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Parent meeting about the aggressiveness of children. Parent meeting "Children's aggression

Parent meeting

"Children's Aggression"

Meeting goals:

1 .

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Parent meeting

"Children's Aggression"

Meeting goals:

1 . discuss with parents the causes of child aggression, its impact on the child's behavior.

2. To form in parents a culture of understanding the problem of child aggression and ways to overcome it.

Members: class teacher, parents of children in the class, school psychologist.

Organization of a parent meeting:

preparation of invitations for parents;
questioning;
meeting scenario development;
preparation of a memo for parents;

2 slide Man has the ability to love

and if he cannot find a use for his

ability to love, he is able to hate,

Showing aggression and cruelty. By this means

he is guided as an escape from his own

Heartache….

Erich Fromm

Dear moms and dads. The topic of our new meeting is serious and difficult. This is the theme of the manifestation of cruelty and aggression by our children.

The age of manifestation of aggression is clearly younger. Aggression is shown not only by teenagers and adults, but also by kids. What is it connected with?

How to deal with the manifestation of child aggression? And how we adults can help children overcome it. We will try to answer these and other questions.

Slide

Aggression is behavior that causes harm to an object or objects, a person or a group of people.

4 slide

Aggression can be physical (use of physical force against another person or object, fights), verbal (violation of the rights of another person without physical intervention, quarrel, screaming, squealing), and auto-aggression (self-accusation, self-humiliation, self-inflicted bodily harm)

In psychology, there are two types of aggression:instrumental and hostile.

Instrumental aggression -manifested by a person to achieve a specific goal. It is very often expressed in young children (I want to take away a toy, object). in our children, hostile aggression is more manifested, aimed at hurting a person.

Very often aggression is confused with perseverance, assertiveness.

The level of aggressiveness of children varies depending on the situation to a greater or lesser extent, but sometimes aggressiveness takes stable forms. There are many reasons for such behavior: the position of the child in the team, the attitude of peers towards him, relationships with teachers.

The persistent aggressiveness of some children is manifested in the fact that they sometimes understand the behavior of others differently than others, interpreting it as hostile.

Slide

A common cause of child aggression is the family situation.

Aggressive behavior of family members in everyday life situations: screaming, swearing, rudeness, humiliation of each other, mutual reproaches and insults. Psychologists believe that a child shows aggression in everyday life several times more often where he saw the aggression of adults every day, and it has become the norm of his life.

Inconsistency of parents in teaching children the rules and norms of behavior. This method of raising children is bad because the moral core of behavior is not formed in children: today it is convenient for parents to say one thing, and they impose this line of behavior on children, tomorrow it is convenient for them to say something else, which is again imposed on children.

This leads to confusion, anger, aggression against parents and other people.

6 slide

In education, two pairs of important features can be distinguished that positively or negatively affect the formation of children's aggressiveness:disposition and rejection.

What characterizes and how it affects the overcoming of aggressiveness location ? The family helps the child:

overcome difficulties
uses in its arsenal the ability to listen to a child
includes warmth, a kind word, an affectionate look in communication.

Rejection on the contrary, it stimulates children's aggression. It is characterized by indifference, withdrawal from communication, intolerance and dominance, hostility to the fact of the child's existence. Rejection of the child leads to the manifestation of such a disease as children's hospitalism. What it is? Loneliness, lack of desire to communicate with relatives, lack of traditions, customs, laws in the family.

slide

Encouragement is of great importance in the upbringing of children: by word, look, gesture, action.

9slide

It is very significant for a person and punishment if:

it immediately follows the offense;
explained to the child
it is severe, but not cruel;
it evaluates the actions of the child, not human qualities. When punishing a child, a father or mother shows patience, calmness and restraint.

11 slide

The reasons for the manifestation of child aggression are primarily related to the family.

Constant quarrels of parents, physical violence of parents towards each other, rudeness and rudeness of daily communication, humiliation, sarcasm and irony, the desire to constantly see the bad in each other and emphasize this is a daily school of aggression in which the child is formed and receives lessons in mastery in manifestation aggression.

12 slide

One of the main conditions for preventing aggressive behavior of children is the exactingness of parents in relation to themselves and in relation to their own child. A parent who is demanding of himself will never allow to demand from his child that which he himself does not have in his child. A demanding parent is able to analyze the methods of his upbringing and adjust them taking into account the current situation.

Very often, children's aggressiveness is connected precisely with the fact that parents show unreasonable and meaningless demands, while showing absolutely no friendliness and support. You should not give in to whims and make indulgences unnecessarily.

Demanding in relation to the child must be reasonable.

Being exacting, it is necessary to reckon with the circumstances, with the physical and mental state of the child.

Demandingness is justified when feasible tasks are put forward before the child and all possible assistance is provided in solving them, otherwise it is simply meaningless. Even the most just and uncomplicated demand, if it is not explained and expressed in a despotic form, will arouse the resistance of any child, even the most accommodating one.

The only difference is that an accommodating child will express his protest in a hidden way, and a child who is not very accommodating will express it openly. Requirements to junior schoolchildren better expressed in a captivating game form.

In their methods of upbringing, in presenting exactingness to the child, parents must be consistent and united. As soon as secrets from each other settle in the family, the trust of parents in each other in raising a child goes away, this will enable the child to maneuver between parents, blackmail them, lie to them.

If this succeeds for a long time, and then a ban is imposed, then, as a rule, the result is a manifestation of aggressiveness on the part of the child.

13 slide

IN last years Psychologists consider separately such a cause of children's aggression as the media. The child begins to be influenced by television programs, movies, detective stories filled with various manifestations of aggression. For all school years children spend nearly 15,000 hours watching TV. During this time, they see an average of about 13 thousand cases of violent death. Psychologists have found that children who have seen many acts of violence on TV are more prone to aggressive actions than children who have not seen them. Computer games also contribute to this. By committing virtual acts of violence in them, the child ceases to see the line between play and reality. In preparation for the parent-teacher meeting, we conducted a study of children's attitudes to television programs. I invite you to take a look at the results.

conclusion

The concept of "aggressiveness" is perceived by us as something out of the ordinary. In fact, it is, first of all, a common phenomenon of relationships between people, an integral part of these relationships.

If a child does not take root in a class, a team, behaves badly, does not obey the norms, or is somehow different from others, then, of course, he has his own reasons for this. And this does not mean that we are dealing with a neurotic or some other pathological symptom.

One and the same child can get along well in one group and not at all take root in another. Or this year he may feel good in the team, but not the next, because five old comrades have left the class and new children have come to replace them. But that doesn't mean that this child suddenly became neurotic. Only the situation has changed. Perhaps an aggressive child is experiencing serious problems at home.

Our meeting is coming to an end. I really want it to be useful for you, made you think.

14 slide

Here are some tips:

Learn to listen to your children.
Try to do so that only you, the parents, relieve their emotional stress.
Do not forbid children to express negative emotions.
Learn to accept and love them for who they are.

(Reminders for parents)

Dear dads and moms!

Please read this note carefully! Mentally cross out those points that do not concern the educational system of your family, imagine the face of your child, be honest with him and with yourself! After the analysis, think about what else can be changed. Before it's too late!

Aggressiveness of the child is manifested if,

the child is beaten;
the child is being bullied;
they play a cruel joke on a child;
the child is forced to feel a sense of undeserved shame;
parents knowingly lie;
parents drink and fight;
parents raise a child with double morals;
parents are undemanding and non-authoritative for their child;
parents do not know how to love their children equally;
parents do not trust the child;
parents set the child against each other;
parents do not communicate with their child;
the entrance to the house is closed to the child's friends;
parents show petty guardianship and care to the child;
parents live their lives, the child feels that he is not loved.

VII. Meeting decision.

Observe the emotional state of your child in different settings.
Set up positive emotions.
Follow the rules of the family to overcome child aggression.

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Slides captions:

Aggressive kids. Causes and consequences of child aggression.

A person has the ability to love and can find an application for his ability to love, but he is also capable of hating, showing aggression and cruelty. He uses this remedy as an escape from his own mental pain... Eric Fromm

Aggression - actions or only intentions aimed at causing harm to another person, object.

Manifestations of aggression physical verbal auto-aggression Types of aggression instrumental hostile

Causes of child aggression (family situation) Aggressive behavior of family members in everyday life situations Inconsistency of parents in teaching children the rules and norms of behavior

In education, two pairs of important features can be distinguished: Location The family helps the child: a) overcome difficulties; b) uses in his arsenal the ability to listen to the child; c) includes warmth, a kind word, an affectionate look in communication. Rejection a) stimulates childish aggressiveness b) the child is eliminated from communication c) there is loneliness, d) there is no desire to communicate

Encouragement is of great importance: With a word, with a look, with a gesture, with an action.

Questioning (encouragement)

Very significant for a person and punishment, if: It follows immediately after the misconduct; Explained to the child It is severe, but not cruel; It evaluates the actions of the child, not his human qualities.

