What is the difference between "late children. Pros and cons of late babies - everyone has their own opinion What is negative

so, for information, although not indisputably :)

Childbirth after 40 years
An aged woman is pregnant. This could be for a variety of reasons. Our grandmother, for example, married late, so she gave birth to her mother - her only child - at thirty-six. Mom got married quite early, but ten years of war and devastation lay between me and my sister. One of our friends just couldn't do it for a long time. Until thirty-four, she was treated, at thirty-five she gave birth to a daughter, and at forty - twins: a boy and a girl. My close girlfriend gave birth to a son to her second husband, when the daughter from her first marriage was already finishing school ...

In general, there are thousands of reasons why a woman gives birth later than doctors usually recommend. In the West, this can already be called a pronounced trend: women have their first child closer to forty simply because they want to solve all the other problems first: get an education, make a career, achieve a good financial position, acquire their own home, check the correctness of their choice and the strength of the union .

Many today simply do not want to depend on a man. Not only financially: they don’t want to wait at all: marries - doesn’t marry, they don’t want to give birth from someone they managed to “catch”.

Today, often a woman makes a career more successful. Having achieved material independence, she can decide for herself who to give birth to, whether a husband is needed for this or not - all this also affects general position affairs.

It makes sense to say that the amazing advances in medicine today allow even postmenopausal women to have children. And if doctors in the consultation and the maternity hospital call women older than thirty-four "old mothers", then what can we say about a pregnant woman in her sixties?

In a word, in countries where women work on an equal footing with men, build their own destiny and make a career, the number of "old mothers" is steadily increasing. And this is a good enough reason to take a closer look at the problem.

Late kids are no worse than others

Let's start with the positive. No one has yet proven that late children are in poorer health than the children of younger mothers.

Such an opinion really existed before - and it had good reasons. In those days, when women gave birth as much as God gave, the last children were often in poorer health, since the resources of the mother's body were exhausted as a result frequent pregnancies, childbirth and breastfeeding. But if a woman at thirty-six is ​​carrying her first child (and does not smoke and leads healthy lifestyle life) - there is no reason for this child to be born weak and frail. At least all such children, personally known to me, are quite healthy. And thanks to the exemplary care and diligence of their more "adult" mothers, the children give the impression of being extremely prosperous and flourishing.

On the other hand, there is a strong opinion that later children are smarter and more talented. We do not have statistics, so it is impossible to either confirm or refute the prevailing opinion. It is possible that the matter is not at all in natural talents. With late, long-awaited, precious ones, they can simply mess around more, create them Better conditions for development. But today it has already been proven that it is upbringing that plays a decisive role.

Finally, thanks to the development of medicine, diagnostics, and childbirth techniques, late pregnancies and childbirth have become much less risky than they used to be. So women who, for one reason or another, arranged their fate later than others, can most likely count on healthy offspring. May God grant them in their turn to know the happiness of motherhood.

more favorable and less auspicious time

On the other hand, today, when the control of conception has become such a simple matter, the birth of a child is often pushed back to deadlines. It is known after all that children are always at the wrong time. Either earnings do not allow, then the apartment is small, then there is not enough for a car ... If earlier a healthy couple normally had a baby in the first year of family life, today many are in no hurry with this. Yes, and myself family life often has the character of a protracted experiment.

It will be useful for such couples to familiarize themselves with other information. So, it is known that hormonal changes in a woman - the first signs of a decrease in fertility (fertility) - appear on average at 26 years old. That is, best time for the birth of children today, as well as a hundred years ago: 18-28 years for a woman and 20-30 years for a man. No matter how medicine develops, our body changes little. He has his own laws. And the best doctors at all times recommended listening to these laws, taking them into account and focusing on them when making important decisions.

Smoking, malnutrition, a difficult environmental situation also leave an imprint on a woman's health. And often their influence is much more serious and dangerous than the actual age-related changes. However, these influences are in a sense related to age: after all, if a woman, say, smokes from the age of 23, and has her first child after 30, then her “experience” as a smoker has already managed to cause quite serious damage to her vessels, lungs and body in in general. Even if during pregnancy she quits smoking (and this is an absolutely necessary condition), then it is already impossible to completely correct the situation.

We present here some other data relevant to our topic.

It's good to know that...

With age, the condition of the uterus usually worsens, including in nulliparous women.

First: the difficulties associated directly with conception. More precisely, with the introduction of a fertilized egg into the inner surface of the uterus and its fixation there.

That is, every year the very likelihood of conception and pregnancy decreases. As a result, those who have delayed too long may have to spend significantly more time trying to conceive a baby ... or making sure that without medical help this is no longer possible.

Second, the risk of miscarriage increases with age. This is due to the state of the uterus, and the accumulation of chromosomal defects.

Late miscarriages more often associated with the health of the mother. Their cause may be the development of "diabetes in pregnancy" or hypertension. If the fetus in the process of development finds itself in an unfavorable environment, this can also put internal mechanisms in front of a difficult choice.

Tests during pregnancy

There are many genetic disorders, the frequency of which is in no way related to the age of the mother or father. But the risk of some other anomalies clearly increases with age. These include, in particular, Down syndrome. That is why doctors recommend that pregnant women over 35 be sure to be tested for the presence of such abnormalities.

The following table shows that the risk gradually increases every year, doubling between 35 and 38 years and ten times between 38 and 48. If at 35 years old there is one case of Down syndrome for every 335 conceptions, then at 48 years old - one for every 15.

* Ultrasound. Carried out between 11-13 weeks of pregnancy, an ultrasound scan allows you to determine the amount of fluid under the skin of the fetus (on the back of the neck). The low accuracy of this test makes it impossible to make a conclusion about the presence or absence of chromosomal defects. But the test allows you to decide on the appropriateness of further checks. If something alerted the doctor, he, as a rule, sends the pregnant woman for more serious research.

