Education of leadership qualities in a child. How to raise a leader in a child

Let's be honest: no one likes people who complain, whine and shift the blame on others. Even money, happiness and success. They come to those who believe in themselves, know what they want and know how to achieve what they want, know how to show strength and character.

Don't they want it for their children parents?

A leader is someone who manages life processes. And the mostbecome successfulthose who just take responsibility.

A child leader is not one who obeys and unquestioningly obeys his parents in everything. These categories are not related to leadership, a person cannot be trained.

Unquestioning and absolute obedience are the qualities of a “comfortable” child and, most likely, an unhappy adult in the future.

This is not necessarily an excellent student in school and not a champion in his category in judo.

This is a child with early age decision maker. Who is not afraid and bear responsibility for it.

He is able to light a fire in the eyes of his peers and create conditions for the initiative of others.

To grow a leader in a child, he must be taught at least two things: take the initiative and take responsibility. But not only. I collected5 main and working decisionsin confidence and independence.

1. We encourage interest

Children always at a certain age begin to show interest in certain processes. But only parents do not always react correctly - don’t take it, it’s dangerous, don’t touch it, it still won’t work. And right here question for parents.

Wanna know how to raise a leader in a childalmost certainly? Do not chop down his initiative, do not scold, even if he did something wrong, he did it!

To develop in a childleadership qualities, it is imperative to support his initiative.

It shows up first in the little things. For example, I decided to walk the dog myself, sweep the floors,. Praise him! For the fact that he is well done, he decided to help.

And offer to do it, for example, together. Share the initiative so that the dog does not grapple with anyone during the walk, and the “floors” and “dishes” do not flood the neighbors.

Any attempt at independence should be encouraged. This is a guarantee that in the future the child will not be afraid to be responsible.

If the result is not successful, the floors are streaked, and the dog got lost without your participation - they supported the impulse - and only then do we draw conclusions from the result, give instructions and tips.

Children, for whom parents decide everything, become middle-level performers without initiative and live according to other people's life scenarios.

Be interested, offer choices, talk about the implications, and let your child evaluate them strategically before making a decision.

2. We teach responsibility

Having taken the initiative, having made some action / choice / having made a decision, we are responsible for it. This is a necessary ingredient. child leader does something - then comes the responsibility. That is, deal with the consequences.

You also need to be able to accept the consequences of your decisions from childhood, and they can be both positive and.

You need to explain that you can go for a walk with the dog without a leash, but then it can run away or get lost. You can buy ice cream now, but then in the evening you won’t get it for dessert.

At any age, the baby can and should have its own small, but area of ​​responsibility.

Planning and Self-Discipline - Skills successful people that can be developed from childhood. And it starts with simple things: daily routine, sleep and wake up, breakfasts, lunches and dinners, physical activity, scheduled classes.

This does not mean that the child needs to be pushed into all kinds of circles. Let him do what he is interested in, just everything in due time and with pleasure.

Together with the baby, taking into account his wishes, draw up a daily routine. But there is important point: parents need to live by the same .

Their child will absorb like a sponge, and if a parent has one thing today and something else tomorrow, here he promises, but there he does not - children grow up in absolute dissonance.

Starting from the age of 11-12, you can already set goals and plan them. A beautiful organizer and cheerful stationery only motivate you to take notes and plan. There is also an element of creativity and play in this.

This skill also forms purposefulness and perseverance. - there will be steps on how to achieve it. Just do not do for the child what he does not succeed. This is a disservice.

Only by environmentally overcoming obstacles, the child learns what resilience and fortitude are. These are also the qualities of a leader. Parents can to help to direct, but he must manage himself.

4. Physical activity

Fitness, swimming, dancing, gymnastics, martial arts, anything - but be sure and in moderation. Both adults and children. Now I'm not talking about professional sports at all.

There, the child is “trained” more than just within the framework of fierce competition, regimen, pain and heightened ego - this is a completely different story about other children and parents.

Talk to your child, observe what activity he shows interest in, and offer to engage.

"Human" sport, whichever you choose, develops a lot of useful qualities in a child:

• persistence;
• endurance;
• will;
• concentration;
• the ability goes through all the stages from, for example, “learning one movement for a week” to “dancing for pleasure”;
• the ability to accept victories and defeats as an equally important life experience and not give up;
• self-discipline and patience;
• command;
• the ability to feel your body, understand its needs.

In addition, it has been proven that playing sports has a positive effect on a person’s mental abilities, strengthens the immune system, and allows.

That is why hyperactive children are attracted to sports. They learn to invest and realize energy.

