Dad is in the delivery room. Getting ready for partnerships
Joint births have become commonplace these days. But they are not suitable for all families. Let's try to figure out the advantages and disadvantages of the presence of a husband at childbirth.
Advantages of the presence of a husband at childbirth
It's huge for future mother. Such a “rear” helps her cope with fears and unbearable pain. The girl has the right attitude during childbirth: she believes that everything will go smoothly and painlessly, she is waiting for THEIR baby to appear with joy, and not with horror.
Being present at childbirth, the husband can not only provide moral support, but also provide real help: monitor the breathing of the expectant mother, contractions, call the medical staff if necessary, control the manipulations performed by specialists with his wife.
Expert opinion
Elena Pakhar, chief physician of the women's health clinic in Domodedovo, obstetrician-gynecologist-endocrinologist, reproductologist: In our maternity hospitals, any person with whom the patient wants to give birth can be present at childbirth. Most often this is a husband, mother of a pregnant woman, less often - a psychologist, a friend. The so-called partner childbirth is powerful, it is more concentrated on childbirth, calm. The period of labor together is easier to bear, especially if the husband is prepared and provides real pain relief. the husband may be present at the birth if the family wishes. The opportunity to take a child in his arms immediately after birth awakens strong and reverent feelings in fathers. If the future dad is not in the mood to attend the birth, there is nothing terrible about it. In any case, the decision on joint childbirth should be taken carefully and calmly.
Parents' opinion: Maria and Konstanty Trofimov, parents of two children
Wife's opinion: I believe that the presence of a husband at childbirth is a huge moral support for a future mother, because the husband is a very close person, and in difficult moments of life, we, fragile and tender, really need attention and love! The presence of my husband during childbirth helped me a lot not to be afraid of anything, I felt his strength, held his hand, and the pain went away from this, and strength arrived. In addition, even just being a husband in the delivery room subconsciously somehow “disciplines” the doctor and the rest of the staff. In general, if anyone is going to give birth, go to this important event hand in hand from the beginning to the very end!
Husband's opinion: I consider my presence at the birth right decision in our family life, because the birth of a child is our common cause. I immediately agreed to my wife's offer to attend the birth and did not regret it at all! What could be more touching than seeing the grateful eyes of my wife holding my hand during the most difficult moments of childbirth. But I have not yet said about the most pleasant moment: I was lucky to see our daughter first, immediately hold her in my arms, take a picture. These moments will forever remain in my memory! In conclusion, I want to give advice to future dads: do not be afraid of anything and be sure to support your soulmate during childbirth!
Being present at the birth, the future dad does not just observe, but takes part in this process. Having experienced this, a man experiences a feeling of deep gratitude and respect for his beloved. Relationships between spouses reach a new level of intimacy and trust.
For many men, the presence of childbirth awakens the paternal instinct. The baby is born in front of his father, he hears his first cry, sees how he is examined, bathed, swaddled ... The ability to cut the umbilical cord himself is of great importance for a man. A strong spiritual bond is established between the newborn and his dad.
Parents' opinion: Dmitry Bogodyazh, dad, who was present at the birth
Husband's opinion: after being present at the birth, I realized that men do not know anything about pain! I decided to go because this happens once in a lifetime. I wanted to see the miracle of birth myself. Who, if not a husband, should help his wife during childbirth, support? In the end, when terrible contractions began, I was asked to leave, because my presence weakened my wife.
Disadvantages of the presence of a husband at childbirth
Before making a decision on joint childbirth, their disadvantages should be assessed.
Despite the fact that the birth of a child is always a miracle, this process is by no means aesthetic. Imagination draws future parents beautiful picture with a rosy-cheeked baby and a smiling mother. In reality, the process of childbirth is accompanied by many not very pleasant moments (and a large number of blood - not the most unpleasant of them).
The expectant mother may begin to be ashamed of her appearance, the process of childbirth, thereby delaying them. There may be anger at the husband, rejection of his presence at the birth.
Not every man is ready to endure such a test. Blood, the torment of his beloved wife, his own excitement and fuss - all this can ruin the relationship between partners. Often, husbands, being present at childbirth, faint and themselves need medical care. After joint childbirth, partners sometimes cannot for a long time, and sometimes they just finish family life divorce.
