Engagement table design. How to celebrate an engagement: tips and ready-made ideas

Engagement is one of the most important stages in the life of a young and loving couple before they enter into their union. Engagement or in another way it is called betrothal or collusion originates in ancient times. This event is not an official celebration, but it has its own significant power, because it is at the engagement that the parents of the bride and groom officially get to know each other and agree on the wedding.

What is an engagement for?

At present, modern youth is trying to avoid this event, but, as it turns out, it is completely in vain.

An engagement is needed not only so that the groom’s parents can look at their son’s future wife, evaluate her culinary skills and how she runs the house, but in order to discuss all the details of the wedding in a close family company, how parents will share the costs and who will be responsible for organizing the event.

Where to get engaged

The times when matchmakers came to the bride's house with songs and dances are long gone, but this does not mean that the engagement can take place in a restaurant or a nightclub.

If the weather permits, then do not arrange an engagement at home, but go to nature, to the forest or to the cottage, where no one can disturb you and you can agree on everything. If it is not possible to get out into nature, then you will have to invite matchmakers to the house of the bride.

Who to invite to the wedding

You should not take all your relatives, grandparents with you to the matchmaking, the presence of the parents of the bride and groom will be enough. It is worth considering the fact that if the parents of one of the young are divorced, then they will have to give up their pride and principles and attend this event.

It is customary to set the table for matchmaking, but you should not get too carried away with alcoholic beverages, but you can’t do without them either, suddenly the conversation won’t drag on.

Let the bride's parents set the table, and the groom's parents bring alcohol and something sweet for tea.

Important Details

The groom must come to the matchmaking to the bride with two bouquets of flowers: one for the future mother-in-law. And the second for the bride.

It is also worth bringing an approximate list of guests to each party so that you can already count on how many people the parents will have to cover the wedding. Do not forget to stock up on pens and sheets of paper to write down all the necessary details of the organizational moment.

The engagement is always exciting for the newlyweds, they will be nervous and embarrassed by their parents, so you should think over the event plan in advance so that no one has to blush. No one should take a leading position, so that later you will not be accused of all sins. An engagement exists to negotiate a wedding, so negotiate the wedding, not the dress for the bride.

Engagement is an ancient custom that has its roots in the distant past. In ancient Rus', this is a ceremony following the matchmaking, it was called handshaking or pre-wedding.

In the process of the ceremony, young people necessarily had to obtain consent to marriage from their parents. In ancient times, the groom was obliged to pay a ransom for the bride, thus redeeming the right of power over the future wife from the girl's father. Times have changed, and the girl's father began to pay the ransom. In both cases, such offerings during the engagement were considered a guarantee of a successful marriage. family life. During such a meeting, the details of the upcoming wedding were discussed:

• the number of guests on each side;
• the date of the celebration was stipulated;
• location;
• other organizational details.

Peter I forbade engagement with minors in Rus' and freed them from previously given obligations, and the Holy Synod ordered to combine the ceremony with the wedding. It was considered dishonorable to break off the engagement, and the initiators were obliged to compensate the injured party for all losses.

What is the meaning of the engagement ceremony

Today, a significant part of young people live under the same roof for a long time, run a common household, and do not dare to legalize their relationship.

Do not neglect the touching and touching procedure when a guy asks for the hand of the bride's parents and anxiously awaits an answer. Of course, it is better to warn about your visit so that future relatives can prepare.

There are opponents of the rite, but we will focus on the positive aspects of the old tradition:

• obtain parental consent new family you will have to make friends, communicate, and sometimes live under the same roof with a new family;
• change the status, inform friends and acquaintances about the upcoming event. Lovers practice communicating their intention in the midst of a party;
• a deliberate decision to marry, because it is better to refuse marriage than to demand a divorce on the second day;
• abstaining from intimate relationships is an argument for the supporters of innocence.

How to choose the right engagement ring

A mandatory attribute of the ceremony is the ring, which future husband gives during the engagement.