Questioning (punishment)

The reasons for the manifestation of child aggression are related to the family: Constant quarrels of parents Physical violence of parents towards each other Rudeness and rudeness, humiliation The desire to see only the bad in each other This is a daily school of aggression in which the child is formed and receives lessons in mastery in the manifestation of aggression

Conditions for preventing aggressive behavior: Demanding parents in relation to themselves and in relation to their own child; A parent who is demanding of himself will never allow to demand from his child that which he himself does not have in his child.

Mass media

Criteria of aggressiveness - child: often loses control over himself; often argues, swears with adults; often refuses to follow the rules; often intentionally annoys people; often blames others for his mistakes; often gets angry and refuses to do anything; often envious, vindictive.

How to help an aggressive child? Dealing with anger. Teaching children the skills of recognition and control, the ability to control themselves in situations that provoke outbursts of anger. Formation of the ability to trust, empathy, empathy.

Tips: Learn to listen to your children; Try to make sure that only you, the parents, relieve their emotional stress; Do not forbid children to express negative emotions; Learn to accept and love them for who they are.

Aggressiveness of the child is manifested if the child is beaten; the child is being bullied; they play a cruel joke on a child; the child is forced to feel a sense of undeserved shame; parents knowingly lie; parents drink and fight; parents raise a child with double morals; parents are undemanding and non-authoritative for their child; parents do not know how to love their children equally; parents do not trust the child; parents set the child against each other; parents do not communicate with their child; the entrance to the house is closed to the child's friends; parents show petty guardianship and care to the child; parents live their lives, the child feels that he is not loved.

In conclusion ... in order not to get annoyed when a child behaves inexplicably badly, you need to ask yourself the question: “I wonder what is happening to him now?”

Congregation Resolution Observe your child's emotional state in a variety of settings. Set up positive emotions. Follow the rules of the family to overcome child aggression.

Thank you for your attention!!!

Kozhevina Angelina Vasilievna

Parent meeting on the topic How to deal with an aggressive child? Causes of child aggression.

Goals and objectives of the meeting:

the formation of parents' ability to identify the causes of aggressiveness of children;
to acquaint with the methods of its correction and their behavior in relations with the child in conflict situations;
to form in parents a culture of understanding the problem of child aggression and ways to overcome it;
outline ways of cooperation between the teacher and parents in the prevention of child aggressiveness.

Aggressiveness is a personality trait that consists in the readiness and preference for the use of violent means to achieve one's goals. Probably, a harmoniously developed personality should have a certain degree of aggressiveness. The needs of individual development in social practice should form in people the ability to remove obstacles, and sometimes even to physically overcome what opposes this process. The complete absence of aggressiveness leads to compliance, to defend an active life position. At the same time, the excessive development of aggressiveness by the type of accentuation begins to determine the whole appearance of the personality, turns it into a conflict, incapable of social cooperation, and in its extreme expression is a pathology (social and clinical), aggression loses its rational-selective orientation and becomes a habitual way of behavior, manifesting itself in unjustified hostility, malice, cruelty, negativism.

The increased aggressiveness of children is one of the most acute problems not only for doctors, teachers and psychologists, but also for society as a whole. The relevance of the topic is undeniable, since the number of children with such behavior is growing rapidly.

The topic is not accidental, since aggression is shown not only by teenagers and adults, but also by our kids - younger schoolchildren.

What is it connected with? How to deal with the manifestation of child aggression? And how can we as adults help children overcome it? We will try to find answers to these and other questions today.

Being born, the child has only two ways of reacting - this is pleasure and displeasure. When a child is full, nothing hurts, the diapers are dry - then he experiences positive emotions, which manifest themselves in the form of a smile, contented cooing, calm and serene sleep.

If the child experiences discomfort for any reason, then he shows his discontent by crying, screaming, kicking. With age, the child begins to show his protest reactions in the form of destructive actions aimed at other people (offenders) or things valuable to them.

Aggression is inherent in every person to one degree or another, as it is an instinctive form of behavior, the main purpose of which is self-defense and survival in the world. But man, unlike animals, learns with age to transform his natural aggressive instincts into socially acceptable ways of responding.

As a rule, we adults know how to restrain anger, but our kids do not yet know how to manage their feelings.

Over time, aggression can be fixed in such personality traits as callousness, causticity, irascibility, so it is necessary to organize help for the child as early as possible.

Express survey:

To determine the relevance of the topic of today's meeting personally for you and your child, I propose to answer the questions of the express questionnaire.

Child in the last year:

Often loses control of himself.
Often argues, swears with adults.
Often refuses to follow the rules.
Often deliberately annoying people.
Often blames others for their mistakes.
Often angry, refusing to do anything.
Often envious, vengeful.
Sensitive, reacts very quickly to various actions of others, which often irritate him.

If you have noted at least four signs, then the child is aggressive. I think this applies to every child in one way or another.

As you can see from the questions of the express questionnaire, aggression can manifest itself not only in fights. Let's, dear parents, let's see how aggression can manifest itself.

Here it is important to emphasize that adults should in no case suppress aggression in their children, since aggression is a necessary and natural feeling for a person. The prohibition or forceful suppression of the child's aggressive impulses can very often lead to auto-aggression (that is, harm will be done to oneself) or go into a psychosomatic disorder.

It is important for parents to teach the child not to suppress, but to control their aggression; to defend their rights and interests, as well as to protect themselves in a socially acceptable way, without prejudice to the interests of other people and without harming them. To do this, it is necessary, first of all, to deal with the main causes of aggressive behavior.

Causes of child aggression:

1. Family" reasons

2. Personal" reasons

3. Situational causes

4. Type of temperament and character traits

5. Socio-biological reasons.

1a. Rejection of children by parents:

This is one of the basic reasons for aggressiveness, and by the way, not only for children. Statistics confirm this fact: often attacks of aggressiveness are manifested in unwanted children. Some parents are not ready to have a child, but it is undesirable to have an abortion for medical reasons, and the child is still born. Although the parents may not tell him directly that he was not expected or wanted, he is well aware of this, as he "reads" information from their gestures and intonation. Such children try by any means to prove that they have the right to exist, that they are good. They try to win their much-needed parental love and tend to do so quite aggressively.

Indifference or hostility from parents.

It is very difficult for children whose parents are indifferent, and even hostile towards them.

Sergei N. has a different fate and other problems. His parents divorced, and also at the initiative of his father. The mother loves her son, this is a desired child. Sergey is already eight, he never saw his father and did not communicate with him. But every day he becomes more and more like his father - and their gestures and gait are almost the same. And the mother would so like to forget about the person who betrayed her! And therefore, she involuntarily begins to get annoyed every time she sees a father in her son. When asked by strangers, Sergey invariably answers that he does not have a father. If they continue to ask, he can flare up and cut off: "The person who left me and my mother is a scoundrel. That's why I don't have a father." But Sergey's aggressiveness can also be directed at his mother, with whom he often quarrels, he is insolent to her.

1b. Destruction emotional connections in family:

The destruction of positive emotional ties both between parents and the child, and between the parents themselves can lead to increased aggressiveness of the child. When spouses coexist in constant quarrels, life in their family resembles life on a dormant volcano, the eruption of which can be expected at any moment. Life in such a family becomes a real test for the child. Especially if parents use it as an argument in a dispute between themselves. Often, to the best of his ability, the child tries to reconcile his parents, but as a result, he himself can fall under the hot hand.

In the end, the child either lives in constant tension, suffering from instability in the home and conflict between the two people closest to him, or becomes callous in soul and gains experience in using the situation for his own purposes in order to extract the most benefit from it for himself. Often such children grow up to be excellent manipulators, believing that the whole world owes them. Accordingly, any situation in which they themselves must do something for the world or sacrifice something is perceived by them with hostility, causing sharp manifestations of aggressive behavior.

1c. Disrespect for the personality of the child:

Aggressive reactions can be caused by incorrect and tactless criticism, insulting and humiliating remarks - in general, everything that can arouse not only anger, but also outright rage in an adult, not to mention a child. Disrespect for the personality of the child and neglect, expressed in public, gives rise to deep and serious complexes in him, causes self-doubt and self-doubt.

1g Excessive control or complete lack of it:

Excessive control over the behavior of the child (hyper-custody) and his own excessive control over himself is no less harmful than the complete absence of such (hypo-custody). Suppressed anger, like a genie out of a bottle, is bound to burst out at some point. And its consequences, from the point of view of an outside observer, will be the more terrible and inadequate, the longer it has accumulated. One of the reasons for suppressed for the time being aggression is the cruel nature of the mother or father. Hard-hearted, overbearing parents seek to control their child in everything, suppressing his will, not allowing any manifestation of his personal initiative and not giving him the opportunity to be himself. They cause the child not so much love as fear. It is especially dangerous if moral isolation, deprivation of a child is practiced as a punishment. parental love. The result of such upbringing will be the aggressive behavior of the "oppressed" child directed at others (children and adults). His aggression is a veiled protest against the existing state of affairs, the child's rejection of the situation of submission, an expression of disagreement with prohibitions. The child tries to defend himself, to defend his "I", and he chooses an attack as a form of defense. He looks at the world warily, does not trust him and defends himself even when no one even thinks of attacking him.

