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The difference between children is 6 7 years. Is there an ideal age gap between children? How to help a child

If the difference between children is 6-7 years or more, will they be friendly? and isn't that a lot? and got the best answer

Answer from Olga Martyanova (Stepanova)[guru]
My sister and I are 8 years apart. She and I were never friends. And in general, we had little “heart to heart” communication. Children with a difference of 8 years have few common interests. I love my sister very much, but over time we did not have common interests. Therefore, between my children the difference is 2 years.

Answer from sona[guru]
It all depends on their character and your upbringing!

Answer from Ludmila A.[guru]
My brother and I have a difference of 6 years, everything happened, but in general we were friends ...

Answer from Evgeshka[guru]
I have many friends with brothers who are 9 years younger than them. So there was a war right between them until everyone grew up and started their own families.

Answer from Maria Safaeva[expert]
Of course they will .... they are relatives ....

Answer from D@shulya[guru]
for friendship do not spill water - too much
responsibility for the younger is shifted to the elder, etc.
parents often say, "you're already big, you should understand, but he's still small ...", and the child is offended.

Answer from Olga Skorishchenko[guru]
my brother and I have a difference of 5 years .. we were not very friends in childhood ... we always swore and fought. .
but when they grew up, everything changed ...))

Answer from lime wedge[guru]
I have a brother who is 6 years younger than me. When I was 10 we played together, at 12-13-14 we swore and fought (!!!). Now I am 19, he is 13. And I will tear anyone for him. This is how our relationship changed :)

Answer from User deleted[guru]
It is believed that the optimal difference between children is 2.5 - 4 years. But in most cases, the relationship between children in the family is determined by the psychological work that was carried out with the eldest child during pregnancy and the one that has been going on since the birth of the second baby. This is where mom sets the tone. The main thing is not to let everything take its course. But even if the moment is “missed”, it is never too late to start making friends with children - a wise mother has many methods in her arsenal. Good luck to you!

Answer from Katerina Turubanova[master]
I have the same children, teach them to love each other and take care of better friends then there will be no

Answer from Lena[master]
It's not about the age difference! an older child should help you with small ones and then love will be huge for the baby, I have examples where the difference is 5 - 7 and even 11 years between children and they love and help each other all their lives talk more with the older child

Answer from Laura[guru]
everyone has their own

Answer from Ўliya Ivanova(Geek)[guru]
Daughter 13, son almost 6, soon there will be a baby. Well, sometimes they quarrel, who doesn’t, but the eldest takes care of her brother, hugs, kisses. Anything happens. I believe that age will not interfere with normal relationships in the future.

Answer from [email protected] [guru]
Mom and brother have been friends since childhood! (difference 10 years)
They will not be interested in playing together, but they will support each other. the optimal difference is 4 years.

Answer from Liudmila Celik[guru]
It is unlikely that they will have common games and interests, but they will love each other, of course.

Answer from Athlete[master]
The main thing is to understand that you gave birth to a second child for yourself, and not for an older one, do not shift your responsibilities to him!

Answer from Anna Kolabanova[guru]
My sister and I are 9 years apart. Of course, when I was 14 and she was 5, she strained me a lot, take a walk, take me to the kindergarten. take it. As if I didn't have anything else to do. Well, sometimes she got hit in the neck, but nothing. And now, when I am 34, and she is 25, what happiness that she is!

Answer from Sawka sawka[guru]
It seems to me that the point is not in the difference, but in how the parents bring up and behave in the family .... friendliness can even be with a 10, 15 year difference

Answer from Olga Olga[guru]
My brother and I have a difference of 12 years ... we have a good, calm relationship, no one bothers anyone anymore ... but it wasn’t always like that when he was little - I had a lot of worries and responsibility for him, sometimes it was very it’s a shame that I can’t go for a walk with my girlfriends, but I have to sit with him ....

Answer from I fly according to my mood[guru]
They have a slightly different relationship. They are comfortable with each other, but there are no common interests and friends.

Many parents, when planning a second child, think about what the age difference between children should be so that they are friendly with each other. But there is no clear answer to this question, each child is unique, for one appearance younger brother at the age of two, a joyful event, and for another, even in adolescence, such news can be a shock. But in order for children to perfectly find a common language with each other, not only age is important, but also many other factors.

In order to derive the ideal age difference between children in a family, several options can be considered. So, what will be the relationship within the family if the difference between the children is 7 years. If the first child is already seven years old, then this is a completely independent little man, he already goes to school. An older child can become a good nanny to the younger one, because they have no rivalry for toys, a completely different range of interests, and the older one will treat the whims of the younger one with understanding. But other developments are also possible. The older one is used to being the center of parental attention, so it can be very difficult for him to survive the changes associated with the birth of a baby. In this case, the child will express his protest by changing his behavior beyond recognition. If parents do not deprive their firstborn of attention, in advance, even before the birth of the baby, they mentally prepare the child for the upcoming changes, they will constantly involve him in communication with the smaller child, the older child will feel that his parents need him. And in this case, neither protest nor jealousy will arise in the heart of the first child.