Another important skill that children acquire in "human" sports is an adequate relationship with their own ego. They acquire the ability not to make tragedy out of defeat, but also not to make victory an end in itself, on the way to which you can bury yourself.

5. Lead by example!

“Do not raise children, they will still look like you. Educate yourself,” is an English proverb. Everything is simple and clear and I agree.

Agree, it’s stupid to talk about the dangers of smoking to your son if dad has been smoking for 16 years before his eyes,. Everything you want to cultivate in yourself is the law.

Not the last role is played family traditions, personal and financial relationships and the distribution of responsibilities between parents.

If the father is worthy strong man , subconsciously.

If a mother knows how to be flexible, sensitive, at the same time self-sufficient and self-respecting, the daughter will read it. Agree? Share your opinion in the comments.

Whatever you want to raise a child, you have to start with yourself.

A few rules for communicating with a child

Proper communication with a child in childhood will save him trips to psychologists and psychotherapists in the future and even prolong his life.

It is important to maintain a balance of personal freedom of a person, even a small one, and control by parents.

Loving is not the same as pampering

Unfortunately, often This is the association that many parents have. Your baby is always the best and favorite. This is understandable, but the qualities of a leader are not brought up like that.

Pampering a child, allowing everything and serving it on a silver platter at the first tantrum and without it is not an option.

Regulate "Wishlist", only without prejudice to the psyche and conceit of the child. Learn to argue refusals, motivate and talk with your child.

That's the only way to grow strong character the ability to cope with difficulties.

For example, Bill Gates forbade children to watch TV for more than two hours, and Steve Jobs did not allow his family to use gadgets for too long, especially on weekends.

Taboo on criticism

Correcting destructive criticism. If and - then in no case not the child himself, but his actions and deeds. So that he has a positive picture of the world, that he is well done. And some of the actions are not entirely correct.

I accidentally broke my mother's favorite vase - well, next time please be more careful.

It was not possible to assemble a complex puzzle or solve a puzzle, learn a long poem - you need to switch your attention, and then return and finish the job.

Faith in a child works wonders. It is this - acceptance and unconditional love for the child, faith in him - the basis of his confidence in himself and in the future. Yes, a leader can be humble, but never.

Rejoice in the small and great successes of children as if they were your own. But if you praise, it is better in detail and about it. Otherwise, read the previous paragraph.

Age and gender matter

I already wrote that you need to raise a son as a man, and a girl as a woman. And although anyone can become a leader, a girl still needs more care, attention, and a boy needs trust and admiration.

Women's leadership is not “all by itself” and the life of the Airborne Forces. This is wisdom, flexibility and the ability to influence others without overwhelming them.

The style of communication with the child should correspond to his age: the older he is, the more serious decisions he can make.

The main thing

The goal is not to educate a president, a manager or a Nobel laureate. The goal is to create conditions for the development of a happy person. And here the most important thing is love for the child.

Do not forget to tell him about it and show it. A child who feels needed and loved, knows that he will always be supported at home, cannot grow up without being successful.

I believe in you,
Yaroslav Samoilov

The world imposes quite stringent requirements on today's children - the system of education, upbringing has set a high bar for mental, mental, physical development for kindergarteners, schoolchildren. The environment of the child is replete with talented, gifted peers. Opportunities for growth, expanding horizons, gaining new experience are growing every year. It seems that the "middle peasants" in the modern world will be completely unadapted to life, uncompetitive, lost, will not gain recognition, success, self-respect and self-confidence.

• Parents are increasingly asking themselves the question: how can you raise a leader in a child, especially a boy?
• Can leadership qualities really be instilled, developed, nurtured even in the most timid children?
• What needs to be done for this?

The makings of a leader appear in some children as early as the age of three. All that parents and teachers need to do is to push a little, guide the baby, teach them how to use their authority among friends correctly. Is it worth working in this direction if the baby is shy? Yes - perhaps in the future such a child will not lead the crowd, but he will learn to listen and hear himself, make responsible decisions, and defend his boundaries.

Parents don't always have clear view about how leadership qualities are manifested, and confuse them with whims, aggression, intolerance. A three-year-old yelling at a playmate that she must be an evil princess, otherwise he will kick her out of the company, cannot be called a leader, just like a teenager who keeps an excellent student at bay to do homework instead of him.

Leader Traits

What features of the child's character and behavior indicate the presence of leadership inclinations?