1d. Excess or lack of attention from parents:

When a child is given excessive attention in a family, he becomes spoiled and gets used to the fact that his whims are always indulged. This often happens in families where, as they say, "both mothers and nannies." Parents from the cradle accustom the baby to the idea that he is a heavenly creature that everyone is ready to serve. I just woke up - here are slippers for you so that your legs do not get cold, just reached for the toy - hold it, we will put it in your pen. The desire of parents to please the baby and anticipate his every desire turns against them. If the parents do not fulfill the next whim of such a child, they receive an outburst of aggression in response. They didn’t buy me a toy - I’ll fall on the floor and yell at you until you’re blue in the face, they didn’t let me play with my dad’s knife, I’ll cut the curtains for you with scissors.

The diametrical nature of the emergence of aggression is in the children of eternally busy parents. Their aggression is a way to attract any, even negative, manifestations of parental attention that children need so much. They act according to the principle: "it is better to let him scold than not to notice."

"Adult" perception of the world is very different from children's. What seems to us a trifle may seem to our child a catastrophe of universal proportions. We, adults, sometimes laugh at what happens in children's souls, do not believe them, we believe that they are pretending or indulging.

It often happens that we do not pay attention to the suffering of children, to real mental pain, but at the same time we attach great importance to what seems trifling to them. As a result, the child may feel, or even believe, that adults are completely incapable of understanding him. Not being able to understand means not being able to help. An atmosphere of loneliness and hopelessness thickens around the child, he feels frightened, insecure and helpless. And as a result - inadequate, aggressive reactions.

Often, outbursts of a child's aggressive behavior are directly provoked by adults' attitudes or prohibitions. Imagine that a lively and active child spent a day with a strict nanny. His behavior was tightly controlled, and attempts to play noisy outdoor games were suppressed. If the child did not have the opportunity to openly express his emotions, both positive and negative, all day long, could not physically discharge, then you, dear parents, will have to observe the discharge, and not Freken Bock, who has retired home. His aggression will be due to the accumulated excess of energy, which, as you know, has no property to disappear without a trace.

And given that you came home after a hard day at work and, perhaps, not in the most rosy mood, it remains only to sympathize with you and take advantage of Carlson's immortal advice: "Calm, only calm." Because if you try to put the child at attention, he will most likely become not only aggressive, but also completely uncontrollable, and the matter will end in an uncontrollable long-term tantrum. After all, you have encroached on the main law of the child's behavior: his energy must find a way out. Therefore, it is absolutely necessary for active children to attend kindergarten, where they can run and play enough without fear of showing emotions. And then at home your wayward child will be a quiet angel.

In kindergarten, an active child often becomes the object of complaints from other children, their parents and caregivers. Do not make hasty decisions about punishment, talk to the child, try to find out the true reason for his aggressive behavior. It is quite possible that someone surreptitiously offends your child, but he still does not know how to properly respond to the situation, and due to his “stormy” temperament, he fights or breaks toys.

1zh. Denial of the right to personal liberty:

As soon as the child begins to realize his "I", he begins to divide the world into "us" and "them", respectively, and the surrounding objects are very clearly divided by him into his own and others. From this moment on, he needs his place in the sun and confidence in the inviolability of everything that belongs to him personally.

If parents have the opportunity, you need to allocate a separate room for the child or fence off his personal corner in the common room with a closet or screen. It is important that parents never take the child's things without asking, as his reaction to the violation of external and internal boundaries will most likely be quite violent. Many parents mistakenly believe that the child cannot keep secrets from them, forgetting that they themselves would hardly like such interference. The child needs freedom so that he learns to make his own decisions and be responsible for them. But no less than freedom, he needs certain moral norms and boundaries so that he can build his own internal moral code.

2a. Subconscious expectation of danger:

Often, parents of babies with excessive manifestations of completely unmotivated aggressiveness turn to psychologists with requests for help.

In personal conversations with the parents of these children, certain facts common to all cases are clarified. Most often, the mother of the child during pregnancy did not feel sufficient security, was extremely worried and worried about herself and her unborn child. All these sensations were passed on to the child, and he was born with no basic confidence in the safety of the world. Therefore, he subconsciously waits for an attack all the time, sees a potential danger in everything and tries to protect himself from it as best he can and as best he can. Such a child is able to respond with aggression to an unexpected touch, even the most affectionate and coming from a person close to him.

Increased aggressiveness can be a cry for help, sometimes behind which there are genuine grief and a real tragedy. Sometimes a child's behavior is dictated by fear. We know from ourselves that a very frightened person in most cases thinks and acts inappropriately to the situation. When a child is frightened, he sometimes ceases to understand who is his friend and who is his enemy.

Now, when Nikitka is two and a half years old, he is horrified as soon as he sees that his mother is going to go somewhere, leaving him with his grandmother or with a nanny. Therefore, by all means available to him, he tries to keep her at home: he scatters toys, clings to his mother’s dress so that it cannot be pulled away, sobs hysterically, falls to the floor, beats, hitting him so that bruises remain on his arms and legs. The one who tries to pull him away from his mother, Nikita can bite. But the baby becomes even more aggressive when visiting the clinic: he does not allow the doctor to touch him, tries to knock the instruments out of his hands, fights, bites. At such moments, he can hit anyone who is nearby, even his mother. He is called a difficult aggressive child. But in fact, his behavior is driven by fear, or rather, a whole complex of fears. Nikita is afraid of being left without a mother, as it was in the first days of his life. He is afraid of doctors because he is afraid to experience pain.

So that aggressiveness does not develop into a character trait, Nikita needs "healing with love." Only thanks to the love, calmness and patience of his parents, Nikita will be able to overcome his fears, and he will no longer need aggressive protection.

2b. Self-doubt:

When parents are busy with themselves or finding out their own relationships, and the child is left to himself, he may experience uncertainty about his own safety. He begins to see danger even where there is none, becomes distrustful and suspicious. Family and home do not give him the necessary degree of protection and guarantee of stability. And the result is aggressiveness, manifested out of place and out of place, arising either from self-doubt, or from a sense of fear and expectation of an attack. The child psychologically shrinks into a ball and, dying from fear, is waiting for a “blow”. Is it any wonder that he fears the approaching hand? How does he know what her intention is - to stroke or hit? Moreover, he is always subconsciously tuned in to the bad. Such a child, in response to an innocent statement: "Today bad weather"answers with a challenge:" So what? .

2c. Personal negative experience:

An aggressive reaction may be associated with the personality characteristics of the child, his character and temperament, or be provoked by the facts of the child's personal experience.

Lesha is a boy from a complex family. The father drinks and periodically becomes violent. The mother is in annoyance and eternal fear. Both parents communicate with their son mainly through shouting and slapping. On the first day of your stay in junior group kindergarten Lyosha hit another child. It would seem completely unmotivated: he approached him with the best of intentions, and was just about to hug his new friend, when he suddenly received a strong blow. How was he to know that for Lesha a hand raised next to his face means a threat?

A similar story happened to Misha, a boy from a quite prosperous family, where, however, no one was engaged in assault, but they kept him, as they say, "in tight rein". At home, he only heard from all sides: “you can’t”, “don’t do it”, “not like that”. The constant complaints of his parents about his stupidity, and the expressed fears that "nothing good will come of him" did not give self-confidence. Misha was a developed child, and everything would have been fine if he had not been born in a family where his mother and grandfather were doctors of science, and his father and grandmother were candidates. All of them quite sincerely tried to bring up a "worthy successor to traditions" and therefore made excessive demands on the child. As a result, at home, the boy "walked along the line", but "to the fullest" "came off" in kindergarten: he contradicted adults, scattered and broke toys, fought.

2y. Emotional instability:

The source of aggressiveness in children 2-6 years old may be their emotional instability. Until the age of 7, many children are subject to fluctuations in emotions, which adults often call whims. The mood of the baby may change under the influence of fatigue or poor health. When manifestations of irritation or negative emotions by a child are considered unacceptable, and are suppressed in every possible way under the influence of the parenting style adopted in the family, the child's parents may encounter outbursts of anger that are not motivated, in their understanding. In this case, the child transfers his aggressiveness not to the "offender", but to everything that comes to hand. These can be objects and toys that he will throw and break. Or a plant from which he will break off the stem or tear off the leaves and flowers. Or a small kitten, which he kicks with impunity (if no one has seen). You can also take out resentment on the weaker: younger brother, sister, and even grandmother. The more rigid the rules of behavior established at home, the more aggressive the child's behavior outside the home (or within the walls of the house in the absence of adults authoritative for the child) can be.

2d. Self dissatisfaction:

Another reason for aggressiveness is dissatisfaction with oneself. Often this is not caused by objective reasons, but by the lack of emotional encouragement from parents, which leads to the fact that children do not learn to love themselves. For a child (as well as for an adult) it is vital that he be loved not for something, but simply for the very fact of existence - unmotivated. The most severe punishment does not cause such irreparable harm to the child as the lack of self-love and encouragement. If a child does not love himself, considers himself unworthy of love, then he does not love others. And therefore, his aggressive attitude towards the world on his part is quite logical.

