself. Therefore, if you promised something - be sure to fulfill it, if this is not possible - explain to your child the reasons why the promise is being postponed, and also specify the time when you can fulfill it. Otherwise, the child will understand that the word can be violated, that there are no obligations that could not be circumvented.
4. Dose the pressure. There are situations when it’s impossible to simply agree, since the baby still lacks some boundaries of behavior (for example, you can’t raise your hand to a girl, an adult, or communicate with your mother as with a peer). In this case, of course, an authoritarian approach is indispensable (“We will do this because it is right. You don’t understand this yet, because you are small”). But the most important thing in the formulation of requirements is a calm tone of voice.. Hearing even tone mother's or father's voices, which remind the baby that he still does not catch everything due to age, in the mind of the child there will be a desire to understand the reasons for this or that action, and this, in turn, will distract from whims and disobedience. Only you need to include this approach as rarely as possible, otherwise the child will get used to doing everything only under pressure.
5. Bring on a sense of humor. The best way to force a child to do something is to start doing with him. And so that he performs certain actions with pleasure, for example, washing dishes, look for funny moments in the process of working together (you can come up with funny nicknames for kitchen utensils or compose a whole story about the adventures of a spoon and a cup, etc.)
6. Avoid punishment entirely. Scientists have proven that physical punishment does not carry any pedagogical value. As well as psychological pressure. The fact is that the baby is obviously weaker than the adult, so he cannot resist the pressure. But even after doing everything the way you want, he will not understand why he was forced against his will. And subsequently, a person will grow out of him, convinced that the superiority of strength or age plays a key role in resolving any issues.
7. Give the opportunity to vent your aggression. To do this, you can, for example, hang in the room punching bag Or replace it with a pillow. As an alternative to a forceful outburst of emotions, you can crumple paper, newspapers and throw them into the basket. It is also useful to sometimes give the baby the opportunity to scream.
8. Talk to the baby. Talk to your child on an equal footing, talk about how you had such a difficult period in your life. Share your experience, how did you find a way out of the situation.
9. Take a break from each other periodically. If you feel that passions are heating up to the limit, the child does not listen to you, does not perceive, try to live separately for a couple of days. It is only important that you leave, and not send the baby. So in the usual home environment he will feel more strongly how much he needs you, and, taking advantage of the situation, it will be easy to find mutual understanding.
10. Load. Give your child special tasks related to the manifestation of creative initiative. This will prepare him for the new learning activity. Also, periodically engage in classes with your child: this will not only strengthen your emotional connections, but will also add authority to you in the eyes of the child.

Video: how to behave with a child if he is freaking out and nervous

Any crisis is a difficult period in the life of a person and all those around him. As for the turning point at the age of 7, it is further enhanced by the fact that the child cannot find a solution to internal conflicts on his own. Therefore, adults should show all their sensitivity, love so that the crisis of 7 years passes easily and ends quickly.

The concept of "nervous child" is very capacious and, depending on specific situations, can cover different set behavioral characteristics. Unites different unbalanced children only our negative attitude to the reactions that arise in the baby in response to his interaction with the outside world in general, and with us, his family and friends, in particular.

A nervous child can be whiny and shy, aggressive, overly irritable, excitable or hysterical. Whichever of the reactions prevail in your baby, the root of evil, as a rule, is always the same - mistakes in education. Accordingly, nervousness should be “treated” by correcting such errors.

Physiological causes of childhood imbalance

To begin with, let's try to get by with "little blood" in correcting a nervous character. Physiological factors also influence the behavior of children, especially younger ones.

The conditions that, first of all, you need to create for your child for the full development and formation of him as a person:

• established daily routine;
• sufficient sleep;
• proper nutrition;
• proportionate physical activity;
• personal hygiene.

If all physiological conditions are created, but the baby still remains nervous, then you need to adjust your relationship with him.

If the baby is nervous, then it is beneficial for him.

Children are very practical people. If they, consciously or unconsciously, make their choice in favor of nervousness, and not calmness and poise, it means that it is beneficial for them, and it means that you, at one time, showed them how to use nervousness in their own interests.

Situation: Mom is busy, and her daughter needs something from her. The baby asks calmly - the mother answers “Yes, now, wait” and continues to do her own thing, then the daughter asks more insistently, and only when she breaks down to crying does her mother notice her and give her what she needs. Gradually, the baby develops an understanding that it is easier to immediately present your requirements in the form of a tantrum - then it will be fulfilled faster.