Many girls forget about their torment, already when they put the baby on their chest. And for a man who was present at the birth, this can be a trauma for life.
Parents' opinion: Valentina Kiryanova, mother, opponent of joint childbirth
Wife's opinion: My pregnancy was not going very well, and when it came time to give birth, my husband was very worried and wanted to be present at the birth to support me. But I was against it and dissuaded him in every possible way. And thank God!!! The birth was not difficult, but I'm afraid if loving husband saw what was happening to me, he could not stand it. Our men must be protected! Let him take the finished “product” from the hospital, rejoice and help me already at home - this is much more important.
Is it worth having a baby together?
Before resolving the issue of joint childbirth, we must make sure that the desire to be together at this hour is voluntary. Many girls want their husband to be present during childbirth. Often they succumb to fashion trends or stories of girlfriends. It seems to them that after this, dad will love his baby more strongly. Many husbands, having seen beautiful scenes in the cinema, agree with their wives and experience a real shock, being present at a joint birth.
I asked a question to the daddies on the forum:
Dear dads! Please tell us about your impressions of the presence of your babies at the birth. Is it worth it to drag your husband to childbirth? Is there anyone who regretted going there? We, future mothers and fathers, this information will be extremely useful. Thank you!
1. Oh, well, how many times have I already told about childbirth with my wife. But at the "request of the working people" I will repeat my story. I went, I didn’t faint, I think that I was useful. I cut the umbilical cord (I am modestly proud of this). There was no trance. The next child, if any, we will go again to give birth together. All my close friends (5 people) gave birth with their wives. Everyone has strong families, no one got divorced. They (friends) like to talk in the male circle about how "they" gave birth. In a word - who was cooler. And the first moments of a baby in this world are incomparable impressions. I'm glad I didn't miss it. In conclusion, I note that in many nations, women have long given birth with men. Finns, for example, gave birth on their husband's lap. Well, where is there to run for a midwife if you live on a remote farm and work from dawn to dusk. Well, nothing, gave birth. So this is not a new invention, but a tradition rooted for centuries. Keshin dad
2. Advice from a dad who gave birth with his wife - The impressions are very different, the hardest thing is to watch when a loved one has contractions, and when the process itself is already underway - it’s easier, it seems that the light is already visible at the end of the tunnel :) In principle, my wife said that I helped her a lot. For example, I don’t remember how I was driving home after giving birth. So it's up to you ... Personally, I would advise 3 times to think about the decision to give birth together.
3. Impressions are strong. But we did not give birth in a maternity hospital, but at home with a midwife, so my participation was necessary and very active. :) He worked as a nurse, husband, support in every sense, a massager, a stool, a hanger (for his wife, not for clothes) ... full program, but on the other hand, we all (especially the wife) received a lot from this. :) And to be present... If you don't know what to do and how to help, stand helplessly and watch what the doctors are doing? IMNO nafig-nafig, it's better to do something useful at home. Here it is necessary to put the question differently - if the wife needs it, and you are ready to support her, and even more so you know how and with what - then of course yes ... Ivan Ionov
4. Ruslan:“I already have two children, and I was not at the birth. I would not want to be present and see all the details. Otherwise, I will treat my wife differently and will not touch her again. And what excites me there will be in a slightly different form.
5. They gave birth together. At first, I didn’t feel much enthusiasm from the thought that we would go together, rather the opposite. IN better side the situation was changed by excerpts from the forum that Galya read to me - first of all, that my presence will force doctors to be extremely attentive and do everything in a modern and proper way, and that she would like this from the point of view that "it will be very hard and scary for her if there are only strangers around." And in the second, oddly enough, one more passage “that it is not necessary to insist on the presence, and that it should be decided by the husband.” After that, I finally calmed down and made a decision that I absolutely do not regret. Moreover, I can’t even imagine that I could practically leave my wife alone at a difficult moment for her (and this can probably be called that if the wife wants her husband’s presence). Although, probably, it is also necessary to proceed from the nerves of men, fear of blood, etc. (they say there are those who are afraid. In general, I will summarize - if your wife wants your presence, and you have enough nerves for this - go together.