2e. Increased irritability:

Such personality traits as increased irritability, a steady tendency to be offended even by seemingly neutral statements and actions of other people, can also be provocateurs of aggressiveness. A touchy and irritable child may pull a chair out from under another child who has accidentally taken a seat in which he wanted to sit. A manifestation of passive aggression can be considered a child's refusal to eat if "his" place was taken at the time when they sat down to eat. If, in the general turmoil and hustle and bustle of the children's group (for example, when all the children are dressing for a walk at the same time), someone pushes such a child, he may receive a violent blow in response. Children with a similar personality characteristic in all random incidents tend to see deliberate harm to themselves, and in all negative actions, including their own, they blame anyone and anything, but not themselves. Such a child is never to blame for anything. Anyone but him.

2g. Guilt:

Oddly enough, those children in whom conscience does not sleep can also show increased aggressiveness. Why? Because they feel guilty and ashamed of those who have been wronged or harmed. Since both of these feelings are rather unpleasant and do not bring joy, they are often redirected in adults to those for whom they feel these feelings. So is it any wonder if a child experiences anger and aggression towards the one he offended? An excessive guilt complex leads him into fear and depression, from where it is not far to suicide. To learn to cope with situations of guilt, to learn to take responsibility, he will need time and our help and support. And most importantly - our example. If children can see that we are able to adequately cope with such situations, then it will be easier for them to pass the hard lessons that life offers.

3a. Poor health, overwork:

Very often, an aggressive reaction is due to the current situation, or its background. If the child has had enough sleep, feels good, put on his favorite suit and got his favorite sausages for breakfast, he can react quite calmly to a provoking situation. And the next day, his behavior will be frankly aggressive. Kindergarten teachers know when and why this happens. Most often, children behave aggressively on days when they do not get enough sleep, feel bad, or are offended by something or someone.

3b. The influence of food:

Aggressiveness of the child may be due to nutrition. The relationship between an increase in anxiety, nervousness and aggressiveness and the use of chocolate has been proven. Abroad, studies are being conducted that study the relationship between the use of chips, hamburgers, sweet soda and increased aggressiveness. Numerous studies have proven the effect of cholesterol contained in the blood on a person's aggressiveness (including aggression itself). So, low cholesterol levels are noted in the blood of most suicides and those who have attempted suicide. Low level cholesterol leads to passive aggressiveness. So do not overly limit children's fat intake, everything is needed in moderation, and the body is often wiser than us.

3c. Influence of noise, vibration, tightness, air temperature:

If you think that your child is showing increased aggressiveness, pay attention to whether he was exposed to factors such as noise levels, vibration, tightness and heat air. It is no secret that "hot" conflicts most often arise in the heat. And this is not surprising, since the heat is stressful for our body, especially for northerners who are not accustomed to the heat. That is why we become especially irritable and excitable in the heat.

Crowding is another powerful provocateur of our aggressiveness. Who hasn't "fit in" into an unpleasant squabble on a crowded bus or subway? Crowding affects a child no less strongly than it affects us adults. It is desirable, therefore, that the child has his own room. If this is not possible, you need to give him his own corner in one of the rooms. The connection between the noise level in the house and aggressiveness is obvious. When we are working, concentrating on something, or talking on the phone, we want silence. And if at this time the children rattle their toys or make wild cries, like the Indians, then sooner or later we will be irritated, and we will first ask, and in case of disobedience, we will order them to calm down. Our children react in the same way to unwanted noise. Can they do their homework if the TV is on at full volume in the room, or the parents are sorting things out?

Children who live near busy freeways, who live in homes above subway tunnels, or in close proximity to railroad tracks, tend to have higher levels of aggression, according to studies.

4a. Type of temperament and character traits as possible causes of aggressiveness:

What is the temperament preparing for us?

A certain type of child's temperament can also predispose to aggressive behavior. Every person is born with one of the four types of temperament. Temperament determines the strength and speed of our reactions to life events, the degree of emotionality and nervous excitability of the individual. It is impossible to change temperament, but you can learn to use not only its strong, positive, but also weak, negative sides. Melancholics are the least prone to active aggression. Melancholics often have nervous breakdowns, they are constantly in a state of emotional stress, any little thing upsets them and unbalances them. For a melancholic child, any situation of competition and any innovation is stressful. Difficult games, especially long ones, tire them out and bring them to stress. They tire quickly and require breaks in activities. Such children have increased sensitivity, vulnerability and resentment, suffer from self-doubt, often cry. At the same time, the response to stress in a melancholic is withdrawal into oneself and one's experiences. The melancholic will prefer to retire and suffer in silence. The type of aggression possible for him is passive, when aggressiveness is directed not at others, but at himself, and therefore it is melancholics who are most prone to suicide.

Not prone to active aggression and phlegmatic. Their nervous system well balanced, and it is almost impossible to piss them off. The phlegmatic perceives even serious problems, remaining outwardly calm. He handles adversity well. The only thing that creates difficulties for him is the need to quickly respond to changing situations.

To achieve aggressive behavior from a phlegmatic, it is necessary to systematically bring him up, like Leopold's cat.

Then, at some point, the internal natural "outrageous" is triggered, and the phlegmatic responds with aggression to aggression. But this is an extremely rare case, almost on the verge of the impossible. Unlike melancholics, phlegmatic people are not prone to passive aggressiveness.

Sanguine by nature is not aggressive and most often prefers to solve problematic and even conflict situations in peace. He is cheerful and optimistic, very sociable. The sanguine child loves new faces and new places, he needs change. If a sanguine person is bored, he becomes lethargic and cannot concentrate on what is happening here and now. In a stressful situation, a sanguine person will defend himself actively, but deliberately. A typical sanguine person will first be convinced that a peaceful solution to the problem is ineffective, and only then will he resort to aggression. Aggressive behavior for him will be a conscious necessity. A sanguine person can "drive" a sense of guilt and responsibility for his own mistake into passive aggressiveness. Choleric people have a natural tendency to active aggression due to their extreme imbalance, both nervous and emotional. Cholerics are overly irritable, quick-tempered, they are very easy to get out of patience. Increased excitability and speed of responses lead to the fact that many choleric children tend to do first and only then think about how to act. If something fascinated them, they are extremely intense, but quickly get tired and cannot continue. Hence the frequent change of mood, sudden changes in interests, impatience and inability to wait. Nervous decline and general loss of strength leads to irritation, and therefore choleric people most often come into conflict and are most prone to nervous breakdowns.

4b. Character accent:

Accentuation is called individual character traits that stand out in a person above the average level. For example, a person with a pedantic personality accent will strive for excellence in any job, whether it's a government job or washing dishes after dinner. He will check several times before leaving, whether he turned off the electricity, whether he locked the front door with a lock, etc., etc. Accentuation is by no means a pathology. If a person experiences neuropsychic stress that affects this enhanced character trait, he becomes overly vulnerable. Modern research It has been proved that the greatest aggressiveness is inherent in children with cycloid, epileptoid and labile character accentuations. Let's decipher the terms:

- "lability" is the incredible speed of the flow of nervous processes, a tendency to frequent changes in emotions and impulsive actions;

- "cycloid" means a tendency to a sharp change in mood depending on the external situation;

- "epileptoid" implies insufficient controllability, pedantry and conflict, a tendency to "get stuck" in a situation.

A child with a labile accentuation of character will be in constant search for new experiences and will easily be influenced by others. He does not have his own independent view of things. He does not know how to think independently and even more so to plan actions. On the contrary, he tends to act under the influence of the moment, thoughtlessly and sometimes completely reckless. Such a child will prefer to obey rather than lead, he will never be the ringleader in games with peers. He is gullible and takes everything he is told at face value. If you note that your child is extremely trusting, prone to impulsive actions on the spur of the moment, easily influenced by any person nearby, incapable of evaluating his actions and giving out violent, but short and superficial emotional reactions, it is likely that he has a labile character accentuation. Such a child may show aggressiveness out of fear, succumbing to the influence of another person, or out of a desire not to stand out from his group, to be like everyone else. Epileptoid accentuation of character initially implies an extreme degree of irritability and an inability to restrain one's emotions in any way. In this case, we can no longer talk about aggressive manifestations, but about real aggression. Children with epileptoid accentuation of character from early childhood do not tolerate criticism in their address, intolerant of the opinions of others. They are absolutely sure that only they can be right. And therefore, any opinion that differs from one's own is met with hostility. They are incredibly quick-tempered, under the influence of anger they swear, shout loudly, squeal, spit, bite and fight. However, they have absolutely no control over their actions. In kindergarten and school they are characterized as impulsive and conflict children. They are difficult to manage because they do not obey the elders; under the influence of the impulse are prone to running away from home.

Cycloid accentuation of character is distinguished by a change of periods Have a good mood periods of sadness and depression. Either stormy joy, or no less stormy sadness, constant emotional swings - from one extreme to another. If your child is prone to sudden mood swings depending on the situation, or if his mood and state of mind often change for no apparent reason, he probably has a cycloid character accentuation. The behavior of the child in this case is unpredictable and often contradictory. At the same time, the child cannot achieve emotional balance in any way, which irritates him and predisposes him to manifestations of aggression.