• The child has a hobby, hobby, business that can capture his close attention for a long time.
• If something does not work out, the kid is not in a hurry to get upset and complain, but tries to solve the problem again and again.
• Contact, sociability, including with strangers.
• Interest in family affairs.
• The ability to get carried away with a business that at first glance seems boring, uninteresting, useless.
• Friendliness, kindness - the baby is not prone to resentment, envy, quarrels.
• The inexplicable ability to attract other children to him - the child leader is always at the center of the game.
• Ability to plan and calculate different variants, choose the best one.
• Activity, cheerfulness, the ability to "resolve" other people's conflicts, stand up for those who are offended.
• Sanity - children with the makings of a leader are able to negotiate, compromise, argue their position.
• Adaptability, flexibility.
• The desire to always and everywhere be the first, to win.

The trust of educators, teachers and peers, responsibility, charm, charisma are signs of a real, worthy leader. Such children lead without pressure, coercion, they know how to convince, captivate, explain, agree with the opinion of another, provide support, organize. Being an authority for friends, they often become the initiators of "rescue operations" if someone needs help.

The medal of leadership has a flip side - arrogance and narcissism. To avoid this, the child needs to be gently directed into the mainstream of creation, focusing on his best qualities, to instill and maintain a sense of responsibility for himself and those whom he leads.

A true leader knows his strengths and gladly demonstrates them to the public. He reaches out to older children and adults, skillfully maintains communication with them.

Leadership development in the family

Thinking about how to grow a leader, mom and dad most often move towards special techniques, complex psychological tricks, forgetting that the foundation of the foundations is communication, own example and trust. Parents raise their offspring by simply being around them every day, demonstrating certain patterns of behavior. Watching significant adults, the baby learns their values, views, principles, ways of acting in various situations. Therefore, first of all, it is necessary to pay attention to the quality of one's own life and interaction within the family.

Psychologists explain how to nurture leadership qualities in a child without doing anything special for this:

Follow the speech

Offensive phrases and words spoken in haste, from fatigue or on the machine, injure children and program them for failure. “What a mess you are”, “Well, why are you always digging”, “Be quiet and do what is said.” Nicknames degrading the child's personality: fool, slob, roar-cow, coward. All these words sink deep into the soul and tread the path to the complexes, the inability to take care of yourself and communicate with other people.

Be supportive for the baby, say good, kind words to him, concentrate on his pluses. Eliminate teasers, name-calling, labels.

The speech of the parents should be clean, competent, correct, understandable - the speech of the child will be the same, and this is very important for the leader, because the leader is always partly a speaker.

More attention

Self-confidence, desire to explore the world, the courage to dare - the constant companions of "loved" children. If for very little ones love is expressed in constant contact with their mother, then preschoolers and schoolchildren need conversations, discussions, reflections. Start family rituals:

• a book with mom at night;
• discussing how the day went after dinner;
• morning exercises with dad;
• family dinner at grandma's on the weekend;
• shared cooking and cleaning.

Any joint activity is an opportunity to communicate, discuss some event, just chat about nothing.

the freedom of action

It is impossible to grow a leader out of a child if you do not give him trial and error. Overprotection kills initiative, the desire to develop, think, and do. Allow a year old to keep trying to climb up the steep stairs, a three year old to get water and get dressed, a five year old to resolve a conflict with a peer, a schoolboy to arrange extra classes with the teacher.

When choosing sections and circles, be guided by the wishes of the child, let him start, quit and try something else. So the little man will learn to analyze and choose.

Provide choices in problem solving. Parents tend to give their children ready-made solutions on the first request. Try to change the script - give the initiative to the son or daughter. The child will learn to listen to himself, trust himself, realize that he has real influence.

Support

Positive motivation is a way to push a child to new achievements. Instead of scolding for failure, encourage: “Yes, performing in public is really scary. You must be upset that you couldn't recite the verse." The kid will understand that mistakes and failures are an inevitable part of the journey, and with each attempt the probability of victory increases. It is impossible to make a child a leader without teaching him to deal with his defeats with dignity.

Support - first of all, accept the feelings, experiences of the baby. The right message from the parents - I see your condition, I understand it, I will help you cope. Teach children to show their emotions with an eye on those who are nearby: you are angry, this is normal, but you can’t slam doors in anger, instead you can tear paper or scream into a pillow.

Wide range of communication

The little leader needs an audience. Go to visit, invite guests to your place, attend mass events, walk on large venues. Expand your usual circle of contacts - in addition to kindergarten or school, enroll your child in team sports, in a theater group, or another section that involves interaction in a group.