Ultrasound at a period of about 18-20 weeks allows you to detect visible anomalies in the development of the fetus, such as incorrect formation of the skull or spine.

* Blood test for AFP (alpha-fetoprotein). This double or triple test is usually done around 15-18 weeks of pregnancy. It allows you to calculate your individual risk of developing anomalies like Down syndrome. This test does not affect the child himself and does not allow you to confirm or deny the presence of anomalies in him. But if, according to its results, it turns out that the risk in this specific case high, the doctor may refer the pregnant woman for more accurate (but also less safe) examinations.

* Invasive tests - in other words, those associated with penetration into the uterus and taking some samples for analysis are carried out only according to indications.

Starting at 11 weeks, placenta samples can be taken. They are taken either through the wall of the uterus or through the cervix. Both options cannot be considered 100% safe, as they slightly (slightly) increase the risk of miscarriage.

Preliminary results of the analysis can be ready in 24 hours, final results in 7-10 days.

Starting at 16-18 weeks, another test can be performed - taking a sample of amniotic fluid (what the fetus floats in inside the uterus). An analysis of this fluid allows you to determine the presence of defects in the fetus that are characteristic of Down syndrome. It will take 3-4 weeks to get the final results, but these results are considered quite reliable.

Carrying a child is your most important business

The following notes apply to all pregnant women, but are especially important for those over 35:

* Don't act like you don't care. Pregnancy is a very serious matter, it should subjugate the rest of your life. Limit your stress at work and at home. Accept any help that is offered to you.

* During your lunch break and after returning home from work, the first thing to do is to sit down so that your legs are raised higher. At a minimum, place them on the seat of a chair the same height as yours. If it is possible to recline in a comfortable chair with your legs up, use it.

* Limit your entertainment, going to visit and so on - it's better to go to bed early. This is especially important if you have to work every morning.

* Switch to loose clothing as early as possible. Even if the belly is not yet visible, it is very important that tight clothing does not interfere with blood circulation. Give up high heels - for pregnant women it is not only harmful, but also dangerous.

* Stockings or tights, on the contrary, should be denser, tighter - it is better to buy special supportive ones at the pharmacy. In some women, varicose veins first make themselves felt during pregnancy, in others it progresses noticeably at this time. If your feet are no longer in best form- the more they need care and attention.

* Even if until now you have been frivolous about your diet - now everything must change. Your baby should get everything he needs. Talk to your doctor about whether you need to take additional vitamins, mineral supplements, iron supplements. Try to make up the majority of your diet natural products that have not undergone industrial processing.

Doctors often proceed from the fact that since the mother is "aged" - it means that natural childbirth is unlikely. And they immediately tune in themselves and set the woman up to the need caesarean section.

Meanwhile, a healthy woman over 35 has a good chance of giving birth without any surgical intervention. We must not forget that this is not indifferent to the child: children prefer to be born the way nature has appointed them. For the woman in labor herself, natural childbirth is also preferable: a woman recovers faster after them, she is less likely to have problems with breastfeeding.

It is better if a pregnant woman will still tune in to natural childbirth and prepare for them. That is, to lead an active life, engage in special gymnastics, master all the techniques that help to give birth competently.

Many middle-aged primiparas choose to give birth in water and join the appropriate groups precisely because they take the moral and physical preparation of pregnant women very seriously. This does not mean that a woman will certainly give birth at home or on the seashore: she can go through all the preparation, and then go to the hospital, especially if the doctor suggests complications.

Regardless of age, contractions are usually significantly longer in primiparas. It is believed that attempts in older women take longer. Although with me, for example, an elderly woman gave birth, who gave birth to her first child at the age of forty in two hours. At that time she was already forty-two and she gave birth to the second. I had to go down to the maternity room one floor below. She passed the first flight herself, the second one was already lowered on a stretcher - and they barely had time to bring it in ... So there are exceptions to the rules.

We add that, according to statistics, with age, it is more common multiple pregnancy(twins, triplets ...), breech presentation and other "uncomfortable" positions of the fetus are more often noted, prematurity or overmaturity is more often observed.

On the other hand, the chances of an old mother to feed a child herself are the same as those of a young one. You just need to set yourself such a goal - and not deviate from it.

Reproductive capacity and age

Individual fertility (ability to bear children) is determined by heredity, as well as the influence of various environmental factors. With age, the ability to conceive decreases. It may take a year or more for a woman over 35 to conceive. If within a year a couple who wants to have a child does not conceive, they need to be examined.

Approximately 35% of problems with conception are associated with male fertility, the same - with women. In 20% of infertile couples, both partners have problems. In other cases, experts fail to find the cause.

The older the couple, the more energetic measures the husband and wife should take, as their reproductive capacity decreases every year. Finding out the causes of infertility will take some time. It may also take years to heal. If it does not give results, it will take more time to select an effective high-tech method with which the couple can still have a child.

It must be borne in mind that the effectiveness of modern methods also decreases with the age of a woman. If time is lost, even the best clinic in the world and big money do not guarantee success.

Increased risk of serious fetal chromosomal abnormalities with a woman's age

Age 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 48

Risk 1:335 1:270 1:215 1:165 1:130 1:100 1:75 1:60 1:45 1:35 1:25 1:15

Tips for late parents

Now many young people are in no hurry to start a family and children. If twenty-five years ago, by the end of the institute, most of the students became mothers, now they first want to “take a walk”, then “how to get settled in life”, “become professional” ... And when a woman finally matures to the desire to have a child, she often finds herself already over thirty, or even closer to forty.

It would seem, live and rejoice. A late baby is almost always welcome. All conditions are created for him, the best is given to him. Mom no longer wants to run away from the baby to the theater or to her girlfriend in the evening, she bathes in motherhood. Even the pronoun “I” disappears from her lexicon, being replaced by the pronoun “we”: “We are already holding our heads well ... we are tormented by gaziki in the evenings ... we have to get vaccinated tomorrow ...”