Most girls are very kind to such a gift, because it is a symbol of mutual love. What rules to follow when choosing an engagement ring:

• The first thing to do is decide on a budget. You should not buy a gift for fabulous money, because in the future there will be considerable expenses. It's better to prioritize classic style with the presence of some zest;
• The hardest part is choosing the right size. You can seek advice from a beloved friend, but only if you are sure that she knows how to keep secrets and will not reveal your intentions ahead of time;
• remember that the ring is worn on the ring finger, and if you measure the jewelry from the other finger, then the size will not fit;

• You should also decide on the metal. The classic version is a thin gold ring with a diamond;
• with all responsibility approach the choice of stone, since each has its own meaning. Ruby symbolizes blood, pearls - tears, diamond chips - broken love;
• and do not forget about the preferences and tastes of the chosen one.

Gifts and congratulations for a young couple

If you are invited to a festive lunch or dinner, then naturally you need to figure out how to congratulate, what words to choose to sink into the soul and at the same time be parting words for the couple. They can be pronounced in your own words or in poetic form, also written on a postcard, because the main thing is not the form, but the essence. More complex issue- What to gift?

Gifts should be useful, useful to the future family for establishing a life or a joint holiday. It can be unusual, beautiful dishes, bed linen, a set of towels, and close friends can order a couple of T-shirts with funny and funny inscriptions.

• bath towels with initials;
• small porcelain figurines;
• jewelry is given to the bride (tiaras, bracelets, earrings, chains);
• carpets are given if the young have housing;
• a large umbrella for joint walks;
• for honeymoon useful present will be a roomy suitcase or travel bag.

An unforgettable surprise will be a gift made by oneself. After all, it is not always possible to find what you need in stores. A delicious bouquet of sweets prepared with your own hands will become a worthy decoration of the festive table.

A unique surprise will be a collage of photos of future spouses. If you can’t come to the celebration, you can limit yourself to a bouquet by ordering delivery and investing original postcard. Young people must necessarily thank the donor with a return card or a call.

It doesn’t matter at all what gift you will be given, the most important thing is to carry and keep your feelings throughout life together.

Master class on how to make a bouquet of sweets with your own hands.

Before getting married and becoming legal spouses, lovers must go through a mandatory rite of preparation for the wedding - engagement. After this ceremony, the young can be officially considered the bride and groom.

This ritual is very old. In ancient times, many customs and rituals were observed during the engagement. To date, all these rituals and ceremonies are already considered unfashionable and they have lost their beauty, solemnity and style.

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What is an engagement and why is it needed

In our time, the engagement ceremony has become an ordinary formality. But many girls would like to conduct this ceremony the way it was in the old days.

There is no time limit for this ceremony. She can last for months. Basically, it lasts up to 6 months, but there are couples who stretch this process for several years. During this time, future spouses must resolve many issues that relate to their life together. The most basic of them are the housing issue and the future family budget.

Along with these basic concerns, they must carefully prepare for the wedding celebration. Namely:

1. Choice of honeymoon trip (honeymoon);
2. Buying jewelry and accessories;
3. Ordering a wedding banquet and choosing its venue;
4. Distribution of invitations;
5. car order;
6. Choice wedding dresses and a host of other equally important issues.

These worries are of a pleasant nature, but they still take a lot of nerves, time and effort.

You can see it very often on social media these days. the status of a guy or girl that they are engaged to someone. But it happens that for them to be engaged means simply to be in a relationship with someone. And the engagement ritual itself had not yet taken place at that time. For this reason, you should not particularly trust the statuses that are written on the pages social networks, it is better to personally find out from a person whether this is so and congratulate him with warm pleasant words.

How to organize an engagement

In ancient times, this rite was equated to some kind of holiday. The scenario was this:

To date, the place where the engagement will take place does not play a special role. Everything is up to the youth. The main thing is that the groom utters the necessary words to offer his heart and hand to his future wife, and put a ring on her finger.

In its turn, parents give their consent and blessing, and then give parting words for further family life.

To make this day memorable for you for a lifetime, prepare for it in a worthy way. Invite guests in advance and make a menu for the table. The groom should present the bride and mother-in-law with a bouquet of flowers, and the rest of the guests with a small souvenir. And also think about entertainment in advance so that guests do not feel bored.

How does a Russian engagement go?