Responsibility

Teach your child to take responsibility for their words and actions. Show and explain how to make choices that do not affect the interests of other people. Pay attention to the consequences of certain actions, learn to see the relationship between your own behavior and the reaction to it from relatives and friends. Instill the right values: honesty, respect for others, the ability to respect other people's boundaries, empathy.

Responsibility comes with responsibilities. Involve your child in doing household chores. The house is shared and all family members make an effort to keep it clean and tidy. Agree on what the son or daughter is responsible for, when the work should be done, who and when checks the quality of performance. Gradually, the control phase can be eliminated.

Healthy criticism and praise

The ability to perceive criticism plays an important role in the development of leadership skills in a child. The task of the parents is to gently point out the shortcomings to the offspring, push him to move on, keep trying, look for new ways to solve problems. Celebrate what is done well and encourage them to do even better. “I see that all the toys are in their places, the clothes are neatly in the drawers, the markers are in the box. Only the dust on the tables remained. It looks like you'll need a rag and another five minutes of your time."

Modern psychologists say that you also need to praise wisely. Children stop perceiving praise when they hear the same patterns for all their achievements: “Well done!”, “How beautiful!”, “You are the best!”. In order for the child to gain a true understanding of his value, it is enough to change the strategy a little. Describe what you see - “Oh, I see, you drew here two red spots, one blue, many green dashes and even a yellow squiggle. How did you come up with that?!”, “I see that the dishes have been washed, the crumbs have been removed from the table, the floor is clean. Everything as I requested. This is what I call responsibility! After a while, the child himself will begin to realize his victories, see his strengths and recognize his own merits.

Partnership instead of competition

Parents sometimes have a distorted understanding of how to raise a leader - the child is encouraged to cultivate the spirit of competition with mom, dad, brothers and sisters. A family is, first of all, a partnership in which there is a strictly defined hierarchy. Parents mark the boundaries, the norms of acceptable behavior, they are the authority with the final word. Brothers and sisters are equally valuable members of the family, their privileges are not affected in any way by which of them draws better, who ate or dressed first. Stop rivalry between children, encourage attempts to get closer, work together, support each other.

Games for the definition and development of leadership

Question: "How to raise a leader in a child?" - a boy or a girl, has another simple answer: play. Organize the following few games that will clearly demonstrate how developed your children's leadership skills are and what you should pay attention to.

Game activity clearly shows which of the children has obvious leadership talents.

What if he's not the leader?

Children are different, and often parental expectations - or rather, ambitions - are not justified. What if your baby, despite your efforts, continues to be shy, withdrawn and modest?

Focus on the positive aspects of your child and love them that way. Let the baby do what he is interested in, cheer him up, believe in him. There is no need to be ashamed of a child who avoids everyone's attention. Perhaps your quiet, calm contemplative will become an outstanding inventor. In any case, breaking the core of a person, even a small one, is a dubious pleasure, which, moreover, will not bring happiness to either parents or a child. Support your son or daughter in their endeavors, desires, initiatives. Learn to listen to yourself, make decisions on your own, value friendship, loyalty, decency.

Being a leader does not always mean being first among the rest. A true leader is one who is able to follow his heart, choose his own path, choose goals, go towards them, maintaining his comfort, surrounding himself with people who want to be around.

Alena is a constant expert of the PupsFull portal. She writes articles on psychology, parenting and learning, and child play.

Articles written

Many parents ask themselves the question “how to bring up leadership qualities in a child?” But this does not mean at all that they see only big bosses in the future in their children. It's just that the realities of modern life require any person to have those very character traits that were previously always considered the prerogative of only the elite. The guys living in today's fast-paced simply need to be a little leader for everyone. Therefore, moms and dads try to form leadership inclinations even in those children who initially may not have any at all, but over time, with proper upbringing, they become more self-confident, more active, and more authoritative among peers. And this will come in handy in their future adult life.

Leadership then and now

Over the past few decades, the attitude towards the upbringing of the younger generation has changed radically. Our mothers and fathers were brought up in modesty and severity: flaunting their achievements was considered bad form. At the same time, children were instilled with altruism, a sense of tact, and politeness.

But the changes that have taken place in politics and society have turned all previous ideas about life values ​​upside down. Gradually, the concepts of career, market, competition, adaptation to change, manifestation of initiative, stress resistance began to enter into our everyday life.

Psychologists and teachers constantly say that children need to instill a feeling almost from the cradle. dignity and self-confidence - this will help them become real leaders.