However, child psychiatrists are highly critical. “Late children are a risk group,” says Professor Kozlovskaya. - They are very vulnerable and physical plane, and in the mental, and especially in the psychosocial. Late pregnancy is often difficult, with fetal hypoxia, with cord entanglement. A woman usually cannot give birth on her own, she is given a caesarean section. And if she still gives birth on her own, these are difficult births. All this, of course, affects the health of babies. Late children are more prone to all sorts of disorders: endocrine, allergic, psychosomatic. In the first year of life, they are almost completely painful.

Your grandmother is here!

"I hated kindergarten- recalls nineteen-year-old Nina. - But not because I had to sleep there during the day or because I was offended there. No, I had more fun in the garden with the children than at home. But every evening I longingly waited for the guys to cry: “Nina, your grandmother came for you!” I did not dare to tell them that this is not a grandmother, but a mother. I was afraid of ridicule, and every time it was a serious injury for me ... "

But it's still half the trouble. After all, you never know what injections of self-esteem children have to endure! Some are traumatized by their fullness, others by the need to wear glasses with glued glass to correct strabismus, others by clumsiness, and fourth by poor school performance. All of us have faced ridicule and fear in childhood.

Here, something else is more dangerous: the fact that the “late” mother is not only physically, but also psychologically closer not to her mother, but to her grandmother.

Youth is characterized by recklessness. When I remember how my husband and I were driving along the Caucasian serpentine in forty-degree heat, and our two-year-old son was sleeping in the back seat of a car, having washed himself, I feel terrible. But we, overwhelmed by the excitement of youth, seemed invulnerable to ourselves. A few years later, having become a little wiser and settled down, I already treated my little daughter in a completely different way, much more carefully. And having given birth to a third child at the age of thirty-four, in general, up to two years, I tried to transport him as little as possible even around Moscow, because I was afraid of infections and noticed that the baby was nervous about the noise of traffic, the abundance of new faces ...

With a late child, it is very difficult to avoid the so-called overprotection. Especially if he is the only one who has suffered through suffering, and even does not have enviable health. And overprotection breeds infantilism and children's fears. As a result, the already unstable psyche of the child is shaken even more. The world seems to him aggressive, full of dangers. Such an attitude prevents children from communicating normally, and serves as a breeding ground for the development of neuroses. In adolescence, when pride and the desire to assert oneself come to the fore, this often turns into a desperate rebellion. “He broke off the chain, did not want to listen to anything, went into all serious trouble” - these are the typical complaints of confused parents who do not understand what happened to their recently so dependent child.

Where can I find a playmate?

Young parents still have a lot of children in themselves. On the one hand, this is a minus, since adults sometimes stand on the same level as a child. Dad plays board games with his son as with an adult partner and does not want to give in to any, mom is seriously offended by her daughter as a girlfriend. But on the other hand, it is usually easier for them to play with a child, and to run, and jump, and fight. They have not yet forgotten themselves in childhood, and they don’t stab in the side, their heart doesn’t grab.

Late children also find themselves in a disadvantageous position here. They often have no one to play with, no one to mess around with.

Most of them are “non-Sadovsky” for health reasons, and the children of their parents’ friends are much older and are not suitable for friends. It is easier for a mother to read a book to a child than to roll cars on the floor for hours. She is more willing (and this is quite understandable!) to teach him English words than to crawl under the table, depicting a hare hiding in a mink from a fox. Therefore, in the upbringing of late children, the tilt in the intellectual direction is so noticeable. Most often they grow up early, are judicious beyond their years. But they combine intellectual maturity with social immaturity. And “underplaying” in childhood is fraught with an unexpected outburst of infantilism and an unsatisfied thirst for play at an age when, in fact, it’s time to start living not for fun, but in earnest.

From anxiety to irritability

At the age of five or six, almost all children begin to think about death. But parents are usually not very worried, because they are still young, full of vitality.

For older children, this is more difficult. They are already prone to anxious expectations, but there are very real grounds for anxiety. Deprived of the society of peers, having no brothers and sisters (and often grandparents!) The child feels lonely. He has no other rear, except for his parents, and the fear of losing them is very strong.

The anxiety of late children is also increased by the anxiety of their parents. Having received a long-awaited child in his declining years, they, of course, are very worried about his life and health. And children, like antennas, pick up the mood of adults, and their own fears are magnified many times when disturbing waves come from their parents.

Anxiety, uncertainty, fear give rise to irritability. A person worries, cannot cope with himself, and splashes out his irritation on those who are not afraid - usually on those closest to him. "Late" mothers feel insecure in the pedagogical field. On the one hand, they do not have parental experience, and on the other hand, self-criticism is already very developed. They want to give their child everything to the maximum, they experience their pedagogical mistakes much more acutely than young parents, more often suffer from a sense of their own inadequacy. Striving for perfection, they often make high demands on the child, compare it with other children. They often lack patience - everything seems that they will not be in time, there is little time left, the years are passing, they must have time to invest as much as possible in the child.

And late children, as already mentioned, are nervous, they often have attention deficit disorder, fatigue, excitability, disinhibition. A professional teacher does not always cope with them, not like an inexperienced mother. Then the mother buys a mountain of psychological and pedagogical literature, begins to follow the advice of specialists. But the advice in different books is different, some clear line cannot be followed, and therefore the result is zero. The mother is even more nervous, begins to break down. And who is always there? Who is the closest and most defenseless? Of course, baby. The circle closes. The dearest and most beloved, the one for whom she is ready to sacrifice everything in the world, is under attack. And figuratively, and sometimes in the literal sense of the word.