6. It all depends on how strong the husband's psyche is and what kind of relationship you have. I can tell you about my experience. I was with my wife at the birth, almost from beginning to end. At the sight of needles, scissors, blood, etc. I don't shudder, I don't faint. The worst thing for me is pain native person, then that nothing can be helped ... If I had waited in the corridor, I would have gone crazy from the unknown. And so - still nearby, even though he pressed the call button, held by the shoulders, gauze cold water I ran to wet, tried to help in any way I could. All this is trifles, of course, but what to do, men are not given to give birth. I am glad that I was at the birth, that I immediately took Danya in my arms - I could hardly hold back my tears. And relationships are much more affected by everyday life, the housing issue, etc. To be present or not to be present at the birth of a husband should be decided by two - you and your husband. No violence, imposition, maximum openness - this way you will avoid possible "cons".
7. They also dissuaded me, they said that they say you won’t see anything good there, and psychological problems may arise. I did not agree with all the advisers and was present at the birth, helped, which I do not regret at all. Nothing there, scary, dirty, and the like. Everything is quite natural and normal. None psychological problems not at all. He began to treat his wife even better. So, if you really want to, then why not.
Pregnancy is a wonderful period in the life of every woman, which is remembered for a lifetime. But most expectant mothers are so frightened by the stories of childbirth that they cannot fully relax and enjoy all the delights of their condition. Many girls talk about the process of having a baby as something very scary and painful. This is intimidating and misleading for pregnant women. What is partner childbirth, and what does a husband need to know about them? The desire to have a loved one by your side increases with the approach of a significant date.
In contact with
The presence of a husband in the delivery room has become very popular today. This is not the case when the spouse accepts in emergency cases, when there is no way to get the help of specialists. This is a conscious step when the faithful are allowed to go where he can support the woman in labor. It is popular abroad and is spreading more and more often in our country every day. Countless loving fathers are so looking forward to the birth of their future baby that they do not want to miss a single second.
Partner childbirth is, of course, a psychologically difficult and rather expensive process that requires strong moral and financial preparation.
Can my spouse be present at the birth of a child?
Naturally, every loving father has the right to see the process of the birth of his child. Such cardinal changes in medicine as partner childbirth occurred about 8 years ago thanks to the influence of WHO. Many maternity hospitals today have special equipped wards, which is very convenient.
A large number of men on the eve of the birth of a child think about whether they should be in childbirth. Naturally, on the one hand, a partner can support and facilitate the well-being of a woman, which is simply necessary for her. But each wife can perceive her spouse in her own way during childbirth: one will worry and be ashamed of everything that happens, he can only annoy the other, but the third just needs the help of her beloved.
In general, it is possible for the father of the child to be present at the birth, but is it worth it? Whether the situation gets easier or worse depends only on the couple.
List of tests to be taken by a partner
In order for a man to be allowed to be present at the birth, they undergo an examination. Each maternity hospital has its own list of tests. Often, in most cases, only fluorography is checked. A sample list of tests for partner births for absence:
- syphilis;
- hepatitis C, B;
- AIDS;
- staphylococcus.
The exact partner needs to be clarified at the maternity hospital where the woman plans to give birth.
It is also worth finding out what else you need to take your spouse from the things that you may need.
How much do partnerships cost?
This is quite an expensive pleasure. And how much does the presence of a husband at childbirth cost is an individual matter. Each maternity hospital has its own price for this procedure, but on average it ranges from 30-40 thousand rubles. If you also want a personal doctor, then it will cost you about 100 thousand rubles. On the whole, it's pretty high prices, but the result and the support you get in return is much more expensive. After all, at this critical time of life is born into the world new person who can put the whole world at his feet.
Reviews of men
Husbands often leave positive feedback about joint childbirth, as a sign of pride in the moments experienced:
Oleg
Oh, I still remember those incredible feelings. I am very glad that I shared this amazing event with my wife. That feeling when you hold your little son in your arms is impossible to put into words. For a long time I decided to be next to you during childbirth. My wife was in favor one day, worried the next. In general, we have been solving this issue for quite a long time. But I didn't regret my decision. I still love my wife, even more. Seeing what she endured for the sake of the three of us, caused me admiration and respect for her as a person. I'm proud to be present at the birth own child. And then, not every time you can see how a new life is born. It is very interesting.