In order for a certain contact to be established between the older and smaller child, it is necessary to encourage communication between them in every possible way, ask the elder for help and praise him at every opportunity, try to spend time not only with the baby, but also with the older child, talk with him, take an interest in his affairs.

If the difference is 6 years between children, then it will be a little more complicated. This situation is complicated by the fact that during this period of life the eldest child is just going to school, right now he needs all the attention, patience and care of his parents. If parents can plan their time correctly so that the student does not feel discomfort and lack of parental attention, then with such a difference in age, strong friendship, trust and mutual understanding between children is quite possible in the future.

If the difference between the children is 5 years, then it can be called ideal. The first child is already independent in many matters, besides, children at this age go to kindergarten, so the mother will not need to be at home with two children at the same time. After taking the elder to the garden, the mother will be able to devote herself to the baby, and in the evening you need to devote more time to another child. The elder will watch with interest the development of the younger, will play with him, but not very often, because their interests are completely different. But at an older age, usually, such children are very friendly.

When planning a second pregnancy, it is important to know that the female body is restored and will be fully ready for the re-bearing of a new life only two years after the birth of the first. If the firstborn was breastfeeding, then one year after weaning, you can plan the next pregnancy.

If the second child is not born at the huge request of the first, as a living toy, and the first child does not automatically turn into a permanent nanny to the second, then the children will not feel hostility towards each other. Parents who give equal amounts of love to their children will lay a solid foundation for their continued good relationship.

Children with a minimal age difference seem to many to be the ideal option. Typically, babies have common interests, toys, and becoming older - mutual friends. The same age also implies the same organization of the daily routine, reading the same books and attending developmental classes. And the mother has not yet lost the skills of caring for the baby. Psychologists believe that brothers and sisters with a difference in age of 1-2 years usually grow up as friends - it is less likely that someone will be jealous, and someone will grow up an egoist.

However, there can be plenty of downsides in this situation. Two small children, especially if they are of the age, become a big burden, both physical and emotional. All feelings can be swallowed up by fatigue: it is necessary to bathe, feed, put children to bed at the same time. And they usually get sick at the same time. A banal walk in the fresh air can also become a problem, given that it is not so easy to choose transport for a walk, think over and comply with the fee algorithm. It is good if there are assistants in the person of grandparents or a nanny. And if not? Going down and up the stairs with a stroller, a bag and two small children is a real art. Even if the older child is already walking confidently, the walk will not become easier: it is not an easy task to catch up with a baby running across the lawns with a stroller.

Anna Morozova

Child psychologist

“A small age difference can somewhat slow down the development of an older child. Parents, as a rule, teach their children according to the same books and programs, while being equal to the development of the baby. Therefore, older children can learn to read and count a little later than their peers.

In addition, not all mothers themselves are ready for the imminent appearance of a second baby in the family. After all, all love and attention is focused on the firstborn. And for the first months, and even years, it seems that it is impossible to love someone else just as much. As a result, feelings of guilt may arise. There is another important factor. Doctors say that for such a short period between pregnancies, the woman's body does not have time to recover, which can lead to complications for both the mother and the child.

Age difference 2–4 years

The age difference of 2-4 years is considered optimal by many experts. Children are still united by common interests: toys, games, cartoons. The older child already knows how to dress and eat independently, which makes it much easier for mom daily care for the children. At the same time, the baby copies his older brother or sister in everything, which means that he develops much faster. There is an opinion that younger children with a difference of 2-4 years are more developed and quick-witted, besides, the older baby can already show responsibility, which means that he can be entrusted with looking after the baby for a while while mom is busy with housework. In addition, the older child at this age already goes to kindergarten, which means that he has his own interests, friends and favorite activities, he does not need the constant presence of his mother. And from a physiological point of view, a woman's body after 2-4 years is already ready for a new pregnancy.

There can be only one minus in this case, but a big one: the strong jealousy of the elder to the younger. And here it is very important how parents, grandparents behave. In this situation, the ability to equally distribute attention between children, not to single out "favorites", to try to be objective in the analysis of conflicts becomes vital in this situation. Otherwise, the relationship between the children will be spoiled. For a working mother, the situation can also be difficult, because only after leaving the maternity leave, getting involved in work and learning new information, she will again have to go on maternity leave. Returning to the profession, and even more so career growth, will require more effort in the future.

Age difference 5–7 years

The age difference of 5-7 years allows you to pay attention to both the youngest and the oldest child. The first-born becomes more reasonable and quite independent. He spends part of the time at school, and the mother can pay attention to the baby. At the same time, a first-grader is adapting to school, which means that a mother on maternity leave has advantages over a working mother. She manages to prepare breakfast for the child, take him to school and pick him up immediately after school, without leaving him on after-school until the evening. You can devote more time to preparing lessons, playing games and walking in the park. Joint games of children are still possible, but not as often as we would like. In such a difference in age, one can also find economic benefits. In the future, when children become students, tuition fees will have to be paid in turn.