Everything mentioned above mainly applies to only children. IN large families, where, of course, a late child can also be born, the situation is fundamentally different. Childbirth, as a rule, proceeds normally, without injuries and complications. The mother has a wealth of parental experience, grown older children become reliable assistants and nannies for the baby. Late children are drawn to their elders and acquire social and everyday skills much faster than others, like fish in water feel in different ages. children's team. This greatly facilitates their life, including school life, because a significant part of the problems of school maladjustment is generated by the psychological difficulties of the child.

Late children in large families do not suffer from loneliness. A large family clan, older brothers and sisters are a reliable rear for them. Yes, and parents are calmer when they understand that in which case there is someone to take care of their little son or daughter.

All this creates much more favorable conditions for the mental and intellectual development child. Maybe that's why there are not so many first-born among great people? So, the great Russian scientist Dmitry Mendeleev was the fourteenth child in the family. The German composer Ludwig van Beethoven is the seventh. Spanish classic Cervantes - fourth, Chekhov - third. Prince Daniil of Moscow, to whom Moscow owes its rise, is named in the annals as the fourth of the sons (hence, there were also daughters in the family). An outstanding woman of the Catherine era, Princess Dashkova was born fourth. By the way, our current president Vladimir Putin is also a late child. And not a firstborn either.

From the file "Nanny"

It is now common to hear that late pregnancies the risk of having a child with Down syndrome is very high. But statistics show otherwise. “The likelihood of this is surprisingly small at all ages, despite the hype raised in last years, - writes American researcher Jacqueline Kazan. “In children born to women in their forties, the probability of the disease is 1 in 100, and in women under thirty - 1 in 1000.” In Russian textbooks for medical universities, the figure 3% flashes (during childbirth at the age of 45), that is, 3 per 100, which is also not so much.

Chronicle of late birth

Hormone therapy was invented in the 1930s. Doctors began injecting an extract of pregnant mare urine (later called Premarin and used by menopausal women) into a group of infertile women. Some of them were able to get pregnant.

In the 1950s, in vitro (outside the human body) fertilization appeared.

Ten years later, there are drugs that improve fertility (days when you can conceive). The oral drug Clomid is the most commonly prescribed.

In 1978, Louise Brown was born - the first "test-tube" baby. British doctors managed to achieve fertilization of the egg in vitro and implant it in the mother's body.

In the 1980s, scientists learned not only to extract and fertilize eggs, but also to freeze embryos and store them for a long time. Two new types of fertilization have been created: in one case, the sperm and egg are launched into the fallopian tubes where fertilization takes place; in the other, the embryo first grows in a test tube and only then is implanted in the uterus.

The development of fertility-enhancing procedures posed ethical problems for physicians in the 1990s. A 63-year-old California woman, hiding her real age, becomes pregnant with the help of a donor egg and becomes the mother of a healthy baby girl. On this moment she is the oldest recorded woman in the world to have given birth to a child.

From the file "Nanny"

According to the results of recent studies, the blood pressure of children directly depends on the age of the mother.

This pattern was established by specialists from Harvard Medical School, who have already examined more than 300 newborns. According to the results of the processing of the first data, for every additional five years of the mother's age, the pressure in the child rises by 1.5 millimeters of mercury. According to one of the authors of the study, Dr. Matthew Gillman, the exact cause of the increase in blood pressure in children has not yet been established. Presumably, this should be blamed on a violation of the production of hormones in a woman, against which an age-related pregnancy occurs, and a decrease in the function of the placenta.

Research plan for "late" moms:

on the 11th-14th a.d. b. - Ultrasound of the uterus;

on the 16-20th a.d. b. - a woman's blood test for blood hormones (alpha-feta protein and human chorionic gonadotropin). Results after 2 weeks;

at any time from the 16th a.d. b. until the end of pregnancy - amniocentesis - the study of amniotic fluid. Results - after 3 weeks;

l 20-24 n. b. - Ultrasound;

l at any time from the 20th n.b. until the end of pregnancy - cordocentesis, the study of umbilical cord tissue cells. Results in a week.

From the file "Nanny"

Perhaps age affects the gender of the child. Women who dream of sons tend to be drawn to mature men! Scientists from the UK have found that women whose husbands are 10-15 years older than them give birth to their first male child twice as often as those whose husbands are the same age or younger.

Research shows that children of adult parents do better in school and have more leaders among them. As for geniuses, it's more difficult. The latter at birth are more often premature, which is also not uncommon in late births. Late-born children have a “meaningful” conservative upbringing - parents are wiser. As a result, a person is formed, socially somewhat isolated, emotionally closed, but at the same time striving to control the situation as much as possible. In a word, boss.

Deciding to give birth in adulthood. Why is this happening? How does late motherhood affect the health of a woman and a child? To answer these questions we will help the researcher of the Center for Obstetrics, Gynecology and Perinatology. V. I. Kulakova, professor, doctor of medical sciences Nana Kartlosovna Tetruashvili.

Career first, kids later

More recently, in obstetrics, the terms "old primipara" and "old primipara" were in use. Women who gave birth to their first children after 20 years old were considered old primiparous, and old, respectively, after 30. Now these terms have disappeared, and from the point of view of modern medicine, the first birth of a woman older than 35 is considered “late birth”.

- The fashion for late childbirth came to Russia from the West, where it is traditionally customary to get married after 30 years and give birth to the first child even later. According to French experts, today every fifth late child in all developed countries, including Russia, is the first in the family. “First of all, this trend is explained by social aspects,” says N. K. Tetruashvili. - Women first study, then make a career in order to achieve material stability and provide a decent future for their unborn child.

But the reasons for late birth are not only this. There are fewer and fewer completely healthy women who can get pregnant and give birth to a baby without problems. In this regard, age is not even so important. future mother according to the passport, as her real state of health. Sometimes a young girl has more health problems than a woman over 35.

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Nevertheless, there are diseases whose frequency increases with age - these are hypertension, diabetes mellitus, problems with the spine, decreased thyroid function, diseases of the cardiovascular system, and varicose veins. 18-20-year-old girls, as a rule, do not suffer from these diseases.