5. Socio-biological reasons:

It is quite natural that boys are more likely to show active aggression than girls. According to the stereotypes prevailing in our society, which have become especially strong over the past ten or fifteen years, a man should be rude and aggressive, in general, "cool". Non-aggressive children at school are already perceived as a rarity. Parents have to set their children up to fight back, because otherwise they simply won’t be able to “fit” into a “male society”, in which one of the main values is the ability to stand up for oneself. Boys are often forced to be aggressive in order not to turn out to be "black sheep" and outcasts in a significant group for themselves, among classmates or friends in street games.

Increased aggressiveness can also be due to biological, sexual, psychological and social reasons. Often, children's aggressive reactions are due to the attitudes, prejudices and value systems of adults who are significant to them. For example, children from families in which the attitude towards people depends on their position on the hierarchical ladder, on a kind of "table of ranks", are able to restrain themselves when the teacher scolds them, but they are rude to the cleaner, cloakroom attendant or janitor. It's good when in the family financial well-being. But if family members measure everything by the amount of money, their children begin to disrespect everyone who earns little. This is manifested in defiant behavior at school, in a demonstrative disregard for teachers. Children, especially teenagers, tend to divide all people into "us" and "strangers". Unfortunately, this often leads to outright aggression against "aliens". In the West, there is such a phenomenon as teenage gangs. In our country, this phenomenon has not acquired such proportions, although once there were "battle fights" on a "yard to yard" scale, and now established companies can be at enmity with each other. Children, like a sponge, are saturated with everything that can be called "family attitudes". That is why the fact of aggressive behavior of children caused by racial prejudice or racial hostility is very disturbing.

The main causes of aggression in children have been sorted out.

Now we need to say a few words about how parents should behave if their children show aggressive behavior or to prevent such undesirable behavior.

And we, adults, should in no case suppress aggression in our children, since aggression is a necessary and natural feeling for a person. It is important to teach a child not to suppress, but to control his aggression, to defend his rights and interests, and to defend himself in a socially acceptable way, without infringing on the interests of other people and without harming them. I offer you the following advice from psychologists:

1. Parents need to show unconditional love for their child in any situation.

Statements like the following should not be allowed: “If you behave like this, then mom and dad will not love you anymore!” You can not insult the child, call him names. It is necessary to show dissatisfaction precisely with an action, an act, accepting the personality of the child as a whole.

2. If a child asks to play with him, pay attention to him, and you this moment if you can’t do this, don’t brush off the baby, especially don’t get annoyed with him for being annoying. Better show him that you understand his request and explain why you cannot fulfill it at the moment: “Do you want me to read a book to you? Baby, mommy loves you very much, but I'm so tired at work. Please play alone today.” And one more important point- no need to pay off the child with expensive toys, gifts, etc. For him, your direct attention is much more important and necessary.

3. Aggression in statements The problem of clogging our speech with “profanity” is currently being discussed everywhere. We are no longer shocked by TV shows, articles in newspapers and magazines, where abuse slips. Therefore, it is not at all surprising that our children learn very early about the existence of such words. What are our actions in these cases.

a) Explain to the children that people use swearing only as a last resort, when out of desperation they no longer have the strength and words.

b) Watch your own speech.

c) If the child asks about the meaning of a particular word, do not evade the answer. Try to explain to him the meaning of the word in such a way that he himself does not want to use it.

d) If the child caught you on a “bad” word, apologize to him, explain that you could not restrain yourself, and you did badly. From now on, try to control yourself.

Parents, if they do not want their children to be fighters and bullies, must themselves control their own aggressive impulses. We must always remember that children learn the techniques of social interaction, first of all, by observing the behavior of the people around them (primarily their parents).

As I already mentioned, in no case should a child’s manifestation of aggression be suppressed, otherwise suppressed aggressive impulses can cause serious harm to his health.

4. Teach him to express his hostile feelings in a socially acceptable way: in a word or in a drawing, in modeling or with toys, or in actions that are harmless to others, in sports.

Translating a child's feelings from action into words will allow him to know that they can be said about them, and not necessarily immediately given to the eye. Also, the child will gradually master the language of his feelings and it will be easier for him to tell you that he is offended, upset, angry, etc.

rather than trying to get your attention with their "terrible" behavior. The only thing that cannot be abused in this case is the confidence that an adult knows better what a small person is experiencing. An adult can only guess, based on his experience, on self-observation, on observation of others, what the child's behavior means. The child should be an active narrator about his inner world, an adult only sets such an opportunity and provides the means.

5. If the child is naughty, angry, screaming, throws himself at you with his fists - hug him, press him to you. Gradually he will calm down, come to his senses. Over time, it will take less and less time for him to calm down. In addition, such hugs serve several important functions: for a child, this means that you are able to withstand his aggression, and, therefore, his aggression can be restrained and he will not destroy what he loves. Later, when he calms down, you can talk to him about his feelings. You should not read moralizing in such a conversation, just make it clear that you are ready to listen to him when he feels bad

6. Respect the personality in your child, consider his opinion, take his feelings seriously. Give the child enough freedom and independence for which the child will be responsible. At the same time, show him that if necessary, if he asks himself, you are ready to give advice or help. A child should have his own territory, his own side of life, the entrance to which adults are allowed only with his consent. The opinion of some parents that "their children should not have any secrets from them" is considered erroneous. It is unacceptable to rummage through his things, read letters, eavesdrop on telephone conversations, spy! If a child trusts you, sees you as an older friend and comrade, he will tell you about everything himself, ask for advice if he deems it necessary.

7. Show your child the ultimate ineffectiveness of aggressive behavior. Explain to him that even if at first he achieves benefits for himself, for example, takes away a thing he likes from another child, then later none of the children will want to play with him, and he will be left alone. It is unlikely that such a prospect will seduce him. Tell us also about negative consequences aggressive behavior such as the inevitability of punishment, the return of evil, etc. If you see your child hit another, first approach his victim. Try to console, calm the offended child. Thus, you deprive your child of attention, transferring it to a friend. Suddenly your child notices that the fun is over and he is left alone. Usually you need to repeat this 2-3 times - and the fighter will understand that aggressiveness is not in his interests. It is necessary to establish social rules of behavior in a form accessible to the child. For example, “we don’t beat anyone, and nobody beats us.”

8. Remember to praise your child for diligence. When children respond appropriately, do what you can to reinforce those efforts. Tell them, "I like what you did." Children respond better to praise when they see that their parents are really pleased with them.

Don't say: " Good boy" or: " good girl". Children often do not pay attention to this. It is better to say: “You gave me great pleasure when you shared with your younger brother instead of fighting him. Now I know I can trust you to take care of him.” Such praise is of great importance for children. She makes them feel like they can make a good impression.

9. It is necessary to talk with a child about his act without witnesses (class, relatives, other children and adults). In a conversation, try to use fewer emotional words (ashamed, etc.).

10. It is necessary to try to exclude situations that provoke negative behavior of the child.

11. In the fight against aggression, you can resort to the help of fairy tale therapy. When Small child begins to show signs of aggressiveness, write a story with him in which this child will be the main character. Using pictures cut out from magazines or photographs of the child himself, create situations in which the child behaves with dignity and deserves praise. Talk to him at a time when the child is calm, not nervous. When a child has an emotional crisis, it is not easy to calm him down.

12. It is necessary to provide the child with an opportunity to get emotional release in the game, sports, etc. You can get a special “angry pillow” to relieve stress. If the child feels irritated, he can beat this pillow.

Together, based on the material presented, we will analyze several situations and come up with the best solutions:

The parent abruptly suppresses the child: “Stop it! Don't you dare do that!" Spanks and puts in a corner. The parent pretends not to notice the aggressive behavior of the child and the child continues to act aggressively. The parent “switches” the child to a game that helps to discharge negative emotions. After the child has calmed down, explains why it is wrong to behave this way. Let's discuss which version of an adult's reaction to a child's misbehavior would be the most optimal.

In the first case, despite the fact that the child has stopped his “criminal” actions at the moment, he will definitely throw out his negative emotions in another place or at another time. In the second case, the child decides that he is acting correctly and aggressive forms of behavior are fixed in a character trait. And only in the third case, the child learns to analyze various situations and takes an example from his tactful parents.

How can we as adults learn to manage our anger? I offer you several methods:

Stop words. When you feel that you are now reaching the boiling point, mentally tell yourself “STOP!”, It is even better to shout “STOOOOP!” You can use any word, as long as it stops you from reacting immediately.

After that, wait at least 10 seconds. During this time, you will be able to calm down even more and make a decision on the current situation.

Take a series of deep breaths. This will help restore breathing and the rhythm of the heart. “Blow off steam”, in simple terms.

Use humor. Present the object of irritation in a funny way (in funny clothes, caricature, etc.) This will cause a smile and immediately relieve feelings of anger.