We all realize that in the modern world such qualities are simply necessary, and therefore we set ourselves such an educational task. Often, parents begin to understand the essence of the problem of children's leadership when the child has already become quite an adult. But it all starts from childhood.

Already a three-year-old baby quite clearly shows leadership qualities. It is to him that other guys are drawn, sharing the best toys and sweets with him. As a rule, the leader child decides what game everyone will play, distributes roles, and usually acts as a leader himself.

He is loved not only by peers, but also by adults. At school and in kindergarten such children are given the most responsible assignments, they are set as an example to other children.

Why does a child show such qualities? Why does everyone respect him, although he still knows little and can do it? The fact is that egocentrism is inherent in everyone from birth, and leadership qualities are one of its healthy manifestations.

Parents should build an approach to education so that children can find a middle ground between self-esteem and self-esteem on the one hand, and self-criticism and self-improvement on the other.

Leader (from English leader) - leading, first, going ahead) - a person (subject) in a group (organization), enjoying great, recognized authority and having influence, which manifests itself as control actions

• A true leader constantly improves his skills and abilities, and can also demonstrate them in front of children of his age and parents.
• He can always laugh if he has made a mistake, and, moreover, he will draw a conclusion for himself. Thanks to humor, you can get rid of insecurity or high self-esteem.
• The leader always leads the team. This is a sociable person, able to communicate with people of any age.
• He always stands out from the crowd, his authority extends to everything. large quantity people, and he knows how to use it.
• A child leader will always achieve his goals. As such a kid gets older, he sets the mood in the team.

Parents should help such children direct the energy in the right direction so that they can perceive reality correctly. After all, both positive leaders and leaders with negative potential can grow from them. The task of adults is to teach the child responsibility not only in relation to himself, but also to all those around him.

The subtleties of raising leadership qualities in a child

So, the leader is independent, believes in himself, has self-respect. The combination of these traits can be compared to hot air balloon: if you pump it - it will burst, if you don't pump it - it will be small and inconspicuous.

The child always feels when the parents are disappointed in him, and this always upsets him greatly. Accept him the way he is.

Even if something does not work out for him the first time, even if he is not always in good mood and so on. Then the chance to develop leadership qualities in it will increase significantly. Maybe this is how they begin to educate future big bosses?

Self-esteem

It is always the result of external factors and varies from year to year. Many systems have been developed to help develop a stable positive self-esteem in a child. Underestimated or overestimated self-esteem always interferes with a rational approach to certain issues.

What should be an adequate self-assessment? It should not cause a feeling of uncertainty and tension in making decisions and depend on ups and downs.

In fact, this is such a vision of one’s position, which not only gives the right to make mistakes, but also can help in solving problematic issues, and also does not allow excessive self-confidence to develop. Only in a family where mutual respect and understanding reigns, the child will be able to grow up with optimal self-esteem.

Leadership implies a combination of different qualities

Family communication

How to communicate with the baby in order to instill in him respect for himself and his environment, leadership qualities and adequate self-esteem? From the first days of life, a child is a person, so he requires due attention and respect.

Learn to understand his needs. Never ignore his attempts to communicate and show emotions, even if they are not always positive.

If the opinion of the child is important for parents, then in the future he himself will learn how to properly build relationships with others. Only the unconditional love of parents will help him to position himself correctly in society.

Criticism

In no case should a small person be criticized or compared with someone, even if sometimes this task seems rather difficult. Each phrase leaves an imprint in the soul of the child, and in the future his self-criticism and self-doubt will only intensify.

Therefore, parents should not succumb to their emotions and, at the first opportunity, express everything to the baby. If the child is guilty, instead of punishing him, offer him to correct what he has done.

Prohibitions and restrictions

The leader is the one who follows important rules, and not to which everything is possible. Allowing a child to do whatever he wants will not increase confidence.

Restrictions are introduced gradually. At first, prohibitions are associated with a danger to life and health, and with age they become more.

Trust and commit tasks

It is important to be able to trust children and entrust them with the implementation of various tasks. This is what builds leadership qualities.

So that in the future your child does not experience difficulties in communication, let him help you. When you give him easy tasks, you teach him to communicate and develop self-confidence.

Insults and ridicule

Often already adults are unhappy due to mental trauma suffered in childhood. The child must certainly be praised, and in no case should you talk publicly about his failures and mistakes.

Sometimes insults and ridicule of the baby become the reason for refusing to do something.

Give your child freedom

Leading experts in the field of child psychology and pedagogy recommend that parents give their child freedom of choice and decision-making. Let the baby independently choose clothes in which he will go for a walk, toys, dishes from which he will eat, pictures on notebooks, etc.