There are no definite rules on how to conduct an engagement correctly among Russians. Basically, this is happening now according to this scenario: relatives of the young people gather and discuss all the organizational and material issues that should relate to the wedding, what should be on it and where it will take place. Such an event in ancient times in Rus' called the word "handshake".

Now not all future husbands give their beloved a ring. It is customary for him to buy an engagement ring. But what it will be depends only on the choice of lovers. It can be carved, stone or simple.

For some, the engagement day is considered to be the date on which the application for marriage registration was submitted. This day can also be celebrated on a grand scale or in a narrow family circle.

It should also be noted that in Russia it is unfashionable to announce at a banquet that you are going to connect your life with your chosen one by marriage. The older generation prefers to learn such good news in advance. They need to prepare morally and financially to help you, if there is such an opportunity and need. Besides, not a very pleasant surprise if your choice did not please your parents, and they are against the upcoming wedding.

Some people have a habit of talking about everything in last moment, immediately before the wedding itself or a few days before it. This is done in order to make sure of their feelings and the correctness of the choice.

Organizational moments in the engagement

When you arrange the engagement, don't forget these points:

engagement ring

The Russians have recently appeared custom of giving an engagement ring. But not everyone gets this attribute. A lot of young people are not particularly bothered by information about what it should be and give any they like.

But it must be taken into account that the ring, when offering to become a wife, must necessarily be with a pebble. Even if it's not a diamond, but simple stone. An engagement ring should be different from a wedding ring. If the groom gives a ring at the proposal of the hand and heart, which he subsequently puts on the ring finger of his chosen one and in the registry office, then this will be wrong.

A common question is which finger to wear such a ring on. In Western countries, such a ring is worn on left hand on the ring finger, but we have an engagement ring worn on the right hand. This is due to the fact that it is there that the girl will wear in the future. wedding ring. A girl can, after the wedding, if it suits her, wear two rings at the same time. In this case, they must be of the same type of gold and combined with each other.

The choice of the ring also depends on the budget of the future spouse. If there is any doubt or uncertainty when choosing such an ornament, then the groom can consult with the future mother-in-law or best friend bride. They should know the bride's taste better.

Many suitors, due to the absence of any rules during the engagement for a long time, come up with their own original variants proposals of heart and hand. Can buy an engagement ring and wear it on any finger, someone simply buys a ring from any alloy and gives it to the chosen one. The most important condition is that the groom receives a positive response, and the bride is satisfied.

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The engagement consists in the announcement of the young that they have decided to become husband and wife. As a rule, during this period, the bride and groom decide on preparations for the wedding, prepare for the upcoming married life. It is during this period that they can still abandon their decision. The engagement ceremony is a very beautiful tradition, which you need to know about and take into account all the subtleties of its implementation.

According to tradition, the engagement (formerly handshaking) follows the matchmaking and precedes the betrothal, and is important point in pre-wedding preparations. This rite expresses the seriousness and importance of your relationship. If you are not sure about your desire to start a family with this particular person, you should not announce your engagement just because your friends did it. Today, of course, this rite is more conventional and not a mandatory necessity, it is treated as an outdated formality or a beautiful custom that precedes the main moment in life. Whereas before, after the handshake, the wedding simply could not fail. Only extraordinary circumstances, war or natural disasters could interfere with the wedding. And in pre-Petrine times, the violation of collusion was equated with insulting the bride, and the stipulated documents even indicated an impressive amount for refusing to marry.

As a rule, the day of filing an application with the registry office is the day of the engagement. After that, the couple has only a month to really decide for themselves whether this marriage is necessary, whether I want to connect my fate with this person, so as not to regret what happened later.

The parents of the bride and groom should be the first to know about the engagement of their children - this is the main condition for this ceremony. According to Russian tradition, the future husband asks for the hand of his beloved from her father. By the way, this custom has its roots in the deep past, when a man was the head of the family, and this status was unshakable.

As a rule, the bride and groom arrange a meeting of parents from both sides to discuss the details. future wedding(determine the number and composition of guests, venue, organization of the wedding, discuss possible options help of parents to newlyweds at first, etc.).