Mom in this situation should have done this: if she can fulfill the demand of her son or daughter and there are no reasons for refusal, then this must be done immediately, without waiting for hysteria. If the requirement is impossible, then you need to explain why it cannot be met, and not indulge in a whim, even when your offspring is crying and hysterical. The baby should not form a model of interaction with others “I cry - I get what I want”, our goal is “I ask normally - I am rewarded”. In other words, children need to create conditions in which it is beneficial for them to be calm and healthy, and not aggressive and capricious.

Parental composure and consistency

If the moment has long been lost, then your task now is to be cool and make the mechanism work in the opposite direction, reward the child when he is calm and constructive, praise him for being able to calm down quickly and encourage him in every possible way for his poise, even if it looks artificial.

The next aspect that contributes to the formation of nervous behavior in a child is the inconsistency of parents in the system of rewards, prohibitions and punishments.

This means when the same act of a child in one situation is interpreted as negative and punished for it, but in some other context it is not noticed. This also includes the model of parental behavior when they put forward a demand to a child, but nine times out of ten they do not make sure that this demand is met, and on the tenth they immediately go to punishment, and for the first nine too.

For example: the son watches TV, and every time his mother passes by, she calmly says: “Turn off the TV.” Children interpret such a request as optional.

It would be correct to say:“You watch another 2 minutes and turn it off,” and after 2 minutes inform that the time is up, come up and turn it off. The child can put forward counter demands, ask for another 5 minutes, and if this is not important, then the mother can allow, and after 5 minutes turn off the TV. The child, most likely, will object, but less, because his requirement is fulfilled, he is considered.

The power of the parent word

If parents want to see a child balanced and obedient, then they must do everything to ensure that their word does not lose its meaning in the eyes of children.

When you make a demand, be prepared to go all the way and see to it that it is met, otherwise don't make it.

It's the same with threats - if you say, "If you do this again, I'll punish you," then you must punish. If you are not sure that you can realize a promise or a threat, do not promise or threaten.

Expediency of bans

by the children of early age instructions "Do not touch!", "Sit still!" are also interpreted as requirements, not mandatory, because by reproducing these phrases, the parents themselves are well aware that the child will continue to touch, run, jump. Phrases like "You can't yell on the bus!" or "Don't eat with your hands!" are also very doubtful, because how is it impossible when the baby is successfully doing just that, while he thinks “I scream and eat with my hands, so it’s possible”, in the end - our “impossible” is worth absolutely nothing, we have a nervous child, what to do and how it happened, we do not understand.

Prohibitions take place in education only when it is really necessary.

If in a third-party setting or in a different mood you would not limit the child, then it is better to immediately explain to him how this situation differs from similar ones. For example, “We are visiting and there is in the house elderly grandmother, who has a headache just now, so we won't sing karaoke. Let's go home - then you can."

Proportionate emotional and mental stress

The harmonious state of the child is balance and a tendency to compromise, if you stop observing this in your child, then there is a failure in the processes of excitation and inhibition. Either one of them has become dominant, or they replace each other too quickly or randomly.

The most common cause of childhood nervousness is an overload of the excitation process.

This is not necessarily a systematic state of the child - nervousness can manifest itself situationally. For a baby, this is an excess of information, too violent a change of events, a large number of impressions that he cannot digest. For a school-age child, this may be too much academic and extracurricular workload. Dose emotions and loads.

Modeling the semantic load of events

Nervousness develops very easily with unpleasant or terrible impressions, both constant and isolated. Moreover, the situation does not have to be objectively catastrophic - it is more important what meaning the child himself gives it. Here the reaction of the child is a complete reflection of the reactions of his parents and those close to him.

Even the classic cause of childhood neurosis, the divorce of parents, can be more easily endured by a child if the relatives do not dramatize the situation and do not escalate the situation.

Artificial lowering of the importance and tragedy of any most unpleasant event on the part of parents eliminates the negative impact of this situation on the child and, accordingly, reduces the risk of nervousness.

If a child grows up in an atmosphere of nervousness, where parents do not talk, but constantly shout at the child and at each other, where the child observes the most extreme manifestations of emotions by people close to him, there is nothing surprising in the fact that he absorbs everything that happens and reproduces you what observes around you. Your task is to learn to carry a positive charge yourself and then you will not notice how your attitude will be transmitted to others and, first of all, to your once unbalanced child. Be attentive to your children, because their nervousness can be a manifestation. Here, all your efforts and love will already be needed to correct the situation when it could have been avoided. Love and hug your children more often, this is conducive to peace.