Games

Children learn the surrounding reality and adapt to it through the game. Psychologists have long used this feature of babies for their most effective development and correction of many behavioral disorders.

The qualities of a leader can also be instilled by playing with children not only in specially designed games, but also in any intellectual and sports, individual and team games and relay races.

You can organize talent and craft contests, fairs, theatrical performances, etc. Any kind of activity where the child can express himself is suitable.

Participation in such events increases self-esteem, strengthens self-confidence, allows you to adequately perceive your achievements against the background of the achievements of other children.

Praise

You need to know the measure in everything, including in matters of praise for young children. Try to objectively assess the achievements of the child, because sooner or later he will face public opinion.

During periods of mental crisis, children often become more aware of themselves. If a child is overly critical of himself and his actions, you should turn to child psychologist which will help to choose corrective methods of education.

The main thing is experience

Often, parents do not want to see their child upset, offended, unhappy, so they overprotect him. Moreover, his every action is under control.

But you can learn something only through the acquisition of experience, perhaps not always positive.

Is the game worth the candle?

The traits of a leader can be laid down and developed in a child from childhood. But in no case will they be inherent in a very small peanut.

So, for example, sociability and a high reaction rate were originally laid down by the qualitative features of the central nervous system. But through education, parents must direct the development of the child in the right direction.

According to statistics, no more than 5% of the world's population have leadership qualities. This suggests that if you forcibly and too actively impose a certain model of behavior on the baby, if he does not have any inclinations for this, then this will not give you any pleasure, and your child will become more withdrawn.

If you make very high demands on a child, then this will cause him to develop self-doubt, irritability, and an inferiority complex.

Therefore, before you start cultivating leadership qualities in your baby, consult with relatives and competent specialists - teachers, child psychologists.

Perhaps you should not set yourself such a goal: to “sculpt” a leader from the baby and thereby put pressure on the child? Undoubtedly, certain qualities will be useful to him in Everyday life, in more or less degree. But! If he is a born leader, then he will definitely become one. If your child is not destined to become the head of a huge enterprise or hold high-ranking positions, you, of course, can also develop leadership qualities in him: slowly and unobtrusively. Only in this way will he feel needed and happy. And be sure to become in life what he wants ....

A lot has changed in our approach to parenting over the past ten or fifteen years. Our parents were taught modesty and restraint: it was not customary to stick out your talents or advertise your skills. Adults tried to instill in children these important elements of tact and delicacy. But along with political and social changes, new concepts poured into our lives: a free market, competitiveness, the ability to survive in a new world. The authors of new parenting books talk about the need to instill self-respect and high self-esteem in children so that they confidently lead among their peers. Yes, we ourselves understand that in our time these qualities - integral elements success, and we sincerely want to instill them in our children. Many parents first think seriously about the problem of child leadership only when their children reach pre-adolescence or even adolescence. But it all starts from birth!

The desire to lead is one of the manifestations of egocentrism with which all healthy children are born. The task of the elders is to help children find a delicate balance, when self-esteem and self-respect become important components of their emotional mood, but do not drown out sound self-criticism and the desire for improvement. The makings of a leader in a child must be cultivated from infancy - praise for success, encourage when faced with obstacles, support in moments of failure and show confidence, allowing the child to practice new skills and abilities. Do not forget that it is at home that the first and very important victories and defeats of the child take place. His ability to convince and arouse admiration, the ability to accept defeat or bitter news with dignity are laid down and shaped by parents. This means that parents should not only enjoy his victories with the child, but also teach him to lose, without experiencing the feeling of a tragic failure or a shameful defeat.

Remember!

If parents dramatize every minor incident, then most likely the child will grow up anxious, insecure, embarrassed as a speaker, politician or artist. Any failure of the child, true or imaginary, must be supported by a proposal to try again, to correct the mistake. If the baby fell while taking his first steps, it is helpful to help him forget about the fear and take another step. Encouragement is an act of friendliness and concern, and it cannot be turned into an arbitrary order to try again immediately, into an insistent repetition of a parental order, into a threat. If the child is not ready for a new attempt, encourage him with restraint: "When you are ready, you will certainly be able to ride a bicycle from the garage to the entrance (throw the ball into the basket, solve the arithmetic problem)."

The components of leadership - self-respect and self-confidence - are like a beach ball. Pump air - and it will burst. There is not enough air - he refuses to bounce off the asphalt and jump loudly along the path. If you are disappointed in your child, he will certainly feel it - and faith in his own strength will be undermined. Accept your child as a winner and a loser, strong and weak, then his chances of becoming a leader will increase many times over. Leadership starts with competition?