Maksim
For a very long time I did not want to be present at the birth. My wife persuaded me because she needed my support, and I am very afraid of hospitals, doctors and blood. So for me it was a quiet horror. Indeed, what caused me pleasant emotions that day was my child, who cried and asked for food. In principle, I am glad that I was present at the birth of my son and held my beloved. We really needed it.
Sergey
Of course, I understand that emotions and so on, but my wife simply hated me all childbirth. Screamed at me. Of course, I understood that this is not an easy process, but not so much. I won't say I'm sorry. After all, I somehow supported her. I am glad that I saw how my beloved daughter Alinka was born. I recommend men to be around at birth, as the attitude towards the wife and child becomes completely different, it changes for the better. Although it was psychologically difficult to endure, but we did it.
Back in 2010 on the Internet resource Newslandthere was news thatit is harmful for men to be present at childbirth, although before that in many countries the topic was widely discussed whether a man should be present at birth. News on Newslandcame about after a major study by Dr. Jonathan Eve of the Center for Biomedical Ethics at the University of Birminghamwith the participation of colleagues.
The results of the study unambiguously confirm that many men who decide to be present at the birth of their own children may well receive quite serious damage to their health, including psychological trauma of varying intensity. Unfortunately, the psychological traumas received in the delivery room in some cases prevent men from fulfilling the duties of fathers in the future.
And although a negative result does not happen in all cases, it is possible, therefore, Dr. Jonathan Eveconsiders modern opinions about the need for the husband’s participation in the process of childbirth to be rather erroneous, since after being present at childbirth, many men can no longer fully fulfill the role of a father in the future. In addition, Dr. Jonathan Evecame to the conclusion that if men were active during the entire period of pregnancy, then during childbirth they can only provide passive support and therefore remain very disappointed.
In the delivery room, a father is not given such a significant role, so a man can lose the feeling of his need, his need and his strength, so it is quite difficult for such men to switch back to an active state, that is, to active fatherhood, and avoid problems in communicating with the child.
The results of the study show that about ten percent of men who took part in the birth of their wife experienced postpartum depression, which sometimes proceeded quite severely and was observed for quite a long time. That is why Dr. Jonathan Evewants the invitation of the father of the child to the birth to be more balanced, because the participation of some men in the birth is not only unreasonable, but also dangerous. And it is very important that the public, which in Lately she was very interested in partner childbirth, agreed that not every man has a place in the delivery room, even if the most beloved wife in the world gives birth to the most long-awaited heir.
Now under the direction of Dr. Jonathana ivand studies are being conducted to find out for which men the presence of a wife in the delivery room during childbirth is completely contraindicated.
Should my husband give birth?
The presence of the father of the child at the birth has now become very popular and causes active discussion in society. But the opinions of specialists, including psychoanalysts and psychologists, are completely ambiguous. As for obstetrician-gynecologists who take birth, any (or any) of them will tell many cases when strong men simply lost consciousness or simply could not find a place for themselves and behaved completely inappropriately, interfering with the medical team and even the woman in labor.
Although there are other cases when young fathers, who have nothing to do with medicine, turned out to be very handy and actually brought considerable help, especially to the giving birth wife. It turns out that today there are no uniform recommendations regarding the presence of the father at childbirth, and in each individual case, the decision should be made separately.
It must be said that the concept of "attending childbirth" is understood by many in completely different ways. For example, for some, it is to take the spouse to the hospital and spend the first stage of childbirth nearby, to help them survive the contractions. For others, it means staying through the pushing and the birth of the baby.
If we turn to history, it is easy to find out that the birth was most often taken by the midwife, and there were practically no men at birth. But in those rare cases when a man nevertheless watched the birth of a child, his place at the very moment of birth was behind the woman, at her head, so that she could lean on him and take a comfortable position during childbirth. Thus, if a man already got into childbirth (and this happened extremely infrequently), then he was behind his wife and looked in the same direction with her. And this is precisely what this means that the man did not see childbirth as such, but was only in the most direct sense a support for a woman going through a difficult moment.