As soon as the consent of the parents to the marriage is received, and the application is submitted to the registry office, this event can be celebrated by arranging, for example, a gala dinner, at which the engagement and the proposed date of the wedding are announced. You can celebrate this event anywhere, it all depends on your imagination and financial condition. If you have plans to draw up and sign a marriage contract, then this event is the best suited for this. From this moment on, the couple can be called the bride and groom.

In the old days, the parents of the bride appointed the agreed day and time. Often the groom's parents were invited to the bride's house for some holiday under various pretexts, while they were not told a word about the true reasons for the celebration. The groom himself, his parents and close relatives gathered at the bride's house with gifts. In the bride's house, guests were received with all sorts of honors, they bowed to each other and exchanged gifts. A gift to the bride could be in the form of a ring, scarf, gold jewelry, etc. Previously, according to custom, the bride was absent during the conspiracy, but at the end of the evening, on behalf of the bride, one of her relatives brought gifts for the groom and his relatives. As a rule, the bride gave the groom an embroidered shirt, sewn with my own hands. From the agreement to the wedding, regardless of the length of the terms, the groom did not have the right to see the bride. The terms from collusion to marriage could be different, from a week to several months, depending on the circumstances. Later, the custom of not seeing the bride disappeared; the groom could see the bride at any time after the engagement. Before the rite of handshaking, the groom could see the bride only during the bride. It is worth noting that in any public place in the presence of people, the couple could see each other, but no meetings in private before the parental blessing were impossible.

The guests were seated in places of honor under the shrine. For several minutes, guests and hosts sat in silence - this was required by the then customs. At the table, the bride's father announced the engagement in the form of a short speech-toast, ending with a toast. The bride and groom sat side by side at the table, the groom's parents sat on the bride's right hand, and the bride's parents sat on the groom's left. For the engagement, the bride wore a light festive dress, and the groom wore a formal suit. Then the so-called line record was written, which indicated the names of the newlyweds, the expected date of the wedding, the groom's obligation to marry the bride, the obligations of the bride's relatives to marry her and give her a certain dowry (literally everything was entered), as well as possible "fines", a penalty or backwards for failure to fulfill duties, etc. . The party that went back down had to pay the amount, the amount of which would correspond to the state. This amount has always been so great that the burden fell on the shoulders of the violator. Also, it was not uncommon for a condition to be entered in a line record that the husband should not beat his wife so that he could recover for the offense.

On the occasion of the engagement in rich Russian families, the parents of the bride arranged balls with plentiful refreshments. Invitations to the celebration were made in the form of special tickets and sent to those invited, sometimes older family members advertised in newspapers that announced this joyful event. Close relatives, acquaintances and influential people were invited to the ball, where the head of the family officially introduced the bride and groom to everyone.

Although engagements could take place quite at home, without inviting guests. In this case, the parents themselves or the priest who was invited to this event blessed the bride and groom with an icon, and the families exchanged bread and salt. The fathers of the future husband and wife made seven bows to each other and called the wedding date. If the bride's father died, then his brother, or godfather or other male relative took his place. After receiving a parental blessing, the bride and groom traditionally exchanged rings. From that moment on, the young were considered engaged.

According to an old Russian tradition, on the day of the engagement, the groom as a sign strong love presents the bride with an engagement ring, usually with one or more precious stones. On this ring, on its inner side, the groom ordered an engraving of the date of engagement. In addition, the initials of the groom were indicated on the bride's ring, and the bride's on the groom's ring. If the bride accepts the ring, this indicates a confirmation of the intentions of both to marry. If the bride rejects the groom's marriage proposal, then she refuses the ring presented to her. The choice of the ring is up to the groom, there are no special rules, it all depends on certain preferences. As a rule, the bride wears a wedding ring before the wedding on the ring finger. right hand, and on the day of the wedding before meeting with the groom takes off. Then it can be worn over wedding ring, and if the marriage is successful, pass on by inheritance.

Engagement in the traditions of different countries.
In each country, the engagement ceremony had its own characteristics. So, for example, in Germany, it symbolized the beginning of marital relations. Immediately after the betrothal, the couple began to live, as it is now commonly called, a civil marriage. Moreover, this period for a young couple could last more than one year. During this time, the newlyweds established the degree of compatibility and "built" a warm and cozy nest.