Julia Nikolaeva

Psychologist

“Still, this age difference can be tricky. These children have little in common, parents will have to take into account different interests. You should not turn the first-born into a “free nanny” or infringe on his development. It's about ensuring that the older child attends circles, sections and events, even if it is difficult to do this with a stroller.

Age difference more than 8-10 years

At 8-10 years old and older child already a completely independent person. He is used to being in the center of parental attention, which means that changes can cause protest. Moreover, they can come at a time of transition. The temptation to turn the older child into the first housekeeper and nanny, especially if it is a girl, is great. Of course, at first, the child will happily take care of the baby, but you should not turn the joy of communication into a duty. Such a difference in age, of course, excludes competition for toys, but the attention of parents is necessary for the first-born in the same volume as before. So, in order to exclude jealousy between children, parents need to show maximum patience, mental and moral strength and ensure the older child's usual course of life. You should not perceive the youngest child as an "outlet" and go into it from difficulties in relations with a teenager, this can lead to the formation of an abyss between parents and an older child and cause unkind feelings towards the baby.

You should not compare children with each other, this provokes competition. It is important to preserve individuality in each child, which means that it is better to take into account the interests of each, and not to lead children into one circle, because it is more convenient. Children have the right to their own separate toys, therefore, it is better to immediately explain to the baby that taking things from an older brother or sister is possible only with permission. Once again, cooking a child’s favorite dish will help to show love and care, even if cooking several different dinners or lunches can be difficult.

And yet there are no definite rules when to give birth to children. Each family, to its taste, can determine the time of the birth of a second child better than any psychologist. The main thing is that the parents themselves should be ready, have the desire and the opportunity to devote sufficient time to the upbringing and development of both kids.

Reading 7 min.

So the stage of preschool childhood has come to an end, and several difficult periods of personality formation are left behind. However, you are standing in the way of a difficult and at the same time interesting time. The six-year plan is on the verge of major changes. He already has a personal opinion, can defend his point of view, has learned some social norms, controls his behavior, helps friends. In our article, we will talk about what psychological changes await your child and how to help him go on a new path.

Psychology at 6-7 years old - another transitional period

How are relationships with peers?

The age of 6-7 years is characterized by a significant turn in friendly relations. If earlier children did not need peer society, then at this stage the process of socialization is in full swing. The guys can already talk about where they were, what they saw, make plans for the near future and share them with pleasure. They develop a full-fledged communication, not at all connected with toys.

At 6-7 the first real friends appear

This age allows the guys to gather in groups of 2-3 people, thereby showing their preference. And this is true for both girls and boys. There are often disputes in their team, during which the terrible “I will never be friends with you again” may sound. Adults are well aware that children's grievances are easily forgotten, but for children 6-7 years old this is a real psychological drama.

The main task of parents is to support the child, the ability to find important words, help to live through the first experiences. In no case should one treat children's experiences with mockery and express negativity towards his friends.

The child's confidence is the most important thing at this age.

Important! Find time to just sit with your child, listen to him silently, hug him, sometimes this is enough.

How are relationships with the opposite sex?

This age sometimes brings surprises of first love, which can be found anywhere. An attentive parent can notice the changes that happen to the child: the sparkle of the eyes, the smile is full of mystery, and the look is a riddle. How to be in such a difficult situation?

At 6-7 years old, many children are visited by their first love.

Child psychologists give quite effective recommendations:

Be tactful, any careless statement like: “this boy is not a match for you”, “you still know how many of these Len will be”, “don’t make me laugh, what love at your age” can have a negative impact on the adult life of a child. The main task of parents is to ensure that the child is not afraid to share his experiences, so that he feels supported.
Be alert, talk to the baby, explain what is good, what is bad.
The task of fathers is to properly teach their boy to act from an early age, primarily by example. Otherwise, the boy does not understand how to behave, he is afraid of the ridicule of his friends, as a result, he pulls his “object of love” by the pigtails, says hurtful words. It is necessary to intervene and explain to him that such behavior is slightly different from the male. The same applies to girls, they should understand that courtship must be accepted with dignity, and not beat the boy with a book on the head.
You need to use your sense of humor, tune in to the same wavelength with the child. You can tell a funny story on a similar topic from your childhood, about one funny boy, thereby adding confidence to him.

First love can manifest itself in endless conflicts

You need to be able to keep a secret, and not share incredible news with the whole family, since you have been entrusted with the most intimate. Children's innermost feelings should be preserved, if necessary, console, support.

What difficulties can you face?

Child psychology says that the age of 6-7 years goes through the stage of another crisis. In some children, the fracture begins at age 6, while in others it shifts by age 8. The child's assessment of his place in society changes, he stands on the threshold of school, new relationships, social life, an unfamiliar position - a schoolboy, which is highly valued by adults. He does not always want to change something in his

Disobedience at 6-7 years old is a manifestation of the crisis

her life, but the new role pushes him to these changes.