Cons of late motherhood

It is no secret that it is late-birth women who have the maximum number of problems in terms of conceiving, enduring and giving birth. healthy child without harming your own health. It is almost impossible to find a woman who, by the age of 40, would not suffer from some (and most often several) chronic diseases. Based on "biological considerations", it is generally accepted that the best time for the birth of a child in women falls on the age of 20-29 years.

After 35 years, the ability to conceive and bear a future baby decreases, primarily due to the fact that ovulation becomes more rare, hormonal changes progress, the susceptibility of the uterus to hormones decreases, and the “aging” of the egg occurs. The older the egg, the greater the risk that errors will occur in the complex process of growth and division of the fetus. Thus, it has been proven that the risk of chromosomal pathologies, especially for Down syndrome, increases significantly with the age of the mother.

If in 20-23-year-old women the risk of giving birth to a child with Down syndrome is 1 patient per 500-800 healthy children, then after 40 years it increases significantly - 1 per 120-130 healthy children. It does not matter what kind of child a woman gives birth to.

In addition, after the age of 35, the risk increases ectopic pregnancy, the occurrence of various complications, such as: premature or delayed pregnancy, preeclampsia (toxicosis of the second half of pregnancy), premature discharge amniotic fluid, weakness labor activity. Fetal hypoxia (lack of oxygen in a child during childbirth), which in most cases requires the use of a caesarean section, occurs 7 times more often in age-related primiparas than in young women.

In general, it should be noted that childbirth in primiparous women in most cases is carried out by caesarean section. This is due to the fact that the elasticity of the muscles and the elasticity of the joints are much lower compared to young mothers. If a young woman gives birth quickly, then a woman of age, as a rule, expects a long birth. Because the pelvic muscles are less elastic, they stretch worse.

With such childbirth, injuries, ruptures of the muscles of the perineum are quite frequent, which, in turn, leads to serious urinary disorders and problems with the rectum.

Another nuisance that awaits late-birth mothers is various chronic diseases, such as coronary heart disease, hypertension, diabetes, which can worsen during pregnancy and become a serious threat to the health of both the woman and the baby.

Women who have their first child after age 35 are more likely to have problems with postpartum period, take at least the problems of lactation, establishing breastfeeding. Many babies of late mothers from the first days of life are transferred to artificial nutrition. However, no matter how good artificial mixtures are, they will not replace mother's milk for the baby.

Benefits of late motherhood

One of the main advantages of late motherhood is that a child in a 30-40-year-old mother is born, as a rule, as a result of a planned pregnancy. He is expected as a great joy and happiness, and not as a burden. As a result, scientists came to the conclusion that the children of young women turned out to be less developed in psycho-emotional terms than the children of older mothers who were born after difficult, problematic, and even pathological pregnancies. Why? The answer is obvious: because these children are given much more attention, time and effort, because they have suffered and are desired. Here, obviously, lies the key to why many psychologists believe that late children are much more talented and gifted than their peers.

— It has been proven that if physiologically optimal time for childbirth, - says Professor Tetruashvili, - falls on the age of 20-29 years, then psychologically and emotionally a woman becomes ready for motherhood about ten years later. Obviously, therefore, women who become pregnant and give birth to a child after 30 perceive their condition more positively, and are less likely to become depressed.

Older mothers are more serious and responsible not only for the child, but also for pregnancy and childbirth. They regularly visit a doctor and follow all his recommendations. There are also purely medical advantages: as a result of late childbirth, a woman’s cholesterol level may decrease, the risk of stroke or osteoporosis may decrease. Late mothers, as a rule, do not have hearing problems, urinary tract infections occur less often, menopause passes more easily, menopause may occur later.

You should know it

During pregnancy, expectant mothers after 35 years of age undergo a detailed examination for fetal pathology. It includes ultrasonography in terms of 11 and 18-20 weeks, as well as the so-called "triple" test (determination of biochemical indications, the most famous of which is alpha-fetoprotein). However, the exact answer to the question of whether the child has Down's syndrome or not is given only by invasive prenatal diagnosis, that is, the analysis of amniotic fluid (amniocentesis) or the child's blood obtained from the umbilical cord (cordocentesis).

On early dates if there is no threat of miscarriage, you can do choriocentesis - the collection of the villi of the future placenta of the baby, and get an accurate answer. On later dates During pregnancy, they carefully monitor the condition of the unborn baby, for this they do cardiotocography - an analysis of the heartbeats and movements of the child, on the basis of which it is possible to judge whether he has enough oxygen and nutrients.

In some situations (with increased blood pressure, slow growth of the child, breech presentation, chronic diseases), it is better for older women at the end of pregnancy to be under the supervision of doctors in a maternity hospital.

By the way

Madonna gave birth to their first child at 36, Claudia Schiffer and Cindy Crawford became mothers at 35 and 36, respectively. Julia Roberts gave the world twins at the age of 37, and Kim Basinger gave birth even after 40 years. Our stars follow the Western example: Elena Yakovleva, Elena Proklova, Larisa Guzeeva, Lolita Milyavskaya decided on motherhoodwhen they were well over 30.

Public opinion

One of the obvious features is the ambivalent attitude towards such a situation of society. Encouraging everything that in one way or another testifies to the desire for activity, the preservation of youth in all manifestations, for changes in life, it highlights areas and individual events where all this can be allowed, and where not. A woman who changes jobs in the year of her fiftieth anniversary, goes to college, moves to another city, breaks off relationships that have not suited her for a long time and starts new ones, definitely well done. "It's never too late to start new life. We make up our own age. You proved that these are just numbers in the passport and, most importantly, how we feel and how we behave.” Everyone will say something like that, everyone will admire. It is quite another matter if the same woman announces that she is expecting a child. Yes, she decided on this with the same goal - to make her life more complete, rich, interesting. And - yes, this also indicates activity and youth. However, words of support will be much more restrained. “Well done, what can I say, I decided ...” And no one will assure that we come up with the age ourselves - on the contrary, there will be accurate calculations and warnings.