I want to give you a reminder:

1. How to deal with an aggressive child:

The first step is to find all the pain points in the family.
Normalize family relationships.
Eliminate all aggressive forms of behavior among loved ones, remembering that the child, imitating, sees everything.
Accept him for who he is and love with all the flaws.
Something, requiring the child to take into account his capabilities, and not how you would like to see it.
Try to nip the conflict in the bud by directing the child's interest in a different direction.
Teach him how to communicate with peers.
When a child is pugnacious, the main thing is not to explain, but to prevent a blow.
Remember that even a word can hurt a child.
Understand the child.

2. How not to behave parents with an aggressive child:

Constantly tell him that he is bad.
Drive the child into a corner with inflexible educational measures, hardening him.
Use aggressive methods of education and punishment (spanking, angle, belt). Do not forget that aggressiveness is a consequence of hostility, and educational activities are not weapons of war.
Allowing a child to even purposely shoot adults with a toy gun.
Not to love him or to love only with “evaluative” love.
Summing up our conversation, we can make the following decision:
Observe the emotional state of your child in different settings.
Set up positive emotions.
Follow the rules of the family to overcome child aggression.
Discuss with family members the need for television programs for children to watch.
When discussing children's conflicts at home, teach the child to analyze his own behavior.
Electronic Services

Parent meeting “Aggressive children. Causes and consequences of child aggression "Parent meeting developed by the teacher primary school MOU "Popovskaya OOSh" Ryzhovoy N.A.

Grade 2 TOPIC: “Aggressive children. Causes and consequences of child aggression» QUESTIONS: 1. Conversation on the topic. Analytical reference based on a survey of children. 2. Memo for parents: "Golden" rules of education. 3. Results of the 2nd quarter 4. Plan of educational work for the 3rd quarter. 5. Report of the parent committee on the work done. 6. Miscellaneous 1. Conversation on the topic. Memo for parents: "Golden" rules of education. Students are pre-screened. (See appendix) Questions: 1. If you are punished, how? 2. If you are encouraged, how? 3. 4 "don'ts" that you would like to have in your family when you are being punished. There is a poster on the blackboard with the words: A person has the ability to love, and if he cannot find an application for his ability to love, he is able to hate, showing aggression and cruelty. He is guided by this means as an escape from his own mental pain... Erich Fromm Dear parents! The topic of our today's meeting is serious and difficult. This is the theme of the manifestation of cruelty and aggression by our children. Unfortunately, these phenomena live among us adults and among our children. Let's look at what aggression is and how we adults can help children overcome it. What is aggression? Aggression is behavior that harms an object or objects, a person or a group of people. Aggression can be manifested physically (hit) and verbally (violation of the rights of another person without physical intervention). In psychology, there are two types of aggression:  Instrumental

 And hostile. Instrumental aggression is manifested by a person to achieve a specific goal. It is very often expressed in younger children (I want to take away a toy, object, etc.). In older children, i.e., students in the lower grades, hostile aggression is more manifested, aimed at causing pain to a person. Very often, aggression, its manifestation, is confused with perseverance, assertiveness. Do you think these qualities are equivalent? Persistence versus aggressiveness does not allow insults, bullying, etc. The level of aggressiveness of children varies depending on the situation to a greater or lesser extent, but sometimes aggressiveness takes stable forms. The persistent aggressiveness of some children is manifested in the fact that they sometimes understand the behavior of others differently than others, interpreting it as hostile. Boys are more prone to aggression. It is included in the male stereotype, cultivated in the family and the media. (Remember what TV programs your child and your family watch.) A very common cause of child aggression is the family situation.  Aggressive behavior of family members in everyday life situations: shouting, swearing, rudeness, humiliation of each other, mutual reproaches and insults. Psychologists believe that a child shows aggression in everyday life several times more often where he saw the aggression of adults every day and it has become the norm of his life.  Inconsistency of parents in teaching children the rules and norms of behavior. Today it is convenient for parents to say one thing, and they impose this line of behavior on their children; tomorrow it is convenient for them to say another, and this other is again imposed on children. This leads to confusion, anger, aggression against parents and other people. In education, two pairs of important features can be distinguished that positively or negatively affect the formation of children's aggressiveness: disposition and rejection. What characterizes and how does location affect the overcoming of aggressiveness? The family helps the child: a) overcome difficulties, b) uses the ability to listen to the child in its arsenal, c) includes warmth, a kind word, an affectionate look in communication. Rejection, on the contrary, stimulates children's aggressiveness. It is characterized by indifference, withdrawal from communication, intolerance and dominance, hostility to the fact of the child's existence.

Encouragement is of great importance in the upbringing of children: by word, look, gesture, action. Punishment is also very significant for a person if: a) it immediately follows the misconduct, b) it is explained to the child, c) it is severe, but not cruel, d) it evaluates the actions of the child, and not his human qualities. Punishing the child, the father and mother show patience, calmness and endurance. (ANALYTICAL REVIEW BASED ON THE QUESTIONNAIRE OF CHILDREN) After analyzing the questionnaires of children, I came to the conclusion that they punish: they scold ... people. they beat with a belt forbid something they put in a corner they talk they don’t punish they encourage: with money gifts with the word 4 “DO NOT” that you would like to have in your family when you are punished: (Frequently repeated “DO NOT” are listed) Golden "rules of education. Our meeting is coming to an end. I would like it to be useful for you, cause reflection, a desire to build relationships in your family in a new way. And according to tradition, each of you receives the "golden" rules of education related to this topic of the meeting. "GOLDEN" RULES OF EDUCATION (See appendix)  Learn to listen and hear your child.  Try to make sure that only you relieve his emotional stress.  Do not forbid children to express negative emotions.  Know how to accept and love him for who he is.  Obedience, obedience and diligence will be where they are presented reasonably.  Aggressiveness of the family leads to aggressive manifestations in the behavior of the child.

3. Results of the 2nd quarter  Introduce the students' parents to the achievement cards in the subjects for the 2nd quarter.  Distribute sheets “Results of progress in subjects” to parents; Finished quarter: Mathematics: Sv lvl V.ur – Av. – N.ur. – In Russian: Ov ur V.ur – Av.ur. – N.ur. - 4. Plan of educational work for the 3rd quarter. 5. Report of the parent committee on the work done. 6. Miscellaneous. 1) 2) 3)

APPENDIX "GOLDEN" RULES OF EDUCATION  Learn to listen and hear your child.  Try to make sure that only you relieve his emotional stress.  Do not forbid children to express negative emotions.  Know how to accept and love him for who he is.  Obedience, obedience and diligence will be where they are presented reasonably.  Aggressiveness of the family leads to aggressive manifestations in the behavior of the child. "GOLDEN" RULES OF EDUCATION  Learn to listen and hear your child.  Try to make sure that only you relieve his emotional stress.  Do not forbid children to express negative emotions.  Know how to accept and love him for who he is.  Obedience, obedience and diligence will be where they are presented reasonably.  Aggressiveness of the family leads to aggressive manifestations in the behavior of the child.  Learn to listen and hear your child. "GOLDEN" RULES OF EDUCATION

 Try to make sure that only you relieve his emotional stress.  Do not forbid children to express negative emotions.  Know how to accept and love him for who he is.  Obedience, obedience and diligence will be where they are presented reasonably.  Aggressiveness of the family leads to aggressive manifestations in the behavior of the child. F.I. STUDENT QUESTIONNAIRE Questions 1. If you are punished, how? Answers ______________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ 2. If you are encouraged, how? ______________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ 3. Four "don'ts" that you would like to have in your family when you are being punished. _ ________________________________________________________ _ ____________________________________________________________ _ ______________________________________________________ _ ______________________________________________________ _ ______________________________________________________ _ ______________________________________________________ _ ____________________________________________________________ _

F.I. STUDENT QUESTIONNAIRE Questions 1. If you are punished, how? Answers ______________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ 2. If you are encouraged, how? ______________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ 3. Four "don'ts" that you would like to have in your family when you are being punished. _ ________________________________________________________ _ ____________________________________________________________ _ ______________________________________________________ _ ______________________________________________________ _ ______________________________________________________ _ ______________________________________________________ _ ____________________________________________________________ _

Parent meeting

"Children's Aggression"

Primary school teacher, MOU "Secondary School No. 8", g.o. Saransk Klyomina Tatyana Semyonovna

Meeting goals:

1 . Discuss with parents the causes of child aggression, its impact on the child's behavior.

2. To form in parents a culture of understanding the problem of child aggression and ways to overcome it.

Members: class teacher, parents of children in the class, school psychologist.

Organization of a parent meeting:

preparation of invitations for parents;

questioning;

meeting scenario development;

preparation of a memo for parents;

2 slide Man has the ability to love

and if he cannot find a use for his

ability to love, he is able to hate,

showing aggression and cruelty. By this means

he is guided as an escape from his own

heartache....

Erich Fromm

Dear moms and dads. The topic of our new meeting is serious and difficult. This is the theme of the manifestation of cruelty and aggression by our children.

The age of manifestation of aggression is clearly younger. Aggression is shown not only by teenagers and adults, but also by kids. What is it connected with?