In Italy, this rite was understood as preparation for the wedding, while the groom, until the wedding, was only allowed to visit the bride sometimes within the walls of her house under the obligatory supervision of her parents.

In Japan, the bride and groom met precisely at the engagement, since the marriage took place by agreement of the parents. It was considered an official ceremony at which, if the groom's intentions regarding the observance of all formalities were serious, he presented the bride with nine gifts as a gift. If the groom refused to comply with the formalities, he gave fewer gifts. At the same time, the groom's relatives presented future relatives with material compensation and gifts with wishes of good luck. Native brides, for their part, had to give gifts to future relatives in an amount that was half the amount received. Today in Japan, this custom is observed less and less, and grooms give rings to their lovers in the European manner.

In Switzerland, after the engagement, the young had to have a conversation with the priest, which was a kind of test for readiness for married life.

In Spain, a couple could call off their engagement if the wedding dragged on for more than three months.

IN Islamic country, according to Sharia, the engagement is the moment of introducing the bride to the groom, when he is allowed to see her face and exchange a few phrases, but only in the obligatory presence of her relatives. You can not touch the bride before marriage.

Engagement for a young couple is a test period in which they test each other's reliability and ability to support. This period shows how strong the trust of the bride and groom for each other, whether they understand each other, whether they can accept each other's habits and shortcomings. This is the time when a couple finally decides for themselves whether to remain free or seal their relationship with marriage.

For a long time, due to historical reasons, persecutions, hardships and difficulties, the Armenians were scattered all over the world. Therefore, for the Armenian people, a considerable part of which is forced to live outside the borders of their native land, the institution of marriage and family is of particular importance. After all, a family is not only a matter of one's own well-being and prosperity, a family is a cell of society that carries a piece of spirituality, traditions, religion, culture and language of its people. It is not surprising that a special place among them is occupied by wedding traditions and rites.

One of the most important stages of the wedding cycle among Armenians, by right, is considered nshandrek - engagement or betrothal. Literally, nshandrek can be translated as “put a sign, a mark”, and in a more beautiful sense it can be called “blessing of wedding rings”. After all, after this ceremony, it is believed that no one and nothing has the right to interfere with the newlyweds in the unity of their hearts.

Initially, the number of guests, the number of refreshments and the date of the nshandrek were stipulated by the father of the future groom on his special visit to the bride's house. Now, more and more often, for simplicity, this is discussed even during the conspiracy. According to tradition, in the morning on the appointed day in the groom's house, in honor of this joyful event, a ram or calf was slaughtered, after which the meat was sent to the bride's house along with other treats in the form of fruits, drinks and sweets. Here, in the house of the groom, his relatives, the priest and musicians came, where they were generously treated. After that, the whole ceremony, accompanied by musicians, taking with them nshan - a pre-prepared gift for the bride, which was usually jewelry (bracelets, earrings or, most often, a wedding ring), and several beautiful trays or baskets with cognac, wines, fruits and moved with sweets to the house of her parents, where the betrothal ceremony was performed. It began, as it should be, with a festive feast, during which congratulatory toasts and parting words were pronounced. The priest consecrated the treats brought by the groom and the engagement gift, special attention was paid to the cognac brought by the groom, if it was opened and placed on the table, then the bride's parents gave their unspoken blessing to the young, after which the main act of betrothal took place - the groom handing nshan to the bride.

In the modern interpretation of this tradition, by common agreement of the parties, festive tables can be set at the expense of the bride, and the presence of a priest is at the discretion of the newlyweds. Nshandrek today is often arranged in restaurants, which allows you to expand the list of invited guests, while the design of the hall, holiday table or a buffet table are trusted by professionals who are able to make the design and atmosphere of this spiritual holiday unique.

Nshandrek is a beautiful old tradition that confirms the rich culture, which has its roots in the distant past, and the generosity of the Armenian people. Its observance, albeit in a modern version, is a manifestation of respect and memory for the history of ancestors, as well as a cheerful and sincere family holiday.