During the turning point of 6-7 years, psychology focuses on experiencing the inner life, which consists of the level of the child's claims, self-esteem, and expectations.

Crisis at 6-7 years old - manifestations

These emotions influence his behavior in a given situation. This is where the antics appear, which child psychology calls spontaneity. With the help of mannerisms, children show that they are on the verge of a turning point, their inner world begins to differ from the outer, although they are also open to the world. When a child comes out of a crisis, he copes with what age requires of him, then negative emotional reactions, antics and manners disappear.

How to help a child?

The age of 6-7 years is associated with the rapid growth of the child, he grows literally by the hour, it is difficult for him to sit in one position, and at school he must be stationary for a long time. Therefore, it is important to observe the motor regime, psychology claims that this is the main need of his age, this is especially true for a boy. If you have an active boy, then after school you need to take him in the sports section, the pool, the choreography is good for girls.

Ready for school - requirements

At this age, the child still wants to be good, he is already well aware when he did wrong, he is embarrassed about this, gets upset if something did not work out so well, feels sincere joy when he is given a useful assignment.

In order not to drown out such noble urges in the future, it is necessary to talk with the baby more often, analyze actions, concepts of morality, for example, “a good boy is protecting girls, helping old people.”

The age of 6-7 years is characterized increased self-esteem child, which gradually becomes adequate.

Sukhomlinsky's quote about the beginning of the school period

Therefore, upbringing implies an assessment of the result of his actions, but it should be remembered that a person cannot be assessed so as not to lower the self-esteem of the baby. It is necessary to criticize the actions of the baby, and not himself, he is not bad, but his behavior leaves much to be desired. This period characterizes an increase in memory capacity, stability of attention, therefore, education includes the joint reading of encyclopedias, watching educational programs, and it is important to do this together.

How to cultivate responsibility?

The time of carefree childhood is coming to an end, so the moment of development of such concepts as responsibility and duty will be important for the child. The upbringing of these qualities falls on the shoulders of the parents.

Responsibility at 6-7 years old depends on the attitude of adults

This age includes:

Performing simple duties, such as watering flowers, helping to clean the dishes, clean up the room, and the boy also has to do household chores.
Praise for the work done, but it must be done deservedly. It is better to pay attention to what the baby did, and not to what he did not succeed. It is necessary to patiently teach him to redo low-quality work.
Give the children a choice, for example: “You quickly clean the room and go for a walk, or I clean alone and then we won’t have time for a walk.”

The age of 6-7 years is new stage in the life of a child, and the task of parents is to help him go along this path.

Small age difference (up to 2 years)

Advantages of a small age difference between children:

Children of the same weather get used to being together everywhere: going to school and kindergarten together, playing together. They have a common daily routine, they read the same books, they love the same games.

This option can be profitable and economically: a lot of things remain from the older child (clothes, stroller, car seat, toys).

The undoubted advantage of a small age difference is also one, albeit a slightly prolonged maternity leave for mom, after which she will be able to continue building her career.

Cons of a small age difference between children:

A significant disadvantage is the load on the mother's body. According to doctors, a girl needs at least 2-3 years to fully recover after childbirth.

A child in the first months of life requires a lot of attention. If two children grow up in a family with a small difference in age, feeding, walking, and illness sometimes become a serious test for parents.

Growing children of the same weather can also bring parents a lot of anxiety: they will also misbehave, swear and fight together.

Age difference of 3 to 4 years

According to psychologists and doctors, 3-4 years is the optimal age difference between children.

Pros:

The older child becomes independent, perceiving himself as a separate person. He can serve himself and provide his mother with simple assistance. Children are close in development, and an older child can become an example for a younger brother or sister.

Gynecologists also claim that this is the best age difference between children. The female body has time to recover and prepare for the next pregnancy and feeding.

Mom's opinion

Maria Trofimova, mother of two children: The eldest child, Vanechka, is 4 years old, and recently I gave birth to my long-awaited daughter, Anya. I watch with tenderness the relationship of children. Once, when Anyuta started crying, Vanya ran up to me and told me that my little sister was being naughty because she was hungry. I clarified how he knew this, and my son replied that he had asked her.

Minuses:

For many girls, the disadvantage of such a difference in age is repeated pregnancy and decree. As soon as social life and a career begin to improve, you have to return to sleepless nights and diapers again.

Many parents who have children with such a difference in age are faced with the jealousy of an older child. The kid needs a lot more care, and the older one sometimes does not get the necessary affection and attention.

Very often, the older child's behavior deteriorates, he becomes aggressive or hyperactive, thereby trying to attract the attention of his parents.

Age difference from 5 to 7 years

The age difference between children from 5 to 7 years old can also be considered optimal according to many criteria:

Pros:

Improved financial situation and living conditions families. Parents have time to enjoy full life: travel, communicate with friends, visit theaters, cinemas.