How to deal with the manifestation of child aggression? And how we adults can help children overcome it. We will try to answer these and other questions.

Slide

Aggression is behavior that causes harm to an object or objects, a person or a group of people.

4 slide

In psychology, there are two types of aggression: instrumental and hostile.

Instrumental aggression - manifested by a person to achieve a specific goal. It is very often expressed in young children (I want to take away a toy, object). in our children, hostile aggression is more manifested, aimed at hurting a person.

Very often aggression is confused with perseverance, assertiveness.

The persistent aggressiveness of some children is manifested in the fact that they sometimes understand the behavior of others differently than others, interpreting it as hostile.

Slide

A common cause of child aggression is the family situation.

This leads to confusion, anger, aggression against parents and other people.

6 slide

In education, two pairs of important features can be distinguished that positively or negatively affect the formation of children's aggressiveness: disposition and rejection.

What characterizes and how it affects the overcoming of aggressiveness location? The family helps the child:

overcome difficulties

uses in its arsenal the ability to listen to a child

includes warmth, a kind word, an affectionate look in communication.

Rejection on the contrary, it stimulates children's aggression. It is characterized by indifference, withdrawal from communication, intolerance and dominance, hostility to the fact of the child's existence. Rejection of the child leads to the manifestation of such a disease as children's hospitalism. What it is? Loneliness, lack of desire to communicate with relatives, lack of traditions, customs, laws in the family.

7 slide

Demanding in relation to the child must be reasonable.

The only difference is that an accommodating child will express his protest in a hidden way, and a child who is not very accommodating will express it openly. Requirements for younger students are best expressed in a fun way.

If this succeeds for a long time, and then a ban is imposed, then, as a rule, the result is a manifestation of aggressiveness on the part of the child.

8 slide

In recent years, psychologists have considered separately such a cause of child aggression as the media. The child begins to be influenced by television programs, movies, detective stories filled with various manifestations of aggression. For all school years, children spend almost 15,000 hours watching TV. During this time, they see an average of about 13 thousand cases of violent death. Psychologists have found that children who have seen many acts of violence on TV are more prone to aggressive actions than children who have not seen them. Computer games also contribute to this. By committing virtual acts of violence in them, the child ceases to see the line between play and reality. In preparation for the parent-teacher meeting, we conducted a study of children's attitudes to television programs. I invite you to take a look at the results.

conclusion

One and the same child can get along well in one group and not at all take root in another. Or this year he may feel good in the team, but not the next, because five old comrades have left the class and new children have come to replace them. But this does not mean that this child suddenly became neurotic. Only the situation has changed. Perhaps an aggressive child is experiencing serious problems at home.

Our meeting is coming to an end. I really want it to be useful for you, made you think.

9 slide

Here are some tips:

Learn to listen to your children.

Try to do so that only you, the parents, relieve their emotional stress.

Do not forbid children to express negative emotions.

Learn to accept and love them for who they are.

(Reminders for parents)

Dear dads and moms!

Aggressiveness of the child is manifested if,

the child is beaten;

the child is being bullied;

they play a cruel joke on a child;

the child is forced to feel a sense of undeserved shame;

parents knowingly lie;

parents drink and fight;

parents raise a child with double morals;

parents do not know how to love their children equally;

parents do not trust the child;

parents set the child against each other;

parents do not communicate with their child;

the entrance to the house is closed to the child's friends;

parents show petty guardianship and care to the child;

parents live their lives, the child feels that he is not loved.

Reminders for parents

"GOLD"

parenting rules

Learn to listen and hear your child.

Try to make sure that only you relieve his emotional stress.

Do not forbid children to express negative emotions.

Learn to accept and love him for who he is.

Obedience, obedience and diligence will be where they are presented reasonably.

The aggression of the family leads to aggressive manifestations in the behavior of the child.

How to prevent child aggression

1. Do not give your child unfulfilled promises, do not instill unrealizable hopes in his soul.

3. Do not put any conditions on the child.

4. Be tactful in the manifestation of measures to influence the child.

5. Don't punish your child for what you allow yourself to do.

6. Do not change your requirements in relation to the child for the sake of something.

7. Don't blackmail your child with your relationship with each other.

9. Don't put your relationship with own child depending on his academic achievement.

VII. Meeting decision.

Observe the emotional state of your child in different settings.

Set up positive emotions.

Follow the rules of the family to overcome child aggression.

Parent meeting on the topic: "CHILDREN'S AGGRESSIVENESS"

Do not anger the children: who wants to beat,

as a child, he will want to kill,

when it grows up.

P. Buast

Who can not take caress, he will not take and severity

AL. Chekhov

Children's aggressiveness, what is it, how does it manifest itself?

(Sayings of parents with a ball)

Childish aggressiveness is an uncivilized release of energy reserves in order to get a discharge.

Aggressive behavior is manifested when a child screams, fights, bites, kicks, takes away toys, stamps his feet, swings at adults, squeals, scolds, tears books, etc.

What does this behavior mean, where does it come from?

Children's aggressiveness is one of the significant topics of pedagogy. Children's aggressiveness is an absolutely normal and even necessary manifestation of a child's behavior, which is expressed in violation of the rules established by adults, and is accompanied by a loud protest. Children react differently to our prohibitions And prescriptions. Some are calm, while others react with behavior that we perceive as aggressive.

Life - and this is completely objective - is full of disappointments, and disappointments cause protest and rage. And if it is not possible to develop any strategy for overcoming these feelings, then the repressed aggressive drives find a neurotic way out from psychosomatic diseases (gastric ulcer, liver disease, etc.) to obvious mental disorders.

Practical researchers have proven that criminals or authoritarian historical figures (for example, Stalin, Hitler) were not in childhood aggressive children, on the contrary, they were mostly humiliated and depressed children. Humiliation is the seed from which crime will grow in the future. A person humiliated to the ground saves his balance only by humiliating others. Every person is naturally given an aggressive energy. However, people use it in different ways. Some - to create, and such energy is called constructive. Others - to destroy or destroy, their energy is destructive.

I suggest you play the game "What is this energy?"

The teacher throws the ball and says, for example: anger, stubbornness, self-defense, etc. The parent returns the ball back and names the type of energy that corresponds to this type of aggression.(To help the educator for the game: Constructive aggression- this is: activity, striving for achievements, protecting oneself and others, gaining freedom and independence, protecting one's own dignity.Destructive aggression- these are: violence, cruelty, hatred, malevolence, malice, Pickiness, anger, irritation, stubbornness.)

To measure one's strength, to conquer a peak, a turbulent river, space, to solve a scientific problem - this is a useful, kind, direction of energy necessary for progress.

To what extent is aggression normal for a preschooler?

(Statements of parents).

In a certain period of childhood (2-4 years), children tend to
aggressiveness, as children's life is full of disappointments,
caused by deprivations and restrictions that become
traumatic for the child.

So, already at an early age, the child is characterized by aggressiveness. With his crying, the baby expresses anger and indignation and demands the satisfaction of his own physiological needs.

The child does not become aggressive unexpectedly. He cannot be a good boy or a good girl and immediately start screaming and fighting with his peers. This process happens gradually. Up to a certain point, the child expresses his needs in a milder form, but adults do not pay attention to this until they encounter obvious violations of behavior that is perceived as aggressive or antisocial. In reality, this is a desperate attempt to satisfy needs, restore emotional state or social ties. It's just that the child is currently unable to express his feelings in a different way, so he is fighting for survival in the world around him.

Aggression may occur:

As a last resort when the child has no other options
to meet your needs. Like an exit overflowing
energy child (the child needs to run, jump, but they don’t give him. He
starts kicking the ball, in his absence - his neighbor).
As "learned" behavior, when a child behaves aggressively, following a model (parents, cartoon character, etc.).
Aggressiveness and conflict as a result of the selfishness of a child who is accustomed to attention at home and requires it in children's team. All means are used, including aggression - conflicts, quarrels, fights. The main thing is to be the center of attention.
Aggression - as a form of protection from feelings of anxiety, insecurity, depression, stress.

Such children run away from the strong, but get into a fight with the weak. The defense of the little aggressor lies in the attack, this gives him confidence. It is difficult for such a bully to make friends with other children - they try to stay away from him, avoid him.

5. Aggression - in response to emotional hunger, emotional dissatisfaction of the child. , insulting swearing.

In such a situation, it is necessary to examine the child and help a specialist.

In kindergarten, we are obliged to prohibit the manifestation of open aggressiveness, as we are responsible for the safety of children. The type of expression of aggressiveness depends on age. If a two-year-old child bites, this is one thing, and if a six-year-old child, then this is a rather alarming signal. What is alarming is not the fact that the child is angry and irritated, but the way in which he expresses his anger, i.e. in a way that is typical for two-year-old children.

This means that one should distinguish between a reaction to experiences and the correspondence of the form of this reaction to a certain age.

It is necessary to teach your child to communicate without conflict with other children.

Yes, we are obliged to establish rules and prohibitions and not be indignant at the same time that children protest against them and try to fight them. This is normal if everything happens within certain limits, because we do not want to see a completely submissive child.