Leadership starts with competition?

There is an opinion that the leader begins with competition. “Who will eat the porridge sooner”, “Who will wash the dishes cleaner” - these games are good with peers, but not with sisters or cousins, because relationships within the family are already burdened with strong feelings: jealousy, envy, hidden grievances ... The loser is not scolded, they are not laughed at. Also avoid rewards for "the first to eat the porridge" or "wash the dishes cleaner." In this case, quite warm praise. Wise adults do not belittle the leader's success: "Just think, you ran faster than anyone else! It's a big deal!"

But they do not stick out his achievements. They explain to the leader: "It's great that you can run faster than others. Someone can draw better, someone likes to dance, someone knows a lot of songs. Each person has brighter talents and there are things that he does with less willingness."

What is he, a leader?

A child leader is easy to recognize in a flock of peers already at the age of three. For some reason, other children stick to him. He often wins the rights to the most popular. The leader in most cases is active and cheerful. He was the ringleader in outdoor games, most often offers new game and takes the most honorable role in it.

Educators find him charming and most often give him honorable tasks - help set the table for dinner, wipe the chalk off the blackboard. The leader is always in sight, flashes a dazzling smile, and seems to be more and more aware of the spell of his popularity every day. Most often, child leaders are good at manipulating others, both peers and adults. Growing up, they become fashion dictators in their environment: they choose what to play today, who to play and who not to hang out with, they know how to attract other children to fulfill their goals. The energy of child leaders should be tactfully channeled into a creative direction, you need to help them improve their best qualities and work to eradicate bad tendencies, because it is the leaders who most often turn into leaders of youthful gangs or hooligan groups. Try to make the child understand that being a leader means taking responsibility not only for yourself, but also for those who are led.

Teach your child to accept criticism

It is important for a good leader to accept criticism without feeling ashamed or anguished. Therefore, criticism should be smart, constructive, aimed at correcting shortcomings, and not at humiliating the child's virtues. “You are a good comrade, you know how to share with others, you offer friends help. As soon as I noticed that you began to raise your voice to your friends. When you learn to speak more quietly, it will be even more pleasant to play with you” - such a remark that mother made to her son as soon as she was left alone with him will be remembered and will become an important lesson. Criticizing, do not cut off the children's wings, do not disappoint them in their own abilities. Instead of dismissively saying, “This is not cleaning. Look, the dust is swirling around the corners,” say, “A lot has been done. The books are in place, the dirty laundry is in the basket. There is still dust in the corners and sweeping out from under the bed - it will be just beautiful.

Finding a rout in the kitchen, do not rush to scold your daughter: ask what she tried to cook, praise her for her independence, offer help. Maybe you can share a recipe for a salad or tell me the easier way to remove fat from the floor with which my daughter flooded the entire kitchen? Encourage her desire to be independent, while explaining that any skills require practice. The child must learn to realistically assess their actions, their achievements. If the child is deaf, do not ask him to sing in front of the guests and exaggeratedly praise the singing. "Over-praised" children lose their bearings, their self-esteem develops disproportionately to natural data, they expect praise from their peers, but receive clicks and ridicule. A disservice is done to children by parents who give an unreasonably high assessment of their achievements. "Mom! I'm the only one in the class who wrote mathematics for five!" — "You're my smartest!" You cannot convince a child that he is the most dexterous if he ran first in the competition. Sooner or later, the child will definitely face reality: someone will beat him in running, someone will be stronger or smarter. The more unreasonably high a child's self-esteem is, the more difficult it will be for him to come to terms with failure.

A true leader...

• ... diligently develops his strengths, knows how to show off his talents in front of peers and adults;
• knows how to play a good joke on his shortcomings and extract the maximum benefit from them. To do this, the child must learn to laugh heartily with you at his minor mistakes and not take criticism too close to his heart. Humor in the family the best medicine from uncertainty and from the other extreme - excessive self-confidence;
• knows how to captivate peers;
• confidently communicates with mature and older people.

My child is not a leader... what is wrong with him?

Do not rush to project your own expectations and aspirations onto the child.