Psychologist, psychotherapist, personal well-being specialist

Svetlana Buk

The psychologist tells how the child's neurosis is connected with problems in the family:

Expecting a child is always full of joyful dreams, plans and hopes. Parents imagine their future life with the baby in bright colors. The son or daughter will be beautiful, smart and always obedient. The reality turns out to be somewhat different. The long-awaited baby is really the most beautiful, intelligent and beloved, and sometimes even obedient. However, closer to two years, the character of the baby begins to change. So much so that parents stop recognizing their child.

It becomes extremely difficult to cope with a child. More recently, he is so sweet and accommodating, he becomes capricious, hysterical and strives to do everything his own way. Of course, parents are aware that between two and three years the child enters its first transitional age.

Psychologists call this period the “crisis of two years of age”. He is still very Small child- 2 years. Often freaks out and is capricious. However, this knowledge does not make it easier. Life next to the little tyrant becomes simply unbearable. The kid, so obedient and cute, suddenly becomes stubborn and capricious. Tantrums occur many times and out of nowhere. Moreover, if the child set out to get what he wants, then it will not be possible to distract him by switching his attention to something else. The kid will stand on his own to the last.

Confusion of parents

Most parents are unprepared for such changes. What happens to the child takes them by surprise. Even if the baby has an older brother or sister and the parents have already gone through something similar, still always throwing tantrums, a nervous child creates an unbearable atmosphere in the house. Parents, frightened by the thought that the baby may have serious health problems, seek help from experienced acquaintances. However, few people dare to turn to a specialist and get advice from a child psychologist.

The advice of the townsfolk in such cases is given of the same type. Most tend to think that the child just needs to be "asked properly" so that he knows how to behave. However, such methods do not bring benefits. The child is nervous and freaks out even more, bringing loved ones with his behavior literally to

How it manifests itself - the age of testing

Most often, the baby resorts to a violent demonstration of his discontent. Falls to the floor, scatters things, hits parents, breaks toys. Moreover, reasons for discontent sometimes arise from scratch. For example, a child wants water. Mom gives him a bottle, which immediately flies to the floor. It turns out that the baby wanted the bottle to be full, but it was only half filled; or the kid yesterday ran through the puddles in rubber boots and wants to wear them today too. Explanations that today the sun and boots are not needed on the street do not help. The child throws a tantrum.

It must be said that parents are sometimes not afraid of the hysteria itself, but the reaction of those around them. In a situation where your child is constantly freaking out or rolling around screaming on the floor, it is difficult to remain calm. Especially if it happens in public place, where it is full of "well-wishers". Mothers are at a loss. What happened? What is missing in education? What to do if the child is nervous and naughty?

Most often, the parents are not to blame in such situations. It's just that the baby began his first transitional age. Child psychologists call this condition the two-year-old crisis. The cause of the crisis lies in the child himself. The child is actively learning the world who constantly surprises him. He wants to be independent, but he still cannot manage without the help of his parents. Moreover, the help itself is often actively rejected. Thus, 2 years is manifested - this is a rather difficult age for both the baby and his parents.

While the baby was very small, he felt himself one with his mother. He calmly allowed himself to be picked up and carried from place to place, fed, dressed and performed many other necessary manipulations. Starting to realize the limits of his own "I", the child simultaneously tries to find out the limits of what is permitted in relation to other people. Although sometimes it seems to parents that they are deliberately pissed off. However, this is not the case. The child learns to communicate, tries to realize how much his power over other people extends, and tries to manipulate them. Adults are required to show restraint, not succumbing to provocations.

There is no specific date when the child will begin to show character. On average, it starts at two years and ends at about three and a half years. If a small child (2 years old) often freaks out and is naughty, then this can be called the age norm. The only question is how to survive this period with the least losses.

What should parents do

This is perhaps the most sensible advice that can be given to parents who are experiencing their first crisis with their child. It is worth putting aside what is right and wrong for a while and let the child have his own experience. To the best of reason, of course.

“I myself” is the phrase parents hear most often now. I'll dress myself, I'll eat myself, I'll go for a walk myself. And it doesn't matter that it's +30 outside, but the child wanted to wear warm leggings outside. Negotiations with a stubborn kid will end in a violent tantrum. The best thing to do in such a situation is to simply allow the child to wear what he wants. Let him go outside in warm breeches. Just bring light clothing with you, and when the baby gets hot, change it. Along the way, explaining that now the sun is shining, and you need to dress lighter.

A similar situation is repeated at lunchtime. The child may want to eat sweet semolina porridge, dipping salted tomato into it. Trying to feed him “right” will only lead to him giving up on both. Let him eat what he wants and how he wants. If you can't watch it, just don't watch it.