Attention! The person who should be taken with you to childbirth should be active, but in moderation so that he does not distract attention to himself; should be caring and attentive, but not overstepping the bounds of reason; should be able to subtly feel the woman in labor, but at the same time not be sentimental. Such a person may not necessarily be a husband, but it is quite possible for a mother, sister or friend to participate in childbirth.
Psychologists who studied the participation of husbands in childbirth, note that men quite often show high anxiety, fear, confusion, however, according to psychologists, this is not an indicator of weakness, but the resistance of the situation at an unconscious level - as a kind of reminder of their own birth and their own birth injury: according to statistical data, about 70 % of children are born with various kinds It is the boys who are, and that is why men are much more dependent on birth programs. As for girls, they have a kind of natural protection, since they have yet to give birth themselves.
Why is the presence of the husband at the birth can be useful?
It is very important to remember that childbirth is a rather lengthy process, and sometimes very long, and that is why medical workers cannot constantly and every second be near a woman giving birth. But after all, for a woman in labor during this period, constant attention, the presence of loved one who you can rely on and count on. For a woman during childbirth, especially in their first period, psychological support is very important, which the spouse may well provide, unless, of course, he is psychologically and morally ready to attend childbirth and does not experience negative emotions, including fear and anxiety.
Psychologists say that the presence of a father at birth when your baby is born is a very strong emotion and a very strong experience. However, the same psychologists warn that the strongest emotions that a man experienced during childbirth can become both a creative beginning and a depressive factor - it all depends on what feelings and sensations prevail in a particular man: and this can be, for example, a feeling of helplessness and even despair, or feelings of a winner, creator, discoverer.
However, doctors repeat over and over again that attending childbirth is not entertainment, so a man must be prepared for some difficult and possibly unpleasant moments. But if a man present at the birth feels that he is not coping with the situation, then he can always leave the delivery room into the corridor to rest and recover.
As in the old days, if the spouse has already decided to be present at the birth, then his place is at the head of his wife, where he can wipe off the perspiration that appears, say something, observe her reaction. A man should not change his location in the delivery room, because the birth is taken by a doctor and an obstetrician.
If the spouse is still not completely confident in his abilities, then he is not at all obliged to be in the delivery room at all stages of childbirth, and even more so, he is not obliged to cut the umbilical cord with his own hands. At any moment, the husband can leave the delivery room to recover and get used to the surging emotions and impressions.
What real help can be provided by a spouse who is present at the birth?
Many obstetricians note that the command that the husband repeats after the midwife is perceived faster and easier, since it is easier for a woman to respond to a familiar voice, so the commands of the midwife, which the husband repeats while standing at the head, are performed faster and more accurately.
Doctors note that childbirth is a long process, so not a single woman will be inseparably next to the woman in labor. medical worker. But the husband will sit next to his wife, who has already begun serious contractions, that is, the most serious generic activity. It is the spouse who is nearby who can give a gentle massage to reduce pain, and, if necessary, give water, and help change the position to a more comfortable one, and will be able to talk, distract conversation from contractions, and will be able to cheer up.
There are times when during childbirth it is necessary to make some serious decisions, but after all, there is practically no one to ask in the delivery room - again, a husband nearby will be very helpful.
Attention! The results of many years of observation and research show that those men who were present at the birth of their children will soon form the instinct of fatherhood.
The parental instinct in men differs significantly from the parental instinct in women, because a woman carried a baby in her womb for nine months; the woman experienced a hormonal restructuring of the whole organism, which is aimed at a successful pregnancy, and at a safe birth, and at feeding the newborn. Unlike a woman, a man mainly solves everyday and material issues and does not take a direct part in bearing and in the birth of a child.
Attention! If a man goes to childbirth without the necessary preliminary preparation and only in order to satisfy his curiosity, then such a presence at childbirth is more likely to bring harm rather than benefit.
Joint childbirth is a very complex event, and it is very important to properly plan for the possible presence of the husband at the birth. Psychologists say that only those couples in which there are really very a good relationship based on mutual love and mutual trust.