"I'm forty-six. And this is my first child. And I would be happy if on this occasion there were no disagreements in the family and with friends. They with their question “Did you think well?” drive me crazy. Like I'm underage or doing something inappropriate. Yes, I thought more than all of them put together about their children. And of course it's not easy for me either. After all, even medical examinations I go through more than other mothers. So a request to others - just rejoice! Anna

Society approves of any manifestation of youth as a way of life and thought, any striving for it. But just not like that. Why? Because it is a collective unconscious fear for the offspring, for their health and safety. Nature inspired it to people in ancient times, and as far as childbearing is concerned, we strive for generally accepted and time-tested norms. In this area, ideas about the appropriate and inappropriate age, about what is “on time” and what is “out of time” are preserved. A woman whose decision to become a mother contradicts these ideas will experience the complex emotional state of those around her. No, not condemnation, rather, some doubt, surprise and tension. And for many expectant mothers, this prevents them from feeling harmonious. You should be prepared for this state of affairs. So that each question: “Is it not too late?”, Each puzzled look does not cause a feeling of resentment or protest. In order not to waste emotions in vain and focus on what is most important.

What to say to a child?

When the birth of a child does not occur in the same way as in most families, then the question of the reasons is always more significant, always in one of the first places. This will be of interest to the immediate environment now and will be an occasion for reflection for the child himself later, when he grows up. Of course, all people are concerned, to one degree or another, with the history of their birth. However, children born in the most ordinary family and in the most ordinary circumstances almost never ask themselves the question “Why and how was I born?” Even if later, for example, the parents broke up. Unlike children born out of wedlock, or too young mothers, or, on the contrary, those who, by age, could well become a grandmother. Indeed, in the first case, the situation is perceived as an ordinary normal course of life, in the second - as a kind of special story. In the mind of a person who was born “not like everyone else”, the history of his birth always takes a greater place. And in childhood, and later. And it can significantly affect his attitude.

“... I never asked my mother how I was born. For some reason it was unsettling to think about it. And, although I saw photographs where my mother was pregnant, and those where I was only a few days old, it always seemed to me that I was not my own. When I was in the fifth grade, my mother became seriously ill, and her friend once said: “It’s good that at least you exist. And now there would be only one left.” Even later, I learned from the same friend that my mother did not love her husband and did not want children from him. Then they divorced, my mother searched for a long time perfect man for relationships. At the age of forty, she became pregnant from a casual acquaintance, and her friends persuaded her to give birth - as they say, for themselves. “She appreciated you very much. Maybe she didn’t always know how to show it. ” I understand that the mother did not know how to communicate with the child. I don't hate her. But for a very long time I had the feeling that I was superfluous, random, that I was not particularly welcome. It disappeared only now, when the children were born and I felt what real affection means. Maya, mother of Masha and Leni

Their manners

Not all stories of the birth of "late" children are dramatic. There are more and more women around the world who have just such a life plan. Education, career, hobbies, self-development and only then - a child. When it is already possible to fully concentrate only on education. And, of course, there are couples who have decided to completely trust nature in matters of childbearing. Both of them feel absolutely calm, confident in anticipation and convey these feelings to the child.

In this regard, it is worth considering in advance what, how and to whom to talk about it. The information may be true, but it should not injure or disturb. It is important for any person to realize the non-randomness of his birth, the desirability of it for loved ones. And the fact that this in itself was the main goal. It is not very pleasant for a child to know that he was born, because the elder brother grew up, left, his mother felt very bad without him, and now ... It is better if the parents always wanted another child and he was finally born.

State of the art

Changes in activity, emotionality, reaction speed - all this is inevitable. This is not so noticeable when people live in a normal mode, they regulate the load themselves. But the child changes the conditions of existence dramatically, taking care of him requires application. huge amount forces.

“Listen, were the rattles always so loud? You can go crazy with them, ”my husband once told me. He only walks with his daughter. If he gets up at night, then he then has pressure, if he plays for a long time, his back hurts. To be honest, I am very tired myself. Still, a child at eighteen and a child at forty-five are not the same thing. With my first son, I also managed to study at the institute, and now we even call a nanny sometimes. There is not enough strength to play without interruption - to feed - to bathe - to walk. And, of course, there is a lack of silence and a state of relaxation. But hopefully we'll get used to this lifestyle soon. Because our baby needs more and more attention and entertainment every day. Elena, Julia's mother

The older the parents, the calmer the behavior of the children. This is the influence of the educational environment. Parents demonstrate more restrained emotions, a more even attitude towards different situations. Their speech, movements, facial expressions are softer, and even noisy games performed by those over forty are not so noisy. Children unconsciously adopt all these features, get used to just such a way of life. They are more prone to contemplative entertainment, earlier than others they begin to read, draw, learn poetry by heart. This does not bother parents, rather, on the contrary, it even pleases. The child early demonstrates observation, good awareness in many issues. However, in the company of other children - on the playground, in the kindergarten - some separation from the team becomes noticeable. It's not that they can't play together, it's just that their rules of communication, their environment is not the same as most children's. After all, it is important even for preschoolers to be with a play partner, as they say, on the same wavelength. “Be smarter, more active, have fun with everyone,” parents say. But sometimes the child does not even understand what they want from him. There is only one way to solve the problem beyond the years of adult education - to involve other people in communication. Adults, but younger. Relatives, older children, friends. It is desirable that the child goes to kindergarten - even if the mother has the opportunity to devote herself entirely to the family. This will also contribute to activity and the formation of a variety of traits in behavior.