Give your child more freedom and don't treat him like a toy. He is a human being just like you, and he also has the right to make mistakes. Your task is not to protect him from all troubles, but to help him gain his own life experience. Of course, it is much easier to dress a child yourself than to wait for him to do it himself. Just give yourself a little more time to get ready. In addition, try to listen to the opinion of the child himself. After all, he is also a person and has the right to listen to him. If it's time for lunch, and the child refuses to eat, then most likely he is not hungry yet. Go towards him. Most likely, he will soon get hungry, and you will feed him without any problems.

Connect with your child through play

Games for children 2 years old are the main way to interact with the outside world. To the question: "What do you do?", a child of 2-3 years old will probably answer: "I play." The child plays all the time. If he has toys, he will play with them. If there are no toys, then he will invent them for himself.

Often parents complain that the child has a lot of toys, but he almost never plays with them. Most often this happens when the toys are lying around anywhere, disassembled and broken. The child simply forgets about them.

In order for the child to remember his toys, they must be in front of him. To do this, it is best to keep them on open shelves. big toys it is better to place them on the floor so that the baby can easily get them. Place medium-sized toys directly on the shelf. Here they will look most attractive.

All kinds of small items like small cars, figures from Kinder Surprises, beautiful pebbles found on the street, spread out on small boxes. On top of each box, put one item from those that are in it. So the child will understand where whose house is.

Do not give your child all the toys at the same time

If the child does not see all his toys at once, then he will remain interested in them longer. If too many toys have accumulated, then collect some part and hide it. after a while they can be shown to the child. He will begin to play with them with no less interest than with new ones. Of course, you should not hide those toys to which the child is very attached. Some are worth keeping where they are used most often. For example, your daughter's toy kitchen utensils can be stored in a toy box in the kitchen. This will keep your own cookware intact.

Son's toy tools can be stored next to dad's. In response to the request of the baby to give him a hammer or drill, give him his own toy tool. Bathing toys are best kept in the bathroom, and the ball he plays with outside is best placed in the hallway.

Think of activities for your child

Perhaps your child is constantly naughty due to the fact that he is simply bored. He is still very small and cannot always figure out how to play with this or that toy. In order for the baby to always be in business, get a special box for all sorts of interesting little things. At the right time, you will take out a ribbon from the box, from which you can make a leash for a teddy dog, in which he has already lost interest, or a shred for a new dress for a doll.

When playing, your baby tries to be closer to you. In his games, he will gladly accept your offer of help, but he is unlikely to want to be given instructions on what to do. Games for children 2 years old are all kinds of research, experiments and new discoveries. You should not strive to explain to him the purpose of a particular toy or rush to answer a question that he himself could not really formulate. That way you can ruin everything. Try to give the child the opportunity to be the leader in his game and follow him.

Help the child, be his partner

Your baby may think of some business, but will not be able to carry it out due to the fact that his physical abilities are still very limited. Help him, but don't do everything for him. For example, he planted a branch of a tree in the sand and now wants to water his "flower bed". Help him carry a jar of water to the sandbox, but do not pour the water yourself. After all, he wants to do it on his own. If you deprive him of such an opportunity, then the scandal cannot be avoided. The child has not yet learned how to correctly express his negative emotions, so hysteria often occurs in children. 2 years is the age at which not all children still know how to talk properly. Not being able to give weighty arguments in defense of his position, the kid throws a tantrum.

Many games are simply impossible to play on your own. You cannot catch or roll a ball if there is no one to throw it, you cannot play catch-up if there is no one to catch up with you. Often children have to beg their parents for a long time to play with them. After much persuasion, they reluctantly agree, but after a few minutes they say: "Well, that's enough, now play it yourself." Or, agreeing to play, they announce in advance that they can give the child only 10 minutes. After that, the child does not so much play as fearfully waits for the promised minutes to end and they will say to him: “Enough for today.” It is clear that you will not be able to play all day, but sometimes it is worth pretending that you yourself really want this. Give your child the opportunity to enjoy the fact that he himself finished the game when he wanted. Games for children 2 years old are their very life.

What to do if a child has a tantrum

No matter how carefully you treat a two-year-old child, situations still sometimes arise in which it will not be possible to avoid tantrums. Unfortunately, a small child (2 years old) often freaks out and is naughty. Sometimes he has tantrums. According to statistics, more than half of two-year-old children are prone to tantrums and outbursts of rage. For many, this happens several times a week. Tantrum-prone kids are usually very restless, smart and know what they want. They want to do a lot of things and have a very bad attitude towards the attempts of adults to prevent them from doing this. Having met an obstacle in its path, a small child (2 years old) often freaks out and is capricious, wanting to achieve his goal.