The second child is desired and long-awaited.

Older children have new interests, hobbies, friends, they no longer torment their parents with their childish jealousy, often they themselves beg for a brother or sister.

The appearance of a new family member has a beneficial effect on the formation of the character of older children: they become responsible, executive.

Minuses:

An older child may not be too interested in spending time with a younger one, while little ones, on the contrary, often reach out for their adult brothers and sisters. On this basis, conflicts, mutual insults are possible.

Expert opinion

Ekaterina Dmitrieva, psychotherapist: In order for children to live in harmony with each other, it is not so much the difference in their age that is optimal, but the atmosphere of genuine sincerity, love and acceptance within the family, high-quality relationships between parents. Responsibility for the well-being of the whole family, each of its members, for the harmonious development of their children, realized and accepted by father and mother. It is optimal for each child to feel loved and accepted by both mom and dad, to feel parental protection, support in the development and formation of personality. Each of the children should know that he is self-sufficient, incomparable with anyone, this will allow the kids to learn how to live in harmony with themselves and others.

Age difference over 8 years

Pros:

The older child is already completely independent and independent. If a 4-5-year-old baby could only provide parents with simple help (bring a diaper, put away toys), then a teenager is able to go to the store, change the baby and even sit with him.

Parents do not worry about the fact that their little son or daughter has become quite an adult. The second child will not let the parents feel alone.

Minuses:

A large age difference leads to the fact that the childhood of the youngest child coincides with adolescence senior. A once obedient kid can turn into a jealous rebel, and the phrase “you are the elder, you must ...” causes protest, withdrawal into oneself, an emotional break with parents. The older child should know and feel that he is loved no less, feel emotional security.

Often younger children grow up spoiled, infantile, dependent.

The age of the parents also matters. A sleepless night at 25 and 35 is experienced differently. By middle age, many diseases can manifest in parents, there are problems with pressure, with the heart.

What should be considered the optimal age difference between children? It is difficult to give a definite answer to this question. Every child is different, and what's perfect for one family can be disastrous for another. family relationships, material well-being, the personal characteristics of the child will allow you to make right choice. If the second pregnancy was a surprise, surround both children with care and love, and any difference in their age will be the best.

Children with a minimal age difference seem to many to be the ideal option. As a rule, kids have common interests, toys, and becoming older - common friends. The same age also implies the same organization of the daily routine, reading the same books and attending developmental classes. And the mother has not yet lost the skills of caring for the baby. Psychologists believe that brothers and sisters with a difference in age of 1-2 years usually grow up as friends - it is less likely that someone will be jealous, and someone will grow up an egoist.

Anna Morozova

Child psychologist

Age difference 2–4 years

The age difference of 2-4 years is considered optimal by many experts. Children are still united by common interests: toys, games, cartoons. The older child already knows how to dress and eat independently, which greatly facilitates the daily care of children for the mother. At the same time, the baby copies his older brother or sister in everything, which means that he develops much faster. There is an opinion that younger children with a difference of 2-4 years are more developed and quick-witted, besides, the older baby can already show responsibility, which means that he can be entrusted with looking after the baby for a while while mom is busy with housework. In addition, the older child at this age already goes to kindergarten, which means that he has his own interests, friends and favorite activities, he does not need the constant presence of his mother. And from a physiological point of view, a woman's body after 2-4 years is already ready for a new pregnancy.

Age difference 5–7 years

Julia Nikolaeva

Psychologist

Age difference more than 8-10 years

At 8-10 years old and older, the child is already a completely independent person. He is used to being in the center of parental attention, which means that changes can cause protest. Moreover, they can come at a time of transition. The temptation to turn the older child into the first housekeeper and nanny, especially if it is a girl, is great. Of course, at first, the child will happily take care of the baby, but you should not turn the joy of communication into a duty. Such a difference in age, of course, excludes competition for toys, but the attention of parents is necessary for the first-born in the same volume as before. So, in order to exclude jealousy between children, parents need to show maximum patience, mental and moral strength and ensure the older child's usual course of life. You should not perceive the youngest child as an "outlet" and go into it from difficulties in relations with a teenager, this can lead to the formation of an abyss between parents and an older child and cause unkind feelings towards the baby.

Children of different ages do not always find a common language

IN different ages children differently perceive the appearance of a second baby in the family. Some begin to be jealous of their parents for the baby, others help their mother, others willingly play with their brother or sister.

When choosing the moment when you can conceive a second child, you should also take into account the fact that the mother needs to recover from the first birth and return to work if she wants to build a career. What interval is optimal?

The difference in the age of children is 1 year: the pros

With a minimum age difference, it is easy for children to communicate

The small difference in age is almost not felt. Children develop at the same time: they general circle communication, similar interests and hobbies, they like the same toys. The weather is comfortable to spend time together: they get along well in the common room and do not part almost all day. Mom can calmly do household chores and pay more attention to herself and her husband while the kids play together.