Anger can flare up when you are criticized, when something is demanded or forbidden from you. The manifestation of aggressive drives in children is quite normal;

If the child is angry, and the reason is your prohibition, then do not condemn him for this. Leave the ban in place, but at the same time sympathize, console him, if possible, offer some kind of compromise.

For adults, it is important to understand that in a state of anger and irritation it is impossible to "resolve" any conflict situations with children.

There are three types of aggression:

Physical aggression (attack) - the use of physical force against another person.
Verbal (verbal) aggression.
indirect aggression.

PHYSICAL AGGRESSIONmanifests itself in children quite often and immediately attracts the attention of adults. A child who has only been lightly hit begins to scream like a cut man, whimpering, begging for consolation. The "offender" has the ability to lie a little. Both are bad. In such a situation, it is necessary to separate the children from each other in different directions and begin to understand what happened only after the children calm down. At the same time, you need to calm the "offended", hug him, stroke his head and say: "Do not be upset, he did not want to hurt you." It is necessary to talk with the "offender" not so much in a "swearing" manner as constructively: there is a problem, it needs to be solved. The child needs to establish a rule: “You can’t beat. If you’re angry, if you want to hit, step aside. You can tell an adult about it,” that is, we must teach the child to recognize his feelings, recognize them, express them with words, not with fists. Be sure to praise your child whenever he manages to resolve the conflict without resorting to aggression.

Do you think it is necessary to respond to aggression with aggression?

(Sayings of parents)

It is bad when adults respond to aggression with aggressiveness. First of all, they themselves encourage Children to new aggression, and the child perceives the replicas "Go and give change" as a guide to action - go and hit.

However, if a child constantly quarrels with peers, it is necessary, together with a psychologist, to study the reasons for such excessively aggressive behavior and develop a certain tactic of behavior with a preschooler.

VERBAL (VERBAL) AGGRESSION- this is an expression of negative feelings not only through forms (quarrel, scream, squeal), but also through the content of verbal responses (threat, curses, swearing).

Almost all children sooner or later begin to use swear words in speech, shout insults, tease comrades or swear. However, this is not a cause for concern.

Children tend to listen to what adults say, who often do not notice how they behave. Some parents themselves teach the child certain expressions. The child learns separate words from playmates. And the fact that these words shock adults is a good reason for the child to repeat them again. And when they want to annoy their parents, they discover a new weapon of aggression.

It also happens that a child pronounces a word without knowing its meaning. How should we proceed in this case?(Sayings of parents)

The most correct would be to say that this is a bad word and should not be used.

The child will be disappointed in swearing if he does not see desired result. Sometimes it is necessary to reprimand a child if he knows that this is a swear word: a sharp disapproving "Enough" works better than a long moralizing. It is also better not to draw the attention of others to foul language and not to provide it with the attention of the audience.

Children, like you and me, need to express emotions. Therefore, it is good to offer them words, alternative scolding, which can be pronounced with feeling in a fit of anger. For example, "fir-trees-sticks" or some teasers.

If hurtful words directed at adults, you should not pay attention to them and take them to heart. It is simply necessary to ignore the child who insults people. Sometimes you need to firmly say: "I like you, but what you say I don't like."

Often behind verbal aggression lies a desire to feel strong and significant.

An early desire for swear words can also speak of more serious psychological problems a little man who "takes revenge" for all his misfortunes with slander and lies. Our task is to make sure that children do not have the desire to swear. We cannot protect them from swear words, but it is our task to influence Them.

Mark with a "+" those statements that will help to influence the removal of verbal aggression and swear words in a child:

Do not scold the child, do not threaten him, even if he says
swear words.
Make sure he is honest with you.
Discourage the child when he utters swear words. Affectionate treatment will immediately remove children's aggressiveness.
To draw everyone's attention to the child's abusive remark "You listen to what he says!"
Briefly, without punishing, explain to him that it is indecent to speak swear words, just like picking your nose.
If in the presence of strangers the child dropped a swear word, you must apologize for it and immediately change the topic of conversation.
Read a moral to him for a long time.

INDIRECT AGGRESSION- this is such aggression, which is directed in a roundabout way to another person - this is malicious gossip, jokes; as well as aggression, manifested in screaming, stamping their feet, beating the table with their fists, etc.

The mechanism of indirect aggression is connected with the phenomenon of "transfer". For example, a mother does not give a child a candy, he immediately throws a toy on which he “transfers” his anger and aggression. At the same time, it should be remembered that then children suffer for a long time from their act. They have a sense of guilt, as well as a fear of losing the love and care of their parents. Which in turn can lead to aggression. Arises vicious circle, and the child's aggressiveness is directed to other objects.

Have you experienced a similar situation in your family?(Statements of parents).

Yes, in some children aggression takes the form of a destructive attitude towards things: they tear books, break toys,
breaking dishes, throwing things at people, etc.

Children's anger or discontent, which manifests itself in destructiveness, can subsequently result in a great drama. It is important for adults to remain calm and not respond with anger to anger. It is necessary to find out the reason for this behavior of the child, given his emotional fuse:

Either the child, tired of the prohibitions of the parents, beats his doll because he is not able to do the same with his parents.
Whether the reason lies in dependence, behind which is the desire to assert itself (the child is envious, angry at a friend who can build a tower, and calms himself by destroying it).
Or he would rather break the toy than give it to another child. (I don’t want to share with anyone: it’s mine or no one’s.)

How should one behave in this situation with a child?(Sayings of parents)

Pick up strong and strong toys that are hard to break.
Offer collapsible toys for games with which the child can satisfy his curiosity.
Do not give new toys.
Do not immediately remove a broken toy so that they are clearly
the consequences of a pogrom perpetrated by a child are visible.

We should not completely exclude aggressiveness from the nature of children, our task is to limit and control it, at the same time to encourage those manifestations of it that do not harm the individual and society.

What can an adult do to alleviate a child's aggressive experiences?(Sayings of parents)

It should be remembered that in an aggressive state a person suffers and worries, so you can transfer anger to some object that you will not cause damage (The child hit the table - the table is to blame.) Psychologists advise using a punching bag - then the rage quickly disappears.

It is necessary to remember about the ritual of reconciliation, which brings purification.

It is important to judge the conflict itself, not the child. Punishment should not hurt, should not humiliate the child.

Prevention of aggression.

It is impossible to prevent the emergence of aggressiveness, but it can be overcome. A good method is a conversation about aggressiveness, when the child can talk about his feelings, when he finds the right words for them and gains power over them. When he sees that he is understood and not condemned for his feelings.

"How do you feel today?" - Here the best remedy to overcome the effects. And if the child is anxious, speaking out feelings in itself helps to mitigate the aggressive energy. Giving feelings a name is a kind of "psychotherapeutic" work. You can remove aggressive energy by drawing a picture of anger, subsequently destroying it, thereby removing some of the conflicts that could arise in the future.

We must develop in children the ability to discuss their own feelings and character traits, repressing aggressive feelings.

Take a big part in the life of the child, allowing him to feel loved and desired.

The more the child is self-confident, the less often he will experience anger, envy, the less egoism will remain in him.

parent meeting decision

Support the work of the kindergarten on the prevention of child aggression.
Do not rush to intervene in children's disassembly and quarrels. Give children the opportunity to figure it out on their own, let them learn to communicate with each other.
Don't blame another child while protecting your own. Offer to understand why the conflict arose.
Do not discuss aggressive behavior in front of the child. The label of a fighter and a bully can become a guide to action - to resolve conflicts by force.

REMINDER FOR PARENTS ON PREVENTION

CHILD AGGRESSION

(To the parent meeting: "Children's aggressiveness")

Do it in such a way as to save the child from experiences, stress, conflicts, anxiety and self-doubt in the family.
Be an example of behavior for a child: do not allow outbursts of anger, do not speak badly about people, do not plan revenge with him.
Discuss with your child possible options his behaviour.
Let him say when he was wrong and why the quarrel arose
or a fight.

4. Do not forget to regret once again, Caress and praise the child.

A child should grow up with the confidence that he is loved, that he is the dearest, that in a difficult moment of his life he can come to you for help and support.
Offer your child games and exercises to relieve tension, emotional relaxation, to expand the behavioral repertoire:

"Balloon". - You are a balloon. Here you are angry, more and more (inflate the balloon). There is more and more anger, you are already filled with it all - that's how this balloon is, just as inflated. What will happen? A little more anger, and the balloon will burst (demonstrate to the child how the balloon will burst). And if you carefully release the air, then it will remain intact, it will not burst.
"Kicking". - The kid, lying on the carpet, kicks like a foal, like a big horse.
Jump like a grasshopper, goatling, lion, kangaroo, raindrops.
Sit like a butterfly on a flower, a grandmother in a chair, a mother hen on a nest, a flower in a flower bed.
Walk like a bear in the forest, a cunning fox, a kitten, a turtle...
Swim like gold fish, an angry shark, a huge whale, a toothy crocodile...

Fly like snowflakes, swan geese, Baba Yaga on a broomstick, a small sparrow, a big eagle, a light cloud, a bee over flowers.

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