AND family psychologists, and psychotherapists, and gynecologists, and obstetricians unanimously declare that you should not go to the hospital for a joint birth just because friends or relatives did it, or because it seems to have become fashionable. In fact, every married couple is very special and is not like any other, so any decisions, and even more so, such important ones as partner birth, should be made only in this family. The birth of a baby is not only a joyful event, but also a very difficult period that will change everything around, including relationships and habits.
Therefore, joint childbirth should only be a common decision, because only in this way can it bring real benefits to both young parents and the new person who has just been born.
When is joint birth appropriate?
The idea of being able to attend the birth of a spouse most often arises not only long before the first contractions, but also long before the third trimester of pregnancy. How to understand that this particular couple can safely go to the maternity hospital and to the delivery room together?
It is very important that there is no division in the family into “yours” and “mine”, into “shameful” and “not ashamed”. In a word, if illness and poor health cause only condolences and a desire to help, and not irritation and disgust, if the spouse is not afraid to appear in front of her beloved in an unattractive way, then such a couple may well meet the birth of their baby together.
An equally important indicator is whether the spouses share their experiences, worries, fears, whether they have secrets that are hidden from each other. And if secrets, and fears, and joys are always shared by two, then, of course, joint birth will become another joint experience and a great and beautiful joint secret.
Of course, a couple who goes to give birth together should not have taboo topics, there should not be a taboo to discuss anything. And if the husband and wife are completely open to each other, then the experience of joint childbirth is likely to be quite successful.
Of course, a spouse who knows no panic and panic moods, who knows how to act clearly and competently even in the most critical situations, will help a lot during childbirth. Of course, God forbid that such situations happen, but still ...
One of highlights- can the spouse wait quietly and not demand or not attract attention to himself. In the delivery room, the spouse will be assigned a far from the main role, so his maximum chance is the best supporting role.
Interesting! Partner births gained popularity about ten years ago due to exposure to World Organization Health.
When can joint birth be contraindicated?
It is known that childbirth is a very complex process, both psychologically and physiologically. And if the spouse is not able to completely relax in the presence of her husband, then you should simply accept her decision.
Very often, women who are used to solving everything on their own, without any prompting and without any help, refuse partner childbirth. In this case, it is better for a woman not to interfere.
Now let's move on to men and try to understand in which cases joint births may not work out due to male characteristics.
There is not the slightest doubt that in the delivery room there is absolutely nothing to do for a spouse who is too emotional and does not know how to control his emotions, who is able to panic and does not know how to control his actions in critical situations.
Doctors quite rightly believe that a young father should not appear in the delivery room if he is completely unrestrained, impatient and does not know how to wait.
You should not go with your wife to childbirth and those husbands who believe that this will be their benefit performance - in fact, the husband in the delivery room does not shine at all with the main roles, at most - a dancer, and then on tiptoe.
Unfortunately, some husbands remain infantile creatures who are not able to make decisions and take responsibility for themselves - the delivery room is not the best place for character training. So let him wait at home - everything will be calmer.
Another “not worth it” is if the spouses do not want and do not like to share their impressions, experiences, emotions. We will not evaluate the prospects of this marriage, but going to the birth together is a completely unnecessary and probably a failed undertaking.
Attention! The spouse who is present at the birth must be friendly, self-possessed, non-conflict, organized. If this is an emotionally unstable person prone to conflicts, then it is better for him to stay at home.
conclusions
They say that the Earth is standing and is perfectly kept on whales or turtles, and even on elephants. But in fact, the Earth rests on women who give birth to children, regardless of any sorrows, troubles and disasters. Wars, epidemics, floods, revolutions - whatever it may be, but women continue their lives and give birth to new thinkers and new warriors, new poets and new builders. How to help a mother in labor? Maybe hold the hand and say something necessary and important, maybe just not interfere ...
Ask the one who tomorrow will bring to the world new life, and if she entrusts you with this secret, stay close, touch the greatest mystery of the birth of a new life. But if you're not ready, just step aside to joyfully greet a very ordinary feat that every woman repeats from generation to generation - the feat of continuing life on our blue and green planet called Earth.