The difference in the age of children is 1 year: cons

The birth of children with a minimum age difference does not put an end to a career

The difference in the age of children 2-4 years: pluses

Children with a small age difference have common interests

Psychologists say that this difference in the age of children is better than others. The interests of kids, as well as those of the weather, are the same, and they can easily make friends. At the same time, the first-born is already able to serve himself. He learned how to eat, dress, invent games without outside help.

younger child observes him and repeats his actions. An older brother (sister) can help mom, look after the little one while she is busy with household chores. He takes it seriously.

We noticed that children born 2-4 years after the first are intelligent and talented.

The difference in the age of children 2-4 years: cons

Children with a difference in age of 2-4 years often envy each other

The main disadvantage is the jealousy of the older child to the baby. If adults cannot learn to give the same amount of attention to children, without singling out a "favorite", to give love to both, then problems can be avoided. But often this does not happen: the relationship of children is spoiled, sometimes for life. Eternally competing sisters, stealing boyfriends from each other and taking revenge for who knows what, probably have exactly this difference in age.

The difference in the age of children 5-7 years: pluses

If the age difference between children is quite large, mom does not need to be torn

The first-born became a schoolboy, reasonable and quite independent. He spends part of the day in the classroom, so the mother can devote more time to the second baby, not feel a lot of stress while caring for the newborn. At the same time, the student also does not feel deprived: they serve him breakfast in the morning, meet him after class in the afternoon, help him to do homework. If a woman were to leave maternity leave, it would become more difficult to implement.

The difference in the age of children 5-7 years: cons

The age difference of five years is convenient for parents, but it is important to pay attention to the older child.

The difference in the age of children 8-10 years: pluses

If the difference in the age of children is 8-10 years, the eldest child is able to help his mother

At 8-10 years old, a child is by no means helpless. He is able to warm up and even cook his own food, wash clothes. He does not need to be taken away from school, you can give him some degree of freedom.

The difference in the age of children 8-10 years: cons

A ten-year age difference: the oldest child is also still small

When the child was the only one in the family, he had the feeling that the world revolves exclusively around him. If parents have another baby, it will be a tragedy: the usual picture will change. Selfishness provokes a manifestation of protest, and sometimes open aggression. Mom and dad, who are going to inform the child about the imminent birth of a baby, will probably have to hard fight for peace in the house.

The difference in the age of children over 10-12 years: pluses

When the difference between the children is large, the mother may feel younger.

The difference in the age of children over 10-12 years: cons

An older child may not understand his parents if his age difference with the younger one is large.

Let's look at four options with their pros and cons: a difference of 1-2 years, 3-5 years, 5-10 years and more than 10 years. Much depends on how long you are planning, how old you are, and in what conditions you live, but still, it is the time interval that fundamentally distinguishes the nature of the relationship between siblings and a specific set of problems for parents.

weather

Often cause early pregnancy becomes an "oversight". Many mothers and fathers believe that they will not become pregnant until they are breastfeeding or the first “critical days” have not come. And for some of them, those days never come. The first pregnancy smoothly passes into the second (third, fourth ...). There are also parents who want to raise "friends" or are worried about their mature age and consciously take this step.

In general, children-weather - it's almost. Both want their mother's attention, ask for their hands, lay claim to their breasts, share their mother's health, strength and patience in two.

Children grow up together, you don't have to go through growing up twice.

The total maternity leave is reduced from 6 to 4 years, after which you will be able to continue your career growth (or give birth to a third).

The experience of the first pregnancy and caring for an older child is still very fresh in my memory, which also saves you time and nerves.

Kids entertain each other, and you can go about your business.

Children often become true friends, as they have similar interests, the younger one pulls up to the level of the older one.

As a rule, it is the weather that has less jealousy, since the older child has not yet had time to get used to the fact that he is the "center of the universe."

The mother's body is still exhausted by the first pregnancy, and raising an older child does not leave the strength and opportunity to properly relax.

The second pregnancy is constantly under threat: the elder asks for hands, pushes, and his weight is already higher than it should be for a woman in position. Mom often has to "risk" so that the child does not feel left out.

You may experience deja vu, the feeling that you are "mired in diapers and diapers."

With the advent of the second child, relations with her husband are heating up due to the fact that there is practically no time and energy left for each other.

3 to 5

This is the most desired age difference popular among parents and doctors. The body has already managed to recover, and the older child begins to ask for a “sister”.

You have had time to rest and are physically ready for pregnancy and childbirth. (This is especially true for those who have had a caesarean section)

The difference between the children still allows them to be friends.

The older child is already “getting off” and can help you a little in caring for the younger one.

Younger children with such a difference in age copy the older ones and develop at an amazing rate.

Jealousy between children becomes the cause of quarrels and resentment.

Going to work is delayed or you have to go on a new decree after a short period.