Fear for the child

“I myself am a late child. I remember well the feeling when one of the children in the kindergarten or school shouted: “Larisa, your grandmother came for you!” On the one hand, it was a shame for my mother, on the other, of course, I was shy. For myself, even then I decided that I would have children only at a very young age. But, ironically, it turned out quite the opposite. Now I am fifty-two. The children are thirteen and four. Nobody tells them that I am a grandmother - I pay a lot of attention to my appearance and have even done plastic surgery. But I still worry about how children perceive our age. I'm afraid that for a relationship, such a difference will still interfere later. In any case, my relationship with my mother interfered. We've never been close." Larisa, mother of Sasha and Polina

Everyone understands that it is possible to predict the future only to a certain extent, and that after five, ten years, everything may not go exactly according to our plan. However, a young age is characterized by an attitude that has received the name "unrealistic optimism" in psychology. Everything will be fine no matter what. Thoughts about the future in older people can also be positive, but they have more of a sober look and the connection of factors. In the field of parenthood, this pattern also exists. The older people are, the more they worry about the future of their children. And these experiences are very detailed. What will we look like when the child finishes school? Will we be healthy so that we can take care of ourselves all the time? Will he move away from us? If something happens to us, who will support him? How does he even worry that he has such parents? If such questions are intrusive, then it is rather not just a desire to take care and create good conditions. Probably, there is some deeper fear associated with their own experience and perception of age. This is certainly worth thinking about. Why is age scary, how do you imagine a person in different life periods, what kind of relationship do you expect. And - about what in this regard would be ideal for you, the child and the family as a whole. In reality, each person still chooses his own image of everything and follows it. As for children, the age of the parents, of course, matters and affects education. But not at all in the sense of "worsens, complicates." Relationships are a complex and multifaceted structure, and all factors are interdependent. Emotions, words, attitudes, willingness to listen, understand and accept, the ability to look at situations from different perspectives, the ability to rejoice and demonstrate a positive outlook on the world - everything has an impact on whether a trusting relationship will develop with a child and whether he will be happy. And this, you see, does not depend on how old the parents are.

who are late kids? for example me. my mother gave birth to me at 38, with terrible pressure, cesarean, but she gave birth "for herself."

I always understood women who failed to give birth before 35, it just so happened and no matter for what reasons, they give birth now, when they are about 35, or a little more, or much more, it doesn’t matter ... this is her first and long-awaited child, whom she will love, care and do everything to make his life easier and easier. such children are born because "they want THIS child."

but I never understood women who give birth late. I don’t want to offend anyone now, no, this is just my experience, I’m a late child, I just want to tell you, suddenly it will come in handy for someone. as my husband’s aunt said, women who give birth late do not give birth because they want a CHILD, but because they want to HAVE A CHILD, this is a whim, menopause is coming, but you want to look young, you want to be pregnant, to be taken care of, cherished, worried. it is by birth that all this is achieved. especially those who already have older children.

there are 4 of us in the family, I am the youngest, my older sister was 17 when I was born. absolutely everyone at home did not understand why mom wanted another one. even dad didn’t understand this… well, my sister was 17 years old… right now she’s 42 and I’m 25, and she can tell me everything to my face. then, at 17, she hated me, because she ceased to be the youngest, most beloved, she was put to sit with me instead of going on a date or to the movies with her girlfriends. “no, of course I loved you,” she says, but I interfered with her, she cried at my bed when she couldn’t calm her down ... a lot more ... all because the family is big, my mother went to work early, except there was no one to sit with me. only recently my sister confessed to me that the first races married not by Great love, and in order to escape at least somewhere from my mother and from me, so that they would stop hanging all possible cases on her ... after our conversation with her, I felt guilty for a long time.

school… all the time while I was studying my mother was always called my grandmother. there is probably a problem in my mother, when I was born, she finally put it on her appearance, on what she wears and how she looks, stopped wearing makeup and combing her hair normally, stopped buying new things ... everyone called her my grandmother. The situation worsened especially in the senior classes, when all the parents came to the meetings and I understood that from the outside she really looks like my grandmother. and I was also very jealous of other girls, my classmates, because their mothers helped them comb their hair, helped them dress better, told them how to make up beautifully, taught them to walk in heels, they could come to their mothers for advice, tell them about the boy they liked ... We had taboos at home. the most best hairstyle- a ponytail or a braid, I only started to paint in college, because it's not decent, to paint nails in general, all this fucking! heel?! what a heel!!! Only prostitutes wear heels! I bought the first shoes with a heel higher than 3 cm for myself at the age of 18 when I gave up cursive) I still wear them sucks))

I don’t know what happened to my mother, sometimes I look at her photos, black and white, she is beautiful there, in a short skirt and heels, with Angela Davis on her head. and she's 17 years old. I look and I don’t understand why she didn’t allow me to do so.

as she told me, she gave birth to me for herself, because she understood that she would become an old and useless grandmother, that’s what I’ll come in handy for, she told me this to my face, said that she never had plans that I I will get married, that she never had any plans that I would want children, that I would even want to leave her. she did not allow me to paint because she was afraid that someone would like me and leave her.

cons - by adulthood, I became a tough, well-knowing lie girl, stepping on a pile of rakes for 150 million races because there was no one to turn to for advice. I don't love my mom, I just feel sorry for her.