• Each child chooses his own path. Trust nature and your child - let him develop the qualities that nature has given him. Your help is to be an example to him, to help him develop moral values, to support and encourage him to comprehend the new.
• If nature created your child to be shy and quiet, this does not mean at all that she cheated him. Against! His gift is to observe, to reflect, to contemplate. If your child chooses a quieter or more secluded place in life, it means that he values ​​​​the calm pleasures of life above all else. There is nothing wrong with a child aspiring to be a librarian or a park keeper.
• Every child who is able to independently decide what to do, with whom to be friends, how to spend his free time, has sufficient firmness and a desire for freedom. Leadership does not mean running ahead of the locomotive. True leadership is to go your own way, attracting those whom you want to see in satellites. For some, this is a crowd of admirers. For others, a single friend is enough.
• If your child does not strive to be in the public eye, always and in everything first, but wants to remain in the shadows, do not scold him, do not pity or criticize him. Take a closer look at him, determine what gives him special pleasure. Create the conditions for your child to develop his skills to the maximum in the area in which he wants to succeed.
• Every person in childhood chooses what is more important to him. Someone needs to be rich and famous, And for someone the greatest value is peace and time to read or enjoy nature.

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A leader is a person who is able to lead the crowd, knows how to inspire with his speech, gather a team around him. Such a person is usually distinguished by great willpower, determination, and organizational skills. And often parents dream that their child has leadership qualities. How to raise a child to be a leader? And is it really necessary?

How to Make a Child a Leader: Practical Techniques

A leader is not a person who walks over heads, while forgetting about other people's desires and other people's opinions. This is a person who speaks and can attract attention, make them listen to their words. At the same time, he is not afraid of responsibility for his opinions and actions.

But with the wrong upbringing, a child can easily slip into selfishness and unjustified conceit. And as a result, he will turn into a dictator who only imposes his opinion and his thoughts without thinking about others. Therefore, it is necessary to educate correctly.

First of all, you need to love your child and not tell him how bad, irresponsible or naughty he is. It is better to point out a bad deed, while emphasizing that the child is a good person whom you love.

In addition, it is important to always encourage the child in his endeavors. Even if they seem stupid, and you are sure that the baby will not become an astronaut or a pilot, you should not criticize the child. Constant criticism from parents usually leads to the formation of low self-esteem. Of course, there can be no question of any leadership qualities in this case.

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What else should be done? Here are the main teaching methods:
it is necessary to teach the child diligence, patience - these qualities will help to temper the strength of the spirit, not to give up at the first difficulties;
important - it is worth talking even with the baby, being interested in his opinion on various issues. This will teach the child to correctly express his thoughts and defend his opinion;
the baby’s speech should be developed - for this you can arrange various games at home, as well as encourage the child’s participation in class performances, competitions;
independence is something that parents often forget to give their child. You should not do everything for the baby, even if he is very small. Self-reliance is very important for the development of leadership qualities. Therefore, gradually, within a certain age, the child should be allowed to express himself;
If a child really wants something, let him try it. For example, he wants to sign up for a singing circle, so let him sign up. But at the same time, it is necessary to teach the baby that it is important not only to want, but also to achieve something. So, it’s impossible to quit classes if something didn’t work out the first time. It is important to be able to realize your desires, learn how to solve a problem;
develop - the leader must have a broad outlook, know a lot. Therefore, it is worth visiting various exhibitions, master classes, performances, reading more;
it is very important to teach a child to lose - it is necessary to explain that all failures are temporary, and if you work hard, you can achieve what you want. You can play different games, this will also help you learn to adequately survive losses;
parents should teach their child planning - this will help not only dream, but also set goals and achieve them;
the leader must be able to hear and accept criticism - it is important not to be offended, but to draw conclusions. Therefore, it is worth teaching the child after the remark to think about how to act so that this does not happen again. A person who does not accept criticism shows his egoism, and this quality should not be the main thing in a leader.

The most important thing is to teach the child to be kind, honest, responsive. The task of parents is to bring up a harmonious personality.

Is it important to be a leader?

In fact, not everyone can be the "captain" of the team. Therefore, you should not impose a leadership role on your child. It all depends on the temperament and character of the child, his inclinations and desires. Not every child wants to be the center of the crowd, someone feels good in the shadows.

Parents should watch their child. If there are no explicit ones, and the child does not strive to be the main one in the team, you should not impose your desires on him. And with excessive efforts of parents, you can even get a backlash from the child. A child can grow up insecure, with many complexes.

You can bring up hard work, responsibility, willpower and without instilling leadership qualities. The most important thing is for the child to become a good man and knew how to achieve his goals without offending others.

Both a leader and a child who does not have such qualities should be brought up with an emphasis on the moral aspect. After all, kindness, the desire to help others, to make the world a better place are the most important qualities for any person. A leader or not is not so important, the main thing is that the child is happy.