Psychologists say that it is this age period that is most explosive in terms of jealousy. Try to prepare the elder for the arrival of a new member of your family and do not force him to look after a brother or sister if he resists this.

6 to 10 years

You have had time to properly take a break from diapers and take care of yourself.

The older child goes to school and you stay with the younger one for a long time.

The elder can help in the care of the younger, look after him, take custody of him.

An older child can already explain something and hope for understanding.

Much of the experience with the older child has already been erased from memory. You'll have to go through everything from the beginning.

Jealousy can take a more aggressive turn.

Children are not interested together, they have too different hobbies and levels of development.

Studying at school, doing homework and attending clubs require a lot of time and attention from parents.

10 and older

What matters here is what position your first child takes. If he favorably relates to pregnancy, then perhaps he will become junior second father or second mother, will protect the baby and be happy to deal with him. If he did not want replenishment in the family, then the younger one will seem to him a burden, and requests for help will burden and annoy him.

The first child is already moving away from you, he reaches out to his peers. The second child will smooth this gap, it will help you to let go of the older one more easily into adulthood.

The eldest can already take care of himself and take on some of the household duties.

You miss the little kids.

Instead of the long-awaited “live for yourself” for many, you will again have to stay up at night and limit your life to what is suitable for a small child.

Children will no longer be playmates.

There is no perfect family template. Someone is sad from loneliness, and someone complains about the annoying "small". Whether you want to have children, when and how much you want them is up to you and your spouse. In any situation, you can find the positive side and adjust the negative. It would be health, and the rest will be added.

At different ages, children differently perceive the appearance of a second baby in the family. Some begin to be jealous of their parents for the baby, others help their mother, others willingly play with their brother or sister. When choosing the moment when you can conceive a second child, you should also take into account the fact that the mother needs to recover from the first birth and return to work if she wants to build a career.

What interval is optimal?

With a minimal age difference, it is easy for children to communicate. The small difference in age is almost not felt. Children develop simultaneously: they have a common circle of friends, similar interests and hobbies, they like the same toys. The weather is comfortable to spend time together: they get along well in the common room and do not part almost all day. Mom can calmly do household chores and pay more attention to herself and her husband while the kids play together.
Psychologists note that the weather rarely requires behavior correction. The older baby is not jealous of his parents for the younger one, because by the time of his birth he had not yet managed to become an egoist. Children need a play companion and see a brother (sister) as a friend.
If a woman wants to build a career, then the minimum interval between pregnancies is convenient for her. At first, he frightens: it seems to a young mother that her ambitions are buried under a mountain of diapers. Every year counts and unexpected - and the birth of a baby is often unplanned - conception is perceived as a tragedy, the collapse of professional hopes. It is difficult for a woman to cope with two children, so the situation seems hopeless.
In fact, a four-year maternity leave is much more convenient than two three-year ones. In addition, the woman remembers well all the stages of the development of the baby and does not experience difficulties in caring for the second child when he is born a year after the first.

Many parents admit that the second child was not planned. Pregnancy becomes both for the young mother and for her husband not even a surprise, but a shock. They barely got used to the idea that they are parents, began to get used to the role, learn to care for the baby, and are not yet ready for the birth of another toddler. It seems to them that they do not have enough strength for two children.
Indeed, caring for babies at first will be very burdensome. Both need to be fed, bathed, dressed, rocked. All this takes so much energy that spouses will need wisdom and patience to avoid constant conflicts. Life in constant physical and moral stress is an excellent ground for quarrels.
It is good if parents help a young family. Grandparents will come in very handy. They can take on some of the responsibilities: cook, look after the child when his mother is busy with another baby.
A woman's body does not have time to recover in a year after carrying a baby and giving birth. The second can pass with complications.

The difference in the age of children 2-4 years

Children with a small age difference have common interests. Psychologists say that this difference in the age of children is better than others. The interests of kids, as well as those of the weather, are the same, and they can easily make friends. At the same time, the first-born is already able to serve himself. He learned how to eat, dress, invent games without outside help. The younger child watches him and repeats his actions.
An older brother (sister) can help mom, look after the little one while she is busy with household chores. He takes it seriously.
Children born 2-4 years after the first are smart and talented.
A woman's body needs 2 years to prepare for a second pregnancy. Obstetrician-gynecologists advise choosing just such a gap: the difference in the age of babies, in their opinion, should be about 3 years.

Children with a difference in age of 2-4 years often envy each other. The main disadvantage is the jealousy of the older child to the baby. If adults cannot learn to give the same amount of attention to children, without singling out a "favorite", to give love to both, then problems can be avoided. But often this does not happen: the relationship of children is spoiled, sometimes for life. Eternally competing sisters, stealing boyfriends from each other and taking revenge for who knows what, probably have exactly this difference in age.
It will be difficult for a young mother who does not want to put an end to career claims after the birth of babies. As soon as she got out of her maternity leave, having begun to restore contacts, sometimes - to practically re-learn the profession, since in some areas a lot can change in a few years, she again goes on maternity leave. You need to make an effort so that your career is not ruined.