And now her health is very bad, diabetes. many will probably say that diabetes is not a problem, you can live with it, and I agree, of course you can, you just need to take care of yourself and not give up. only now she has already put it. now she’s whining and every day at dinner she says that “everything hurts ... there’s no strength as it hurts ... I’d rather die ... and you don’t need me ... it will only become easier for you to die ...” girls and this is EVERY DAY for 7 years ... and the most It's disgusting that I start to agree with her, it will become easier for me. so that my husband and I don’t go for a walk, for example, she can act out a heart attack, or the fact that she is suffocating, or that her eyesight has fallen and there is only snow and circles in front of her eyes ... a one-man theater. and in the last race, she said to my husband, “do you hope that I will let you go? no, you will live with me until I die, endure Lyosha ”… EVERY DAY ..............

another horror from childhood, even two, after which I stopped going to her for advice.

when I started having fever, I was 12, I came to her all scared, and instead of telling me how great it is, like all normal mothers, that now I'm an adult, that there's nothing to worry about, instead of helping me pick up panties and comfortable pads, she said that I would suffer like this for up to 40 years, every month, that it hurts and is disgusting, be patient, and instead of panties with a comfortable thin pad, she handed me her old Soviet rubber underpants !!! I think that those women who are about 65 right now understand perfectly what I'm talking about ... she gave me this crap, ran to the pharmacy and bought me a pack of bella, the longest and thickest, without wings! it was a nightmare!!! all night in these rubber shorts!!! I did not sleep. in the morning I went to my sister to go to the vykhino, and here they finally showed me which panties are more comfortable, which pads are better ....))

After that, I stopped going to her for help.

dear mothers, who are about 35 right now, read this, the most important thing is not to be selfish, give birth to children for their own sake and not because you wanted to in your old age, love them, do not think about yourself, do not forget that it is important for a child how he looks Mom, do not be capricious, most importantly do not score on your health, if something hurts, get treated, because by putting on your health you will not let your child live the same life as his peers. the main thing is your health. and your hobby is very important, so as not to bother your late children with your old age, whining and insanity, find a job for yourself)

I hope that I didn’t offend anyone, I just told, shared, I hope many will at least take something out of it.

Late parenthood is rarely spontaneous, most often it is a conscious step of people who have dreamed of procreation for many years, but, due to various circumstances, brought the dream closer only in adulthood. Of course, such a child is not always the first and only one: sometimes a baby is born in order to plunge into parental care again after the older children have grown up. Be that as it may, the late child is a special topic for conversation.

Parents - over forty

And, having crossed the threshold of forty years, they decide to add to the family, fully aware of the future consequences, unlike newlyweds, whose children often “get” inadvertently and, alas, sometimes become a burden.

An elderly married couple has a set of advantages that distinguish it favorably from a young one:

Financial and career stability, coupled with an even psychological background, create fertile "ground" for the development of a late child: parents do not spare time to communicate with him, his education and upbringing.

Difficulties of education

But, of course, it is also replete with pitfalls that psychologists warn about, not forgetting to emphasize that these disadvantages are more typical for families with an only child than for large families:

increased parental anxiety and the resulting overprotection of the baby;

lack of confidence in their pedagogical abilities and "introspection";

self-withdrawal of parents (due to health and age) from participating in joint outdoor games;

negative attitude of others to the fact of late parenthood;

over-demanding in relation to the child, due to the awareness of the short duration of parental life;

the family climate can also be spoiled by the fading sexual activity of the couple.

But forewarned means forearmed: psychologists assure that all possible negative factors can be overcome with their reasonable comprehension and foresight. And it is the age couple that can do it.

Psychological development of the child

The psychological "portrait" of the baby begins to emerge from the moment of birth and is closely related to the age of his parents.

By the way, older sisters and brothers may well become (and become) quite "qualified" assistants to parents in raising the youngest member of the family, if we are talking about a large family.

Positive points, which are easy to notice in the development of late children:

they quickly establish contact with both peers and older children;

they have a very early desire for independence;

they get along well with adults and the elderly, because. have experience of daily communication with their "age" parents.

True, there is a small danger here: the child may consciously contact those who are much older, considering their peers less interesting and significant interlocutors.

Unfortunately, the list is longer. negative psychological nuances accompanying the development of a late child:

the child can live in constant fear for the life and health of the parents;

the baby may have increased nervous excitability caused by parental "excessive" in relation to him;

the child begins to manipulate his parents, realizing how dear he is to them;

the child is deprived of the right to vote due to the fault of excessively authoritarian parents;

mom and dad are raising their beloved offspring, guided by book pedagogical techniques, in isolation from life;

the baby does not put any restrictive behavioral framework;

a child may feel unwanted if he was conceived only in order to save the marriage;

the baby is able to project onto himself parental uncertainty and anxiety for his future.

And yet, as experts noted, children born to fathers over 45 years of age have difficulty adapting to existence in society. This male age (45-55) is also considered critical for conception: the risk of having a baby with diagnoses of Down syndrome, autism and schizophrenia is increased. There is evidence that later children are more susceptible to manic-depressive psychosis.

Work on mistakes

It is clear that a wise, mentally stable couple is able to foresee possible shortcomings and avoid them.

So that your child does not experience embarrassment for you, comparing with young parents of your peers, try to keep yourself in constant good shape: be sure to go in for sports, get involved in something, be aware fashion trends, react to what is happening with a smile. Willingly play with children without fear of seeming ridiculous and naive.

Your child does not have to fulfill your unfulfilled fantasies and career aspirations. Remember that a child is just a vessel given to you by God to keep. And he will stumble on his way on his own: you will not be able to predict and foresee everything.

Do not "saw" your child - excessive criticism will hit the child's self-esteem and give him a reason to avoid your company. The flip side of the coin is the condemnation of everyone except your child: you risk raising a monster who blames others for all the misfortunes.

Do not go to extremes when communicating with the baby, controlling his every step or giving him full will. Do not be too rigid or extremely pliable: the child should feel your support and understanding every hour.

geeks

Not so long ago, a very interesting study on late children was published in the UK: its authors claim that these children are superior in health and intelligence to their peers born to young mothers. It turned out that late children have higher immunity, they get sick less and go to doctors, they are less likely to get into traumatic situations.

Late children are ideal patients for immunologists, they strictly follow the national vaccination schedule. They are also less prone to obesity - the scourge of modern society. By the age of five, these babies demonstrate an increased level of intelligence and an excellent vocabulary in comparison with the children of young parents.