Falling into hysterics, the baby is not able to control himself. He can't see or hear anything at all. Therefore, all objects that get in his way usually scatter in different directions. The child may fall to the floor and scream loudly. When falling, it can hit hard on the floor or furniture. Parents are usually at a loss, they do not understand why the child is freaking out, because just now everything was fine. The baby may scream until he is sick. At the same time, parents find themselves in a state close to panic, they do not know what to do if the child is nervous and naughty.

It is very difficult for parents to watch such pictures. Especially when he turns pale and it seems that he is about to lose consciousness. True, he will not cause serious harm in this way to himself. The protective reflexes of his body will come to the rescue, which will force him to take a breath long before he can suffocate.

How to help a child

First of all, you should try to organize the life of the child so that he does not have nervous overload. If the child has become nervous, the symptoms will be visible immediately. These are frequent outbursts of rage. When these outbreaks become too frequent, they will not lead to anything good. If you forbid something to the child or force him to do something that he is not very pleased with, then try to show as much gentleness as possible. Do not try to keep the child in a rigid framework. In an attempt to protect himself, the child will throw tantrums regularly.

Sometimes parents hope to improve the child's condition by self-administering sedative medication. Moreover, they "prescribe" the drugs themselves on the advice of relatives and friends. Doing this is strongly discouraged. Only a doctor can prescribe sedatives for children. 2 years is the age at which the child is still extremely vulnerable, uncontrolled use of drugs can harm him.

If the baby has a tantrum, watch him carefully so that he does not harm himself. During a child's tantrum, such that he may not remember what he did while he was rampant. So that he does not cripple himself, try to gently hold him. When he comes to his senses, he will see that you are next to him and the scandal he has arranged has not changed anything. Soon he will relax and fall asleep in your arms. The little monster will turn into a baby who needs affection and comfort. After all, this is still a small child (2 years old). He often freaks out and is capricious, but at the same time he desperately needs your love, affection and comfort.

There are children who absolutely can not stand when, during hysterical attacks, they are tried to be restrained. This only exacerbates the hysteria. In this case, do not use force. Just try to make sure that the child does not harm himself. To do this, remove from his path all the beating and easily breaking objects.

Don't try to prove something to a hysterical child. Until the attack passes, absolutely nothing will affect him. If the child is hysterical, do not yell at him. It won't make any difference. Some parents, trying to bring the child to his senses, begin to beat him. Usually, this not only does not calm him down, but, on the contrary, makes him scream even louder. In addition, you can not calculate the strength and cripple the baby.

Do not try to explain something to a screaming child. In a state of extreme irritation, even an adult is difficult to persuade. And what can we say about a two-year-old child. After he calms down, do not start the conversation first. Many children take this as a concession, and the screams may start with a vengeance.

It is better to wait until the child himself comes to you. If he comes up to you, hug him, caress him and act like nothing happened.

Often parents are horrified at the thought that their child will "throw a concert" in public. They are ready to make any concessions, as long as he does not have a tantrum. This practice leads to completely opposite results. Children are very observant and know very well how to manipulate their parents. Do not be surprised if your child starts having tantrums regularly and in the most inappropriate places.

Let your child know that tantrums will get him absolutely nothing from you. If he was furious because you forbade him to climb a high ladder, do not allow it after he calms down. If before the tantrum you planned to go for a walk with him, go as soon as there is silence, and do not remind the child of anything.

Most children's tantrums are designed for the presence of spectators. As soon as you go into another room, the screams miraculously stop. Sometimes you can observe a rather funny picture: the child screams with all his might, rolls on the floor. As soon as he finds that no one is around, he falls silent, then moves closer to his parents and starts his "concert" again.

When is the right time to see a child psychologist?

You need to contact a psychologist if the child’s tantrums have become too frequent and have become protracted. In particular, they do not pass, even if the child is left all alone. If the parents have tried all the ways, but still it is not possible to overcome the tantrums, then it is time to seek advice from a child psychologist. In order to find a good specialist, ask your friends who have already been helped child psychologist. Reviews will be a good guide for you. In addition, it is worth visiting pediatric neurologist. This doctor will prescribe the necessary examinations and, if necessary, prescribe sedatives for children. 2 years is the age at which natural herbal preparations are most often recommended.

Sometimes the cause of children's tantrums lies in family troubles and lack of agreement between parents. Even if the parents never quarrel in front of the baby, the baby still feels the nervous atmosphere and reacts to it in his own way. As soon as they come to an agreement, calming their thoughts and feelings, the child’s tantrums immediately stop.

Being a child is just as difficult as being an adult. However, time is on our side. Very soon you will find that the two-year milestone has been passed, and all the tantrums are far behind.