The difference in the age of children 5-7 years

If the age difference between children is quite large, mom does not need to be torn. The first-born became a schoolboy, reasonable and quite independent. He spends part of the day in the classroom, so the mother can devote more time to the second baby, not feel a lot of stress while caring for the newborn. At the same time, the student also does not feel deprived: in the morning they serve him breakfast, in the afternoon they meet him after class, he is helped to do his homework. If a woman came out of maternity leave, it would become more difficult to carry out.
The first child can become an assistant to the parents. The main thing here is to prevent jealousy.
The age difference of 5-7 years is quite large. Parents have the opportunity to pay for the education of both children, and this burden will not become unduly burdensome. For many families, making two payments at the same time each year is not easy.

The age difference of five years is convenient for parents, but it is important to pay attention to the older child.
Probably, a newborn and a schoolboy will not play together. And later their interests are unlikely to coincide: interests, intellectual development, social circle - they have almost everything different.
It is important for parents to give their first child enough attention. He is going through a difficult period: he adapts to new conditions, starting to go to school. The child is stressed and in dire need of adult support. If the baby becomes the main one in the family, then the older baby develops resentment towards his parents, jealousy, and often anger at his brother or sister.

The difference in the age of children 8-10 years

If the difference in the age of children is 8-10 years, the eldest child is able to help his mother. At 8-10 years old, a child is by no means helpless. He is able to warm up and even cook his own food, wash clothes. He does not need to be taken away from school, you can give him some degree of freedom.
Parents manage to improve their financial situation, move up the career ladder by the time the second baby is born. Caring for a baby does not become a heavy burden for them. They managed to see the world, learn to find compromises, treat the birth of a child responsibly.

A ten-year age difference: the eldest child is also still small. When the child was the only one in the family, he had the feeling that the world revolves exclusively around him. If parents have another baby, it will be a tragedy: the usual picture will change. Selfishness provokes a manifestation of protest, and sometimes open aggression. Mom and dad, who are about to inform the child about the imminent birth of a baby, will probably have a difficult struggle for peace in the house.
Children have no common interests. And you don’t have to wait for help from an older mother either: a baby is a burden for him: it’s better to take a walk with friends than sit with a newborn.
Children with an age difference of 8-10 years, most likely, will never be close. At the same time, they will compete with each other, envy, be jealous. All their lives, sometimes such people are destined to fight for the attention - approval, love - of their parents.
Mom and dad will have to re-learn how to care for a baby: the skills have long been lost. For parents, the birth of a second child will be something completely new.

The difference in the age of children is more than 10-12 years

When the difference between the children is large, the mother may feel younger.
These children for parents become like "the only two." The eldest child for them has already become an established personality. It is important that they allow him to move away from the cares of the family, do not impose care for the baby. Help does not hurt, and firstborns often help adults, but do not forget that the daughter (son) is going through a difficult transition period. It is difficult both physically (girls begin their menstrual cycle) and mentally. A teenager needs to find his place in society, life and Small child shouldn't take up all his time.
The younger child should not be perceived as an “outlet”, moving away from difficulties in relations with the older one, otherwise a gap may arise between parents and a teenager, which will then be difficult to eliminate.
The birth of a baby to the spouses 10 or more years after the appearance of the first child is a wonderful event. They can feel like young parents, re-experience the joy at the first step of the little one.

An older child may not understand his parents if his age difference with the younger one is large.
Kindred feelings between children with a significant difference in age may not be. In any case, the older child will become the aunt or uncle of the younger rather than a brother or sister.

This is only likely development events. Life can turn out differently. Much depends on the characteristics of the family, the development of children.

It is worth noting that when there are not two children in the family, but more, the relationship develops differently. There is no longer a confrontation between the two children, but this does not mean that it is easier to keep peace in the house.

Age difference 2–4 years

Age difference more than 8-10 years

How are relationships with peers?

How are relationships with the opposite sex?

What difficulties can you face?

How to help a child?

How to cultivate responsibility?

Small age difference (up to 2 years)

Age difference of 3 to 4 years

Age difference from 5 to 7 years

Age difference over 8 years

Age difference 2–4 years

Age difference more than 8-10 years

The difference in the age of children is 1 year: the pros

The difference in the age of children is 1 year: cons

The difference in the age of children 2-4 years: pluses

The difference in the age of children 2-4 years: cons

The difference in the age of children 5-7 years: pluses

The difference in the age of children 5-7 years: cons

The difference in the age of children 8-10 years: pluses

The difference in the age of children 8-10 years: cons

The difference in the age of children over 10-12 years: pluses

The difference in the age of children over 10-12 years: cons

The difference in the age of children 2-4 years

The difference in the age of children 5-7 years

The difference in the age of children 8-10 years

The difference in the age of children is more than 10-12 years

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