By the way, women themselves are also afraid of awkward moments. They want to feel freer, not be ashamed of anything, not to be distracted by anything, to listen to the doctor and the midwife. It’s another matter when it’s all over: if the father is nearby, he will immediately see the child, he will be able to hug him, take him in his arms ... Many dads agree to cut the umbilical cord, we have a whole ritual. And then you should see a man: he washed his hands, put on gloves, stands, does not breathe, worries ... All this is very touching and leaves no one indifferent. Men, for their part, also often talk about the difference in perception - it is one thing to see a child on the third or fourth day, and another immediately after birth. To be honest, few could keep from crying! And I often hear them talking on the phone - it seems that with the whole world. From the side it seems that they themselves gave birth, and not their wives. “Well, congratulations, we just gave birth…”; “Yes, I was, yes, I gave birth, yes, I saw everything ...” They are overwhelmed with joy and pride.
You can also be present in the operating room. Now there are so many different materials that cover, cover, fence off, those present will never see what they don’t need: C-section- this is great medicine, not for ordinary people ... But now the child was born, he was put on the changing table, the midwife is taking care of him, we invite the father to come in, take the child to the children's department, that is, to become the first who took the newborn in his arms!
I can’t say that relatives in childbirth have ever interfered with me. On the contrary, they help: they see everything themselves, they understand everything, in emergency situations they help a woman make a decision. Openness generally removes questions and eliminates distrust, allows you to experience any situation. And it is important for men - to control the situation. Of course, it can be both scary and difficult for them - to be around and not be able to help in any way. Some even lose their temper. But this is normal, there is no need to be afraid or ashamed of this. ”
Nadezhda Kupriyashina, psychologist:
“Ten years ago, the presence of a father at childbirth looked exotic. Men were worried and worried, experienced fears and doubts - “do I need this, how much it is a man’s business” ... Now it seems to have been decided that it is necessary to be present, even necessary, this is not a tribute to fashion, but a normal step, because a child is born in a couple, in a family. But the old question remained - I will come to the birth, I will see all this, and ... what will happen next? I believe that there are contraindications for partner childbirth. I would recommend thinking about whether to go, in a situation where the couple went through a serious crisis shortly before the birth (and there was neither time nor opportunity to deal with it). During pregnancy, such things happen not so rarely. Often in such a situation, partners perceive childbirth as a kind of cleansing event, catharsis - now we will give birth to a child, after which all negativity will be overcome. This is wrong. Childbirth has magic power. They reinforce all the good that has been accumulated in the relationship, but also reinforce the negative that was in the pair. The second contraindication: a man has a fear of medical institutions, manipulations, doctors, operations, for example, due to negative experience received in childhood.
Lyudmila Fokina, doctor of ultrasound diagnostics:
“It is good if during pregnancy a man has the opportunity to visit a doctor with his wife or go to ultrasonography, go to childbirth with his wife. In this case, he receives first-hand information, and this reduces anxiety. On the other hand, one must understand that the male psyche is not very ready for what happens to a woman during pregnancy and childbirth. Future dads are simply not adapted by nature to these realities. But some mothers believe that absolutely all the information should be conveyed to the husband, not paying attention to the fact that his emotions are going through the roof. This, of course, is overkill. There should be involvement, but the father's role, in my opinion, is to provide comfort in the family, psychological and material, and not to be aware of all the subtleties of the pregnancy process. If dad is not ready, do not torture him, otherwise the effect will be the opposite - he will start to get nervous. Perhaps women do this in order to awaken instincts in him, but in a normal man they will wake up on their own. In any case, I would not judge what kind of father he would be, only by the fact that he was inseparably there for all nine months. Everything is much thinner. When a woman comes to my appointment and says that her husband cannot come because of work, I always answer that it’s good, dad should work, and so that he knows everything, we will send him a photo, shoot a movie for him. Dad should have no time, I think so.
Childbirth is divided into two stages: the preparatory period and the birth of the child itself. The first stage can last several hours (and even days): contractions (uterine contractions) prepare the birth canal for childbirth. Being close to your wife during childbirth means helping her to go through contractions, pain and fear, supporting, comforting, speaking kind words, giving massage, helping her breathe properly ... The very birth of a child - attempts - lasts much less (from several minutes to half an hour) and does not require the presence of anyone else, except for a midwife and doctors. Men (and women) are usually afraid of this stage. But, we repeat, the presence of the father or other relatives during the birth of a child is usually minimized.
